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Role Models: Influencing others
by BRODAN ADDIE THIEL
Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for theDegree of
Bachelor of Arts and Sciences Quest University Canada
and pertaining to the Question
“What is a role model”
22/04/2013
____________________________________________________________
Concentration Mentor Brodan Thiel
Characteristics of role models
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A role model is an individual who exhibits desirable or exemplary behaviour, who others
aspire to emulate, and who has a lasting effect on the attitudes or behaviours of another
individual. In a relationship between a role model and a mentee, the role model shares
experience, advice or knowledge with the mentee in order to lead him or her towards success.
This can occur through many different endeavours, whether it is in everyday life or a more
specific situation. The effects of a role model are evident in a variety of ways; for example, the
mentee mimicking the role models actions or behaviours, or, the mentee using their role model’s
teachings as a framework in making conscious decisions.
Over the course of ones’ life, role models come from many different places and can
change many times depending on the circumstances or situations (Payne, Reynolds, Brown &
Fleming, 2002). Teachers, peers, parents, celebrities and spouses are considered by most to share
role modelling characteristics (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002). There are similarities
in the type of role models that are most prevalent to individuals in certain stages of their lives.
In the early developmental stages of ones’ life, young children relate mostly to their
immediate family for guidance (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002). This occurs because
of their limited contact with others outside of the household, their lack of social skills, and their
heavy reliance upon the direction of their parents (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).
When a child starts going to school and is exposed to other social relationships, the individuals
who have the most impact on the child changes. By entering school, the child will look more to
their peers and school teachers to help shape their behaviour than their parents (Payne, Reynolds,
Brown & Fleming, 2002). By the time an individual grows old enough to make thoughtful
decisions, often the type of role model has expanded to come from many realms of life, such as
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athletes, coaches and celebrities. (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).
Role modelling presents itself in many different facets of life. A relationship between role
models and learners is situational, and can change on a relationship by relationship basis. There
are differences between having a coach or a sibling as a role model because of the longevity and
emotional investment that comes with this relationship. Some role models relationships evolve
over your lifetime, whereas other role models can yield benefits after only one meeting. For
instance, there is a large difference between a mentoring relationship and a friendship. Mentors
and protégé partnerships are some of the most important role modelling relationships because of
the sacrifices that the mentor makes in order for the protégé to achieve success (Pastore, 2003).
Mentoring is defined as a relationship where a more experienced individual provides guidance
and support in an attempt to better the protégé (Pastore, 2003). These relationships are very
important in developing success in a particular endeavour, but are not lifelong. Most mentor and
protégé relationships last on average between 3-8 years, because of their link to a specific
endeavour (Pastore, 2003) Whereas mentoring is usually career orientated, peer relationships are
far more emotionally charged, and can last 20-30 years (Pastore, 2003). A peer role modelling
relationship is far more about mutual understanding and trust (Pastore, 2003). Role modelling is
apparent in many different situations where role modelling is present, and serves different
purposes in each.
In a mentoring relationship, the affects that an individual can have on another may vary
drastically, based on the extent of that relationship. If a person has many role models, a particular
role model might only have a slight impact on an individual’s habits and behaviours. In contrast,
a person with fewer role models will feel more of an impact from a particular individual (Buford
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May, 2009). A person can also take selected behaviours and attitudes from one role model and
mold them with the attributes of another to create an adaptation that fits for the persona that they
want to create for themselves (Buford May, 2009).
Direct Role Models
During my life, I have had many different role models some of whom are: father, brother,
uncles, teachers, counsellors and coaches, all of have affected me in different ways, and shaped
me into who I am today. Some of the individuals have had a slight impact to my behaviour,
whereas others have played a significant, lasting role in influencing my behaviour, character,
outlook, and attitude. Others have made a notable positive impact to my life; whereas others still
whom I have viewed as an important role model have greatly affected my personal growth in a
negative way.
Positive role model
Both brothers and sisters have been successful role models as siblings are usually close in
age, and go through similar experiences in a similar environment. In western society, having
siblings as role models is commonplace, over 80% of all children have a sibling (Recchia, 2006).
These relationships are also valuable because of their longevity; relationships with siblings in
most cases are the longest that anyone will have within their lifetime (Recchia, 2006). Children
often spend more time with siblings than either parents or peers outside of school hours
(Whiteman & Christiansen, 2008). Recchia (2006) found that in sibling relationships, in most
cases the older sibling takes on a leadership and teaching role, while those born after are more
likely to follow and be learners. This concept accurately describes my personal experience and
4
relationship with my older brother.
When I was a child I was fortunate enough to have a positive role model within my own
household: my older brother. Though he is only a year older than me, throughout my childhood
my brother was someone I looked up to and aspired to emulate. The small age gap between us
played a notable role that he played on my life because most of the situations that arose were
issues or events which he had only recently experienced the year before. This provided me with a
constant source of reference for most of the experiences I had throughout my life. The most
important lessons I learned from my brother are that life is not always fair and that you cannot
care what other people think of you.
One of the reasons my brother was such a good role model is the strength and positivity
he continually showed through dealing with Alopecia areata, a diagnosis, he received at the age
of five. This disease causes ones’ hair to fall out and many bald spots then appear over the
person’s scalp (Muller & Winkelmann, 1966). This condition is very difficult for an individual to
accept and manage, especially in a superficial society where one’s appearance is of social
importance. Throughout my childhood I was impressed by the courage my brother showed
throughout his diagnosis, and I was further struck by his reaction to the ramifications of the
visible effects of his condition. At school, classmates would call him names like ‘baldy’ or ‘old
man’, but their bullying never discouraged him. For him, he remained positive and focused his
energies on excelling athletically. Sports played a pivotal role in him being able to deal with his
Alopecia areata because he was a talented athlete. In the wake of an uncontrollable disease
which his peers considered a weakness, my brother excelled on the playing field. Sports allowed
him to prove his capabilities and self-worth and to be an integral part of the team’s success. This
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allowed him to channel and release the frustrations that he dealt with on a daily basis. It inspired
me to watch him find salvation by creating his own judgement-free environment.
I naturally gravitated towards playing sports from a young age, in part to aspire to be like
my brother. When I was younger, I didn’t possess the same drive for sport as my brother;
however, I never let this discourage me because I viewed the struggles he went through on a
daily basis and how he personally benefited through his experience with athletics. By supporting
him through his struggle with Alopecia and witnessing how he handled it, I was not discouraged
when I experienced setbacks in my own athletic career. For example, when I was cut by my high
school basketball team, I thought about ending my basketball career forever. However, seeing
my brother deal with his hair loss in our youth made me understand that life is not always fair.
Instead of giving up I chose to persevere: train harder, remain positive, and focus my energy
upon improving and excelling. Instead of giving up, I came back the next year in better shape
than the other current team members. My perseverance to succeed eventually led to a University
varsity basketball career and scholarship. Younger siblings are in an advantageous position
compared to older siblings, as they are able to learn from someone close to them (Recchia,
2006). I am uncertain which path I might have followed had I not experienced the valuable
lessons from the situations that my brother had to deal with when we were growing up, his
positive outlook on life, and resilient attitude in the face of adversity helped deliver me from that
destiny.
Negative role model
Role models are all around you when you grow up; one of the most important things is
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finding a balance between positive and negative aspects of your interactions as you develop
(Holly, 2006). For me it was great to have a positive role model within my household (my
brother). Unfortunately, I was subject to negative influence within my same household: my
father. My father was present in my life in physical form, but never in an emotional form. His
substance abuse exacerbated his lack of emotional or psychological connection to the family. He
viewed his role as a father as providing monetarily for his family (food and shelter), but nothing
further. To me, fatherhood is far more that, I feel that a father should be engaged in his child’s
life to help mold him into a better person through his own personal experiences. A child will
always relate to their parents as role models because in youth we are not exposed to the world
around us as much as our families as we are confined to the individuals that are in our
households (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002). Therefore, parents can be positive or
negative role models but this depends on the behaviours and attitudes that they display or pass on
to their children (Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).
The experience of my disconnected father trying to raise me while dealing with a
substance abuse problem has led me to view him as a negative role model. In the Handbook Of
Parenting, it states that “individuals with substance abuse problems are frequently assumed to be
incapable of adequately fulfilling a variety of social roles, including the role of parent”
(Bornstein, 2002). Within my household, it was clear that my father could not fulfil any social
roles affiliated with parenthood. His habit was not something that he tried to hide; instead, he
directed his children to assist in fuelling his addiction by asking us to fetch him alcoholic drinks.
Alcoholism is defined as a “diseased condition due to excessive use of alcoholic beverages”
(Parsons, 2003). The American Psychiatric Association states that there are three characteristic
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that present when diagnosing the disease: physiological problems including black outs and
memory loss, psychological problems that require one to drink all the time, and behavioural
problems that result in issues at work and in social contexts (Parsons, 2003). In my experiences
with my father all of these characteristics were present from the time that I was old enough to
understand the situation. The commonality of alcoholism is devastating, indeed, it has caused
more family problems than any other single cause, as one in four families has an issue with the
disease (Parson, 2003).
Growing up in a household where my father consistently dealt with substance abuse
influenced me profoundly. As a teenager, I had a preconceived notion that it was acceptable to
abuse drugs and alcohol. I felt that if my father (who I viewed as a role model when growing up)
was a functioning member of society and financially providing for his family while abusing
substances, then there was no problem with his lifestyle. When I initially experimented with
substances myself as a teen I was never told by him that they were bad for me; if he were to
assert that substances were detrimental to a person it would have been truly hypocritical because
he was using every single day. I recall a lone confrontation with my father regarding my
experimentation after it had become a visible problem for me both emotionally and physically.
He said, “You can't be doing this, all the people I knew in high school who are drug abusers are
still living in their parent’s basements.” Looking back, I felt his attempt to stop my unfavourable
choices was too little too late, and far too superficial. There was already a problem, and his
words had no relevance as I saw him behaving in the same way.
Not having a firm stance against substance abuse within my household led me to view
substance abuse as acceptable, as long as one was still functioning in the community. I still
8
considered my father a role model at this point, so, because he was living his life in this fashion,
I believed I could follow suit. It was not until I started seeing my academics and dreams of being
a college basketball player slip away that I realized it was time for a change. Having a father that
was still using at this time led me to face my own demons in terms of my substance abuse.
Eventually I stopped using substances completely and reassessed my initial notions of how to
become a successful adult and eventually father. In achieving this I had to analyze the
emotionally unstable relationships and problems that were present within my household in my
childhood, and through honest self-reflection determine which direction in life I would choose to
take.
Later on in life, the experience of growing up with a parent as an abuser allowed me to
get away from using myself, because I saw the harm addiction can do to both the person using
and the people around them. Walker (2007) found that in some cases negative role models can
ultimately become positive role models: when an individual’s actions are observed in a negative,
undesirable light and the observer consciously decides not to follow the same path so as not to
experience the same pitfalls. This accurately describes my situation in having my father as a role
model. Initially he served me as a negative role model, but years later I viewed him as a positive
role model because I was able to see the hurt and pain that was brought on my family because of
his substance abuse, which led me to getting clean and seeking recovery myself.
Having being raised in a household where substance abuse was prominent and becoming
a user myself, I began to wonder how correlated the two are because of parental influence.
Fawzy, Coombs, & Gerber (1983), found that teenagers are more likely to use themselves if they
know their parents are users or if they perceive that they use. This means that children similar to
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me look at their parents and say, “If he can do it why can't I?” Therefore, it is the parents’
responsibility to understand that the environment that they create at home has a drastic impact on
their children, and if they are going to see the use substance by parents, it should not be a
surprise that they mimic the acts of their role models.
In the case of both my brother and my father, I have seen the effects that both positive
and negative role models can have on an individual. They are role models to me because both of
these individuals have had significant impact on my attitude and behaviours. Role models can
impact mentees through mentee observation (Bufford May, 2009). In the case of my brother and
father, I have had maintained contact with both of them and therefore consider them both to be
direct role models who I have modelled behaviours after (Burford May, 2009).
Indirect Role Models
People can also be influenced by indirect role models; indirect role models take on an
influential role by only having mediated contact with those that aspire to be like them (Buford
May, 2009). Indirect role models are usually given their exposure through some form of media;
for example: athletes or movie stars.
The impact of indirect role models is evident in individuals who view their successes and
try to mimic the behaviour of the indirect role model. It is imperative that these role models, in
order to portray positivity, have a level of understanding that what they do and what they say has
a very large impact on their followers. This can be a difficult position for some as they
reluctantly feel that they are not role models and others should fill that void. In 1993, NBA Hall
of Famer Charles Barkley said, “I am not a role model. I am paid to wreak havoc on the
basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I
10
should raise your kids.” (Bufford May, 2009) Having read this, I don't think Mr. Barkley
understand the impact that he has had on other individuals.
When I was a child, my mother bought me Charles Barkley basketball shoes because I
thought I would play more like him if I had them. I also remember waking up early on Saturday
mornings to watch him play on television, then going into my basement to throw some dunks on
my plastic hoop that was conveniently named the “Charles Barkley: Wreaking Havoc Hoop”.
Charles Barkley was someone I looked up to because he was a great player, and he was not as
reserved as others in interviews and instead was forthright, direct and confident. Given the
enduring popularity of Charles Barkley, his role as a star basketball player, personality, and
talent has inspired people across the world for years. Therefore, it would be preposterous to not
consider him a role model, even if he doesn't regard himself as one.
A very important concept to understand with indirect role models is the way that they are
portrayed in the media may not represent their true characteristics (Bufford May, 2009). For
instance, in the eighties the NBA introduced its “NBA Cares” campaign. This required all of
their athletes to give back to the community through charitable donations or volunteering
(Bufford May, 2009). The league felt that this would be a step in the right direction because they
knew that children viewed their athletes as role models. Therefore, it would benefit them by
having their athletes portrayed as positive role models, instead of being seen as negative role
models (Bufford May, 2009). Even though the NBA tried to put a positive spin on their athletes
by introducing these regulations, it was later found that it did not have as crucial an effect as they
once thought.
In a study by done by Reuben A. Buford May, he found that many youth regard NBA
11
players as role models simply on the skills they possess for the game of basketball (Bufford May,
2009). This meant that stars like Allen Iverson and Kobe Bryant, who are very skilled on the
court, are still viewed by youth as role models even though they were at one point involved in
off-court issues that would not be considered positive role modelling acts (Bufford May, 2009).
For this reason, athletes and celebrities must understand whatever negative press may arise about
them in the media will still impact the youth, as they regard them as their role models because of
the success they have in their chosen profession.
Early my brother and I developed an obsession for athletes that were larger than life
figures, who served as indirect role models. We really enjoyed wrestling and some of our
favourites were WWF wrestlers. For some reason, most of my memories of my childhood are
related to wrestling. This probably has to do with the amount of time that we spent watching it,
playing with action figures, and wrestling in our back yard. We loved watching wrestling in our
basement, then going out in our backyard trampoline and trying to emulate the electrifying
moves we saw on television. For us, wrestling was the coolest thing in the world, and the
wrestlers themselves we considered God-like. The stars of this sport were exactly what we
wanted to be like: they had big muscles, they did not care what anyone said about to them, and
they were physically domineering, confident, and powerful.
Many parents believe that wrestling is something that kids should not watch because of
its violent nature and the poor values that the storyline teaches', therefore, these parents would
never considered wrestlers to be positive role models. I feel that without them as role models I
would not be in the position I am today in regards to academia or athletics. Without athletic
scholarship I would not be able to attend my current university because of finances. The reason I
12
believe that enjoying wrestling has benefited me so much is that when I was watching wrestling
when I was younger I was always in awe of the unbelievable physiques that wrestlers obtained.
This was something that we set out to emulate. Accordingly, my brother and I needed to figure
out what they did to look like that and ultimately led us to training day and night in an attempt to
build muscle. This was my introduction to weight training, and assisted me in becoming a
successful basketball player, as I was far more physically developed then the athletes I was
competing against. My performance on the court eventually led to a university scholarship.
Truthfully, I never thought that watching wrestling as a youth would have such an impact on my
life, but this indicates that role models can come from all sorts of unexpected places.
My experiences with Role Modeling in Basketball
Having played basketball for over fifteen years, I have had many different experiences
with different coaching styles, philosophies and role models within this community. When I
played basketball as a youth (age 8-12) it was all about learning the fundamentals of the game
and having fun. At this time coaches were not really people I could consider role models as I did
not spend time enough with them to build a strong relationship on and off the court. During these
years, in most cases basketball involves one practice and one game a week. In contrast, at the
high school level, I began to spend considerable time with my team. At this stage, my team and
coaches started to have more of an impact on me as role models.
In high school, I noticed how much athletics can shape one’s life. I also started realizing
how much of an effect a coach has on his or her players’ lives for multiple reasons. The coach’s
beliefs, behaviours and decisions have a drastic impact on every individual involved with their
basketball program. Children look at their role models for assurance; in adolescence it has been
13
found that coaches and parents have the biggest impact on sporting experience (Martin, Dale &
Jackson, 2001). Hence, the impact of these role models during childhood is essential to athletic
experience. It is in high school you start feeling this effect because you are practising four times
a week and have a few games a week. In many ways, for the duration of the season your sport
becomes a part of your identity as an individual. With Every win or loss and good or bad game
affects your attitudes and behaviour outside and inside of the sport are impacted. The role of the
coaches at this time is to lead a group of individuals to work as a cohesive unit on the court by
teaching them the valuable lessons in both basketball and life. This is when the coaches start
having a large role in impacting the lives of their players and start being seen as role models
(Payne, Reynolds, Brown & Fleming, 2002).
Life Lessons
In my early high school years I had not begun to take school and sports seriously. I was
always getting in trouble, getting bad grades, and taking on unfit people as role models. In my
sophomore year of high school when I began to look at basketball purposefully, I started to reap
the benefits that can be associated with sport participation. It has been found that sport
participation has been found to decrease delinquency rates, improve school performance and
benefit social skills (Kremer-Sadlik & Kim, 2007). This could not be truer for me: when I started
having hoop dreams, I saw myself achieving more positive things.
In senior high school, I was taught valuable lessons by my coach that has carried out to
my life outside of sports. Our coach was very young at this time, and I felt that the limited age
gap between the players and coach allowed us to develop a relationship in which we could relate
to each other more easily. We respected our coach because he had just finished a successful
14
collegiate basketball career himself as a player. This taught me that there must be a level of
respect in any relationship where a role model is present. If he had not had all of his experience
as a player we would not have shown him the same respect.
This coach taught me many valuable lessons throughout the years that he coached me,
but the most important life lesson was that basketball is only temporary and we must be well
rounded individuals in life.
He displayed this philosophy throughout the season many times. In one instance, one of
our best players was struggling academically and was not allowed to play until his grades
showed drastic improvement. Therefore, every practice instead of playing he had to watch us
from the bleachers while doing his homework. This was an eye opening experience for us as
players because we then knew that if we did not perform in the classroom we would be sitting in
the bleachers beside him doing our homework. After that, each person on the team improved
their grades, and it was an experience that benefited all of us because we knew we had to be as
good in the classroom as we were on the court in order to play. Losing this player may have hurt
us on the court because he was one of our best players, but this was a lesson we needed to learn
because in essence you are in school to learn and playing basketball is just a privilege.
Rick Pitino, coach of Louisville University Basketball, feels that as leaders you are in a
position of power and that successful leadership is measured by the effect leaders have on others
(Pitino & Forde, 2008). As a coach you have the ability to act positively; positive actions should
be taken to effectively inflict betterment to those you are inspiring (Pitino & Forde, 2008). My
coach exhibited this philosophy. As a role model for us, he taught us valuable lessons throughout
basketball that we were able to apply to our lives, bettering us both as basketball players, and
15
individuals.
Sharing experiences can be valuable
One of the best characteristics of my high school coach was his pre-game speeches
because of his ability to use anecdotes of his playing days to give inspiration. His speeches
would take his stories of perseverance and tribulations through years of experience as a player
and relate them to our current situation. My coach used his experiences as an instrument to
inspire us, a researched tool to communicate team goals by creating intrinsic appeal (Conger,
1991). A leader must not only be able to provide the proper information at the right time, but
describe them in ways that maximize their effects (Conger, 1991). I remember one particular
game we were suffering from a large point deficit at half time. When we went into the locker
room, our team’s body language was awful. We looked like we had given up on the game and
thought we could not come back from the score deficit. At half time before the coaches came in,
usually some of the leaders on the team would share their opinions on how the team could
improve in the next half; however, in this instance everyone sat in silence, because none of us
knew what to say. A few minutes later he came in and looked at us, and said “It's not over.” He
then told us a story about when his team was down by twenty points at half time in a playoff
game. I remember him reliving that game as he told the story: “We won the first 5 minutes, then
we won the next five minutes, then we were down by ten with ten minutes to go and we knew we
had a chance.” Inspired by his halftime speech, we came out with our heads held high knowing
that if we were going to have a chance at winning the game, we needed to chip away at the lead
and win the first five minutes. We ended up winning the game on a last second shot, and if not
for our coach’s half time speech, I doubt that we would have come close to winning. This taught
16
me the value of sharing your own personal experiences to inspire others, and has been
instrumental in how I inspire others today.
Learning these lessons from my high school coach allowed me to be a better leader on
my own basketball team years later. This past season, I was severely injured and not able to
perform to my usual standards on the court. For any athlete an injury can be devastating as it can
be devastating to their mental health. I took my injury as a learning experience. Unable to
perform my best on the court, I knew I could still remain an integral part of the team through
offering positive leadership. Having played for many years in our league, and for two different
programs, I had a lot of past experiences to draw upon to help inspire my teammates. Painting a
picture for our younger players about the past successes and failures of a basketball program is
something that inspired us to reach levels we were not capable of before. Without experiencing
the lessons from my old coach, I don't think I would have understood the value of relating our
current situation the past experience. This was inspiring for my teammates, as we achieved our
first bronze medal in Quest Basketball history.
Importance of creating a proper environment
After graduating high school, I was offered the opportunity to attend Capilano University
and play for the varsity basketball team. My experience with coaches to this point had been
limited to my high school coach. I found out very quickly that the new coach I had at Capilano
had a far different outlook on life and athletics than I had ever experienced or expected.
For my coach at Capilano, basketball was his life. There was nothing else that mattered to
him. If we won, everything in his life was good. If we lost, it was as though the world was going
to end. This coach wore his emotions on his sleeves like no one I had ever seen before. He was
17
so negative, and never would congratulate his players. He would always tell us, “If you’re
looking for someone to pat you on the back, you’d better start playing somewhere else, ‘cause
I'm never going to do it.”
The two years I played with him as my leader were two of the most painful years of my
life because of his constant negativity. Our coach was unapproachable. He would yell at us if we
did anything wrong and then become aggressive. He called us names, and swore at us. Instead of
using positive reinforcement, he used fear as a motivator. Our coach’s poor attitude quickly
spread to the rest of the team. As players we would constantly bicker and generally be negative
with one another. I believe that this came as a result of the way that we saw our coach treating
us: we thought that we could treat each another the same way. In essence, we were all just acting
as members of the negative environment our role model created for us. We may have not been
trying to emulate his behaviours, but it came out naturally.
Unsurprisingly, our team was a group of underachievers in those two years, both
athletically and academically. As a result the coach was eventually fired. After being a part of
these teams, I vowed to never create an environment like this when in a role modelling position.
In my opinion, a proper environment that someone in a position of leadership should aspire to
create is one where all the members are on the same level of communication, and there is respect
towards the leader because of what they offer to the collective group not because of their position
or because they can discipline you.
“Do as I say, not as I do”
Whenever our coach at Capilano University saw one of us emulating the same behaviours
that he himself displayed, he would say “Do as I say, not as I do”. This was some of the worst
18
advice I have ever been given by anyone. It is pretty clear to me that if you are creating this
negative and hectic environment, people are going to reciprocate with the same behaviours.
Instead of saying, ‘Do as I say, not as I do’, I believe he should have reassessed his coaching
philosophy to try and create a different environment for his players. Although, I found this
philosophy to be outlandish, it appears to be very common place throughout the basketball
community, as many high profile coaches apply it on a daily basis.
This philosophy was not only displayed within his negative behaviour but also in regards
to personal fitness. For me having a coach who was not in any way shape or form physically fit,
but still demanded his players to be in great physical shape was preposterous. Most of my
teammates shared the same belief. It was clear that the man had never been an athlete in his life
and this could also attest to some of the insurmountable feats that he made us perform. After a
weekend in which we lost both our games, he demanded that we be at our court early the next
morning for a conditioning practice. During this time we ran fifty sets of lines in fifty minutes. If
he himself had ever run any lines in his life he would understand that this task had the ability to
cause injury and mental distress, but because he forced us to do it by saying “If you can't finish,
you’re off the team,” everyone completed the task. This was another example where he used
fear to motivate us. Having us perform this task did not benefit our team as a unit as he lost a lot
of respect from his players by making us do this.
During the year this coach would assign a set of workouts for everyone to complete on
their own time, but there was a significant lack of incentive for the team to complete these tasks.
He did not give us a physical test before or after, so there was really no motivation other than
personal achievement because the coach had no concrete way of measuring progress. I always
19
completed these workouts because weightlifting was already a part of my weekly routine. Other
members on the team did not share the same dedication to complete the workouts for reasons
stemming from personal laziness to lack of motivation from our coach. I remember a few of
them saying “He is so out of shape himself. How can expect us to do all these workouts?” This
brought to my attention that if you are going to ask someone to do something such as get
physically fit, it would be a good idea to look like you are in shape yourself. Having the
mentality of “Do as I say, not as I do” will simply not get you the best results in this instance as
many people require a role model that looks the part. Jacobson & Kulling (1989) found that
physical educators and coaches that have given up on physical fitness themselves are seen as
negative role models to those who they are trying to teach or coach. This means that if you are
not fit yourself, you are not going to get the same results from your players as a coach that is fit.
In his book “Rebound rules: the art of success 2.0”, Hall-of-fame Basketball Coach Rick
Pitino emphasizes the importance of physical in his profession, because he does not want to be
seen as a hypocrite. Every single day he charts what he eats, and what how he exercises in order
to obtain his goal of remaining physically fit and trim (Pitino & Forde, 2008). It may seem like a
daunting task having to write down this information every day, but this system allows him to
evaluate his progress on a daily basis. He feels that being fit himself is instrumental in coaching
as he states, “Given the emphasis we put on physical fitness and conditioning in our program, it
would be hypocritical of me to let my body go while demanding that my players push themselves
into peak shape” (Pitino & Forde, 2008). Rick Pitino's ideologies surrounding physical fitness
are the opposite of what my coach stressed. Instead of saying “do as I say, not as I do”, he
thought if I am going to stress being as fit as possible, I better be in good shape myself so the
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players will listen. The benefits he received from preaching what he practised have allowed him
to motivate his players to reach insurmountable feats. Pitino is the only coach in history to lead
three different NCAA Basketball programs to the Final Four.
This instance is specifically looking at how a coach who is unfit built an approach of “Do
as I say, not as I do” in regards to physical fitness, and it does not work. This approach did not
receive very good results out of his players. Even though this is specific to personal fitness this
situation can be an example that can be taken into many different accounts of role modelling. It
is difficult for a role model to act hypocritically in regards habits or behaviours that he is trying
to get his mentee to perform and expect to get results. Therefore, by requesting that someone
does something, it would most likely be wise to be practising the same habits or behaviours
yourself to get the best results.
Staying true to your philosophy as a role model
At Quest University, we are fortunate to have the opportunity to have a couple of courses
that are used for experiential learning. I used these blocks to assist teachers at St. Georges
School. During these blocks, I spent my time teaching in the Physical Education Department.
While there, I spent time shadowing two teachers which had very different styles of approaching
teaching. Both these teachers were very well respected by their students and I would consider
them both positive role models.
The first teacher I worked with had a more stern approach than the others when dealing
with the children. He would lay down the rules and ensure that all the students followed. He
created an environment where there was a definite gap between leader and followers. If anyone
did not follow instruction there was always punishment for misbehaving. There was an
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understanding within his class that there were things that needed to be accomplished every PE
class and for whatever reason they weren't then there were repercussions.
The other teacher that I helped out took a far more laid back approach to teaching the
children in his class. In his class, he was always joking around with his students. Instead of just
teaching, he would join in on the activities and compete against the students. His teaching style
was far less about a teacher and students, as he took on more a mutual relationship. Within his
class there were no real repercussions for goofing around, he would just make it into more or less
a joke for the students to laugh at. Although, he did not have a stern rules set out as the other
teacher, his classes still ran smoothly and accomplished what he set out to do every day.
Both of these teaching styles were far different than the others, but they both worked very
well. There was a level of respect that the teachers received from their students in both cases and
they both set out to do what they wanted accomplished. This showed me that as a leader or role
model in order to gain respect from your students or mentees you must stay consistent with your
behaviour. If either of them suddenly changed how they approached their classes, I don't think it
would have gone over very well with the dynamics of their classes. If one’s approach is to be
friendly and laid back, then you must stay true to that philosophy because switching to a stern
stance may not come across as genuine and therefore likely will not be effective.
The Importance of Connection
During the past year I have become a Mentor through the Big Brother Mentorship
Program. Every week I spend an hour with a student at a local school in Squamish. We spend
most of our time playing games and talking about how he is doing. This experience has been
quite beneficial to me as a role model. When I first started meeting with him he was very shy to
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tell me anything because we had not yet built a relationship to where he felt he could open up to
me. I originally started out by asking him some questions about his family and what was going
on in his life. He would constantly reply with one word answers, and then we would just
continue participating with the activity or game that we were doing. Eventually he started
opening up to me a bit and I began to notice that he lacked in self-confidence. When he would
beat me at a game he showed no difference in emotion from the times he lost. This led me to
believe that he was really shy and was having trouble opening up emotionally. In order for him
to benefit from our relationship he needed to be more comfortable with our relationship and learn
to trust me.
When we first started meeting we would always play a form of frisbee golf outside, and
my little brother didn't show much confidence. We would take turns choosing a target to throw
our frisbees at. The objective of the game was to hit the target in the least amount of throws
possible. We showed a similar skill set when playing the game. He beat me a few times and
remained somber. I asked him why he wasn’t confident with his abilities in the game when it was
clear that he could succeed. I also encouraged him to be more vocal and competitive while
playing the game in hopes to spark some emotion. After a few more rounds, he started to joke
about my skills, letting me know in a friendly, competitive way that he was a much better frisbee
golfer. It was remarkable to see his inner strength growing. This was a big moment of growth in
our relationship and I felt like he was finally becoming more comfortable, beginning to trust me
and that in time he would eventually open up.
The next week when we met we played the board game, ‘Sorry!’ I immediately noticed a
big change in him and his confidence level. Building off our meeting from the previous week,
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he was far more self-assured with me. This time instead of me asking him questions he was
asking me questions about my life. This time when he beat me he started his competitive banter
again and I was really pleased to hear it. This experience showed me that in any role modelling
relationship there must also be a level of confidence, comfort and trust between the role model
and mentee before the relationship can truly develop. When we meet today we are more
comfortable with each other and I feel that he is benefiting from the experience of having me as a
role model.
The Importance of having friends as role models
When I first came to Quest I had already developed a good understanding of the
dedication needed in training outside of the practice to be a successful varsity athlete, so I
decided to help any teammates out that needed it. I would train in the weight room four to five
times a week in order to be strong enough to be a productive player on game day. After our first
practice of the year, I gave an open invitation to anyone that might be interested in training with
me. One individual that had no prior experience with weight training accepted the challenge, and
I am very glad he did.
The weight room can be a place a very lonely if you are training by yourself, and having
someone there to make sure you are getting better every day is something that both individuals
can benefit from immensely. For Rick Pitino, peer-driven chemistry is essential to success
(Pitino & Forde, 2008). I was lucky to have such chemistry with my weight training friend. At
first I was very surprised that he continued coming back day after day because I was putting us
both through very difficult workouts, and many that have tried to train with me before have
given up after a only few days. The relationship that we have built because of being training
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partners has been one that I am very grateful to have. It eventually became roommates in years to
come and we are close to being inseparable today around campus. I feel like because we have put
our bodies through hell together while training over the past four years, we have built a
relationship that is unlike other friendships.
Having brought him into the weight room the first week of practice I feel that I have had
a large impact on his life, and mine. Today, we are both on separate schedules, but I still see him
in the weight room training whenever I walk by. He has also decided to relate his Question
around physical fitness and is now training many people around campus for his keystone project.
It’s hard for me to imagine what he would be doing if we I hadn’t ended up meeting him through
basketball. Would he have still chosen to pursue training others in the future? Having this
experience showed me that strong friendships can be built through role modelling, and have a
large impact on what people choose to do with their lives.
Are male role models needed in Elementary schools?
Ever since I have decided to pursue becoming an elementary school teacher almost
everyone I have talked to has encouraged my pursuit as they have voiced my ability to be a
positive role model for children. In western societies, elementary school teacher positions are
overwhelmingly dominated by female teachers, having more than 84.4% female teachers in 2005
(Drudy, 2006). The increasing numbers have turned our schools into feminized institutions
where the needs of boys are not catered to, thus creating a learning gap between boys and girls
and behavioural issues (Cushman, 2008). Having many of youth population growing up with
single female parents and our school dominated by female presence, many of our youth are
growing up without the positive male role models. Therefore, there is no wonder that society is
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calling for more males to become teachers of this age group.
Personally, I never felt like I had a strong role model within my childhood at school.
Thinking back, this may have been because I did not have a male teacher until I was 12 years
old. At this point, I was more or less trying to rebel against school instead of embracing the
teachers who were teaching me, so I was far from being receptive to a positive male presence.
This attitude inevitably was carried along with me into high school where I was not as successful
as I could have been. Having to deal with the problems that were presented at my home played a
large role in not allowing me to fully grasp learning at this time. Parsons (2003) found that
children with parents who are alcoholics are far more susceptible to repeating a grade, or
dropping out of school because they have a hard time studying at home, and struggle building
relationships with teachers and students. This was true in my case, as I rebelled against teachers,
and eventually dropped out because school was too overwhelming for me.
Remembering back on the struggles that I experienced within my school days as a youth,
has led me to believe that maybe if I had a strong role model as an elementary school teacher I
could have avoided my initial rebelling against school. However, I am in favour of a push by
school boards to try and equalize the ratio of male to female teachers. I believe that candidates
must first be as qualified as their female counterparts and also show qualities of being the “right
type of man” (Jones, 2003). Jones (2003) found that male elementary school teacher need to be
the “right type of man,” which is having a blend of both macho and nurturing characteristic in
order to be successful role models for the youth and promote positive development. Therefore,
hiring any man because the ratios of teachers is highly swayed towards females would be
defeating the purpose of the reason that we need more male teachers, which is by engaging
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young males with proper role models of the same gender. If this is achieved we may start to see
the learning gap between boys and girls begin to equalize and many of the behavioural issues
eliminate themselves.
The Importance of Positive Role Models for Youth
Role models can present themselves from many different aspects of life. Coaches,
teachers, parents, celebrities, brother and sisters are all role models. It is in our nature to aspire to
emulate and be guided by admirable individuals, so it is the obligation of those who are in
influential positions to inspire the future generation to become morale, self-assured human
beings. In essence, role models are responsible for guiding the successes and failures of their
protégés: if one individual is given adequate guidance, resources and tools to be successful, they
are considerably more likely to be successful. In contrast, if another is left alone, not given a
chance and discouraged, they are being set up for failure. A role model must look at their
personal self and extrinsic verbal and non-verbal messages, and analyze whether their actions are
beneficial or discouraging. Being a role model is a significant undertaking that will have
significant lasting impacts to the individual or groups we guide and influence; therefore, it is
crucial that the role as a person of influence is taken seriously so that the younger generation is
provided the tools to continue in a positive, dynamic path in life.
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