Vocation: Our Response to God’s Call

Chapter Six

Called to Married Life

A Definition of a Love Relationship;Love is:

a unifying response between two peoplewho care for and have said “yes” to each

other’s total being.It presumes mutual acceptance, of each other,

freedom and trustand it seeks the fulfillment and happiness of the

other as a common goal.

Decide to Care!Agape = “To wish well” – To desire the total

good of others.The core of all love is caring.

To truly love another is to care unselfishly about the other person’s total welfare in the context of that person’s real life circumstances.

Genuine love always desires good and not harm.

Loving is a free decision to care.

The love for equals is a human thing---of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles.

The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing---the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world.

The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing---to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints.

And then there is the love for the enemy---love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured's love for the torturer. This is God's love. It conquers the world.

Source: The Magnificent Defeat

The Four LovesFrederick Buechner

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in

wrongdoings, but rejoices in the truth.It bears all things, believes all things, hopes

all things, endures all things.Love never ends.”

The Shema: Jewish prayer“Hear O’ Israel, the

Lord is our God, the Lord alone.

Therefore, you shall love the Lord your

God with all of your heart, and with all of your soul, and with

all of your strength.”

(Deuteronomy 6:4-5)

The Law of Love“You shall love the Lord your God with all of

your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your mind.

[and]

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37 & 39)

The Corporal Works of Mercy

Feed the hungryGive drink to the thirstyClothe the nakedShelter the homelessVisit the sickRansom the captiveBury the dead

The Spiritual Works of Mercy

Instruct the ignorantCounsel the doubtfulAdmonish the sinnerBear wrongs patientlyForgive offencesComfort the afflictedPray for the living and the dead

Attraction

Infatuation Happens quickly; often one-sided Doesn’t know or want to know the other’s faults Concentrates on:

Physical appearanceSocial or financial status Immediate sexual gratification

Leaves one insecure or in emotional turmoil

Love Develops over time & is mutually supportive Knows the other’s weaknesses & faults and still accepts

them Cares about the inner person & trusts Increases:

Self-confidenceSecurityPeaceStrengthens inner convictions

Stages of LoveResearchers say:

Passion/Slurpee Effect (thanks Steven)!Intimacy & contented attractionCommitment

Generally speakingA mystery that each person experiences

uniquelyThe standard stages orGrow gradually into love without initial

attraction orMay remain a quiet, reassuring friendship or

contentment.

Covenant: Promise of Lasting LoveMarriage is a sacred, solemn promise – a

covenant like the one God made with us.“I will never forsake you.”

Marriage is the couple’s mutual promise of a lifetime of faithful love.Fidelity

The Catholic Church holds that every true marriage is a freely chosen, permanent, sacred covenant.

Marriage Preparation Classes Required!

Marriage Preparation:Something Special & Sacred

Addresses and tries to counter the high divorce rate

More time and $ spent on preparing for the wedding than the marriageWedding is for a dayMarriage is for a lifetime

Catholic Church requires six months of marriage prep classesMore than just a legal contractA covenant – A Sacrament

Marriage Preparation is about increasing healthy communication. Issues to Discuss…CommunicationGoals & PlansReligionMoneySexualityLifestyleRolesHousehold ManagementChildren & Family LifeLeisure Time

Handling ConflictsDecision MakingHandling Relationship

ProblemsFamily Background &

RelativesBeing FaithfulFriendshipsIntimacyIdeals & ExpectationsPersonal Priorities &

Standards

A solemn promise, a sacred covenant, like the one God has made with us.

A bond of unity between one man and one woman, a bond that is of God from the very beginning of creation.

A mutual promise of a lifetime of faithful love, a shared commitment.Fidelity

More than just not committing adultery.

A Covenant of Love

Sacramental MarriageTwo Catholic Christians

Catholic MarriageA Catholic and non-Catholic Christian

Mixed Marriage

Non-Sacramental MarriageA Catholic and non-Christian

Disparity of Cult Marriage

The Church blesses the vows of love in both of these cases and considers each type of marriage to be valid and indissoluble

Types of Marriage Within the Church

SeparationA married couple living apart from each other yet still

being in a legal and maybe Sacramental marriage.Divorce

The ending of a marriage contract by a court of law.This only effects the legal union, not the sacramental

union.Annulment

A decision by the Church that a sacramental marriage never existed in the first place.

A person who has obtained both a legal divorce from the state and a Declaration of Nullity from the Church is permitted to seek a Sacramental marriage in the Church.

Separation, Divorce and Annulment