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Class 5 Notes
Whole Person Posi,ve Psychology Coaching Level One
Class 6 Pre-‐Work
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What We Know: Posi,ve Psychology Research Refresher
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The Importance of Stories
We are story-‐telling creatures, and the primary stories we tell about ourselves form the narra,ve arc of our lives. Aaron Antonovsky demonstrated that a strong sense of narra,ve coherence leads to greater happiness, health, resilience, and mo,va,on to take posi,ve ac,on. Three elements contribute to a strong sense of coherence.
One of our opportuni:es as coaches is to help our clients to find greater comprehensibility, manageability, and meaningfulness in the stories of their lives.
Comprehensibility “I understand what has happened (or is happening) in my life.” “My important life stories make sense to me.”
Manageability “I can cope with what has happened (or is happening) in my life.” “I have, or can access, the resources I need to manage my life.”
Meaningfulness “I have grown or learned (or have the poten:al to) as a result of my experiences.” “The challenges I face are worth addressing.”
What We Know: Posi,ve Psychology Research Refresher
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The Power of Expressive Wri,ng About Our Stories
Stories of Difficult Experiences James Pennybaker For 15 minutes, 4 days in a row, par:cipants wrote about one or more difficult experiences. They were encouraged to really get in touch with their emo:ons and thoughts regarding “what happened, how you felt about it then, and how you feel about it now.” Results: Immediate increase in anxiety, followed by long-‐term decrease in anxiety and improvement in health, happiness, and sociability.
Stories of Peak Experiences Laura King For 15 minutes, 3 days in a row, par:cipants wrote about intense peak posi:ve experiences. They were asked to imagine themselves at a peak moment in their lives and write about the experience in as much detail as possible, trying to include the feelings, thoughts, and emo:ons that were present at that :me, and to really try to re-‐experience the emo:ons. Results: Long-‐term decrease in anxiety and improvement in health and happiness.
As coaches, we can help our clients to reinterpret their stories of difficult experiences in more empowering ways, and to mine their stories of posi,ve experiences for insight and pathways toward the posi:ve changes they seek.
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Encouraging Storytelling
1. Ask: “Tell me your story,” or “Tell me a story about . . . .”
2. Listen, leave some space, then listen some more. 3. If your client is stuck in short answer mode, encourage him or her to get into “short story mode” (Robert Biswas-‐Diener)
• Paint me a picture. What did that look like? • I’m interested in this story. What happened next? • What was that like? • How did it feel?
4. If the story seems to have reached the point of diminishing returns: • I know I asked for details, and I appreciate your giving them, but I want to make the most of
your Ame, so why don’t you tell me what’s most important to you about this story?
Primary Stories Primary stories embody clients’ reasons for seeking coaching.
They are the stories we are told when we ask prospec:ve clients, “Tell me your story.”
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Problem Stories Problem stories are the most common type of primary story in a coaching rela:onship. They are stories of what has gone wrong, where our clients are stuck, or how they are struggling. Over the course of the coaching rela:onship, we can help our clients to explore and interpret their primary problem stories to find:
• Goals for posi:ve change
• A greater sense of coherence • Comprehensibility • Manageability • Meaningfulness
• Normaliza:on (“I’m not the only one.”)
• Insights that can point toward solu:ons
We can o^en also help them to find elements of their best selves in their problem stories.
Aspira,on Stories
When a client’s primary story is a future-‐looking story of change or achievement, we can get right to work on clarifying and progressing toward the goal, a_uned to problem stories if they come up but not insis:ng on them.
Trauma Stories
If a poten:al client’s primary story is one of trauma needing healing, then that is a task be_er suited to a therapeu:c rela:onship than a coaching one. “That’s beyond my scope, but I’d be happy to help you find someone who can help.”
Case Study: Problem Story
My notes:
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Best Self Stories and Effort Stories These are stories we want to ask for throughout the coaching rela:onship.
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Effort Stories We want to ask for these stories at the beginning of every session, to give our clients the opportunity to describe the efforts they’ve made toward their goals of posi:ve change since the last session. It helps to encourage clients to be as concrete and specific as possible about what they did, rather than just repor:ng the results of their efforts. This allows us to acknowledge the effort they made (growth mindset), and to mine the stories for ways to build on what worked and to learn from what didn’t.
Best Self Stories These are stories of what has gone right, when our clients have thrived, when they have felt like their best selves. They are very important stories, and very o^en we have to specifically ask for them, using the techniques of Apprecia:ve Inquiry. We can help our clients to mine their Best Self Stories to achieve:
• Experience of posi:ve emo:ons from which to broaden and build • Desire and goal clarity (“I want it.”) • Self-‐Efficacy (“I can marshal the strengths and resources to do it.”) • Mo:va:on (“I’m willing to do what it takes.”) • Pathways to posi:ve change (“Here’s how I can get from here to there.”)
Dominant Stories Margarita Tarragona: PosiAve IdenAAes
Dominant Stories Dominant stories are a very different kind of story that we tell about ourselves. They are generally implicit, or contained within other stories, and we need to listen for them. A dominant story is a generaliza:on about a person (shy, disorganized, stuck in the past, procras:nator) that the person takes on as an overarching truth about his or her character. They become statements of “who I am” rather than “what I do.” Dominant stories are rooted in a fixed mindset and can be real obstacles to change, as they can serve as “evidence” that it isn’t even worth trying to address certain behaviors, thoughts, or other areas of poten:al change. We can recognize these dominant stories from words or phrases that clients use repeatedly to label themselves, and we can help clients to get beyond them by:
• Poin:ng them out (“I no:ce that you’ve said that about yourself before.”)
• Exploring them (“Do you think that’s a fixed part of your character, or something you have some power over?” “How does your belief about that affect your work, your rela:onships, your self-‐percep:on, your goals?”)
• Asking for and really exploring mul:ple excep:ons (“Can you think of a :me when it isn’t true, or isn’t en:rely true?”).
• Asking the client to imagine an alternate story different from the dominant story (“What would it look like if those excep:ons became more of the rule?”).
• Considering how the alternate story could change what might be possible for the future (“How might that impact your work, your rela:onships, your self-‐percep:on, your goals?”).
• Agreeing on specific ac:ons the client will take that are contrary to the behavior prescribed by the dominant story.
• Consistently asking about and acknowledging the effort involved in gehng beyond the dominant story. 8
Coaching Demonstra,on: Dominant Stories
My notes:
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Journal Reflec,on: Dominant Stories Please complete in advance of your peer prac,ce session
CHOICES AND ACTIONS
COACHING RELATIONSHIP
SELF-‐INQUIRY
Self-‐Inquiry • Observing one’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, and
aspira:ons in a spirit of friendly curiosity and self-‐compassion • Exploring strengths, values, pleasures, and resources • Iden:fying desired changes and crea:ng self-‐concordant goals • Re-‐interpre:ng stories for greater coherence
In this week’s journaling and peer prac:ce, we’re going to explore dominant stories. So have a look back at page 8 to review, then think of a dominant story that you or others tell about you, and reflect on the following ques:ons.
• How does that dominant story affect your life (for example, your work, rela:onships, self-‐percep:on, and/or goals)?
• Can you think of some :mes when that dominant story isn’t true, or isn’t en:rely true?
• Begin to imagine an alternate story different from the dominant story. What would it look like if those excep:ons became more of the rule? Write about whatever comes to mind.
COMPLETE PRIOR TO CLASS 6 (11/12) Es:mated Time: 15 minutes
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Peer Prac,ce Session Dominant Stories
In this session, you and your partner will help each other to further explore the dominant and alternate stories you began to write about in your journal reflec:ons.
• Ask your partner to tell you about his or her dominant story and how it affects his or her life.
• Then ask about excep:ons to that dominant story, and about the alternate story your partner began to imagine.
• Explore that alternate story together. (“What would it look like if that story became the rule rather than the excep:on? How might that impact your work, your rela:onships, your self-‐percep:on, your goals?”).
• If you have :me, agree on one or two ac:ons your partner will take that are contrary to the behavior prescribed by the dominant story.
CHOICES AND ACTIONS
COACHING RELATIONSHIP
SELF-‐INQUIRY
The Coaching Rela,onship • Being known in a rela:onship of ac:ve acceptance,
a_en:ve listening, and genuine empathy • Experience of posi:ve emo:ons • Permission to be human • Grounded posi:vity to enhance hope and self-‐efficacy • Suppor:ve observa:on and challenge
COMPLETE PRIOR TO CLASS 6 (11/12) Es:mated Time: 1 Hour
Choices and Ac,ons • Crea:ng meaning and enjoyment by pursuing self-‐
concordant goals • Envisioning the goal and the path • Commitment, ac:on, and accountability • Experiencing and building on shi^s in self-‐
percep:on
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Partner Coaching Session Feedback Notes
Date: ___________________ My Partner: __________________________
Feedback to My Partner Three things I found helpful 1. 2. 3. Two construc:ve sugges:ons 1. 2.
Feedback from My Partner
Three things my partner found helpful 1. 2. 3. Two construc:ve sugges:ons 1. 2. My reflec:ons on the feedback I received One inten:on for next week’s session
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