Needy Guy Survival Guide

By EG. Boucher

Glossary

1. Date Ideas (1- 5) Expensive (1-2) Inexpensive (3-5)

2. Compliments (6- 13) Short form (6-8) Long form (9-10) Customizable (11-13)

3. To-do and Not-to-do (14-15) Actions (14) Conversation Topics (15)

4. Conflict resolution (16-17) You are to blame 16 He is to blame 17

5. How to maneuver the IMS (18-19)

Date Ideas

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A needy man can always use a cute date with his favourite person. Whether it be expensive or absolutely free, he just wants to spend as much time with you as possible! Here are a few ideas;

Expensive Dates (per couple)Go to a carnival or fair (60$)

Bright colours, loud music and yummy carnival food! Plus, maybe you’ll win a cute stuffy as a memory of your great day!

Make like tourists in your own town (100$)You might think you know everything about Ottawa and what is has to offer, but sometimes riding a tourist bus around town can make you realize there’s so much more here.

Race Go-Karts (110$)Healthy competition, and no speed limit. Take out that anger by flooring that gas pedal and watching his go-kart from the rear-view mirror.

Go Horseback riding (110$) A magical time with wonderful beasts, especially during the winter. Grab some hot chocolate after and you’ll truly feel like you’ve spent the day in a fairy-tale.

Mud run or colour run (140$)Help the community while having fun and getting messy! Or find any other run that you can pair up and tackle together.

Host a dinner party (150$)Maybe your needy man likes to host? If so, let his child come out by having all his closest friends over and letting him treat them to a wonderful night.

Take dancing lessons (170$)Sweaty and sexy, there’s nothing more attractive than a partner that can dance. Learn together!

Pottery classes (170$)Get your hands messy learning something new by attending a pottery workshop! Maybe you’ll even leave with a wonderful creation.

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Wine/Beer tasting tour (200$)Act like classy adults as you taste your regions finest wines or brews, or simply get tipsy together in a new setting.

Concerts (200$)Music makes the world go round. Attend a festival or your favourite artists show as a special treat together.

Go to a planetarium (250$)A quick weekend trip to Toronto can makes a huge difference during stressful times. A trip while looking up at our galaxy? Magical.

Visit the aquarium (260$)Another great getaway to Toronto, but this time take a dive under and visit the mysterious creatures that take up our oceans.

Hit the spa (260$)Want sublime relaxation, without having to go too far? Nordik offers great packages that hold a promise of you leaving happy and calm.

Rent a hotel room for a night (280$)It can be easy to get tired of the same routine and always being in the same place. Sometimes, hitting up Ottawa’s nicest hotel for a night can make you feel pampered without having to do too much.

Road trip 2 nights (500$)A short road trip can be exhilarating. Maybe you’ll love it, maybe you’ll hate it. One thing’s for sure, it will definitely bring your relationship to a new level.

Visit multiple museums in a day (40$ per museum)One museum is nice, but a day full of new random facts and stories?

Take pictures in front of dinosaurs, helicopters and famous paintings, all in one day!

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Inexpensive Dates (Per Couple)Volunteer together (Free)

Collect food for food banks, Serve a meal at a homeless shelter, Read stories to the elderly, Donate blood, Collect toys for kids in need.

Visit a museum (Free)Every museum in Ottawa is free Thursdays after five

Go swimming at a beach (Free)Petrie is an option, but going out can make it feel like a trip and can be better

for your health.

Play some games (Free or 30$)Video games, Charades or even a visit to The Loft.

Stargaze (Free)Backyard, beach or cottage with a stargazing app, a telescope or just a

blanket!

Ottawa dog festival (Free)Ottawa’s first outdoor puppyfest! Participate or just walk around with all the

furry friends.

National Gallery of Art Movie Nights (Free)The National Gallery of Art’s film program provides many opportunities throughout the year to view classic and contemporary cinema from around the world.

Take a nature walk (Free)Boggs, Parc de la Gatineau or Rockliffe Park are some of the great scenic

options around Ottawa.

Skating (Free)Skating on the canal is both romantic and fun! Learning together or showing off your skills is a great way to kill a few hours without having to chat too much.

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Feed the ducks (5$)Try feeding a few ducks with some nice fresh bread! If you can’t find the ducks, the stroll along the river or canal looking for them is just as nice.

Fruit picking (10-15$)Raspberries, apples and corn are all fun to pluck off their life source. Bonus is you can look up at that bum while they climb the ladders!

Go to a dinner party (15-30$)Bring a bottle of wine, and forget about all the worries of your day as you get fed and get drunk with friends.

Organize a scavenger hunt (15-30$)Even when it’s not Easter, scavenger hunts are fun. Who knows, maybe you can be the price.

Hit up a karaoke bar (20$)Making fun of each other’s lack of talent is a great way to bring each other

closer. Unless that’s something that hurts your needy man’s feelings, then definitely lie and say he’s amazing!

Visit a jazz club or go to live music (20$)Even if you don’t like jazz, he likes to be seen out with you on his arm. If you don’t want him to whine, just do it and keep in mind that wine pairs well with jazz.

Disposable camera day (20$)Snap some shots of how cute you are as a pair, with or without clothes. Get

them developed and create a cute, or sexy, album together!

Attend a game night at a local bar (20$)Just like the jazz club, but more fun! Playing games together at bars makes your life more exciting in a very simple way.

Go bowling (25$)Always a fun time, even when you suck! You can make a show out of throwing the ball with the main event being that nice squat at the end. Yikes.

Go mini-putting (25$)

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Easy and always nearby, plus it takes forever! Another great way to kill time, and always easy to think of something to talk about with those weird structures around.

Go to a drive in (25$)Two movies in the very nice privacy of your car! No more weird public groping, its all acceptable now. Well, almost.

Picnic at the beach (30$)From making the meal together to actually spending time on the beach, this

fun filled day will be one you’ll do often once you realize how easy it is!

Play bartender (30$)Make drinks for you bae that’ll get him drunk off your talent! Both fun

exciting, this type of night is full of surprises.

See a comedy show (30$)Laughing brings everyone closer!

Go rock climbing (30$)Baby got back.

Cook a meal together (35$)Everyone loves a good meal! Having to work together helps build the relationship, and the nice rewarding food is a good goal.

Morning matinee (40$)Just like a movie night, but during the day! No chatting involved, but you still

get to be close.

Flea market/ Farmers market (40$)It’s always fun to walk around and people watch! Added bonus if you can get a cute new bracelet too, or some juicy strawberries.

Kayaking (50$)Kayak, canoe or paddle boat into the romantic distance. Physical activities are great to do together!

Movie night (50$)Cuddle up together and either rent out a Redbox or watch some Netflix for a cheaper alternative, or go all out and see what’s new in theatres.

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Go camping (50$)Relaxing under the stars, sticky smores fingers and cuddling through the chilly night! Nothing better.

Compliments Whether it be quick and cute, or long and meaningful, your needy

man likes to hear he’s appreciated and desired. Quick compliments are great for keeping up his self-confidence, but after a few weeks he might start to get too used to them and

require some bigger moves!Short Form

I respect youI trust youI value youI believe in youYou make me betterYou make me happyI’m proud of youYou make me laughYour smile is contagious.You look great today.

You're a smart cookie.I bet you make babies smile.You have impeccable manners.I like your style.You have the best laugh.I appreciate you.You are the most perfect you there is.You are enough.You're strong.

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Your perspective is refreshing.You're an awesome friend.You light up the room.You deserve a hug right now.You should be proud of yourself.You're more helpful than you realize.You have a great sense of humor.You've got all the right moves!Is that your picture next to "charming" in the dictionary?Your kindness is a balm to all who encounter it.You're all that and a super-size bag of chips.On a scale from 1 to 10, you're an 11.You are brave.You're even more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside.You have the courage of your convictions.Your eyes are breathtaking.If cartoon bluebirds were real, a bunch of them would be sitting on your shoulders singing right now.You are making a difference.You're like sunshine on a rainy day.You bring out the best in other people.

Your ability to recall random factoids at just the right time is impressive.You're a great listener.How is it that you always look great, even in sweatpants?Everything would be better if more people were like you!I bet you sweat glitter.You were cool way before hipsters were cool.That color is perfect on you.Hanging out with you is always a blast.You always know -- and say -- exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it.You smell really good.You may dance like no one's watching, but everyone's watching because you're an amazing dancer!Being around you makes everything better!When you say, "I meant to do that," I totally believe you.When you're not afraid to be yourself is when you're most incredible.Colors seem brighter when you're around.You're more fun than a ball pit filled with candy. (And seriously, what could be more fun than that?)

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That thing you don't like about yourself is what makes you so interesting.You're wonderful.You have cute elbows. For reals! (You're halfway through the list. Don't stop now! You should be giving at least one awesome compliment every day!)Jokes are funnier when you tell them.You're better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone. With sprinkles.Your bellybutton is kind of adorable.Your hair looks stunning.You're one of a kind!You're inspiring.If you were a box of crayons, you'd be the giant name-brand one with the built-in sharpener.You should be thanked more often. So thank you!!Our community is better because you're in it.Someone is getting through something hard right now because you've got their back. You have the best ideas.You always know how to find that silver lining.Everyone gets knocked down sometimes, but you always get back up and keep going.

You're a candle in the darkness.You're a great example to others.Being around you is like being on a happy little vacation.You always know just what to say.You're always learning new things and trying to better yourself, which is awesome.If someone based an Internet meme on you, it would have impeccable grammar.You could survive a Zombie apocalypse.You're more fun than bubble wrap.When you make a mistake, you fix it.Who raised you? They deserve a medal for a job well done.You're great at figuring stuff out.Your voice is magnificent.The people you love are lucky to have you in their lives.You're like a breath of fresh air.You're gorgeous -- and that's the least interesting thing about you, too.You're so thoughtful.Your creative potential seems limitless.You're irresistible when you blush.Actions speak louder than words, and yours tell an incredible story.

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Somehow you make time stop and fly at the same time.When you make up your mind about something, nothing stands in your way.You seem to really know who you are.Any team would be lucky to have you on it.In high school I bet you were voted "most likely to keep being awesome."I bet you do the crossword puzzle in ink.Babies and small animals probably love you.If you were a scented candle they'd call it Perfectly Imperfect (and it would smell like summer).

There's ordinary, and then there's you.You're someone's reason to smile.You're even better than a unicorn, because you're real.How do you keep being so funny and making everyone laugh?You have a good head on your shoulders.Has anyone ever told you that you have great posture?The way you treasure your loved ones is incredible.You're really something special.You're a gift to those around you.

Long Form

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Long compliments aren’t typically verbal, but rather little actions that remind them you care about them.

Keep some of your partner's favorite snacks and drinks at your place to bust out during impromptu Netflix sessions or random chill time. Leave post-it notes (1-12) into your partner's lunch or tuck them into book. Other spots you can stick them include the bathroom mirror, the car steering wheel, the computer screen, and even the refrigerator. Buy coffee for your partner before he heads off to work and sometimes add in a scone! Tackle your partners to do list to ease his stress a little bit by walking the dog or picking up dinner.Tweet or Facebook message a genuine compliment to your partner to plaster a smile on their face. Maybe include a cute photo!Bring doughnuts (or a healthy treat, like cut-up fruit) to work as a special treat. Write him a letter, a real one, and mail it to him!Buy him a little something you think he would like. Make him a date jar full of date ideas colour coordinated by price (feel free to use the ones in this book!) Knit him a scarf! (Or buy him one)Give him a framed picture of you together.Make a cootie catcher date night (First layer is part 1 and second layer is part 2) “Open When” letters to encourage him during those timesMake him some caramel and chocolate dipped pretzel rodsCreate some DIY His and Hers coffee mugsGive him a picture of you together in a frame with your song lyrics written all around.Honey lollypops for him to lickSmores kiss cookies for when he gets home

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Hooked on you (Jar of gummy worms with “hooked on you” label)When you’re watching TV together, tell him to sit on the floor in front of the couch, and give him an impromptu massage.Wake him up with a blow jobCompliment him on something you know he’s been working hard at, even if you have to lie a little (e.g. going to the gym a lot, building a bookshelf, a work project).Ask him a fantasy he’s never told anyone, and help him fulfill it.Make breakfast in bed on a random weekday before work.If he’s stressed or has a bunch of work to do at home that night, make him take a twenty minute shower break with youFind a free or cheap used DVD of that old movie he’s always saying he can’t believe you haven’t seen yetSlip a note in his back pocket before he leaves for work, just telling him you hope he has a good dayWash his carBring home a rented movie and takeout that he likes (not necessarily what you like)Surprise him by taking him out for lunchMake his favorite cookies so they’re warm when he gets home.Bring him home his favorite frozen treatMeet him with a hug and kiss. Let him know you’re glad he’s home.

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Customizable Make sure you add “because” to a few compliments so he doesn’t

think you’re getting them out of a book, even if you are!I respect you

You become a better version of yourself every time I see you. It took a lot of courage to admit you were wrong/apologize/have that

tough conversation back there… I really admire that you were able to do that. It was very attractive.

I love how forgiving you are with those closest to you. It took a lot of strength to be the bigger man back there and you couldn’t have done any better.

I love how considerate/caring you are with my friends/parents/co-workers. You are so aware of other people and I really appreciate it.

Your perspective is refreshing. Thank you Thank you for making so many ordinary moments, extraordinary. Thank you for always giving me the extra push I need. Thank you for talking things out with me Thank you for meeting me halfway Thank you for thinking of me as often as you do. Thank you for being there through good times and bad. Thank you for knowing that I can’t always be strong Thank you for making me feel comfortable in my skin. Thank you for simply enjoying my company Thank you for not holding my unchangeable past against me

I trust you because you are there for me whenever I need you because you are open and honest with me because I feel safe when I am with you because you never try to hide anything because you have not kept me a secret

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because you never disappear because you are consistent because you always back up your words with actions because you trust me because you have never given me a reason not to

I value you I can always count on you for the best advice I love that you accept me with my flaws but encourage me to be better Your opinion matters to me You the person I think of first when something good happens. I want to

share those moments with you and look forward to your reaction. When you encourage me and believe in me, it makes an enormous

difference and motivates me.I believe in you:

I love how driven you are. Whatever you put your mind to, I know you’ll be able to achieve it. You

always have. Of course people want to work with you/for you… people trust you and

your abilities. As they should. You’re amazing at what you do. Of course you got a raise/that new job. You’re talented, hard working,

and everyone knows it. I’m so proud of you. You’ve accomplished so much in your life already. I’m sure you’ll

continue to go on to do many more great things. You’ll make the most of any situation that comes your way.

You have such vision for what you want in your future. I admire that you are working so hard to make it a reality.

You are one of the smartest people I’ve ever metYou are a good friend

I’ve never felt more safe and comfortable around any other person. I love being in your presence.

Someone is getting through something hard right now because you've got their back.

The people you love are lucky to have you in their livesYou are a good listener

Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate you letting me vent.

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I noticed that you did (this) for me. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I really appreciate it. You’re very sweet with me and I love it.

I feel like I can be completely open with you

You make me better I feel like I can accomplish so much more in my life because I have you

as a safety net. I always feel supported by you and it means so much to me.

You always encourage me to be the best version of myself You’ve influenced me to prioritize my health more You’ve influenced me to be more introspective / I’ve become so much

more aware of what drives me in life since we’ve been together. You make me want to work harder to accomplish my goals

You make me happy You always know how to make me smile. Somehow you make time stop and fly at the same time.

I’m proud of you You're a great example to others. You always find a way to persevere, even though the circumstances

are difficultYou make me laugh

I love your sense of humour You make me laugh so much my face hurts I love that we can joke about stuff like this I laugh harder with you than just about anybody

You look handsome I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms. You look so handsome in that suit/tie/outfit! You look extra manly today. I like it.

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To-do and Not-to-doKnowing what to do and what not to do with a needy man is

tricky. They sometimes seem to flip flop as well, so how can we be expected to? Here are a few guidelines.

DOTalk about your dayAsk about his dayBe silly together

Establish boundariesSnuggle

Be honestEncourage each other

Sweat togetherHang out together in a group

Be willing to compromiseComplement each other

Burn the “blueprint” you have set up for a relationship

Forgive and forgetBe a good teammate

Grow togetherAdapt

Admit that you are wrong

Celebrate accomplishmentsSurprise one another

Appreciate the little thingsEducate yourself on things that

interest himRespect each other’s friends

Know when to keep your mouth shutMaintain good hygiene

Take the relationship one step at a time

DON’THave subtext

Call him stupid. Ever.Be petty

Take everything to heartCriticize

Keep scoreKeep secrets

Hold his pat against himFocus on flaws

Actions

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Expect backTake the other for granted

Try to “fix” himTalk when you should be listening

Rebound onto a needy manFlirt “innocently” with other menDress sexy when he’s not around

Stay friends with someone who’s in love with you

Try to control themTalk about your issues with friends

before himPlay games

Get lazyBody shame

Invalidate his anger or feelingsInterrupt

Hide the relationship

Conversation Topics

DoAsk for advice

Talk about his dayHis passion and hobbies

His ambitionsNaughty things

His friendsSportsMoviesFood

DreamsChildhood stories

Fear and insecurities“Firsts” stories

Best pranks you’ve pulled

Role models

Don’tSay his ex is a total bitch

Mention the penis size of anyone he knows

Mention which of your friends you think is attractive

Obsess over your flaws and ask him about them

Mention past sexual partnersMention hate towards an ex. Hate

is a strong feelingMention that his parents were right

and he wasn’tBring up his financial struggles

GossipCompare him to exes

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“We need to talk” “I’ve trained you well”

Conflict ResolutionFights are tiring for everyone. Sometimes there’s so many, they

just start to feel pointless. Here is how to fix them, even when you aren’t to blame.

When he is to blameWhen you’re having a fight with your needy man and he is to blame but you just want to get over the fight, the first step is to swallow your pride. I know it sucks, but you have to just accept that he will not see the situation like you do and, even though you are right, you must fake it till you make it. Decide if you have a problem, or just a differencePick the right time to have a proper conversation, not when you are still fumed. Describe what the problem is in a few words, and then let your partner respond. Listen to what they have to say, and try to understand their ridiculous point of view. Try and identify if there are deeper problems that need to be addressedTry and create a solution in which both partners win in some way. If that is impossible, let him win.Accept that he was wrong and move on. Do not hold this against him.

When you are to blame

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Getting over a fight when you are to blame is much harder since it is not all in your hands. You must do everything you can to suck up to your needy man. It sucks, but it’s less tiring than having to bicker back and forth. Decide if you have a problem, or just a difference.Pick the right time to have a proper conversation, not when he is still fumed. ApologizeExplain to your partner what your point of view was, in hopes of having them understand. If this does not work right away, do not let it escalate and simply ask them to explain their point of view and listen to what they have to say.Accept that you were wrong and apologize again for your mistakes.

General Conflict Resolution Tips

Do not yellAlways start and end the conversation by affirming that you care about the

other personBe open to the idea that you made a mistake even if you are sure you did

notDon’t speak in generalities of another person’s behaviour; speak only to

direct examples an instances of action

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Always work to be the first to apologize when any dispute arisesFocus on trying to discover what’s right, not who is right

Do not cussNo name-calling

Remind yourself the other person also cares about reconciling the relationship

Remind yourself to never expect the other person to fill a hole in your life

How to Handle IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome)What is IMS

Irritable male syndrome (IMS) can be defined as a state of hypersensitivity, frustration, anxiety, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with

biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity.

How to tell if your needy man has IMSYour need man might have IMS if he is experiencing;

Social withdrawalIncreased AngerHypersensitivity

IrritabilityAnxiety

Mood swingsDepression

Lack of libidoHot flashes

Head and back achesSarcastic Tendencies

TensenessArgumentative Spurts

Frustration

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Increase in NeedinessSadness

ImpatienceHostile Behaviour

Unloving HabitsWithdrawn Emotionally

Defensiveness

How to treat IMS Hormone testing is a good approach to treating IMS, though there are less invasive methods. Changing nutrition and exercise are a great way to treat

the syndrome.

More personalized ways to pep up your needy man follow;Make him feel wanted

Your needy man will get a kick in his step when he’s reminded that you want him in every way he can offer.

Listen Even if what he has to say sounds weak and pitiful, remember that once he is out of this funk he will become desirable again.

Be positivePositivity is key. Your needy man also needs to be reminded that it’s not all downhill from here and his problems will be solved eventually.

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Be affectionate Give him the love and attention your needy man requires. Hard times

require more love. Flirt

Making him feel desired in a fun way might get him to respond better!Be romantic

Romance is medicine for a needy man going through a rough time. They strive off of emotional dependence and affirmations.

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Good Luck