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Copywriting Guidelines for external publications Pare every sentence to the bone, taking out every redundant word, so that only the message remains, gleaming like a medal in a velvet-lined box. Nigel Graber, award-winning copywriter Mightierthan.com, Copywriting that means business

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Copywriting Guidelines

for external publications

Pare every sentence to the bone, taking out every redundant word, so that only the message remains, gleaming like a medal in a velvet-lined box.

Nigel Graber, award-winning copywriter

Mightierthan.com, Copywriting that means business

Corporate Relations

Design and Publications

2009–2010 edition

At a glance

· Provoking a reaction

– page 3

Our key values

Avoid offending

· Don’t say you’re funny: tell a joke

– page 3

Demonstrating the point

Copy that ticks all the boxes

· Be clear and direct

– page 4

Clear, concise and Confident

· Write short, simple sentences

– page 4

Complicated sentences and Plain English

· Hyperbole – avoid over-exaggeration

– page 6

Adjectives and superlatives

· Cut! – remove those very unnecessary words

– page 6

· Avoid stating the obvious

– page 7

· Keep active

– page 7

The active and passive voice explained

· Avoiding clichés

– page 9

Cliches explained

Cliches in use

· Be specific

– page 10

· Prove what you say

– page 10

Substantiate your claims

· Our glorious heritage

– page 10

Bring the past into the present

· Tone of voice

– page 11

Jargon and acronyms

Polite and personal

Tips

· Structure

– page 12· Breaking up the text

– page 13· Duty and responsibility

– page 13· University house style

– page 15House Syle Guide

Note about the word marque· What makes Birmingham different?

– page 16

· Further information and resources

– page 17· Feedback notice

– page 20Provoking a reactionThe key idea for the University image is provoke: provoking thought and action, provoking debate and change. This is expressed through our four key values:

1.Encouraging inquiry

2.Shaping thoughts and opinions through debate

3.Challenging convention

4.Making an impact

In keeping with this, our communications should provoke a reaction. We can use the four values to assess their effectiveness. How well do they:

· Excite curiosity and encourage people to look into the subject in more detail?

· Stimulate discussion and debate?

· Challenge conventional thinking or approaches?

· Spur people to do something in response?

Avoid offending

There is a difference between ‘provoking’ a reaction and causing offense. Always check that your text is inclusive and equal to all; that it does not use inappropriate and disrespectful language in relation to gender, race or ethnicity, sexuality, religion or faith, age, social class or disability.

Don’t say you’re funny: tell a jokeRather than telling people that the University of Birmingham ‘provokes’– provide an example that demonstrates the point; such as –

‘Forget comfortable structures…your competitor today will be your partner tomorrow. Business will be more like an amoeba – sticking together when it works, breaking up when it doesn’t.’ Professor Leslie de Chernatony, Professor of Brand Marketing

The opening statement of your copy can have the same effect by being:

· Contentious – something controversial will provoke thought and debate

· Unconventional – something out of the ordinary will add the element of surprise

· Intriguing – something new or fascinating will inspire curiosity

Here is a piece of University text that ticks all the boxes:

‘Why are you sitting comfortably? The main component of you and your chair is empty space. With only one part in 1015 containing matter, it is remarkable that the chair and your body are distinguishable’.

Undergraduate Prospectus 2009 – Physics degrees

This immediately opens a debate with and challenges the reader. The tone of voice is demonstrated rather than stated.

Be clear and direct

Your text should be:

· Clear – your meaning is unmistakable and easily understood by the reader

· Concise – you only need a few words to get your point across

· Confident – you are certain that what you are saying is true

Write short, simple sentences

Long and complicated sentences can be difficult to understand in printed documents and this effect is increased on the web. Here are three examples from the Plain English Campaign (www.plainenglish.co.uk), the organisation who champion the use of crystal-clear communication:

‘Seasonal forecasts indicate how slowly-varying large-scale climate influences make particular seasonal conditions more likely than others. Random, unpredictable factors (‘chaos’) also partly determine year-to-year variations, and these will sometimes override large-scale influences. Such uncertainties make a probabilistic format, as used here, advisable for seasonal forecasts.'

In other words: We can’t predict what the weather will be like.

‘High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing learning process.’

In other words: Children need good schools if they are to learn properly.

‘If there are any points on which you require explanation or further particulars we shall be glad to furnish such additional details as may be required by telephone.’

In other words: If you have any questions, please phone.

Here is another mouthful of nonsense with a more palatable translation:

‘I utilised a multitined tool to process a starch resource’

In other words: I used my fork to eat a potato

Source: Scott Adams, creator of The Dilbert Principle (http://www.dilbert.com) a satirical take on the corporate world

By way of further example, here, are alternative ways of introducing the University’s Ironbridge Institute:

Introduction 1: Whilst the Ironbridge Institute, set in the famous Ironbridge Gorge, which is a world heritage site, may only be 30 miles from the University’s Edgbaston campus, through attractive countryside, it feels a world away from cosmopolitan Birmingham.

Introduction 2: Ironbridge is a world heritage site and the location of the University’s Ironbridge Institute. Only 30 miles from the University and the city, this is a tranquil area of great natural beauty.

Too many clauses or sub-clauses (introduction 1) obscure the meaning of the sentence. If the sentence structure is limited to two or three clauses (introduction 2), the reader will move through the text more swiftly. They will also retain more information.

The average sentence length should be between 15 and 20 words. For variety you will want to include sentences that are longer and shorter than this, but we recommend this as an average.

Simple sentences aid clarity and will appeal to more groups within your target audience than over-elaborate sentence structures. Avoid using the double negative: for example, say a welcome addition to the University rather than a not unwelcome addition to the University. While such structures can be very effective in creative writing, they can be confusing in a publication such as an undergraduate prospectus, especially for readers whose first language may not be English.

Long paragraphs can similarly confuse the reader and obscure meaning. When aiming to communicate messages clearly and simply, paragraphs should not exceed more than four sentences.

Hyperbole – avoid over-exaggeration

Naturally, you are very proud of the University and want to tell everyone how wonderful we are. This is when you are vulnerable to attacks of hyperbole, or runaway enthusiasm and over-exaggeration – ‘the University of Birmingham is the best place to be in the entire Universe!’. Well, perhaps you wouldn’t go that far, but you might go this far:

‘This world-leading university offers excellent teaching from well-renowned staff who are global experts in their field, carrying out cutting-edge research within a beautiful campus.’

On its own, this sentence does not contain any meaningful information and raises a number of additional questions in the reader’s mind;

· In what way is Birmingham a world leading university?

· In what way is the teaching excellent and is it ‘more excellent’ than at competitor institutions?

· Who are these global experts and what have they done?

· What is the nature of this cutting-edge research?

· Is the campus more beautiful than any other?

Hopefully you know the answers to these questions – but if we make these claims then we must be able to support them (see Prove what you say on page XX). Over-use of adjectives (a word that describes or qualifies a noun or pronoun) and superlatives (a word expressing the highest degree of comparison), reduces the credibility of the sentence. If adjectives are restricted to only one or two per sentence (maximum) the text becomes more informative and credible, inspiring trust and confidence.

Cut! – remove those very unnecessary words

Readers need to grasp your message as quickly and effectively as possible. Words that do not increase their understanding or add to the meaning of the text should be deleted. Take the heading of this section, for example: ‘Cut! – remove those very unnecessary words’; we could do just that until it becomes Cut unnecessary words.

More examples

There is no significant difference in meaning between the longer versions (a) and cut versions (b) of these sentences:

(a) It is usually the case that the University closes during the Christmas period (b) The University usually closes during the Christmas period

(a) The University always extends a very warm welcome to international students from across the globe

(b) The University extends a warm welcome to international students or evenThe University welcomes international students

(a) Sport contributes to academic life and this is very much the case at Birmingham

(b) Sport is central to life at Birmingham.

Over-use of words such as ‘more’, ‘most’, ‘more and more’, ‘very’, ‘very much’ to create emphasis reduces the confidence of the tone of voice. Question whether they are needed at all. Read and re-read text to ensure that every word and every sentence are needed.

Avoid stating the obvious

The front cover of your leaflet is emboldened with ‘University of Birmingham: College of Enlightenment and Metaphysics: School of Paracryptozoology: MSc programmes’ and your first paragraph inside the leaflet begins ‘This leaflet has been designed to provide you with information about MSc programmes of study in the School of Paracryptozoology in the College of Enlightenment and Metaphysics at the University of Birmingham’. Why? None of this information needs to appear in a recruitment leaflet; it’s obvious. If the words add nothing new, delete them.

Keep active

It is better to use the active voice when writing for University publications rather than the passive voice. Here is a choice explanation of the difference between the two styles of writing:

‘A sentence written in the active voice is the straight-shooting sheriff who faces the gunslinger proudly and fearlessly. It is honest, straightforward; you know where you stand. A sentence written in the passive voice is the shifty desperado who tries to win the gunfight by shooting the sheriff in the back, stealing his horse, and sneaking out of town.’ (Source: Sherry Roberts: The Roberts Group, 1992, http://www.editorialservice.com/11ways.html)

Readers understand the meaning of active sentences more quickly than passive ones because the agent (that is ‘the doer’ or subject of the sentence) comes before the verb (the action).

Examples

Active: I read the booklet on Original Thinking

Passive: The booklet on Original Thinking was read by me

Active: The Vice-Chancellor welcomed the students

Passive: The students were welcomed by the Vice-Chancellor

Active: The Careers Centre provides a drop-in service

Passive: A drop-in service is provided by the Career’s Centre

Active: The main campus is located in Edgbaston

Passive: Edgbaston is the location of the main campus

We recommend that you use the active rather than passive voice unless there is a good reason not to do so, as in the following hypothetical case where the more apologetic tone of the passive voice reduces the impact of what is being said:

Passive: A mistake was made by the University in charging the wrong fees for its MSc in Paracryptozoology.

Here, passive writing helps the writer avoid responsibility and remain anonymous, whereas the stronger active alternative leaves no room for doubt .

Active: The University made a mistake in charging the wrong fees for its MSc in Paracryptozoology .

Use your judgment.

Avoiding clichés

Clichés were originally intended to provide us with ready-made, memorable words and phrases to save the bother (the perspiration) of having to come up with something original (the inspiration) every time we need to produce engaging text. Over the years, these words and phrases have been overused to the extent that most people know them well and can predict what is coming next.

‘Many a shining phrase became dull through over-exposure and instead of slotting into place with a crisp click landed with the dull and stultifying thump of inevitability.’

(Source: Munro: Clichés and How to Avoid Them; Chambers, 2005, p.3)

Cliché-ridden text suggests that the writer is indolent and lacking in original thought and ideas; surely the antithesis of what the University stands for.

Here are some examples of clichés you might be tempted to use:

acid test

address the issue

all things considered

ballpark figure

behind the scenes

chain reaction

deliver best practice

each and every

experts agree

from start to finish

golden opportunity

hidden agenda

in the final analysis

jewel in the crown

keep you posted

leading light

magnum opus

needless to say

on a daily basis

put on the back burner

quantum leap

run of the mill

safe and sound

second to none

state-of-the-art

take on board

terra firma

too numerous to mention

up and running

vast majority

well and truly

when all is said and done

year-in, year-out

Here are a dozen of them in use:

Now that our magnum opus programme is up and running, the School of Paracryptozoology has state-of-the-art facilities that are second to none. Each and every student has access to these on a daily basis. Needless to say, the benefits of joining one of our research teams are too numerous to mention, but you can be assured that from start to finish, we will deliver best practice, so that you can make the most of your golden opportunity. You will be well and truly looked after on a campus that is the jewel in our crown, where you will be safe and sound. Don’t put your decision to join us on the back burner; take that quantum leap now and prove that you are not just a run of the mill student.

Whenever you are tempted to use a stock phrase, question what it means. Consider re-working your text, either to explain the idea more clearly or use more interesting language.

Be specific

Try to be specific, as provable examples are preferable to general statements (Refer back to Hyperbole and see the following section).

Prove what you say

Whenever claims are made to promote the University, evidence needs to be provided that will validate the claim. ‘Provoke’ is not an excuse to make unfounded, sensational statements. However strong our statements may be, they must always be proven; either within the sentence, in the text that follows, pictorially, with data or through a quotation.

Example – ‘The University was founded on a most radical vision.’

We need to substantiate this claim with further evidence:

‘The University grew out of the radical vision of our first Chancellor, Joseph Chamberlain, to create a new model for higher education. Founded in 1900, Birmingham broke away from the Oxford and Cambridge collegiate system to become England’s first modern university.’

Each claim need not be substantiated in the same way. But unless we can prove that ‘We provide a teaching experience unparalleled in the UK’, we cannot claim it.

Note: Any claim we make can be challenged by students, the general public, HE councils and other bodies, other HE institutions, and the Education Media. If it appears in print or on our website, it had better be accurate, true and provable. If there is any doubt, don’t say it.

Our glorious heritage

The University is proud of its history, but the value of our heritage is measured by how it benefits the institution today. Previously, our heritage was portrayed as a benefit in itself. This often overshadowed our contemporary achievements, which needed to be addressed.

We recommend that facts of history are not used in isolation, but only where they provide context or validation for current or future activities.

Example

Rather than a statement such as: ‘The University was founded 104 years ago, and boasts a long tradition of excellence’, we need to be more specific about what this means and how it might be valuable to the reader, as follows:

‘With over 100 years of research activity and teaching experience, contemporary research activity ranks Birmingham in the top five institutions in the UK for research excellence. Our research into pioneering learning techniques benefits our students and staff and informs the development of University learning facilities.’

Tone of voice

Your tone of voice will change according to two elements:

1. the audience you are addressing

2. the purpose of the document

For the purposes of recruitment literature, the tone should be informal, but not casual. The language should be intelligent but not arrogant or pompous.

Jargon and acronyms

You can sound unnecessarily arrogant and alienate your reader by using jargon, suggesting that you expect them to know as much about the subject as you do. The use of jargon (specialist language) is only appropriate if you are confident that your reader will easily understand it.

Be cautious also of using phrases and acronyms such as ‘RAE’, that might be very familiar to you but not necessarily to your reader. Question whether your reader will understand them; or are they likely to google RAE where they discover that it can mean Royal Academy of Engineering, Revolution Against Evolution, Real Academia Española, or Research Assessment Exercise. If you make your reader feel inferior, or make them struggle to fill in the gaps in information, they will stop reading.

This does not mean that you cannot use jargon and acronyms; just be aware of why you are using them, and that they are entirely appropriate for your target audience. If you do want to use acronyms to save space, make sure that you have written it in full the first time of using, so your reader has a reference point.

Polite and personal

The terms you and we are the preferred form for addressing the reader. They create a welcoming and engaging tone of voice without becoming patronising. There may be certain formal publications where this is not appropriate, but these are likely to be in the minority.

Tips

· Always write with your audience in mind

· Communicate with them from one human being to another

· Write for them and to them

· Treat your reader with respect

· Read what you have written from their point of view

Structure

The combination of ‘provoke and proven’ provides a starting point for structuring your text. Ask yourself three questions before you start to write:

1. Have I got something provoking to say?

2. Have I got the facts to back it up?

3. Can I make it relevant to my reader and prompt them to act?

If you answer ‘yes’ to each question, you can begin.

Start your piece with something arresting – the challenging statement suggested in point 1. This will need to be substantiated (point 3) and then expanded on in the information that follows.

You close with a ‘call to action’. This is a final paragraph that lets the reader know how they can continue the conversation – who do they call, where can they get more information, is there something more specific you would like them to do?

Breaking up the text

You can take your reader on an easy journey through your text by employing a few simple devices:

· Paragraphs – start a new paragraph as often as possible to present your reader with manageable chunks of text rather than weight blocks of it

· Bullets and lists – bullets draw attention to a particular piece of text and are great for lists (modules within a programme) and outlining the steps in a process (how to apply for a course)

· Headings and subheadings – an intriguing main heading will grab your reader’s attention; then help them along by using mini-headings to break up the copy

· Artwork – liven up your copy with photographs, drawings, inset quotes, tables and anything else you can use by way of illustration

Duty and responsibility

When you write for University printed or online publications, you take on certain duties and responsibilities to ensure that you comply with legal requirements currently placed on higher education institutions. This will have an impact on your tone of voice, style of writing, the information you are required to give and the visual material you use to enhance your copy. Much of this falls under the heading of ‘good practice’ anyway, and experienced copywriters will automatically pay attention to such detail.

Material must be anti-discriminatory

Everyone at this university has a legal duty not to discriminate against students (or fellow staff) on the grounds of race, gender, disability, age, religion, sexual orientation or belief.

You can discriminate by not including, or not paying attention to the needs of all categories of people within these groups. Be aware, for example, that if you refer to ‘the Christmas break’, that people of other faiths may have a different festive calendar to adhere to. They may require days off (including exam days) that are not part of the University’s usual closed days and holidays; you will need to make provision for this and explain what that provision is.

Positive duty

As a higher education institution in the public sector, we have an additional responsibility which places a ‘positive duty’ on the University to promote race, gender and disability equality. You do this in copywriting by including information that shows an inherent understanding of the needs of all groups and by welcoming diversity. You might, for example, say: ‘The School welcomes students from a variety of backgrounds and with a range of abilities and disabilities’.

New inclusions

The new Equality Bill (April 2009) extends this ‘positive duty’ to include age, sexuality, religion or belief, and socio-economic status. You might, therefore, need to make explicit that: ‘The School welcomes students of all ages from a variety of faith, cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, and with a range of abilities and disabilities’.

The Bill is likely to receive Royal Assent in the spring of 2010. You can find out more information about the Equality Bill on the Government Equalities Office website at: http://www.equalities.gov.uk/equality_bill.aspx

Images

Any photographic or graphic images you use within your publications should also pay ettention to equality and diversity issues by including representatives from as many of the named groups as possible. At least make sure that not everyone in your photographs is young, good-looking and able-bodied.

Find out more

See the ‘Useful information and resources’ section on page XX. We also produce a checklist to help you measure the effectiveness of your publicity material.

University house style

‘A publisher’s house style embodies their stated preference for how copy is produced and set; this allows the efficient output of texts that are as internally consistent and error-free as possible.’ Oxford Style Manual. Ed. R M Ritter, Oxford University Press (2003), p.43.

A separate University House Style Guide for printed material is available. The guide is designed to complement other elements of the University’s brand, and to be used in conjunction with these copywriting guidelines. It reflects modern practice and ensures our external publications are accessible to a wide range of audiences. It covers the key areas of grammar and usage where standardisation is desirable as part of the University’s corporate identity.

Online Communications also have a compatible house style guide for our online content to use when writing for the University website. See the section on ‘Useful information and resources’ on page XX.

Note about the word marque

The definite article ‘The’ has been dropped from the word marque of the University, which now reads University of Birmingham. However, in the general run of text the definite article should still be used but with a lower case letter t. For example: For 2010, tuition fees at the University of Birmingham will be…

Within University of Birmingham publications or web pages, the shortened versions the University or Birmingham can be used.

What makes Birmingham different?

Always ask yourself this question. Why? Because every UK university, according to its own publicity, has a safe and idyllic campus with wonderful facilities in a fantastic location; conducts groundbreaking research (having the best staff in the country), and does extremely well in the latest RAE and league tables. So, which of these six statements belongs to us?

a) We are proud of our reputation for innovative, proactive relationships with industry and the public services that makes us not just a centre for academic excellence, but also a force for positive change in the real world.

b) Our work is groundbreaking and diverse. One of our key strengths is bringing together people from different backgrounds, adding fresh perspectives to problem solving. In order to achieve this, we build relationships with partner institutions across the world. To assist collaboration, we constantly invest in cutting-edge technologies.

c) We have always had a reputation for innovation and thinking differently. We were one of the first universities to understand the importance of links with business and industry. We have now built up a network of partnerships and collaborations that benefit all students...Our degrees prepare students for work in the 21st century by emphasising the development of those skills demanded by today’s employers.

d) Research combines creative thinking with practical application. Our partnerships with industry, government and the public sector ensure that our research contributes to developments on a regional, national and international level. Groundbreaking research also drives our teaching forward.

e) The University is a dynamic, twenty-first-century institution, founded on a tradition of academic excellence, which spans more than a century. Our postgraduate students pioneer new ways of thinking, and leave the University ideally equipped to make an invaluable impact in their future careers, research and daily life.

f) A research-active university, we have a distinguished reputation for providing outstanding education as well as a rich social experience for our students... A number of recent developments are helping to consolidate our worldwide academic reputation.

The answer is d); the others belong to a) Manchester, b) Sheffield, c) Warwick, e) Nottingham, and f) Hull.

It is almost tempting to coin the phrase ‘Unispeak’ because the phrases appear so similar in style, tone and word choice. If we really want to stand out from the crowd, we need to say something new, or find new ways of saying it. As a copywriter, it is your job to do just that.Useful information and resources

University PDF documents

Design and Publications produce the following:

· Copywriting Guidelines (complete version)

· Copywriting Guidelines (summary document)

· House Style Guide (complete version)

· House Style Guide (summary document)

· Checklist for assessing publicity material

Dictionary and thesaurus

Every copywriter needs a good dictionary and thesaurus. Using them on a regular basis will improve your copywriting skills. Which publisher you choose is up to you, but we recommend using the Oxford English Dictionary (OUP) and Roget’s Thesaurus (Longman).

Online dictionary and thesaurus

While we recommend that you have hard copies of these available to you, you can also use an online dictionary (http://www.askoxford.com) and thesaurus (http://www.roget.org); make sure that it is UK English usage and not American.

Copy-editing guide

We recommend the following book: Butcher’s copy-editing: The Cambridge Handbook for Editors, Copy-editors and Proofreaders, Fourth Edition; Butcher, Drake and Leach, Cambridge University Press, 2006. Please note, however, that this does not take precedence over the University’s own house style and copywriting guidelines.

Spellcheckers

These will not find all the errors in your copy, so try not to rely on them. If you want proof, key in the boxed text and then do a spell check on it:

They’re know miss steaks in this peace off righting cause we used special soft wear witch checks your spelling. It is mower or lass a weigh too verify. However is can knot correct arrows inn punctuation ore usage: it will not fine words witch are miss used butt spelled rite.

Check out the competition

It is a good idea from time-to-time to take a look at other universy websites to get a feel for how they write to promote themselves. You can always learn from other people’s examples of good practice – and from their mistakes.

Visit the following websites for live A–Z listings of all UK HE institutions linking directly to their web pages:

· UK Universities and University Colleges

http://web.bham.ac.uk/info/ukuwww.html

· Colleges and Universities – United Kingdom http://web.mit.edu/cdemello/www/uk.html

Plain English Campaign

We recommend that you have a look at the Plain English Campaign website and take advantage of their free guides on writing, special subjects and grammar. This is the organisation that specialises in clear communication and campaigns against gobbledygook, jargon and misleading public information. They produce a Plain English magazine, also accessible online, and provide training courses.

http://www.plainenglish.co.uk

Equlaity and diversity issues

Visit the following pages on our website:

· Main Equality and Diversity website

www.equality.bham.ac.uk

· Equality and diversity for staff

www.equality.bham.ac.uk/staff

· Equality and diversity for students

www.equality.bham.ac.uk/students

· Human Resourceswww.hr.bham.ac.uk/equality

You may also like to visit the Equality Challenge Unit website at: http://www.ecu.ac.uk where you will find information relating to the promotion of equality and diversity in higher education.

RNIB ‘See it right’ guidelines

Visit the RNIB website to find information on making your information (text and images) accessible to people with a variety of sight problems.

http://www.rnib.org.uk/professionals/accessibleinformation/Pages/see_it_right.aspx

Writing for the web

Online Communications have produced a house style guide for online content to use when writing for the University website. These guidelines are compatible with the guidelines for printed material and are also available in PDF format. Find them at: https://www.intranet.bham.ac.uk/onlinecomms/housestyle

You might also want to look at W3C (World Wide Web Consortium) Web Content Accessibility Guidelines (WCAG) 2.0 at: http://www.w3.org/TR/WCAG

We are always in the process of reviewing our copywriting and house style guidance with a view to incorporating further advice about writing for University printed and online pubications.

If you have any comments about this or any other guidance notes we have produced, or have suggestions for other writing issues we might cover, please contact us by telephone or email.

We would also be interested to hear how you think we might make this document more user friendly.

Carole Wale Peter Kiddle

Tel: 42582 Tel: 46683

Email: [email protected] [email protected]

This document is available in other formats.

Please contact: details to be added here when available

University of Birmingham

Corporate Relations

Creative Media – Design and Publications

Aston Webb Building

Edgbaston, Birmingham

B15 2TT