8/8/2019 Week Six - Foes of Stagnation

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RADIO FREE RADIO Show Date: 11/02/2010

Mission Statement of the Week 

To convince people that the word ³embedded´ refers to the state of being in a bed.

Occupying our Place of Honor,admiring the almost dwarvenstonework in Throne Room,is VandenPlas, with the song ³Frequency,´ for reasons of playing riffs so muscular, their 

sound waves have biceps.

Recap of Last Week¶s Show

The door to the studio stood no chance against the stallion¶s feisty kick, and the portal flew off its hinges to the sound of splintering wood and Matthew saying that they

will probably have to pay for that.  No matter!was the sentiment behindB.J.¶sbearing, andthe hosts rode into the studio on the backs of their horses, Sparkles and Steve. Nothing

could remain as it was in the studio, declared B.J., for everything ± being inanimate ± seemed tobe merely sitting still, and stagnation was not an option. At the hosts¶ behest

and in order to liven things a little, the horses engaged in a bout of bucking and prancingthat could have been aptly titled ³No Calamity Like Equine Bonanzas,´ which landed

them in front of the microphones. B.J. and Matthew told their steeds to hold position.Sparkles and Steve restlessly kicked about ± lest their blood settle ± and something

immediately felt wrong to the hosts. They sensed they would have to take this edition of their show to more audacious places. The four studs dove for the field broadcast

equipment, thrust it into their satchels, and prepared to set out [meaning they chest- bumped ± ed.]. Sparkles and Steve acted like Bruce Lee for good measure on their way

out, as various these-and-those went clattering to the floor. The foursome gallopedimpressively down narrow hallways, cutting corners like the slyest of slackers, prior to

 bursting into the brisk November air, chests bare, filled with vigor and oxygen. Thehuddle of lively creatures rallied, and set out at full speed across the parking lot, which

was temporarily covered with flint gravel while some repair work was being done (work they approved of ± for industry, Teddy Roosevelt told them in a dream, was the very

lifeblood of society).Leaves, dried out and fallen as winter whispered in November¶sready ear, littered the jagged groundbefore them. The calamity of steel horseshoes

 pounding against flint set the dry leaves ablaze, a fact not unnoticed by the hosts, whothought it was awesome. The terrific sight compelled them to speed and jaunt

aboutfurther, a display that, coupled with the trails of fire, made them look like twoslightly drunkenHorsemen of the Apocalypse.This, in turn, was not unnoticed by vast

swaths of people, who notified the authorities. Law enforcement arrived as the hosts,unaware of theirsnappily uniformed pursuers, rode off and inadvertently gave the entire

show while on the lam.

Playlist

Title:Across the Jagged Plains of Prog-Metal«

8/8/2019 Week Six - Foes of Stagnation

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Frequency ± VandenPlasThrough My Words ± Dream Theater 

Fatal Tragedy ± Dream Theater Stratosphere - Stratovarius

Special Top Thirty Cameo: Be You - Toussaint

Banter Highlights

+ B.J. hires a robot to speak into the microphone at the same time he doesduring theshow¶s opening, confusing listeners.

+ A university offers a sociology course centered on a singer who the hosts have heardhas a bra that shoots fire.

+ A fan of a certain video game points out an inconsistency in the game¶s back-story tothe creators¶ faces and is rewarded with the addition of a character based on him to the

games¶ next expansion.+ Matthew relates a story of how he screamed like a ³burly sort of lassin a primarily

helium environment´ when a process server popped out of hisgarbage can last trash dayto serve him papers. Matthew goes on to say that he¶s being sued by his neighbors, who

love all aspects having a yard, for accidentally crossing property lines when he built ahuge fence to keep his raccoon Wendell from straying out of the yard. B.J. wonders why

the neighbors couldn¶t tell Matthew they were suing him themselves. Matthew points outthat they probably don¶t like to hang out in trash cans.

+ B.J. shares his list of his five favorite math jokes, which only has four items (which heinsists is the fifth joke).

+ Exercise and feeling good about oneself ± twin guardians against the common cold.+ Matthew invents and usesa phrase he dubs the ³ultra-entendre,´ so loaded with double

meaning that it causes B.J.¶s face to snap fiercely and without transition between elationand bemusement, then causes B.J. to complain of a decrease in visual acuity.

Real Word of the Day

vomitous - nauseating

Made Up Word of the Day patoirmor - the use of code language to protect yourself from getting in trouble for 

the things you say.

Special Preview of Next Week The two find their competitive side ignited by recent stock trades and take to

competing with little warning and complete commitment. They both show up to thestudio three hours early trying to ³win,´ and end up using an entire ream of paper playing

tic-tac-toe to pass the time and increase their glory. Their competitive edges becomenearly foiled simply trying to get one gameof tic-tac-toe not to end in a draw. A sub-

contest is instituted focusing on the symmetry of their X¶s and O¶s, which they realizewill probably end up coming in handy for flirtatious Valentine¶s Day cards. The show

ends up being the shortest ever, as both hosts race to the show¶s end. Tune in at 9 pmnext Tuesday to witness it transpire.