“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

University of Wisconsin-Madison Since 1892 dailycardinal.com Weekend, March 26-29, 2015l

Wisconsin trooper dies in shootout

Sitting onstage at a UW-Milwaukee budget forum Wednesday, UW System President Ray Cross affirmed an audience member’s question that if Gov. Scott Walker’s budget passes and shared governance is lost, he will resign from his position.

UW-Milwaukee English profes-sor Richard Grusin asked Cross if he would renounce his position as president if he cannot decrease the budget cuts or secure shared gover-nance for UW System institutions, according to a UW-Milwaukee video of the forum.

Leaning into the microphone, Cross responded with a simple “yes,” and a head nod.

The proposed budget would include a $300 million budget cut to the UW System and make it a public authority model. This would remove shared governance and ten-ure from state statute, leaving the new model the task of redefining its laws and procedures.

Made up of UW-Milwaukee stu-dents, faculty and administration, the audience continued to cheer as the next attendee asked a question.

By Bri Maasthe daily cardinal

The beloved Memorial Union Terrace with its iconic chairs will close early this summer, leaving students disheartened.

Moving from its first to sec-ond phase, the Memorial Union Reinvestment project will focus on exterior changes, like reviv-ing Alumni Park and “over-hauling” the Terrace, causing it to close from the beginning of

September until summer 2016, Marketing & Communications coordinator for the Memorial Union Reinvestment Anna Johnson said.

She added that while small improvements are constantly being made, every 20 or 30 years the Terrace requires big chang-es to ensure accessibility to the community space.

“A big mission of the Union is to make it everyone’s living

room, make it available to every-one,” Johnson said. “Right now, the way that the Terrace is, not everyone can enjoy it as easily as they should be able to.”

Senior Ana Beckman said the construction to campus’ most known social outlet is not necessary and that she likes the Terrace the way it is.

“I think it would be a bum-mer,” Beckman said. “To close it early would not allow people

who haven’t been here over the summer to get the chance to come down and see the people they haven’t seen in a while.”

The current junior class has never seen Memorial Union not under construction. Tessa Lewis, a member of this class, said losing the Terrace for most of her senior year would be dev-astating.

By Eric Cummingsthe daily cardinal

A Wisconsin state trooper was shot and killed in Fond du Lac Tuesday afternoon after the pursuit of a suspected bank robber ended with gunfire.

State Trooper Trevor Casper was following a vehicle driven by Steven Snyder, the suspect of a bank rob-bery in Wausaukee, at the time of the incident. At approximately 5:30 p.m., Snyder and Casper engaged in gunfire that fatally wounded both people, according to a Department of Justice press release.

Video surveillance confirmed Snyder attempted to rob the State Bank of Florence at 1:43 p.m. Tuesday. Snyder fired a hand-gun during the robbery but did not injure anyone, according to a statement from the Wisconsin Bankers Association.

Following the bank rob-bery, Marinette County Sheriff Jerry Sauve reported that Snyder shot and killed Thomas Christ, a resident of Wausaukee, after an encounter near Christ’s property

Ray Cross to quit if current state budget passes

By Laura Pasqualonethe daily cardinal

The city Urban Design Commission approved changes to a rented property on Monroe Street and considered additions to a new engineering opera-tions building and a multi-fam-ily apartment development in a Wednesday meeting.

The Madison Theatre Guild requested the committee review an application to make changes to a sign size on rented city property at 2410 Monroe St., originally denied because a 16.5-square-foot sign exceeded the city’s maximum of six square feet on a non-residential building in a residential zone.

Vice President Betty Diamond explained in a letter six square feet would not be adequate for the purposes of the Guild.

She said that although the property is located in a residential area, it is very close to commercial areas. There is a functioning gas station next to the rented prop-

erty, which includes an old fire-house. A commercial area is only a few blocks away.

“We believe the current design satisfies the criteria for the [Comprehensive Design Review] process,” Diamond said.

The motion for the new sign passed unanimously, and was not discussed further in depth.

Kay Schindel of the city engineering department then presented a proposal for a new addition to the current vehicle storage and maintenance facil-ity at 1600 Emil St.

He said the plan would almost duplicate the area of the existing garage.

Commissioner Tom DeChant raised concerns about the facil-ity’s proximity to a waste dump site, especially whether it would affect traffic flow. Shindel said his company has been negotiating with the city streets department to

Terrace will close early for Memorial Union construction

SLAC strikes backUW BooksToRE

The student Labor Action Coalition protested the univer-sity’s affiliation with Jansport Wednesday. + Photo by Emily Buck

Urban Design Commission approves larger sign size

design page 2

terrace page 2

trooper page 2

TAyLoR gALAszEWski/cardinal file photo

phase ii of the Memorial Union reinvestment project will include resurfacing the terrace, filling cracks and adding a new level.

+COURSE GUIDE, page 3

+OTHER NEWS, page 4

swedish sweetnessRead our guide to Fall 2015 electives

What to take?

news2 Weekend, March 26-29, 2015 dailycardinal.coml

MPD investigates suspected heroin-involved crashes

The Madison Police Department is investigating two suspected hero-in-related car crashes that occurred Wednesday morning, according to a report.

The department believes a 24-year-old man had ingested heroin prior to crashing at a high speed at 9:10 a.m. southwest of the Beltline on Watts Road, MPD Public Information Officer Joel DeSpain wrote.

The unnamed man was pinned inside his car for a “significant period” of time while Madison Fire Department responders worked to free him. He suffered serious leg injuries but is reported to be in sta-ble condition.

The man is expected to be cited for operating under the influence.

MPD then received a call at 11:40 a.m. related to a second crash, also believed to be heroin related.

A 29-year-old man nearly drove a vehicle into a car wash near West Towne Mall on the 600 block of South Gammon Road, about one mile from the first crash. He went to a hospital for observation.

Dane County moves up to No. 15 in annual Wisconsin health rankingsDane County rose two spots

to No. 15 in a statewide rank-ing of the healthiest counties in Wisconsin, according to a UW-Madison release.

Released annually by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, the County Health

Rankings calculate counties’ overall health based on a set of thirty factors, such as education, jobs, diet and exercise.

“Since the County Health Rankings began in Wisconsin more than a decade ago, we’ve seen them serve as a rallying

point for change,” director of UW Population Health Institute in the School of Medicine and Public Health Karen Timberlake said in the release. “Communities are using the rankings to inform their priorities as they work to improve health for all their residents.”

The top five healthiest Wisconsin counties in order are Ozaukee, Pepin, Calumet, Florence and Kewaunee. The unhealthiest county is Menominee, followed by Milwaukee, Forest, Washburn and Rusk.

ASM prepares for vice provost forum By Madeline Heimthe daily cardinal

The Associated Students of Madison Coordinating Council prepared for the upcoming selection of two UW-Madison vice provost positions during its meeting Wednesday.

Candidates for the Vice Provost for Diversity and Climate and the Vice Provost of Enrollment Management will be speaking at upcoming discussions hosted by the Office of the Provost, giving them an opportunity to engage with students.

ASM Chair Gen Carter request-ed the Council’s attendance at the discussions, as well as asking the group to brainstorm questions for the candidates.

According to Carter, the Vice Provost of Enrollment Management oversees a large part of student life, and is involved with the Offices of the Registrar, Student Financial Aid and Admissions and Recruitment.

“They end up being a really

major decision maker,” Carter said.The Division of Enrollment

Management supervises sev-eral administrative units and supports them by providing services to the university’s aca-demic infrastructure, accord-ing to its website.

Finance Chair Madison Laning suggested framing a question around the possible increase of out-of-state students given the proposed budget cuts, and how that increase would affect in-state students and the university as a whole.

Vice Chair Derek Field also proposed a question concerning the amount of agency students should have over their own finan-cial decisions.

Field described this vice pro-vost position as “one of the top administrators who gets to deter-mine the future of the university.”

The Vice Provost for Diversity and Climate oversees the Office of Diversity and Inclusion, as well as campus diversity initiatives and

implementation of the Diversity Framework, according to Carter.

Carter suggested asking candi-dates how they would engage the Madison community with campus diversity plans.

Nominations Board Chair

Megan Phillips posed a question about actions professors and stu-dents can take to immediately help campus climate.

Vice provost discussions will be taking place over the next few weeks.

City seeks grocer for Allied Drive neighborhood

The city of Madison is cur-rently seeking proposals from developers, property owners and grocery store operators looking for financial aid to establish a full-service, affordable grocery store in the Allied Drive neigh-borhood of the city.

The funding would come in the form of a low-interest, par-tially forgivable loan, according to a city press release.

Common Council approved the Feb. 24 request authorizing Mayor Paul Soglin to provide the $300,000 for financial assistance.

“We know that it’s probably not enough for 40,000-square-foot grocery stores, but it could be enough for a smaller gro-cer that could serve the needs of the neighborhood,” said City Food and Alcohol Policy Director Mark Woulf. “ We’re hoping to get a number of dif-ferent proposals so we can see what’s out there.”

The Allied Drive neighborhood, located in southern Madison, has struggled with issues related to food access after having multiple failed short-term grocery stores over the years. The closure of a local Walgreens placed additional pressure on the area.

“Adequate access to healthy, affordable and culturally appro-priate food is an issue for many Madisonians,” Soglin said in the release.

The city strongly believes a full-service grocery store will be financially viable in the area, con-sidering the increase in neighbor-hood engagement. The city also approved the use of $15,000 in emergency funds.

Woulf said interested par-ties can build the grocery store anywhere within the commercial area near Verona Road southwest of the Beltline.

Interested builders must sub-mit a letter of intent by May 15 and a final proposal by June 15.

—Theresa La Susa

address the issue.Several committee members

also brought up the varying colors of the building. Their hope for the design was to bring some unity to the color scheme.

The committee passed the pro-posal for the building addition.

Lastly, JLA Architects Managing Principal Joseph Lee presented pre-liminary designs for a new multi-family development owned by T. Wall Enterprises at 5422 Portage Road near Interstate 90.

Lee said the three proposed four-story buildings will have a contemporary aesthetic look with flat roofs and fiber-cement siding that is multicolored with a “pop-ping accent color.”

He said the purpose of the infor-mal presentation was to receive feedback in order to best prepare a final proposal in the near future.

design from page 1

“I would not like it at all. I’ve hung out at the Terrace every summer since I could walk,” Lewis said. “It wouldn’t be the Union without the Terrace.”

On the other hand, UW-Madison alumnus Jeff

Smoller said the proposed cos-metic changes are not enough to solve the bigger cultural prob-lem of accessibility to the terrace.

“It’s not a construction issue, it’s a cultural issue between the campus and the city,” Smoller said. “Somehow the Madison campus needs to

open itself up to the commu-nity, and the Terrace is just one part of it.”

Johnson said while she empa-thizes with students’ concerns, she believes the closure is jus-tified because of the positive change it will bring to campus.

“I understand that people get

upset. I love the Terrace, I’m a Badger myself, but looking at the bigger picture it’s just going to be closed a little early this fall and it will open up next summer,” Johnson said, “but with that we’re going to get an amazing Terrace for the next few decades.”

terrace from page 1

Tuesday afternoon. The press release noted officials

have not confirmed Snyder was involved in any other bank robber-ies Tuesday, but another robbery occurred before Snyder’s encoun-ter with Casper.

Casper, who was originally from Kiel, was 21 years old and had been on the job for three months after graduating from the State Patrol Academy in December, according to a news release from the Wisconsin Department of Transportation.

State Rep. Jeremy Thiesfeldt,

R-Fond du Lac, voiced his remorse Wednesday in a state-ment, saying Casper’s sacrifice will never be forgotten in his duties to protect and serve citi-zens and the state.”

Casper’s family also released a statement reflecting on Trevor’s choice to become a state trooper.

“Our son Trevor was an amaz-ing young man who from a young age would do anything to help any-one,” Casper’s family said in the statement. “When we asked Trevor if he was ready for his career as a Wisconsin State Trooper, Trevor proudly told us that he was ‘born ready to do this job.’”

trooper from page 1

eMily BuCk/the daily cardinal

associated Students of Madison chair Gen carter addresses coordinating council members on upcoming vice provost forum.

eMily BuCk/the daily cardinal

city engineer Kay Schindel (left) presented plans to expand a vehicle storage and maintenance facility.

course guidedailycardinal.com Weekend, March 26-29, 2015 3 l

Perhaps your class got behind schedule and the year came to an end with World War II. Or maybe you went to school in Oklahoma. Whatever the reason, you prob-ably didn’t learn much about the Vietnam War in your high school history course.

When I enrolled in professor McCoy’s History 319 class, I came in with very little knowledge of America’s involvement with Vietnam. But McCoy, who had to dodge the CIA when he was researching the war, eloquently explained how the U.S. became embroiled in Southeast

Asia, from our initial naiveté to our failure to withdraw on time. And McCoy is by far the best lecturer I’ve had on this campus.

What happened in Vietnam remains an integral part of U.S. for-eign policy to this day. This class will transform your view of America in both good ways and bad and will stick with you well after graduation.

Credits: 4Requirements: Sophomore

standingLevel: IntermediateBreadth: Social Science

—Jim Dayton

HisTory 319The Vietnam Wars

History of Science 201 is the perfect class for anyone who has ever asked a teacher, “Why do we need to learn this?” only to be dis-appointed by the answer.

What most teachers fail to explain is that everything we learn in K-12 was figured out in the last 2,000 years by brilliant, flawed and eccentric people who dedicated their lives to solving the greatest problems of their times. History of Science 201 traces the development of science from the

dawn of civilization until the 16th century. In the process, it provides much-needed context for everything you (willingly or not) dedicated the first quarter of your life to learning.

Credits: 3Requirements: Open to fresh-

men; not open to students who have taken ILS 201 or HIST SCI 323, except with consent of instructor

Level: ElementaryBreadth: Humanities

—Andrew Edstrom

History of science 201 The Origins of Scientific Thought

English 207: Beginning Fiction & Poetry Workshop combines cre-ativity, a low time commitment and Comm-B fulfillment. Sophomore standing and three credits of intro-ductory literature will get you into ENGL 207.

Taught in small sections, this class meets only once a week. Students will workshop each other’s writing and

read the work of published writers for inspiration. It’s a fun, constructive and relaxed environment, taught not by professors but by grad students.

Credits: 3Requirements: Open to sopho-

mores only; 3 credits of literatureLevel: IntermediateFulfills Comm-B requirement

—Theda BerryEMA 601 is hands-down

the coolest course I’ve taken at UW-Madison. It takes you through the basics of flight, how an air-plane works and what it takes to get your private pilot license. For the final exam, you even have the option to take the Federal Aviation Administration written exam, which puts you part of the way to obtaining the private pilot license (which I would highly recommend).

You also get experience in a top-of-the-line flight simulator and one-on-one time with experienced flight instructor Dr. Chris Johnson, who teaches the class. You couldn’t

ask for a cooler lecturer. He knows a ton about all things aviation (he has more certifications and degrees than I knew even existed) and puts loads of effort into making sure you understand the class material. The class is kept small intentionally, and you really get to know the people in the lecture.

You don’t need to know any-thing about aviation to take this class. Take advantage of it while you can.

Credits: 3Requirements: Consent of

instructor—Rachel Wanat

While an English class may seem daunting to those who don’t always have their noses buried in a book, English 201 is relevant to all.

The course is structured around the practice of persuasive writing, focusing on determining which presentation methods work best depending on subject mat-ter. Students choose a topic (any topic) for a semester-long project and work to break apart the dif-ferent ways to explain and inform

the subject to the class, using vari-ous mediums like infographics and media presentations.

The class, located in a side room of Helen C. White, seemed more like a writing workshop, which serves as a nice break from 300-person lectures.

Credits: 3Requirements: Comm-A satis-

fied; not open to freshmen or auditorsLevel: IntermediateFulfills Comm-B requirement

—Emily Gerber

EngLish 201Intermediate Composition

EngLish 207Beginning Poetry & Fiction Workshop

Engineering Mechanics & Astronautics 601

Introduction to Private Pilot

For the design-oriented, no class is better than G370. You’ll make amazing works of art and see the world in a totally new way, earning a “graphic design” medal for your resume to boot.

“But Andrew,” you whine at your newspaper, “haven’t we already mapped everything there is to map?”

In GEO 370, maps are about so much more than where things are.

Credits: 4Requirements: Sophomore

standing or consent of instructorLevel: IntermediateBreadth: Physical Science,

Natural Science—Andrew Hahn

Geography 370

Introduction to Cartography

The Gender and Women’s Studies Department hosts a num-ber of fantastic courses, but GWS 103 is the cream of the crop. The course covers a large scope of top-ics, going beyond what was cov-ered in your high school sex-ed class, including health care dispar-ities, and political and social con-structions of gender and health. Professor Higgins is a great lec-turer, and is both personable and

engaging. GWS 103 is an interest-ing and eye-opening course that fulfills a natural science breadth with no lab requirement. Perfect for humanities majors dreading taking a science course!

Credits: 3Requirements: Open to

freshmenLevel: ElementaryBreadth: Natural Science

—Victoria Fok

Gender & Women’s Studies 103 Women’s Bodies: Health and Disease

Sure, everyone uses the Internet, but where did it come from and what exactly is it? This course takes you all the way back to the Internet’s origins, explaining exactly how this vast communica-tion network got its start. After dis-covering what led to the creation of today’s most ubiquitous tech-nological tool, you’ll look at what the development of the Internet means for society. Who exactly uses the Internet, and why? How

do we use it to represent ourselves and communicate? Can it be used to send a strong societal message? Throughout a semester in Comm Arts 346, you’ll discover exactly how many answers these ques-tions can have.

Credits: 3Requirements: Sophomore

statusLevel: IntermediateBreadth: Humanities

—Scott Bembenek

Communication Arts 346 Critical internet studies

This course takes you back through many generations of communication eras. From oral, print and broadcast to the digi-tal networked society we live in today, LIS 201 challenges stu-dents to think critically about the ubiquitous forms of commu-nication we engage with every day. Because this course ful-fills the Comm-B requirement, assignments are heavily read-ing- and writing-based. Much of the coursework involves online

components such as blogging and creating a final digital book analysis project. This class com-bines helpful skills with commu-nication history in an engaging elementary-level course.

Credits: 4Requirements: Comm-A or

equivalent; open to freshmenLevel: ElementaryBreadth: Humanities, Social

ScienceFulfills Comm-B requirement

—Abby Becker

Library & Information Studies 201 The Information Society

This course will introduce you to LGBTQ+ issues and help you discuss them in a relevant way. Why is the plus sign included? The symbol refers to the LGBTQ acro-nym and notes that not all identi-ties are included in the commonly used acronym such as asexual and pansexual people. In this course, you learn that language and identi-ties are constantly evolving and how to discuss sensitive topics in a group setting. If you are not

already exposed to or aware of topics such as heteronormativity, gender as a social construct and intersecting oppressions, actively choose to participate in this course, especially if the subject matter is out of your comfort zone.

Credits: 3Requirements: NoneLevel: IntermediateBreadth: Social Science,

Humanities—Abby Becker

Gender & Women’s Studies 200Introduction to LGBTQ Studies

Which classes SHOULD you

take next semester?

GRAPHIC BY CAMERON GRAFF

Swedish Fish endangered by global warming

l4 Weekend, March 26-29, 2015 dailycardinal.com

Friday:clouds and sunhi 34º / lo 18º

tOday:sun and cloudshi 41º / lo 19ºother news

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison

community since 1892

Volume 124, issue 832142 Vilas Communication Hall

821 University AvenueMadison, Wis., 53706-1497

(608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100

News and Editorialedit@dailycardinal.com

News team

News Manager Adelina YankovaCampus Editor Bri Maas

College Editor Ellie HermanCity Editors Irene Burski and Dana Kampa

State Editor Andrew Hahnassociate News Editor Laura Grulke

Features Editor Gilly McBride

Opinion EditorsMax Lenz • Cullen Voss

Editorial Board Chair Haley Henschel

arts EditorsAllison Garcia • Conor Murphy

Sports EditorsJack Baer • Jim Dayton

almanac Editors Dylan Anderson • Andy Holsteen

Photo EditorsEmily Buck • Thomas Yonash

associate Photo EditorWill Chizek

Graphics Editor Cameron Graff

Multimedia EditorIan Zangs

Science Editor Danielle Smith

Life & Style EditorClaire Satterfield

Special Pages Editor Haley Henschel

Copy ChiefsTheda Berry • Kara EvensonJessie Rodgers • Paige Villiard

Copy EditorsJack Baer •Ellie Borstad

Casey Donart • John JoutrasLisa Milter •Sam Wagner

Social Media Manager Madison Schiller

Business and advertisingbusiness@dailycardinal.com

Business Manager Brett Bachman

advertising ManagerCorissa Pennow

Marketing director Victoria Fok

The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales.

The Daily Cardinal is published Monday-Thursday and distributed at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and its surrounding com-munity with a circulation of 10,000.

Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recy-cled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association.

All copy, photographs and graphics appear-ing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor-in-chief.

The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising rep-resenting a wide range of views. This accep-tance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both.

Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager.

Letters Policy: Letters must be word pro-cessed and must include contact information. No anonymous letters will be printed. All letters to the editor will be printed at the discretion of The Daily Cardinal. Letters may be sent to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

© 2015, The Daily Cardinal Media Corporation

ISSN 0011-5398

Editorial BoardJack Casey • Jonah Beleckis

Haley Henschel • Cullen Voss Max Lenz • Michael Penn II

Kayla Schmidt • Conor MurphyAndy Holsteen

l

Editor-in-ChiefJack Casey

Managing EditorJonah Beleckis

Corrections or clarifications?Call The Daily Cardinal office at608-262-8000 or send an emailto edit@dailycardinal.com.

For the record

Board of directorsHerman Baumann, PresidentJack Casey • Jonah Beleckis

Jennifer Sereno • Stephen DiTullio Brett Bachman • Janet LarsonDon Miner • Phil BrinkmanJason Stein • Nancy Sandy

Corissa Pennow • Victoria FokTina Zavoral

UNC student misses game doing basketball team’s homeworkBy Kane Kaimanthe daily cardinal

The University of North Carolina student tasked with completing the basketball team’s schoolwork was unable to watch the Tar Heels take on Arkansas Saturday.

Drew Boyd, a senior, said he’d really hoped to crack open a few beers and watch the game with his roommates, but simply had too much work to get through.

“It’s a mindless job really, but with 17 players on the roster, this stuff really starts to pile up,” Boyd said, sift-ing through the mountain of papers on his desk. “It’s like Coach [Roy Williams] always says, ‘sometimes you’ve just got to be responsible; you’ve got to make sacrifices to keep the boys playing ball.’”

On Saturday, Boyd spent 10 hours completing worksheets and submitting online assignments.

“The sports manage-ment stuff never takes too long, and a lot of the algebra answers are right there in the back of the book,” Boyd said, flipping through a rolodex of campus identification num-bers. “But you’ve got to take

your time. You don’t want to put the wrong name down on an essay.”

A die-hard fan, Boyd applied for the team manager position his freshman year. He didn’t get the job, so he was surprised when he got a phone call from Coach Williams a few weeks later.

“Coach called me and said a brand-new position had just opened up: academic director,” Boyd said. “Fake classes were out, and I was in.”

Boyd says Williams couldn’t be happier about the job he’s doing.

“I’m doing well in all 70 of my classes,” Boyd said, crack-ing open an enormous binder labeled “Point Guards.”

Tar Heel basketball players are expected to maintain a C average to play ball. According to their official transcripts, Boyd has kept the team GPA at a comfortable 3.0 on a 4-point scale.

“The trick is not to get 100 percent on everything,” Boyd said, randomly filling in bubbles on a Scantron sheet. “Nobody wants to raise any suspicions, especially around tournament time.”

By Dylan Andersonthe daily cardinal

As a result of human-induced climate change, hordes of tasty Swedish Fish are now melt-ing and perishing during their natural spring transatlantic migration from their breeding grounds in Scandinavian fjords to North American factory farms, a Stockholm University study reports.

According to the study, the fish—which traditionally travel in multicolored or exclusively red schools of approximately 50 mem-bers—are facing record-high tem-peratures. The sharp uptick has become so extreme that the heat is now capable of melting their gelati-nous scales, causing them to bleed intensely delicious high fructose corn syrup into the water as they slowly sink and die.

Swedish Fish mortality rates are also rising due to increased predation as a result of the destruction of polar bear habitats through polar ice pack melting, says Stockholm University ecol-ogy professor Sven Gustafson.

“The primary natural preda-tor—other than humans of course—of Swedish Fish are seals,” Gustafson said while gulping down a massive handful of the scrump-tious candies. “Now that polar bears are dying and preying on less seal, seal populations are through the roof.”

Preserving the sweet endan-gered species has become a press-ing conservation issue for the Swedish government.

“Swedish Fish are both our national animal and snack,” Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Löfven explained to Cardinal reporters without offering them any during the interview. “We have constructed an underwater fence to keep them here in Europe and out of the treacherous carbon-infested seas.”

Skeptics of the efforts suspect they are motivated by the Swedes’ bellies rather than their brains.

“If I know greedy Löfven like I think I do, he is just trying to keep all of those cavity-inducing flip-pers to himself,” former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said while licking her fingers clean of Cracker Jack crumbs. “We used to call him

“The Shark” because he always had at least three or four bags [of Swedish Fish] in his suit jacket dur-ing United Nations proceedings. If he wants to play dirty, he’s gonna regret it.”

At press time, the U.S. placed a trade embargo on Sweden in addition to formally denouncing the theory of human-produced climate change.

courteSy oF creAtive commonS

the ridiculously yummy deceased Swedish Fish pictured above were some of the last of this endangered species.

artsdailycardinal.com Weekend, March 26-29, 2015 5 l

Clean Bandit ventures through AmericaBy Maham HasanThe Daily CarDinal

Although most people are still unfamiliar with this band’s name, they have however danced at some point to the band’s Grammy win-ning song “Rather Be.” Now that you know who I am talking about, the British electronic group, Clean Bandit, is set to bring their clas-sical and techno fusion music to the Majestic April 4. The group is comprised of four twenty-some-things who met during their stint at the University of Cambridge, and discovered a shared love for creating truly unique music.

With Jack Patterson on bass and keyboard, Grace Chatto on cello, Luke Patterson on drums and Milan Neil Amin-Smith, the master of violin and piano, Clean Bandit’s members all bring ele-ments of classical music revived into techno and dance. Although they are insanely busy with their first-ever U.S. tour, I was able to speak with Chatto for a bit via phone to chat about their Grammy win, zombies and what makes her happy.

DC: Grace, how’s it going?Chatto: Hi! We were in New

Orleans and just came into Charlotte today. It’s amazing. I absolutely loved New Orleans. We even got time to do some sightseeing and saw this lovely art exhibit. We did the show then and the crowd was so fun.

DC: Let’s start with winning a Grammy. That’s the ultimate dream for a musician, isn’t it? Was it surreal?

Chatto: Yeah, it was crazy. It was just so exciting to be out there in LA at all. We were actually just so happy with [being in LA]. But then, when they announced that we’d won, it was a crazy feeling, you know. But sort of a culmina-tion of all our hard work from the past seven to eight years.

DC: Classical music does not have a lot of admirers in the young pop following of most of today’s music. But you imple-ment it in your music, so I have to assume you have a love for classi-cal. Why? And how?

Chatto: Well, we grew up hav-ing lessons in classical music. And played loads of classical music throughout our youth. Neil and I then started a string quartet when we were studying at Cambridge University. We did a lot of concerts there that Jack used to come to and he’d make recordings of the concert. So, one day, he decided to kind of make some dance music using those recordings, and that’s how it started. Then we kind of went from there and now we use classical samples. Actually no, they’re not samples because we play them ourselves obvi-ously. But sometimes we write the string part originally, like in

“Rather Be.”DC: Finding what you’re pas-

sionate about is a rare thing. It is rarer still to be able to chase it and live your passion. Do you feel like you’ve found yours? That you’re finally doing what you’re meant to do? Any other passions you may still want to chase down the line, raising bees or climbing mountains?

Chatto: Yeah, maybe. But I’m passionate about loads of other things as well. But for the moment we decided that we’re going to pursue making music and performing. So I don’t think at all that this is the only thing we’ll do. Like we make films as well. And I’d like to make a fic-

tion film at some point. And Jack has been studying visual art and architecture. So yeah, in short… We have found something we’re passionate about. But I don’t think it is the only thing we’ll ever be passionate about.

DC: Say a zombie outbreak happened right now. Who among you would be the one with every-thing together, leading the band to survival?

Chatto: Probably Jack. I don’t think I’ll be panicking though. But maybe I will be. I don’t know! Jack and I do watch “The Walking Dead” and I often find myself thinking about that.

DC: Do you love the traveling that comes as a part of touring? Do you find time to explore new cities? Where would you really like to go next?

Chatto: Not that much time, but some. I really like traveling and it was lovely walking around New Orleans yesterday. We went to this great art exhibition and that was really exciting. Today we’re in Charlotte and we have been dying to go out. I don’t even know where, but, yeah, we’ll definitely do some exploring. I guess ideally I’d like to go to South America next because I’ve never been anywhere in South America before. But we’re looking forward to the show in Madison too and we can’t wait!

Read the full interview with Grace at dailycardinal.com.

Grace Chatto, center left, spoke with The Daily Cardinal in preparation for Clean Bandit’s show.pHoto Courtesy of Big BeAt press

opinion 6 l Weekend , March 26-29, 2015 dailycardinal.com

‘Living naturally’ negates millenia of natural selection

I t seems I can’t go a week without hearing something about “living naturally.”

While it isn’t as common in Wisconsin, this health craze of looking toward our ancestors and their lifestyle habits and choices is all but unavoidable on the West Coast. However, I do see the slow creep of this move-ment in UW-Madison’s stu-dent population, and it must be stopped. I see toe shoes, keto-genic Paleo diets, functional strength training a la CrossFit and all affiliated acts as a fad-dish response for middle-aged men tired of the weekly spin class their significant oth-ers force them to attend. This group of ideals would almost be tolerable, and even respectable, if its proponents were not some of the most annoying people you’ll meet on planet Earth, but since they are, I feel its my job to pick apart what’s driving these fads forward.

The two main components of any fitness regimen are diet and exercise, and so we will go over the diet aspect first. The Paleo Diet requires you to omit all refined grain prod-ucts, legumes, dairy and other processed products, because the standard caveman didn’t have access to that (when mul-tiple studies have found some of our ancestors did rely on these things).

Instead, you’ll be relying on meats, greens, fruits, coconut and olive oil (which somehow are not processed goods) and other goods that cavemen like-ly couldn’t take full advantage of, because they simply could not be consumed in their undo-mesticated forms or were from a different corner of the Earth. In addition to being pricey, this diet is up there with vegan-ism in how isolating it can be, because nobody wants to hear you jabber about how your diet is so much better than every-one else’s.

The bedrock of exercise upon which primal living rests upon is shaky before you even break down the harm-

ful aspects of the individual effects of this “lifestyle.” People who were already in a decent state of fitness have printed off their coaching certificates and jumped on the CrossFit band-wagon to cash out on every cubicle-working shmuck who joined in hopes of unlocking his or her inner caveman.

Given enough time spent drinking this Kool-Aid, the participants will ironically be funneled into a situation which relies upon Darwinian survival of the fittest: Those resistant to injury, able to pick up good technique or already have experienced in physical fitness will continue to stoke the anecdotal fires for every-one who injures themselves or can’t keep up in CrossFit.

The point I’m trying to make is that civilization, and all of its benefits exist for a reason. While most people who look at this school of health and thought will partake in it with more moderation than the strawman and reductio ad absurdum I’ve presented, they will fail to reap the benefits that lie at the center of the movement.

How can you trim the toxic fat of modern life when the rat race is the only thing ensur-ing your survival? Very few people have the means to pack their bags and live off the land, using nothing but a couple thousand dollars worth of gear bought from REI, which in and of itself defeats the purpose of such a lifestyle. Just how like a caveman can one get before it reaches the realm of ridicu-lousness or impracticality?

Despite the controversy, I must concede that done in moderation, some of the tenets of living like a cave-man can be beneficial to one’s health. I would be lying if I said I didn’t reap the benefits of partaking in some of the activities recommended by

these 21st century witch doc-tors: recovery runs on grass, making sure to use every part of an animal I take from hunt-ing and replacing carbohy-drates found in grains with those of a tuber are all rea-sonable activities that can be done to supplement a modern lifestyle. The point is, if early hominids were cognizant of the differences between our lives and theirs, they would pick to live with us instead of in the Stone Age. Some peo-ple think they would trade in their day jobs, coffee makers, mid-size sedans and three-piece suits for a loincloth and stone tools. We were meant for greater, and eschewing doz-ens of thousands of years of progress to play Neanderthal sounds pretty foolish to me.

Sergey is a freshman writ-er for The Daily Cardinal and majoring in economics and international studies. What’s your take on living natural-ly? Have you participated in CrossFit or the Paleo Diet? We’d like to hear your take on these activities. Please send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Transparency needed in course evaluations

Sergey FedoSSovOpinion Columnist

We were meant for greater, and eschewing dozens of thousands of

years of progress to play Neanderthal sounds pret-

ty foolish to me.

A recent email from the Office of the Registrar reminded me of the

daunting task of registering for classes. In the upcoming weeks, many UW-Madison stu-dents will begin to enroll in classes for the Fall 2015 term.

Prior to course shopping, students consider an array of factors, from course difficul-ty to course start time, when creating their ideal schedule. While it is only my second semester at UW-Madison, I believe course enrollment is a tedious process that requires a lot of outside consultation, debate and strategic planning.

As my friends and I began to look into courses, we start-ed discussing a topic that has been “out of sight, out of mind” since mid-December: course evaluations. At one point, our WiscMail inboxes were flooded with department-sponsored evaluations that were tailored to assess a particular course and its instruction. However, once these reviews left our hands, they were no longer of use to us.

Course evaluations are strictly reviewed under indi-vidual academic departments and are further analyzed by the Office of Testing and Evaluation Services. Thus, stu-dents’ ability to publicly access these evaluations remains non-existent. But what if we had a university-sponsored evalua-tion system that was made pub-lic to students? This solution would provide necessary trans-parency on courses, professors and teaching assistants here on campus.

This idea is not unique by any means. Graham Ambrose, a

freshman at Yale University, said Yale makes its course evaluations publicly available to its students.

“With accessible student reviews, information reigns supreme,” Ambrose said. “Reviews offer information about the quality of the instruc-tion, the quality of students who take the course, difficulty of grading and other relevant points vital in course shopping.”

A public evaluation system would provide students with more credible, formal and objective review resources than are currently offered online. For example, the review web-site RateMyProfessors.com has answered the inquiries of curi-ous undergraduate students since its start-up in 1999.

“I review the ratings on RateMyProfessors.com before enrolling in any classes,” Jordyn Middleberg, a UW-Madison

freshman, said. “More times than not, if a professor received a poor rating, it would likely discourage me from taking the class.”

While I admit that I have turned to the website for course advice, I am not an avid user or general fan of RateMyProfessors.com. The reviews listed on Rate My Professors are often outdated and appear strikingly polarized. When factors such as “Easiness” and even “Hotness” are taken into account, we must question the validity of such reviews.

If UW-Madison publi-cized the results of its course evaluations, the use of RateMyProfessors.com would become obsolete. Instead, stu-dents could turn to a univer-sity-sponsored public evalua-tion system to obtain objective results that are based upon reliable, statistical analysis.

This would propel stu-

dents to come to their own conclusions on whether or not a course suits their per-sonal, academic or professional needs. Departments could still possess the authority to control the content on their evaluations but should be held accountable for quantifying data in ways that are insightful to students.

There is something to be said about having course evaluations available to the masses. On one hand, these reviews could send enrollment rates for a particular course through the roof. At the same time, such reviews could equally tarnish the reputation of another course.

According to Ralph Grunewald, an assistant pro-fessor in the Department of Comparative Literature & Folklore studies and the Legal Studies Program, giving stu-dents the opportunity to see

evaluations would provide needed transparency.

“Students should know what they sign up for,” Grunewald said. “At the same time, I would like to think about including some safeguards, so it doesn’t just become how popular a profes-sor is. Instead, we need to focus on providing a broad education experience for our students.”

I agree with professor Grunewald in that a public-evaluation system could run the risk of a popularity con-test between professors. This conversation led professor Grunewald and I to explore alternative ways that would provide students with insight about courses.

“Perhaps a 10-minute video clip from lecture would be an easy way to show students what a particular course is like,” Grunewald suggests.

Ultimately, I call upon the university to reform its current course evaluation procedures to maximize student utility. By no means is an online univer-sity-sponsored evaluation sys-tem, like Yale’s, the end-all-be-all for course transparency. As students of UW-Madison, we deserve to know more about classes and the way they are taught, outside of what the Course Guide vaguely provides. Ultimately, we should be able to feel confident and secure in our course enrollment decisions each semester.

Sam is a freshman writer for The Daily Cardinal and is majoring in political science. What’s youre view on students being allowed to access pre-vious course evaluations? Do you see any drawbacks to this idea? We’d like to hear your view. Please send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com.

Sam goTTSTeiNOpinion Columnist

CoNg gao/the daily Cardinal

a lot of information is available about classes while you register, from finals dates to names of professors. But at UW-Madison, course evaluations from previous semesters remain unavailable.

comics dailycardinal.com Weekend, March 26-29, 2015 • 7

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?© Puzzles by Pappocom

Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

Today’s Sudoku Future Freaks By Joel Cryer jcryer@wisc.edu

Caved In Classic By Nick Kryshak graphics@dailycardinal.com

Tanked Life Classic By Steven Wishau graphics@dailycardinal.com

...NoT SaN dIego

ACROSS 1 Drudges 6 “Halt, salts!” 11 Oldish computer

monitor, for short 14 Farewell 15 Daisy Mae’s father-in-

law 16 Propel, in a way 17 Agreement between

partners 19 Eggs 20 90-degree shape 21 Boiling blood 22 “Fantasy Island” prop 23 Made into law 27 Far from cordial 29 I, to Claudius 30 Gulf War missile 32 Small, slender gull 33 “Give it ___!” 34 Cordwood measure 36 Elizabeth I was the

last one 39 Camp sight 41 High-wind producer 43 Classic stationery

shade 44 Simple chord 46 Begets 48 Order between

“ready” and “fire” 49 Blows it 51 Bird no more 52 Strong solution of

potassium hydroxide 53 Fruitful experiences 56 Guard, tackle or

center 58 “A likely story!” 59 Winner’s haul 60 Rotating engine part 61 Cause of wrinkles 62 Harmonizes, as an

effort 68 “Didn’t I tell you?” 69 Mag attachment? 70 Pageant winner’s

prize 71 Verb with “thou” 72 Nutty pie 73 “McSorley’s Bar”

painter John

DOWN 1 Amniotic ___ 2 Tokyo, formerly 3 Brazilian port, for

short 4 Not as many 5 Like night 6 Part of the second

qtr. 7 “___ in victory” 8 Plant bug 9 Apparition 10 Ready to be proofed 11 Hardly excited 12 Deep black 13 It may be dominant

or recessive 18 Sends to Congress 23 Started a poker

game 24 Samantha of the

silver screen 25 Grandma probably

has one 26 Tenor-soprano

combos, e.g. 28 Not slanderous 31 Intelligent bot 35 Classic Flynn 37 Certain Indian 38 Animal stomach 40 Drum containers 42 Florentine family

name 45 Large letter that

starts a chapter 47 Voiced sounds 50 Take a siesta 53 Tibetan city 54 Avid 55 Unflappable 57 Internet messages 63 Biochemistry abbr. 64 Cozy cave 65 “The ___ of Pooh” 66 Piece of history 67 ___ Luis Obispo

First in Twenty Classic By angel Lee graphics@dailycardinal.com

Fact of The DayCalifornia, New York and Florida lead

the United States in wine consumption.

Sports DailyCarDinal.ComWeekenD marCh 26-29, 2015

men’s Basketball

Badgers eye return trip to Final FourBy Jack Baerthe daily cardinal

Stop if you’ve heard this before: There’s a good chance senior guard Traevon Jackson will play next game. However, this could finally be his return.

Jackson (foot) is officially list-ed as a game-time decision for the top-seeded Badgers (33-3) as they prepare to take on athletic No. 4-seed North Carolina (26-11) in a Sweet 16 matchup Thursday night in Los Angeles.

Jackson practiced Wednesday and told reporters he will play Thursday with no limitations.

“Trae’s looking more and more comfortable,” said senior forward Frank Kaminsky. “The jumpshot is a little different. He’s the kind of guy that’s been work-ing hard to get back into the posi-tion where he can play again, and it’s nice to see him back out on the court and enjoying it.”

There have been plenty of the-orized return dates for Jackson. He claimed he was going to play March 1 on Senior Day against Michigan State then watched the game in street clothes. Days later, head coach Bo Ryan shot down any possibility of the guard playing in the Big Ten Tournament. This made the NCAA Tournament’s first weekend a logical choice, especially when Jackson started

practicing the Monday before the opening round. No dice.

There’s a very good chance this could be it, even if Jackson only plays limited minutes while sophomore guard Bronson Koenig sits in the driver’s seat.

Any added depth will be a godsend for the Badgers, espe-cially against a team with as deep a frontcourt as North Carolina.

At full health, the Tar Heels rotate seven players in the front-court that were four or five-star recruits out of high school. That doesn’t mean they are more tal-ented than Wisconsin, but it is indicative of the wall of athleti-cism awaiting the Badgers.

The area where the Tar Heels shine the most, offensive rebound-ing, is where Wisconsin could be best equipped to limit them. UNC ranks eighth in the coun-try in offensive rebounding rate, grabbing 38.7 percent of its misses according to teamrankings.com. Meanwhile, Wisconsin grabs 78.5 percent of its opponents’ misses, which comes in at third in the country and is no accident.

“If you give up only one shot, you think your points per posses-sion defensively are going to turn out to be pretty good? Absolutely,” Ryan said. “So, yes, we do work on that. We keep track. If we don’t get 10 or more points every 10 posses-

sions, we run [in practice].”Unfortunately for North

Carolina, it could be without its most efficient offensive rebounder. Like Jackson, UNC sophomore center Kennedy Meeks is a game-time decision, but is much less likely to play. Meeks sprained his knee in the Tar Heels’ Round of 32 game against Arkansas. UNC head coach Roy Williams said on his Monday radio show, “It’s not good … I don’t think we’ll have him.”

Meeks leads his team in offen-sive rebounding rate at 12.9 percent, and his 290-pound frame gives him the kind of girth that could make Kaminsky uncomfortable.

Even if Meeks is out, the Tar Heels possess a strong weapon in junior guard Marcus Paige, whose outside shooting could give Wisconsin trouble. Guards have frequently been able to hang 20-plus points on the Badgers by using ball screens to neutralize UW’s top perimeter defender, redshirt senior guard Josh Gasser.

“Well, I think with Gasser and Bronson both, they’re really good players,” Williams said in a press conference Wednesday. “They can hurt you offensively or defensively. But that’s what Marcus is. He’s a really good basketball player, too. I never think it’s imperative that one guy has got to do everything. North Carolina’s got to come to play.”

thomaS yonaSh/cardinal file photo

point guard traevon Jackson may finally return this weekend after missing the previous 19 games with a broken foot.

NIT excitement proves shorter shot clock helps college basketball

T he amount of time it takes to read this sen-tence out loud could

save college basketball.OK, that’s hopefully the req-

uisite amount of hyperbole this column needs to grab your atten-tion. Let’s talk about how we can improve college basketball.

I’m not going to blame you if you haven’t watched the National Invitation Tournament, which hasn’t been good for anything in recent years beyond giving Minnesota fans an inflated sense of accomplishment in the 2014 season. I still find it unbelievable there was a time when the NIT was the pre-eminent playoff and the NCAA Tournament was secondary.

But once again, the NIT is really good for something: serving as the lab for NCAA’s shot clock experiment. In case you haven’t heard, this year’s NIT has reduced its shot clock to 30 seconds from the cur-rent 35.

The results have been fantastic. As Shane Ryan of Grantland explained on Twitter, the average offen-sive efficiency of the NIT has risen from the national aver-age to what would be around 60th of 351 teams. Pace of play, measured by possessions, has increased to the Top 40.

Read that paragraph again. Five seconds did that. Five seconds shifted the aver-age offensive game into what would rank in the top fifth of college basketball today. Even when you mentally adjust for the fact that teams likely play more frantically in a playoff than the regular season, this is beyond significant.

Let’s be clear, the pace and level of offense in the college basketball game today are real problems. After a brief uptick in scoring when the ban on hand-checks went into effect in 2013, points per game have continued their decline to levels not seen since the days of Bill Russell in the 1950s. Pace of play is also down to its lowest level since Ken Pomeroy began measuring it as a stat in 2002.

If you’re talking about how the physical, grinding game is a throwback to the good ol’ days, you’re wrong. This level of drudgery doesn’t go back to Laettner’s, Jordan’s or Alcindor’s time in college, it basically goes back to the time when multiple black starters were taboo.

It’s understandable if you reflexively defend slow ball

thanks to Wisconsin fandom, but if we’ve learned anything in the last two years, it’s that Bo Ryan’s system can work with a lower shot clock when he has the right talent. And let’s face it, if a team can’t get anything going offensively in 30 seconds, an extra five sec-onds probably won’t change the game for them.

There are other steps we can take to turn college basketball around and make it more exciting, like lowering the number of time-outs a coach receives or merging those with media timeouts if the situation allows. If the NCAA was feeling particularly bold, it could even widen the restricted zone to 4 feet like the NBA and limit the number of charges called.

For now though, the NIT has shown lowering the shot clock works, and that means the change can’t be implemented fast enough.

Despite the excitement of March Madness, does col-lege basketball have room for improvement? What other rule changes should the sport con-sider? Email Jack at jack.baer@dailycardinal.com to share your opinion.

JaCk Baer baer with me

Softball

By Jacob hamsthe daily cardinal

After being swept by Purdue last weekend, Wisconsin (0-3 Big Ten, 13-16 overall) looks to bounce back this weekend against Northwestern (3-0, 15-11).

The Badger offense only scored one run and combined for only five hits in the three games last week-end. Senior outfielder and star offensive player Maria Van Abel must improve upon her .143 bat-ting average during the three-game series against the Boilermakers.

Wisconsin will look to take advantage of a Northwestern pitching staff that has struggled this season. The Wildcats’ best pitcher, junior Kristen Wood, has seven of the team’s wins and an ERA of 3.73. She has won three of her last four outings and has allowed no more than five runs in any of those games.

Meanwhile, UW freshman Mariah Watts had been on a roll before playing Purdue, winning four of her last five games. Watts faltered against the Boilermakers, giving up six runs in the last game of the series.

Watts and the rest of Wisconsin’s pitching staff will have their work cut out for them against this Northwestern offense. The Wildcats score an average of 6.08 runs per game and have four players batting over .360. The top two performers for the Wildcats are senior outfielder Andrea DiPrima and junior infielder Andrea Filler. Both players have a batting average over .400 and have hit six home runs apiece.

The matchup should be close as Wisconsin’s strong pitching will take on Northwestern’s potent offense. The series will begin Saturday at 12 p.m. in Evanston, Ill.

UW goes on the hunt this weekend against Wildcats

the nit has shown lowering the shot clock works, and that means

the change can’t be implemented fast enough.

Five seconds shifted the average offensive game into what would rank in the top fifth of college

basketball today.

emily BuCk/cardinal file photo

the Badgers need Maria Van abel to carry their struggling offense.