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Talking Taboos:Self HarmSkyCast

Talking Taboos: Self Harm

Today’s Aims: • To look at what self-harm is

• To explore some of the reasons why someone might self-harm

• To discuss the common myths and misconceptions about self-harm

• To introduce some coping strategies for anyone who might be struggling or thinking about self harm.

1. Firstly, we agree that everything that is said in the session is confidential and that we won’t discuss it with anyone outside of this session

2. We all agree to listen to each other and give people a supportive space where they can let their feelings out

3. We will treat each other with respect, take each other’s views seriously and do our best to try and understand where people are coming from, even if we disagree with something they are saying

4. We all agree that we are entitled to share as much or as little as we want – there’s no obligation to say anything during these sessions, but also if you want some time to talk about your situation, that’s okay…

KEEPING THINGS PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

Definition of Self-Harm• Self-harm is the term used to describe when someone deliberately

causes harm to themselves either by causing a physical injury or by putting themselves in dangerous situations. It is also known as self-injury or self-mutilation.

• The National Institute for Clinical Excellence describes self-harm as: "Intentional self poisoning or injury, irrespective of the apparent purpose of the act " NICE 2004

Types of Self-HarmCutting, scratching or picking

Burning or scalding Inserting objects into the body

Substance abuse Head banging and hitting

Punching things or throwing yourself against hard objects Taking personal risks

Self-neglect Hair pulling (also known as trichotilliomania)

Eating disorders Drug taking or excessive alcohol consumption

Over dosing Intentionally preventing wounds from healing

Swallowing poisonous substances or inappropriate objects

Why Self-Harm?• Expressing feelings that can’t be put into words • Releasing pain or tension • Trying to feel in control • Distracting from overwhelming emotions or difficult life

circumstances • Trying to survive - feeling like they have no choice • Relieving guilt and self-hate • Wanting to punish themselves • To feel alive, or feel something, instead of feeling numb

Coping with Self-Harm

Meet Jo• Jo is fifteen and lives with her Mum, step-dad Pete and two small

brothers. Her Mum and Dad divorced when she was 6 years old and she only occasionally sees her Dad. Jo doesn’t get on with Pete and she has a difficult relationship with her Mum as they argue a lot.

• In the last few months, Jo heard that one of her friends has been scratching her arms and legs. One day Jo was feeling particularly unhappy after a row with her Mum and tried hurting herself.

• For a little while it made her feel better – she felt more in control of her life but then she found that she couldn’t stop doing it. She realised it was becoming a habit but she couldn’t tell her Mum or Pete, so has decided as her good friend that she wants to talk to you about it...

Do’s and Don’tsDo’s Don’ts• Do listen and be supportive• Do show them that you care and

understand the person behind the self-harm

• Do try to understand where they are coming from

• Let them remain in control as much as possible

• Be positive but don’t point out all the reasons they should be happy in their life

• Do get some support for yourself• Do point them in the direction of

other places that can offer support

• Do offer ideas to help them stop, like distraction techniques

• Don’t be judgemental• Don’t jump to conclusions or

follow a misconception• Don’t force them to stop – you

might be taking away their only coping mechanism

• Don’t ask them to promise that they’ll stop – this is likely to add to their pressure and guilt

If someone you know is self-harming…• Deal with your own feelings. You may feel shocked, confused, worried –

and feel guilty about admitting these feelings. Acknowledging your feelings is an important first step…

• Learn about the problem. The best way to overcome any discomfort or distaste you feel about self-harm is by learning about it. Understanding why your friend or family member is self-injuring can help you see the world from his or her eyes.

• Don’t judge. Avoid judgmental comments and criticism—they’ll only make things worse. Remember, the self-harming person already feels ashamed and alone.

• Offer support, not ultimatums. It’s only natural to want to help, but threats, punishments, and ultimatums are counterproductive.

• Encourage communication. Encourage your loved one to express whatever he or she is feeling, even if it’s something you might be uncomfortable with.

If YOU are self-harming…• Think about talking to someone and what sort of

support you might need…• Think about why you self-harm?– Do you cut to express pain and intense emotions?– Do you cut to calm and soothe yourself?– Do you cut because you feel disconnected and numb?– Do you cut to release tension or vent anger?

• Think about your triggers• Try distraction and stopping techniques

Talk to someone:

Talk to your GP, teacher or a counsellorSpeak to Jump Start/Off the RecordCall a helpline e.g. Childline

Look online for support

www.nshn.co.ukwww.selfharm.co.ukwww.thesite.org

Places who can Help