WELCOME TO

“STRESS-LESS”EMPOWERING OUR CHILDREN TO MANAGE HAPPIER, HEALTHIER EVERYDAY LIVES

BY TINA DEVINCENZO

M.ED. EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY

THINK TANK-CREATOR/INSTRUCTOR

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”If given 6 hours for this task most would immediately start

swinging the axe as soon as the buzzer sounds off. Not taking

the time to plan before we begin can create

unnecessary/unwanted stress in our lives. So, envisioning the

steps before beginning a project or discussion, getting our tools

sharpened first can save substantial amount of time and prevent

unnecessary stress.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?YOUR SON/DAUGHTER COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL, PLOPS ON THE COUCH EATING A BOWL OF CEREAL WHILE WATCHING RE-RUNS OF “MODERN FAMILY”

YOU WOULD BE:

A. ANGRY

B. DISAPPOINTED

C. FRUSTRATED

HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD ASK, “HOW WAS YOUR DAY?”

HOW MANY WOULD START YELLING?

HOW MANY WOULD SIT DOWN AND WATCH IT WITH THEM?

Over-scheduled? Here are some signs:

• You have to rush from one event to another.

• You're constantly in a battle with the clock.

• It takes a lot of effort to make your daily and weekly schedules

come out right.

• Eating dinner in the car while going from band to soccer several

nights

• You're often tired and grumpy.

• You feel like you have no free time at all.

• You're enjoying activities less because there are too many of

them.

• You're doing so many things, not enough time to enjoy any one

of them.

Our stress response includes responding to stressors by activating the nervous system and specific hormones. These hormones speed up heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure, and metabolism.

This is also called the fight or flight response and is critical during emergency situations, such as when a driver slams on the brakes to avoid an accident. It can also be activated in a milder form at a time — like stepping up to take the foul shot that could win the game, sitting down for a final exam, giving a speech in front of peers. This form of stress can help keep us on your toes, ready to rise to a challenge.

The Stress Response

WAIT! DID YOU PICK UP YOUR INSTRUCTION MANUAL AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOUR CHILD

WAS BORN?When is the last time you said to your son/daughter;

• “What do you need to feel successful at home or school?”

• “Tell me about your day at school,” but while listening you interject your

thoughts, opinion, advice before they finish talking?

Our children have the whole wide world to try to figure out. So, let’s do our

best to be their support system as we decrease stress in both our lives.

When 3000 high schoolers were asked, “What are the 3 main teen

stressors”, they selected;

1. School

2. Parents

3. Friends….yep, in that order!

IF YOU ARE LEFT HANDED-RAISE YOUR HAND

Scientific Left Handed Facts

More likely to have allergies

More prone to migraines

Use the right side of the brain

the most

Twice as likely to be a man

Better at multi-tasking

More creative

Make 27% more income over

their lifetime

SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

When a person unknowingly causes a prediction to come true due to the simple fact that he or she expects it to

come true

What does your child believe they can be? What do you believe they can be?

The last time you told them they are amazing at something was……

today, yesterday, last week, not sure?

BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD

-GHANDI

Let’s all start the change with our

children! Let’s build them up so they

“fill/feel” their prophecy while

reaching their full potential.

Negative stress can keep all of us

from achieving our goals….let’s

change that!

Making your home a stress-free zone will help ensure your children look forward to being at

home. Providing a safe place to rest, eat, play & learn

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them."

— Ralph Nichols

STRESS IS PART OF LIFE ~IT AFFECTS EVERY ASPECT OF OUR WORLD~LUCKY FOR US, WE GET THE CHOOSE IF WE

TURN IT INTO GOOD OR BAD STRESS

Stress is very complicated. But, since we create stress, we can also stop it.Ex. 5 compliments, 1 negative comment and clinging to the one negative thoughtWe CAN retrain our minds. Simply repeating only the positive feedback can change that mode of not only hearing the negative. The more we practice, the more habitual our positive thinking becomes everyday.

If we change the way we think, using mindfulness, also known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) we can make stress work for usinstead of against us.

90-10 RULECHALLENGES ARE ALWAYS PRESENT IN LIFE

SO, LET’S TRY TO “TWEEK THE WEEK”, DON’T SEEK THE EASY WAY, PICK THE HARDER PATH-PARK FARTHER

AWAY, GO DOWN THE STAIRS IF YOU CAN’T WALK UP, FIND OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE

90%-HOW WE REACT

• THOUGHTS AND ATTITUDE DETERMINE WHAT DIRECTION WE TAKE

• DO YOU SEEK THE GLASS HALF FULL MODE/CHOOSE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE HARDER BECAUSE YOU WILL BE BETTER FOR IT?

• Or, choose to make everything a NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE

10%-WHAT HAPPENS TO US

• THE TRAFFIC CAUSES YOU TO BE LATE

• YOUR INSTRUCTOR CALLS ON YOU WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE THE ANSWER

• YOUR BOSS IS NEEDING A REPORT “YESTERDAY”

• THE WEATHER HAS BEEN CLOUDY FOR DAYS AND YOU WISH IT WAS SUNNY

STRESS MANAGEMENT 101• STUDY EVERY DAY MAKE IT A HABIT-7 DAYS A WEEK

• SLEEP AT LEAST 8 HOURS/NIGHT

• EAT BREAK”FAST” EVERY DAY

• TRY YOUR BEST TO HAVE A CALM MORNING-PLAN OUT WHAT TO WEAR/TESTS FOR THE

WEEK

• BE ON TIME FOR SCHOOL EVERY DAY

• THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT YOUR DAY

• GIVE COMPLIMENTS TO OTHERS AND IT WILL IMPROVE YOUR SPIRITS

• BE REALISTIC-MATH’S NOT YOUR FAV DON’T TRY TO MAKE IT YOUR FAV

• COMPLETE ALL ASSIGNMENTS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE/DO HARDEST WORK FIRST

• DON’T’ EXPECT YOURSELF TO BE PERFECT, YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED

• TIME MANAGEMENT /PLANNING - NEVER NEED TO RUSH!

• KEEP TRACK OF THE CLOCK/TIMER~ ESTABLISH START AND AN END TIME

LESS STRESS~QUALITY OF LIFE IMPROVES

THE BASICS-

• MAKE A LIST EVERY DAY-INCLUDE BASIC TASKS-CHECK OFF

ACCOMPLISHED TASKS

• MUSCLE RELAXATION-HEAD TO TOE-TENSE UP THEN RELEASE

• DEEP-BREATHING DURING TIMES OF “FIGHT OR FLIGHT”

• EXERCISE-AT LEAST 100 MINUTES PER 7 DAYS-THAT IS ONLY 14

MINUTES A DAY

• DIET-AVOID JUNK FOOD -EAT CITRUS AS A DE-STRESSOR/DRINK HOT

TEA

• DRINK LOTS OF WATER, KEEP YOUR BRAIN HYDRATED, HELP FEND OFF

STRESSORS

• UNPLUG-30 MINUTES OF NOTHING (15 WILL DO IF CANT DO 30)

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Laughter therapyWhat is laughter therapy?We were born with the gift of laughter. Laughter is good ole natural medicine. It lifts our spirits and makes us feel happy. Laughter is a contagious emotion. It can bring people together. It can help us feel more alive and empowered. Laughter therapy, also called humor therapy, is the use of humor to promote overall health and wellness. It aims to use the natural physiological process of laughter to help relieve physical/emotional stresses.Research supporting laughter therapyAfter years of prolonged pain from a serious illness, Cousins claims to have cured himself with a self-invented regimen of laughter and vitamins. (Anatomy of an Illness, Cousins)Recent studies have revealed that episodes of laughter helped to reduce pain, decrease stress-related hormones and boost the immune system in participants. Today more than ever before, people are turning to humor for therapy

Finding what works best, as soon as possible, can jump start the process toward leading a less, stressful life.

Discovering an individual pathway is essential.

SIGHTVisualizing happy places, favorite colors, positive quotes on a daily

basis can be as uplifting as hearing compliments from someone else….. Surround your space with positive sights. Place in your car,

bathroom mirror, desk, kitchen

SMELL

Lavender and Chamomile have both been used to years as a calming relaxing cent.

Strongest of the 5 senses and also our direct messenger to our memory. Even has a strong connection to our emotions. Whether it is candle, essential oil on a cotton ball or a fresh bunch or herbs, all can elicit desirable effects.

Spearmint and eucalyptus are noted for uplifting spirits and sense of over all well-being.

Whether in form of a peppermint candy or crushed peppermint leaves, this one can be used to increase alertness and focus

Lemon and vanilla have remarkable results either in a candle or hot water/tea as an energy/mood booster.

Pine has been recognized as a stress reliever

HEARINGBrain imaging shows certain music stimulates the brain and is

responsible for certain changes in emotions. Some studies have shown

classical music even slowed listeners’ heart rates and improves focus.

Rule of thumb- faster the music, the more alert. Upbeat music

can make you feel more optimistic and positive about life. A slower

tempo can quiet your mind and relax your muscles, making you feel

soothed while releasing the stress of the day. Music is effective for

relaxation and stress management.

Researchers at Stanford University (press release 2006) have said

that "listening to music seems to be able to change brain functioning to

the same extent as medication." They noted that music is something

that almost anybody can access and makes it an easy stress reduction

tool.

TASTE

ALMOST EVERYONE IS AWARE OF “COMFORT FOOD” BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT

MOST OF THESE ARE ONLY A TEMPORARY SOLUTION. GOOD NEWS

THOUGH…….CERTAIN “GOOD FOR YOU COMFORT FOODS RELAY MESSAGES TO

YOUR BRAIN TO RELEASE ENDORPHINS AND YOU ACTUALLY TRICK YOUR BRAIN INTO BELIEVING YOU ARE HAPPY. HOT TEA WITH HONEY AND LEMON HAS BEEN

USED FOR YEARS AS A STRESS TAMER, AS WELL AS SEVERAL SPECIALTY TEAS,

Here is a Top 10 “comfort” foods that can help de-stressAsparagus, Avocado, Almonds, Milk, Oatmeal, Oranges, Salmon,

Spinach, Turkey

TOUCH

Some people are very tactile and find that touching or feeling different textures provide stress relief. This can include;• HUGS We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8

hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” –Dr. Mercola

• playing with a stress relief ball or play-doh• petting an animal • getting a massage• taking a hot bath/shower

Or, simply holding a favorite blanket

I HOPE WE CAN ALL BE MORE AWARE EACH DAY AS WE MODEL USING OUR MINDS TO REDUCING THE STRESS IN OURS AND OUR CHILDREN’S EVERY DAY LIVES.

MAY WE ALL ABSORB THE WORLD THROUGH OUR SENSES AS WE CHOOSE TO MAKE A COMMITMENT TO FOCUSING ON THINGS THAT MAKE US MINDFULLY CONTENT.

ON OUR PLIGHT FOR HAPPY, HEALTHY LIVES LETSHELP OUR YOUTH REACH THEIR GOALS WITH OPEN HEARTS AND MINDS.

WRAP UP

So, let’s all leave here tonight…..Surrounding our children with an “anything is possible”

attitude.Reminding them often;

We respect themWe love them

We are of themAnd, we are here to minimize their stress

TEAS TO RELIEVE STRESS

• Ashwagandha Tea-This tea is one of the best teas for anxiety because of its reputation for clearing the mind, treating stress and alleviating exhaustion. It does not contain any of the stimulants that are so prevalent in energy drinks that are designed to improve mood.

• Hawthorne Tea-This tea makes the list of best tea for anxiety because of its calming effect on the cardiovascular system in people who suffer from hypertension due to intense stress.

• California Poppy Tea-Often used as a headache remedy, this tea can also serve as an anti-anxiety treatment. It is one of the oldest herbal remedies in North America and has been used as a remedy for stress-induced conditions for decades.

• Lemon Balm Tea- On its own, lemon balm makes the list of best teas for anxiety because it calms the nervous system and settles the nerves.

• Lavender Tea -This tea has shown significant promise in reducing anxiety in women. This aromatic herb makes the list of best tea for anxiety due to its calming properties that help quiet the mind and body. It stabilizes mood and promotes overall well-being.

• Chamomile Tea- It has a mild relaxing effect – just enough to take the edge off nerves and calm the mind.

• Green Tea-This simple Japanese beverage allowed monks to meditate for hours, with their mind alert and their body relaxed.

• Basil Tea-Used in India as a relaxant, among other purposes. Basil tea has a mild effect on anxiety, but it is widely considered to be stronger than chamomile tea.

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