The Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest is inspired by Wergle's creator, poet David Taub. Back at the turn of the millennium, Mr. Taub submitted "Flubblebop" to poetry.com's former (and not very selective) contest to see what would happen. 

Flubblebop

by Wergle Flomp

flobble bobble blop

yim yam widdley woooo

oshtenpopple gurby

yip yip yip

nish-nash nockle nockle

opfem magurby voey

Ahh! "Wurby tictoc?"

"quefoxenjib masaloouterp!"

bim-burm nurgle shliptog

afttowicky wicky wicky

erm addmuksle slibberyjert!

Reqi stoobery bup dinhhk

yibberdy yobberdy hif twizzum moshlap

dwisty fujefti coppen smoppen dob

tigtog turjemy fydel

saxtenvurskej brisleywum

swiggy swiggy swug

yumostipijjle dobers!

 

Here's what Wergle got back...

The letter continues...you get the idea. Here's the order form for Promises of Love...

Encouraged by this encouragement, Mr. Taub persisted. Under the pen name Bert, which itself is a pen name of

Wadda ass Iyam, he submitted "Yew Gotta Larf":

 

Yew Gotta Larf

by Bert

Yew gotta larf at any moreon

who could write, "your poem was selected

for publication, and as a contest semi-finalist, on the basis of your unique talent

and artistic vision."

when we all know this is about as artistic

as vomitting on the neigbour's porch.

Burp... huey... excuse me while I be artistic on your cat.. so much for

the vision.. I never saw your cat.

Now let's get down to the real truth..

You hope I am fooled into parting with

my cash to see this in your anthology.

Wot if NO-ONE bought your books, mugs

plaques, keyrings? (have you thought of musical toilet-roll holders?)

I look forward to receiving your standard letter telling me how artistic this drivel is. If nothing else, I get a free

envelope

which I can recycle.

Poetry.com found Bert's unique perspective perfect for its new anthology, Seasons of Happiness...

 

 

For the pièce de résistance, Mr. Taub had "Stephen Abutlol" submit "Nicky Nacky Noo":

 

Nicky Nacky Noo

by Stephen Abutlol

Tum tum tum de tum

This is apoem I sings a lot

to make me very vary hapy.

I fink it will look good on a poster two.

and a cofey mug to shows my frineds

at work so they no i am an internashunal

poet who mite even winz a prise!

Then i wuld be vary famus

and hav lotz of muney

wich wuld be vary funny

coz some of them sayd I was

eliterite wich sucks

(I hopes I can say sucks, if not

please put a defferent word instead.)

and also I just sore the poem

has to be 20 lines long so

I am counting the lynes again.

This is line nienteen

and this in number twenty. Thanx. The End

 

Poetry.com found the artistic vision of "Nicky Nacky Noo" well suited to their anthology, A Palette of Life...

 

Do Wergle proud and submit to the Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest. There's no fee to enter.