What Does the Bible Say About an Unhappy Marriage

8/9/2019 What Does the Bible Say About an Unhappy Marriage

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What does the Bible say about

an unhappy marriage?

One thing we know for sure: not being happy in

marriage is not biblical grounds for divorce. In Mark

10:11-12 Jesus said, "A man who divorces his wife so he

can marry someone else commits adultery against her.

And a woman who divorces her husband so she can

marry someone else commits adultery." Based on the

Bible, we see that people don't have the right to dissolve

an unhappy marriage. God intended that marriage be for

a lifetime.

Ephesians 5 presents marriage as a picture of the

relationship God has with us. This is one reason why God

has such an interest in keeping marriages intact. He is

the One that established the concept of "until death do us

part." He established this for our own good. Failed

marriages and broken homes are devastating to the

husband and wife, not to mention the children involved.

Financial ruin is only one of the unhappy results of

divorce. The family unit is the basic building block of any

society and rampant divorce has a tragic impact on all of

the culture.

This is not to say that God wants us to force us to remain

forever in an unhappy state. He doesnt ask us to just grit

our teeth and suffer through it. When God approaches

marital problems, He does so from the perspective of how
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to fix them, not on how to dissolve the marriage. For

example He does talk about demonic impact in marriages

(1 Corinthians 7:5). He states that the couple should be

active in the sexual relationship so that Satan cannottempt them. He encourages husbands to treat their wives

with understanding so that their prayers will not be

hindered (1 Peter 3:7). From these accounts we can see

that marriage is a spiritual battlefield. This means that it

will take work to fight for the relationship, not to fight in

the relationship.

God encourages us toward reconciliation. Matthew 18:15-

16 encourages open honest communication that deals

with hurts and frustrations caused by sin. It even

encourages us to get help to resolve such things. God

also encourages us to have our joy in Him (Philippians 4).

Joy is a superior experience to happiness. Happiness is

temporal and temporary, but joy rises above all

circumstances and lasts for eternity. Joy is something you

can have regardless of conditions. God gives some very

good guidelines for joy, and none of them requires a

spouse to cooperate. A spouse does not control our

capacity to have joy or peace.James 1:3-4 tells us that

deep, abiding joy comes as we persevere through trials,

with Gods help, and our faith matures and is

strengthened. Mere happiness tends to be fleeting and

depends upon temporal factors like circumstances or

other people. Joy, on the other hand, is true contentment

that comes from internal factors like our faith in the Lord.

True joy is everlasting and not dependent upon
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circumstances. The book of Philippians is a great study in

the difference between joy and happiness. Written by the

Apostle Paul while imprisoned in Rome, this book uses

the words joy, rejoice, and joyful 16 times andteaches us how to have true contentment in Jesus Christ,

despite our circumstances. In chains and aware that his

life was coming to an end, Paul talks about his faith and

trust in Christ and how it had changed his whole

perspective on suffering.

God has given husbands clear-cut instructions

in Ephesians 5:25-28: "Husbands, love your wives, even

as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it....

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He

that loves his wife loves himself." To wives, His

instruction is to respect their husbands (v. 33)

and both are to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21).

If both are living up to their biblical responsibilities, there

will be joy and happiness in the marriage. What woman

wouldnt respect and submit to a man who loves her the

way Christ loves His church? And what man wouldnt love

a woman who respects and submits to him? The

unhappiness that is present in too many marriages is a

result of one or both parties refusing to submit to God

and obey His revealed will for marriage.

Even if the unhappiness results from a believer being

married to an unbeliever, there is always the possibility

the believing wife can lead her unbelieving husband to

the Lord by her chaste conduct and kind demeanor.
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Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands

so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may

be won over without words by the behavior of their wives

when they see the purity and reverence of your lives (1Peter 3:1). The Bible specifically addresses those who are

married to unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14: If any

brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing

to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman

has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to

live with her, she must not divorce him. For the

unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his

wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified

through her believing husband

In the end, we must remember that "the eyes of the Lord

are over the righteous, and His ears are open to their

prayers; but the face of the Lord is against them that do

evil" (1 Peter 3:12). God knows the pain of an unhappy

marriage, and He understands fleshly desires, but He has

given His Word to us on this matter and He does ask for

obedience. Obedience to God always brings joy (Romans

16:19).
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What Does the Bible Say About an Unhappy Marriage