Nguyet Minh Tran

Soc 235

Professor Erica Dixon

August 17, 2010

Friendships? a very important kind of personal relationship between

people and people.

Having a friend meanings having someone to talk to, to hang out with, to share our ups and downs, do things for each other’s sake and sometimes, it simply just means having fun together without worrying about anything else

Different people with different races, religions, beliefs, genders and backgrounds might have different definitions and expectations about and for their friendship

there’s a big difference between what is shared and what not between men and women in their friendships with other people

BACKGROUND A survey about men performance was taken by the

University of California, Sacramento

A sample of 98 men, including 40 school teachers and 58 enlisted personnel military was selected to do an eight-pages survey about their friendships and social expectations.

questions involving the importance in friendships are: sharing interests, sharing activities, sharing experiences, emotional availability, sharing thoughts and feelings dividing into two distinct factors: masculine - instrumental

feminine - expressive.

The Instrumental Factor The instrumental factor, or activity-based component

of friendship represents the importance for common interests, activities and experiences that entail a close friendship.

share activities (.95)

share interests (.85)

share experiences (.75)

The Expressive factor The expressive, or emotional component of friendship

conveys the importance

of self-disclosure and emotional intimacy within a close friendship, which is

often associated with femininity. The measurement portion of the model revealed a

highly salient factor: share feelings (.98)

share thoughts (.90)

emotional availability (.93)

HYPOTHESISWhile it is easier for men to make friends and create new

friendships, they rarely share personal information and talk to their friends like women do.

METHODS AND PROCEDURES Subjects: 20 males and 20 females were selected

randomly. Age range from 17 to 44:

20 of them are from 17 to 20

10 are from 21 to 25

4 from 26 to 32

6 are from 33 to 44

All are college students or recently graduated from college, working part-time or full-time.

Methods and Procedures (cont) Methods: Participants are instructed to answer a sheet

of open questions focusing only friendship and the relationships that they hold with their best friends (very close friends).

They were all required to do it within one sitting and not allow to change and or correct the answer but basically just write down what right there on their mind after reading the questions.

Methods and Procedures (cont)Questions: 1. How old are you and what is your gender?

2. How many friends do you think you actually have? What’s their genders?

3. What do you usually do and talk to your friends? What not included?

4. How many hours per day do you think to spend with your friends, including talking, chatting and or hanging out together?

5. What do you expect from your friends?

6. What do you think are some of the most important components in friendship?

7. Do you think that you are a good friend?

RESULTSQuestions 1 and 2:Young adult (range from 17 to 25) usually have a lot of

friends, over hundreds that they consider friends and talk to recently and depends on the genders, it divide pretty much the same with male and female friends.

Young people seem to have just about the same amount of male and female friends and only 1 or 2 percent of them have more friends from the opposite sex.

To older participants, they have pretty seldom people that they actually call friends and talk to but they usually keep a very close relationships with those and those friendships seem to last for a pretty long time.

>>> there’s really no difference between men and women in making friends and keeping their long-term friendships with other people.

RESULTS (cont) Questions 3 and 4: there’s a big distinguish between my male and female

groups of examples. There’s a lot of variety of activities and things that women do together

with their friends, it sums up to a small amount of activities for men. Men seem to like go fishing, hiking and doing sports with each

other, especially those are from the age of 17 to 25. They enjoy themselves the most playing sports with each other either in a friendly or highly competitive environment.

While most of them refer a friendly environment just to exercise and hang out with their friends, some of them actually want at least one or two times per period to compete with each other in some kinds of activities.

Only 2 male participants (one is 30 and one is 44) actually talk a lot to his friends about life and other personal issues help them a lot to talk about those unsolved or difficult problems with their close

friends and get some suggestions or solutions from their friends. help them to relaxed more and less stress from all the work load and other people.

RESULTS (cont) Women rarely do any physical activities with their friends but

shopping, watching movies, having meals and talking to each other.

Women spend a great amount of time everyday talking to their friends about everything that happens to them and then spend almost the same amount of time listening to their friends in return.

Even though young teenagers spend more time shopping and gossiping with their friends than the elders but there’s really no significant differences between those two age groups.

Those women believe that friends tell each other secrets that they wouldn’t dream to do with anyone else, even their spouse or family members. This kind of action creates a deep and private connection between friends and make us become vulnerable to our friends and acknowledge the goodwill the others have.

RESULTS (cont) Questions 5, 6 and 7 help me to determine those

participant’s beliefs and expectations from their friendships which greatly shape their behaviors towards their friends in most cases.

Same answers for the question 5 and 6 for what do they expect from their friends and what do they think that are some of the most important components in their friendships with other people. expect their friends to do good (or apparently good) things

them spends time with them makes the same choices as them finds the same things pleasant and painful as them. expect their friends to be truthful and honest with them no

matter what.

RESULTS (cont) Men find it’s the most important for their friends to be

trustworthy and have the same interests as them

Women find it’s more important for their friends to be honest with them and can keep their secrets. It’s almost the very first item listed for answer of question number 5 from almost all women - the ability to keep secrets.

CONCLUSIONS It seems to me that it’s a lot more complicated to be friends with a

woman than a man. To a man, you just have to have some common interests and

favorite sports and physical activities to do and you’re good to go. To be a close friend of a woman, we have to be very

caring, trustworthy, sincere and a lot more to be qualified. Women share a lot with their friends, especially to their best

friends than to any body else in their lives, even spouses or relatives and family members.

Women pretty much live the same life with their best friends, they shop, eat and do things together and talk to one another about everything else. They believe in secrets that can bond two people closer while men believe that doing things together is already good enough.

In contrast with women, men share a lot of physical activities and rarely talk about personal issues with their friends.

REFERENCES Todd, Migliaccio. Men’s Friendships: Performances of

Masculinity. Retrieved from Ebscodatabase

Friendship (2009). Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Retrieved August 2, 2010 from http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/friendship/