21

02.

WHEN YOU’VE LOST THE CONTROL

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E-mail subject line: HELP! NO SERIOUSLY I’M DROWNING.

“How are you doing? I really need your help. I know you’ll

be choosing a winner soon for the organize your finances

competition, but would you be willing to help me along with

your winner? I am seriously drowning financially and I don’t

know what to do anymore. I am struggling between my

needs and my wants. I also have a lot of weddings this year.

I was hoping to have money saved up to move out. This

doesn’t seem realistic anymore. Any help or advice would

be awesome. I’ve tried the automated splitting, but I am

finding that I am dabbling between accounts to make ends

meet. I hope to hear from you soon.”

It was Friday, March 13. I was riding the train on my way

to work when I received the email above. At the time I

was offering an Organize Your Finances contest, where I

would choose one winner and work with them for free for 3

months to get their finances in order.

I love helping people, but I was afraid to work with some-

one one-on-one. I’d never coached anyone before. My men-

tor Derrick Duplessy was the one who suggested that I hold

this contest.

They always say that in order to grow, you have to do some-

thing that’s outside of your comfort zone. This is one of

those quotes that I’ve always agreed with. If I see this quote

on Instagram I’ll hit the like button and keep scrolling. It

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never occurred to me how true this quote was until I was

sitting across the conference table from my mentor.

Derrick: “What if you held a contest and choose a winner to

work with for three months to help them organize their fi-

nances?”

Me: “A contest? Wait no, I can’t work with someone one-on-

one. I’m not a financial advisor, I’m just a writer who helps

people with their finances. No, I only deal with my finances.

I can’t help someone else organize their finances.”

Derrick: “Yes you can, and you will. This will be good for

you. A little scary at first, but it will really teach you what

people are struggling with when it comes to their finances.”

I was upset leaving that meeting with my mentor. How

could he expect me to work one-on-one with someone? I

didn’t want to hold the contest. I was nervous. Isn’t there

another way to help people? What if I didn’t know how to

help them? What if they’re not in Boston?

Doubts quickly started to fill my head like a tall glass of wa-

ter. But Derrick was right. I had written a book that would

help people with their finances, but this contest would put

everything that I wrote in the book into practice. Or put my

money where my mouth is.

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Developing the ContestThe first week that passed, I procrastinated.

Thoughts of the contest would brush across my mind, but

my fear kept me stuck from really taking action. Finally I

decided to sit down and plan the contest. As I’m sure you’ve

probably heard a thousand times, the only way to get over

your fear is to do the exact thing that you’re afraid of doing.

Questions to AskFirst things first: I needed to come up with a list of ques-

tions to ask each candidate.

These needed to be questions that would help me gauge

what the person was really struggling with when it came to

their finances. I asked two questions:

1. What is your biggest financial obstacle?

2. What is your number one financial goal?

If I could go back, I would add a few more questions to the

list:

3. Why is money important to you?

4. One year from now I would feel better about my fi-

nances if...

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Question 1: What is your biggest financial obstacle?

It’s important to ask yourself what your biggest financial

obstacle is, because if you don’t identify a problem then it’s

going to be hard for you to make a change. You’ll keep mak-

ing the same money mistakes and wondering why you can’t

get ahead. Really sit there and think about it.

One of my biggest financial obstacles was wanting to look

as if I had money. I had to learn to be happy with having

money in my accounts and to accept that just because I

have money doesn’t mean I need to spend it on material

things.

We need to look at how you’ve previously been spending

your money and see if there are any areas that can be fixed.

My recommendation is for you to look at your past three

months of your credit card and bank account statements.

I know it may seem like a scary task, seeing how you’ve

spent your money, but it’s a very helpful exercise. When I

did this exact exercise, I was shocked to find that I’d spent

almost $600 on weave, wigs, haircuts, color, and hair prod-

ucts in the past 3 months. But I also saw that I did pretty

well when it came to groceries; I spent no more than $45.00

for food shopping each week. This amount was within my

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Contestants Starting Debt Chart

27

budget.

Thinking you know where all your money is going and actu-

ally seeing where all your money is going are two very dif-

ferent things. I knew I spent a lot of money on my hair, but

I had no idea I spent that much. I also thought that I spent

more money on groceries, but it turns out I’d been pretty

good at staying within my budget.

Question 2: What is your number one financial goal? Notice that I’m asking you to figure out your number one fi-

nancial goal. Not your top two, not your top three, just one!

I want you to identify one financial goal because you are

powerful when you are focused.

I’ll talk more about my debt challenge a little later, but I’ll

share this now: Before the challenge my debt wasn’t moving

because I wasn’t really focused on paying it off. Sure, I told

myself that one of my goals was to pay it off, but I wasn’t

really dedicated to it.

I had about seven other money goals that I was trying to ac-

complish at once. My focus was split, so I was making very

minimal progress on all of it.

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Having too many money goals at once is like having a lim-

ited amount of water and trying to water ten plants. Why

not just focus all of your energy, love, and attention on one

plant, and let that one flourish before moving on to the

next one? I’d rather have one great plant than 10 struggling

ones.

So for example, take debts. While you’re focused on getting

rid of one specific debt, pay the minimum amount toward

the rest of your debt.

The Ideal Person Now who is the ideal person I would want to work with?

Since my blog is called Young Yet Wise (But I also appreci-

ate the older and wise), I chose to work with someone who

was between the ages of 18 and 32.

The income level I set was in the range of $25,000-$65,000.

I chose $25,000 as the starting range and I chose $65,000 as

the cut off range because

someone who makes more that should already have a good

idea of handling their finances.

I also wanted to work with a single person who didn’t have

any children.

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I really love children; however, for this contest it would be

easier for me if I just focused on one person. Once we start

adding partners and children, it’s a whole different ball

game.

I set up my questionnaire for the contest on a Google form.

The ResponseWithin a few hours of posting, more than 10 people entered

my contest. I was shocked. I know 10 people may not seem

like a lot of people to you, but to me it was plenty. One

thing that shocked me while reading through the contes-

tants’ answers was that most of the people who entered the

contest weren’t from my hometown of Boston.

The Contestants and Their StrugglesMost of the contestants were struggling with the same ob-

stacles: Paying off debt and spending money on things that

they want, not what they need. Let’s look at three of these

responses.

Contestant 1, age 21-24:

What is your biggest financial obstacle? My biggest obsta-

cle is my income to debt ratio and creating a budget I can

actually follow while also saving. Since I became fully aware

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of my financial status at the end of last year, I’ve been mak-

ing better decisions regarding money and I am currently in

the process of trying to raise my income.

What is your number one financial goal? I am determined

to pay off credit card debt ($8,500) by the end of this year

and let my credit score soar! My second goal is to save to

purchase property in the end of 2016, in addition to invest-

ing, and mapping out a plan to pay off grad school debt

($60,000) in 5 years MAX. I need financial freedom! One day

I would like to enjoy my entire pay.

Contestant 2, age 24- 28:

What is your biggest financial obstacle? My biggest obsta-

cle is dipping into my savings. I end up saving just a few

hundreds of dollars only to end up withdrawing for some-

thing I want, or something I think I need. I really want to

begin investing and watch my money grow. When I get my

paycheck, I tend to always pay the bills first and have noth-

ing for me. By the end of the month I feel like I am waiting

for the next check. What am I doing wrong? Why do I only

have enough for gas the last week of the month?

What is your number one financial goal? My number one

goal is to pay off my credit card debt. All of them!

My second goal would be to begin investing. I know money

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isn’t everything but knowing how to use it, where to put it

etc., can be powerful. I like seeing what you’ve learned and

being able to work with you one on one would be a great

experience and help me to get on track.

Contestant 3, age 21- 24:

What is your biggest financial obstacle? My biggest finan-

cial obstacle is sticking to a budget and paying down my

debt without having the feeling that I am missing out on

life. I have a problem setting realistic goals. I can cut back

on what I want but my plan usually requires cutting them

all the way out. I also want to start investing to create a

safety net since I am new in my nursing career. My parents

have no money for retirement and that is a huge fear of

mine, but I have no idea of the best course of action for me

specifically. I know now is the time to lay a strong founda-

tion, but I am unaware of how.

What is your number one financial goal? My first goal is

to pay off my credit card bill, which I am currently working

on. Second goal is saving for a new car and third becoming

a lifelong investor.

Reaching Out I emailed each contestant letting them know that I wanted

to do a Google Hangout with each of them in order to really

understand how I could help them organize their finances.

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At the end of the 20-minute session, I would give them a

spreadsheet to keep so they could see exactly where their

money was going. After I met with each person, I would

choose a winner. For the Google Hangout session, I would

need to know each person’s income, monthly living expens-

es, and debt.

Not every person was able to meet during the scheduled

times, but for those who were able to meet after the Google

Hangout, I created a money chart for them so they could

visually see where their money was going.

Choosing a WinnerDeep breath. So after the long process, I finally chose a win-

ner. Her goals in the beginning were to pay off her credit

card debt, save up money to move out, and start investing.

After talking to her further, I mapped out a plan for the

next three months.

Set Up Your Financial GoalsI wanted her to just focus on getting rid of some of her

credit card debt, building up her emergency fund, gaining

discipline to not spend money on things that she doesn’t re-

ally need, and setting up a budget for the weddings that she

had to attend in the upcoming months.

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It was also important that she set up a separate account

where she could automate her savings.

Sometimes what we think our financial goals are and what

our financial goals should be are different. I wanted her to

really get a sense of how much debt she had, so I created a

visual debt so she could get a better picture. Once I showed

her the chart of all her debts, she was shocked.

Her response:

“Thanks for the chart. It’s a scary image, making me realize

I need to stand in my truth and be honest with myself and

take full responsibility for the financial mistakes I’ve made.

I look forward to talking with you tomorrow, and will make

my automatic deposits adjustments for my savings.”

Figure Out Your Exact Debt AmountIt’s extremely important to realize exactly how much debt

you have, so that you can figure out a plan to get rid of it.

Too often we don’t get it written down because we don’t

want to know the real number, but it’s the only way to make

progress.

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Q&A

I asked the winning contestant to

answer a few questions about the

contest. Her responses are below.

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DiscoveriesMy client didn’t realize how much of her money was going

toward food. Instead of spending money on food, I want-

ed her to spend that money toward her debt. For the first

month, the goal was to have her pay off her Victoria’s Secret

card, put $100 toward her Sprint bill, and put another $100

toward Bob’s. She also had a wedding coming up, so she put

some money aside to pay for a dress.

Putting the Plan to Work

Can you go over some of your financial goals at the be-

ginning?

At first I wanted to start investing, but after talking to Can-

dice, I realized I needed to lower eliminate my credit debt.

I needed money for emergencies – which always seems to

happen (for instance today I had to purchase a new tire for

my car) and finding ways to cut down my student loans.

Did your goals change toward the end?

Not really, just the focus. I still want to invest and I have

found other smaller tools to do so, like a 401k savings,

Acorns, and just learning about stocks. Though my money

isn’t going to investing at the moment, educating myself

now is a good start and can be done for free with the Inter-

net and the library – do people still use those? If not, they

are missing out big time; forget Amazon prime and free

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two-day delivery.

What is your major goal?

My major goal is to owe no one. I want to be debt-free. I’ve

seen my mother struggle for a long time and she has a hus-

tler’s spirit. Things always end up being ok in the end, but I

don’t want my future to be this way.

What was your biggest aha moment?

I’m not too sure that I had one. Perhaps I’m not sure what

type of aha moment you mean.

I know that having someone I needed to report to each

month to let them know my progress helped keep me ac-

countable. I didn’t want Candice to feel like she was wasting

her time with me. Time is precious and I wouldn’t want her

to dismiss me nor would I want to disappoint her.

Maybe an aha moment was when I recently read a post –

your 9-5 won’t help you become a millionaire. I know this,

but hearing it through your periscope videos and reading it

on your blog, something clicked.

For some time now I’ve been working on building my blog

in hopes to gain passive income through designing logos,

and hand lettered pieces over at www.doniastudio.co.

Another aha moment is that financial literacy isn’t taught to

everyone. I was born to immigrant parents. I didn’t learn to

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balance a checkbook until I started working at a bank. How

sad is that? These are the life skills that need to be taught

in elementary and high school. Students need to learn

ahead of time what they are getting themselves into, espe-

cially with the student loans. Let me not get started about

the education system, and how easy it is to get a credit card

or student loans.

So many people are struggling to make ends meet today.

Students are leaving college with $60,000 to $100,000 in

student loan debt with a job that pays $30,000 a year. With

rent, food, entertainment, transportation, and other neces-

sities, how would you ever pay $100,000 back?

My mom always told me to figure it out – and I realize she

just didn’t have the answers. I’m going to figure out how to

retire and not have to still work a job I’m not fond of.

Did you feel that meeting with me each month was

helpful?

Absolutely, I was nervous and scared when we were com-

ing to an end. While I know what to do, having someone to

check in on me, see where my money is going, and give me

tips on what to improve helps. I still feel the need at times

to check in by letting Candice know what’s going on with

my finances.

While money isn’t everything, I just don’t like the feeling of

owing anyone. It’s like someone waving this dark cloud over

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me. Throughout out the entire process Candice was very en-

couraging which was also helpful.

What have you changed about your finances since the

contest?

Delaying my wants

Delaying my wants is another big thing. We live in such an

instant gratification world. Whatever happened to focus-

ing on what we need? I can’t remember the last time I pur-

chased a pair of shoes (other than the wedding). Last week-

end I purchased a pair of jeans, because I needed them. As

in, I only had one other pair and nothing else.

My boyfriend and I have found other ways to go on less ex-

pensive dates and I am on a frugality challenge. I just need-

ed to cut back and invest in other places like my savings

and my health.

One of the biggest changes was paying Amex twice a month.

I can avoid the accumulated interest which at times is any-

where between $15-25 depending on the balance.

I’ve knocked so much more down toward my credit cards.

Now, I no longer have an outstanding bill with Sprint.

I realized that there are so many things we can do for free

and still enjoy ourselves. Because of this, I cut back on eat-

ing out.

My biggest take-away

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If I don’t have the cash to purchase what I want, then I don’t

need it. Credit cards are a tool, and they are great when

you know how to use them. You can get that 50% off with

out the interest rates, by charging the card and paying it

the same time you charged it. If you don’t have the money,

don’t spend it.

Lastly, let your friends know your situation. Maybe they are

in a better financial place, and they can help you out.

My interest has peaked with financial literacy, business, and

understanding of how this all works. Thanks for the book

recommendations and thanks for taking the time to work

with me.

My goal for 2016 is to live off of one paycheck out of the

month and put the rest in savings. I will keep you posted on

how that goes.

One Year Later

A year after the contest, I got an update from the winner.

Here’s what she wrote:

Hey Candice!

I have some updates for you:

I’ve paid off my American Express, Victoria’s Secret, Bobs

Furniture, and one Sallie Mae loan.

( I didn’t owe her too much!)

I didn’t have anything in collections.

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I continue to contribute to my 401k and increased it by one

percent.

And by November I’ll have 12k in savings.

Remember your ROTH IRA tree that I downloaded from

your website? Yea I pretty much will have two of them filled

out. Thanks for that.

I do need to start with stocks – I’m still a bit afraid to dip

into that. Planning to begin investing in stocks in January.

I have to tally up my student loan debt balance (making a

few payments this week).

Key Take-Aways

Well, there you have it, folks: A full testimony. These are the

biggest money mistakes that were keeping my client living

paycheck to paycheck. She was fed up and decided some-

thing had to change: Her mindset and her habits. She had to

decide that her goals were more important than her instant

gratifications.

Are the goals you say you want to achieve really the

goals that matter at the moment?

The contestant had a ton of goals they wanted to achieve

41

she wanted to move out, start investing, and pay off her

credit card debt. However, she also had a few weddings

coming up that she needed to save for.

I know sometimes every goal you have may seem super ur-

gent, but the truth is you are more powerful when you’re

focused on few goals at a time (and by “a few,” I really mean

one). While you are focused on your major goal, you should

still be putting money aside in your savings and investing

accounts. In her situation, debt was a major obstacle she

had to overcome, but she also had to take a good look at

her current money habits.

Looking at Where You Currently Stand When you looked over your previous 3 months of bank and

credit card statements, what did you find? Where were you

leaking the most money? Is there any way you can pull back

and use that money towards your debt?

Once you get the ball rolling and get serious about your

money, it becomes fun. You get addicted to seeing prog-

ress and want to keep going until you reach your goal. Who

would’ve thought the person who emailed me telling me

they were drowning would have paid off American Express,

Victoria’s Secret, Bobs Furniture, one Sallie Mae loan, her

bill in collections, and saved up almost $12,000 in savings

42

and is continuing to put money towards her 401K? If it is

possible for her to make so much progress in one year, it is

definitely possible for you. The question really boils down

to this: How much do you want it?

Can’t get enough? For more thoughts on this chapter be

sure to check out the video I created for you. You can see it

here.

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ework

When you looked over your previous 3 months of bank

and credit card statements, was there anything you were

surprised to see?

Are the goals you say you want to achieve really the

goals that matter at the moment?