Workbook

Copyright Redlands Centre for Women Inc 2015

#girlgoals

- Workbook -

Name: ___________________


Welcome! We’re excited that you’re reading this and participating in this course. Where you’re at in life right now can be a difficult transition – growing into a young woman and starting the journey to adulthood. This course is run over 5 sessions and each session we’ll discover together some aspects about ourselves and how we can be the best we can be. The 5 sessions are:

1. Valuing ourselves 2. Wellness starts within 3. Building more resilence 4. Healthy Relationships 5. Success starts now

In each session we’ll view some videos, discuss some things learn some stuff, and do some group activities and we will use this workbook to answer some questions. You do not have to show or share your answers to anyone, but if you want to rest assure what is discussed in the group, stays within the group. During this course there are no wrong answers. You will get out of it what you put in. Some course #groundrules for you to understand:

Your facilitator is experienced and confidential This is a SAFE environment If you disclose something that indicates you or someone else may

be in danger, the Facilitator has a duty of care to take action. We really hope that by the end of the course you will feel inspired to be happy, living your values and looking to the future with positivity. It’s lovely to have you on board for the journey. Warm regards, Katrina Beutel Founder Redlands Centre for Women


Week 1 – Valuing ourselves This week is about establishing our foundations. Just like a house needs

solid foundations to withstand the test of time, so do you. Foundations are

built around having a belief in ourselves, an understanding of who we are

and what guides us. Ultimately, values help shape our decisions and actions.

1. What are our beliefs about ourselves? Write down what you think

about yourself. Hint: this isn’t about your hair/skin etc – it’s about

your abilities, behaviour, attitude etc

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Let’s identify the negatives and the positives.

Negatives____________________Positives_____________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Let’s turn the negatives into positives (positive statements) e.g. I

am not good at maths. I am able to get a maths tutor if I want to

learn more about maths OR I am really good at English and hope to

use that in my career one day. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. When are you most happy? (Where are you? What are you doing?

Who are you with?) Discuss in the group.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. What gives you the greatest feelings of achievement and success?

(Were you proud? Who shared in your pride?) Discuss in the group.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. When are you most fulfilled and satisfied? (What need has been

fulfilled? How or why has this experience given you satisfaction?

What else contributed to this?)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Who are some friends, teachers, leaders, parents, siblings you look

up to – and why?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. Group Activity

“Try not to become a person of success but a person of value.”

Values are the foundation that allows you to achieve your full potential.

Values ultimately define who we are. Our values impact every decision we

make or don’t make.

Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don't have strict limits or

boundaries. Also, as you move through life, your values may change. For

example, when you start your career after school, success – measured by

money and status – might be a top priority. But after you have a family,


work-life balance may be what you value more.

As your definition of success changes, so do your personal values. This is

why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should

continuously revisit this, especially if you start to feel unbalanced and you

can't quite figure out why.

As you go through the exercise below, bear in mind that values that were

important in the past may not be relevant now.

Over the page is a long list of possible values you may choose to adopt.


Accountability

Accuracy

Achievement

Adventurousness

Altruism

Ambition

Assertiveness

Balance

Being the best

Belonging

Boldness

Calmness

Carefulness

Challenge

Cheerfulness

Clear-mindedness

Commitment

Community

Compassion

Competitiveness

Consistency

Contentment

Continuous Improvement

Contribution

Control

Cooperation

Correctness

Courtesy

Creativity

Curiosity

Decisiveness

Democratic

Dependability

Determination

Devoutness

Diligence

Discipline

Discretion

Diversity

Dynamism

Economy

Effectiveness

Efficiency

Elegance

Empathy

Enjoyment

Enthusiasm

Equality

Excellence

Excitement

Expertise

Exploration

Expressiveness

Fairness

Faith

Family oriented

Fidelity

Fitness

Fluency

Focus

Freedom

Fun

Generosity

Goodness

Grace

Growth

Happiness

Hard Work

Health

Helping Society

Holiness

Honesty

Honor

Humility

Independence

Ingenuity

Inner Harmony

Inquisitiveness

Insightfulness

Intelligence

Intellectual Status

Intuition

Joy

Justice

Leadership

Legacy

Love

Loyalty

Making a difference

Mastery

Merit

Obedience

Openness

Order

Originality

Patriotism

Perfection

Piety

Positivity

Practicality

Preparedness

Professionalism

Prudence

Quality-orientation

Reliability

Resourcefulness

Restraint

Results-oriented

Rigor

Security

Self-actualization

Self-control

Selflessness

Self-reliance

Sensitivity

Serenity

Service

Shrewdness

Simplicity

Soundness

Speed

Spontaneity

Stability

Strategic

Strength

Structure

Success

Support

Teamwork

Temperance

Thankfulness

Thoroughness

Thoughtfulness

Timeliness

Tolerance

Traditionalism

Trustworthiness

Truth-seeking

Understanding

Uniqueness

Unity

Usefulness

Vision

Vitality


1. Write down what you believe your values may be? (say between 5

and 10 words)

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Prioritise them to top 5-6.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now let’s create our own Values CHART – using card/words/decorations.

This is for you to take home and keep.



Week 2 – Wellness Starts Within

This week we are going to focus on you and your body-image. We’re going

to understand our own body awareness and practise self-acceptance.

We’re going to talk about health and wellness. We’re going to talk about

nutrition, exercise, skincare, mindfulness and how to focus on yourself

with self-care.

1. What are the 5 things you like most about yourself (in terms of

your body image)? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. What are the 5 things you least like about yourself (in terms of

your body image)? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


3. Group Discussion - How can we look to either change those things

OR change our attitude around those things? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Self Care - What do we do to take care of ourselves? Name 5 things

that you like to do for your body and mind. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Self Care - What is our view on alcohol and drugs in our bodies?

Let’s discuss this as a group. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Who are our role models for our body – and why? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. What are our health and wellness top 5 priorities? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Let’s create our own personal (spiritual wellness) mandala.

A mandala is a sacred space, often a circle, which reveals inner truth about you and the world around you.


Homework

Healthy Habits.

Let’s see how you can impact yourself and your family by producing one

healthy meal, a healthy day or a healthy week (could be breakfast, lunch or

dinner). Ideas include:

Breakfast

– Avocado smash on toast

– Healthy smoothie

– Porridge with a fruit yoghurt

– Omelet

Lunch

- Healthy wrap

- Salad

- Fruit platter

Dinner

- Fish and salad

- Chicken and veggies

- Rice, beans dish

Come up with a menu and tell us what you prepared. Can you commit to

cooking one meal per week for your family?


Week 3 – Increasing Resilience

Life can be stressful and you need to develop skills to cope with peer

pressure, study, family relationships, bullying and more. This week, we’re

going to focus on how to build more resilience. You already have some –

everybody does! It may be time to develop more!

We’re also going to work on how to learn to cope with rejection,

disappointment and stress.

1. Let’s start with remembering a tough time. You might have had a major

disappointment, a physical injury, a stressful family time. Describe the

situation and describe how it made you feel. Acknowledge your feelings.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. How did you get through that situation? What skills did you adopt?

What did you learn? How would you do things differently if it was to

happen again? Looking back on it now, how can you see things positively

from the experience? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Look back at your life history. Can you see some major changes that you

have had? Change is part of life. List 2-3 major changes you’ve had and

that you have got through. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Looking at your life now, what things get you down or cause you anxiety? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Coping strategies - Write down 5 ways you reduce stress or de-stress?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Write down 5 ways you can ‘reach out’ to others? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resilient people often do a number of things. Here are some ways resilient

people act that may provide ideas for you to develop your own resilience:

- Learn to see opportunity in all things

- Accept change as part of living


- Keep things in perspective

- Be realistic

- Maintain a healthy lifestyle through physical activity, eating well

and doing stuff they enjoy

- Nurture a positive self view

- Maintain supportive relationships and spend time with others

- Learn communication skills

- Create strategies to self soothe

- Take action and work towards goals when needed

- Talk to someone and get help if/when needed

- Develop an attitude of tolerance, acceptance and flexibility

7. I have, I am, I can

I HAVE _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I AM _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I CAN _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


8. Who is your #squad? The people you rely on to talk things through

with, who can help you with your worries/stresses? GROUP DISCUSSION

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9. Can you think of how you can help others? GROUP DISCUSSION

#Grandparents/Elderly

#Pets

#Community

#Neighbours ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. Write down 5 things you are grateful for?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Group Activity

Create a weekly timetable.

Block out time for:

- Friends

- Self Care (body)

- De-stress

- Fitness

- School

- Study

- Extra-curricular activities

- Part-time work

- Healthy eating

- Helping others


- Spending time with pets/animals


Homework

This week we are asking you to think about how you can make a difference

to others around you. We’d like you to pick a project and focus on how you

can contribute and how you can ‘give back’. Essentially, you will need to

volunteer your time to help out (what is it that you could do/how could you

help)?

It could be around helping at:

- School

- Sports Club/Group

- Pets/animals

- People with a disability

- Neighbourhood

- Church

- Other community

To help you get started, think about what things you are passionate about

or what things ‘irk’ you that you would like to change/help with?

What are you going to do to MAKE A DIFFERENCE?


Week 4 – Healthy Relationships

This week we focus on how our values align with our decisions and

behaviours. We’re going to look at healthy relationships and the

importance of these and also how to minimise risk.

1. Let’s recap on values. How do values impact our decisions around our

behaviour and our choice in friends? Group Discussion. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Let’s talk friendships – girls and boys? What do we look for in a friend?

Write down 5 of your top traits. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Group Discussion – has a friend ever influenced you to do something you

didn’t really want to do. What was it? Why did it make you not feel so

good?


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Let’s talk relationships.

Do we have a partner? Would we like a partner? What are we looking for in

a relationship? Write down qualities and traits. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now let’s analyse what we want in a FRIEND vs a PARTNER. How are they

different? Why are they different? GROUP DISCUSSION ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Let’s talk about acceptable behaviours in a partner? What is acceptable? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What isn’t? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Are boys and girls equal? What would you like to see change? What do you

believe in? GROUP DISCUSSION ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Going out with friends/partners.

Do we have rules for our safety and personal security? Group Discussion ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Social Media -

Group Discussion – Let’s talk about social media and the impact it has on

your time, feelings and overall self-confidence.

How much time a day do you spend on social media? What else could you be

doing?

Do you feel you are missing out when you are not on social media/cannot

access it? Why?

How do your posts reflect you?

Do you put up posts that you want other people to pay attention to?

Do your posts align with your values?

How do our values align with our social media posts?

Lastly, let’s talk about privacy – do you understand your privacy settings

and why this is important?


Group Activity

Today we’re going to create a vision board. We’re going to put

words/pictures of the qualities/traits we want to have in our relationships

and social activities:

#mysquad Vision Board – 4 quadrants…

1. Friends

2. Partners

3. My social media expression

4. Hobbies/interests

Take a large piece of card and create 4 quadrants or circles. Cut

words/images or create words/images you want to express your ideal

relationships, expressions of yourself or things you want to pursue.

Remember to align these with your values!

Homework (optional)

A mock trust conversation with mum and dad if you feel comfortable.

Imagine this scenario. A boy at school is having a party. All of your friends

have been invited. So have you. You really want to go. You know there will

probably be alcohol there – maybe drugs (you don’t know). Somebody you

really like is going. Let’s talk about the following:

- Will you be allowed to go?

- How will you get there – to and from?

- What time can you stay out till?

- What will you wear?

- What will you say to your parents about the alcohol and drugs?

- What about the boys?

- What are you prepared to compromise on?



Week 5 – Being Confident

Confidence is a by product of four phases that you can work on:

Centre – understanding where you are today

Investment – what you have to do to build confidence in yourself

Practice – you have to practice!

Reflection – you have to reflect on what you have learned

1. Centre – let’s see how you feel. What 5 words describe you? What

makes you unique? What are your best qualities? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. What makes you insecure? What causes you to be insecure?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. What situations make you confident? What contributes to your

confidence?


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Investments – what investments can you make in yourself to be more

confident?

_____________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Practice – what situations can you practice your confidence or being

more confident?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Reflection – what lessons can I learn from my mistakes/achievements? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Write down 5 mantras you want to say to yourself. Eg.

I am determined and motivated and nothing stops me.

I feel great and I am ready for anything.

I love life and life loves me back.

Today I am on top of the world and anything is possible.

I go for my goals and I reach them. Nothing stands in my way.

I am not afraid of anything or anyone. I feel confident and assertive.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


8. Your beliefs

What you believe you can do can severely hamper your progress at work and

in your personal life or it can help you to reach amazing goals. How many

times a day do you use limiting statements or hear them used around the

school or at home?

At school you might hear:

• ‘That’s the way it’s always been done.’

• ‘You won’t get anywhere by rocking the boat.’

• ‘When I was your age, blah, blah, blah.’

• ‘Women will never get ahead.’

• ‘You need a degree to get ahead in this world today.’

• ‘It’s not what you know in this organisation, it’s who you know.’

At home you might hear:

• ‘You’re just like your old man – untidy!’

• ‘Why can’t you be more like your older sister?’

• ‘You’ll go nowhere with that attitude.’

• ‘The middle child always struggles.’

• ‘The youngest is always spoilt.’

Rather than remind yourself of the “missings,” you must begin to

proactively look for ways to, as they say, “accentuate the positive and

eliminate the negative” in your thinking as well as in your speech. For

example, start using phrases like:

• I am good at . . .

• When I try hard I can . . .

• I am capable of . . .

• Thank you for the compliment!

• I deserve it.

In learning to fill in the blanks for these statements (and repeating them

to yourself several times a day) you are re-designing the internal feedback

system.

Your negative self talk

List every single limiting belief you have relating to all the aspects of your

life, your career, your relationships, your finances and your family. Then

write down your brand new, magnificent and amazing beliefs.


Negative Belief New Belief ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 9. Goal wheel

Think of the wheel in terms of:

•Family – your immediate family

•Social – your friends/activities/interests

•Intellectual - your study/your development

•Physical – your wellness/fitness

•Financial - your money

•Future - after school

•Spiritual – your faith/religion


What do you hope to accomplish next week, month, next 3 months,

next year? What sort of life do you want to lead? What do you want

to be doing? What do you want to have? Where do you want to be?

Write down your goals for the future – no more than 5 each:

Family goals ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Social goals ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Intellectual goals ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Physical goals ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Financial goals ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Future goals ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Spiritual goals ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Group Activity

Let’s create a fun, positive quotes board.

We have selected a whole heap of quotes for you to choose from and it’s

your job to decide which ones you like the most/need the most (challenge

yourself here). Pick them out, arrange them and create your board.

We will then arrange to get your quotes board printed for you – and you

can collect it shortly.

Homework

This week we are going to leave you with a challenge to create a safe and

serene space at home – your bedroom. It may already be perfect for you,

but for some of you it may not.


What are some things you can do in your bedroom to:

- Allow you to de-stress and relax

- Be more organised for each day/week

- Have a better study environment

- Practice gratitude

- Be comfortable for a good night’s sleep

- Give you a good reading position/light

- Feel happy and content

Ideas include:

- Candle/Oil burner

- Wall planner

- Tidy desk – organised files

- Tidy drawers/cupboard

- A bean bag

- A good reading light

- A new bed pillow (Pillows should be no more than 2 years old)

- Make your bed / Wash your sheets

- A good reading book

- A diary/journal


Documents

Workbook