World Literature

Friday, October 14, 2011

Today’s Targets

• Developing writing skills, focusing on persuasive writing– Blending evidence/quotes– Integrating commentary into body paragraphs

Today’s Activities

1. Warm-up and introduction checks2. Examples of blending quotes, commentary,

and transitions3. Work on drafts4. HOMEWORK: Continue work on drafts– Periods 4 and 6 drafts due Tuesday– Period 5 draft due Wednesday

Warm-up

1. Write your name on the rubric. It is worth points to turn it in with your final.

2. Look over your pre-write and the rubric.3. Highlight or underline key points on the rubric.4. Answer the question: What do you need to do with

your ideas and organization in order to make sure that those pieces of your essay will be proficient?

Have your introduction out for me to stamp and check off.

Blending in evidence/quotesIf the paragraph began with: “While the defense has argued that the landlady is insane, evidence and expert witness testimony clearly disprove this claim.”

•Avoid including quotes that have no context or are just stuck into your paragraph. This is ineffective.Example: “I love to stuff all my little pets myself when they pass away” (Dahl 34).

•Set up the quote. Give it an introduction and blend it in with your own sentence. This works.Example: According to the psychologist’s testimony, in his interview with the landlady, she stated, “I stuff all my little pets myself when they pass away” (Dahl 34).

•Consider using brackets to change a word so that the writing flows more smoothly. This is more effective.Example: According to the psychologist’s testimony, in his interview with the landlady, she stated that she would “stuff all [her] little pets [herself] when they pass away” (Dahl 34).

Creating Commentary• Purpose: To explain how the evidence proves

your argument.• Remember to always answer the question: HOW

does this evidence prove my argument?• This is an essential component in writing any

form of essay.• Some teachers call it commentary, some call it

analysis. • Ways to do this: elaborate, expand on an idea,

explain

Example of commentary/rebuttal based on Roald Dahl’s “The Landlady”

While the defense has argued that the landlady’s stuffing of the victims is a sign of insanity, evidence and expert witness testimony clearly disprove this claim. It may be difficult for us to comprehend how a sane person could do this to another human being, but she was sane. With a clear mind, she used these poor boys to practice her taxidermy skills. According to the psychologist’s testimony, in his interview with the landlady, she stated that she would “stuff all [her] little pets [herself] when they pass away” (Dahl 34). Don’t be fooled by the defense’s attempts to spin this statement as a sign of her insanity. This statement is instead a sign of the low value that the defendant places on human life. She saw the victims at the same level as animals, as trophies of her taxidermy. While this may be sick and grotesque, do not excuse her actions as justified by reason of insanity.

Antithesis/Rebuttal• “The antithesis is when you acknowledge or consider the

opposing viewpoint, conceding something that has some merit. Source: (“Writing”)

• Rebuttal is when your own argument proves the other side to be flawed, and shows your argument is stronger.” Source: (“Writing”)

• While in junior high, you may have stated this in your conclusion, now that you are in high school, this needs to be integrated in to the body paragraphs of your essay.

• You can do this with each of your body paragraphs or only have one body paragraph that states the opposing argument then goes on to prove how that opposing side is wrong.

Antithesis/RebuttalTransitional Phrases

• “It is true that…however…therefore…• Certainly…but…in short…• Admittedly…on the other hand…so…• Of course…nevertheless…as a result…• Obviously…on the contrary…finally…• While…however…in addition…”

Source: (“Writing”)

Developing More Sophisticated Transitions

Weak transitions words• It’s time to move on

from “first,” “secondly,” “Thirdly,” “In conclusion.” From now on, you will avoid those forms of transition.

More sophisticated transition words

• Furthermore• Additionally• In contrast or on the contrary• Similarly• Therefore• Consequently • As a result• In fact

Conclusions

• Begin conclusions by restating your thesis in a new way. Look back to the pink thesis pattern handout for examples.

• Recap key ideas.• Finish with a strong call to action. In this case,

this is your last opportunity to tell the jury what you want them to do in the case of Mary Maloney.

HOMEWORK

Finish draftsPeriods 4 and 6 drafts due Tuesday, 10/18

Period 5 draft due Wednesday, 10/19

Works Cited

"Writing." Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. Web. 14 Oct. 2011. <http://www.k12.wa.us/Writing/Assessment/Module-HighPersuasive.aspx>.