Writing a Winning Personal Writing a Winning Personal StatementStatement

11th Annual NC OPT-ED Alliance Day 11th Annual NC OPT-ED Alliance Day Tuesday, October 16, 2011Tuesday, October 16, 2011

James E. Raynor, Jr., Ph.D.James E. Raynor, Jr., Ph.D.Associate Professor & Dir. of FSU-RISE Associate Professor & Dir. of FSU-RISE

Program Program Fayetteville State UniversityFayetteville State University

Objectives of WorkshopObjectives of Workshop Describe the purpose of a Personal Describe the purpose of a Personal

StatementStatement Discuss the components of a well-written Discuss the components of a well-written

Personal StatementPersonal Statement Review an example of a winning Review an example of a winning

personal statementpersonal statement

What information does the selection What information does the selection committee use to make their decisions?committee use to make their decisions?

What Committees Look What Committees Look For in For in Personal StatementsPersonal Statements

A story! A mental picture of who you A story! A mental picture of who you are as a person as it relates to your “fit” for are as a person as it relates to your “fit” for

grad or professional school for your future grad or professional school for your future professionprofession

Maturity, self-knowledge, purpose, driveMaturity, self-knowledge, purpose, drive

Evidence you’ve done your homeworkEvidence you’ve done your homework

Writing skills and articulateness Writing skills and articulateness

Kinds of Personal Kinds of Personal StatementsStatements

1) 1) General, Comprehensive StatementsGeneral, Comprehensive Statements Allows you latitude to write freely.Allows you latitude to write freely.

2) 2) Response to a specific questionResponse to a specific question Less latitude, but still important to be Less latitude, but still important to be

thoughtful and persuasive.thoughtful and persuasive.

Sample QuestionsSample Questions““The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Plato.The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Plato.

In light of this quotation, please discuss a decision In light of this quotation, please discuss a decision you have made which has had a profound you have made which has had a profound influence on your present circumstances. In influence on your present circumstances. In hindsight, would you have made a different hindsight, would you have made a different decision? Please explain. decision? Please explain. (Haas School/Berkeley) (Haas School/Berkeley)

How would you characterize the effects of your How would you characterize the effects of your contributions to the groups or organizations in contributions to the groups or organizations in which you have participated? which you have participated? (Yale)(Yale)

Developing your Developing your personal statementpersonal statement

1)1) Discuss the development of your interest (anecdote)Discuss the development of your interest (anecdote)2)2) Sell your unique strengths, leadership qualities, Sell your unique strengths, leadership qualities,

experience, and academic preparation for the experience, and academic preparation for the position or experienceposition or experience

3)3) How will this experience contribute to the success How will this experience contribute to the success of your future (outlined) plans/career goalsof your future (outlined) plans/career goals

4)4) Describe your “fit” with school/ AssurancesDescribe your “fit” with school/ Assurances

1.) Discuss the development of your interest as an 1.) Discuss the development of your interest as an anecdote.anecdote.

• Describe SPECIFIC experiences that helped you explore and Describe SPECIFIC experiences that helped you explore and identify your career interestidentify your career interest

• Significant role models and influences?Significant role models and influences?• This will demonstrate you are committed for the long haul.This will demonstrate you are committed for the long haul.

“The passing of my mother and grandmother from breast cancer when I was 15 years old opened my eyes to a new perspective on life. I became intensely interested in scientific research with aspirations to better understand and possibly find a cure for cancer.”

Would this be an good anecdote Would this be an good anecdote for a personal statement?for a personal statement?

Every since I could remember, my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncle Every since I could remember, my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncle sand great grandparents, on my father side, pressured my cousins and me sand great grandparents, on my father side, pressured my cousins and me to be a medical doctor. When I graduated high school with honors, to be a medical doctor. When I graduated high school with honors, everyone insisted that I would “be the one” who should be the doctor. To everyone insisted that I would “be the one” who should be the doctor. To my family’s disappointment, I decided to major in criminal justice- a field my family’s disappointment, I decided to major in criminal justice- a field that was more aligned with my interest and personality. However, that was more aligned with my interest and personality. However, strangely enough, my first college part-time job was at the local hospital strangely enough, my first college part-time job was at the local hospital as a nurse assistant. After a few months, I was promoted pay and my as a nurse assistant. After a few months, I was promoted pay and my responsibilities now also included collecting laboratory samples responsibilities now also included collecting laboratory samples throughout the hospital for testing. After spending some time observing throughout the hospital for testing. After spending some time observing doctors perform their duties, it dawned on me that this is something that I doctors perform their duties, it dawned on me that this is something that I could do as a career. I finally submitted to my family’s dream. I graduated could do as a career. I finally submitted to my family’s dream. I graduated with a B.S. in biology with a 3.8 GPA and earned a 32 on the MCAT. I am with a B.S. in biology with a 3.8 GPA and earned a 32 on the MCAT. I am now ready to accept the challenge of medical school to become a medical now ready to accept the challenge of medical school to become a medical doctor.doctor.

Anecdotes Grab the Anecdotes Grab the Reader’s attention:Reader’s attention:

““The passing of my mother and grandmother from breast The passing of my mother and grandmother from breast cancer when I was 15 years old opened my eye to a whole cancer when I was 15 years old opened my eye to a whole new perspective on life.new perspective on life.””

““For the first 20 years of my life, my activities—and self-For the first 20 years of my life, my activities—and self-confidence—were circumscribed by the fact that I was a confidence—were circumscribed by the fact that I was a chronic, allergic, asthmatic.” (Med school applicant)chronic, allergic, asthmatic.” (Med school applicant)

““At first glance, the most remarkable thing about me At first glance, the most remarkable thing about me might seem to be the fact that I have the temerity to might seem to be the fact that I have the temerity to apply to law school in the first place. I have a blemished apply to law school in the first place. I have a blemished academic record that includes withdrawals and failing academic record that includes withdrawals and failing grades, and by the time I receive my degree in May, I grades, and by the time I receive my degree in May, I will have spent six years as an undergraduate. Looking will have spent six years as an undergraduate. Looking beyond these statistics, however, to the circumstances beyond these statistics, however, to the circumstances of my life, it becomes clear that what is more of my life, it becomes clear that what is more remarkable is the fact that I have survived at all.”remarkable is the fact that I have survived at all.”

2) Sell your unique strengths, leadership 2) Sell your unique strengths, leadership qualities, experience, and academic preparation qualities, experience, and academic preparation for the position or experiencefor the position or experience ““Since joining the _____ program, I have Since joining the _____ program, I have masteredmastered hands-on research hands-on research

techniques such as DNA Isolations, DNA Restriction Digestions, DNA techniques such as DNA Isolations, DNA Restriction Digestions, DNA Transformation, micropippetting, Gel Electrophoresis, polymerase chain Transformation, micropippetting, Gel Electrophoresis, polymerase chain reaction (PCR), High Performance Liquid Chromatography (HPLC), Capillary reaction (PCR), High Performance Liquid Chromatography (HPLC), Capillary Electrophoresis (CE), cell culturing, media preparation, protein chemistry, etc. Electrophoresis (CE), cell culturing, media preparation, protein chemistry, etc. Additionally, I am currently enrolled in a Scientific Communications course, Additionally, I am currently enrolled in a Scientific Communications course, which enhances my written and verbal scientific communication skills.” which enhances my written and verbal scientific communication skills.”

““In additional to being a leader in the classroom, I have also demonstrated In additional to being a leader in the classroom, I have also demonstrated outstanding leadership at my university and in the community. During my outstanding leadership at my university and in the community. During my matriculation at FSU, I have been an active participant in several honor matriculation at FSU, I have been an active participant in several honor societies, clubs, and organizations including Phi Eta Sigma, Bio Phi Chem societies, clubs, and organizations including Phi Eta Sigma, Bio Phi Chem Science Club, FSU-RISE program, FSU Honor’s Program as well as Beta Science Club, FSU-RISE program, FSU Honor’s Program as well as Beta Kappa Chi National Scientific Honor Society. I currently serve as the secretary Kappa Chi National Scientific Honor Society. I currently serve as the secretary for Bio Phi Chem Science Club and the president of Beta Kappa Chi National for Bio Phi Chem Science Club and the president of Beta Kappa Chi National Scientific Honor Society.” Scientific Honor Society.”

Revise your PS as your gain more skillsRevise your PS as your gain more skills If you have completed at least one extramural If you have completed at least one extramural

summer research internship, focus on summer research internship, focus on demonstrating the knowledge you have gain from demonstrating the knowledge you have gain from your research experience:your research experience:““My interest in research was nurtured when I joined the _____ program during my My interest in research was nurtured when I joined the _____ program during my sophomore year of college. The program afforded me the opportunity to learn basic sophomore year of college. The program afforded me the opportunity to learn basic research skills, which were enhanced when I participated in a summer research research skills, which were enhanced when I participated in a summer research internship at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill during the summer of 2010. internship at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill during the summer of 2010. My research project was entitled, “Characterization of the Mas Gene Product as an My research project was entitled, “Characterization of the Mas Gene Product as an Angiotensin II Receptor”. We tested the hypothesis that overexpression of the mas Angiotensin II Receptor”. We tested the hypothesis that overexpression of the mas gene product in NIH 3T3 cells would result in increase binding of Angiotensin II. We gene product in NIH 3T3 cells would result in increase binding of Angiotensin II. We concluded in this study that transformed NIH 3T3 cells bind 80% more angiotensin II concluded in this study that transformed NIH 3T3 cells bind 80% more angiotensin II when compared to untransformed cells.”when compared to untransformed cells.”

TipsTips2.) 2.) Sell your unique strengths, leadership qualities, Sell your unique strengths, leadership qualities,

experience, and academic preparation for the experience, and academic preparation for the position or experienceposition or experience

• Personal background; what distinguishes you as a person?Personal background; what distinguishes you as a person?• What strengths/ leadership would you bring?What strengths/ leadership would you bring?

• What do your experiences and choices say about your What do your experiences and choices say about your value system, interests, and motivators?value system, interests, and motivators?

• Unique skills that demonstrate the depth of your Unique skills that demonstrate the depth of your experience in the field?experience in the field?

TipsTipsSpecial Conditions or CircumstancesSpecial Conditions or Circumstances

• Be open about obstacles encountered & overcome Be open about obstacles encountered & overcome (illness, tragedy, 35 hr/week job, etc.)(illness, tragedy, 35 hr/week job, etc.)

• Inconsistencies in grades or test scores? Explain Inconsistencies in grades or test scores? Explain in brief, non-apologetic, and non-defensive in brief, non-apologetic, and non-defensive mannermanner

• Turn bad experiences into a learning experiencesTurn bad experiences into a learning experiences

3.) How will this experience contribute to 3.) How will this experience contribute to the success of your future/ career goals:the success of your future/ career goals:

SHOW THAT YOU HAVE DONE YOUR HOMEWORK!SHOW THAT YOU HAVE DONE YOUR HOMEWORK!

• Benefits of program in preparation for Benefits of program in preparation for education or the professioneducation or the profession

• What’s next after completing the program…. What’s next after completing the program…. the ultimate goal!the ultimate goal!

• Why this program and why now? Research the Why this program and why now? Research the program & explain its appeal.program & explain its appeal.

4.) Discuss your fit with the school and 4.) Discuss your fit with the school and provide Assurances:provide Assurances:

• Refer to specific aspects of the program that match Refer to specific aspects of the program that match your interestsyour interests

• ““Flirt” with them without being sycophanticFlirt” with them without being sycophantic• ““Time magazine reports that Yale is the number #1 in Time magazine reports that Yale is the number #1 in

the nation for preparing molecular biologists.the nation for preparing molecular biologists.• I will be an asset to your summer program and a I will be an asset to your summer program and a

motivation to other participants if given an opportunity motivation to other participants if given an opportunity to participate in the summer program.to participate in the summer program.

Personal Statement Do’s Personal Statement Do’s

Give yourself plenty of time to write itGive yourself plenty of time to write it

Give it a theme or thesisGive it a theme or thesis

Use concrete examples of life experiences Use concrete examples of life experiences to distinguish yourselfto distinguish yourself

Write about what excites you!Write about what excites you!

Do’s Do’s Begin with an attention-grabbing lead and get to Begin with an attention-grabbing lead and get to

the point early onthe point early on

Use clear, direct, concise writing that tells about Use clear, direct, concise writing that tells about your experienceyour experience

Form conclusions that explain the value and Form conclusions that explain the value and meaning of your experience, such as what you meaning of your experience, such as what you learned about yourself and your field, your future learned about yourself and your field, your future goals, and your future plansgoals, and your future plans

Do’s Do’s Try to stay to about 1-2 pages ( preferably 1)Try to stay to about 1-2 pages ( preferably 1)

End by referring back to the main themeEnd by referring back to the main theme

Revise at Revise at leastleast 3 times then have someone 3 times then have someone else critique it several timeselse critique it several times

Proofread by reading document out loudProofread by reading document out loud

Things to Avoid Things to Avoid Generally, references to experiences or Generally, references to experiences or

accomplishments before college accomplishments before college

Controversial or highly unconventional topicsControversial or highly unconventional topics (ie religion and politics)(ie religion and politics) Information from “out of left field” – i.e., Information from “out of left field” – i.e.,

doesn’t fit into the story you’re tellingdoesn’t fit into the story you’re telling

An autobiography or resume approachAn autobiography or resume approach

Things to Avoid Things to Avoid Vocabulary words you don’t knowVocabulary words you don’t know Generic statements: “Communication Generic statements: “Communication

skills are important in this field.”skills are important in this field.” Made up things!Made up things! Cliches: “I’ve always wanted to be…”Cliches: “I’ve always wanted to be…”

What if I have writer’s What if I have writer’s block?block?

Just start writing down your thoughts – Just start writing down your thoughts – worry about how it sounds laterworry about how it sounds later

Answer the questions on the sheet Answer the questions on the sheet providedprovided

Ask others to help you brainstormAsk others to help you brainstorm Come to your Career Advisor with a Come to your Career Advisor with a

draft (whatever form it is in)draft (whatever form it is in)

10 Characteristics of a Successful 10 Characteristics of a Successful ApplicantApplicant

ReferenceReference

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01