Writing Business Letters Which Get the Business

7/27/2019 Writing Business Letters Which Get the Business

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Writing BusinessLetters ^? n? whichget the business.

A group of six special articles ineach of which are containedvery practical and helpfulsuggestions for makingbusiness letters more

interesting andefficient

w

THE POCKET BOOK SERIESPublished by

THE OFFICE APPLIANCE CO.417 South Dearborn Street

CHICAGO. ILL.


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^sn30xW\K

t

LOUIS VICTOR EYTINGE

Louis Victor Eytinge, the writer of the excellent articleswhich compose this book, is a life-termer in the state peni-entiary

at Florence, Arizona.The achievements of Eytinge afford a striking illustration

of the possibilities of a system of prison management designedto inspire self-mastery in the men witfy whom it has to do, toturn them from ifis.e native'* to Ztte**positive trail toward thegoal and to restore "twem to* usefulness. ""

The writer 'enee %lh"ugd,t\toiom$)lpnient*.ytinge with theremark " ''You*hdv'e'*g'o%e**ftirth*er%'thdnrty man of my ac-uaintance.

And VICTOR replied: "Only because I wentfarther the other way than any man of your acquaintance. ,}

The misdirected energies of Louis Victor Eytinge's youthlanded him in the reform school at an early age. Behind himat twenty-eight was a five years' sentence in the Ohio statepenitentiary " for forgery. A few years later, broken in healthand out of harmony with life, he tvas in the West and presentlyinvolved in troubles which culminated in the crowning disasterof his eventful career.


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Out of this disaster has come a new Louis Victor Eytinge" useful citizen.

Like many another, Eytinge found himself through work "through work and usefulness made possible by a system ofprison management that, strange as it may seem, has for itsspecial object, the rebuilding of men.

Under this system, Eytinge, within the prison walls, gaineda touch with the activities of the business world, in which he nowparticipates every day.

Compelled to depend wholly upon the mail for the establish-entof business relations, Eytinge became a student atnd

analysist of business letters and business literature. Personalcontact was denied him. His enthusiasm, sincerity, courtesyand desire for service must be expressed in the typed page. Thepostage stamp must be his means of transportation " he must"GET INTO THE ENVELOPE AND SEAL THE FLAP."

The more one reads the writings of Louis Victor Eytinge,the more one becomes impressed with the thought that thereis no excuse for any average man to yield to discouragement.Eytinge, of course, is not an average man, but what he ismaking of himself is the result of a determination and a fightingspirit which the average man may achieve if he will.

Ill almost unto death with tuberculosis, cast into prisoncharged with a capital crime and escaping death perhaps be-ause

the evidence against him was circumstantial and incon-lusive,with a record as a bad man before he was charged

with the offense which causes his detention now, Eytinge hasgrappled with the evil fate that has pursued him since boyhood,and not only has conquered the evil in himself, but has wonback his physical health and vigor and justly earned the re-pect

and esteem of thousands of Americans. From surroundingsto the last extent depressing he has lifted himself to a degreeof success seldom or never before achieved by anyone in likecircumstances. Eytinge has looked death, disgrace and failurein the eyes and has defeated them all.

In his valedictory to the readers of the magazine Mr.Eytinge said:


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"Three things have actuated me in the writing of thisseries: First,

"the fine fellowship that has been given me by

the editors and their friends. Second,"

the love of good lettersand my desire to see letters more efficient. And third " themost important

"the desire to awaken you business men, you

tax payers, to sober thought on one of the world's greatestproblems " the prison and the prisoner."


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The "Get" Series

Get into the envelope and sealthe flap. J" J" J" J* J* J"Get under the prospect's hide.

Get a persuasive perspective.Get a good grip on your prospect.Get the dotted line signed andget away. "" "" d* "" J*Get good associates.

This series of articles was written especiallyfor Office Appliances, the magazine of officeequipment, in which they were first published.

Copyright 1914, by Office Appliance Company

OFFICE APPLIANCE CO.417 South Dearborn Street, Chicago, 111.


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I.-GET INTO THE ENVELOPEAND SEAL THE FLAP.

Embodying some suggestionsor puttingmoreofyourselfin your business letters,

YOURlettersare running too much to brain and notenough to heart.The presidentof a Colorado jobbinghouse re-ently

wrote me for a set of rules on successful sales-letterconstruction and said he had read and studied everythingon commercial correspondence,but could not secure realresults. This was my answer to him : "Get into the en-elope

and seal the flapafter you!"Your morning'smail, one writer says, engages your at-ention

in this order: Checks, orders,correspondence re-atingto prospectiveorders and work in hand ; relatingo

minor business correspondenceand lastly,dvertising.utis this truef

How often in running through a bigbatch of mail youhave caught a passingphrase,a different note than usualand it left its imprint upon your mind, an imprint soforcible that

you have worked backed through the sheafuntil you found this letter? Have you not pulledsucha letter from the tray and carefullystudied its humaninterest,ts appeal? Have you not felt a warming ad-irati

for the writer and tried to visualize the man?Does not this human, man-to-man, spoken letter picturethe personalityf the correspondent? Do you not usuallycall your associates to read such a letter? Is it not pickedup several times during the day even after you havedictated the reply?

Words have justas much tone as the speakingvoice "just as much tint,as much color value as the painter'spigments. The weaver of words creates a cloth that is


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out. One told about prices,so remarkablylow, and ofthe daintiness and delicacyof the lace. It was purelya letter to the head. Three per cent of repliesresulted.The other told of the pitifulplightof the inmates ofthe convents in Guadalajara,where most of the work isdone, of the stress of the country because of the revolu-ions

and all of which made it impossibleto preserve afull line. There was littletalk to the head in the secondletter,but much for the heart. Over thirtyper cent ofreplieslosed out the stock.

If a salesman handed his card to you with one hand andleveled his index fingerat your brow with a "look-me-square-in-the-eye"what would happen to him? "Where'sthe bouncer ?" Funny then,that so many correspondentsthink they can hypnotizeone into signing"the enclosedorder blank" with a long-distanceeveled-fingertyle.hestrident hit-from-the-shoulder letter becomes a nuisance.The so-called "snappy business tone" has been overdone.The pendulum is swinging to the more natural humanway of talkingone's letters. You would not tolerate thesalesman who thumped his fiston your desk with everybreath. Why, then,expect your prospect to permit youto punctuate every sentence in your sales-letterwith amental sledge-hammerblow? Waste basket,please!

Business Built on Service.Business today is built on service and the strongest

sales-letteris the one that offers to serve the prospect.Strong characters are modest, yet impress you with theirpower. The strong sales-letterimpresses the prospectwith its resolute ring and compels his confidence. Con-idence

begets action and orders. The prospect knowsthat you are working for your own interest it takes thehuman letter to prove that his interests are yours.Whatever you give the prospect he returns to you. Itis the law of compensation. The other day a letter was


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handed me and its opening paragraphran thus: "Theunquestionableenthusiasm displayedin your letter of the13th is certainlycontagious/'nd then went on with twopages of earnest enthuiastic discussion of a matter not re-ated

to his profit,ut one interestingoth of us " evento the dropping of his work on his inventory. All be-ause

of a human enthuiasm that demanded a kindredfeelingand expression.

A lifer,ikemyself,wanted to buy a certain typewriteron the partial-paymentplan. He wrote a number ofhouses tellingexactlywhat he wanted, the frank truth asto his situation,nd that the vendor would have to de-end

for payment on the convicts mere word of honor.A few houses utterlyignoredthe inquiry;others sent abald blank to be filledout with thisand that information.One firm (may there be more such!) packed a machine,paid the express and offered it to the convict,writinghimthat his entire frankness had commanded their admira-ion

" that because of his situation the terms usuallyde-andedmight prove too severe and if this were so, they

were willingto make such agreement as the honor ofthe convict might suggest and his littleearningsmakepossible.How many machines do you think this firmwill eventuallysell because of the humanliness of thisaction ? What is the advertisingalue of a staunch friend ?

That, after all,isthe value of the human sales-letterthe buildingup of a friendlyclientele. The human in-erest

transmutes leaden letter thoughtsinto check col-ectingconversations. Every one may do this,from the

humblest mail-order experimenterto the elevated execu-ive.The crow of the bantam rooster carries justas far

as that of the big brahma. Of course, there'sthe otherextreme to be avoided, for the most noisystink-wagonfrequentlyimps home loser. The letter that osculatesthe Blarney Stone leaves a bad taste in the mouth. It issimply a questionof beingYOURSELF.

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Enthusiasm, faith, confidence, courtesy, truthfulness,and all qualities needed in business building may be con-eyed

through sales-letters as easily as in person. Theletter will represent in every way the product, the firm,the personality of its directing force. It is the voice ofyour character as applied to your business. The letter thatharvests the heaviest, baits with human heartiness its hid-en

hook. The human letter in business is the hand-gripthat propitiates your prospect toward your proposal " thatputs a pleasing prosperity in your progress " that paves thepath to permanent profit production.


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II." GET UNDER THE PROS-ECT'SHIDE.

Wherein are suggestedthe uses of the kindliersentiments in business correspondence.

GET under your prospect'side by gettingout fromyour own shell!Down South there's a littlefellow who loves

the warm sands where we humans walk about in our barefeet. You may strut along as unconcerned as can be andthen a couple of days later you begin to feel a painfulswellingbetween the toes. It will take a sharp knife'scuttingto prove that the sand-jiggeihas got in his work.He gets under the hide by findingthe tenderest spot "the pointof least resistance.

Emulate the sand-flea. Find the pointof contact bywhich you can most easilywin your prospect and buildyour letterso that it gets through gently.

The other day I was in the market for desks and wrotea number of makers for catalogsand information. Onedesk I had almost determined to buy " I was ninetypercent sold. Here isthe firstpart of what the manufacturerwrote me: "In replyto your recent inquiry,e are send-ngunder separate cover our catalog,which will showyou what a marvel of mechanical ingenuityand cabinetwork the Blank desk is. We have been furniture mak-rs

for blank years and we " We this and we that !Did I care what kind of a mechanical marvel the blamed

desk was? Did it matter to me how long they had beenin the business? What I wanted was service, a deskthat would help me in my work, and I wanted to knowhow it could do this,how handy it may have been forthis or that,the time or labor it would save. I askedfor cake and was givena crust.


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waste basket. Do you remember how, fiveor six yearsago, we used to open our letterswith a hurrah flash?We used to think we had to hit 'era between the eyes "to jolt'em into reading what we wrote. Nothing ofthat these busy days. We have reduced letter writing toa scientificrt or an artful science,ny way you want it.Your whoop-'er-upand smash-'em-out letters go into thejanitor'saper bin. Five years ago a certain vendor ofcouches for physician'sfficesopened his letterslike this:

"Doctor, your office is a disgrace!"It don't represent your abilitys a medico. Get a

Blank couch and make itdecent."Today, the same writer starts out his letters on the

same subjectwith a gentle,houghtful,arnest approach,thus:

"You know, doctor,how helpfula proper mental at-itude,on the part of your patientis toward your own

helpfulnessnd you surelyrealize that a tufted,sooth-ngBlank couch would rest your patientuntil you wereready in the consultation room."Notice the clever appeal to his intelligenceith the

"You know"; then the introduction of the element ofcomfort for the patient,making it better for the physi-ian.

There is an opening that shows brain .work andheart interest, and, in allearnestness I urge that bothare essential.

One wants to guard againstgeneralitiesecause theselack appeal.It doesn't pay to open a letterwith,"We havesold five hundred of these comfortable Blank chairs inthis city." Does that produce thought,attract attentionor inspireinterest? Suppose you had started with "Youwill increase your own efficiencynd make more pleasur-ble

the day'sduties,if you use a back-restinglankchair"? Would not that be better? Is there not an ap-eal

that penetrates, producesreadingof the entire letter?One thing the business man wants these days is ef-

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ficiency and not onlydo you have a talkingointin that,but in making "more pleasurable"he work to be done,besides the strong, selfishappealin the comfort of a "back-resting"chair. Words in the opening do not count forso much as ideas. Words are merelyclothes we wrapabout ideas to make them humanly appealing.

The opening of the letter must not merely attract at-ention.Making a man open his eyes for the purpose oflookingat you amounts to nothing;you'vegot to attract

his buying attention and, the best way to do that is tocreate in his mind a feelingf confidence in you and yourwares. Do you recall how, in the June, 1913, issue ofOffice Appliances, Ralph Bauer told of enclosinger-ified

25c checks with his circular letters? This was topay for the prospect'sime in reading; to playfair for thestudy; to create confidence in the fairnessof Bauer's offers" more than all,o get under the hide.

Down in Tennessee a firm sellingofficeforms, en-loseda clean,crisp,ollar bill with their circular let-ers!Of course, onlya high classmailinglistwas used.

Paying a dollar to get their matter read " read thor-ughly" was a profit-producingroposition.Most pros-ects

would be inclined to buy if for no other reason thanthat theyfeltunder obligationso the sender of the billstheyfeltas iftheyowed a dollar.

One of my clientsgoes further and you are welcometo use the plan for he sends out checks,good in everyway, except that the amount is not named! Risky busi-ess

sendingout blank checks,you say? No " for thereis a stringtied to the thing. On the back of the checkis printeda line statingthat the paper is negotiablenlyupon presentationat Blank's store. The check accom-anies

a letterpraisingand selling one kind of officede-ice,which can be fullyguaranteed.

The prospect is invited to come to the store, inspectthe device and to bringthe check with him that it may be

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Supposeyou are sellingteel filingixturesand openyour letterwith:

"Are your letters,our papers, as safeas theydeserve to be?"The Brunswick-Balke-Collender Companyhad fiftythousand inquiriesburned in their re-ent

fireand the trials,annoyances and lostbusiness entailed have led them to order Blanksteel equipment.

"What would you do, ifyou were to lose allyour papers, all your records this night?"

This last questionis one that is bound to cause con-iderablethoughtin the mind of the prospect. He actu-lly

is compelledto study what he would do, were heto suffer a loss. Right then " at the psychologicaloment" when you've"gothim going"is the righttime to drivehome your best arguments.Notice how the openingattracts attention" how it getsunder the hide. The next paragraph a simplestatementof fact is greatlystrengthenedby the mention of thenumber of inquiriesdestroyedand the use of a nationallyknown firm name " a firm which advertised itsloss.Thesetwo sentences are but the sketching-inf a foreground.hethird sentence " the hard-hitting,ome-bringingquestionis the thingthat leads the prospect to size up the perspec-ive.

He sees the picturein his own mind and it is up toyou to argue shortlynd quicklyand closethe sale.Everyword, every punctuationmark in the letter extract showsthe result of a carefullyreated plan. How do you ex-ect

to have a perspectivenless you have a plan uponwhich to build? Before you write one word, plan every-hingfrom greetingo get-away!

Plan the perspectiveo that it makes prominent theooints the prospect ought to perceive.You must educate/our prospect. Peopledid not want the typewriter,he

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adding machine, process-letterevices theydidn't wanta thing until they were educated into desire. They haddone business for years without officeappliancescould dobusiness now without them " but who the deuce wantsto? Plan an educative,permanently-persuasiveer-pective.

Here's an instance: Every officean uses carbon paper" may have tried dozens of brands and grades but doeshe know that there is a paper particularlyuited to hisbusiness needs ? When you size up the needs of your pros-ect

in carbonpapers

and talk of a paper designedto meethis specialrequirements when your letter educates himinto desiringthat particularaper " then you'velandednot only his trade in carbons but in many other lines.YouVe shown your interest in his interests. You havevisualized your prospect, the classof business he does andyou have addressed yourselfo his condition,is progress.

An addressing-machineaker plansthe letters that goto houses having difficultyith the pay-rollso that theperspectivehows hours and days saved in the matter ofmaking out time-cards and addressingpay-envelopes.Where speedin gettingout the circular lettersis needed,as in a broker'soffice,he letterscarry the questionbeforetheirstrongest arguments: "Do you want to find out howthe Blank will get your market-letters to your clientstwohours earlier?" A maker of specialeysfor the typewriterdoes not, at first,alk to the employerof relievinghedrudgery of the typist(thoughthis subjectis carried inthe later arguments),but rather of reducing the numberof errors he has to correct in the lettersbefore theygo out.He writes his lettersso that theybuild a perspectiveuitedto the eyes of the prospect and not to the latter'semployes.

A sellerof flat-topesks,in a western city,ad a hardtime of it duringthe earlypart of the summer, because ofthe competitionbetween two largerofficefixture men "one a steel desk salesman and the other an agent for a

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drawer,pushingitback and rollinghe chair into itsplaceagain?" Another puts a pertinentappealwith his: "Themany interviews you grant every day make the ordinarydesk chair unsuitable to a better performance of yourduties. Why not get greater comfort,greater efficiencywith a chair designedespeciallyor your work?" A dealer,circularizingis prospects about a patent inkwell,openshis lettersby tellinghow much ink is evaporatedfromthe average inkwell in a year and then goes direct to thepaintingof the perspectiveith, "If good ink costs you adollar the quart and you have but four inkwells in yourofficeand these vaporize four quarts of ink during theyear, how much money will you save in two, three,in fiveyears, if you buy Blank non-evaporatingnkwells at adollar each? Figurethis out yourself?"

A printerand stationer prefaceshis strongest talk with,"If I can show you how three mills lessthan one-thirdof a cent " added to the improvement of every letteryousend out will bring back ten per cent greater returns,would you use Blank brains-in-printing" A filingcabinet dealer asks in his second paragraph, "Is yourfilingystem really time saver ? Does itrespondquicklyand accuratelyor " do you have to stop and think andlook in several placesbefore you find what you want?"These are but samplesof paintingthe perspective gettingready the scenery for the real actingthat comes withyour vital argument " the firstact to the developmentofyour letter-sales-drama.Playwell your part!

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IV- GET A GOOD GRIP ONYOUR PROSPECT.

Wherein are presented some thoughts on keeping up astrong argument to a logicalconclusion.

INthe other dayswhen out in the world,Fve ridden oncable cars going up some hill,and often wonderedwhat would happen if the grip-man lost control.

Then, as if to satisfyy curiosity, saw this happensaw the car drop down the hill despitethe brake " sawthe wreck that resulted and never do I want to witnesssuch a thingagain!

Some lettersare like cable cars in that theystart outfrom the officewith a clean cut swing,strong and virileastheymove onward " but " when theyget to the hill,hentheycome to the climb to the argumentativeclimax theylose their grip and slide down to an empty end " in thewastebasket !

A manufacturer,startingdealercampaignon a paper-fasteningdevice,wondered why his form-letters failed.The lettercopy started out bravelyand blithelyit gotunder the hide. It led up beautifullyo a persuasiveer-pectiveby tellingf the success of three differentdealersin as many towns. His argument " the crux of the at-ack

" openedwith:"Of course, I fullyrealizethat what other dealers in

other citiesdid or did not do with this punch, is of noespecialnterest to you" Etc.,etc.Rightthere was the weak spot in the campaign " right

there was all earned effect killed rightthere was theletterthrown aside. If what other dealers had done hadno interest for the prospect, what was the use of telling

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about them in the opening? What was the use of gentlyleadingto the criticalpoint,if one had to negativeall thepreviouspositivethought? He lost the gripon his argu-ent

" his effort was ruined. Had the writer gone aheadwith the natural appealhe had builded for with some-hinglike :

"Cannot you, with your splendidsituation,our friend-yclientele,our wide influenceand your volume of

trade " cannot you do as well or BETTERf Surely you in-tend trying!" had there been used some such line oflanguage it would have been productive of results. Itwould have been an incentive,nspiringeach dealer to at-empt

beatingthe other's record" the campaign wouldhave been a $ucce$$.

Another dealer sent out a small booklet describingcertain filingcabinet and with it a letter that openedstronglynd led nicelyp to his argument. He too, losthis gripon thishill,hen he wrote:"If,afterstudying the roller-bearingevice as shown

on page six the interlockingsystem described on pagenine " the patent follow-blockarrangement told of on pagetwelve " if after doing all this,you say the Blank sys-em

is not the best " why throw this catalogand letterinto the wastebasket."Certainly.Anything to oblige,or that's justwhere

it went " into the wastebasket ! Went there as soon as theprospects read the last line. It is a fact that the fatalwastebasket suggestionwas responsibleor ninety-fiveercent of the wastage in this incident. Suggestionis a pow-rful

influence,ore so when a man ishurriedlyreadingaletterfor the firsttime. Every word that is seen will pro-uce

an impression on the mind and just as positivethoughts produce affirmative actions, so will negativewords producenegativections. The main value of street

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car advertisingiesin itssuggestivenfluence not in anyargumentativeforce that is why most car cards are ofa positiveype. Study them when you go home todayandsee for yourself.

Forget the word "wastebasket." Forget that there islettersand framingyour arguments. Supposethat the lastquotedwriter had made his letterread :"If,afterstudyingthe roller bearingdevice as shown on

page six the patent interlockingystem described on pagenine " the finefollow-blockarrangement told of on pagetwelve " if,afterdoing all this,you are not yet convincedthat the Blank system is the best,I'llplay my best trumpcard. This is it:I'llput a cabinet in your office use itthirtydays test it out in any way you think fit.t the endof that time I'll come after it unless you say that it istoo valuable to be without. Do you want to find outwhat it will do for you?"Now suppose that such a revision of the objectionablparagraphhad been made, what a differencedo you thinkwould have been shown in the results? When you buildan argument give it the enthusiasm and earnestness thatfillyour own mind. Never have a doubt. Be positive,and you will impressyour prospect forciblynd favorably.Yes " you w-i-l-l.

All this may sound like new thought " I hope so"and itwould be better ifcorrespondentsere to assimilatesome of that new thoughtbefore writingtheir letters. Allgreat business executives are studyingthe psychologyofbusiness. They are beginningto find out that their divi-end

dollars are earned by increasingtheir own efficiency" not by taking advantage of the inabilitiesof others.They are beginningto ask the why for every word, sen-ence,

act " and " as they delve deeper into this studyof the action of the mind, they are findingout for them-

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write any intelligentan, "you may know that London isa city,"r "you may know that Wilson isPresident/'Suppose that the same thought had been dressed in

some fashion like this: "You know, as do other men ofgood taste, that colored shirtingsre never used for eve-ingdress" so with writing linens. Tinted papers are

considered tawdry" can't you feel the difference your-elf? Here you have the positiveinfluenceof "you know,"rather than the questioning"you may know" and the pe-uliareffect of the "you know" is that if the recipientdoes not then know, he absorbs the information you aregiving and believeshe has arrived at the truth for him-elf!!!

Straightgoods! Then, next comes the associa-ionwith the element of subtle flatteryn "as do other men

of good taste/' You have not merelypleasedthe prospectwith the soft stroke,but have impressedyour statementsupon his mind as facts,throughyour own positiveness.Don't put all your own arguments into one lettersave somethingfor follow-ups.A manufacturer of a type-riter

attachment designed to lessen shock,noise andwear, selectsjustone of his dozen of talkingpointsuponwhich to make thiscoin-collectingrgument:

"Let's get right down to brass tacks" cutting downyour expense costs. Typewriter ribbons cost you 75 centseach " you change at least every month, making youryearlyribbon cost on each machine $9.00. Now then, Tilguarantee the Blank to save you twenty-fiveer cent onall ribbons " will guarantee the typewriterfeet for fiveyears. This twenty- fiveper cent saving on fiveyears'rib-on

cost of$45.00is $11.25. Deduct from this gross sav-ngthe cost of the Blank device,a paltrytwo dollars"

and " you have a net earning of $9.25!!! In all frank-ess,would you not willinglyspend two dollars to get

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Here's where the colloquialtyleof presentingthe ar-umentcarries you alongwith a swing,bringsyou sharp

up againstthe facts,makes you analyzehis figuresandclinchesit all with an appealto your instinctsfor gain.Appeal to the desire for gain cannot be used in all

cases. Change your appealsas vaudevillianschange theiracts. Make them fit your audience. Here is the wayanother printeradvances his arguments to professionalmen and women :

"You know that your servicesare equalor superiortoothers in your profession.Why not then, make your let*ters like your ability?Why not make them stand out ofthe mass? Clothe your letters with a paper that repre-ents

your individualitys much as your raiment does.I can print letter-paperor you that will breathe of yourcharacter " your professionalstanding. Think how thatwould affectour possiblelients!'*

It isa strong argument, stronglyut, with itsquestionsand itsdelvingdown into the hidden nature of the reader.It pulledbetter than allthe rest of the seriesof six letters.There's a reason, too.

Forget the machine,the device,the articleyou aresellingnd talk of the results itwill accomplishfor theother fellow. That's the secret of letter-selling,ust asit is the secret of the successful cash register,urroughsadding machine, Multigraph,Addressograph the secretbehind all specialtyelling.Talk results,ow and ever-astingly.

Subordinate everythingelse to your argumentand make that for one man only the other fellow.

Sometimes a horrible example can teach better thananythingelse. Here's one sent me from a Denver whole-ale

house solicitingy business:"We understand from Mr. J. P. Blank, your Denver

distributor,that you use more or less German silver inyour noveltywork.

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"We are headquarterson German silver and are sup-lyingsome of the biggestfirms in the West with this

material. If you are interested in this line and will letus know how much you may use in the course of a year,we will name you a price,having in view the closingofa years contract for your needs.

"We are also sendingone of our completecatalogsndwe await your earlyreply.

Yours truly"A prize will be awarded any reader who will find asingle microscopic vestige of salesmanship"argument

" reason why " in that wonderful effusion. It is a splen-idspecimen for a correspondenceChamber of Horrors.

Their catalogcompetent judges estimated to have costnot less than 60c " postage on all matter was 26c " costof wrappers, stationery,tenographicand dictatinger-ice

would have brought the cost of their effort to morethan a dollar. That firm may tellyou that letterswon'tbring results that advertisingoesn't pay " and similarpessimistictuff. But let me tellyou the sequel.

Some half dozen good lettersmiths co-operatedin re-uildingthat letter to the best of their abilities. I pre-ented

the resultant copy to the firm " paid return postageon their expensivecatalog courteouslysuggestedthat acertain named set of books on commercial correspondencewould reduce their sellingxpense. What do you thinkwas the gistof their reply? Yes, you called the turn "theysaid theywould not be interested in the books becausethey had been taught the business by their ancestors "that theydid not think any outside writer could tellthemanythingabout how to get up lettersabout their business!They had lost not merelytheir grip on business argumentbut on business progress, as well. You may know allabout your bodies,but you call in a doctor when some-

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thingiswrong inside.By all means call in the outside help" justas bigbusinesscalls in efficiencyngineers as fineaccountants call in expert auditors" as great surgeonscall in consultants. The outsider is the one man whobringsthe unbiased,criticalcapacitythat the producerand sellerrarelypossess. Get your lettersexperted ifyou can't get results that should remedy their ills.

Put plenty of the resin of "reason why" onyour hands and get a good grip !

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V- GET THE DOTTED LINESIGNED AND GET AWAY.

Being some observations upon the effectivelosingof a business-gettingetter.

THE bee may buzz around every flower gatheringhoney but he gets there in the end " with his end.All letters that aim to bring in business ought

to be built on the bee plan with the stingerwhere thebee's is!E. St. Elmo Lewis, perhapsthe greatest trainer of

efficientsales and advertisinganagers, wrote one ofthe soundest rules for letter writing when he advisedsalesmen: "Never open somethingyou can't close." Thesales letter that lacks the clinchingclimax is like thedrunken man with one foot in a hole,who walked arounditallnightand wondered why he never reached his home !

All the fine openings,all the persuasiveperspectives,all the grippingarguments will have been wasted unlessthey are aimed to get the dotted line signed to bringhome the bacon. The ship captain may stand on thebridgeat sea, takinghis sightsand making his calcula-ions,giving due allowance to winds and waves andwaters " but the shiphas one aim " the port toward whichshe is pointed. The commercial correspondentbuildshis lettersfor but one thing that itslast act is to makeport " to build business.

Here is the last paragraphof a lettersent me by alargehouse:

"If there are any pointsin our offerou do not under-tand,we will be pleased to give further explanation.

The courtesy of a reply will be expected,whether wemake any sales or not, and we trust that we may have

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the enclosed card signedand returned to us by earlymail.Yours very truly /'Honestly,what would you say " what would you feel

like saying to that firm? Why not make the offer soplainthat further explanationwould be an impossibility?Never permit anythingto be misunderstood " when it isso easy to be clear. Yes, they expect a reply,ven aftertheyhave insulted our intelligenceand perhapsthe onlypaper permittingsuch a replywould be made of asbestos!They "trust" that the order card will be signedand re-urned

by earlymail and yet have given no inducementtoward producing such action.A dealer in officefilingystems said in the final para-raph

of his third letter:"There can be but one reason you have not accepted

our specialofferand that, the inconvenience of making aremittance at this time. Because this may be so and be-ause

of our desire to see a Blank installed in youroffice,e will extend our specialofferten days and en-loseanother order card. Very trulyyours."

Fine indeed,isn'tit? But one reason, eh,and thatbecause you are broke? Honest, do you like to have thatkind of thingsaid? This form of insult is more or lesscommon " is one of the frequentcauses for the black eyesform lettersare getting.The thingto do, when you getsuch a letter,s to write such a replyas your feelingsn-icate

" if the postallaws will stand for it!If immediate orders are not expectedof the letter,

as in an educative follow-upsystem, then the lettermustbe so built as to permit of paving the way for the lettersthat come after. One correspondentuses a testimonialletter,n a most unique manner, thus:

"I am enclosingthe letter written by the manager ofthe Blank Company. Read what his tests showed him "justas they11 show you " then return the letter in the en-

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closed stamped return envelope and tell us what styleandsize of Blank you would prefer to try out in your bust'ness. Yours for service"

Even though the testimonial letter was made up inone of the faosimile processes and was more or less de-ectab

it is a fact that over fortyper cent of the letterswere returned as requestedand that fourteen per cent ofdirect orders resulted from this very letter. One of thesecrets of its success is that much of the arguing is doneby the other fellow in the testimonial letter and not byyou. The thing that was needed to make the letterwin was an adequateclose that would not merely ensurereadingof the enclosure,ut cause the prospect to writea letterin replyand this replywas the openingwedge forother letters. Despite the great growth in direct ad-ertis

" in lettersales in an understandingof the psy-hologyof letter construction,it is a lamentable fact thatover fiftyper cent of the form letters passingover yourdesk will close with somethinglike this:"Thanking you for your inquiry and hoping to be fa-ored

with your order and assuring you it will be fullyappreciatedand receive our careful attention, we are,Yours truly,"

Look at the difference feel it in a close that tingleswith ginger that galvanizesou into immediate action:"No need to write a letter. Simply make the order

blank tell us the stylesyou want to stand in your dis-layrooms and we will ship them carefullytimed to reach

you before the rush of inquiringcustomers begins. We'llstart the customers coming by our forceful circula-ion,

ifyou 11 furnish us the names of the prospects con-ideredlikelyto use our Blank. We are ready to start

thingsfor you " it is up to you to say WHEN. Why nottell us to get going today?

Yours for mutual profits,"


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on the dotted line where it reads "Sign here." Makeyour letter like your courtship. Your girl,you knowlikes the lovey-doveyalk she enjoysthe waist-warming" but " when it comes to marriage, if she is at all thesensiblesort of girlI'd expect you to have, she'llwant toknow how you can support a wife " she will want toknow thingsbefore she says "yes." And, in justthe samemanner, your business prospect will want to know howyou can help him " what you can do for him before hesends that order. Make your close a "show you" kind andyou'll"be shown."

The manufacturer who closeshis letterswith a phrasefull of meaning leaves a lastingimpression. One makerused to send out lettersthat ended with:

"Our usual guarantee is given with every Blank andwe trust to be favored with a share of your patronage.Very trulyyours!'

I was called on to rebuild his form lettersand changedthis to:

"You must wear the smile of satisfactionr no sale.That's our guarantee on every Blank. Can you askmoref What prevents you sending that order todayf

Yours for more business."Read these two again read them slowly,givingfull

value to every word and then it will be apparent whythe second letter pulledtreble the repliesroduced by theformer version. The "smile of satisfaction" is an absoluteinsurance policyproducingjustsuch a smile. The bluntquestionaskingwhy the order cannot be signedthat dayis very hard to evade. It puts the thingsquarelyp toyou " why not? Then there is the get-away; the"Yours for more business" and it has a depth of mean-ng.

It says in effect,hat the writer has not the slightestintention of wasting either time or energy, for both arebusypeople,ou and he" strictbusinessiswhat he writes,

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In the old Roman days,sundry contractors were inthe habit of waxing rich by fillingarts of the villa wallswith cheap wax rather than the more expensivemarblecements. They were safe for a while since the buildingswere mostly erected in the cooler days. But when theheat of summer melted the wax, the deceptionwas ap-arent

and all honest contractors put in their agree-entsthe words "sine cera,"which meant "without wax"" their houses were guaranteedwithout wax substitution.So then,if you build your lettersand use wax in the con-truction

" if you exaggerate and then lyingly,mugly,say "Yours sincerely/be sure that the heat of closeinspectionand time's passingwill destroyall such efforts.Build cleanly without wax " and sign your contracts;when you sign your letters use a phrasethat means some-hing

" that bespeaksyourself.Use appeal persuasion power " carry conviction "

make your close get somewhere. Make it get the dottedline signedand then make its get-away.

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VI.-GET GOOD ASSOCIATES.A littleargument to show the importance of

neatness and qualityin correspondence.DON'Te alarmed " thisis not a preachment. Still,that old adage about one's companions indicatingone's character,holds good in commercial corre-pondence

as well as it does in conduct. In fact,ore so "for the recipientf your lettersjudgesyou by them, un-ess

he has an intimate acquaintancewith your businessmethods.Your stationerythe printingof the letterhead,he

weight and finishof your paper stock,the shape and bal-nceof your letter,he cleanlinessof the type, the styleofthe languageused " all these indicate to the reader of your

letterjustwhat you are. Just as you try to size up yourprospect before you write,so will the reader visualizeyouthroughthe letterinstruments you use.A central states firm paid a copy-writer25 for two

letters. Their cheap correspondenceclerk so set up theforms on the duplicatingachine that when the letterswere mailed there were but three-eighthsnch margins oneither side. You think a littlething like that didn'tmatter? It did " for not only were the resultsbarren"not onlywas several hundred dollars wasted in postage "but on one of these letters,ent me by an interested party,I find this penciledmemorandum, from the presidentofa factoryo his purchasinggent : "Buy no more goods ofthese people. They insult our self-esteem.Some folkshave so littleregard for their brain-children that theywont give them decent dress and expect them to pleasestrangers.3'

You know you despisethe salesman who comes intoyour officewearing horsey,circus-stylelothing.You

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know you feel a strong repugnance againstthe goods heoffersyou. A Chicago man told me this same thing andyet when he sent me his letters to examine and findwhy he couldn't get his message across, his own letterheadwas a lurid litho,takingup over fortyper cent of thewhite space on the sheet. It detracted from the strengthof the letterinstead of helpingto serve it. Most people'seyes were occupiedwith his inked matter, rather thantheir minds with his message.This must not be interpreteds meaning that I am op-osed

to advertisingetterheads. Per contra, I am astrong supporter of the letterhead that isunusual,yet notfreaky one that tellsa story, paintsa picture advertisesand sells. I preferthese to the ultra-conservative,tiff,meaninglessforms. But I would have every piece ofmatter you put into the mails representativend produc-ive.

It is a liberaleducation to studythe letterheadsusedby advertisingen and the higherclass commercial sta-ioners.And, since so many of my readers are stationers,let me appealto them to use theirbest influence with theirpatrons for whom they print,that they may prevailonthese last to permit a greater latitude,hat the printersmay produce more profitableapers.There ismore or lessdiscussion these daysas to whetherour form letters should be filledin with the name, ad-ress

and salutation. Some houses claim it is cheapertoomit these pointsentirelyothers have experimentedwiththem omitted and have then returned to the sane systemof filling-inverything.he whole question,to my mind,is one of usingcommon-sense, and that is what efficiencamounts to after all. Do you like to have a form letterhanded you without the courtesy openings? Do you giveas much attention to that kind of circular as to the onethat isscrupulousin itsdesire to respect your dignity?Ibelieve it is the veriest nonsense to apologizefor a formletter. We recognizethat it is one of the agenciesof

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modern merchandizingand all the elements that go togiveit a better receptionshould be used " especiallyfill-in. But " when you make this fill-in,ee that it is ex-ertly

done. Most men agree with what one largefirmwrote S. Roland Hall, the "Little Schoolmaster" ofPrinter's Ink: "YOU CAN'T INSULT US WITH AGOOD FORM LETTER, BUT YOU HURT OUROPINION OF YOU WHEN YOU SEND US ALETTER WITH A SLOPPY FILL-IN." Fill inwell " or not at all.

Break up your letter into eye-pleasing,asy-reading,paragraphs.Did you ever notice in readingsome workof fiction,ow the eye almost automaticallyskips thedescriptiveatter and searches for those paragraphbreaksthat indicate the conversation? It is the same way inletterwork you can make your paragraphsso long thatthe readingeye skipsto the firstbreak,with the resultthat part of your story is lost. On a letter that used asingle-spacedull page to tellitsstory, with but one para-raphbreak,isthispenciledomment: "This chap thinkshe's running a race " he is out of the race so far as ourtrade is concerned"

Of course, there is the other extreme to be avoided"too many, too short paragraphsmay make a letterlook asif it came out of a cabbagechopper. Judge the hysteriain this:"My Dear Sir:

I don't know whether you will believe me.I hope you will.Of course, ifyou wont, you wont.It'sjust a littlequestionof FAITH.// concerns a book.And it concerns $3.00.You've the $3.00.I've the book."

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And so on for two pages, almost every line a paragraph.The associationsin both these lettersfailed to impresstheprospect.

Clean type in a letteris as vital as clean teeth in yoursalesman. In the officeequipment field especially,houldgreat care be taken to see that the letters are free fromerasures and mistakes " that the alignmentis even and thetype not clogged. These are littlethings but here's astory. One of my friends had inherited a largesum ofmoney and intended enteringthe mail-sellingield. Forupward of two years he had studied with me the scienceof business and sales-thru-mails. A few weeks be-ore

he was to leave for his California home to open hisoffice he determined to make the purchasesof his officeequipment. He wanted two typewritersand a multipleletter machine. I too was in the market for a new type-riter.

We preferredcertain machines and writing di-ectto the manufacturers our letters were referred back

to the Arizona agent, who happened to handle both ma-hines.The agent had a man on the road to whom he

sent instructions to call and see us and in the meantime,sent us catalogsand printedmatter. The letter he sentus " well,leastsaid sooner mended, were I not desirous ofpointinga moral " was written on an old, worn-out ma-hine

of another make and the alignmentwas ragged andthe type dirty. The first impression caused by themechanics of his letter his associatesby which we judgedhis goods spoiledan almost sure sale of upwards of$500! Nor is that all,for although some half dozenmachines are representedhere,and all of us have kindlyfeelingfor that house, it has not yet been able to getmore than an enteringwedge of our business.Be simplein your language. Avoid technalities.HenryJames was a great writer " Robert Louis Stevenson wasa greater and his work will livein the heart of the worldwhen the former is forgotten.James could spin out in

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the Atlanta penitentiary; autumn and sang for theinmates. The singerswere accorded much courtesy andapplausefor their arias from the operas of Wagner andMassenet " but " nine hundred men sat silent with drip-ing

eyes after "Annie Laurie" and "Home, SweetHome." Caruso himself was in tears because of thesolace he had given these men " so will you be happywhen you see the results rendered when you give the sin-erity

of a soul to your letters. That is the onlyrule Igive be sincere.There is not a thingthat has been advanced in thesepapers but has been worked out to my satisfaction and

that of clients. The very thingsI have tried to give youin these articlesare the thingsthat guide me in my work,and, just to show you the results,et me quote what aWestern manufacturer and wholesaler wrote me lastweek:

"We have used most of the letters you built for usto the best of advantage and findthem so far superiortothe business(f)collegestyleof correspondencethat wegive these letters credit for having doubled our mail orderreturns!'

We are entering upon a great era of changingcommercial ideals the world is moving along towardidealism. Business men are demanding that the guidinglaw for commercial conduct shall be the Golden Rule.The lettersthat win most are feelingthis influence andbecause of this my partingsuggestions: If You WantYour Letters to Pay Better, Put Into Them theQualities and Associates You Demand for YourDaily Life " Especially the Good Associations.

L. V. Eytinge.

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A LOT-O'-CHAPS WHO WOULDN'TEXPECT TO HARVEST CORN IFTHEY PLANTED POTATOESSEEM TO HAVE THE IDEA THATTHEY CAN SOW THE SEED OFIDLENESS AND REAP THEFRUIT OF INDUSTRY.

e* ^ "

Ike Millikan says every man owes theworld a good living.

"A. HOOSIER.

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Documents

Writing Business Letters Which Get the Business