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Writing for Future of Children
Readers
Authors Conference“Policies to Promote Child Health” Future
of Children 25, no. 1April 10–11, 2014
WHAT WE WRITE
• Long, complex sentences
WHAT READERS WANT TO READ
• Shorter, simpler sentences
83 wordsIn this era of rapid technological change, it is the goal of the Library to address the information needs of each group among its diverse set of users — faculty, undergraduates, graduate students, staff and the general public. With this goal in mind, the Library endeavors to continually review and update its collections and resources to ensure that it is providing access to those tools and materials — both in print and electronically — that best meet the University’s evolving mission of scholarship.
14 wordsThe Library strives to give all its users the tools and materials they need.
WHAT WE WRITE
• Long, complex sentences
• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases
WHAT READERS WANT TO READ
• Shorter, simpler sentences
• Action expressed with verbs
Where are the verbs?
The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.
Where are the verbs?
The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.
Where are the verbs?
The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.
Where are the verbs?
The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.
This intervention is reflective of the findings about brain development and responsive to changes in the curriculum.
We added this point to respond to a question from our colleagues.
Where are the verbs?
The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.
This intervention is reflective of the findings about brain development and responsive to changes in the curriculum.
We added this point to respond to a question from our colleagues.
Where are the verbs?
The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.
This intervention is reflective of the findings about brain development and responsive to changes in the curriculum.
We added this point to respond to a question from our colleagues.
This intervention reflects the findings about brain development and responds to changes in the curriculum.
WHAT WE WRITE
• Long, complex sentences
• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases
• Passive voice, impersonal
WHAT READERS WANT TO READ
• Shorter, simpler sentences
• Action expressed with verbs
• Active voice, personal
The passive voice is a weasel
Given the high incidence of postpartum depression in this population, it was deemed advisable to add a measure of depressive symptoms to the survey.
Given the high incidence of postpartum depression in this population, I decided to add a measure of depressive symptoms to the survey.
WHAT WE WRITE
• Long, complex sentences
• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases
• Passive voice, impersonal
• Technical terms not defined
WHAT READERS WANT TO READ
• Shorter, simpler sentences
• Action expressed with verbs
• Active voice, personal
• Technical terms defined
WORDS TO EXPLAIN
Longitudinal study
“A study that follows a group of people over time”
WHAT WE WRITE
• Long, complex sentences
• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases
• Passive voice, impersonal
• Technical terms not defined
• Long, complex, or unusual words; jargon
WHAT READERS WANT TO READ
• Shorter, simpler sentences
• Action expressed with verbs
• Active voice, personal
• Technical terms defined
• Short, simple, ordinary words; no jargon
“The literature”
Research; studies; evidence
WORDS TO AVOID
Researchers; scholars; epidemiologists; etc.
A growing bodyof literature
Morbidity and mortality
Illness and death
Mortality and morbidity
WORDS TO AVOID
WORDS TO AVOID
Negatively impact
Harm; hurt
Utilize
Use
A word about contractions
It’s OK to use contractions in formal writing.
“Most types of writing benefit from the use of contractions. If used thoughtfully, contractions in prose sound natural and relaxed and make reading more enjoyable.”
—CMS 16, 5.103
Tables and figures
Tables and figures should be able to stand alone.
An intelligent person who is not in your fieldshould be able to understand a table or figureimmediately without referring to the text.
8.5inches
tall
Alas, a Future of Children page is …
5.75 inches wide
… we can’t use type smaller than 10 points
… we can’t use type smaller than 10 points.
Alas, Future of Children is in …
Black and white
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