Writing Revision Sensory, thought/emotion, action, and dialogue
shots
Slide 3
Sensory Shot Adds concrete, physical details that take the
reader to the place that the author is describing. The reader must
experience what can be seen, heard, smelled, felt, or tasted. Takes
place outside the characters in the physical world. Makes the
reader feel like he is present in the scene.
Slide 4
The Autumn leaves were golden, red, and brown. One minute she
would have a high, squeaky voice and the next minute she sounded
like a tuba. I can recall the baby lotion smell of Mrs. Thompson. I
would run down the stairs, almost falling face first due to the
slippery plastic on the bottom of my footed pajamas. The sweet
nutty almond taste stayed on my tongue.
Slide 5
Thought/emotion shot Adds a characters inner mental feelings,
evaluations, or opinions. The reader can understand or empathize
with the characters feelings. Takes place inside of the characters
mind. Where the author tells inner thoughts about feelings such as
guilt, fear, worry, hope, desire, or exaggeration. Clarifies why
the character behaves like he does.
Slide 6
She would do the most deplorable act known to a
thirteen-year-old. I decided to be the best smelling girl in the
fifth grade. My thoughts were that if a little perfume smelled
good, then a lot would be even better. I went off to school very
pleased with myself. It was obvious that she owned stock in a hair
spray company. I knew that I belonged in the story. He waited
impatiently.
Slide 7
Action Shot Adds drama to a scene in which the reader watches a
specific event take place. Moves the characters through a sequence
of events. Author takes the time to have the characters act out an
important event, conflict, or problem. Verbs
Slide 8
I would run down the stairs, almost falling face first due to
the slippery plastic on the bottom of my footed pajamas. I would
rip open the tightly wrapped books. Books would go flying through
the air in every direction. Jenny chewed nervously on her
fingernails. We were going down the interstate at fifty- five miles
an hour.
Slide 9
Dialogue Shot Adds conversation to a scene in which characters
reveal conflict, further the plot, or demonstrate their
personality. Quotes two or more characters exact words. Where the
author shows the characters speaking in their own language.
Slide 10
I nodded. Im on my way. Im meeting Mom at the corner. Go on,
then, Dad said, carrying the hose back to the shed. But dont you
cross that street. Dad, I moaned, collapsing in the middle like an
old balloon. There arent even any cars to watch for. Dont kid
yourself, he called back over his shoulder. Theres danger
everywhere.
Slide 11
Shot Search As we read The Kindness of Strangers and Lunch
Tales, highlight, underline, or in some way mark differently
examples of sensory, thought/emotion, action, and dialogue shots
(diff mark for each or diff color) A T/E S EX: He waited
impatiently in the gloomy night, A D then said, Harrumph! In small
group, read and mark Essay 34: Princeton
Slide 12
Your Writing Read over the paragraph your shared. Using the
same marks and/or colors you used to identify shots in The Kindness
of Strangers and Lunchbox Tales and Essay 34: Princeton, identify
places you could add sensory, thought/emotion, action, and/or
dialogue shots in your writing. Write out and mark or color-code
shot additions on a separate paper (post-it notes?) Integrate these
additions into your rough draft before you turn it in.