Writing Standards in Action - Grade 6 Opinion/Argument ... · Web viewB1> Examples: 1, 2, ... 3 The writer provides context clues to define terms that may be unfamiliar to the audience

GRADE 6FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:Massachusetts Curriculum Frameworkfor ELA and Literacy (2017)

“What should good student writing at this grade level look like?”

The answer lies in the writing itself.

The Writing Standards in Action Project uses high quality student writing samples to illustrate what performance to grade level standards looks like—in action.

Writing Standards in Action

Grade 6English Language Arts

Opinion / Argument

Persuasive Essay

Athens vs. Sparta (Pro Sparta)

Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary EducationWriting Standards in Action Projectwww.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa

SAMPLE B6-14b (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)

Accessible MS Word

companion document

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http://www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa

STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY

The student writing sample that follows includes standards-based commentary. The commentary in this column describes how the writing meets the standards in the Massachusetts Curriculum Framework for English Language Arts and Literacy (2017) and other content frameworks when applicable.

Understanding the Standards-Based Commentary

1. Grade-specific standards addressed are:

Listed in the column to the right of student work by strand, grade, and number (or number and letter, where applicable)

Marked by a letter code (in parenthesis), also in the column to the right of the student work

EXAMPLE: (A)

2. The letter codes with a letter-coded arrow beneath each standard in the right column:

Are of the same letter code as the letter in parenthesis that marks the standard being addressed

Mark standards-based commentary related to the standard being addressed

Appear in alphabetical order

EXAMPLE: A1>

3. Corresponding letter coded arrows within the text:

Set off sections of student work to which commentary applies

Do not necessarily appear in alphabetical order—but where evidence of a particular standard exists

EXAMPLE: (begin>) section (<end)


Background Information

Writing Sample Title: Athens vs. Sparta (Pro Sparta)

Text Type and Purpose: Opinion / Argument

Grade level/Content area: Grade 6 English Language Arts

Type of Assignment: Persuasive Essay

Standards Addressed: (W.7.1), (W.6.1), (W.6.4), (W.6.8), (L.6.1), (L.6.2), (L.6.3), (L.6.6)

See descriptions of these standards in the right column of the next page.

Important note about this sample: This sample is the second of two posted opinion argument essays (B614a—Pro Athens and B614b—Pro Sparta) written by different writers in response to the same on-demand prompt. The samples take opposite sides of the same issue and make use of somewhat different elements of effective writing.

BACKGROUND CONTINUES….



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http://www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa

Writing Standards: Grade 7, Standard 1 (W.7.1) Write arguments (e.g., essays, letters to the editor, advocacy speeches) to support claims with clear reasons and relevant evidence.EXAMPLES: (A)

Writing Standards: Grade 6, Standard 1 (W.6.1) Write arguments (e.g., essays, letters to the editor, advocacy speeches) to support claims with clear reasons and relevant evidence.EXAMPLES: (B) (C) (D)

Writing Standards:Grade 6, Standard 4 (W.6.4) Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.EXAMPLES: (E)

Writing Standards:Grade 6, Standard 8 (W.6.8) When conducting research, gather relevant information from multiple print and digital sources; assess the credibility of each source; and quote or paraphrase the data and conclusions of others while avoiding plagiarism and providing basic bibliographic information for sources.EXAMPLES: (F)

STANDARDS ADDRESSED LIST CONTINUES….


Highlights:This sample of student work meets grade level standards. It demonstrates the following attributes of effective writing. The sample:

Addresses appropriately the task, purpose and audience Makes a clear claim and acknowledges the opposing

point of view Organizes a mostly effective argument with a

compare/contrast structure Embeds a mostly effective analysis in the argument Supports and develops clear reasons with relevant

evidence Integrates content appropriate to the indicated

assessment purposes Establishes and maintains an effective style and

appropriate tone Exhibits purposeful and strong control of a variety of

sentence structures Includes precise, effective word choice Demonstrates command of mechanics, grammar,

and usage

BACKGROUND CONTINUES….



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Language Standards: Grade 6, Standard 1 (L.6.1) Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage when writing or speaking; retain and further develop language skills learned in previous grades.EXAMPLES: (G)

Language Standards: Grade 6, Standard 2 (L.6.2) Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling when writing.EXAMPLES: (G)

Language Standards: Grade 6, Standard 3 (L.6.3) Use knowledge of language and its conventions when writing, speaking, reading or listening.EXAMPLES: (H)

Language Standards: Grade 6, Standard 6 (L.6.6) Acquire and use accurately grade-appropriate general academic and domain-specific words and phrases; independently research words and gather vocabulary knowledge.EXAMPLES: (I)

END OF STANDARDS ADDRESSED


Instructional Practices:The teacher used the following practices:

Designed and administered an on-demand writing prompt to assess writing skills and content learning

Designed and presented a pre-writing planning grid

Assignment Description: At the end of a unit of study entitled Athens vs. Sparta, students wrote an on-demand opinion/argument essay in response to a prompt that asked whether Athens or Sparta would have been a better place to live. The prompt was designed to assess content knowledge from a unit of study and the ability to write an effective argument.

Intended Audience: Teacher

Time: Unknown

Writing Process: In class; pre-writing; organizing; drafting; revising; self-editing (Revising and self-editing done in the process of writing a single draft during the on-demand assessment process.)

Materials: Unknown

Please note:The samples may contain inaccuracies in wording and content or shortcomings in the use of standard English conventions

END OF BACKGROUND



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Understanding the Standards-Based Commentary

The student writing sample that begins on this page includes in this column standards-based commentary describing how the writing meets the standards in the Massachusetts Curriculum Framework for English Language Arts (2017) and other content frameworks, when applicable. Where they apply, sub-standards marked by letters are included.

Evidence for the commentary is noted in the text of the student writing using paired letter-coded arrows and colored highlighting.

For example:

A1> Marks the beginning and <A1 marks the end of the relevant section, which is also highlighted. Please note that these labeled items in the text do not necessarily appear in alphabetical order.----------------------------------------------------

Writing. Grade 7, Standard 1(A)W.7.1.aIntroduce claim(s), acknowledge alternate or opposing claims, and organize the reasons and evidence logically in paragraphs and sections.

A1> Examples: 1

The writer opens the sample with a clear claim from which the rest of the argument flows (As you can see, if you were a woman in Greece in ancient times, Sparta is the better choice.).

A2> Examples: 1, 2

The writer acknowledges and rebuts opposing claims (...over in Athens, men all the decisions. You were considered “invisible”, but that exactly the opposite of what girls want. Here in Sparta, girls can own LAND! ... We were actually not bloodthirsty, we were selfless.).


Grade 6—Opinion / Argument

In this sample…

The writer organizes in a compare/contrast format an on-demand argument with an embedded analysis that demonstrates knowledge of content from a unit of study. Careful acknowledgement and rebuttal of opposing claims strengthen the argument and give weight to the writer’s analysis, and a logical progression of ideas creates considerable coherence and clarity. Varied sentence structures as well as precise general academic and appropriate domain-specific language clarify significant concepts and enhance the style and tone of the sample. The effective concluding sentences affirm the analysis, complete the argument, and suggest a course of action. In spite of some difficulties with transitional elements and shifting pronoun persons, this sample is a largely effective on-demand effort to construct a convincing argument and to demonstrate content knowledge.

Athens vs. Sparta (Pro Sparta)

Hey all you ladies out there! I know you would much

rather have a say in politics, but A3> A2>over in Athens, men all

STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY::



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Writing. Grade 7, Standard 1 (continued)

A3> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 The writer creates a largely clear and effective compare/contrast organizational structure (...over in Athens, men all the decisions [AND] Here in Sparta, girls can own LAND!; We were born into equal rights [AND] Athens women, who had to work their way up to equal rights, just like slaves.; In Sparta, plague and disease rarely came to us because we were all very healthy [AND] ...1/3 of Athens’ population died because of a plague.; In Sparta, your attitude was tough, silent and grim. The city’s needs came before your own [AND] Athens focused on things less important than surviving, like arts and poetry.).

Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1

(B)W.6.1.bSupport claim(s) with clear reasons and relevant evidence, using credible sources and demonstrating an understanding of the topic or text.

B1> Examples: 1, 2, 3

The writer supports the claim with clear, although sometimes awkwardly expressed, reasons (But that’s not the only reason Sparta was a better living environment. We also had outstanding health ... Since we had such good health, our military was strong ... In Sparta, your attitude was tough, silent and grim ....).


the decisions. <A3 You were considered “invisible”, but that

exactly the opposite of what girls want. A3> Here in Sparta,

girls can own LAND!<A2 <A3 That means we could turn it into

a spa or salon. Speaking of a spa, you can also take part in

business. We took part in physical fitness training so we could

bear strong sons for the military. A3> We were born into equal

rights,<A3 unlike A3> Athens women, who had to work their

way up to equal rights, just like slaves. <A3 A1>As you can

see, if you were a woman in Greece in I2>ancient times <I2,

Sparta is the better choice. <A1

C> B1>But that’s not the only reason <C Sparta was a

better living environment. We also had outstanding health. <B1

B2>We were very strong, physically and mentally, because of a

bootcamp for young soldiers. B3>The bootcamp was harsh, but

it taught us at a young age to survive on our own, and live in

times of I1>hardship <I1 <B3 Besides bootcamp, Spartans took

part in gymnastics, music and physical training.



STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:

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The writer supports the mostly effective argument and analysis with relevant, sometimes loosely connected, evidence (We were very strong, physically and mentally, because of a bootcamp for young soldiers. The bootcamp was harsh but it taught us at a young age to survive on our own, and live in times of hardship. Besides bootcamp, Spartans took part in gymnastics, music and physical training. In Sparta, plague and disease rarely came to us because we were all very healthy, whereas Athens was often sick. Infact, 1/3 of Athens’ population died because of a plague ... A part of Athens’ defeat was because of our strategies. We formed a blockade at the Athenian port for trade. It was one of their only resources for food, causing most of Athens to die of starvation ... The city’s needs came before your own, and members of the community were treated as equals. All Spartans were selfless and composed individuals who fought for our city. If anyone got sick, which rarely happened, we would care for them and cure the illness.).


The writer provides context clues to define terms that may be unfamiliar to the audience (The bootcamp was harsh, but it taught us at a young age to survive on our own, and live in times of hardship ... plague and disease rarely came to us because we were all very healthy, whereas Athens was often sick ... A part of Athens’ defeat was because of our strategies. We formed a blockade at the Athenian port for trade.).


A3>In Sparta, B3>plague and disease rarely came to us because

we were all very healthy, <A3 whereas Athens was often

sick. <B3 Infact, F> A3>1/3 of Athens’ population died because

of a plague. <A3<B2 Including much of Athens’ population,

the plague killed their leader, Pericles. Pericles had a very

strong I1>impact <I1 on Athens, and I2>trade <I2 and businesses

relied on him for support. After his death, Athens struggled

with despair and loss of leadership, making it hectic. <F

H2>Wouldn’t you rather live in a place where health

I1>abounds <I1 and we are self-disciplined enough to stay

clam and I1>composed <I1 in situations. <H2




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(C)W.6.1.cUse words, phrases, and clauses to clarify the relationships among claim(s) and reasons.

C> Examples: 1, 2, 3

The writer uses words and phrases to provide largely clear relationships among the claim and the reasons for it, creating a logical progression of ideas (But that’s not the only reason ... Since we had such good health ... In Sparta...).

(D)W.6.1.eProvide a concluding statement or section that follows from the argument presented.

D1> Examples: 1

The writer brings to completion the compare/contrast organizational structure in a mostly effective manner that would benefit from smoother transitioning among ideas (... your attitude was tough, silent and grim. The city’s needs came before your own, and members of the community were treated as equals. All Spartans were selfless and composed individuals who fought for our city. If anyone got sick, which rarely happened, we would care for them and cure the illness. Athens focused on things less important than surviving, like arts and poetry. We were actually not bloodthirsty, we were selfless.).

D2> Examples: 1

The concluding sentences effectively affirm the writer’s analysis, complete the argument, and suggest a course of action (Sparta is a safer, better place to live in general, and we are happy to have you. Just remember, you’re fighting for the city, yourself, and freedom. Come enjoy living in Sparta, you’ll love it!).


C> B1>Since we had such good health, <C our military was

strong. <B1 H3>We dominated Athens, <H3 and most other

I2>polis<I2, at war. This allowed us to conquer lots of land for

military camps. H1>The Spartan warriors were brave and stood

strong in war, playing a key role in many Persian Wars. <H1

B3> B2>A part of Athens’ defeat was because of our strategies.

F>We formed a blockade at the Athenian port for trade. <B3 <F

It was one of their only I2>resources<I2 for food, causing most

of Athens to die of starvation. <B2 Those who didn’t were

killed and beaten by us Spartans. The Athenians relied mostly

on their navy in times of war, which could be a major con if

we were fighting on land. In most cases we won wars with

only a few Spartans killed. H1>In war, Sparta is the better

choice. <H1




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(E)W.6.4Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.

E> Overall text reference In the process of completing an on-demand assessment, the writer makes a clear claim and constructs a largely clear and effective argument, while maintaining an appropriate style and tone. Note: Comment refers to the piece as a whole rather than a specific example within the text.


(F)W.6.8When conducting research, gather relevant information from multiple print and digital sources; assess the credibility of each source; and quote or paraphrase the data and conclusions of others while avoiding plagiarism and providing basic bibliographic information for sources.

F> Examples: 1, 2

The writer integrates, in a largely appropriate manner, relevant evidence from the unit of study assessed by the prompt (1/3 of Athens’ population died because of a plague. Including much of Athens’ population, the plague killed their leader, Pericles. Pericles had a very strong impact on Athens, and trade and businesses relied on him for support. After his death, Athens struggled with despair and loss of leadership, making it hectic ... We formed a blockade at the Athenian port for trade ..).


C> B1> A3> In Sparta, <C H3> D1>your attitude was tough,

silent and grim. <B1 <H3 B2>The city’s needs came before your

own, <A3 and members of the community were treated as

equals. H1>All Spartans were selfless and composed

individuals who fought for our city. <H1 If anyone got sick,

which rarely happened, we would care for them and cure the

illness. <B2 A3> Athens focused on things less important than

surviving, like arts and poetry. <A3 A2>We were actually not

bloodthirsty, we were selfless. <A2 <D1




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Language. Grade 6, Standard 1 AND Language. Grade 6. Standard 2

(G)L.6.1Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage when writing or speaking; retain and further develop language skills learned in previous grades.

AND

L.6.2Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling when writing.

G> Overall text reference In an on-demand assessment setting, the writer demonstrates command of mechanics, grammar, and usage. Notwithstanding some errors, meaning is clear throughout the sample. Note: Comment refers to the piece as a whole rather than a specific example within the text.

Language. Grade 6, Standard 3

(H)L.6.3Use knowledge of language and its conventions when writing, speaking, reading, or listening.

H1> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4 The writer contributes to the clarity of the sample and enhances its style by mixing correctly formed sentences of varying lengths and complexity (The Spartan warriors were brave and stood strong in war, playing a key role in many Persian Wars ... In war, Sparta is the better choice ... All Spartans were selfless and composed individuals who fought for our city ... Sparta is a safer, better place to live in general, and we are happy to have you).


H1> D2>Sparta is a safer, better place to live in general,

and we are happy to have you. <H1 H2>Just remember, you’re

fighting for the city, yourself, and freedom. Come enjoy living

in Sparta, you’ll love it! <D2 <H2

END OF WRITING SAMPLE




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Language. Grade 6, Standard 3 Continued

H2> Examples: 1, 2 The writer makes purposeful use of interrogative, imperative, and exclamatory sentences to reinforce the argument and enhance style (Wouldn’t you rather live in a place where health abounds and we are self-disiplined enough to stay clam and composed in situations ... Just remember, you’re fighting for the city, yourself, and freedom. Come enjoy living in Sparta, you’ll love it!).

H3> Examples: 1, 2

The writer crystallizes ideas important to the argument and enhances style with precise and concise language (We dominated Athens ... your attitude was tough, silent and grim.).

Language. Grade 6, Standard 6

(I)L.6.6Acquire and use accurately grade-appropriate general academic and domain-specific words and phrases; independently research words and gather vocabulary knowledge.

I1> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4

The writer enhances the appropriate style and tone of the sample with general academic language (hardship ... impact ...abounds ...composed).I1> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4

The writer makes evidence more authentic and effective by using appropriate domain-specific language (ancient times ... trade ... polis ... resources).

END OF COMMENTARY





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Documents

Writing Standards in Action - Grade 6 Opinion/Argument ... · Web viewB1> Examples: 1, 2, ... 3 The writer provides context clues to define terms that may be unfamiliar to the audience