WRITING TESTWRITING TEST

MARCH 4, 2009MARCH 4, 2009

EVERY ESSAY:

INTRODUCTION

BODY PARAGRAPHS (3 OR MORE)

CONCLUSION

INTRODUCTION

GET THE AUDIENCE’S ATTENTION (Eye catcher or Hook)

BACKGROUND INFORMATION (Any information the audience needs in order to understand the thesis.)

THESIS (Tells what the essay is about)

BODY PARAGRAPH

TOPIC SENTENCE (Tells what the paragraph is about)

SUPPORT (At least three sentences: use personal experiences,

examples from ANY readings [literary, newspapers, magazines, other courses], famous people/events, prompt information provided [quotes, statistics, etc.)

Elaboration (Your explanation of how the support is important

and proving the supports connection to the thesis.) CLINCHER/TRANSITION SENTENCE

(Sums up the paragraph, speaks to the audience, and moves the reader to the next paragraph)

CONCLUSION

Restate thesis (Not in the same words as in the introduction)

Impact Statement (Leave your audience with something to remember such as a vision, thoughtful question, short anecdote, meaningful quote, or call to action. The conclusion should come full circle by giving closure to discussion started in the introduction.)

COMPONENTS OF AN ESSAY

INTRODUCTION Get audience’s attention Background information Thesis

BODY PARAGRAPHS Topic sentence Support (3 or more) Clincher or transitional sentence

CONCLUSION Restate thesis Impact statement

INFORMATIONAL WRITING

DEFINITION

CAUSE AND EFFECT

FIRST TASK

READ THE PROMPT AND IDENTIFY: PURPOSE

(WHY ARE YOU WRITING THE ESSAY? WHAT IS YOUR POINT?)

AUDIENCE(TO WHOM IS THE ESSAY DIRECTED?)

CONTEXT(LETTER? ESSAY? SPEECH?)

TOPIC(THIS IS THE KEYWORD THAT SHOULD BE REPEATED IN EVERY PARAGRAPH.)

If you have identified PACT, and your essay addresses these elements, you have kept your agreement, or pact, with your audience.

DEFINITION ESSAY

Your principal has asked you to submit an essay in a contest sponsored by the local Chamber of Commerce in which you define the concept of “success”. Using the ideas generated in the above quotations, as well as your own experiences, observations, and readings, write an essay giving an extended definition of what you think “success” is.

FIRST TASK

Purpose Inform Chamber of Commerce what

success is Audience

Chamber of Commerce Context

Essay Topic

Success

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAY

Write a letter to your local school board explaining the effects of a “no-pass, no-play” policy on the students in your school. You may use the following information, your own experiences, observations, and/or readings.

FIRST TASK

PURPOSE Discuss the effects of a “no-pass, no-play”

policy on the students in your school. AUDIENCE

Local school board CONTEXT

Letter Topic

“no-pass, no-play” policy

MAKE SURE TO USE:

Dialogue: conversation (assists in showing, not telling) Don’t forget to use quotations marks.

Rhetorical question: Question that does not require an answer

Analogies: comparisons; similes, metaphors Personal experiences, readings, and

observations (famous person, event, literature)

Examples: give SPECIFIC examples to support each topic sentence

Statistics: facts using percentages

Elaboration

Who? Have you explained to whom the event occurred?

Where? Have you made clear where the event took place?

When? Is it relevant that you include when the event happened?

Why? Why is this information included in your essay? Is it important to the topic?

PLAGIARISM

If you use the exact words, you must use quotations and give the source. Example: Time magazine says, “42% of

Americans…” If you use the idea or information,

exact words or not, you must give the source. Example: Time magazine says that

many Americans…

SHOW NOT TELL

Use “I” and “you” sparingly. Use “I” and “you” only when you

are speaking to the audience directly or if you are giving a personal experience.

Do not say, “I am going to tell you…” OR

“This essay is about…”

Dead Words

Eliminate verbs that do not “show.” All linking verbs: am, is , are, was, were,

have, has, etc. All sensory verbs: look, see, touch, smell,

etc.Eliminate words that do not “show.” thing, stuff, a lot, good, bad, got, etc.Be careful about overuse of pronouns: it, its, their, them, he, she, etc.

“Showing” words

Instead use words that “show” what your point.

She is going to the store.Sally strolled past the old barn to Wilson’s BP.

Students have lots of problems with things that take too much of their time after school.

Students experience enormous problems with activities that absorb too much of their time after school.

Transition Words and Direct References

Use transitional words to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs.

Initially, furthermore, moreover, however, additionally, alternately, similarly, on the contrary, conversely, etc.

Use direct references by repeating key words.

If the following sentence is a clincher for a body paragraph:

One of the most important parts of having integrity is being willing to do what is right regardless of the sacrifice or cost to one’s self.

An effective use of direct reference in the topic sentence of the next body paragraph would be:

Beyond the willingness to sacrifice for what is right, integrity involves making model decisions when no one will be aware of your decision.

CONVENTIONS

Complete sentences/No run-ons Capitalize the first word in the

sentence, I, and all proper nouns. End punctuation Commas (If in doubt, leave it out!) Do not use slang, such as

contractions (doesn’t or can’t), abbreviations (& or 4), or inappropriate words (hisself or thing)

Sample Essay – Definition: Success

Colin Powell once stated, “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” This is certainly true. Success is not only defined by good grades or wealth, as many believe. Success is really completing goals by learning from mistakes, persevering through life’s difficult times, and being a positive influence on others.

While some may not normally put the words “success” and “failure” in the same sentence, failure is a natural step to success. Everyday I make mistakes in school that force me to acknowledge I am not perfect. For example, I made a fifty on a science quiz last week; I studied for one hour the day before, thinking I had enough time to learn the notes. Boy, was I wrong! I failed miserably. This week, though, I studied for three days, one hour a day. I made a ninety! My success was not in my grade, but that I learned I needed to study more, which ultimately paid off. Professional athletes make mistakes, too. NASCAR drivers race at

speeds over 150 miles per hour; when one makes a wrong driving move, he can wreck his car and ten others at one time. This happened at this year’s Daytona 500. Greg Biffle got loose in turn four of the race, and ten cars wrecked. Wrecking is normal in a race, but each driver knows that in order to be successful and accomplish the goal of being NASCAR champion at the end of the season, he must learn from his driving mistakes. Those who do will have race cars to win the next races.

Unlike me in my situation or good NASCAR drivers, some people often give up on learning from their mistakes. Others, however, persevere through difficult times to achieve success. Individuals around the world suffer in sickness and terror. Around the world, deadly diseases, such as AIDS, plague thousands. Both adults and children in America are abused and/or killed each day. Despite these terrible hardships, though, people do succeed. Success is achieved when new treatments for diseases are found because a doctor refused to

give up his research. In addition, success is seen in the world when a mother decides to stop the cycle of abuse in her home. Likewise, police detectives were successful in the Lacy Peterson case, never resting until the killer, her husband Scott, had been brought to justice. All of these people “act as if it were impossible to fail” (a quote by James K. Van Fleet). Getting through the difficult times is just that—difficult, but people succeed at this everyday.

Finally, success can be defined as having a positive influence on others. Family, friends, and even strangers can push us to do what is morally right. For example, in To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch demonstrates what one person can do regardless of the harsh realities of racism. He leads by example when he defends Tom Robinson. Finch publicly stands up for what he believes is right, despite the angry community around him. Finch is someone “who has looked for the best in others and given the best he has” (quoted from Mrs. AJ Stanley). He defends Tom with honesty and

integrity, and this character has positively influenced me. I hope I will be as strong in my life as the character Atticus was in his.

In conclusion, success is not limited to having popularity, intelligence, or wealth. People can be successful each day by learning from their mistakes, pushing past life’s hard times, and by positively influencing others. These successes can make a more courageous, self-confident person who is ready to face the world’s challenges, conquering them one by one. Success does not come easily, but it can be achieved daily.

Cause and EffectOn August 20, 1999, CNN published an article titled, “Television’s Effects on Kids: It Can be Harmful”, by Dr. Daphne Miller.

The article stated that the “average child in the United States spends about 25 hours a week in front of the television (including the use of VCR), according to the latest annual Media in the Home survey, conducted by the Annenberg Public Policy Center – a number significantly exceeding the maximum limit suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).”

“Over the past several decades a number of studies have shown that there are several ways that television can be harmful to the mental and physical health of children. That’s not to say that all television is bad for kids. In fact, a number of quality children’s shows…engage kids in positive ways. However, when children watch television frequently and indiscriminately, the effects can be detrimental.” For example:

“The Media in the Home survey found that 28 percent of all children’s shows contained four or more incidents of violence per show – a number that media experts consider high.”

“There appears to be a strong relationship between time spent in front of the television and being overweight.”

“TV watching (especially late-night and violent shows) has been connected with poor sleep patterns in children.”

Using the information presented, your own experiences, observations, and/or readings, write a speech to present to your community’s elementary and middle school Parent/Guardian Associations in which you examine the harmful effects of children watching too much television.

As you write your speech, remember to: Focus on the harmful effects of children watching too much television. Consider the purpose, audience, and context of your speech. Organize your ideas and details effectively. Include specific details that clearly develop your speech. Edit your speech for standard grammar and language usage.

Effects of TelevisionTelevision can be one of the most harmful means of

entertainment in a child’s life. Children are daily being bombarded with violence and inappropriate content. Children spend hours in front of a television and, through lack of exercise, become overweight. Many caregivers tend to overlook these harmful factors that coexist with television programs.

Numerous adults watch the news on a daily basis and are horrified by the outrageous amount of violent acts witnessed around the world. Guns, gangs, fistfights, and many other violent tools are placed into television programs that children watch for hours at a time. Twenty-eight percent of all children’s shows contain at least four acts of violence per show. Even shows such as “Pokemon” seem to be harmless due to the way that the media presents the show to viewers. Realistically, it is a program encouraging fighting to achieve personal gain. This message is hidden beneath fascinating colors and captivating creatures, but nonetheless, it is eminent. Many children have trouble sleeping at night due to the fear that violent television programs have caused them to have. Violence is a message that is detrimental in any child’s life and yet one still views it daily in television programs.

Sexual activities, foul language, and other inappropriate content is expressed in more television shows than one would be able to count. A popular program among many middle school children is called “Friends” and it is a show based on unhealthy relationships with numerous sexual partners, foul language many adults do not use themselves, and even encouraged pregnancies out of wedlock. Middle school children expose themselves to this content and more often than not, elementary school children engage in viewing shows such as this with their older siblings. Sex and foul language are not messages that young children need to be exposed to. Research shows that the more one engages in viewing inappropriate content, the more immune one becomes to noticing when an act in one’s life is inappropriate. Is this immunity an adaptation that will benefit a child’s life? Popular opinion will attest otherwise.

Children today are showing more and more signs of being overweight. Television can be to blame for a great majority of this problem. Many families across the United States have at least two televisions in their homes. This is a wonderful luxury for children who enjoy being lazy. Most children spend, on average, about twenty-five

hours a week in front of a television. The children bring snacks with them and watch their favorite television shows without a second though about exercise. They instead believe that walking from the refrigerator to the couch is enough exercise. Let the world hope that these children grow up to be parents who will not allow their own children to follow the same pattern.

Children today are loving every minute spent in front of a television. It is a shame to know that the shows they watch include violence, inappropriate content, and encouragement to become overweight. The world today has become too immune to the harmful effects of television on children and it is time to show some responsibility and put an end to this destructive cycle.

Guiding Questions for Reviewing Rough Draft Focus:1. Does the writer maintain focus throughout the entire

paper?2. Does the paper accomplish its purpose?3. Are all aspects of the prompt completely addressed?Organization:1. Is the paper written in the proper format?2. Does the writer have a strong introduction?3. Does the writer have a strong conclusion?4. Can the reader understand this writing from beginning

to end? 

Support and Elaboration: 1. Is the topic developed with specific, relevant details? 2. Does the composition have enough elaboration to be convincing? 3. Has the writer used support from their readings? 4. Has the writer used support from personal experiences? 5. Has the writer used support from personal observations? Style: 1. Is the audience appropriately addressed? 2. Does the writer use words that are precise, engaging, and well

suited to the purpose, audience, and context? 3. Does the writer use a variety of well-crafted sentences that

establish relationships between and among ideas and statements?

 4. Does the writer avoid repetition by using a variety of transition words, adjectives, adverbs, and verbs?

  

Conventions: 1. Is the reader distracted by inappropriate/incorrect sentence

structure? 2. Does the writer have a strong command of appropriate grade

level vocabulary? 3. Does the writer use correct punctuation, capitalization, and

spelling? Short Answer: 1. What is the focus of the paper?2. What is the purpose of the paper?3. What factors make this a good introduction? (Anecdote,

unusual statement, startling fact, quote, question, etc.) 4. What factors make this a good conclusion? (Scenario, visual

image, looping, etc.) 5. Who is the audience? 6. What makes the writing effective and convincing?

GOOD GOOD LUCK!!!!!LUCK!!!!!