Writing GuideTHE DEPARTMENT OF CLASSICS AND ANCIENT HISTORY

Writing A Research EssayA Practical Guide for Students

Julia Kindt

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Writing  A  Research  Essay  

A  Practical  Guide  for  Students  

   

Julia  Kindt                              

Copyright  Julia  Kindt      

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Table  of  Contents  

Part  I:  The  Research  Essay  –  A  Practical  Guide    Introduction  ........................................................................................................................................  3  1   The  Research  Essay  –  Why  it  Matters  ..............................................................................  5  2   Timeline  for  An  Essay  .............................................................................................................  7  3   The  Research  Essay  in  Five  Steps  ......................................................................................  8  4   Introduction,  Conclusion  and  What  Else?  ...................................................................  21  5   Further  Basics  .........................................................................................................................  28  6   The  Footnotes  .........................................................................................................................  33  7   The  Bibliography  ...................................................................................................................  35  8   Five  Dos  and  Five  Don'ts  ....................................................................................................  38  9   Procrastination  and  Writer’s  Block  ...............................................................................  40  10   On  Style  ....................................................................................................................................  41  11   Ready  for  Submission?  A  Checklist  ..............................................................................  47  12   Frequently  Asked  Questions  ...........................................................................................  48  13   Further  Reading  ...................................................................................................................  52  Conclusion  ........................................................................................................................................  54  

 

Part  II:  Exercises  and  Examples      1   Finding  and  Developing  a  Research  Question  ...........................................................  56  2   Deriving  a  Structure  .............................................................................................................  58  3     The  Introduction  ...................................................................................................................  59  4   The  Thesis  Statement  ..........................................................................................................  65  5   The  Paragraph  .........................................................................................................................  68  6   The  Footnotes  .........................................................................................................................  71  7   The  Conclusion  .......................................................................................................................  73  8   Giving  your  Essay  a  Title  ....................................................................................................  75  9   The  Bibliography  ...................................................................................................................  77  10   Revising  and  Editing  ...........................................................................................................  79  11   Writing  a  Summary  .............................................................................................................  81  14     Sample  Essays  and  Commentaries  ...............................................................................  82    

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Introduction      

 “A  writer  is  someone  for  whom  writing  

is  more  difficult  than  for  other  people.”  

 Thomas  Mann  

Essays  of  Three  Decades  (1947)    

 A  deadline   looms  –   that  paper  needs  writing.  You’ve  known   this   for   some   time,  just  never  actually  gotten  around  to  it.  There  are  always  other  things  to  do  –  work  to  be  completed,  friends  to  be  seen,  life  to  be  lived.  Now  that  it  is  down  to  the  wire  and  cannot  be  ignored,  you  need  to  make  it  happen  quickly,  but  you  have  no  idea  where  to  start  and  what  to  say.    Sound  familiar?  This  guide  offers  a  succinct,  accessible  and  practical  introduction  to   how   to   write   a   persuasive   research   essay   in   a   limited   amount   of   time.   Its  overall   aim   is   to   give   you   the   skills   and   confidence   to   produce   an   essay   and   to  make  the  experience  and  process  efficient,  successful  and  perhaps  even  fun!    To   that   end,   this   book   provides   both   hands-­‐on   instructions   and   a   number   of  practical  exercises.  Part   I  gives  you  an  outline  of  what   it   takes   to   research,  plan  and  write   a   successful   research   essay.   All   points   are   illustrated  with   examples,  allowing   you   to  make   the   connection   between  what   is   said   in   theory   and   how  things  look  –  or,  rather,  read  –  in  practice.  Part  II  follows  up  the  same  points  with  exercises  you  can  do  on  your  own,  with  a  writing  buddy,  or  in  group  discussion.      Once   you   get   going,   you   will   find   that   writing   can   be   extremely   engaging,  worthwhile,   and   satisfying   –   a   way   of   presenting   your   ideas   and   thoughts   to  others  and  winning  them  over  to  your  point  of  view.                    

     

   

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Part  I  The  Research  Essay  –  A  Practical  Guide  

 

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   1   The  Research  Essay  –  Why  it  Matters      Writing  a  research  essay  may  seem  daunting  at  first.  It   is  usually  something  you  are  asked  or  required  to  do,  sapping  creative  energy  at  a  point  when  you  already  feel   overburdened  with   other   work.   You  might   have   to   write   several   essays   at  once,   or   one   right   after   the   other,   making   the   whole   process   seem   rote   and  mechanical  rather  than  creative  and  engaging.  And  it  does  not  help  that  at  the  end  of  it  all,  someone  will  sit  in  judgment  of  your  work.      Yet  think  about  it:  writing  a  research  essay  is  actually  an  exciting  thing  to  do.  This  is   your   opportunity   to   do   original   research,   contemplate   an   issue   in   depth,   and  present  the  results  in  written  form.  If  you  are  successful,  you  convince  the  reader  of  your  argument,   show  something  new,  or  change  a   long-­‐held  perspective.  You  have   an   impact   –   however   small   –   and   you   contribute   to   human   knowledge.  Surely,  this  ranks  high  on  any  scale  of  meaningful  and  worthwhile  things?    But  there’s  more.  Writing  a  research  essay  is  a  way  of  expressing  your  thoughts.  Words,   and   language   more   generally,   are   intrinsically   bound   up   with   how   we  perceive   the   world.   Together   with   spoken   conversation,   writing   is   the   most  influential   form  of   seeing,   thinking   and   explaining.   This   is  why  universities   and  colleges  place  so  much  emphasis  on  essay  writing.  Researchers  routinely  publish  their   work   in   books,   reports   and   research   papers.   At   least   in   the   Arts   and  Humanities,   the   results   of   academic   research   cannot   be   separated   from   their  written  form.  The  book,  the  report,  the  research  paper  is  the  seeing,  thinking  and  explaining.      Academic  Essay  Writing      Writing  a  research  essay  involves:    1.  Making  an  argument  for  or  against  an  idea.  2.  Supporting  it  with  evidence.  3.  Placing  it  in  the  context  of  an  existing  scholarly  conversation  on  the  topic  by  citing  scholarly  works  in  support  of  particular  points  and  engaging  with  other  scholars’  positions.  4.  Presenting  your  views  in  a  compelling  form  that  follows  the  conventions  of          your  discipline.      This  guide  will  provide  you  with  useful  information  about  all  four  dimensions  of  the  essay  writing  process.      

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So:  academic  writing  introduces  you  to  the  essentials  of  how  to  be  a  researcher,  thinker   and  writer.   Even   if   a   university   career   is   not   what   you   are   aiming   for,  writing  matters  immensely.  To  express  your  thoughts  succinctly  and  persuasively  is  a  useful   tool   for  whatever  you  do   in   life  –  a  means   to  engage   in  conversation  with  yourself  and  others.    This  book  lays  out  the  basics  of  planning,  conceptualizing  and  writing  a  research  essay.   It  starts  at   the  beginning  –  outlining  the  steps  you  take  to   find  a  research  question  and  refine  it.   It  explains  strategies  for  analysing  both  primary  evidence  and   other   scholars’   work,   essentially   taking   you   through   the   entire   research  process,   from  note   taking   and   the   ordering   of   information   to   the  writing   of   the  research  paper  itself.          

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2   Timeline  for  an  Essay      How  long  it  takes  to  complete  a  research  essay  depends  on  a  number  of  factors:  length   or  word   count,   the   amount   of   research   required   for   a   particular   project,  and  prior  knowledge  in  this  area.  The  timeline  below  is  a  general  guideline,  based  on  regular,  medium-­‐length  undergraduate  essays  of  about  3000-­‐5000  words  and  works   with   a   ten-­‐day   timeline   for   researching   and   writing.   This   is   the   bare  minimum  for  writing  a  research  essay;  two  weeks  would  be  better.  And  it   is  not  just   about   the   essay:   the  more   time   you   invest   in   a   given   research   project,   the  more  you  get  out  of  it.        Day  1:     Find  and/or  develop  a  question.  Make  a  list  of  its  different  aspects  

and   dimensions.   Start   your   basic   research   and   note-­‐taking   by  reading   a   few  overview  articles   in   the   general   field   of   knowledge.  Start   compiling  a  bibliography  of   important   titles  on  your   topic   to  read  in  the  next  few  days.  

 Day  2       Basic  research  and  note-­‐taking.    Day  3     Basic  research  and  note-­‐taking.    Day  4     Basic  research  and  note-­‐taking.  Structure  your  thoughts  and  draft    

an  essay  plan  or  outline.    Day  5     Complete  your  notes  by  looking  up  specifics.  Start  writing.    Day  6     Write.    Day  7     Write.    Day  8     Write.      Day  9     Write,  revise,  and  edit  your  essay.    Day  10     Proofread  and  submit  (see  the  checklist  in  Part  I:  Chapter  11).        All  these  steps  are  discussed  in  detail  in  the  following  chapters.          

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3   The  Research  Essay  in  Five  Steps      

Step  1:  Finding,  Developing  and  Answering  a  Research  Question    Every  essay  needs  a  question.  Writing  a  research  essay  is  an  exercise  in  solving  a  problem,   arguing   a   point   and   making   a   case   for   or   against   something.   It   is  therefore  essential  that  you  have  a  research  question  to  which  you  can  propose  an  answer  (see  also  Part  I:  Chapter  4  on  answering  your  research  question  in  the  form  of  a  thesis  supported  by  an  argument).  So  before  you  start  researching  and  writing  your  essay,   it   is  worth  pausing   for  a  moment  and  thinking  clearly  about  what  you  are  being  asked  to  do.  You  may  come  to  an  essay  question  at  different  stages  in  the  development:    1. Thinking   about   a   set   topic/question:   Chances   are   you   were   given   a  question   or   two   by   your   instructor.   In   this   case,   it   is   still   important   for   you   to  consider  the  different  dimensions  of  the  question  before  you  start  researching  it.  What  is  the  scope  of  the  project  set  out  in  the  question?  What  obvious  (and  less  obvious)   answers   suggest   themselves?  What   are   the   assumptions   on  which   the  question  is  based?      The  way   in  which   the  question   is  phrased   sets   the  boundaries  of   your   research  project.   It  also  points  to  a  certain  kind  of  answer.  As  an  example,   let  us  take  the  essay  prompt,  Achilles’  rage  was  justified.  Discuss.  Given  how   this   topic  has  been  put,   your   answer  would   need   to   assess   the   possible   arguments   for   and   against  Achilles’  anger  at  Agamemnon  in  Homer’s  Iliad,  ultimately  settling  on  one  side  of  the  debate.  Alternatively,  the  instructor  could  have  asked  Was  Achilles  right  to  be  angry  with  Agamemnon?  Here,  the  question  requires  you  to  take  a  stance  from  the  beginning,  and  to  make  a  strong  case  for  that  stance  throughout  your  essay.  Make  sense?    By  developing  and  analysing  your  question  before  you  start  working  on  it  you  are  ensuring   that   you   understand   the   scope   and   limits   of   the   topic   of   research.   By  analysing  the  question  first,  you  avoid  missing  the  mark.  Irrelevance  –  no  matter  how  brilliant  –  will  be  penalised.      Instructions  to  ‘assess’,  ‘explain’,  analyse’,  ‘challenge’,  ‘defend’,  ‘develop’,  ‘discuss’,  ‘evaluate’,   ‘comment’   all   require   a   slightly   different   type   of   response.   Think  carefully  about  exactly  what  you  are  asked  to  do  before  you  start  researching  and  writing  your  essay.  Turn  to  the  information  box  Who,  what,  when,  where?  below  in  this  chapter  for  how  a  single  word  can  change  the  essay  question  significantly.    2. Developing   a   theme   into   a   research   question:   As   you   advance   in   your  studies,  you  are  less  likely  to  be  asked  to  answer  a  set  question.  Instead,  you  may  be  given  a  broad  topic  or  an  area  of  research  as  an  essay  prompt,  such  as  The  rage  of  Achilles.   The   challenge   here   is   to   turn   that   prompt   into   a   question.   A   (small)  part   of   your   grade   will   be   derived   from   how   successful   you   are   in   doing   this.  Better  essays  will  do  more  than  simply  rephrase  the  topic  into  a  broad  question  such   as  Why  was  Achilles   angry   in  Homer’s   ‘Iliad’?   Instead,   try   to   come   up  with  something  more  specific.  Chances  are  this  will  make  for  a  more  interesting  essay  

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(i.e.  one  with  a  less  obvious  argument).  How  about:  What  ideals  are  at  stake  in  the  rage  of  Achilles?      If  the  theme  were  Friendship  in  Jane  Austen  novels  we  could  go  further  than  asking  How   is   friendship   represented   in   Jane   Austen   novels,   and   instead   craft   a   more  nuanced   question   such   as:  What  are   the   scope  and   limits   of   female   friendship   in  Jane  Austen  novels?  This  part  of  the  process  –  establishing  the  question  –  can  often  be  one  of  the  most  difficult,  but  it  sets  up  the  flavour  and  direction  of  your  essay  so   it’s   an   important   step   to   get   right.   Turn   to   the   information   box   Not   all  questions   are   created   equal  below  in  this  chapter  on  what  distinguishes  good  from  bad  essay  questions.    3. Formulating  a  research  question  of  your  own:  Lastly,  you  may  be  asked  to   come   up  with   a   research   topic   and   question   of   your   own   choice   –   the  most  advanced  way  of  setting  you  up  on  a  research  project.  First,  decide  on  a  general  field  of  knowledge  that  you  are  going  to  research.  This  can  be  as  broad  as  Homeric  Epic,  English  Literature,  or  Foreign  Policy.  Now  identify  an  aspect  of  this  field  of  knowledge  that  you   find  particularly  interesting:  the  gods  in  the  Iliad,   to  take  an  example.   Try   to   pin   down   why   you   find   it   interesting,   what   aspect   of   it   is  compelling,  and  for  what  reason.  Perhaps  what  you  found  most  curious  in  reading  Homer’s  poetry  was  the  incessant  intervention  of  the  gods  in  human  affairs.  Now  turn  this  aspect  or  reason  into  a  question  and  investigate  further:  To  what  extent  are  humans  in  control  of  their  actions  in  Homer’s  ‘Iliad’?      Once   you   have   settled   on   a   question,   ask   yourself:   Is   it   possible   to   answer   this  question   in   the   limited   time   and   space   I   have?   Is   it   viable,   given   the   evidence  available   to  me?   If   the   answer   to   any   of   these   is   no,   you   need   to   narrow   your  research  question.  Do  not   try   to   rewrite   the  history  of  Western  philosophy   in  a  short   essay,   tempting   as   that  may   seem.   (Save   that   one   for  when  you  decide   to  pursue  a  Ph.D.)  If  in  doubt,  your  instructor  will  certainly  be  impressed  with  all  the  hard   work   you   have   already   done   and   happy   to   help   you  make   your   question  more   specific.   He   or   she  may   also   provide   you  with   some   literature,   or   further  suggestions  on  how  to  go  about  researching  your  question.    Info-­‐Box:    Who,  what,  when,  where?    Small  changes  in  how  a  question  is  put  can  fundamentally  alter  the  nature  of  an  essay.  This  is  because  the  same  topic  can  prompt  different  kinds  of  questions:    What  types  of  friendship  are  presented  in  Jane  Austen’s  ‘Pride  and  Prejudice’?  asks  you   to   discuss   the   different   sorts   of   relations   that   exist   between   friends   in  Austen’s  text,  perhaps  even  looking  for  overarching  patterns  in  the  categories  of  friendships  presented.    How   is   friendship   presented   in   Jane   Austen’s   ‘Pride   and   Prejudice’?   asks   you   to  consider   to   what   effect   relations   between   friends   are   crafted   by   Austen   in   the  world  of  her  Pride  and  Prejudice.  This  question  concerns  the  author’s  presentation  and  manipulation  of   the   theme  of   friendship  as  part  of  her   romantic  novel.  The  focus   here   extends   beyond   the   types   of   friendships   presented,   and   looks   at   the  meaning  given  by  Austen  to  personal  interactions  between  characters.    

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 Info-­‐Box:    Not  all  questions  are  created  equal    Bad   essay   questions   are   too   broad,   too   specific,   or   poorly   formulated.   These  pitfalls  are  relatively  easy  to  avoid  once  you  are  aware  of  them  but  hold  on:  there  is  an  even  more  crucial  test  for  a  good  research  question.    All  questions  –  the  self-­‐set  ones  and  the  ones  given  by  your  instructor  –  need  to  stand   the   “SO   WHAT?”   test.   A   good   research   question   is   one   that   is   worth  answering  because  it  has  implications  that  are  of  interest  to  the  field  of  study.  It  needs  to  extend  beyond  presenting  information,  and  present  a  point  of  interest.  If  you  cannot  articulate  why  a  question  is  interesting,  develop  it  so  that  it  becomes  worth  thinking  about.  If,  after  some  really  hard  thinking,  you  still  cannot  do  this,  dismiss  it  and  start  from  scratch.  It  may  be  painful  at  the  time,  but  it  will  save  you  from  spending  hours  on  a  question  which  in  the  end  has  no  point.        Question  and  Thesis:  A  Complicated  Relationship    Many  students  approach  essay  writing  knowing  that  it  involves  ‘a  thesis’.  Because  of   all   the   attention   it   gets,   this   six   letter   word   can   sometimes   overshadow   the  importance  of  the  research  question  which  precedes  it.  The  temptation  can  be  to  jump   to   finding   a   thesis   statement   on   a   particular   topic   before   you   have  formulated   a   question.   Doing   this,   however,   you   not   only   risk   clinging   onto   an  untenable   claim   which   has   no   evidence   to   support   it,   but   you   may   also   miss  something  interesting  which  the  evidence  does  in  fact  offer.  Look  at  the  flowchart  below   to   help   guide   the   process   and   do   not   be   afraid   to   be   explicit   in   your  introduction  about  both  your  question  and  the  answer  you  propose:                    Once  you  are   clear  about  your  question   try   to   formulate  a  possible  answer   in  a  sentence  or  two  early  on,  and  use  it  as  a  working  hypothesis.  This  will  help  you  at   the   researching   stage   by   directing   your   reading   to   seek   out   certain   kinds   of  information.   However,   be   prepared   to   dismiss   your   working   hypothesis   if   it  proves  unsustainable  once  you  begin  looking  closely  at  the  evidence;  if  necessary,  reformulate  and  adjust.  The  more  experience  you  have,  the  easier  it  is  to  come  up  with   strong   and   viable   working   hypotheses   that   later   evolve   into   thesis  statements.    

Step  2:  Research      Now   that   you  have   a   question,   you  need   to   find   information   that   allows   you   to  come  up  with  an  informed  answer.  This  step  depends  largely  on  the  conventions  of  the  discipline  you  are  studying.  In  the  Arts,  Humanities  and  Social  Sciences  we  

Topic  What  area  will  I  write  about?  What  subject  interests  me?  

Question  What  am  I  asking  in  relation  to  this  subject?  

Thesis  and  argument  

What  is  my  proposed  answer  and  how  will  I  convince  my  readers?  

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usually  distinguish  between  two  different  kinds  of  information:  primary  sources  and  secondary  literature.      Primary  Sources:  Primary  sources  offer  first-­‐hand  (‘primary’)  information.  If  you  write  an  essay  on  the  figure  of  Elizabeth  in  Jane  Austen’s  Pride  and  Prejudice,  for  example,  that  book  will  be  your  primary  source,  together  with  other  sources  from  the  same  period  addressing  or  investigating  the  role  of  women  in  this  society  (for  the  purpose  of  comparison).   If  you  write  an  essay  about  Homer’s  epics,  his  own  writing  as  well  as  other  contemporary  texts  will  be  your  primary  sources.  If  you  write   an   essay   on   the   impact   of   Wikileaks   in   the   modern   world,   official  documents,  statistical  evidence,  government  reports  and  perhaps  even  interviews  you   conduct   all   form   part   of   the   primary   sources   you   will   be   using   for   that  particular  essay.      As  a  rough  guideline  for  those  working   in  historical  disciplines,  everything  from  the   period   you   are   studying   can   count   as   a   primary   source   (including   past  scholarship   from   the   period   you   are   investigating).   And   do   not   consider   only  literary   sources:  material   and   visual   evidence   –   pictures,   photographs   –   can   be  relevant  too.  If  you  are  an  archaeologist,  material  artefacts  will  be  your  main  type  of  source.    Finding   Primary   Sources.   Look   at   source   books,   encyclopaedia   articles   and  scholarly  works  on  your  general  topic  area:  which  sources  do  they  cite?  Also  try  locating   publications   of   new   sources   (such   as   archaeological   reports).   Other  strategies   for   locating   relevant   primary   sources   include   talking   to   a   subject  librarian,  a  more  advanced  student,  searching  the  internet,  etc.  If  still  at  a  loss,  ask  your  instructor.      Interrogating  Primary  Sources.  Primary   sources   need   to   be   analysed   and   vetted  before  you  can  use   them  as  evidence   in  support  of  your  argument.  Ask  yourself  questions  like:      Who  is  speaking  through  a  particular  source?  What  are  they  saying?  And  for  what  purpose?   How   does   this   influence   the   information   presented?   What   is   the  intended   audience?   What   are   its   constraints   in   terms   of   genre?   Does   it   follow  them   or   challenge   them?   What   kind   of   knowledge   on   the   part   of   the  reader/onlooker  is  inferred?  What  aspects  does  the  source  leave  out?    Why?    And,   finally  and  most   importantly:  what  can  the  source  reveal  about  your  topic?  How   does   it   speak   to   your   research   question   and   to   the   problem   you   are  addressing?  If  not  at  all,  you  may  safely  disregard  it.      

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The  Secondary  Literature  Secondary   literature   is   the   modern   scholarly   debate   on   a   topic   (sometimes  referred   to   as   ‘secondary   sources’;   for   clarity   it   is   preferable   to   speak   of  ‘secondary  literature’).  Generally,  you  will  use  it  to  find  further  information  about  a   topic  (including  the  discussion  of  relevant  primary  sources)  and,   in  particular,  for   the   arguments   and   viewpoints   that   constitute   the   existing   scholarly  conversation   surrounding   that   topic.   In   your   essay   you   will   present   your   own  argument   within   the   framework   of   this   conversation.   This   will   involve   citing  scholars  to  support  your  work,  and  critiquing  others.    The   secondary   literature   usually   takes   the   form   of   scholarly   books,   research  articles,  papers  and  reports  published  by  major  international  presses.  A  scholarly  book   chapter   about   emotions   in   Homer   is   a   piece   of   secondary   literature.   A  scholarly   book   on   female   figures   in   Jane   Austen’s   novels   is   again   secondary  literature.   A   scholarly   article   on   the   impact   of   Wikileaks:   again,   secondary  literature.  Make  sense?    Finding  Secondary  Literature:  There   are  many  ways   to   find   secondary   literature  relevant  to  your  topic.  You  might  do  an  electronic  search  of  the  holdings  of  your  local  library  on  your  topic,  or  you  may  search  JSTOR  (see  www.jstor.org)  or  other  digital   libraries   of   scholarly  works.  All   this   should   yield   relevant   and   important  titles.      There   are   a   few   things   you   can   do   to  work   your  way   into   a   field   of   knowledge  quickly.  Pick  up  recent  encyclopaedic  work,  handbook,  or  area  review  relevant  to  your   topic:   these  will  point  you   to   the  most   important  works   in   that  area.  Once  you   have   located   these,   turn   again   to   the   bibliography,  which   should   contain   a  wealth   of   further   reading.   Also   look   at   the   introductions   of   these   books:   these  frequently   include   a   report   on   or   snapshot   of   the   state   of   the   field.   Be   alert   to  works   that   may   have   been   published   after   the   most   recent   monograph   you  consulted.      Engaging   with   Secondary   Literature:   As   with   primary   sources,   secondary  literature  also  needs   to  be   interrogated  before  you  can  refer   to   it   in  your  essay.  The  ultimate  aim  is  to  position  your  own  views  relative  to  what  has  already  been  said  about  a  topic.    

Ask  yourself:      

- Who  is  speaking  here?  Is  the  author  an  expert  in  his  or  her  field?    - What  major  points  does  the  author  make?    - Where  does  the  author  claim  to  be  original?  Where  does  the  author  merely  

present  existing  knowledge?  - On  what  data/information/sources  are  his  or  her  views  based?  Is  this  a  

credible  assessment  of  the  sources?  - Do  I  agree  or  disagree  with  this  scholar’s  point  of  view?  Why  or  why  not?    - Has  he  or  she  looked  at  all  dimensions  of  the  topic?  Has  he  or  she  missed  

something  important?  (If  so,  fabulous!  You  have  found  a  pathway  into  an  original  argument  by  setting  up  your  essay  in  response  to  this  scholar’s  work.  That  PhD  is  in  the  bag!)  

 

13    

 Info  Box:    Unsuitable  secondary  literature  A  number  of  general  reference  works  are  not  sufficiently  scholarly   for  use   in  an  academic   research   essay.   These   include   almanacs,   dictionaries,   encyclopaedias,  school  books,  and  general  ‘coffee  table’  books,  etc.  Even  your  lecture  notes  should  not  be  used  as  ‘secondary  literature’.  Exceptions  to  this  rule  include  authoritative  encyclopaedic   works   written   specifically   for   the   use   of   scholars,   such   as   the  famous  Oxford  Classical  Dictionary  (OCD)  in  Classics  and  ancient  history.    As  a  general  rule:  these  kind  of  publications  and  texts  will  provide  you  with  basic  information   that   is   ‘assumed   knowledge’   and   does   not   require   referencing.   You  may  use  them  to  get  up  to  speed  on  a  particular  topic,  but  do  not  present  them  in  your   essay   as   a   major   source   or   reference   work   from   which   you   derived  information.    What  you  need   to  do  now   is   find  enough   information   in   the  primary  sources   to  allow   you   to   answer   your   chosen   question.   If   you   write   on   friendship   in   Jane  Austen’s  Pride  and  Prejudice,  you  will  look  at  instances  in  which  this  relationship  is   either   thematised   or   acted   out   in   Austen’s   oeuvre.   You   need   to   collect   these  instances  and  think  about  what  they  mean  as  a  group.  If  you  write  on  the  impact  of   Wikileaks,   you   will   need   to   analyse   statistics,   official   reports   and   other  evidence  to  be  able  to  justify  your  position  on  the  influence  it  has  had.    Eventually  you  will  need  to  check  whether  other  scholars  have  already  spoken  to  your  question   and   if   so  what   they  have   said;   it’s   a   good   idea   to   leave   this   for   a  little  later  in  the  research  process.  If  you  kick  off  the  research  process  by  looking  at   the   secondary   literature,   you   could   find   it  more   difficult   to   come  up  with   an  idea  of  your  own.  If  you  find  that  your  essay  has  in  effect  already  been  written  by  someone   else,   refine   your   question   in   the   process   of   your   research   to   point   to  something  new  and  interesting.        Info-­‐Box:    A  Note  on  Note-­‐Taking    Remember   to   take   detailed   notes   throughout   the   research   stage.   In   particular,  look  for  three  different  kinds  of  information:      1.  The  overall  outlook  and  argument  of  a  given  primary  source  or  piece  of                secondary  literature.  You  should  be  able  to  sum  up  in  a  sentence  or  two  what              the  entire  book  or  article  is  about.    2.  Any  and  all  information  pertaining  directly  to  your  argument.    3.  Anything  that  comes  to  mind  while  reading:  interesting  observations,              insights,  points  of  view,  etc.,  even  if  only  vaguely  related  to  the  text  you  are              reading.  This  should  include  notes  on  possible  ways  of  how  to  structure  your              essay.    You  will  need  these  notes  later  on,  at  the  planning  and  writing  stage.  Always  write  down  the  exact  page  number  or  source  from  where  you  derived  a  given  piece  of  information.   There   is   nothing  more   frustrating   than   to   get   to   the   essay  writing  stage   and   find   yourself   unable   to   locate   a   vital   piece   of   information   from   your  research.  

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   Looking  ahead:  Throughout  the  research  stage,  keep  your  working  hypothesis  firmly  in  mind.  Look  out  for  information  that  confirms  or  corroborates  it.  Refine  it  if  necessary.    

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Step  3:  Organise    It  may  be  tempting  to  immerse  yourself  in  the  writing  stage  right  away.  After  all,  by  now  your  mind  is  full  of   ideas  and  examples  and  points  you  want  to  make  –  but  wait!  If  you  start  writing  immediately,  chances  are  it  will  come  out  in  one  big,  incoherent  jumble.  First  organise  your  thoughts  into  a  coherent  structure.  Take  a  step  back   from  all   the  detail  you  have  been  processing  and  think  about  how  to  answer  your  research  question.    If  you  have  a  working  hypothesis,  now  is  the  time  to  revise  or  dismiss  it.  If  you  are   happy  with   your  working   hypothesis,   think   about   the   individual   steps   you  need   to   take   in   order   to   convince   your   reader   that   your   hypothesis   is   correct.  Into  what  essential  parts  can  you  break  down  the  argument  to  prove  the  thesis  right?    Sometimes   it  helps  to   take  a   fresh  sheet  of  paper  or  a  blank  screen,  write  your  research  question  at  the  top  and  note  down  everything  that  needs  to  go  into  an  answer.   Go   through   your   notes   again.   Try   not   to   get   bogged   down   by   detail:  instead,  extract  or  highlight  the  major  points  to  go  into  an  answer.  Don’t  worry  yet  about  structure.  At  this  stage  there  is  no  need  to   limit  the  number  of  major  points  you  note  down.      Info-­‐Box:    Organising  an  essay  –  an  example    Here  is  an  example  of  major  points  you  may  want  to  note  down  in  response  to  a  question  about  the  kind  of  work  historians  do.    Research  question:  How  do  historians  work?    They  write  books  and  articles  They  teach  students  about  the  past  They  interview  eyewitnesses  They  supervise  PhD  students  to  train  future  historians  They  collect  sources  They  give  research  papers  They  visit  archives  and  find  evidence  They  read  books  and  articles    They  travel  a  lot  They  evaluate  sources,  for  example  by  questioning  them    They  read  the  work  of  other  historians  They  enquire  into  the  context  of  a  source  They  tell  a  true  story  about  the  past  They  agree  and  disagree  with  each  other  They  co-­‐author  books      Once  you  have  done   this  again   take  a   step  back.  Go   through   the   list  again.  You  will   find   that   some   of   the   points   seem   to   relate   to   others:   by   specifying   them,  complementing   them,   or   by   highlighting   a   certain   dimension.   Bundle   these  

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points  together  under  a  few  major  headings.  Here  is  the  same  information  as  the  previous  example  rearranged  under  major  headings  (in  bold):    Info-­‐Box:    Organising  an  essay  –  an  example  (continued)    Research  question:  How  do  historians  work?    Historians  disseminate  information  They  write  books  and  articles  They  teach  students  about  the  past  They  supervise  PhD  students  to  train  future  historians  They  give  research  papers  They  tell  a  true  story  about  the  past    Historians  evaluate  information  They  evaluate  sources,  for  example  by  questioning  them    They  enquire  into  the  context  of  a  source    Historians  collaborate  with  other  experts  They  agree  and  disagree  with  each  other  They  go  to  meetings  and  conferences  They  co-­‐author  books      Historians  collect  information  They  interview  eyewitnesses  They  read  the  work  of  other  historians  They  collect  sources  They  visit  archives  and  find  evidence  They  travel  a  lot    There   is   no   limit   to   the   overall   number   of  major   headings   you   end   up  with   –  much  depends  on  your  topic  and  research  question  –  yet  most  research  essays  will  be  structured  under  three  to  five  major  headings.  If  you  have  fewer,  consider  breaking  the  headings  into  several  points.  If  you  have  more,  try  to  bundle  a  few  under  one  single  heading.      The  next  task  is  to  bring  these  major  headings  into  coherent  order.  Every  order  that  follows  a  certain  logic  is  coherent.  Again,  there  is  no  single  formula  of  how  to  go  about  this.  The  kind  of  answer  you  will  give  depends  on  the  question.      Here  are  suggestions  for  structuring  your  essay:      

• Chronologically  –  this  may  work  if  your  argument  follows  a  temporal  order.  

• Pros  and  cons  –  try  this  structure  if  you  are  weighing  up  different  arguments  for  and  against  something.  

• Cause  and  effect  –  are  you  analysing  a  sequence  of  cause  and  effect?  • From  simple  to  more  complex  points  –  ease  the  reader  into  it  and  build  up  

to  the  most  sophisticated  part  of  your  argument.  

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• According  to  importance  –  from  the  least  to  the  most  important  point;  this  structure  will  carry  a  compelling  argument  all  the  way  to  the  finish-­‐line.  

 Returning   once   again   to   our   example,   here   are   the   same   major   (and   minor)  points   put   into   a   coherent   order   according   to   the  workflow   of   how   historians  work:  first  collecting  information,  then  evaluating  it,  and  finally  disseminating  it  in  various  ways.  You  will  notice  that  one  of  the  categories  that  appeared  above  (Historians  Collaborate  with  Other  Experts)   has   been   collapsed   into   the   second  subheading   below   and   one   point   (‘they   co-­‐author   book’)   was   extracted   and  placed  under  Historians  disseminate  information.  Be  flexible  and  creative  when  it  comes  to  structuring  your  work,  so  long  as  you  can  justify  how  a  point  fits   into  your  argument,  it  belongs  wherever  you  decide!    An  Example,  continued    Research  Question:  How  do  historians  work?    1.  Historians  collect  information  They  collect  sources;  they  interview  eyewitnesses  They  visit  archives  and  find  evidence    They  read  the  work  of  other  historians  They  travel  a  lot    2.  Historians  evaluate  information  They  evaluate  sources,  for  example  by  questioning  them    They  enquire  into  the  context  of  a  source  Historians   collaborate   with   other   experts:   they   agree   and   disagree   with   each  other;  they  go  to  meetings  and  conferences.    3.  Historians  disseminate  information  They  write  books  and  articles  They  give  research  papers  They  teach  students  about  the  past  They  supervise  PhD  students  to  train  future  historians  They  co-­‐author  books  They  tell  a  true  story  about  the  past      Now  you  have  a  structure  and  some  detailed  notes  to  pack  in  information.  Take  a  deep  breath!  You  are  now  ready  to  start  writing.      Looking   Forward:   Keep   thinking   about   your   working   hypothesis.   Does   it  successfully  encapsulate  all  of  the  paragraph  topics  you  have  now  set  up  in  your  structure?  If  so,   it  may  be  ready  to  become  your  defendable  thesis!   If  not,  keep  tweaking   it   until   you   feel   confident   that   it   forms   a   justifiable   answer   to   the  question  you  set  out  to  answer.      

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Step  4:  Write    You  are  finally  ready  to  move  on  to  the  writing  stage.  Make  yourself  comfortable  and  have  your  notes  and  other  working  material  ready.      Start  from  the  introduction,  then  flesh  out  the  individual  steps  of  your  argument  following   the   structure   you   devised   earlier.   It   is   absolutely   key   that   your  introduction  includes  some  indication  of  what  you  are  going  to  argue  (read  on  to  Part   I:  Chapter  4   for  a  checklist  of  what  to   include   in  your   introduction).  When  writing  the  essay,  do  not  hesitate  to  amend  the  structure  should  it  emerge  that  another  order  works  better.    Pay  special  attention  to  how  you  put  together  individual  paragraphs  (see  Part  I:  Chapters   4   and   10   on   paragraphs   and   style).   Each   paragraph   reflects   a   single  step  in  the  argument  as  outlined  in  your  essay  structure.      Since  most  essays   these  days  are  written  on  a   computer,   it  helps   to  know   that  you  can  easily  change  things  later.  After  all,  your  essay  is  not  written  in  stone!  So  focus  at  this  stage  mainly  on  making  sure  that  your  argument  flows  well  through  your  paragraphs.  You  can  change  other  details  later.        A   research   essay   consists   of   a   number   of   formalised   parts.   These   parts   are  described  in  detail  in  the  following  chapter        

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Step  5:  Revise  and  Edit    Once  you  have  finished  writing  you  may  feel  you  are  done.  Not  so.  The  last  –  and  arguably  most  important  step  –  is  to  revise  and  edit  your  essay.  Now  that  you  have   told  your  reader   the  whole  story,  go  back  and  make  sure  everything   is   in  good  order.      In  particular,  revisit  your  introduction.  Is  it  setting  up  the  argument  you  make  in  the  main  body  of  your  essay,  or  have  you  actually  ventured  farther  afield  while  writing   it?   If   so,   adjust  your   introduction.   Is   the   thesis   statement   the   strongest  and  most  original  claim  you  can  make  about  the  argument  that  follows?  Chances  are  you  have  pushed  your  argument  further  while  writing  the  essay,  discussing  examples,   and   generalising   from   them.   If   so,   revise   your   thesis   statement   to  reflect  this  (for  more  on  the  thesis  see  below  Part  I:  Chapter  4).  

 Also  check    

• Does  your  argument  flow  well?  Does  each  new  point  follow  smoothly  and  naturally  from  the  previous  one?  

• Does  each  step  of  your  argument  follow  naturally  from  the  previous    one,  or  are  you  making  leaps  in  logic  which  your  reader  may  not  follow?  

• Are  all  your  claims  backed  up  with  evidence  from  the  primary  sources?  • Do  you  credit  all  information  and  ideas  derived  from  other  scholars’  work  

to  their  respective  authors?  (See  also  Part  I:  Chapter  5  on  plagiarism.)  • Is   there   is  any  detail   in  your  essay   that  was   interesting  but   is  no   longer  

relevant  to  your  argument?  If  so,  cut  it.      Edit  your  essay  for  style  

• Go  through  your  essay  a  few  times  to  listen,  check  and  improve  style  (see  also  Part   I:  Chapter  10).   In  particular,  delete  any  superfluous  words  and  phrases  and  replace  overly  technical  words  with  simpler  ones.  Break  up  long  sentences.  Check  for  repetition  of  words  and  phrases.    

 You  will  need  to  go   through  your  essay  more  than  once  to  pick  up  on  all   these  things.  It  may  also  help  to  put  it  aside  and  have  another  look  the  following  day.      And   finally:   do   not   forget   to   proofread   your   essay.   This   is   very   important:  spelling  mistakes,  missing  references,  and  poor  wording  inevitably  suggest  that  you  wrote  your  essay  quickly  and  that  the  ideas  expressed  are  equally  sloppy.  It  also   forms   part   of   your   final  mark.   Sometimes   it   is   difficult   to   spot   your   own  mistakes,  so  you  may  want  to  give  your  essay  to  someone  else  for  proofreading.  Part  of  the  proofreading  stage  should  be  to  check  that  all  titles  mentioned  in  the  footnotes  are  listed  in  the  bibliography.    Once  this  is  done,  print  your  essay.  Check  once  more  that  everything  is  in  order.  You  will   be   surprised   how  many   essays   are   submitted  with   a  missing   page   or  bibliography.   Finally,   staple   everything   together   (to   ensure   your   pages   stay   in  order)  and  put  your  name  on  your  essay  so  that  your  reader  knows  you  are  the  author   (see   also   Part   I:   Chapter   11   for   a   checklist   on   things   that   are   easily  forgotten  before  submission).    

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   Info-­‐Box:  editing  and  revising  an  essay    The  best  essays  go  through  several  rounds  of  editing  and  revisions.  The  reason  for   this   is   that  once  you  have  made  a  structural   change   to  your  essay,  you  will  need   to   read   it   again   to   check   whether   the   argument   still   flows   from   one  paragraph  to  the  next.  If  not,  further  changes  are  necessary.    It  may  be  a  good  idea  to  subject  your  essay  to  at  least  two  rounds  of  revisions:    Revisions,   round   1:   check  whether  your  argument   is   tight,   in  good  order  and  that   all   major   points   are   supported   by   evidence.   Delete   irrelevant   material   if  necessary.    Revisions,  round  2:  check  all  formal  requirements:  typos,  repetition  in  words  or  phrases,  grammatical  errors,  missing   information   in   the   footnotes,  word  count,  consistency  in  the  bibliography,  etc.  Check  whether  you  have  given  your  essay  a  title  (see  Part  I:  Chapter  4  on  what  makes  a  good  title).        Looking  back:  Once  you  have  finished  the  essay,  revisit  the  thesis  statement  at  the  end  of  your  introduction.    Revise  if  necessary  to  make  it  fit  the  argument.      

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4   Introduction,  Conclusion  and  What  Else?      A   research   essay   consists   of   a   number   of   formalised   parts.   Each   of   these   is  detailed  below  to  give  you  a  better  understanding  of  what  is  expected,  as  well  as  how  they  all  fit  together.  

 I. A  Title  

 Don't  forget  to  give  your  essay  a  title.  This  is  not  the  most  important  part  of  an  essay,  but  it’s  definitely  a  fun  part  and  worth  thinking  about.  In  essay  writing  as  in  life,  first  impressions  matter,  and  the  title  is  the  lead-­‐in  to  your  essay.  

 A  good  title  fulfils  two  functions:  First,   it  triggers  the  interest  of  your  reader  in  your  overall  topic.  Second,  it  provides  an  inkling  of  what  you  argue  in  your  essay  (see  ‘The  Thesis’  below).    

 Consider  a  catchy  main  title,  followed  by  a  clarifying  subtitle.  

   

II. The  Introduction      

After  your  title,  the  introduction  is  the  second  part  of  your  essay  your  reader  will  read.  So  again,  shape  this  part  of  your  essay  carefully  and  revise  it  later  to  reflect  what  you  actually  said  in  your  essay.  

 A   strong   introduction   outlines   an   issue,   sets   up   the   question   and  makes  a  case  for  why  this  question  is  relevant.    To   that   end,   avoid   opening   statements   that   are   too   general   to   be  interesting.    (Humanity  has  always…;  In  the  history  of  the  world…  ‘In  all  literature…’;   Since   the  dawn  of   time…).   Instead,   start  with   something  specific:  a  strong  and  interesting  observation  that  draws  your  reader  into   the   topic.   This   could   be   in   the   form   of   an   anecdote   or   a   quote  (which   you   unpack   subsequently),   or   an   example   your   reader   can  relate  to.    

 State   your   thesis   clearly   towards   the   end   of   your   introduction.   You  may   be   as   direct   as   saying   In   this   essay   I   argue…   Avoid   thesis  statements   that   are   too   tentative.   State   how   your   thesis   relates   to  what   scholars   have   said   about   this   topic   before.   Does   your   thesis  agree   or   disagree   with   these   scholars?   Does   it   argue   for   something  previously  not  recognised?  Does   it  extend  existing  views  by  applying  them  to  new  territory?  Does  it  correct  these  views?  

 You  may   finish  with   a   sentence   or   two   on   how   you  will   prove   your  thesis  or,   in  other  words,  how  you  will  structure  your  argument.  You  may  include  a  sentence  like:  I  will  demonstrate  this  by  first  analysing….  and  then,   in  a  second  step,   I  will  compare  this  to…  Do  not   overdo   this  

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kind   of   signposting.   Too  much   of   it   slows   the  momentum   you   have  built  throughout  your  introduction.  If  in  doubt,  leave  it  out.  And  do  not  conclude  your  introduction  with  a  sentence  like:  I  will  show  this  to  be  the   case   drawing   on   primary   sources   and   secondary   literature.   That  goes  without  saying.      The   introduction  may  be  a  good  place   to  mention  any  aspects  of   the  question   or   topic   you   will   not   touch   on   in   this   particular   essay.  Addressing  upfront  any  possible  omissions  in  your  focus  is  an  elegant  way  to  flag  to  your  reader  that  you  are  well  aware  of  some  dimension  to   your   topic   but   unable   to   discuss   it   in   this   particular   essay.   No  conscientious  reader  will  fault  you  for  that.  

 The   introduction   is   also   the  place  where   you  may  want   to   clarify   or  define   important   concepts   or   technical   terms   you   are   going   to   use  throughout.  This  can  be  done  in  the  main  text  of  the  introduction  or  in  a  footnote.      

   

 

Info-­‐box:    Introduction  –  a  checklist    Use   this   checklist   as   a  way   to   ascertain  whether   your   introduction  has   the   main   ingredients   for   a   successful   start   to   your   essay.  Remember   that   there   is   no   exact   formula   for   writing   the   perfect  introduction,  but  if  you  are  at  a  loss  as  to  what  to  include,  this  list  can  be  a  helpful  starting  place.    The  following  points  are  crucial  to  a  good  introduction:    

! Identify  the  subject  area  of  the  essay  topic.  ! Set  up  a  research  question  relating  to  this  area.  ! Make  a  case  for  why  your  question  is  relevant.  

e.g.  by  stating  how  your  thesis  fits  within  broader  scholarship  on  the  topic.  

! State  your  thesis  clearly.    Less  critical,  but  still  relevant  to  many  essay  introductions  are  the  following:    

! How  you  will  demonstrate  your  thesis.  ! Any  omissions  or  definitions,  if  necessary.  

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III. The  Thesis    

Do   not   just   describe,   or,   even   worse,   sum   up   a   piece   of   secondary  literature   or   a   primary   source   (see   Part   I:   Chapter   3   on   primary  sources   and   secondary   literature).   You   need   to   come   up   with  something  at  least  slightly  original  and  interesting.  Give  your  answer  a  certain  spin,  an  edge,  a  direction.  In  short:  

 You  need  a  thesis  and  you  need  to  state  this  thesis  clearly  at  the  end  of  your  introduction.      The  thesis  is  the   claim  you  make  in  response  to  the  question  you  set  yourself  or  that  you  were  prompted  to  answer.    

 A   good   thesis   strikes   a   balance   between   the   obvious   and   the   far-­‐fetched  or  exalted.  An  obvious  thesis  does  not  actually  need  arguing.  A  far-­‐fetched  thesis  may  sound   interesting  but   is  ultimately   impossible  to  prove.    

 Text  box:      thesis  statements  –  an  example      Here  are  two  possible  thesis  statements  for  an  essay  answering  the  question  How  do  historians  work?    1. In  this  essay  I  argue  that  historians  do  a  lot  of  different  kinds  of  

work.    2. In  this  essay  I  argue  that  historians  work  like  detectives.    The   first   thesis   statement   is   too  obvious   to  be   interesting.   Surely  nobody  would  disagree  with  that  claim  so  it  does  not  need  arguing.  The   second   claim   is   strong   and   interesting   and   warrants   an  argument   to   prove   how   this   is   the   case   (i.e.   showing   that  historians,  like  detectives,  collect  evidence,  question  it,  and  make  a  case  based  on  it.)      

Make   sure   your   essay   has   one   thesis   and   not   several.   If   you   have  several   points   to   argue,   try   to   bring   them   together   under   a   single  umbrella   statement.   If   you   cannot,   pick   one   and   develop   it   (rather  than  arguing  all  of  them,  one  after  another).    The   thesis  statement  should  extend   into  a  single,   coherent  argument  in  which  you  persuade  your  reader  that  your  claim  is  correct.  

   

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IV. The  Argument    The  argument   is   the  case  you  make  to  convince  your  reader  that   the  claim  you  make  (your  thesis)  is  true.        To   do   so   you   will   present   evidence   from   the   primary   sources  supporting  your  points.  This  evidence  needs   to  be  explained   to  your  reader  in  terms  of  what  it  shows.  At  the  same  time,  you  will  also  draw  on  what  other  scholars  have  said,  either  in  support  of  your  argument,  or  to  position  yourself  against  it.    A  successful  argument  does  not  just  restate  its  basic  claim  but  evolves  throughout  the  essay.  A  successful  argument  consists  of  several  steps.  Every  new  step  requires  a  new  paragraph  (this   is  discussed   in  more  detail  below   in   this  chapter).  You  have  a  coherent  argument   if  every  new  step  in  your  argument  naturally  follows  from  the  previous  one.  If  an  observation  does  not  fit  your  line  of  thought,  cut  it  (no  matter  how  interesting  it  may  be  in  itself).  

 V. The  Paragraph  

A   paragraph   is   a   single   unit   or   step   of   your   argument.   Start   every  paragraph  with  a   strong  opening   line,   introducing   the  new   idea  you  develop  in  that  paragraph.      Substantiate   this   idea   by   introducing   evidence   and   developing   it.  Every   paragraph   needs   to   be   related   to   your   thesis   (your   overall  claim).  If  it  is  not,  it  is  probably  irrelevant  and  should  be  cut.      Take  special  care  to  keep  your  argument  evolving  throughout.  To  do  so,  try  to  avoid  a  paragraph  structure  which  reads  like  a  shopping  list,  giving   nothing  more   than   examples   to   back   up   your   thesis.   Instead,  make  sure  that  each  paragraph  takes  your  argument  one  step  further,  contributes   a   new   aspect   or   a   new   dimension   to   your   argument.  Irrelevance  will  be  punished!    

VI. Presenting  Evidence    

Throughout  your  essay,  present  evidence  to  substantiate  your  claims  and  make  your  argument  more  compelling  and  persuasive.  Whenever  you   refer   to   information   from   primary   sources,   state   how   it   is  relevant  to  your  argument.      Tell  the  reader  what  you  see  –  and  what  you  want  them  to  see  –  in  the  evidence.  This  works  best  if  you  do  so  in  a  way  that  your  reader  feels  they   have   discovered   this   for   themselves.   Avoid   overly   didactic  statements.  Readers  do  not  like  to  be  patronised.      

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Think  critically  about  the  evidence.  Who  is  speaking  here  and  for  what  reason?  (See  Part  I:  Chapter  3)  Do  not  take  things  at  face  value.  Look  behind  the  lines.  Investigate  assumptions.  Evaluate.  Interpret.  

   Text  box:    Bias,  Bias  Everywhere…    Are   primary   sources   and   secondary   literature   potentially   ‘biased’?   Is   this  something   you   should   worry   about?   Beginning   undergraduate   students   in  particular  often  feel  tempted  to  comment  on  the  ‘bias’  of  primary  sources  or  the  secondary  literature.  In  most  cases  this  is  not  a  productive  way  into  a  discussion  of  what  a  source  can  contribute  to  your  research:  all  authors  and  texts  (including  yours)   are   written   from   a   particular   perspective   and  with   a   particular   aim   in  mind.  All  human  observation  –  even  the  most  meticulous  –  is  in  its  way  selective,  partial  and  focused  on  a  particular  aspect  of  reality.      This   is   not   necessarily   a   problem.   On   the   contrary,   the   specific   outlook   of   a  primary   source   may   be   exactly   what   makes   this   source   interesting   for   the  researcher.  For  example,  if  you  write  an  essay  about  attitudes  to  women  in  18th  century  Britain,  you  would  take  a  contemporary  author’s  position  on  women  as  a  point   of   departure   to   explore   whether   it   conveys   typical   contemporary   views  and   attitudes.   That   ‘bias’   would   be   exactly   what   makes   this   text   suitable   as  evidence.    So  in  examining  primary  evidence,  keep  the  focus  on  what  kind  of  information  you  can  derive  from  a  particular  source  to  use  in  your  essay.      If  a  piece  of  secondary  literature  is  biased  to  the  extent  that  it  is  tendentious  or  sensationalist,  it  is  probably  not  a  piece  of  serious  scholarly  work  and  so  should  not  be  used  in  your  essay.      To   avoid   accusations   of   negative   bias  yourself,   consider   a   pre-­‐emptive   strike:  address   in   the   body   of   your   essay   any   concerns   or   reservations   your   reader  might   raise   against   your   argument.  Keep   the   reader’s   perspective   in  mind   and  always   ask   yourself   how   one   could   argue   against   you.   If   you   have   identified   a  point  your  reader  may  find  problematic,  address   it  directly  and  state  why  your  argument   still   holds   true.   Anticipating   and   dismantling   potential   criticism  upfront  is  an  elegant  strategy  to  win  over  your  reader.        If   you   write   about   a   work   of   literature,   avoid   too   much   summary   of   content.  Assume  an   informed   reader.  Assume  your   reader   is   familiar  with   the   literary  territory.    Use  quotes  and  citations  from  the  primary  sources  and  the  secondary  literature  to   back   up   and   substantiate   your   argument   (see   in   detail   Part   I:   Chapter   5   on  citing  and  quoting).  Your  handling  of  the  secondary  literature  should  also  show  a  critical  stance.  Do  not   just  reiterate  another  scholar’s  position.  Tell  your  reader  

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why   are   you   agreeing   or   disagreeing   with   someone   else’s   work   (see   in   more  detail  Part  I:  Chapter  3  on  researching  and  using  sources).    

VII. The  Conclusion    Like   the   introduction,   the   conclusion   is   an   important   part   of   your   essay.   Final  impressions  matter  almost  as  much  as  first  ones.        The  conclusion  is  the  place  to  sum  up  and  round  off  your  argument,  presenting  once  again  the  light  your  views  shine  on  the  topic.  You  may  for  example  suggest  where   your   topic   could   be   taken   further   in   future   scholarship   or   point   to  questions  that  remain  to  be  asked.      As  a  general   rule,  do  not   introduce  new   ideas  or  perspectives  here,  but  offer  a  broader  outlook  on  the  terrain  you  have  covered.      Make   sure   your   conclusion   does   not   end   abruptly   in   the   middle   of   a   train   of  thought.  Create  a  sense  of  closure  by  reflecting  on  the  larger  implications  of  your  argument,  or  by  suggesting  where  one  could  go  next  in  researching  the  problem.      

VIII. The  Bibliography    Because   you  have  been  writing   a   research   essay,   you  will   need   to   list   all   titles  consulted   (both   the   primary   sources   and   the   secondary   literature)   in   a  bibliography  at  the  end  of  your  essay.  One  way  to  do  this  is  to  have  two  separate  sections,  one  for  the  primary  sources  and  one  for  the  secondary  literature.      Your  bibliography  should  include  books  and  articles  referred  to  in  the  main  body  of  your  essay  as  well  as  those  cited  only  in  a  footnote  (see  Part  I:  Chapter  6).  The  bibliography  should  also   list  any  other  works  you  may  have  consulted   that  did  not  make  it  into  either  the  main  text  or  the  footnotes.      List  all  titles  (book  titles  and  journal  articles,  etc.)  alphabetically  by  the  author’s  surname.      There  are  different  styles  of  listing  titles  in  a  bibliography.  Individual  styles  may  differ   in   whether   they   include   the   publisher   of   books   (e.g.   Sydney   University  Press)   or   whether   they   put   the   year   of   publication   in   brackets   (see   Part   I:  Chapter  7  for  more  information  and  examples).    Whatever   style   you   adopt,   it   is   important   that   you   apply   it   consistently   to   all  titles  included  in  your  bibliography.    Check  for  consistency  in  the  bibliography  as  part  of  the  proofreading  process.    If  you  are  in  doubt  as  to  which  style  to  follow,  ask  your  instructor.    

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IX. The  Summary  or  Abstract    You  may  be  asked  to  provide  a  summary  or  an  abstract  together  with  your  essay.  To  do   this,   lay   out   the  major   steps   by  which   you   advance   your   argument.   You  may  want  to  start  from  the  conclusion  rather  than  the  introduction,  since  in  your  conclusion  you  will  already  have  summarised  the  core  ideas  of  your  essay.      As   to   the  structure  of  your  summary:  The   first   sentence  of  your  summary  may  restate   the   question.   The   second   sentence   may   restate   your   thesis   or   claim.  Subsequent   sentences  will   then  reiterate   the  major  steps  by  which  you  proved  your  claim  and  present  them  in  a  larger  context.  You  may  also  want  to  reflect  on  where  one  could  go  next  in  discussing  the  larger  implications  of  your  work.  

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5   Further  Basics    There   are   a   few  more   things   to   consider   when   writing   a   research   essay.   The  following   list   gives   you   an   overview.   The   topics   are   arranged   in  alphabetical  order,  so  you  can  look  up  a  particular  item  later  on  when  you  are  in  the  midst  of  your  essay.    Citing  and  Quoting    A   citation   is   a   simple,   non-­‐verbatim   reference   to   a   primary   source   or   the  secondary  literature.      

Example:  Santa  seems  to  have  a  particular  fondness  for  fluffy  reindeer.1    A   quote   is   a   verbatim   representation   of   a   word,   sentence   or   passage   from   a  primary  source  or  the  secondary  literature.      

Example:  As  Santa  states  succinctly,  ‘I  like  reindeer  –  particularly  the    fluffy  ones.’2  

 When  to  cite,  and  when  to  quote?  Quote  when  –  and  only  when  –  the  wording  of  a  primary  source  or  passage  matters  to  your  argument.  If  you  just  want  to  point  your  reader  to  any  given  piece  of  information,  you  cite.  It  is  that  simple.    And  finally:  one  footnote  per  sentence,  please!  Footnotes  should  be  placed  at  the  end  of  the  sentence  or  paragraph  to  which  they  refer.  This  allows  the  reader  to  finish  the  sentence  or  paragraph  before  looking  up  the  information  to  which  you  refer.      If   a   quote   is   longer   than   four   lines,   you   should   set   it   out   as   a   block   quote,  separated  from  the  text.  In  this  case:    

• Introduce  the  block  quote  with  a  colon.    • Do  not  use  quotation  marks.  Quotes  within  the  quote  are  an  exception  to  

this  rule.  • Add  a  footnote  at  the  end  referring  to  the  source  from  which  the  quote  is  

derived.      

Example   (illustrating   these   three   points):   Santa’s   memoires   contain  many  conversations  with  his  wife  which   reveal  how   the   reindeer  play  a  central  role  in  their  lives:  

 Mrs.   Claus   and   I   had   a   long  discussion   about   the   reindeer   tonight.   I  like  reindeer  –  particularly  the  fluffy  ones.  Prancer  and  Vixen’s  fur  are  extra   fleecy   at   the   moment   and   though   it   keeps   them   warm   while  

                                                                                                               1  Claus  2016,  22.  2  Claus  2016,  22.  

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we’re  at  home,  they  do  complain  that  they  get  hot  on  Christmas  Eve,  especially  when  we  visit  sunny  Australia.3  

 Feedback      On   most   occasions   you   will   receive   detailed   feedback   on   your   essay.   This  feedback  usually   responds   to   the   content   of  your  essay   (the   relevance  of  your  question,  the  originality  of  your  thesis,  the  plausibility  of  your  argument)  as  well  as  the  form  in  which  you  have  presented  your  ideas  (the  use  of  evidence  to  back  up  claims,  the  critical  engagement  with  the  secondary  literature,  proofreading).  Your   instructor   may   make   specific   comments   on   the   margins   of   your   essay  and/or  provide  a  short  discussion  at  the  end.      You  may   care   only   about   the   grade   you   have   received   and   not   the   comments.  However,  it  is  important  that  you  read  the  feedback:  it  will  help  you  to  do  (even)  better   next   time   around.  When   you  write   your   next   research   essay  make   sure  you   don’t   repeat   any   mistakes.   It   may   be   helpful   to   write   yourself   a   brief  summary  of  feedback  and  any  insights  that  you  can  carry  over  to  your  next  piece  of  work.      If  you  do  not  understand  a  comment  or  disagree  with  it,  do  not  hesitate  to  talk  to  your  instructor.  It  is  perfectly  fine  to  ask  for  clarification.      Footnoting      A  quote   or   any   other   piece   of   information   that   is   not   general   knowledge  must  always  be  followed  by  a  footnote  explaining  its  source.  This  applies  in  particular  to  other  scholars’  theses  and  viewpoints.      It  is  good  practice  to  place  footnotes  at  the  end  of  a  sentence  (even  if  they  refer  to  something  in  the  beginning  or  middle)  in  order  to  allow  your  reader  to  finish  the  sentence  first  before  they  look  up  the  information  included  in  the  footnote.        There   is   a   tendency   to   move   all   information   that   does   not   fit   in   the   main  argument  into  the  footnotes.  This  can  result  in  lengthy  footnotes  that  in  extreme  cases  are  bulkier   than   the  argument   itself.  Keep   the   footnoting   relevant  and   to  the  point.      Another  option  is  endnotes  (see  Part  I:  Chapter  6).    

                                                                                                               3  Claus  2016,  22.  

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Originality    The  more  advanced  you  get   in  academic  writing,   the  more  you  are  asked  to  be  original.   After   all,   this   is   what   research   is   all   about:   making   an   original  contribution   –   however   small   –   to   the   body   of   existing   knowledge.   And   if   you  continue  on  to  do  a  research  degree,  originality  becomes  ever  more  important.    At  first,   this  may  sound  daunting.  You  may  wonder  how  you  can  possibly  come  up  with  something  new  and  exciting  in  an  area  of  study  where  so  much  has  been  said  already,  and  by  people  who  have  studied  the  material  for  much  longer  than  you.      Truth  is,  it  can  actually  help  to  come  to  a  topic  as  a  relative  novice.    A  fresh  look  at  the  evidence  might  reveal  something  that  nobody  has  seen  before.  Moreover,  the   questions   scholars   tend   to   ask   change   over   time.   This  means   that   there   is  always   a   new   perspective,   a   new   point   of   view,   a   new   line   of   enquiry   to   be  pursued.  Alternatively,   you  may   find   that  while  past   scholarship  has  posed   the  right   questions,   you   disagree   with   the   answers.   Or,   you  may   work   in   an   area  where  new  evidence  changes  the  landscape  and  conjures  up  new  horizons.        Beyond  the  many  ways  you  can  be  original  and  bring  a  fresh  perspective,  there  are   two   principal   ways   to   set   up   an   original   argument:   relative   to   primary  sources   and   secondary   literature.   First   look   at   the   evidence:   Can   you   can   find  something   that   nobody   has   registered/addressed/noticed   before?  With   regard  to  the  secondary  literature,  check  what  other  scholars  have  said  about  an  issue.  Then  ask:  Do   I   agree  or  disagree,   and  on  what  grounds?   Is   there  any  aspect  of  this  topic  that  has  not  been  considered  so  far?    Plagiarism    You  may  be  unclear  what  plagiarism  is  and  how  to  avoid  it,  especially  if  you  have  just  started  studying.  In  a  nutshell:  plagiarism  is  passing  off  someone  else’s  work  as   your   own.   This   can   take   a   number   of   forms:   taking   information   from   the  secondary  literature  without  referencing  it;  using  an  idea,  thesis  or  claim  without  crediting   it   to   its   original   author;   copying  phrases,   sentences  or  passages   from  published  or  unpublished  work  in  your  essay  without  referencing  them;  trying  to  conceal  this  by  paraphrasing  sentences  or  passages  in  your  essay;  purchasing  a  complete  essay  on  the  internet.      Universities   take   plagiarism   extremely   seriously.   After   all,   they   are   in   the  business  of  ideas;  and  taking  someone  else’s  ideas  and  passing  them  off  as  your  own   is   not   only   unfair,   insincere   and   fraudulent,   it   is   also   corrupting   a  university’s   currency.   Colleges   and   universities   require   professors   to   report  cases  of  plagiarism  and  you  may  be  asked  to  come  in  and  speak  to  a  plagiarism  officer.   In   the  worst   instance   you  may   fail   the  unit   or,   as   a   repeat   offender,   be  expelled  from  university  altogether.      My  advice:  don’t  do  it!  The  apparent  short-­‐term  benefit  is  not  worth  the  potential  damage.  It  will  also  erode  your  self-­‐esteem.    

31    

 Avoid  plagiarising   by   crediting   all   ideas   to   their   original   author   and  by   clearly  referencing   the   origins   of   any   words   and   phrases   that   are   not   your   own   (see  below  ‘Referencing’).    Quoting  (see  ‘Citing’)    Referencing    Academic   essays   build   on   the   work   of   other   scholars   whose   contribution   you  need  to  acknowledge.  Referencing  is  telling  your  reader  –  in  a  footnote  or  in-­‐text  reference   –   where   you   have   derived   a   certain   piece   of   information   (see   also  ‘Footnoting’   above).  Moreover,   your   essay   participates   in   an   ongoing   scholarly  conversation;  it  is  essential  that  your  reader  understands  not  only  what  you  are  saying   but   to   whom   you   are   speaking,   when,   and   how.   Referencing   helps  strengthen  the  context  of  that  dialogue.        What   information  needs   a   reference?  The   short   answer:   everything   that   is   not  general  or  encyclopaedic  knowledge  or  your  own  original  thought.  In  particular  original  research,  other  scholars’  ideas,  and  viewpoints  need  to  be  attributed  to  their  original  authors  to  give  due  credit  to  those  who  first  had  them,  to  put  these  views  in  context,  and  to  avoid  accusations  of  plagiarism  (see  above:  ‘Plagiarism’).    There  are  two  different  ways  to  point  your  reader  to  information  you  give  them:  citing  and  quoting  (see  above:  ‘Citing’).    If   your   instructor   has   not   given   you   specific   referencing   guidelines,   you   may  want   to   ask   what   kind   of   referencing   style   is   preferred.   There   are   several  different   referencing   styles,   some   of   which   are   specific   to   a   certain   discipline.  When  you   come   to  publishing  your  work,   journals   and  publishers   also   require  that  you  follow  their  ‘house  style’.  If  in  doubt,  ask.    Once   you   adopt   a   certain   referencing   style   it   is   important   that   you   follow   it  consistently   throughout   your   essay.   Checking   for   consistency   in   referencing   is  part  of   the  proofreading  and  editing  process   (see  Part   I:  Chapter  3  on   revising  your  work).      For   a   sample   footnoting   and   bibliographic   style   see   Part   I:   Chapters   6   and   7,  respectively.    Sources,  secondary    Some   people   refer   to   the   scholarly   literature   as   ‘secondary   sources’.   To   avoid  confusion  and  because  the  primary  evidence  has  to  be  used  very  differently  from  the   scholarly   literature,   it   is   preferable   to   refer   to   existing   scholarship   as  secondary  (or  ‘scholarly’)  literature.        

32    

Storytelling    At  the  heart  of  every  good  essay  there  is  a  true  story.  A  compelling  story  draws  the  reader  quickly   into   the   topic  and  sustains  his  or  her   interest   throughout.  A  compelling   story  also  builds  up   to  a  major  punch   line  or   incident.  Think  about  your   story   and   how   best   to   tell   it.   Start   and   end   strongly   and   maintain   your  reader’s  interest  throughout.            

33    

6   The  Footnotes    Footnotes   are   short   units   of   information   placed   at   the   bottom   of   the   page,  pointing  your  reader  to  the  origin  of  the  information  in  your  essay.  The  footnote  is   where   you   include   information   on   the   relevant   primary   and   secondary  literature  (see  Part  I:  Chapter  4).    Footnotes  can  also  contain  definitions,  clarifications  or  further  thoughts  that  did  not  fit  into  the  main  body  of  your  essay  but  that  you  still  deem  significant  enough  to  bring  to  your  reader’s  attention.  With  regard  to  this  kind  of  information:  keep  it  simple  and  in  proportion  to  the  information  presented  in  the  main  argument.      Footnotes  appearing  at  the  end  of  an  essay  or  article  are  endnotes.  Use  endnotes  only  if  directed:  they  are  more  difficult  for  the  reader  to  follow  and  therefore  less  widely  used.  In  research  essays  in  the  Arts  and  Humanities,   footnotes  are  more  usual  and  widespread  than  in-­‐text  references,  which  are  customary  in  the  Social  Sciences.      The  way  you  present  information  on  primary  sources  and  secondary  literature  in  the  footnotes  is  determined  by  a  set  of  rules  that  comprise  a  citation  style.  Your  instructor  may  prefer  a  particular  citation  style,  in  which  case  follow  it;  but  more  often  than  not,  any  style  is  fine  as  long  as  you  follow  it  consistently.      Here   is   a   sample   citation   style   for   the   secondary   literature.   See   also   Part   I:  Chapter  5   for   information  on  when  to  add  a   footnote.  Whichever   you   choose,  remember:  consistency  is  key!      If  you  want  to  refer  to  pages  12-­‐24  of  this  book:    

Claus,  S.  (2016)  The  North  Pole:  A  Travel  Guide.  New  York.    Abbreviate  it  like  this  in  the  footnote:       Claus  2016,  12-­‐24.    If  you  want  to  refer  to  this  article  as  a  whole:      

Helper,  A.   (2009)   ‘Advanced   cookie   recipes   for  professionals’,   Journal  of  Seasonal  Baking  25,  1-­‐30.  

 Abbreviate  it  like  this  in  the  footnote:       Helper  2009.      If  you  want  to  refer  to  page  15  of  this  article,  the  footnote  will  look  like  this:    

Helper  2009,  15.    

34    

If  you  want  to  list  both  titles  in  a  footnote,  put  it  like  this:    

Helper  2009,  15;  Claus  2016,  12-­‐24.    Please  note:    

• The  full  title  of  all  works  referred  to  in  the  footnotes  must  be  listed  in  the  bibliography  of  your  essay  (see  Part  I:  Chapter  7).  

• In  this  citation  style,  strings  of  titles  in  the  footnotes  should  be  in  chronological  order  and  separated  by  a  semicolon.  

• This  citation  style  should  be  used  from  the  very  first  time  you  refer  to  a  given  title  in  a  footnote.  It  is  not  necessary  to  give  the  full  title  the  first  time  you  cite  a  book  or  an  article  in  a  footnote;  the  reader  can  easily  look  that  up  in  your  bibliography.  

• Try  to  avoid  f.  or  ff.  (for  following  page  or  following  pages)  and  give  a  precise  page  range  instead.  The  same  applies  to  the  use  of  ibidem  or  Ibid.  (‘in  the  same  place’)  for  subsequent  citations  from  the  same  book  or  article.  It  doesn’t  save  space  and  it  looks  sloppy.    

• In  addition  to  these  guidelines  there  may  also  be  discipline-­‐specific  rules  you  need  to  follow,  for  example  when  citing  primary  sources.  If  in  doubt,  ask  your  instructor.  

       

35    

7   The  Bibliography      

Every   essay   needs   a   bibliography   listing   not   only   all   titles   you   refer   to   in   the  footnotes,  but  all   titles  you  consulted.  Usually   the  bibliography   is   at   the  end  of  your  essay.  Your  bibliography  needs  to  follow  a  certain  bibliographic  style  and  this  style  needs  to  be  followed  consistently.      The   bibliographic   style   defines  what   kind   of   information   you   present   in   the  bibliography  and  how  you  present  this  information.      Here   is   a   sample   bibliographic   style.   How   a   title   is   listed   in   the   bibliography  depends   on  whether   it   is   a   book   by   a   single   author   (a  monograph),   an   edited  book,  a  chapter  in  an  edited  book,  or  a  journal  article.      

Book/monograph  

Claus,  S.  (2016)  The  North  Pole:  A  Travel  Guide.  New  York.  

 

Book/edited  volume  

Elf,  F.  (ed.)  (2008)  Snow:  An  Eyewitness  Report.  North  Pole.  

 

Elf,  F.  and  Reindeer,  R.  (eds.)  (2006)  What  Does  Santa  Do  in  Summer?  Sydney.  

(for  a  co-­‐edited  volume)  

 

A  chapter  in  an  edited  volume  

Reindeer,  S.  (2015)  ‘How  to  manage  a  bunch  of  unruly  elves,’  in  Santa,  C.  (ed.)  

Managing  the  Festive  Season.  New  York,  3-­‐28.  

 

A  journal  article    

Helper,  A.  (2009)  ‘Advanced  cookie  recipes  for  professionals,’  Journal  of  Seasonal  

Baking  25,  1-­‐24.  

 

For  a  book  first  published  in  another  language    

Please  note:  this  information  is  usually  included  in  the  front  matter  of  a  book.  

Santa,  C.  (2016)  How  to  Assemble  a  Gingerbread  House,  transl.  D.  Elf.  Oslo.  

(Norwegian  orig.  2011)  

 

36    

For  a  book  with  several  volumes  

Helper,  D.  (2000/2003)  Ten  Creative  Things  to  Do  with  Wrapping  Paper,  2  vols.  

Oslo.  

• Collapse  both  dates  if  all  volumes  of  a  book  are  published  in  the  same  

year.  

 

More  Things  to  Consider:  

• Hardbacks  and  paperbacks:  Most  academic  books  are  first  published  as  a  hardback.  Paperback  editions  of  widely-­‐sold  books  usually  come  out  a  few  years   later   (if   the  book   sold  well).   In   your  bibliography   you   should  always   list   the   first   (hardback)   edition,   but   it   is   okay   to   use   paperback  editions  to  check   information  –   they  usually  have  the  same  pagination  –  but  check  when  the  hardback  edition  was  first  published.  Normally  this  is  available  in  the  front  matter  of  a  book,  along  with  copyright  information.  

• Multiple  editions:  Some  (particularly  popular)  books  go  through  several  editions.  List  the  edition  you  actually  used  in  the  bibliography.  If  there  is  an  updated  and  revised  edition  use  that  one.  

• Translations   of   secondary   literature   items:   Some   particularly  important  books  are  translated  into  English  from  other  languages.  In  this  case   it   is   fine   to   use   the  English   edition,   but   add   translator   information  when  you  list  the  title  in  the  bibliography.  E.g.  Claus,  S.  (2016)  Too  Many  Presents:  Do  We  Need  a  Second  Santa?  transl.  A.  Elf.  Sydney.     (Norwegian    orig.  2011).    

• Foreign   language   titles:   Special   care   should   be   given   to   titles   in  languages   other   than   English.   Different   rules   regarding   capitalization   of  words  in  the  title  may  apply.      

 Here  is  a  sample  bibliography  on  the  rage  of  Achilles  with  real  titles  set  out  in  the  bibliographic  style  suggested  above:    Adkins,  A.  (1997)  ‘Homeric  Ethics’  in  Morris,  I.  and  Powell,  B.  (eds.)  A  New  

Companion  to  Homer.  Leiden,  694-­‐714.  

De  Lia,  D.  (2004)  ‘The  Achilles  Complex:  Preoedipal  Trauma,  Rage,  and  

Repetition,’  Psychoanalytic  Review  91,  179-­‐99.  

Detienne,  M.  and  Vernant,  J.-­‐P.  (1991)  Cunning  Intelligence  in  Greek  Culture  and  

Society,  transl.  J.  Lloyd.  Chicago.  (French  orig.  1974)  

Fowler,  R.  (ed.)  (2004)  The  Cambridge  Companion  to  Homer.  Cambridge.  

King,  K.  C.  (1987)  Achilles:  Paradigms  of  the  War  Hero  from  Homer  to  the  Middle  

Ages.  Berkeley.  

Morris,  I.  and  Powell,  B.  (eds.)  (1997)  A  New  Companion  to  Homer.  Leiden.  

37    

Muellner,  L.  C.  (1996)  The  Anger  of  Achilles:  Mēnis  in  Greek  Epic.  Ithaca.  

Scully,  S.  (2003)  ‘Reading  the  Shield  of  Achilles:  Terror,  Anger,  Delight,’  Harvard  

Studies  in  Classical  Philology  101,  29-­‐47.  

Tsagarakis,  O.  (1971)  ‘The  Achaean  Embassy  and  the  Wrath  of  Achilles,’  Hermes  

99,  257-­‐277.  

Zanker,  G.  (1996)  The  Heart  of  Achilles:  Characterization  and  Personal  Ethics  in  

the  Iliad.  Michigan.  

   

 

 

 

     

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8   Five  Dos  and  Five  Don'ts    The  following  list  sums  up  some  of  the  major  points  of  the  previous  chapters.  It  is  meant  to  remind  you  of  the  basics  which  may  easily  be  forgotten  once  you  get  into  the  nitty  gritty  of  an  actual  essay.  This   list  highlights  a  number  of   features  every  successful  essay  needs  to  show.  It  also  warns  you  against  some  of  the  most  common   problems   in   essay   writing,   drawn   up   from   actual   essays.   Consider  copying   the   list   and   keeping   it   handy   or   putting   it   on   the   wall   by   your   work  space.      

Do    

1. Take  a  stance.  Argue.  Engage.  2. Disentangle  your  points.  What  needs  to  be  said  first?  What  follows  from  

it?    Make  your  argument  flow.  Structure,  structure,  structure!  3. Start  and  end  with  a  strong  and  interesting  point.    4. Offer  evidence  for  your  claims.  A  good  essay  combines  a  general  

argument  with  tangible  examples.  At  the  same  time,  place  your  argument  within  existing  scholarly  debates.    

5. Use  formal  rather  than  colloquial  language.  Use  simple  words  rather  than  overly  technical  language  and  jargon  which  does  not  make  you  sound  more  scholarly,  but  does  make  reading  your  essay  less  enjoyable  (see  Part  I:  Chapter  10  for  more  on  style)    

   

Don’t    

1. Just  describe  or  give  an  overview  of  your  topic.  You  must  make  your  case.  2. Argue  several  points  at  once.  Only  one  general  thesis  (claim)  per  essay!  3. Include  irrelevant  material  unrelated  to  what  you  are  arguing,  no  matter  

how  interesting.  4. Merely  summarise  content  from  the  primary  sources.  Tell  your  reader  

what  it  is  about,  and  why  and  how  it  is  important.  Analyse!  5. Over-­‐quote.  Use  an  adequate  number  of  quotes  and  citations  to  

substantiate  your  point,  neither  more  nor  less.        …  and  one  final  absolute:  Don’t  cite  Wikipedia.    It   looks   unprofessional   and   sloppy   and   it   is   not   a   reliable,   scholarly   source   of  information  to  be  used  in  a  piece  of  professional  writing.  Of  course  you  may  use  Wikipedia   to   inform   yourself   about   a   topic,   but   every   bit   of   information   that  actually  goes  into  your  essay  needs  to  be  checked.  It  also  needs  to  be  attributed  to  a  source  with  an  identifiable  author  who  can  be  vetted  for  reliability.    The   same   rule   applies   for  many   other   sources   of   information   available   on   the  internet.   If   you   access   scholarly   articles   electronically   from   internet   platforms  

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such  as  JSTOR,  cite  the  printed  edition.  As  a  general  rule,  do  not  list  long  strings  of  URLs  in  your  bibliography.  It  does  not  look  scholarly.        

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9   Procrastination  and  Writer’s  Block        Procrastination   is  when   anything   and   everything   seems  more   appealing   than  actually   getting   the   job   done   –   doing   the   dishes,   taking   out   the   rubbish,  organising  the  sock  drawer.      Here  is  one  way  to  get  around  –  or  through  –  it:      Set   aside   a   few   hours   on   a   regular   basis   (ideally,   every   workday)   for  uninterrupted   writing.   Switch   off   your   smartphone   and   disable   your  Wi-­‐Fi   to  minimise   the   temptation   to   check  email  or  browse   the   internet.    Better  yet,   go  somewhere  with  no  internet  access.  Research  suggests  that  it  can  take  up  to  30  minutes   to   get   back   into   productive  work   after   an   interruption.   So   it   is  much  more  efficient  to  write  first,  and  reward  yourself  with  some  online  time  later.      Procrastination   often   comes   from   feeling   daunted   at   the   seemingly   huge   task  that   lies   ahead.   Try   to   break   down   that   task   into   small   and   manageable   bits.  Focus  on  one  of  these  bits  at  a  time.      Set   yourself   a   writing   goal   for   the   day   –   a   certain   number   of   words,   or   a  particular   section   of   your   essay.   Make   sure   this   goal   is   realistic.   Focus   on  reaching   it   and   do   not   stop   until   you   have   reached   it.   Once   it   is   done,   reward  yourself  by  doing  something  you  like.    Writer’s  Block.  Everybody  can  get  writer’s  block,  but  it  can  affect  acutely  those  who  care  deeply  about  their  writing  and  for  whom  writing  forms  an  integral  part  of  their  professional  or  personal  life.    If  you  get  to  a  point  when  you  are  simply  unable  to  get  things  done,  do  not  force  it.  Usually  it  helps  to  take  a  brief  break  and  get  back  to  your  essay  a  little  later.  Take   a   short  walk.   It  may   also   help   if   you   clarify,   articulate,   or   rephrase   your  ideas.  Again,  reward  yourself  once  you  are  done.      If  you  are  prone  to  writer’s  block,  start  your  research  project  early  to  be  ahead  of  the  game  and  minimise   the  weight  of  a   looming  deadline.  Curiously,   it  can  also  help   to   do   the   exact   opposite.   Sometimes   writer’s   block   springs   from   giving  yourself  large  tracts  of  time  to  worry  and  wonder  how  best  to  write  a  particular  section.   To   avoid   this,   set   yourself   a   clearly   defined   writing   goal   in   a   limited  amount  of  time.  For  example  you  may  want  to  give  yourself  15  minutes  to  write  a  draft  of  the  introduction.  Then  stop  and  do  something  else  for  a  while.  Return  to  your  writing  a  little  later  and  revise  it.      Remember   that   your   writing   does   not   have   to   be   perfect   (or   even   close   to  perfect)  the  first  time  round.  Sometimes  tentatively  writing  a  first  sentence  helps  subsequent  ideas  to  start  to  flow.      

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10   On  Style    Preliminaries    It   is   a   much-­‐repeated   truism   that   good   writing   follows   no   simple   recipe   or  formula.   Indeed,   there   are   exceptions   to  most   of   the   guidelines   set   out   in   this  book,  and  much  depends  on  your  particular   topic.  Once  you   learn  the  basics  of  good  academic  writing  and  become  a  more  confident  researcher  and  writer,  you  may   want   to   vary   your   prose   to   reflect   the   task   at   hand.   When   you   are   first  starting  out,  be  sure  to  use  a  fairly  formal  register,  and  to  avoid  colloquialisms.    Even  when  you  are  a   seasoned  writer,   it   is   still  worth   thinking   carefully   about  how   best   to   make   your   case   each   time   you   start   a   new   essay.   There   are   two  reasons   for   this:   first,  while   good   (clear,   persuasive   and   engaging)  writing   has  many  faces,  it  is  not  difficult  to  spot  bad  writing.  Second,  an  elegant  writing  style  is  not  merely  an  accessory   to  a  well-­‐argued  essay  –   it   is   the  well-­‐argued  essay.  Writing   is   thinking,   and   it  makes   an   enormous   difference   if   your   essay   is  well  written   and   convincingly   argued.   So   here   are   a   few   suggestions   to   consider   as  you  further  explore  the  power  of  persuasive  prose.    A  first  and  obvious  point  to  make:  keep  your  reader  in  mind  at  all  times.  Pitch  your  essay  to  your  reader  (which  is  not  the  same  as  guessing  what  your  reader  wants  to  hear  and  then  delivering  it).  Just  as  you  modify  what  you  say  and  how  you  say  it  in  a  face-­‐to-­‐face  conversation  depending  on  the  person  you  are  talking  to,  consider  this   in  your  writing:  Are  you  assuming  too  much  prior  knowledge?  Are  you  talking  to  an  expert  or  a  novice?  Are  you  addressing  a  narrow  or  a  wide  audience?  Chances  are  you  are  writing  for  your  professor  or  tutor,  in  which  case  you  can  assume  an   informed  reader.  If  you  are  writing  about  a  text  discussed  in  class,  do  not  summarise  its  content.  The  reader  will  know  it  already.    At   the   same   time,   there   is   another   risk:   too  much   prior   knowledge.   Inevitably  you  will  have  done  a  lot  of  research  on  your  topic  and  you  may  feel  that  you  are  now   unable   to   see   the   forest,   only   trees.   Even   the   informed   reader   will  appreciate   the   presentation   of   your   thoughts   in   logical,   progressive   order   and  not   as   a   random   jumble  of   ideas.  This   is  why   it   is   so   important   to   think   about  how  to  begin,  how  to  argue  your  case,  and  how  to  end  (Part  I:  Chapter  4).      As   you   gain   more   experience   you   may   become   considerably   more   skilled   in  building  and  maintaining  a  relationship  with  your  reader  through  your  writing.  Writing   is  a  wonderful  medium  to   inspire  and  excite,   to  guide  your   readership  towards   a   certain   destination   and   bring   them   to   see   things   from   your  perspective.   Try   to  make   your  writing  work   for   you.  Make   it   one   of   your   best  assets.    

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Words,  Words,  Words    The  most   basic   unit   of   good   and   powerful  writing   is,   of   course,   the   individual  word.  Here  are  some  suggestions  of  what  good  writing  may  look  like  on  the  level  of  words.    Choose   short,   clear   and   simple  words  whenever   possible.   This   rule   is   derived  from   journalism   and   essayistic   writing,   but   I   also   find   it   useful   for   academic  essay  writing,  so  long  as  one  is  happy  to  break  it  if  necessary.  An  unconventional  word   at   the   right  moment   can  work  wonders,   if   used   sparingly.  More   student  essays  suffer  from  using  too  many  complicated  words  than  from  using  too  many  simple  words.  In  fact,  I  have  never  seen  an  essay  suffer  from  too  much  clear  and  simple  prose.    Avoid  the  repetition  of  words  and  phrases,  in  particular  in  the  same  paragraph.  Of   course   this   applies   in   particular   to   words   that   stand   out   from   their  surroundings.      Use  only  words  and  phrases  that  are  fresh.  There  are  few  things  more  deadening  than   images   used  way   too   often   to   be   interesting.   Clichés   render   your  writing  lame  and  tired.      Avoid   filler  words   that   do   not   say   very  much   and  make   you   sound   vague   and  tentative.  These  include:  almost,  apparently,  comparatively,  fairly,  in  part,  mostly,  nearly,   partially,   predominantly,   presumably,   rather,   relatively,   seemingly,   so   to  speak,  somewhat,  sort  of,  to  a  certain  degree,  to  some  extent,  very.    Also   cut  back  on   intensifying  words   that  have   the  opposite   effect  of  what   they  promise  to  do.  Words  such  as  highly,  very,  extremely,  or  enormously  turn  a  strong  and  straightforward  statement  into  one  of  scale.  Something  is  either  attractive  or  it  is  not.  In  saying  that  it  is  highly  attractive  you  actually  make  your  claim  weaker  by  introducing  a  scale  of  attractiveness.  Similarly,  something  is  either  plausible,  or   it   is   not.   By   saying   that   it   is   somewhat   or   extremely   plausible   you   sound  tentative  and  unsure  and  you  undercut  your  argument.    Nouns  and  verbs  are  stronger  than  adjectives  and  adverbs.  Avoid  adjectives  and  adverbs   if   they   are   not   necessary.   Avoid   turning   everything   into   a   noun  (‘nominalisation’).   It   may   seem   impressive,   but   it   is   not.   The   same   applies   to  words  that  end  in  a  suffix.  Avoid  using  strings  of  words  ending  in  ‘–ist’  and  ‘–ive’,  and  over-­‐using  the  passive  voice.    Text  box:    Some  Examples    Nominalisation  ‘The  establishment  of  a  working  hypothesis  was  an  important  first  step  in  my  research.  It  was  followed…’      Instead  say:  ‘Establishing  a  working  hypothesis  was  an  important  first  step…’  

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 Suffixes,  adjectives,  adverbs:  ‘The  socio-­‐linguistic  and  historic  context  betrays  both  the  abnormality  and  brutality  of  impulsive  colonisation  and  the  altruistic  heroism  of  the  utopic  alternative.’    Instead  say:  ….  anything  else!      

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 Sentences:  More  Than  a  String  of  Words?    Words  rarely  stand  by  themselves.  They  are  used  to  form  sentences.  A  powerful  writing   style   is   also   palpable   on   the   level   of   the   sentence.   Here   are   a   few  suggestions  on  how  to  make  your  sentences  more  concise  and  powerful.    A  sentence  is  a  unit  of   thought  and  viewpoint.  Do  not  cram  into  one  sentence  information  and  observations   that  do  not  belong   together   (the  same  applies   to  the   paragraph,   see   below).  Make   sure   every   sentence   flows  naturally   from   the  previous   one   (for   example   by   keeping   the   same   subject   in   pole   position).   And  talking   about   the   subject   of   a   sentence:  most  well  written   sentences   introduce  their  subject  right  at  the  beginning.      Length:  Avoid  sentences  that  are  too  long  and  wordy.  If  in  doubt,  break  it  up  into  several  shorter  ones.  Having  short  and  strong  sentences  is  good,  although  a  text  made  up  entirely  of  such  sentences  will  be  monotonous  and  boring  to  read.  Vary  the  sentence  structure  throughout  your  essay.    Parallel  wording  can  add  rhythm  to  your  writing.  Use  it,  but  use  it  wisely  (read:  sparingly).  Consider  using  a  semicolon  to  separate  parallel  sentences.           An   example:   To   many   scholars,   this   viewpoint   has   been   poorly  articulated;   is  not  demonstrable  with  the  evidence  available  to  us;  and  rests  on  an  anachronistic  premise.    The   first   and   last   word   of   a   sentence   stands   out.   So   if   you   want   to   put   the  emphasis   on   a   particular   word   or   concept,   those   are   the   places   to   put   it  (following  grammatical  rules,  of  course).      You  may  have  been  taught  that  ‘and’  or  ‘but’  should  never  be  used  to  start  a  sentence,  yet  there  are  exceptions  to  this  rule.  If  you  need  to  break  up  a  long  sentence  it  is  permissible  to  use  them  to  indicate  how  the  sentences  belong  together.         An  example:  Scholars  have  argued  that  Homer  uses  the  wrath  of  Achilles  to  demonstrate  the  way  in  which  the  individual’s  removal  from  his  society  affects  all  of  archaic  Greek  class  structure.  But  this  is  not  so.      Do   not   over-­‐use   the   passive   voice.   Reserve   it   for   those   contexts   in  which   it   is  really  warranted  (e.g.  if  you  want  to  focus  on  the  action  itself  rather  than  who  is  doing  the  action).         An  example:  Passive  voice:   ‘It  has  been  argued  by  scholars  that  the   law  has  been  intentionally  misinterpreted  by  corporations.’      Active   voice:   ‘Scholars   have   argued   that   corporations   have   intentionally  misinterpreted  the  law.’    

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A  Note  on  Punctuation    The  prime  aim  of  punctuation   is   to  avoid  ambiguous  (and  funny)  statements  (I  said  eat  grandpa!);   the   second   is   for  ease  of   reading.  Much  beyond   that  will  be  too   excessive   and  actually  hamper   the   flow  of   your  writing   rather   than  help   it  along.  Make  your  writing  livelier  by  using  colons,  dashes  and  the  like,  but  do  not  overdo  it.      Paragraph  Style      Have  you  ever  actually  thought  about  the  role  of  paragraphs?  Probably  not.  Yet  it  is   well   worth   your   attention,   because   the   paragraph   is   arguably   the   most  important   structural   feature   of   your   essay.   Considering   where   to   place   a  paragraph   break   and   how   to   structure   a   particular   paragraph   will   help   the  architecture   of   your   argument.   For   the   basics   of   paragraph   conception   and  structure   go   back   to   Part   I:   Chapter   4.   In   terms   of   style,   here   are   a   few  more  things  to  consider:    Paragraph   breaks   are   important   visual   cues   to  mark   all   sorts   of   divisions   in  your   argument.   Use   them   frequently   and   place   them   well   to   convey   these  divisions   to   your   reader.  Well-­‐placed  paragraph  breaks   also   provide   breathing  room  on  the  page  and  give  your  reader’s  eyes  a  rest.    Let  your  reader  know  what  a  new  paragraph   is  about  as  early  as  possible.  The  first   sentence   (also   referred   to   as   ‘topic   sentence’)   should   do   exactly   that:   tell  your   reader   the   topic   of   the   paragraph   and  how   it   relates   to   the   previous   one  (e.g.   by   using   words   and   phrases   that   bring   out   that   connection   such   as   for  example,  thus,  therefore,  on  the  other  hand,  however,  etc.  All  these  words  highlight  a  certain  kind  of  link  between  what  was  said  and  what  follows).  The  rest  of  the  paragraph  should   then  be  used  to  develop   the  point  and  to  present  supporting  evidence.      Every  paragraph  needs  to  be  directly  related  to  your  overall  argument.  Indeed,  a  paragraph  is  typically  one  step  in  your  argument.  If  your  reader  is  in  doubt  as  to  why  one  paragraph   follows   the  previous,   you  need   to   bring   out   the   coherence  and  structure.  This  may   involve  moving  around  sentences  that  do  not   fit   into  a  particular  paragraph  and/or  changing  the  order  of  your  paragraphs.      You  may  have  been  told  that  a  paragraph  cannot  consist  of  a  single  sentence  and  that   the  minimum  number   of   sentences   of   a   complete   paragraph   is   three.   The  idea  behind  this  is  that,  since  a  paragraph  reflects  a  step  in  your  argument,  this  cannot  be  achieved  in  a  single  sentence  (or  two).  In  principle  this  is  true.  Yet  as  always   in   writing,   there   are   exceptions.   A   single-­‐line   paragraph   can   be   a  powerful  means  to  make  a  strong  statement.      End  of  story.        

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Structure    Your  essay  should  proceed  in  a  way  that  intuitively  makes  sense  to  your  reader.  Try  to  find  the  story  in  any  given  topic  (see  Part  I:  Chapter  5  on  storytelling).  Do  not  merely  work   through   a   list   of   examples.   Opening   lines   of   paragraphs   that  read   like   a   simple   list   (‘another   reason   why   …’)   indicate   that   you   are   just  repeating   the   same   point   over   and   over   again.   Instead,   keep   your   argument  evolving.  Sustain  the  story.  Feed  the  beast.    

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11   Ready  for  Submission?  A  Checklist      

• Has  your  essay  been  proofread?    

• Does  your  essay  have  a  bibliography?    

• Does  your  essay  have  a  title?  

• Have  you  followed  all  other  formal  requirements  set  out  by  your  

instructor  (pertaining  to  word  length,  margins,  font  size,  etc.)?  

• Do  you  have  to  submit  an  abstract  together  with  your  essay?    

• Does  your  essay  need  a  cover  sheet?    

• Is  your  name  clearly  printed  on  each  page  of  your  essay  (in  case  

individual  pages  get  separated)?  Is  your  name  included  on  the  first  page  

of  your  essay  or  the  cover  sheet?    

• Have  you  included  page  numbers  in  the  header  or  footer  of  each  page?  

• Is  the  printed  version  legible  and  does  it  include  all  pages?  

 If  so:  Congratulations!  You  are  ready  to  submit  your  essay.                

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12   Frequently  Asked  Questions    The   following   questions   are   derived   from   years   of   teaching   students   how   to  argue,  persuade  and  write.  They   touch  upon   those  aspects  of   the   research  and  writing  process  that  students  typically  find  most  challenging.  Can  (and  should)  I  refer  to  myself  in  the  first  person?      Yes.   After   all,   YOU   are   speaking   here   about   your   research.   And   you  want   and  deserve  credit   for  the  wonderful   ideas  and  viewpoints  you  put  forward  in  your  essay.  So  it  is  absolutely  fine  to  say  things  like  I  argue…,  I  show…  and  I  maintain…,  etc.  At  the  same  time  avoid  subjective  opinions  like  I  believe…,  I  think…  which  do  not  relate  to  your  argument.  Argumentative  prose  is  not  about  belief  –  hard  facts  are  warranted  here.      You  may  have  learned  not  to  refer  to  yourself  in  the  first  person  in  an  essay  and  that   it   sounds  much  more  professional   and   authoritative   to  use   an   impersonal  writing  style.  Not   so.  To  use   ‘I’   and   ‘me’   is  an  appropriate  way   to  present  your  research;   it   also   signals   that   your   essay   is   part   of   a   conversation   in  which  you  engage  your  reader.  If  in  doubt,  ask  your  instructor  what  he  or  she  thinks.      If  you  do  not  want   to  refer   to  yourself   in   the   first  person,  beware  of  and  avoid  awkward   writing   constructions   that   make   it   blatantly   obvious   that   you   are  skirting   around   the   issue.  Use   the   plural   ‘we’   only  when   reporting   results   of   a  collaborative   research   project   with   someone   else   (this   is   convention   in   the  sciences).   In   the  Arts  and  Humanities  where  most  people  work  on   their  own   it  sounds  odd  (and  regal)  to  refer  to  yourself  as  ‘we’.  It  is  not  an  elegant  solution.  At  the   same   time,   avoid  passive   constructions   such  as   it  has  been  argued  or   it  has  been  shown.  The  critical  reader  will  inevitably  ask,  by  whom?      When  should  I  quote  or  cite?      If  the  wording  of  a  primary  source  or  passage  in  the  secondary  literature  matters  to   your   argument,   you   quote   (that   is,   you   repeat   what   someone   else   said  verbatim  between   quotation  marks,   pointing   your   reader   to   the   source   of   this  quote   in   a   footnote   at   the   end   of   the   sentence).   If   the  wording   of   a   particular  piece   of   information   does   not  matter   to   your   argument,   you   cite   (that   is,   you  describe   or   paraphrase   the   information   in   your   own   words,   without   using  quotation  marks,  and  point  your  reader  to  where  they  can  find  the  information  in  a  footnote  at  the  end  of  the  sentence).      How  often  should  I  quote  or  cite?      As  a  simple  rule:  whenever  and  wherever   it   is  essential   to  your  argument.  You  cite  or  quote  to  back  up  a  claim  you  have  made  with  evidence  (from  the  primary  sources).  You  also  cite  or  quote  if  you  refer  to  information  derived  from  someone  else’s  research  (the  secondary  literature).  In  other  words,  whenever  you  refer  to  a   piece   of   information   you   have   derived   from   a   piece   of   primary   evidence,  provide   some   indication  as   to  where  your   reader   can   follow  up  and  check   this  

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information.  Likewise,  whenever  you  mention  what  another  scholar  has  argued  you  will  need  to  tell  your  reader  (in  a  footnote)  where  this  was  said.        At  the  same  time,  do  not  over-­‐quote.  Lots  of  long  quotes  may  bump  up  your  word  count,   but   your   reader   will   notice.   Too   many   quotes   take   away   from   the  structural   integrity   of   your   essay   and   reduce   the   tightness   of   your   argument.  Quote  only  if  the  wording  of  a  passage  matters  directly  to  your  argument.      Ideally,   quotes   should   ‘sit’   within   your   own   prose.   Do   not   start   or   end   a  paragraph  with  a  quote.  This  overshadows  your  own  voice  which  is,  at  the  end  of  the  day,  the  most  important.  Rather,  build  it  into  the  body  of  a  paragraph  and  tell  your  reader  how  and  why  it  matters,  in  a  way  that  does  not  read  as  mechanical  or   formulaic  (repeatedly  starting  sentences  with   formulations   like  as  this  quote  shows…).  Let  your  interpretation  follow  naturally  from  the  quote.      If   you   work   closely   with   a   given   source,   build   short   bits   of   texts   into   your  argument,  rather  than  including   long  blocks  of  quotes,  comprising  several   lines  of  text.  Quote  long  passages  of  text  only  in  exceptional  circumstances,  e.g.  if  the  integrity  of  a  short  narrative  is  central  to  your  argument.    Should   I   be   worried   about   following   a   particular   referencing   and  bibliographic  style?      If   your   instructor   has   advised   you   to   follow   a   particular   referencing   and  bibliographic  style,  follow  that  style.  If  not,  you  can  choose  a  style  of  your  choice  (see  in  detail  Part  I:  Chapter  6  and  7).  Whatever  style  you  adopt  it  is  important  that  you  follow  it  consistently.  Apply  the  same  rules  throughout  your  essay.      What  can  I  do  if  I  do  not  agree  with  the  grade  on  my  essay?      First  check  your  unit  of  study  guide/syllabus,  which  usually   includes  a  detailed  grade   description   according   to   which   your   essay   has   been   marked.   This   may  even  provide  you  with  invaluable  clues  as  to  what  distinguishes  a  mediocre  from  an  absolutely  wonderful  essay.  For  this  reason,  it  is  also  not  a  bad  idea  to  have  a  look  at  these  before  you  write  your  essay.      Usually  you  will  also  receive  a  brief  comment  underneath  your  essay  outlining  its  strengths   and   weaknesses   and   pointing   you   in   ways   you   can   improve   your  writing.  If  you  still  do  not  understand  why  you  have  received  a  certain  grade,  talk  to   your   instructor.   It   is   absolutely   crucial   to   understand   why   you   received   a  certain  grade  for  you  to  improve  your  writing  over  time.  If  you  still  do  not  agree  with  the  grade,  you  may  ask  for  it  to  be  re-­‐marked.  In  this  case  ask  for  a  second  opinion.    Can  I  plagiarise  by  accident?      Unfortunately,   it   seems   so.   There   is   very   good   evidence   that   some   students  plagiarise  inadvertently.  Plagiarism  –  passing  someone  else’s  work  as  your  own  –    has  become  a  big  problem  for  many  institutions  of  higher  education  which  rely  

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on   research   essays   as   their   main   form   of   assessment.   Most   colleges   and  universities   use   plagiarism   detection   software   which   will   pick   up   on   any  passages   copied   from   a   scholarly   book   or   article.  Nevertheless,  many   students  continue  to  submit  essays  which  do  not  always  adhere  to  referencing  guidelines,  in   part   because   they   are   unsure   about   what   constitutes   plagiarism.   For   a  definition  of  plagiarism  as  well  as  strategies  to  avoid  it,  see  Part  I:  Chapter  5.    Plagiarism  matters  because  original   ideas  are   the  currency  of  universities.  And  universities  make  and  break  careers.  A  critical  part  of  your  university  training  is  how  to  be  original  and  to  articulate  your  ideas  in  the  written  form  of  a  research  essay.      Most,   if   not   all,   university   research  draws  on  other  people’s  work   –   criticising,  extending,  and  refuting   it.  Acknowledging  where  your  work  ends  and  someone  else’s   begins   is   key.   Follow   that   principle   and   you   do   not   run   the   risk   of  plagiarism  by  accident  or  otherwise.  If  in  doubt,  always  ask  your  instructor.    I  have  only  just  started  to  study  this  topic.  How  can  I  possibly  say  anything  even  remotely  original?      Many   new   students   wonder   and   worry   about   this.   Surely   one   needs   to   have  studied  a   field   for  years  before  one  can  possibly   come  up  with   something  new  and   interesting?   The   answer   is   yes   –   and   no.   Of   course   your   knowledge   of   a  certain   research   area   and   field   of   study   will   grow   the   longer   you   work   in   it,  making   it   easier   to  detect   the  direction  of   current  debates   and  what  questions  remain  unanswered  (perhaps  even  unasked).    At  the  same  time,  it  can  help  to  be  a  relative  novice:   less  familiarity  with  past  debates  and  approaches  may  enable  you  to  see  a  new  dimension  to  a  topic.  Further,   the  types  of  questions  asked  of  texts,   issues   and   events   change   all   the   time.   So   it   is   part   of   the   nature   of  scholarship  to  evolve,  along  with  the  people  who  ask  the  questions.    How  much  secondary  literature  is  enough?    Many  students  worry  about  this  question  and  ask  their  instructor  for  the  ‘right’  number  of  titles  to  list  in  the  bibliography.  There  is  no  universal,  one-­‐size-­‐fits-­‐all  answer.  It  depends  on  the  length  of  your  essay,  the  topic  you  are  writing  about  and  the  argument  you  are  making.    In  order  to  get  a  sense  of  how  much  is  enough,  consider  the  following:  

• Use   as  much   secondary   literature   as   needed   to  make   a   compelling   case  and   to   flag   to   your   reader   that   you   have   immersed   yourself   in   the  important  debates  central  to  your  topic.  

• The   number   of   titles   you   are   expected   to   consult   should   also   be  proportionate   to   the   length   of   your   essay.   A   one-­‐page   essay   with   a  bibliography   of   several   pages   is   imbalanced.   At   the   same   time,   a   long  research  essay  with  a  very  short  bibliography  will  look  under-­‐researched.    

• Think  about   the   secondary   literature   in   concentric   circles:   on  any  given  topic   there   will   be   a   few   titles   that   are   absolutely   essential,   titles  reflecting   the  most   important   and   influential   scholarship   in   this   area   to  

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which  everybody  refers.  These  should  be  included  in  every  bibliography,  no  matter  how  long  the  essay.  Then  there  are  a  number  of  titles  that  are  either   less   important,   or   treat   aspects   of   a   topic   that   are   peripheral   to  what  you  address  in  your  essay.  It  would  be  excellent  to  consult  a  few  of  those,  but  a  comprehensive  list  is  not  necessary  in  a  short  research  essay.    

   

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13   Further  Reading        Did  you  really  get  into  the  research  and  writing  process?  Do  you  want  to  take  it  to   the   next   level?   Do   you   wonder   how   to   adjust   your   writing   style   to   be  persuasive  and  compelling  in  other  situations  and  genres?    If  so,  here  are  a  few  useful  titles:    Morley  Warner,  T.  (2010)  Academic  Writing  Is…  Broadway  (revised  ed.).    

This   sister   publication   to   this   volume,   published   by   Sydney   University  Press  offers  a  comprehensive  introduction  to  different  kinds  of  academic  writing.    

 Chin,  P.  et.  al.  (2012)  Academic  Writing  Skills.  Cambridge,  (3  vols.).  

These  three  volumes  offer  a  more  detailed  introduction  to  the  principles    and  practices   of   different   kinds   of   academic  writing   touching  upon  many  points  also  discussed  in  this  book.  These  will  be  useful  to  take  your  writing  to  the  next  level.  

 Savage,  A.  (2012)  Effective  Academic  Writing.  Oxford.    

This  is  again  an  introduction  to  different  kinds  of  academic  writing  but  in  a    more  succinct  form  than  the  three  volumes  by  Chin  et.  al  (see  above).  

 Turabin,  K.  L.  (2010)  Student’s  Guide  to  Writing  College  Papers.  Chicago.    

This  volume  offers  a  comprehensive  guide  to  writing  a  research  essay    Specifically  targeted  at  American  college  students,  but  also  applying  to    other  academic  contexts.  A  useful  book  to  consult  if  you  want  to  read  about    many  of  the  points  made  in  this  present  volume  in  more  detail.      

Turabin,   K.   L.   (2010)   A   Manual   for   Writers   of   Research   Papers,   Theses,   and  Dissertations.  8th  ed.  Chicago.    

This  book  includes  a  comprehensive,  succinct  and  accessible  guide  to    different  kinds  of  writing  in  higher  education,  from  the  small  term  paper  to      dissertation-­‐length  projects.      

 Bailey,   Stephen   (2015)   Academic   Writing:   An   International   Handbook   for  Students.  New  York  (4th  edition).    

This  book  contains  useful  exercises  targeted  in  particular  at  students  who    are  new  to  the  kinds  of  academic  writing  practiced  at  institutions  of  higher    education  throughout  the  Anglo-­‐Saxon  world.  

 Germano,  W.  (2008)  Getting  it  Published.  Chicago.  

This  book  offers  useful  advice  to  more  advanced  students  at  the  beginning  of  their  publishing  careers.    

Marius,  R.  (2012)  A  Short  Guide  to  Writing  About  History.  Boston.    This  book  is  directed  specifically  at  historians  in  training  but  contains  lots  of  useful  information  for  other  students  of  the  Arts  and  Humanities.    

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 Pinker,  S.  (1014)  The  Sense  of  Style:  The  Thinking  Person’s  Guide  To  Writing  in  the  21st  Century.  New  York.  

This  book  gives  an  elegant  account  of  professional  writing  beyond  the    university  context.  

           

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Conclusion      Part   I  of   this  book  served  to   introduce  the  principles  and  practices  of  writing  a  research   essay.   To   this   end,   it   set   out   the   key   steps   you  will   need   to   follow   to  complete  a  research  project:   from  deriving  a  question,  thinking  about  structure  and  researching  the  topic  through  to  actually  writing  the  essay  as  well  as  editing  and  proofreading.    By   now,   the   challenge   of   writing   a   research   essay   should   have   become   less  daunting.  Perhaps  you  even  enjoyed  the  experience!  As  with  most  skills,  you  will  get   better   at   essay   writing   with   practice.   Write   frequently.     Write   fearlessly.    Write   with   generosity   of   spirit.   Read   through   the   comments   on   your   written  assignments.  If  you  cannot  revise  and  resubmit  a  particular  essay,  implement  the  suggestions  in  your  next  one.  Improving  your  writing  is  a  life-­‐long  endeavour  in  which  the  journey  really  is  the  final  destination.    As  you  become  a  more  accomplished  essay  writer  you  may  want  to  experiment  with   different   essay   layouts   and  writing   styles.   Even   though  most   of   the   time  good   (and   bad)   writing   is   clearly   obvious,   there   is   considerable   variety   in  powerful  and  successful  academic  prose.  Keep  improving  your  writing  and  make  it   one  of   your   core   assets.   It   is   likely  one  of   the  most   important   skills   you  will  learn  at  university  and  it  will  serve  you  through  your  academic  and  professional  life.      The  exercises  and  examples  included  in  Part  II  of  this  book  will  help  you  to  practice  the  individual  steps  set  out  in  part  I.          

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Part  II  

Exercises  and  Examples  

   

Part  I  of  this  book  gave  you  a  concise  introduction  to  the  principles  and  practices  of  essay  writing.  Yet  good  writing  is  hardly  a  matter  of  theory.  Even  if  you  know  the  features  of  a  strong  and  persuasive  essay,  your  writing  will  only   improve  if  you  can  apply  them  in  practice.    Part  II  prompts  you  to  revisit  some  of  the  major  points  and  to  practice  them.  It  includes  a  number  of  exercises   focused  on   the  major  steps  of   the  research  and  writing   process.   For   all   topics   there   are   two   kinds   of   exercises:   The   first   type  (‘individual  study’)  can  be  used  to  study  on  your  own.  The  second  type  (‘group  study’)  is  open-­‐ended  and  suitable  for  group  discussion  or  for  joint  study  with  a  writing  buddy.  Each  section  matches  up  with  the  material  presented  in  Part  I  so  if  you  have  any  doubts  as  you  progress,  turn  back  to  the  advice  presented  earlier.        

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 1   Finding  and  Developing  a  Research  Question  

   

These  exercises  allow  you  to  practice  how  to  find  a  research  question  and  how  to  distinguish  between  good  essay  questions  and  essay  questions  that  are  unlikely  to  yield  a  strong  and  persuasive  argument.      For  more  instructions  on  finding  a  research  question  see  Step  1  in  Part  I:  Chapter  3.      Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1.  Have  a  look  at  a  current  volume  of  a  leading  journal  in  your  area  and  pick  an  article  that  looks  interesting.  What  is  the  research  question  driving  the  argument  in  the  article?  If  there  is  more  than  one,  try  to  reduce  them  further  by  finding  one  that  covers  them  all.      Now  consider  how  clearly  this  research  question  is  articulated  in  the  article.  Is  it  clearly  set  out  in  the  introduction?  Or  can  it  be  derived  indirectly  only  from  the  way  the  argument  evolves?  What  effort  does  the  author  make  to  address  the  ‘so  what?’  question  in  the  introduction?      1.2.  Let’s  assume  the  general  topic  you  are  asked  to  write  about   is   ‘Happiness’.  Pause  for  a  moment  and  think  about  how  you  could  turn  this  topic  into  an  essay  question.  Write  down  different  questions  that  come  to  mind.  Write  down  at  least  5  such  questions.      Now  ask  the   ‘so  what?’   for  each  of   the  questions  you  found.  What   is   interesting  about   this  question?  Why   is   it  worth  asking?  Why  should  we  care   to  know  the  answer?  Take  a  few  notes  of  possible  answers  on  a  separate  sheet  of  paper.    Finally,   take   a   third   sheet   of   paper   and   rank   your   questions   according   to   how  well   they  are  able   to   respond   to   the   ‘so  what?’  question.  Which  question   is   the  most  promising  and  interesting  one?  Which  one  is  the  last?  Compare  your  three  lists  with  each  other.      Exercise  2  (group  study)    2.1.  Start  with  exercise  1.2.  above.  Once  you  are  done,  swap  the  unranked  list  of  essay   questions   with   your   writing   buddy   or   another   member   of   your   writing  group.   Let   them   ask   the   ‘so  what’   question   for   the   questions   you   set   and   rank  them  based  on  their  answers.  Meanwhile,  do  the  same  with  your  buddy’s  list  of  questions.      Compare   the  results.  Do  your  ranked   lists  agree?  Why  or  why  not?  Discuss   the  results.        

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2   Deriving  a  Structure      These  exercises  sharpen  your  sense  of  planning  and  structure  as  a  key  aspect  of  a  successful  essay.    For  more  on  structuring  your  essay  see  Step  3  in  Part  I:  Chapter  3.    Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1.  Look  at  a  chapter  of  an  academic  book  or  an  article  that  you  enjoyed  reading  in   the   past.   Alternatively,   you   can   also   pick   one   of   the   three   sample   essays  included   at   the   end   of   this   book.   Try   to  work   out   its   structure.   How   does   the  author   start?   How   does   he   or   she   sustain   the   reader’s   interest?   What   point  comes  first  and  which  one  comes  last?  Take  a  piece  of  paper  and  write  out  a  brief  structure/table  of  contents  of  the  article  or  chapter  using  keywords  only.      Does   the   structure   make   sense?   Does   it   tell   a   ‘story’   of   some   kind?   Can   you  suggest  a  better  one?  If  so,  what?  Why  is  it  better?    Exercise  2  (group  study)    2.1.  The  same  exercise  as  above.  Discuss  the  points  with  your  writing  buddy  or  writing  group  after  you  have  all  studied  the  same  book  chapter  or  article.      2.2.  Take  an  essay  you  have  written  in  the  past  and  break  down  its  structure  into  a   table   of   contents   using   keywords   only.   Now   swap   the   essay   with   a   writing  buddy  or  another  member  of  your  writing  group.  Make  them  derive  a  structure  for  your  essay  and  provide  such  a  structure  yourself  from  your  buddy’s  essay.  Do  you  think  the  structure  is  effective?  Does  it  intuitively  make  sense?  Why  or  why  not?      Now   look   at   both   structures   of   the   same   essay   together.   Do   they   agree   or  disagree   with   each   other?   If   you   felt   that   the   structure   of   your   buddy’s   essay  could  be  improved  discuss  this  with  him  or  her.      

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3     The  Introduction    

 These  exercises  shape  your  awareness  of  what  makes  a  concise  introduction  that  

starts  from  a  general  topic,  sets  up  a  question  as  relevant,  and  ends  with  a  strong  

thesis  statement  anticipating  what  the  essay  is  going  to  argue.  

 

See  also  Part  I:  Chapter  4  on  writing  a  successful  introduction.  

   Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1. First,   let’s  revisit  the  recommendations  for  good  introductions  set  out   in  

Part  I,  Chapter  4:    

   Now,  read  through  the  introduction  below  and  ask  yourself  how  successful  it  is  in  following  the  recommendations  for  good  introductions.    Introduction    

The   WikiLeaks   phenomenon   has   been   unprecedented   in   all   of   modern  history.   The   organization   itself   has   perplexed   punters   and   policy-­‐makers  due   to   their   inability   to   categorize   it   as  media   organization,   NGO,   or   spy  organization.   As   such,   it   has   posed   radical   new   risks   to   the   security   and  governmentality   apparatuses   of   the   modern   state.   It   is   also   the   most  accessible  and  manifest  display  of  the  inner  workings  of  diplomatic  power  to  any  layman.  Such  a  massive  phenomenon  has  been  mainly  instigated  by  a  core  group  of  no  more  than  a  dozen  hackers,  lawyers,  activists,  and  self-­‐

Text  box:    Introduction  –  A  Checklist  

The  following  are  crucial  for  a  good  introduction:  

! Identify  the  subject  area  of  the  essay  topic  

! Set  up  the  question  relating  to  this  area  

! Make  a  case  for  why  your  question  is  relevant  

! State  your  thesis  clearly  

Less  critical,  but  still  relevant  to  many  essay  introductions  are  the  

following:  

! How  you  will  demonstrate  your  thesis  

! How  your  thesis  fits  within  broader  scholarship  on  the  topic  

! Any  omissions  or  definitions,  if  necessary  

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proclaimed   ‘techno-­‐anarchists’  who  collectively  bear  no  concrete  purpose  for  their  actions.  It  is  still  unfolding,  and  indeed,  a  complete  ex  post  facto,  or  post  mortem,  is  impossible  given  that  the  full  extent  of  the  cables  are  yet  to  be   leaked,   it   is   unclear   how   much   material   remains   dormant   and  unannounced   by   the   organization,   and   to  what   extent   its   work  might   be  perpetuated   by   spin-­‐off   organizations.   However,   much   speculation   and  discussion  about  WikiLeaks  has  taken  place  within  the  blogosphere,  further  entrenching   the   phenomenon   within   the   cyberworld   itself   and   within  discourses  of  interdependence  and  privacy.  One  of  the  concepts  mentioned  in  relation  to  WikiLeaks   is   that  of   ‘risk  society’.   In  this  essay  I  will  explain  how   WikiLeaks   fits   almost   perfectly   into   the   model   that   Beck  conceptualized   to   understand   late   modernity4  Furthermore,   the   central  problematic  of   this  essay  will  be  whether  WikiLeaks,  as  an   institution  and  as   a   set   of   strategies,   can   be   conceived   as   ‘radical’,   both   in   the   political  sense  and  in  Beck’s  sense  of  ‘radical  modernization’.  

 Commentary    This  introduction  has  all  the  necessary  parts  of  a  strong  introduction:  it  makes  a  case   for   the   relevance   of   the   topic,   touches   upon   recent   debates,   formulates   a  research  question  and  makes  a  claim  (thesis).    Ways  to  improve  it  emerge  in  the  detail  and  from  the  way  in  which  these  parts  are  put  together.      This   applies   in   particular   to   the   research   question   and   thesis   statement   at   the  end   of   the   introduction.     As   it   stands   the   introduction   ends   with   a   thesis  statement   (In   this   essay,   I   will   explain…),   followed   by   a   research   question  (Furthermore,   the   central   problematic   of   this   essay…).   Yet   the   thesis   statement  should  follow  the  research  question.  Indeed,  it  should  suggest  an  answer  to  it.  In  this   introduction,   it   remains   unclear   whether,   and   if   so   how,   the   research  question  and  the  thesis  statement  are  related  to  each  other.        The  same  applies  to  the  other  parts  of  the  introduction.  The  introduction  to  the  topic  should  lead  up  to  a  problem  or  interesting  question  about  the  topic.  In  the  case   of   WikiLeaks,   the   problem   could   be:   how   to   make   sense   of   a   new  phenomenon   that   does   not   fit   into   any   of   the   categories   we   normally   use   to  describe  international  institutions.  This  should  be  followed  by  a  sentence  or  two  on  how  this  problem  has  been  approached  and  discussed  in  existing  scholarship.  The  originality  of  the  approach  to  WikiLeaks  taken  in  this  essay  could  have  been  worked  out  more  by  positioning  the  thesis  in  relationship  to  the  existing  debate.      Other  points  for  improvement:  

• Some  main  concepts  of  the  introduction  would  benefit  from  being  further  developed  or  explained.  This  applies  first  and  foremost  to  the  concept  of  ‘risk   society’   (a   key   term),   but   also   in   a   lesser   sense   to   the   point   on  ‘discourses  on  interdependence’.    

• The   opening   sentence   should   be   cut   as   it   makes   a   sweeping   statement  ‘about  all  of  modern  history’  that  does  not  actually  say  much.  Instead,  the  

                                                                                                               4  Beck,  U.  (1992)  Risk  Society:  Towards  a  New  Modernity.  London.  

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essay  should  start  with  the  next  sentence  which  works  out  why  WikiLeaks  is  a  unique  phenomenon  that  defies  categorization.    

• The   wording   of   particular   sentences   could   have   been   improved.   This  applies   in  particular   to  bulky  phrases   like   ‘security  and  governmentality  apparatuses’,  ‘central  problematic’,  etc.    

• Overall,   the   introduction   could   have   been   ‘uncluttered’   by   removing  everything  that  is  not  essential  to  its  core  purposes  of  introducing  a  topic,  setting  up  a  research  question  and  proposing  a  thesis.      

   1.2.  Revise  and  rework  the  introduction  above  following  the  suggestions  made  in  above.  Once  you  are  done,  compare  it  to  the  version  below.      Revised  Introduction    

The   online   publishing   platform   WikiLeaks   has   perplexed   punters   and  policy-­‐makers   alike.   Is   this   a   media   organization?   A   NGO?   A   spy  organization?     Some   have   praised   it   as   an   important   tool   to   achieve  accountability,  transparency  and  balance  of  power;  others  have  seen  it  as  a  risk  to  the  security  and  government  of  the  modern  state.  However  that  may  be,   it   is   obvious   that  WikiLeaks   has   provided   the   general   public  with   the  most   widely   accessible   and   manifest   insights   into   the   inner   workings   of  diplomatic  power.  This  dominant  public  profile  is  all  the  more  astonishing,  given  that  WikiLeaks  is  probably  operated  by  a  core  group  of  no  more  than  a  dozen  hackers,  lawyers,  activists,  and  self-­‐proclaimed  ‘techno-­‐anarchists’  who  collectively  bear  no  concrete  purpose  for  their  actions.    So   how   to   make   sense   of   such   a   multi-­‐facetted   phenomenon   that   defies  categorization?  Of   course   there   is  no  easy  and   straightforward  answer   to  this  question,  in  particular  as  the  last  chapter  in  the  history  of  WikiLeaks  is  yet   to   be  written.   To   date   it   is   still   unclear   how  much  more   unpublished  material   the   organization   holds,   and   to   what   extent   its   work   might   be  perpetuated  by  spin-­‐off  organisations.      One   of   the   concepts   frequently   invoked   in   scholarly   discussions   of  WikiLeaks  is  that  of  ‘risk  society’.  The  term  ‘risk  society’  was  first  coined  by  Ulrich  Beck,  who  used  it  to  describe…    This   essay   explores   the   question   of   what   the   concept   of   risk   society   can  contribute  to  our  understanding  of  Wikileaks.  More  specifically,  I  argue  that  Wikileaks  can  serve  as  a  prime  symptom  of  what  Beck  has  coined   ‘radical  modernization’.  

 1.3  Read   through   the   introduction  below.  How  successful   is   it   in   following   the  recommendations  for  good  introductions  outlined  in  the  checklist  above?    Artemis  and  Apollo:  It  is  Complicated    Introduction  

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The  twins,  Artemis  and  Apollo  appear  to  be  very  similar,  they  are  twins  and  both   represent   the   prime   of   youth   for   their   gender,   but   do   they   differ   in  behaviour  and  belief?  How  do  these  differences  manifest  themselves  within  ancient  Greek  myth?  How  also  do  social  constructions  of  gender  play  a  role  within  the  worship  of  the  twin  deities?  Do  the  social  constructions  impact  the  kind  of  votives  offered   to  each  deity  and  do   they  more  greatly   reflect  the  myth  or   the   social   constructs?    This  essay  will,   through  myth,   look  at  the  relationship  that  Artemis  and  Apollo  share  and  also  their  opinion  of  sex,  their  major  point  of  difference.  To  discuss  social  constructs  Aristotle’s  work  will  be  examined,  and  the  votives  offered  to  each  deity  will  be  discussed  to  show  how,  through  the  votives,  the  intent  of  the  person  offering  the  votive  can  be  determined.  Do  Artemis  and  Apollo,  as  sister  and  brother,  illustrate  the   differences   between   women   and   men,   and   the   major   concerns   of  women  and  men  within  Greek  society?  

 

Commentary  

This  introduction  does  introduce  a  question  (or  better:  several),  but  fails  to  make  a  sufficient  case  for  its  relevance.  Subsequently  it  is  a  little  all  over  the  place  and  as  a  result  does  not  set  up  a  compelling  argument.  There  is  no  thesis  statement  at  the  end.    

Here  is  a  line-­‐by-­‐line  critique  of  this  introduction:  

The  twins,  Artemis  and  Apollo  appear   to  be  very  similar,   they  are   twins  and  both  

represent  the  prime  of  youth  for  their  gender,  but  do  they  differ  in  behaviour  and  

belief?    Comment:  There  are  too  many  thoughts  in  this  sentence.  It  needs  to  be  

broken   up   into   several   sentences   and   clarified.   It   also   remains   unclear   why  

behaviour   and   belief   are   singled   out   as   aspects   in   which   differences   between  

them  may  emerge.    

 

How  do  these  differences  manifest  themselves  within  ancient  Greek  myth?  How  also  

do  social  constructions  of  gender  play  a  role  within  the  worship  of  the  twin  deities?  

Do  the  social  constructions  impact  the  kind  of  votives  offered  to  each  deity  and  do  

they  more  greatly  reflect  the  myth  or  the  social  constructs?    Comment:  Why   the  

sudden  focus  on  gender?  It  also  remains  unclear  how  votive  offerings  suddenly  

came  into  the  picture.  

 

This   essay   will,   through   myth,   look   at   the   relationship   that   Artemis   and   Apollo  

share   and   also   their   opinion   of   sex,   their   major   point   of   difference.   Comment:  

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Tentative  and  complicated  wording.  Odd  phrasing.  Also:  One  does  not   ‘share’  a  

relationship,  one  has  one.  Moreover:  unclear  what  is  meant  with  ‘opinion  of  sex’.  

 

To   discuss   social   constructs   Aristotle’s   work   will   be   examined,   and   the   votives  

offered  to  each  deity  will  be  discussed  to  show  how,  through  the  votives,  the  intent  

of   the   person   offering   the   votive   can   be   determined.   Comment:   It   is   largely  

unclear   what   ‘social   constructs’   the   author   refers   to   and   how   votive   offerings  

relate   to   it.     Also:   Avoid   passive,   impersonal   constructions   like   ‘will   be  

examined…’  ‘can  be  determined…’  ‘will  be  discussed…’  ‘by  whom?  To  what  end?    

Also:  avoid  repetition  of  words  and  phrases  :  ‘to  discuss…  will  be  discussed…’  

   

Do   Artemis   and   Apollo,   as   sister   and   brother,   illustrate   the   differences   between  

women  and  men,  and  the  major  concerns  of  women  and  men  within  Greek  society?  

Comment:   This   introduction   ends   with   a   question   rather   than   a   thesis  

statement.  Remember  that  the  point  of  an  essay  is  to  put  forward  your  answer  to  

a  question.  

 1.4.   Rewrite   the   same   introduction   following   the   recommendation   in   the  commentary.          Artemis  and  Apollo:  It  is  Complicated    Rewritten  Version    

According  to  Greek  mythology,  Artemis  and  Apollo  are  twins,  the  children  of  Zeus  and  Leto.  Even  more  so  than  siblings,  twins  encourage  comparison.  The   similarities   between   Artemis   and   Apollo   are   immediately   apparent:  both   are   at   the   prime   of   their   youth;   both   belong   to   the   group   of   the  ‘Olympian  gods’;  both  count  amongst   the  most   influential  divinities  of   the  Greek   pantheon.   This   essay   explores   the   question   of   how   they   were  thought   to   differ   from   each   other   and   to  what   end.    What   are   the  major  differences   between   them?   How   do   they   manifest   themselves   in   ancient  Greek  myth?  Overall,  I  argue  that  Artemis  and  Apollo,  as  sister  and  brother,  illustrate   and   reflect   the   differences   between   women   and   men   in   Greek  society  beyond  the  realm  of  mythology.  

     Exercise  2  (writing  buddy/group  study)  

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2.1.   Take  an  existing   introduction  you  already  have  already  written  or  write   a  new   one   on   a   topic   of   your   choice.   Swap   it   with   a   writing   buddy   and   edit   it  according  to  the  rules  for  good  introductions  set  out  in  Part  I:  Chapter  4.  Discuss  ways  in  which  each  introduction  could  be  improved.      2.2.   Use   a   research   question   you   have   been   given   for   another   assignment   but  that  you  did  not  actually  write  about.  Think  about  how  you  would  answer  the  so  what?  question.  What  is  interesting  about  it?  Why  is  it  worth  asking?  Why  should  we  care  to  know  the  answer?  Note  down  a   few  possible  answers.  Write  a  brief  introduction   to   your   essay   and  build   these   answers   into   it.     Swap   it  with   your  writing  buddy  or  another  member  of  your  writin  group  and  discuss  it.    

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4   The  Thesis  Statement    

 These  exercises  sharpen  your  understanding  for  what  makes  a  strong  thesis  statement  as  well  as  for  the  problems  that  frequently  emerge  in  this  context.  They  also  further  develop  your  sense  of  how  thesis  statements  relate  to  the  introduction  as  a  whole.      For  more  on  developing  a  thesis  statement,  see  Part  I:  Chapter  4.      Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1.  Have   a   look   at   the   sample   introductions   below.   Consider   in   particular   the  thesis  statements  at  the  end  of  them.    One  introduction  ends  with  a  weak  thesis  statement  that  needs  to  be  developed  to  become  strong  and  interesting.  One  has  no  thesis  statement.  One  ends  with  several  thesis  statements.  Can  you  tell  which  one  is  which?    Example  1.      

The   Greeks   knew   their   gods   were   a   capricious   band,   at   one   moment  showering   fortune   and   good   luck   on   their   favourites,   the   next   vengeful,  brutal   and   unforgiving.   They   understood   the   razor-­‐sharp   line   that  separated  triumph  from  tragedy,  and   just  how  easily  that  boundary  could  be  crossed  should  divine  favour  be  lost.  If  the  gods  were  revered,  they  were  also   to  be   feared.  Under   these   circumstances,  what  mortal  would  dare   to  laugh  in  the  face  of  those  who  held  fate  in  their  hands?    Yet  that  is  what  the  Greeks  did.  From  hen-­‐pecked  Zeus  to  cross-­‐dressing  Heracles,  laughter  was  woven   into   the   very   fabric   of   religious   doctrine.   Just   as   religion   was  embedded   in   Greek   society,   so   humour  was   embedded   in   Greek   religion.  Given   the   dangerous   potential   for   inviting   the   gods’   wrath,   this   essay  explores  what  role  humour  –  and  the  laughter  that  resulted  from  it  –  played  in   ancient   Greek   religion.   I   argue   that   humour  was   at   once   inclusive   and  exclusive,  serving  to  unite  men  with  the  gods  as  well  as  with  one  another  while   also,   paradoxically,   setting   the   deities   apart.   I   will   also   show   how  humour  acted  to  relieve  fears  of  the  supernatural,  in  particular  with  regard  to  their  almighty  power.      

 Example  2.    

Religion   has   often   been   considered   as   a   vehicle   through   which   humans  have  attempted  to  create  meaning  in  life  through  imagining  a  connection  to  a   supernatural   being.   The   tradition   of   writing   and   reciting   hymns,   a  religious   song   or   poem,   has   remained   a   constant   feature   of   religious  practice.  It  has  acted  as  a  means  of  communication  between  the  human  and  the  divine  both  on  a  public  and  personal  scale.  In  order  to  understand  this  human/divine  bond  and  what  it  means  to  the  adherent,  this  essay  analyses  

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ancient  Greek  hymns  and   compares   them   to   those   from   the  ancient  Near  East.  This  essay  suggests  that  hymns  played  an  important  role  in  bridging  the  divide  between  the  divine  and  mortal.      

 Example  3    

Whilst   the   public   consultation   of   oracles   on   matters   of   the   polis   was  certainly  a  frequent  and  significant  practice  within  ancient  Greek  religion,  the   importance   of   private   consultations   to   the   individual   religious  experience   cannot  be  understated.   In   this   essay,   I   explore   the  patterns  of  oracle   consultations   at  major   sanctuaries   such   as   the   Oracle   of   Apollo   at  Delphi   and   the   Oracle   of   Zeus   at   Dodona,   in   order   to   contribute   to   the  scholarship   seeking   to   re-­‐emphasise   the   personal   dimension   of   ancient  Greek   religion   amidst   the   importance   of   polis-­‐based   experiences   of  religion.    

 Commentary:  Example  1    This   introduction   has   two   thesis   statements:   The   first   one   states,   I   argue   that  humour  was  at  once  inclusive  and  exclusive,  serving  to  unite  men  with  the  gods  as  well  as  with  one  another  while  also,  paradoxically,  setting  the  deities  apart.  This  is  a  fine  thesis  statement,  strong  and  compelling.  Unfortunately,  it  is  followed  by  a  second   claim:   I   will   also   show   how   humour   acted   to   relieve   fears   of   the  supernatural,   in   particular  with   regard   to   their   almighty   power.   As   there   is   no  obvious  connection  between  the  two  theses  the  second  one  should  be  cut.  If  not,  this  essay  risks  arguing  two,  only  marginally  connected  points.    Commentary:  Example  2      The  thesis  statement  of  this  essay  reads  like  this:  This  essay  suggests  that  hymns  played  an  important  role  in  bridging  the  divide  between  the  divine  and  mortal.   It  would  become  more  powerful  if  the  reader  was  told  upfront  how  hymns  bridge  the   divide   between   gods   and   humans.   Developing   the   thesis   statement   in   this  way  would  make  it  stronger  and  more  compelling.      Commentary:  Example  3    This   introduction   ends   with   a   research   agenda   but   does   not   include   a   thesis  statement.   A   possible   thesis   statement   for   this   essay   could   have   been   derived  from  telling  the  reader  what  oracles  can  reveal  about  the  personal  dimension  of  ancient  Greek  religion.        Exercise  2  (group  study)    Have  a  look  at  the  following  introduction.  Discuss  its  strengths  and  weaknesses  and   suggest   ways   of   improving   it   with   your   writing   buddy   or   in   group  discussion.  Focus  in  particular  on  the  thesis  statement.    

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Social  movements  can  only  emerge  among  groups  already  united  by  a  pre-­‐existing  collective  identity.    There   are   a   great   deal   of   case   studies,   essays,   and   hypotheses   dedicated   to  explaining   the   ideology   behind   'Social  Movements,'   in   which  most   have   common  themes  as  to  'fill  in  that  gap'  in  which  previous  articles  contain.  However,  through  looking   at   a   certain   spectrum   of   these   articles,   there   is   a   noticeable   loop   that  connects   all   these   gaps,   like   that   of   a   ring   of   three   dimensional   puzzle   pieces  perfectly   laid  out,   but  not   yet  put   together.  For   example  when   studying  one   such  essay  of  Mario  Diani,  his  protocol  is  to  assess  the  concept  of  social  movement,  filling  the  gap,  or  lack  of  a  systematic  comparison  among  the  concepts  (Diani  1992).  More  frequently   rising   are   essays   dedicated   to   the   explanation   of   not   just   social  movements,  however  the   inclusion  and  resolution  to  what  collective   identity   is.   In  this   essay   it   is   intended   to   compile   this   information,   analyse   and   construct   a  formative  response  with  empirical  representations.        2.2.   Take   a   sample   introduction   you   have   written   for   another   assignment.  Circulate   it   in   class   or   swap   it  with   your  writing   buddy   for   comment.   Discuss  both  introductions  in  terms  of  what  is  strong,  and  what  could  be  improved.        

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5   The  Paragraph        

These  exercises  sharpen  your  awareness  of   the  building  blocks   that  make  up  a  successful   essay.   They   make   you   think   about   the   structure   of   an   individual  paragraph  as  well  as  the  way  in  which  several  paragraphs  build  on  each  other.    Turn  back  to  Part  I:  Chapter  10  for  more  hints  on  paragraph  and  style.      Exercise  1  (individual  study)  1.1.  Have  a  look  at  the  paragraph  below  derived  from  an  undergraduate  essay  on  the  question  ‘What  were  the  different  functions  of  “prophetic”  dreams  in  ancient  Greek  society?’  What  is  this  paragraph  about?  How  (early)  do  we  know?  What  is  the  internal  structure  of  the  paragraph?  Does  it  work  as  a  unit  of  thought?  Could  it  have  been  broken  up  even  further?  If  so,  how?    

Dream  divination  was  an   inherently  personal  religious  experience.  For  an  individual,  to  believe  that  a  dream  was  a  divinely-­‐sent  phenomenon  was  to  believe   that   the  divine  sphere  was  communicating  with   them  individually  and  specifically.  To  think  one’s  dreams  were  supernatural  in  nature  would  have   also   served   to   reinforce   one’s   own   belief   in   the   divine.   Dream  interpretation   dealt   with   personal   issues,   or   provided   prophecies   that  would  be  relevant  specifically  to  the  person  to  whom  they  manifested.  For  example,  if  someone  dreamt  that  they  had  lost  a  ring,  it  usually  meant  that  they  themselves  were  soon  likely  to  lose  an  eye,  due  to  their  similarities  in  shape   and   ‘radiance’,   according   to   the   Oneirocritica.   Though   such  interpretations  of  different  in-­‐dream  symbols  and  their  meanings  provided  by  dream  interpreters,  or  oneiromancers,  were  universally  applicable,  they  were   often   personalized   around   specific   details,   such   as   the   age,  occupation,   marriage   status,   health,   and   social   standing   of   the   enquirer.  Artemidorus  writes  that  it  is  a  good  omen  for  a  priest  to  dream  of  wearing  white  garments,  but  for  a  sick  person,  to  wear  white  garments  in  a  dream  meant   that   their   death   was   impending.   The   meaning   of   dreams   also  differed   greatly   depending   on   the   gender   of   the   dreamer.   An   individual  could   even   attempt   to   interpret   the   divine   nature   of   their   own   dream,  though  as  with  oracles,  it  likely  would  have  been  viewed  as  more  prudent  to  confer  with  a  professional  in  the  matter.  Dreams  were  viewed  as  mostly  epiphanic   in  nature,   though,   in  a  process  known  as   incubation,  one   could  attempt   to   induce   a   divinely-­‐sent   dream   that   would   provide   them   with  guidance   on   a   particular   matter,   much   in   the   same  way   as   enquiring   an  oracle.  Oneiromancy  was  an   important   aspect  of  Greek   religious  practice,  as  it  allowed  the  divine  to  intersect  with  the  mundane,  and  illustrates  that  Greek  religion  was  personal,  arguably  more  so  than  it  was  communal.  

 Commentary  This  paragraphs  opens  with  a   strong   ‘subject   sentence’   telling   the   reader  what  this   paragraph   will   focus   on:   Dream   divination   …as   a   personal   religious  experience.   The   next   few   sentences   spell   out   how   this   is   the   case   (For   an  

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individual…to   whom   they   manifested.).   An   example   from   Artemidorus  Oneirocritical   illustrates   this   point   (For   example,…).   The   reminder   of   the  paragraph  (starting  from:  The  meaning  of  dreams  also  differed  greatly…  mentions  special   aspects   in   which   prophetic   dreams   provided   information   specific   to   a  particular   individual.   The   last   sentence   (Oneiromancy   was   an…)   sums   up   the  major  theme  of  the  paragraph.      With   regard   to   further   paragraph   breaks:   Every   unit   of   thought   potentially  warrants   its  own  paragraph.  So  this  paragraph  could  have  been  further  broken  up   in   any   combination   of   the   following   paragraphs   (I   have   included   subject  headings  for  clarification  of  the  unity  of  the  new  paragraphs):    Prophetic  dreams  as  a  personal  encounter  of  the  supernatural  Dream   divination   was   an   inherently   personal   religious   experience.   For   an  individual,   to   believe   that   a   dream   was   a   divinely-­‐sent   phenomenon   was   to  believe   that   the   divine   sphere  was   communicating  with   them   individually   and  specifically.  To  think  one’s  dreams  were  supernatural  in  nature  would  have  also  served   to   reinforce   one’s   own   belief   in   the   divine.   Dream   interpretation   dealt  with  personal  issues,  or  provided  prophecies  that  would  be  relevant  specifically  to  the  person  to  whom  they  manifested.      The  example  of  Artemidirus’  Oneirocritica  For  example,   if  someone  dreamt  that  they  had   lost  a  ring,   it  usually  meant  that  they  themselves  were  soon  likely  to  lose  an  eye,  due  to  their  similarities  in  shape  and   ‘radiance’,   according   to   the   Oneirocritica.   Though   such   interpretations   of  different  in-­‐dream  symbols  and  their  meanings  provided  by  dream  interpreters,  or   oneiromancers,   were   universally   applicable,   they   were   often   personalized  around  specific  details,  such  as  the  age,  occupation,  marriage  status,  health,  and  social  standing  of  the  enquirer.  Artemidorus  writes  that   it   is  a  good  omen  for  a  priest  to  dream  of  wearing  white  garments,  but  for  a  sick  person,  to  wear  white  garments  in  a  dream  meant  that  their  death  was  impending.      Other  ways  in  which  prophetic  dreams  are  personal    The  meaning   of   dreams   also   differed   greatly   depending   on   the   gender   of   the  dreamer.  An  individual  could  even  attempt  to  interpret  the  divine  nature  of  their  own  dream,   though   as  with   oracles,   it   likely  would  have  been   viewed   as  more  prudent   to   confer   with   a   professional   in   the   matter.   Dreams   were   viewed   as  mostly  epiphanic  in  nature,  though,  in  a  process  known  as  incubation,  one  could  attempt  to  induce  a  divinely-­‐sent  dream  that  would  provide  them  with  guidance  on   a   particular   matter,   much   in   the   same   way   as   enquiring   an   oracle.  Oneiromancy  was  an  important  aspect  of  Greek  religious  practice,  as  it  allowed  the  divine  to  intersect  with  the  mundane,  and  illustrates  that  Greek  religion  was  personal,  arguably  more  so  than  it  was  communal.    Commentary:    The   last  paragraph  would  be   further   strengthened  by   turning   the  opening   line  into   a   proper   subject   sentence   for   this   paragraph.   E.g.  The  meaning  of   dreams  also   different   greatly   in   other,   highly   personal   ways.   According   to   gender   for  example…  

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 Exercise  2  (writing  buddy/group  study)  2.1.  Look  at  the  paragraph  below  (from  the  same  essay).  Consider  the  following  questions   first   by   yourself,   then   discuss   them   with   your   writing   buddy   or   in  group  discussion.  What  is  this  paragraph  about?  What  is  the  internal  structure  of  the  paragraph?  Does  it  work  as  a  unit  of  thought?  Could  it  have  been  broken  up  even  further?  If  so,  where?    

Dream  divination  was  prolific   in  ancient  Greek   literature  and  storytelling,  serving   a   narrative   function   as   well   as   revealing   attitudes   towards  divination  and  superstition.  Indeed,  prophetic  dreams  are  a  recurring  motif  in   the   most   famous   of   all   Greek   stories   and   cultural   touchstones,   the  Homeric  poems.  Two  types  of  prophetic  dream  are  present  in  The  Iliad  and  ‘The   Odyssey’,   those   which   act   as   direct  messages   or   warnings   from   the  divine   or   supernatural,   and   those   with   signs   that   must   be   interpreted.  Dreams   of   the   former   type   are   far  more   common   in   Homer,   such   as   the  dream   experienced   by   Agamemnon,   wherein   Zeus   deceitfully   commands  him   to  attack   the  Trojans,  or   the  dream  experienced  by  Achilles,  wherein  the  ghost  of  Patroclus  visits  him  and  tells  him  to  bury  his  bones  so  he  can  travel  to  the  underworld.  These  dreams,  and  numerous  others  of  the  same  style  throughout  both  of  Homer’s  epics,  are  not  dreamt  in  the  normal  sense,  but   ‘visit’   the   characters   as   visions   of   loved   ones   or   familiar   individuals.  These  dreams  undoubtedly  serve  a  literary  purpose,  forwarding  the  plot  of  the   epic   and   depicting   the   supernatural   in   a   manner   that   may   seem  formulaic.  However,  as  argued  by  Eric  Robertson  Dodds,  this  form  of  dream  was   likely   adapted   from   the   Greek   religious   experience   by  Homer   in   the  form  of  a  literary  technique,  and  was  a  type  of  prophetic  dream  believed  to  have   been   experienced   in   ancient   culture.   The   interpretation   of   dreams  was  clearly  valued  during  the  time  of  Homer,  as  evidenced  by  the  mention  of   professional   dream   interpreters   at   several   points   throughout   Homer’s  work,  such  as  Eurydamas  in  The  Iliad  (who  ironically  does  not  foresee  the  deaths  of  his  sons).  Dreams  were  also  viewed  as  meaningful  platforms  for  divination.   The   prevalence   of   dream   divination   in   Greek   culture   is   seen  through   the   ways   in   which   Homer’s   epic   poems   reflected   archaic   Greek  beliefs  and  practices  regarding  dreams  and  dream  interpretation.  

   

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6   The  Footnotes    

These  exercises  strengthen  your  awareness  of  the  kind  of  statements,  observations  and  claims  that  warrant  a  citation  or  quote.      The  question  of  when  to  quote  and  when  to  cite  is  discussed  in  detail  in  Part  I:  Chapter  5.    For  more  on  referencing,  see  Part  I:  Chapters  6  and  7.      Exercise  1  (individual  study)    Read  through  the  extract  below  from  an  essay  on  WikiLeaks  and  try  to  determine  where  a  footnote  is  needed.    

However,  this  should  not  be  surprising,  for  the  government’s  role  should  be  to  represent  expert  knowledge  on  risk.  If  modern  government  is  abstracted  and   conceived   as   a   rational   function   of   society   through   which   the  distribution  of  power  and  resources  is  channelled  for  the  betterment  of  the  greatest   number,   then   the   logic   of   the   workings   of   government,   not  necessarily   its   policies   naturally   belong   in   a   different   epistemological  sphere  in  the  same  way  that  scientific  evidence  of  risk  should  theoretically  be  separate  to  social  and  political  decision-­‐making.  As  John  Dewey  argues,  and  as  Beck  adopts,  consequences,  not  decisions,  lie  at  the  heart  of  politics.  It   is   over   the   consequences   of   the   actions   of   government   that   the   civil  actors  in  Habermas’  sphere  of  ‘communicative  rationality’  should  form  civil  discourse.   However,   the   growth   of   the   bureaucratic   state   has   made   it  almost   impossible   for   government   to   occupy   this   abstract   role,   and   has  created   spaces   for   the   state   to   exert   top-­‐down   power   and   violence   to  separate  its  own  contested  sphere  of  rationality  from  that  of  civil  discourse.  The   reflexive   growth  of   a   global   civil   society   alongside   and   co-­‐dependent  with  the  bureaucratization  and  rationalization  of  spheres  of  public  life  has  perhaps   reduced   the   spaces   for   independent   criteria   through   which   to  judge  government  to  be  developed.  The  government  has  therefore  had  the  ability  to  reinscribe  its  own  power  through  the  type  of  discourse  which  is  mistaken   for   real,  well-­‐intentioned  diplomatic  work.   In   Žižek’s   terms,   the  government   has   occupied   its   traditional   role   only  where   the   force   of   the  market  as  a   ‘Big  Other’   -­‐   the  power  that  guarantees  an  objective  basis   for  responsibility  and  risk  in  modern  society-­‐  has  failed.      

 Commentary:  the  same  text  with  footnotes    

However,  this  should  not  be  surprising,  for  the  government’s  role  should  be  to  represent  expert  knowledge  on  risk.  If  modern  government  is  abstracted  and   conceived   as   a   rational   function   of   society   through   which   the  distribution  of  power  and  resources  is  channelled  for  the  betterment  of  the  greatest   number,   then   the   logic   of   the   workings   of   government,   not  necessarily   its   policies   naturally   belong   in   a   different   epistemological  sphere  in  the  same  way  that  scientific  evidence  of  risk  should  theoretically  be  separate  to  social  and  political  decision-­‐making.  As  John  Dewey  argues,  

72    

and  as  Beck  adopts,  consequences,  not  decisions,  lie  at  the  heart  of  politics.5  It   is   over   the   consequences   of   the   actions   of   government   that   the   civil  actors  in  Habermas’  sphere  of  ‘communicative  rationality’  should  form  civil  discourse.6  However,   the   growth   of   the   bureaucratic   state   has   made   it  almost   impossible   for   government   to   occupy   this   abstract   role,   and   has  created   spaces   for   the   state   to   exert   top-­‐down   power   and   violence   to  separate  its  own  contested  sphere  of  rationality  from  that  of  civil  discourse.  The   reflexive   growth  of   a   global   civil   society   alongside   and   co-­‐dependent  with  the  bureaucratization  and  rationalization  of  spheres  of  public  life  has  perhaps   reduced   the   spaces   for   independent   criteria   through   which   to  judge  government  to  be  developed.7  The  government  has  therefore  had  the  ability  to  reinscribe  its  own  power  through  the  type  of      discourse  which  is  mistaken   for   real,  well-­‐intentioned  diplomatic  work.   In   Žižek’s   terms,   the  government   has   occupied   its   traditional   role   only  where   the   force   of   the  market   as   a   ‘Big  Other’-­‐   the  power   that   guarantees   an  objective  basis   for  responsibility  and  risk  in  modern  society-­‐  has  failed.8      

 Works  Cited  in  this  Passage:      Beck,  U.  (2006)  ‘Living  in  the  World  Risk  Society’,  Economy  and  Society,  35,    

329-­‐45.  Beck,  U.  (1992)  Risk  Society:  Towards  a  New  Modernity.  London.  Dewey,  J.  (1983)  Logic:  The  Theory  of  Inquiry.  New  York.  Habermas,  J.  (1984)  The  Theory  of  Communicative  Action,  transl.  T.  McCarthy.    

Boston.  (German  orig.  1981)  Žižek,  S.  (1998)  ‘Risk  Society  and  its  Discontents’,  Historical  Materialism,  2,    

143-­‐64.    Exercise  2  (group  study)    2.1.  Take  the  exercise  above  and  discuss  with  your  writing  buddy  or  writing  group  why  the  footnotes  were  placed  where  they  are.      2.2.   Take   an   essay   you   have  written   before   and   remove   all   footnotes.   Share   it  with  a  writing  buddy  or  other  members  of  a  group  and  discuss  where  footnotes  are  needed  and  what  kind  of  information  should  or  could  go  into  these  footnotes.          

                                                                                                               5  Dewey  1983:  12;  Beck  2006.  6  Habermas  1984:  44.  7  Beck  1992.  8  Žižek  1998.  

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7   The  Conclusion    These  exercises  allow  you  to  practice  crafting  a  strong  and  compelling  conclusion  that  summarises  the  argument  and  presents  it  in  a  new  light.      For  more  on  writing  your  conclusion,  see  Part  I:  Chapter  4.    Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1.  Have  a  look  at  the  conclusion  below  which  belongs  to  an  essay  on  the  following  question:      

Given  the  overwhelmingly  male  dominated  Greek  moral  universe  central  to  his  work,  why  do  Herodotus’  Histories  feature  a  number  of  powerful  women?    

 How  successful  is  it  in  following  the  recommendations  for  conclusions  set  out  in  Part  I:  Chapter  4?  Do  you  get  a  good  sense  of  what  the  essay  is  about?    

Conclusion  

In  conclusion,  the  powerful  women  of  The  Histories  certainly  challenge  the  masculine  bias  usually  attributed  to  Ancient  Greece,  but  in  some  ways  they  reinforce   it   as   well.   This   is   particularly   evident   when   analysing   how  Herodotus’  differing  portrayals  and  outcomes  relate  to  their  marital  status  and  to  the  public/private  areas  in  which  they  act.  But  it  would  be  wrong  to  assume   that   this   contradicts   there   being   ideas   of   androgyny   and   balance  between   the   sexes.  Ament   says   that,   ‘Androgyny  was  never   far  below   the  surface   of   the   mind,   especially   in   societies   as   gender   rigid   as   ancient  Greece.’   As  The  Histories  sit   somewhere   between   literature   and  history   it  would  not  be  unusual  for  them  to  follow  in  the  tradition  of  classical  Greek  literature   by   indirectly   examining   different   ideas   about   the   nature   of  women  and  their  place   in  society.  On  the  basis  of   this  enquiry,  Herodotus  could   certainly   be   added   to   Ament’s   list   of,   ‘writers,   including   Euripides,  Plato   and   Aristophanes   that   accepted   the   concept   of   androgyny   and  promoted  its  ideals.’    

Commentary  

Overall,  this  is  well  done.  This  conclusion  does  a  good  job  in  summarizing  the  major  points  of  the  essay  and  in  presenting  them  in  a  larger  and  more  general  light.  A  few  points  where  it  could  have  improved.  Firstly,  the  phrasing  could  do  with  some  editing  in  some  places.  Secondly,  it  would  be  better  not  to  end  with  a  quote,  as  it  weakens  the  author’s  own  voice.  Lastly,  to  improve  the  conclusion  even  more,  some  farther-­‐reaching  implications  of  the  essay  topic  could  have  been  flagged.    Exercise  2  (group  study)    

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Swap  a  conclusion  of  an  essay  you  have  written  before  with  your  writing  buddy  and  edit  it  according  to  the  recommendations  for  conclusions  made  in  Part  I:  Chapter  4.  Discuss  your  suggested  changes  with  the  writing  buddy  or  in  class.    

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8   Giving  your  Essay  a  Title    These   exercises   raise   your   awareness   of   which   kind   of   titles   work   best   in  fulfilling  the  two  criteria  of  a  good  title:  triggering  the  interest  of  your  reader  and  providing  an  inkling  as  to  your  thesis  or  argument.    For  more  on  what  makes  a  good  title,  see  Part  I:  Chapter  4.    Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1.  Look  at  the  following  titles.  These  were  suggested  in  response  to  a  question  that  asked  students  to  discuss  the  wrath  of  Achilles  in  Homer’s  lliad.  Which  one  is  best  based  on  the  recommendations  for  good  titles  set  out  in  Part  1:  Chapter  4?      ‘Hector  is  Dead,  So  I  Win:  Achilles’  Attitude  to  the  Individual  and  the  Collective  in  

the  Iliad’  ‘Analysing  Achilles’  Anger  in  Homer’s  Iliad’  

‘The  Effectiveness  of  Achilles’  Anger  in  Homer’s  Iliad’  ‘The  Battle  between  Love  and  Anger’  

 ‘Saving  Patroclus:  Anger,  Love  and  Revenge  in  Homer’s  Iliad’    ‘Sing  Muse  of  the  Wrath  of  Achilles!  Song  Culture  and  the  Theme  of  Anger  in  

Homer’s  Iliad’    Commentary:    ‘Hector  is  Dead,  So  I  Win:  Achilles’  Attitude  to  the  Individual  and  the  Collective  in  the  ‘Iliad’  This   title  definitely  draws   the  reader   in,  and   flags  a  subject-­‐area   that   the  essay  will   discuss   (the   individual   and   the   collective   in   the   text).   The   link   to   anger   is  slightly  obscure,  however,  and  the  title  is  not  very  good  at  giving  an  indication  of  the  essay’s  argument.    Analysing  Achilles’  Anger  in  Homer’s  ‘Iliad’  This  title  is  too  plain.  It  merely  reiterates  the  question.  There  is  no  indication  where  this  essay  will  go.        The  Effectiveness  of  Achilles’  Anger  in  Homer’s  ‘Iliad’  as  a  narratological  device  This  title  is  not  bad,  but  a  bit  too  wordy  and  unclear  what  is  meant  with  ‘effectiveness’.  It  could  also  be  improved  by  a  catchy  main  title.      The  Battle  between  Love  and  Anger  This  title  is  intriguing,  but  nondescript.  This  title  would  benefit  from  a  clarifying  subtitle  which  indicates  what  kinds  of  texts  are  to  be  considered  here.        Saving  Patroclus:  Anger,  Love  and  Revenge  in  Homer’s  ‘Iliad’  

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This  title  ranks  highly  on  both  scales  of  what  a  good  title  should  do:  triggering  the  reader’s  attention  and  providing  an  inkling  towards  what  the  essay  will  argue.      ‘Sing  Muse  of  the  Wrath  of  Achilles!  Song  Culture  and  the  Theme  of  Anger  in  Homer’s  ‘Iliad’  Again,  this  is  a  great  title.  Catchy  and  successful  in  pointing  towards  what  this  essay  is  going  to  argue,  and  clever  in  incorporating  a  famous  quote  from  the  text.  ‘Song  culture’  will  need  to  be  to  be  clarified  in  the  introduction  to  this  essay.        Exercise  2  (group  study)    2.1.   Imagine   the   question   you   are   asked   to   answer   is   ‘What   do   historians   and  detectives  have  in  common’?  Now  try  to  come  up  with  a  preliminary  title  based  on  the  recommendations  for  good  titles  in  Part  I:  Chapter  4.      Once   you   have   done   this,   have   a   look   at   the   real-­‐life   titles   below  which   were  suggested  by  students  in  response  to  the  same  question.  Which  one  do  find  best?  Why?  How  successful  are   they   in   implementing   the  recommendations   for  good  titles?  Discuss  your  views  with  a  writing  buddy.    ‘History  as  a  Crime  Scene:  The  approaches  and  methodologies  of  the  Historian’  

‘Writing  History’  ‘The  Historian  and  the  Detective:  A  Comparative  Approach’  

‘Detecting  History:  The  Role  of  the  Historian  in  Creating  Social  and  Cultural  Histories’  

‘Historians:  Detectives  Across  Time’  ‘Looking  at  the  Historian  as  a  Detective’  

   Finally,  revisit  your  own  title.  How  does  it  compare?  What  does  your  writing  buddy  think  about  it?    

   

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9   The  Bibliography    The  following  exercises  allow  you  to  practice  what  kind  of  things  you  have  to  look  out  for  when  correcting  a  bibliography  for  consistency.    For  more  on  how  to  compile  a  bibliography  look  back  to  Part  I:  Chapter  7.    Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1.  Edit   the   following  bibliography   following   the  bibliographic   style   set  out   in  Part  I:  Chapter  7.  Then  check  against  the  corrected  bibliography  below.  Did  you  spot  all  the  mistakes  and  inconsistencies?    Adkins  (1997)  ‘Homeric  Ethics’  in  Morris,  I.  and  B.  Powell  (eds.)  A  New  

Companion  to  Homer.  Leiden,  694-­‐714.  

De  Lia,  D.  The  Achilles  Complex:  Preoedipal  Trauma,  Rage,  and  Repetition,’  

Psychoanalytic  Review  91  

Detienne,  M.  and  Vernant,  J.-­‐P.  (1991)  cunning  intelligence  in  greek  culture  and  

society,  transl.  J.  Lloyd.  Paris.  (French  orig.1974).  

Fowler,  R.  (ed.)  (2004)  The  Cambridge  Companion  to  Homer.  

King  K.  C.  (1987)  Achilles:  Paradigms  of  the  War  Hero  from  Homer  to  the  Middle  

Ages  Berkeley  

Zanker,  G.  (1996)  The  Heart  of  Achilles:  Characterization  and  Personal  Ethics  in  

the  Iliad.  Michigan.  

Morris,  I.  and  Powell,  B.  (1997)  A  New  Companion  to  Homer.  Leiden.  

Muellner,  L.  C.  (1996)  The  Anger  of  Achilles  :  Mēnis  in  Greek  Epic.  Ithaca.  

Scully,  S.  (2003)  ‘Reading  the  Shield  of  Achilles:  Terror,  Anger,  Delight,’  Harvard  

Studies  in  Classical  Philology  29-­‐47.  

Tsagarakis,  O.  (1971)  ‘The  Achaean  Embassy  and  the  Wrath  of  Achilles,’  Hermes  

99,  257-­‐77.  

 

     

78    

Commentary:  Corrections  are  in  bold.      Adkins,  A.  (1997)  ‘Homeric  Ethics’  in  Morris,  I.  and  Powell,  B.  (eds.)  A  New  

Companion  to  Homer.  Leiden,  694-­‐714.  [Consistency  is  key,  here  the  

initials  should  be  placed  after  the  surname.]  

De  Lia,  D.  (2004)  ‘The  Achilles  Complex:  Preoedipal  Trauma,  Rage,  and  

Repetition,’  Psychoanalytic  Review  91,  179-­‐99.  [Dates  and  page  numbers  

make  up  the  essential  bibliographic  information.]  

Detienne,  M.  and  Vernant,  J.-­‐P.  (1991)  Cunning  Intelligence  in  Greek  Culture  and  

Society,  transl.  J.  Lloyd  (French  orig.1974).  [Watch  out  for  capitalisation  

errors.]  

Fowler,  R.  (ed.)  (2004)  The  Cambridge  Companion  to  Homer.  Cambridge.  

King,  K.  C.  (1987)  Achilles:  Paradigms  of  the  War  Hero  from  Homer  to  the  Middle  

Ages.  Berkeley.  [3  punctuation  errors.]  

Morris,  I.  and  Powell,  B.  (eds.)  (1997)  A  New  Companion  to  Homer.  Leiden.  

[companions  are  most  likely  edited  volumes,  so  make  sure  you  don’t  miss  

the  editor.]  

Muellner,  L.  C.  (1996)  The  Anger  of  Achilles  :  Mēnis  in  Greek  Epic.  Ithaca.  

Scully,  S.  (2003)  ‘Reading  the  Shield  of  Achilles:  Terror,  Anger,  Delight,’  Harvard  

Studies  in  Classical  Philology  101,  29-­‐47.  [The  volume  of  the  journal  is  a  

vital  piece  of  information.]  

Tsagarakis,  O.  (1971)  ‘The  Achaean  Embassy  and  the  Wrath  of  Achilles,’  Hermes  

99,  257-­‐277.    

Zanker,  G.  (1996)  The  Heart  of  Achilles:  Characterization  and  Personal  

Ethics  in  the  Iliad.  Michigan.  [A  reference  list  should  be  organised  

alphabetically  by  surname.]  

 Exercise  2  (group  study)  2.1  Compile  a  bibliography  of  10  titles  on  friendship  in  Jane  Austen’s  novels  following  the  bibliographic  style  set  out  in  Part  I:  Chapter  7.  The  bibliography  should  include  monographs,  book  chapters  and  journal  articles.  Swap  it  with  another  student  and  check  how  many  mistakes  you  can  find  in  the  other’s  bibliography.    

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10   Revising  and  Editing    These  exercises  sharpen  your  eye  for  the  kind  of  problems  and  mistakes  you  may  wish  to  correct  as  part  of  the  revision  and  editing  stage  of  the  essay  writing  process.    Step  5  of  Part  I:  Chapter  3  as  well  as  Part  I:  Chapter  10  will  give  you  more  pointers  on  what  to  look  out  for  when  revising  and  editing.    

 Exercise  1  (individual  study)  

 1.1.  Edit  the  following  paragraph  by  simplifying  words  and  sentences  and  by  correcting  mistakes.  

   In  book  6  of  Herodotus  Histories,  the  following  story  is  told  by  the  Spartan  

King   Leotychides:   three   generations   earlier,   there   was   a   Spartan   by   the  

name   of   Glaucus,   who   had   an   outstanding   reputation   all   over   the   Greek  

world   for   being   a   particularly   honest  man.   A   stranger   from  Miletus   once  

visited   this  Glaucus.9  The  stranger  appealed   to  Glaucus  great  honesty  and  

handed   over   half   of   his  money   to   him   for   safekeeping.   He   also   gave   him  

some  tallies  and   instructed  him  to  release  the   funds  only  to  whoever  was  

able   to  produce   the  corresponding  halfes.  A  number  of  years  passed.  One  

day   the   son’s   of   the   Milesian   stranger   turned   up   at   Sparta,   showed   the  

tokens  and  demanded   the  return  of   the  money.  Glaucus,  however,  denied  

having   any   knowledge   of   the   matter   and   send   the   Milesians   back   home  

empty  handed.  After   their  departure,  he   immediately   set  out   to  Delphi   to  

ask   the   oracle  whether   he   could   keep   the  Money,   whereupon   the   Pythia  

allegedly   produced   the   following   response…   (from   Kindt,   J.   (2016)  

Revisiting  Delphi:  Religion  and  Storytelling  in  Ancient  Greece.  Cambridge)  

   

Sample  Edits    

In   book   six   of   Herodotus’   Histories,   the   Spartan   king   Leotychides   tells   the  

following   story   to   the   Athenians:   Three   generations   ago,   there   was   a   Spartan  

called   Glaucus,   who   had   a   reputation   all   over   the   Greek   world   for   being   a  

                                                                                                               9  Hdt.  6.86  

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particularly  honest  man.10  A  stranger  from  Miletus  once  visited  this  Glaucus.  The  

stranger  appealed  to  Glaucus’  great  honesty  and  handed  over  half  his  money  for  

safekeeping.  He  also  gave  Glaucus  some  tallies,  and  instructed  him  to  release  the  

funds   only   to   whoever   was   able   to   produce   the   corresponding   halves.   Years  

passed.  One  day   the  sons  of   the  Milesian  stranger   turned  up  at  Sparta,   showed  

the   tokens,   and   demanded   the   return   of   the  money.   Glaucus,   however,   denied  

any  knowledge  of   the  matter  and  sent   the  Milesians  back  home  empty-­‐handed.  

After   their   departure,   he   immediately   set   out   for   Delphi   to   ask   the   oracle  

whether   he   could   keep   the   money,   whereupon   the   Pythia   allegedly   gave   the  

following   response…   (from   Kindt,   J.   (2016)   Revisiting   Delphi:   Religion   and  

Storytelling  in  Ancient  Greece.  Cambridge)  

   Exercise  2  (group  study)    2.1.  Swap  a  one-­‐page  sample  of  your  writing  with  your  writing  buddy.  Edit  and  correct  each  other’s  text.  Discuss  the  changes  you  have  made.      

                                                                                                               10  Hdt.  6.86.  

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11   Writing  a  Summary      These  exercises  allow  you  to  practice  writing  a  summary  of  your  essay.    See  Part  I:  Chapter  4  for  instructions  on  how  to  write  an  abstract  or  summary.      Exercise  1  (individual  study)    1.1.  Look  at  version  1  of  the  synopsis  first,  then  compare  it  with  version  2.  What  are  the  differences?  Why  is  the  second  version  more  successful  as  a  summary  of  the  essay?      Version  1:    

This  essay  relates  Achilles’  anger  to  his  views  on  manliness  and  shows  that  the   two   are   related   to   each   other.   Throughout   The   Iliad,   Achilles   is  presented   as   being   deeply   committed   to   Archaic  manliness.   This   ideal   of  manliness   becomes   tangible   in   numerous   passages   throughout   the   epic.  Achilles’   anger   seems   to   be   the   result   of   situations   in   which   his   own  expectations  fall  short  of  his  status  as  a  Homeric  hero.  

 Version  2:    

This   essay   addresses   the   question   of   why   Achilles   is   angry   in   Homer’s  ‘Iliad’.  I  argue  that  Achilles’  anger  is,  to  a  significant  extent,  grounded  in  the  ideals   of  manliness   and  power   specific   to   the  world  of   the  Archaic  Greek  hero.   I   first  show  that   throughout   the   Iliad,  Achilles   is  presented  as  being  deeply  committed  to  this  world,  its  values  and  ideologies.  I  then  move  on  to  show   that   this   world   is   defined   first   and   foremost   by   a   certain   ideal   of  manliness   as   it   becomes   tangible   in   numerous   passages   throughout   the  epic.  Finally,  I  illustrate  that  in  those  situations  in  which  Achilles  expresses  his  anger,  he  does  so  in  a  way  that  directly  appeals  to  the  ideas  and  values  of  manliness  specific  to  this  world.  Achilles’  anger  seems  to  be  the  result  of  situations   in   which   his   own   expectations   fall   short   of   his   status   as   a  Homeric  hero.  

 Exercise  2  (group  study)    Write  a  synopsis  of  one  of  the  sample  essays  below  (Exercises  13-­‐15).  Swap  and  compare  it  with  your  writing  buddy  or  with  another  member  of  your  group  and  discuss   its   strengths   and   weaknesses   referring   to   the   recommendation   for  writing  a  summary  set  out  in  Part  I,  Chapter  4.      

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14     Sample  Essays  and  Commentaries    

Sample  Essay  1:  Text    

Peace  in  Aristophanes’  Acharnians,  Peace  and  Lysistrata    

Acharnians,  Peace   and  Lysistrata  were  written   by  Aristophanes   and  performed  over   a   turbulent   fourteen-­‐year   period   in   Athens.   Although   they   are   regarded  collectively  as  his  ‘peace  plays’  I  agree  with  Newiger’s  statement  that,  “while  he  manages  to  accomplish  peace  in  all  three  comedies,  the  nature  and  presentation  of   peace  differ   greatly   from  play   to  play.”11  It   is   these  differences   that   I   aim   to  explore,  and  in  this  essay  I  will  argue  that  there  is  a  chronological  development  in   Aristophanes’   treatment   of   peace,   but   it   is   not   by   any  means   definitive   and  should  only  be  viewed  in  the  broadest  possible  sense.    Acharnians  is  one  of  Aristophanes’  most  topical  plays.  When  it  took  first  prize  at  the  Lenaia  Festival  in  425BC  the  Peloponnesian  War  between  Athens  and  Sparta  was  already   in   its  sixth  year  and  the  rural  deme  of  Acharnia  had  been  ravaged  repeatedly   in   431,   430,   428   and   427.   The   forced   movement   of   rural   citizens  behind  the  city  walls,  technically  safe  but  far  from  the  comforts  of  home  and  yet  still   close   enough   to   see   their   farms   and   crops   being   burned   to   the   ground,  caused   resentment   and   bitterness   as   the   Athenian   state   had   made   no   real  provisions   to   accommodate   these   rural   citizens   long   term,   and   to   some   extent  the  character  of  Dikaiopolis  is  emblematic  of  that  discontent.  In  his  history  of  the  Peloponnesian  War  Thucydides  also  reinforces  this  perception  of  unhappiness.12      At   the   beginning   of   the   play   Dikaiopolis   has   arrived   early   on   the   Pnyx   for   a  meeting  and  as  he  waits  for  his  tardy  fellow  citizens  to  arrive  he  looks  longingly  towards  the  country  dreaming  of  peace.13  During  the  assembly  it  becomes  clear  that   some   citizens   are   financially   profiting   from   the   current   state   of  war  with  Sparta  and  have  no  intention  of  considering  peace.  This  enrages  Dikaiopolis  and  turns  him  against  his   fellow  citizens,   leading   to  his  decision   to   seek  a   separate  peace  on  his  own  terms  and  only  for  himself  and  his  household.  In  simple  terms  the  strain  of  war  has  caused  irreparable  dissent  among  the  Athenian  citizen  body  and  Dikaiopolis’  decision  to  go  it  alone  is  a  symbol  of  this  state  of  affairs,  the  sad  irony  being   that   the  Athenians   are  meant   to  be   fighting   the  Spartans,  not   each  other.  There  is  much  comic  mileage  to  be  made  from  the  subsequent  enactment  of  Dikaiopolis’  personal  peace  within  Athenian  territory  and  Aristophanes  takes  full  advantage  of  the  opportunities  it  presents.      Peace   enables   Dikaiopolis   to   trade   with   foreigners   that   the   rest   of   Athens   is  officially   still   at   war   with   and   he   obtains   fine   foods   and   delicacies   through  bargaining   (not   by   the   economic   exchange   of   money)   which   emphasis   the  difference   between   rural   and   urban   life,   focussing   in   particular   on   the   natural  bounty  of  the  land.  Here  the  reader  is  presented  not  just  with  the  dichotomy  of  

                                                                                                               11  Newiger  1980:  219.  12  Th.  2.  14.  13  Ar.  Ach.  32-­‐6.  

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war   and   peace   but   with   the   associated   parallels   between   city   and   country.  However  with  the  arrival  of   the  chorus,  an  angry  band  of  Acharnians,  a   further  divide  becomes  apparent,   that  of  vengeance  at  all  costs  versus  the  benefits  of  a  more   pragmatic   and   conciliatory   approach   represented   by   the  Acharnians   and  Dikaiopolis   respectively.   It   is   not   Dikaiopolis   who   refuses   to   share   his   peace  treaty  with  the  Acharnians,  it  is  the  Acharnians  who  furiously  condemn  and  want  no  part  of  it.14        As   the   play   progresses   the   question   of   whether   other   Athenian   citizens   also  want  peace  comes  up  and  after  seeing  Dikaiopolis  trading  at  his  market  it  seems  that  most   of   them  do,   the   previously  war-­‐hungry   chorus   saying,   “I   shall   never  receive   war   in   my   home.”15  Yet   Dikaiopolis   declines   to   share   his   peace   with  everyone  who  comes  asking  for  a  piece  of  it.  This  is  sometimes  seen  as  evidence  of  Dikaiopolis’  selfishness  but  I  see  it  as  the  natural  result  of  Dikaiopolis  having  to   split   from   the   rest   of   Athens   as   he   did   in   the   beginning,   in   order   to   obtain  peace.   Don’t   forget   that  Dikaiopolis   tried   to   raise   his   voice   in   the   Assembly   to  speak   in   favour   of   peace   and  was   not   listened   to.   This   rift   in   the   citizen   body  cannot  be  healed  in  one  short  play  and  so  despite  Dikaiopolis’  achievements  and  enjoyment  of   the  pleasures   that   come  with  peace  we  are  ultimately   left  with  a  citizen  demos  divided,  not  a  wholly  satisfactory  outcome.    It   has   been   noted   previously   that   there   are   many   similarities   between   the  protagonists   of  Acharnians   and  Peace.   Like  Dikaiopolis,  Trygaios   is   an  old  man  from  the  country  who  wants  to  end  the  war  so  he  can  return  to  the  place  he  loves  best.  However  while  there  are  still  a  number  of  references  to  topical  events  and  persons  in  Peace  (eg.  the  pestles  War  can  no  longer  find  to  grind  Greek  produce  down  are  referred  to  as  the  recently  deceased  generals  Kleon  and  Brasidas),  this  plot  steps  further  into  the  realm  of  fantasy,  including  some  Olympian  Gods  and  a  number  of  allegorical  characters  who  play  key  roles.  Here  peace  is  depicted  not  as  a  purely  human  matter  but  as  something  which  lies  in  the  hands  of  the  Gods,  diminishing   the   role   of   human   agency   in   the   outcome   of   war   or   peace   and  showing  humans  as  up  against  the  Gods  in  a  struggle  for  control  over  their  own  lives.      When,  in  a  parody  of  Bellepheron’s  journey  to  Olympus,  Trygaios  flies  upwards  on   a   giant   dung   beetle   it   is   not   just   tragedy   that   is   being   mocked   because   in  turning   to   the   Gods   for   assistance   Trygaios   has   effectively   accepted   there   is  nothing  more  he  can  do  on  earth.  There  is  an  element  of  human  helplessness  in  his   attitude   that   puts   him   in   stark   contrast   to   the   resourceful   Dikaiopolis   and  perhaps  this  is  a  reflection  of  an  Athenian  populace  worn  down  by  the  associated  privations   of   wartime.   It   should   be   noted   that   while   Athens   and   Sparta   were  much  closer  to  reaching  a  peace  treaty  when  Aristophanes  was  writing  this  play,  the  Peace  of  Nicias  was  not  actually  formalised  until  after  the  Dionysia  festival  in  the  spring  of  421  at  which  Peace  was  performed.      

                                                                                                               14  MacDowell  1995:  76.  15  Ar.  Ach.  979.  

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The  peace  that  Trygaios  seeks  is  different  to  that  sought  by  Dikaiopolis  for  two  main   reasons.   Firstly   it   is  more   pan-­‐hellenic   and   less   Athenocentric   in   nature.  This   can  be   seen   in   the  way   the   fortunes  of  multiple  poleis   are  metaphorically  grinded  up  together  in  a  bowl  by  the  personification  of  War  as  well  as  Trygaios’  speech   at   his  wedding   in  which  he   asks   the  Gods   to   give  wealth   to   the  Greeks  collectively.16  Secondly  there  is  the  personification  of  peace  as  a  passive  object,  a  statue  with   no   real   strength   or   autonomy   of   its   own   (this   point   is  made   even  clearer  by  the  unusual  representation  of  Peace  onstage  by  a  statue  and  not  by  an  actor).  Like  a  divine  statue  in  a  Greek  temple,  Peace  depends  on  the  protection  of  beings  with  real  autonomy  and  the  gulf  between  acceptance  of  war  as  divine  fate  and  utilising  human  agency  to  make  changes  is  made  clear  when  Trygaios  is  told  by  Hermes  that  the  Gods,   in  their  anger  with  the  Greeks’  failure  to  make  peace,  have  gone  away  and  left  them  to  the  mercy  of  War.17      While  in  the  rescue  scene  the  ethnic  identity  of  the  farmers  who  successfully  pull  Peace   to   freedom   is   not   made   explicitly   clear,   their   co-­‐operation   is   surely   a  lesson   for   the  mix   of  Megarians,   Spartans,   Argives,   etc,  whose   first   attempt   to  rescue   Peace   failed.   By   this   point   in   the   play   it   is   also   clear   that   Trygaios   has  transitioned   from   the   comedic   standard   ‘bold   hero   setting   out   on   a   solo  endeavour’   to   someone   who   is   more   malleable   and   adaptive   in   the   way   he  accepts  Hermes’  advice  and  assistance.  The  joyous  and  bountiful  nature  of  peace  is  made  clear  in  the  final  wedding  celebrations  of  Trygaios  to  Opora  as  both  their  names  have  connotations  with  grapes,  vines  and  harvest.18      Putting   Lysistrata   in   context,   when   this   play   was   performed   at   the   Lenaia  Festival   in  411BC  Athens  was  going   through  perhaps   the  most  desperate  crisis  they   had   encountered   since   the   Persian   War.   The   Athenian   navy,   once   its  greatest  military  strength  had  been  virtually  wiped  out  just  two  years  earlier  in  an  ambitious  expedition  to  Sicily  so  they  had  used  their  special  reserve  fund  to  rebuild  it.  The  effects  of  prolonged  warfare  meant  that  morale  was  low  but  at  the  same  time  the  Athenians  had  become  habituated  to  war  and  peace  did  not  look  like  it  would  come  any  time  soon.      To   contemporary   audiences   the   basic   plot   of   Lysistrata,   in   which   an   Athenian  priestess   co-­‐ordinates   a   pan-­‐hellenic   rebellion   of   women   may   not   seem   as  fantastical  and  unlikely  as  it  did  to  audiences  in  411.  But  make  no  mistake,  this  situation  was   every   bit   as   improbable   as   Trygaios   flying   to   heaven   on   a   giant  dung   beetle   or   Dikaiopolis   successfully   negotiating   his   own   personal   freedom  and  enjoying   the  benefits  within  Athenian   territory.  The   inclusion  of  women   is  not  a  feminist  statement  or  implies  in  any  way  that  women  should  take  a  role  in  the   running   of   their   polis.   Rather   it   is   indicative   of   the   dire   straits   the   Greeks  found   themselves   in   at   this   time   and   their   self-­‐perceived   inability   to   visualise  negotiating   peace   for   themselves.   The   inclusion   of   women   also   gives  Aristophanes   a   whole   new   range   of   stereotypical   female   vices   to   laugh   at  (including  drunkenness,  deceit  and  adulterous  sex)  and  ample  opportunities  for  sexual  puns  and  ribald  humour.  It  should  be  remembered  that  these  plays  were                                                                                                                  16  Ar.  Peace.  1320-­‐30  17  Ar.  Peace.  203-­‐20  18  MacDowell  1995:  193.  

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written   in   a   competitive   context   and   in   this   sense   the  poets  needed   to   include  novel  elements  which  had  not  been  seen  before  and  might  garner  the  audiences’  (and  judges’)  attention  and  win  their  favour.      To  what  extent  Lysistrata  and  Aristophanic  old  comedy  in  general  functioned  as  a  much  needed  distraction   from  the   trials  of  war  and  an  opportunity   to  simply  laugh  and  have   fun   is  unclear,   but   it   is   likely   that   the   improbable   situations  of  these   plays   was   what   allowed   them   to   be   set   in   Athens   yet   retain   enough  distance   from   reality   to   be   viewed   as   quite   separate   to   the   audiences   own  experiences.   The   difference   between   the   motivation   for   peace   outlined   in  Lysistrata,  compared  with  that  of  Acharnians  and  Peace  is  that  the  association  of  peace   with   rural   idyll   and   plentiful   harvests   has   gone.   In   Lysistrata   peace   is  defined   in   opposition   to   the   absence   of   men   from   the   family   home   and   by  extension  to  their  death   in  battle   that  war  necessitates.  Peace   is   family  and  the  continued  cohesion,  security  and  prosperity  of  each  oikos.      Following   the   above   analysis   I   believe   that   a   coherent   chronological  development   in   Athenian   attitudes   to   war   can   be   discerned   by   an   analysis   of  these   plays,   BUT   only   in   the   broadest   possible   sense.   This   is   because  Aristophanes’   works   are   so   rich   and   multi-­‐layered   that   you   can   analyse   and  understand  them  from  a  multitude  of  different  angles  and  while  this  is  admirable  it   also  makes   them  difficult   to   definitively   place   in   context.   On   top   of   this,   the  concept  of  a  chronological  development  in  Aristophanes’  larger  body  of  work  is  also  hampered  by  the  fact  that  we  have  access  to  only  eleven  of  his  extant  works  yet  fragments  and  knowledge  of  quite  a  few  more  plays  and  may  well  be  missing  key  parts  of  the  puzzle.    Whereas   Acharnians   featured   a   populace   divided   by   opinion   –   revenge   vs  diplomacy,   in   Peace   the   rivalry   is   displaced   to   a   personification   of   War   itself  juxtaposed   with   Greeks   and   Gods   working   together   for   a   common   cause.   In  Lysistrata  war  has  become  such  a  constant  part  of  life  that  it  takes  a  pan-­‐hellenic  group  of  women   to  collectively   ‘force’   their  husbands   into  making  peace.  What  we   are   seeing   here   are   the   psychological   effects   of   prolonged   warfare,   from  widespread  anger  to  perceived  helplessness  reflected  by  a  reaffirmation  of   fate  and   the   divine,   and   finally   acceptance   of   and   habituation   to   war   while  acknowledging   its   effect   in   separating   family   members   and   breaking   up   the  oikos.    Bibliography  Primary  Sources  Aristophanes,  The  Acharnians  (Trans.  Sommerstein,  2002)  Aristophanes,  Peace  (Trans.  Sommerstein,  2005)  Aristophanes,  Lysistrata  (Trans.  Sommerstein,  2002)  Thucydides,  History  of  the  Peloponnesian  War      (Trans.  Strassler,  1996)    Secondary  Literature    Biles,  Z.  P.  (2011)  Aristophanes  and  the  Poetics  of  Competition.  Cambridge    Robson,  J.  (2009)  Aristophanes:  An  Introduction.  Duckworth  

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MacDowell,  D.  M.   (1995)  Aristophanes  and  Athens:  An   Introduction  to   the  Plays.  Oxford    Newiger,  H-­‐J.  (1980)  War  and  Peace  in  the  Comedy  of  Aristophanes.  Yale  Classical  Studies.  26:  219-­‐237  Rosenbloom,  D.   (2006)   “Empire   and   its  Discontents:  Trojan  Women,  Birds,  and  the   Symbolic   Economy   of   Athenian   Imperialism”,   in   J.   Davidson,   Muecke,   F.   &  Wilson,   P.   eds.,   Greek   Drama   III:   Essays   in   Honour   of   Kevin   Lee.   Institute   of  Classical  Studies  Sidwell,   K.   C.   (2009)  Aristophanes   the  democrat:   the  politics  of   satirical   comedy  during  the  Peloponnesian  War.  Cambridge  University  Press  Storey,  I.  C.  (2006)  “Comedy,  Euripides,  and  the  War(s)”  in  Davidson,  J.  Muecke,  F.   &  Wison,   P.   eds.,  Greek  Drama   III:  Essays   in  honour  of  Kevin  Lee.   Institute   of  Classical  Studies  Tritle,  L.  A.  (2010)  A  new  history  of  the  Peloponnesian  War.  Blackwell  Publishing  Wilson,  Peter  (2000)  “Powers  of  Horror  and  Laughter:  the  Great  Age  of  Drama”  in   O.   Taplin   ed.,   Literature   in   the  Greek  and  Roman  Worlds:   A  New  Perspective,  Oxford  University  Press    

 

   

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Sample  Essay  1:  Commentary    Title:  This  is  a  fine  subtitle.  A  catchy  main  title  could  have  been  added  to  draw  the  reader  in  more  from  the  very  start.    Introduction:   Overall   this   is   well   done.   The   introduction   starts   with   a   nice,  specific   opening   sentence.   It   sets   up   a   specific   research   question   (how   do   the  nature  and  presentation  of  peace  differ   in  Aristophanes’   three  dramas  concerned  with   peace?).   The   following   thesis   statement   (I   will   argue…)   could   have   been  developed   further   by   spelling   out   what   the   chronological   development   in  Aristophanes’   treatment   of   peace   amounts   to.   As   it   currently   stands   the   first,  strong  part  of   the   thesis  statement   (‘I  will  argue  that  that  there  is  chronological  development   in  Aristophanes’   treatment  of  peace…’)   is   somewhat   diluted   by   the  second  part  pointing   to   the   fact   that  no  definitive  statement   is  possible.   If   they  are  necessary  at  all,  such  observations  are  better  saved  for  the  conclusion.  Try  to  avoid  statements  such  as   I  aim  to…  but  assert  yourself  more  and  simply  state   I  explore…      Main   Body:   Strong   points   of   this   essay   include   a   clear   and   logical   structure,  which   is   supported   by   succinct   paragraphs.   While   some   of   these   paragraphs  have  strong  topic  sentences  others  could  be  improved.  A  topic  sentence  needs  to  let  the  reader  in  on  the  theme  of  the  paragraph  early  and  clarify  how  it  relates  to  the   previous   paragraph.   Some   topic   sentences   do   just   that   (The   peace   that  Trygaios   seeks   is   different   to   that   sought   by   Dikaiopolis…).   Others   are  unsuccessful   in  conveying  the  paragraph’s  theme  (e.g.  Peace  enables  Dikaiopolis  to   trade  with   foreigners…).   Others,   again,   fail   to   convey   how   they   build   on   the  previous  paragraph.   It   is   for   example  unclear  how   the  paragraph   starting  with  ‘Putting   Lysistrata   in   context…’   advances   the   argument   made   in   the   previous  paragraph.      Referencing   and  Work  with   Sources:  The  author  of   this  essay  has   found  the  right   level   of   re-­‐narration   of   content   from   the   three   texts   under   investigation  here.   The   level   of   plot   summary   is   appropriate   to   the   argument.   Overall   this  essay  could  be  improved  by  engaging  more  closely  with  the  secondary  literature  and   the   texts   (sources)   themselves.   As   it   stands   the   footnoting/referencing   is  underdeveloped.   In  particular  sentences   like,  This  is  sometimes  seen  as  evidence  and   It   has   been   noted   previously   …   raise   the   question   of   who   has   done   the  noticing   and   seeing   here.   The   essay   is   also   missing   references   to   primary  evidence  at  various  points  (e.g.  after:  focussing  in  particular  on  the  natural  bounty  of  the  land;  representation  of  Peace  onstage  by  a  statue  and  not  by  an  actor;  …to  speak  in  favour  of  Peace  and  was  not  listened  to…;  ample  opportunities  for  sexual  puns  and  ribald  humour...    Language/Style:   The   language  of   this   essay   flows  nicely   and   is   appropriate   to  the   topic   under   discussion.   There   is   no   jargon   or   overly   technical   words.  Occasionally,  however,  the  writing  style  becomes  a  bit  too  casual  for  a  research  essay  (e.g.  But  make  no  mistake...;  Don’t  forget…;  BUT).    

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Conclusion:   The   last   two   paragraphs   could   be   merged   to   form   a   strong   and  succinct   conclusion.   The   real   strength   of   the   concluding   paragraphs   lies   in   the  very   last  sentence  of   the  essay.  One  wonders   if   the  qualifications   in   the  second  last  paragraph  are  necessary  at  all.    Proofreading   and   Bibliography:   This   essay   would   have   benefitted   from  another   round   of   proofreading.   As   it   stands   there   are   a   number   of  inconsistencies,  mistakes  and  overly  long  sentences  which  should  be  broken  up  and   clarified   (see  e.g.  The  forced  movement…discontent;  Peace  enables…land;  To  what   extent…experiences;).   Titles   of   books   (including   in   this   case   those   of   the  ancient  sources)  should  always  be  in  italics  (Acharnians,  Lysistrata,  History  of  the  Peloponnesian  War,  etc.).  The  bibliography,  in  particular,  is  full  of  inconsistencies  and   should   be   edited   to   follow   a   consistent   style.   The   same   goes   for   the  footnotes.   A   further   round   of   editing   would   have   yielded   a   more   polished  product.    

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Sample  Essay  2:  Text    

 The  political  climate  of  Louisiana  in  the  years  preceding  secession  and  the  political  factors  that  led  the  state  to  leave  the  Union.  

 The   years   preceding   the   secession   of   Louisiana   from   the  United   States   in   1861  were   characterized   by   a   rapid   chronological   ‘revolution’   in   Louisianan   political  thought  and  sectionalism,  reflective  of  the  unique  nature  of  the  state’s  secession  and   subsequent   involvement   in   the   American   Civil   War.   Whilst   slavery   was  undeniably   at   the   base   of   all   southern   states’   campaigns   to   resist   Union  governance,   the   popular   politics   of   Louisiana   represent   a   nuanced,   anomalous  chronicle   of   secession,   consistent   with   a   gradual   transformation   in   Louisianan  political   culture.  Whilst   the  state  held   the   largest  slave  population   in   the  United  States,  it  was  also  comprised  of  a  significant  number  of  Unionist  sympathizers  by  virtue  of   its  diverse  demographics.  As  such  Unionism  prevailed  relative  to  other  southern  states  in  the  years  preceding  the  war.  However,  the  growth  of  northern  Unionist  interference  in  the  state’s  affairs  shifted  the  political  opinion  of  Louisiana  to  initially  consider  secession  as  an  available  means  of  economic  self-­‐preservation  and  political  autonomy.  These  rising  sentiments  climaxed  in  the  1860  Presidential  election   that   represented  a  political   ‘revolution’   in  Louisianan  sentiment,  due   to  the  Republican  victory’s  appearance  as  an  impingement  on  the  state’s  autonomy.  Subsequent   internal   media   propaganda   and   campaigns   as   well   as   a   peak   in  popular   opposition   to   the  Republicans’   federal   agenda   culminated   in   the   state’s  unanimous  secession  in  1861.      The   lucrative   economic   benefits   of   slavery   were   unmistakable   in   Louisiana’s  commercial  sector  and  formed  a  fundamental  aspect  of  the  southern  sectionalist  identity.   This   is   key   to   understanding   the   political   climate   at   the   base   of   the  population’s   constantly   evolving   and   paradoxical   relationship  with   the  Union,   a  volatile  equilibrium  between  economic  prosperity  and  political  stability.  Bank  of  Louisiana   appraisal   certificates   highlight   that   the   city   of   New   Orleans   and  surrounding   regions   of   Louisiana  were   among   the  wealthiest   in   the   antebellum  period  due  to  the  significant  value  ascribed  to  slaves  and  the  wealth  derived  from  their  constant  exchange.19  From  this  it  is  possible  to  ascertain  that  slavery  was  an  institutionalized   and   highly   normalized   aspect   of   the   Louisiana   economy,  suggesting   the   essentiality   of   the   practice   to   the   population’s   political   and  economic  culture.  Johnson  postulates  that  the  prevalence  of  a  high  intensity  slave  trade  since  the  city’s  French  colonial  days  had  ingrained  a  perception  of  necessity  amongst  Louisianans  pertaining   to   the  presence  of  slavery   in  society,  citing   that  prior   to   the  war   the   slave  population  of   the   city  was  as  high  as   forty-­‐seven  per  cent.20  As   such,   the   idea   of   progression   amongst   northern   states   to   remove  slavery   from   their   own   institutions   threatened   the   very   essence   of   Louisiana’s  thriving   economy,   rallying   a   sense   of   political   uncertainty   and   caution   amongst  the   city’s   populace,   in   light   of   the  move   toward   a  more   federal   and   centralized  

                                                                                                               19  Citizen’s  Bank  of  Louisiana  appraisal  certificate:  John  Minor  Wisdom  Collection,  1710-­‐1960,  Manuscripts  Collection  230,  Box  10,  Louisiana  Research  Collection,  Tulane  University.  20  Johnson  1999:  109.  

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form   of   government   that   sought   legal   uniformity   among   states.   The   pervasive  nature   of   the   slave   economy   in   antebellum   Louisiana   formed   a   coveted   and  profound  structure  in  the  state’s  financial  operation.  In  effect,  slavery  was  at  the  forefront   of   southern   sectionalism   and   represents   an   economic   structure   and  political  culture  integral  to  understanding  the  political  tensions  that  developed  in  Louisiana.    In   spite  of  Louisiana’s   strong   involvement   in   the  protection  and   cultivation  of   a  slave-­‐driven  economy,  the  state  did  not  necessarily  ascribe  to  the  agenda  of  other  secessionist   states   in   the   years   preceding   the   war,   highlighting   the   unique  political   culture   extant   in   the   state.   Louisiana,   and   in  particular   the   city   of  New  Orleans,  were  characterized  by  anomalous  demographics  that  had  long  given  way  to  a  generalized  sentiment  of  Union  sympathy,  contrary  to  that  of  other  southern  states   at   the   beginning   of   the   1850s.   Adams   references   Louisiana’s   lack   of  involvement  in  the  Nashville  Convention  of  1850  as  a  strong  indicator  of  popular  unionist  sentiment,  given  that  the  convention  involved  all  other  southern  states  in  an   effort   to   mitigate   the   effects   of   the   northern   states’   growing   power   and  opposition  to  slavery.  He  cites  that  Whig  Party  member  Daniel  Webster’s  Speech  of  the  Seventh  of  March  in  response  to  the  Compromise  of  1850  and  gave  renewal  to  the  Unionist  demographics  of  Louisiana  and  politically  distanced  the  state  from  the   ideals   of   the   rest   of   the   south,   leading   them   to   reject   involvement   in  conspiracy  against  northern  progression.21  Sacher  attributes  this  uncharacteristic  Unionist   sentiment   to   key  demographic   groups  within  Louisiana.  He  posits   that  the  state  of  Louisiana  had  a  disproportionately  high  rate  of  northern  immigrants,  who   in  spite  of  supporting   the  continuance  of  slavery,  sought   to  retain  strategic  ties  with  the  north  for  continued  financial  support  as  well  as  fostering  a  sense  of  nationalism.22  Furthermore,   the   prevalent   Creole   and   Catholic   identities   in   the  state   were   largely   in   moral   conflict   with   the   ideology   of   slavery,   providing   a  distinct   voice   against   southern   ideals   of   slavery,   with   the   rest   of   the   south  representing  largely  white  and  Protestant  interests  on  the  national  stage.  As  such,  the   state’s   diverse   and   anomalous   demographics   facilitated   earlier   political  interactions   with   the   Union   that   contributed   to   an   apprehension   toward  secessionism  in  the  years  preceding  the  formation  of  the  Confederacy.    Whilst   these   demographic   features   of   Louisiana   discouraged   secession   in   a  manner  converse  to  other  southern  states,  this  did  not  necessarily  translate  to  the  state’s   complete   devotion   to   Unionist   politics.   In   fact,   the   extent   of   Louisiana’s  unionism  was  limited  in  that  it  sought  to  remain  in  the  Union  on  a  symbolic  level,  without   ascribing   to   abolitionism   or   reduced   autonomy.   As   such,   anti-­‐unionist  sentiments   were   indeed   present   and   were   gradually   fueled   by   increasing  disenchantment   with   the   Union   throughout   the   1850s.   Roland   suggests   that  Louisianans   held   the   idea   of   secession   as   an   extreme   measure   of   self-­‐preservation,  which  was  not  deemed  necessary  or  justifiable  in  the  early  1850s.23  He  refers  to  two  particular  events,  which  are  representative  of  a  larger  northern  political   campaign   that   he   considers   key   in   this   growing   shift   in   the   political  allegiance.  The  first  of  these  was  the  publication  of  ‘Uncle  Tom’s  Cabin’  by  Harriet                                                                                                                  21  Adams  1974:  213-­‐28.  22  Sacher  2007:  54.  23  Roland  1978:  391.  

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Beecher  Stowe  in  1852.  The  novel  was  centered  upon  the  process  of  abolition,  and  encouraged  Christian  morals  and  values  to  prevail  over  tendencies  of  slavery  that  she  deemed  as  extremely  harmful  and  damaging  to  the  human  psyche.24    Roland  posits  that  this  publication  gained  major  traction  in  Louisiana,  where  it  resonated  with   large   communities   of   freed   slaves   and   Catholics.   In   turn,   it   would   have  incited   fierce   opposition   and   fear   within   the   slave   supporting   community,   to  whom   it   appeared  as  one  of   the  earlier   attempts  of  northern  politics   to   intrude  into  southern  affairs.      This  sentiment  was   intensified  throughout  the  1850s  until  another  trigger  point  at   the  Harpers  Ferry   incident,  which   involved  abolitionist   John  Brown’s  attempt  to   incite   a   slave   insurrection   in   the   Virginia   town   of   Harpers   Ferry   in   October  1859.  La  Foy  notes  that  while  the  effort  did  ultimately  fail  in  its  short-­‐term  goal,  the  ideological  impact  it  had  upon  the  United  States  at  large  was  highly  significant.  He  reveals   that   in  Louisiana,  due   to   the  sheer  volume  of  slaves   in  proportion   to  regular   citizens,   great   fear   was   aroused   amongst   the   population,   under   the  knowledge   that   such  a   revolt  would  be  unmanageable.25  As   such,  he   claims   that  the  Louisianan  morale  became  much  more  hostile   toward  the  north  and  toward  the   slaves   themselves,   rendering   them   extremely   vigilant   to   any   perceived  transgressions   that   could   threaten   their   sovereignty.   Thus,   whilst   Louisianans  were  less  partial  to  secession  than  other  southern  states,  the  increased  imposition  of   northern   ideology   into   southern   territories   combined   with   Louisiana’s  unbalanced   slave   population   progressively   eroded   unionist   sentiments   and  planted  a  precedent  for  Louisiana’s  ultimate  secession.      The  decade  of  Louisiana’s  progressive  shift  away  from  traditional  unionist  ideals  culminated   in   a   clash   between   local   national   party   politics   surrounding   the  Presidential  election  of  1860,  an  event  recognized  as  the  ultimate  catalyst  for  the  civil   war   at   large.   In   Louisiana,   the   result   of   the   election   represented   an  ideological  betrayal  of  the  state’s  interests,  paving  the  way  for  irreparable  tension  and  the  inevitable  secession.  Dew  highlights  that  a  significant  portion  of  the  vote  favored   the  Constitutional  Union  candidate   John  Bell   along  with   the  Democratic  candidate  Stephen  A.  Douglas,  both  of  which  represented  a  vote  for  unionism  in  a  moderate   sense   of   the   word.   In   spite   of   the   overall   victory   of   the   Southern  Democratic   Breckinridge,   the  marginal   nature   of   his   forty-­‐four   per   cent   victory  suggest   that   unionism   and   American   nationalism   still   formed   a   part   of   the  Louisianan   psyche,   in   a   manner   different   from   that   of   other   more   dissident  southern  states.26  Roland  theorizes  that  the  significant  minority  with  aversion  to  the   former   two   candidates   supported   a   regulated   form   of   unionism   stemming  from   nationalism,   which   would   have   had   little   effect   on   the   state’s   autonomy.  Furthermore,  he  argues  that  given  voting  was  only  open  to  white  men,  support  for  unionism   was   probably   much   more   widespread   in   Louisiana’s   vast   minority  communities,  suggesting  the  idea  of  secession  was  still  an  extreme  concept  which  most  would  have  preferred  to  avoid.27                                                                                                                      24  Spingarn  2012:  207.  25  La  Moy  2015:  141. 26  Dew,  1970:  25.  27  Roland  1978:  391.  

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However,   the   election   of   the   Republican   Lincoln   marked   a   turning   point   in  Louisianan  political  opinion  and  effectively  rendered  the  state  incompatible  with  the  Union.  Sacher  continues   to   reveal   that   the  Republican  vote  was  not  even  an  option   in   Louisianan   polls,   highlighting   the   dissent   with   which   the   party   was  regarded  in  the  state.  This  was  due  to  the  Republicans’  central  abolitionist  agenda  as  well  as  their  views  of  a  more  centralized  governance,  ideals  which  threatened  the  prosperity  and  culture  of  slavery  upon  which  Louisiana  was  built.28  As  such,  the  election  of  Republican  Lincoln  in  1860  was  undoubtedly  the  primary  catalyst  for   Louisiana’s   secession.   The   party’s   doctrines   were   evidently   deemed  completely   incompatible   with   the   political   aversion   of   the   bulk   of   Louisianans  who   favored   a   position   of   sovereignty   and   continuance   of   slavery   within   the  Union.    This   newfound   secessionist   momentum   in   response   to   the   1860   election   of  Lincoln   was   aggravated   by   resultant   internal   and   external   responses   that  cemented  a  newfound,  more  traditionally  ‘southern’  view  of  the  Union,  effectively  aligned  with  the  intent  of  preserving  slavery  at  all  costs.  From  the  perspective  of  external  politics,  the  secession  was  sealed  with  the  Republican  government’s  lack  of   interest   in   compromise   or   concession   to   Louisiana’s   economic   interests.  Winters  argues  that  this  conclusion  was  primarily  drawn  from  the  newly  elected  government’s   refusal   to   adapt   the   Crittenden   proposals,   a   list   of   stipulations   of  southern   states   requesting   increased   autonomy   in   regard   to   slavery.   He   claims  that   this   was   the   first   time   in   the   antebellum   period   that   Louisiana   had   been  unable   to   retain  an  extent  of   compromise  and  sympathy  with   the  Union,  due   to  the  authoritarian  tendencies  of  the  new  government  in  relation  to  slavery.29  The  particularly   harsh   measures   against   slavery   proved   too   great   for   Louisiana   to  adopt,  and  as  such  this  renewed  political  attitude  toward  the  concept  of  the  union  lead  to  increased  pressure  from  state  institutions  to  reject  the  autocratic  nature  of  Lincoln’s  rule.  As  such,  the  external  policies  of  the  federal  government  that  sought  to  police  Louisiana’s  economic  and  political  sovereignty  set  in  motion  movements  to  alter  political  opinion  within  the  state  and  to  align  the  state  with  the  rest  of  the  south  on  a  political  level.    Internally,  the  Republican  victory  was  seized  upon  by  pro-­‐secessionist  politicians  and  media  outlets  and  manipulated  in  the  form  of  highly  politicized  propaganda  calling   all   Louisianans   to   reject   the   dangers   of   Unionist   domination   and   aim   to  retain  the  crucial  economy  of  slavery.  Such  is  firstly  evidenced  by  prominent  New  Orleans  newspaper   the  Daily  Picayune,  a  publication   that   aligned   its   views  with  secessionism  immediately  following  the  election  of  Lincoln,  stating  that  ‘the  north  and  south  are  completely  heterogeneous  and  are  thus  better  off  apart…’  seeking  to   efface   the   last   remnants   of   unionism   in   the   state.30  Caskey   posits   that   such  propaganda   was   aimed   specifically   at   remaining   minorities   who   opposed  secession   in   order   to   ease   the   process   by   which   the   state   could   claim   its   own  sovereignty.   Furthermore,   he   claims   that   most   publishers   would   have   had   a  

                                                                                                               28  Sacher  2007:  54.  29  Winters  1963:  3.2.  30  Daily  Picayune,  January  1  1860,  New  Orleans  quoted  in  Roland  1978:  391.  

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vested  interest  in  the  retention  of  slavery  and  thus  influenced  public  perception  in  order  to  secure  their  own  futures.31      In   addition   to   media   propaganda,   internal   political   campaigns   were   equally   as  important   in   cementing   the   status   of   secession.   Powell   also   alludes   to   the  aggressive   campaigning   of   Louisianan   politicians   such   as   senator   Judah   P.  Benjamin,   who   sought   to   stigmatize   those  who   remained   loyal   to   the   Union   as  ‘submissive’  and  ‘dishonorable’  in  public  forums.  He  posits  that  such  internal  and  direct   campaigns  would   have   invoked   significant   apprehension   and   uncertainty  amongst   the  general  populace,  coercing   them  to   join   the  secessionist  movement  in   order   to   avoid   ostracism   and   disrepute   amongst   the   community.32  Local  secessionists   thus   capitalized   on   the   inflexibility   of   the   Union’s   Republican  government  through  statewide  propaganda  to  extinguish  any  remaining  Unionist  loyalty  in  the  state  secession,  hence  facilitating  the  severing  of  ties  with  the  Union  in  1861.    The   secession   of   Louisiana   from   the  Union   in   1861  was   the   result   of   a   delicate  process  of  shifting  political  values   in  response  to  growing  abolitionist  sentiment  in  the  Northern  United  States,  which  manifested  itself  in  the  south  progressively  throughout   the  1850s.   In   spite  of   the   state’s   fierce   reliance  on   the   institution  of  slavery,   Louisiana   can  be   considered   somewhat   anomalous   in   its   initial   attitude  toward   the   abolitionist   policies   of   the  north,   given   that   it   largely   supported   the  preservation   of   the   Union.   However,   this   political   identity   was   steadily   eroded  with  the  progression  of  the  decade  preceding  its  secession,  given  the  occurrence  of   increased   interference   of   northern   ideology   in   the   south.   The   election   of   a  Republican  president  in  1860  culminated  in  a  rapid  dissent  amongst  Louisianans  toward   the  Union.  This  was  due   to   the  government’s  unwillingness   to  negotiate  on   regionally   based   issues   and   the   resultant   campaigning   of   local   press   and  politicians,   resulting   in   the   state’s   secession   as   a   result   of   the   attrition   of  Louisianan  loyalty  to  the  Union.    Bibliography:  Primary  Sources:  Daily  Picayune,  January  1  1860,  New  Orleans  quoted  in  Roland,  C.P.  1978,  ‘Louisiana  and  Secession’,  Journal  of  the  Louisiana  Historical  Association,  vol.  19,  no.  4,  391.    Citizen’s  Bank  of  Louisiana  appraisal  certificate:  John  Minor  Wisdom  Collection,  1710-­‐1960,  Manuscripts  Collection  230,  Box  10,  Louisiana  Research  Collection,  Tulane  University    Secondary  Literature:  Adams,  W.  H.  1974,  ‘The  Louisiana  Whigs’,  Journal  of  the  Louisiana  Historical  

Association  15:  213-­‐28.    

                                                                                                               31  Caskey  1938:  64.  32  Powell  2006:  105.    

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Caskey,  W.  M.  1938,  ‘Secession  and  Restoration  of  Louisiana’,  Journal  of  Southern  History  4:  64  

 Dew,  C.B.  1970,  ‘Who  Won  the  Secession  Election  in  Louisiana?’,  Journal  of  

Southern  History  36:  25    Johnson,  W.  1999,  ‘Soul  by  Soul:  Life  inside  the  Antebellum  Slave  Market’,  Harvard  

University  Press,  pp.  109    La  Moy,  W.  2015,  "The  Secret  Six  and  John  Brown’s  raid  on  Harpers  Ferry:  Two  

Letters",  The  New  England  Quarterly,  vol.  88,  no.  1,  pp.  141.    Powell,  L.  2006,  "Centralization  and  its  Discontents  in  Reconstruction  

Louisiana",  Studies  in  American  Political  Development,  vol.  20,  no.  2,  pp.  105    Roland,  C.  P.  (1978)  ‘Louisiana  and  Secession’,  Journal  of  the  Louisiana  Historical  

Association  19,  pp.  391    Sacher,  J.M.  (2007)  A  Perfect  War  of  Politics:  Parties,  Politicians  and  democracy  in  

Louisiana  1824-­‐1861.  Louisiana.    Spingarn,  A.  2012,  "When  Uncle  Tom  Didn’t  Die:  The  Antislavery  Politics  Of  H.  J.  

Conway's  Uncle  Tom’s  Cabin",  Theatre  Survey,  vol.  53,  no.  2,  pp.  207    Winters,  J.D.  1963,  ‘The  Civil  War  in  Louisiana’,  Baton  Rouge,  LA,  pp.  32                

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Sample  Essay  2:  Commentary    Title:  Informative  but  not  catchy  enough  and  a  bit  wordy.  Looks  like  the  student  has  turned  the  essay  prompt  into  a  title.    Introduction:   This   introduction   starts   with   a   specific   opening   sentence,   which  brings  the  reader  right  to  the  core  of  the  topic.  It  could  be  improved  by  working  out  the  research  question  and  thesis  statement  more  strongly.  This  would  allow  the  author  to  highlight  the  originality  of  the  analysis  that  follows.  At  the  moment,  the   research   question,   the   thesis   statement   and   the   originality   are   implied   in   a  series  of  positive  statements  about  the  nature  of  the  political  climate  of  Louisiana  in  the  years  preceding  the  secession.      Main   Body:   This   essay   has   a   clear   paragraph   structure.   Overall,   the   topic  sentences  at  the  beginning  of  each  paragraph  could  be  improved  by  making  them  anticipate  the  theme  of  the  paragraph.  Long  paragraphs  could  have  been  broken  up  into  shorter  ones.    Referencing   and   Work   with   Sources:   Not   all   claims   are   backed   up   with  references  to  primary  sources.  For  example  one  would  have  liked  to  have  found  a  reference  in  the  opening  paragraph  to  sustain  the  claim  that  the  state  of  Louisiana  had  the   largest  number  of  slaves   in   the  entire  US.  The  same  applies   to   the  third  paragraph:  a  reference  to  in  support  of  the  claim  that  the  state  of  Louisiana  and  in  particular  the  city  of  New  Orleans  had  an  ‘anomalous  demographics’  would  have  been   desirable.   References   to   the   secondary   literature   should   be  moved   to   the  end  of  the  first  sentence  to  which  they  refer  (rather  than  being  placed  at  the  end  of  the  last  sentence).  The  essay  uses  the  secondary  literature  mostly  in  support  of  its   argument.   A   critical   engagement   with   some   of   the   points   made   in   the  secondary   literature   would   have   further   improved   the   critical   outlook   of   this  essay.    Language/Style:   This   essay   could   be   improved   by   making   the   language   flow  more  smoothly.  As  it  stands  the  argument  is  quite  dense  and  it  is  not  always  easy  for  the  reader  to  follow.  The  flow  of  the  information  presented  could  be  improved  achieved  by  cutting  down  long  sentences,  reducing  nominalisms,  and  by  choosing  simpler   words   and   phrases.   Individual   sentences   could   be   revised   to   let   the  reader  in  on  the  topic  earlier  (e.g.  by  clarifying  early  on  in  the  sentence  who  is  the  agent   and   what   is   happening).   Certain   phrases   are   repeated   too   often   (e.g.   As  such…),   and   vocabulary  within   sentences   could   do  with  more   variation   as   well  (e.g.   …the   resultant   campaigning   of   local   press   and   politicians,   resulting   in   the  state’s  secession  as  a  result  of  the…).    Conclusion:  Strong  and  to  the  point.      Proofreading  and  Editing:  Formally  this  essay  is  of  a  good  standard  with  just  a  few  minor  errors  in  grammar  and  punctuation.  The  footnotes  are  well  placed,  and  consistent  in  style.  The  bibliography  needs  to  be  edited  for  consistency.  It  should  show  the  page  ranges  of  articles  instead  of  the  page  referred  to  in  the  essay.    

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Sample  Essay  3:  Text    

 Shooting  the  Marksman:  Postmodernism,  Genre,  and  Synchronicity  in  Kurt  

Vonnegut’s  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five    Synchronicity   for   Jung   was   distinguished   by   the   idea   that   “remarkable  coincidences   are   not   necessarily   fortuitous   or   accidental…   not   only   are   psyche  and   matter   in   contact,   they   are   in   meaningful   contact,   the   kind   that   produces  revelations”.   Conversely,   Jean   Baudrillard’s   book   Simulations   pushes   back   the  traditional  or  original  idea  of  Jungian  synchronicity  in  the  way  that  it  asserts  the  idea  that  reality  is  a  compilation  of  signs  and  symbols,  a  map  of  simulacra  moving  further   and   further   away   from   the   real.   He   makes   the   claim   in   reference   to  religious   icons  as  an  example   that   “...the  whole  system  becomes  weightless,   it   is  no  longer  anything  but  a  giant  simulacrum  -­‐  not  unreal,  but  a  simulacrum,  never  again   exchanging   for  what   is   real,   but   exchanging   in   itself,   in   an   uninterrupted  circuit   without   reference   or   circumference”   (11).   If   we   place   these   ideas   in  juxtaposition  to  Jean-­‐Francois  Lyotard’s  conversations  on  postmodernism  we  can  situate   ourselves   in   the   mode   of   what   it   is   that   the   postmodern   is   doing   or  perhaps,   what   it   can   be   responsible   for:   “Finally   it   must   be   clear   that   it   is   our  business   not   to   supply   reality   but   to   invent   allusions   to   the   conceivable  which  cannot  be  presented”  (Lyotard  81).  Fredric  Jameson’s  book  Postmodernism  or  The  cultural  logic  of  Late  Capitalism  poses  the  argument  that  “there  is  no  such  thing  as  ‘history’  either”  (282).  Gathering  all  of  these  theoretical  ideas  and  arguments  and  placing  them  beside  the  statement  made  by   John  Frow  that  “Through  the  use  of  genre  we  learn  who  we  are,  and  encounter  the  limits  of  our  world”  (144)  we  can  explore   the   ways   in   which   the   postmodern   reflects   on   or   is   reflected   on,   in  relationship  to  genre,  and  what  this  means  to  postmodernist  literature  as  a  whole.  Kurt   Vonnegut’s   Slaughterhouse-­‐Five   will   function   as   the   subject   of   this   case  study,  and  I  will  explore  throughout  this  paper  its  uses  of  genre  in  a  postmodern  context   in   relationship   to   the   ideas   asserted   by   Jung,   Baudrillard,   Lyotard,   and  Jameson.   Perhaps   what   we   find   at   the   end   of   it   all,   is   that   the   postmodern  becomes   the   vocal   chord   for   the   unsayable,   it   speaks   in   loud   whispers.   Genre  winds  itself  through  the  postmodern,  and  in  turn  we  can  think  of  the  postmodern  novel   as   a   neural-­‐net;   a   collection   of   memories,   synchronistic   experiences,  simulacra,  generic  modes,  that  are  always  already  moving  and  making  meaning  in  collaboration.        Vonnegut’s  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five  works  as  an  ideal  case  study  for  this  exploration  of   postmodernism   and   genre,   as   the   novel   opens   by   straddling   genre   lines.  Vonnegut  writes:      

ALL   THIS   HAPPENED,   more   or   less.   The   war   parts,   anyway,   are   pretty  much  true.  One  guy  I  knew  really  was  shot  in  Dresden  for  taking  a  teapot  that  wasn’t  his.  Another  guy  I  knew  really  did  threaten  to  have  his  personal  enemies  killed  by  hired  gunmen  after  the  war.  And  so  on.  I’ve  changed  all  the  names.  (1)      

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As   Jameson   suggests   in   Postmodernism   or   The   cultural   logic   of   Late   Capitalism  postmodernism’s   “case   for   its   existence   depends   on   the   hypothesis   of   some  radical  break  or  coupure,  generally  traced  back  to  the  end  of  the  1950’s  or  1960’s”  (210).  The  opening  of  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five  is  a  situation  of  breaking  in  a  doubled  sense.  Vonnegut  has  cracked  the  novel  down  the  middle  by  positioning  himself  in  this  way:  we  experience  the  text  through  Vonnegut  the  writer  and  the  witness  to  its   events,   as   well   as   through   the   story   of   Billy   Pilgrim   who   is   the   novel’s  protagonist   and   a   separate   entity   from   Vonnegut.   Secondly,   this   kind   of   an  assertion   cracks   the   postmodern   sentiment   down   the   middle.Vonnegut   is  subscribing   to   a   generic   convention   while   simultaneously   breaking   it,   we   are  given  a  roadmap  as  to  how  to  navigate  the  text  rather  than  being  thrown  into  an  entirely  fractured  world  as  the  postmodern  condition  would  assume.  The  novel  is  both  autobiography  and  fiction.      The  first  chapter  is  purely  autobiography  in  the  voice  of  Vonnegut  and  at  the  end  of  the  chapter,  he  lets  us  know  that  his  “war  book”  hasn’t  begun  yet:  “It  begins  like  this:  Listen:  /    Billy  Pilgrim  has  come  unstuck  in  time”.  While  the  novel  begins  with  the  autobiographical  it  doesn’t  give  itself  up  there,  it  writes  both  genres  out  over  the  course  of  the  novel’s  events.  This  autobiographical  vein  of  the  novel  functions  most   importantly   I   argue,   in   relationship   to   Jung’s   conception   of   synchronicity.  We   are   woken   up   during   our   reading   by   Vonnegut’s   removal   of   the   fictional  curtain  multiple  times  in  the  course  of  Pilgrim’s  story.  Vonnegut  himself  seems  to  be  traveling  on  a  camera  dolly  alongside  Pilgrim  in  sync  with  his  experiences,  yet  still   removed   as   author.   It   seems   important   to   Vonnegut   that   it   isn’t   that   he   is  writing  himself   into   the  narrative,   it   is   that  he   is  always  already   there.  The   first  time  this  happens  is  during  our  first  encounter  with  ‘Wild  Bob’  as  Vonnegut  peeks  out   from   behind   the   page:   “I  was   there.   So  was  my   old  war   buddy,   Bernard   V.  O’Hare”  (56).  The  second  time  is  in  the  latrines  at  the  Russian  camp:      

An   American   near   Billy   wailed   that   he   had   excreted   everything   but   his  brains.  Moments  later  he  said,  ‘There  they  go,  there  they  go’.  He  meant  his  brains.    

That  was  I.  That  was  me.  That  was  the  author  of  this  book.  (103)    The  third  time   is  at  Billy  Pilgrim’s  arrival   in  Dresden:  “Somebody  behind  him  in  the  boxcar  said,   ‘Oz’.  That  was   I.  That  was  me.  The  only  other  city   I’d  ever  seen  was   Indianapolis,   Indiana”   (122).   Synchronicity   works   in   a   variety   of   ways  throughout  the  novel,  people,  events,  and  the  written  word  all  turn  up  again  and  again   in   different   times   and   places   in   the   same   way   Vonnegut   himself   does.  Simultaneously,   this  autobiographical  scar   that  runs  across   the   fictional  story  of  Billy   Pilgrim   is   important   to   our   discussion   of   the   way   genre   functions   in   the  postmodern  context  and  what  synchronicity  is  doing  to  loop  these  ends  together.  If   for   Jameson,   the   postmodern   is   categorised   through   a   fundamental   break,   it  seems   like   synchronicity   is   what   allows   for   a   bending   rather   than   a   breaking  when   it   works   alongside   genre.   Even   though   Vonnegut   has   left   the  autobiographical   for  the  first  chapter  and  set  up  the  story  of  Billy  Pilgrim  as  the  ‘novel’,   he   doesn’t   leave   the   autobiographical   out   as   it   is   looped   through   the  fictional  evoking  and  showcasing  of  synchronicity.  If  we  think  about  this  in  terms  of   Baudrillard,   this   situation   should   move   us   further   away   from   the   real,   but  

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seemingly  here  in  Vonnegut’s  case,  it  moves  us  closer  to  it.  All  of  this  leads  us  back  to  Frow’s  claim  that  through  genre  we  ‘encounter  the  limits  of  our  world’.  For  the  postmodern  world   there   are   no   limits  when   the   utility   of   genre   allows   for   this.  Perhaps  we  can  even  call  the  straddling  of  the  autobiographical  and  the  fictional  synchronistic  in  Vonnegut’s  usage,  it  is  the  simultaneous  and  ‘meaningful  contact’  of  these  two  genres  that  in  turn,  as  Jung  says  ‘creates  revelations’.      Here,  a   turn   towards   the  other  generic  aspects  of   the  novel  becomes   important,  specifically   the   way   Vonnegut   is   evoking   science-­‐fiction   and   black   humor   as   a  mouthpiece   for   a   dialectic   of   philosophy   on   history   and   metaphysics.   Josh  Simpson   makes   the   claim   in   his   paper   "This   Promising   of   Great   Secrets’:  Literature,  Ideas,  and  the  (Re)  Invention  of  Reality  in  Kurt  Vonnegut's  God  Bless  You,  Mr.  Rosewater,  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five,  and  Breakfast  of  Champions  "Fantasies  of  an   Impossibly  Hospitable  World":  Science  Fiction  and  Madness   in  Vonnegut's  Troutean   Trilogy”   that   the   use   of   science-­‐fiction   in   Slaughterhouse-­‐Five   is   a  disruptive   force   to   the   psyche   of   Billy   Pilgrim.   He   argues   that   “War  psychologically   wounds   Billy   Pilgrim;   however,   the   ideas   contained   in   Kilgore  Trout’s  science  fiction  novels  are,  ultimately,  responsible  for  his  complete  divorce  from  reality”   (267).  He  also   claims   that  Vonnegut   is  putting   “what  war  and  bad  ideas  can  do  to  humanity”  on  display,  the  ‘bad  ideas’  being  those  of  science-­‐fiction.  I   challenge   Simpson’s   claim   and   posit   that   the   science-­‐fiction   of   the   novel   is  working   in   the   same   register   as   Vonnegut’s   use   of   black   comedy;   it   bridges  generic   repertoires   and   assists   Lyotard’s   claim   about   postmodernism   as   a  platform  for  “inventing  allusions  to  the  conceivable  which  cannot  be  presented”.  The  nucleus  of  the  novel  is  the  horror  of  war  and  while  Simpson  seems  to  be  right  about   how   Vonnegut   is   showcasing   the   terror   of   war   on   the   human   psyche,  science-­‐fiction   seems   to   work   as   an   assistant   to   this   display   rather   than   as   a  second  antagonist.      We  learn  through  Billy  Pilgrim  that  “So  it  goes”  is  what  the  “Tralfamadorians  say  about  dead  people”  (22).  ‘So  it  goes’  becomes  the  battlecry  of  the  novel  through  its  repetition   (it   is   used   106   times   arguably   transcending   repetition)   and  simultaneously  functions  as  a  black  humor  device.  If  we  juxtapose  ‘So  it  goes’  with  the  “If   the  accident  will”  (2)   from  Vonnegut’s  autobiographical  chapter,   it  seems  that  ‘So  it  goes’  is  the  fictional  version  of  its  let’s  say;  autobiographical-­‐double.  It  is   important   to   remind   ourselves   that   ‘If   the   accident  will’   preludes   Vonnegut’s  account  of   the  difficulty  he  had   in  writing   the  novel.  The  questions  of   accidents  and   free   will   are   important   themes   throughout   the   novel,   linking   back   to   the  discussion  it  develops  with  synchronicity.  Science-­‐fiction  functions  as  a  platform  for   this  play  between  black  comedy  and  serious  tragedy,  between  accidents  and  free  will.   The   sci-­‐fi/tragicomic   aspects   of   the   novel   allow   for   these   difficult   and  unspeakable  questions  to  be  spoken  and  played  out.  Lyotard’s  conception  of  the  postmodern  becomes  central  in  this  generic  context  yet  again:    

 Under   the   general   demand   for   slackening   and   for   appeasement,   we   can  hear  the  mutterings  of  the  desire  for  a  return  of  terror,  for  the  realization  of  the  fantasy  to  seize  reality.  The  answer  is:  Let  us  wage  a  war  on  totality;  let   us  witness   to   the  unrepresentable;   let   us   activate   the  differences   and  save  the  honor  of  the  name”  (81)  

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 ‘So  it  goes’  and  its  autobiographical  sister   ‘if  the  accident  will’  become  the  battle  cry   for   not   only   Slaughterhouse-­‐Five   but   for   postmodernism   as   a   whole.   The  genre-­‐bending  nature  of  the  use  of  science-­‐fiction  and  black  comedy  assume  the  role  of  scaffolding  for  the  novel’s  postmodern  structure.    

   Perhaps   the   postmodern   novel   is   the   one   that   works   in   the   mode   of   the  Tralfamadorian:  “What  we  love  in  our  books  are  the  depths  of  many  marvellous  moments   seen   all   at   one   time”   (72).  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five  appears   to  be   stacking  experiences:   the   autobiographical   experiences  of  Vonnegut,   the   science-­‐fictional  experiences   of   Billy   Pilgrim   our   tragicomic   hero,   and   the   experiences   of   the  postmodern.  The  novel  takes  genre  and  uses  it  to  its  advantage,  straddling  generic  repertoires  yet  using   it  as  a  megaphone   for   its  core  questions.  This  seems  to  be  how   genre   fits   into   the   postmodern   context,   it   isn’t   a   part   of   the   coupure   as  Jameson  suggests,  it  crafts  a  situation  of  bending  rather  than  breaking.  Lyotard’s  conception   of   the   postmodern   also   seems   to   be   represented   by   Vonnegut’s  generic  play,   leading  us  back  to  Frow’s  understanding  of  genre  as  a   field  to  play  out  our  most  important  metaphysical  conversations  on.  Frow  claims  that  “Genres  carry  and  organise  their  culture  and  fashion  our  sociality   in  the  broadest  sense”  (144)  and  then  goes  on  to  quote  Miller:  “As  a  recurrent,  significant  action,  a  genre  embodies  an  aspect  of  cultural  rationality”.  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five  is  an  embodiment  of   exactly   this   idea,   it   speaks   for   genre   through   a   postmodern   dialectic,   in   turn  establishing  the  generic  status-­‐quo  of  our  postmodern  world.      

Works  Cited    Baudrillard,  Jean.  Simulations.  New  York  City,  NY,  U.S.A.:  Semiotext(e),  1983.    Frow,  John.  Genre.  London:  Routledge,  2006.    Jameson,  Fredric.  Postmodernism,  Or,  The  Cultural  Logic  of  Late  Capitalism.  

Durham:  Duke  UP,  1991.    Jung,  C.  G.,  and  R.  F.  C.  Hull.  Synchronicity:  An  Acausal  Connecting  Principle.  

Princeton,  NJ:  Princeton  UP,  1973.    Lyotard,  Jean-­‐François,  Geoffrey  Bennington,  and  Brian  Massumi.  The  Postmodern  

Condition:  A  Report  on  Knowledge.  Minneapolis:  U  of  Minnesota,  1984.    Simpson,  Josh.  "This  Promising  of  Great  Secrets":  Literature,  Ideas,  and  the  (Re)  

Invention  of  Reality  in  Kurt  Vonnegut's  God  Bless  You,  Mr.  Rosewater,  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five,  and  Breakfast  of  Champions  "Fantasies  of  an  Impossibly  Hospitable  World":  Science  Fiction  and  Madness  in  Vonnegut's  Troutean  Trilogy."  Critique:  Studies  in  Contemporary  Fiction  45.3  (2004):  261-­‐72.  

Vonnegut,  Kurt.  Slaughterhouse  5:  The  Children's  Crusade.  Random  House  UK  Ltd.:  Vintage,  1989.  

   

100    

Sample  Essay  3:  Commentary    

Title:  This  title  does  an  excellent  job  of  drawing  the  reader  into  the  topic  and  in  anticipating  what  the  essay  will  be  about.    Introduction:   This   introduction   starts   with   a   nice   specific   opening   line   which  brings  the  reader  right  to  the  core  of  the  topic.  It  is  perhaps  a  bit  long  winded  in  its   use   of   quotes   to   develop   this   topic   further,   but   it   does   an   excellent   job   in  setting  up   the   subsequent  discussion  of   the  novel  Slaughterhouse-­‐Five   as   a   case  study  and  in  formulating  a  clear  research  question.  The  introduction  ends  with  a  strong  thesis  statement.      Main   Body:   This   essay   follows   a   logical   and   well-­‐thought   out   order.   The  paragraph  structure  could  be  improved  further.  More  paragraph  breaks  could  be  used   to   highlight   individual   steps   in   the   argument   particularly   given   it   is   a  complex  topic  and  the  introduction  gives  no  indication  as  to  the  structure  of  the  argument  to  follow.    Referencing   and   Work   with   Sources:   The   essay   uses   quotes   from   the   novel  effectively   to   highlight   particular   points.   More   references   to   the   secondary  literature  would  have  been  helpful.  Not  all  references  to  the  secondary  literature  are  followed  up  with  a  citation.  A  footnote/citation  is  needed  every  time  a  modern  author  is  mentioned.    [for  me,  this  essay  over-­‐quotes  but  it  could  be  a  personal  thing..!]    Language  and  Style:  This  essay  discusses  a  difficult  and  complex  topic.  The  use  of  some  evocative  prose  makes  it  easy  to  follow,  and  engaging  to  read  (e.g.  p  …a  megaphone  for  its  core  questions).  At  times,  however,  the  metaphors  detract  from  the  meaning.  The  accumulation  which  ends  the  first  paragraph  is  perhaps  slightly  overdone   and   the   language   becomes   too   colloquial   (contractions   isn’t,   doesn’t  should  not  be  used;  Formulations  like  let’s  say  is  not  of  the  formal  register).    Conclusion:  This  conclusion  does  an  excellent   job  of  summing  up  the  argument  and  presenting  it  in  a  new  light.      Proofreading   and   Editing:   Overall,   this   essay   is   very   well   proofread   and   has  obviously  gone  through  a  rigorous  editing  process.