Www.hackneys.com/travelCopyright © 2009, Douglas & Stephanie Hackney 1 A Couple’s Survival Guide To Overlanding Douglas & Stephanie Hackney

www.hackneys.com/travel Copyright © 2009, Douglas & Stephanie Hackney 1

A Couple’s Survival Guide To Overlanding


Douglas & Stephanie HackneyDouglas & Stephanie Hackney


Bona FidesBona Fides

• 43 Countries

• Travel by foot, auto, motorcycle, overland expedition vehicle, train, bus, plane

• Full-time, living overlanding from 6/2007 to present

• Lessons learned from our experiences and other overlanders

• 43 Countries

• Travel by foot, auto, motorcycle, overland expedition vehicle, train, bus, plane

• Full-time, living overlanding from 6/2007 to present

• Lessons learned from our experiences and other overlanders


The Big StuffThe Big Stuff

• Travel can be stressful– Personally– As a Couple

• Travel can be rewarding– Personally– As a Couple

• Travel can be stressful– Personally– As a Couple

• Travel can be rewarding– Personally– As a Couple


The GoalThe Goal

Minimize StressMinimize Stress

Maximize RewardsMaximize Rewards


Unique StressUnique Stress

• Her– Children– Emotional

Isolation – Loss Of The Nest– Personal Safety &

Security– Female Health

• Her– Children– Emotional

Isolation – Loss Of The Nest– Personal Safety &

Security– Female Health

• Him– Logistics– Finances – Vehicle– Technology– Spouse Safety &

Security

• Him– Logistics– Finances – Vehicle– Technology– Spouse Safety &

Security


Stress RelieversStress Relievers

• Communication

• Empathy

• Understanding

• Support

• Validation

• Loyalty

• Respect

• Communication

• Empathy

• Understanding

• Support

• Validation

• Loyalty

• Respect

Can Be Very Challenging When Can Be Very Challenging When Driving Through This…Driving Through This…

Can Be Very Challenging When Can Be Very Challenging When Driving Through This…Driving Through This…


Safety and SecuritySafety and Security

• Discuss Your Limits

• Respect The Limits

• Safety and Security Are Always Trump

• You Will Worry About This The Most And Need It The Least

• Discuss Your Limits

• Respect The Limits

• Safety and Security Are Always Trump

• You Will Worry About This The Most And Need It The Least


The Gut RuleThe Gut Rule

• The Ultimate Trump Card

• Can Be Challenging

• No Quibble, No Discussion, No Debate

• No Proxy Vehicle For Unresolved Relationship Issues

• Even The Slightest Little Tingle

• The Ultimate Trump Card

• Can Be Challenging

• No Quibble, No Discussion, No Debate

• No Proxy Vehicle For Unresolved Relationship Issues

• Even The Slightest Little Tingle

Everybody Bails – NOW!Everybody Bails – NOW!Everybody Bails – NOW!Everybody Bails – NOW!


CommunicationsCommunications

• Know Your Styles

• Know The Basics

• Workshops / Seminars / Retreats / Books / Videos

• You Will Need This Skill – Under Stress

• Try To Improve Every Day

• Know Your Styles

• Know The Basics

• Workshops / Seminars / Retreats / Books / Videos

• You Will Need This Skill – Under Stress

• Try To Improve Every Day


Three Most Important WordsThree Most Important Words

• Not “I Love You”

• I Am Sorry

• Not “I Love You”

• I Am Sorry


The Next Three Most Important Words

The Next Three Most Important Words

• You Are Forgiven• You Are Forgiven


Trial / TestingTrial / Testing

• Travel– Start Small, Local, Short Term– Test Methods: Group, Friends, Solo– Test Destinations: Rural, Remote, Urban

• Platform / Method– Rent and Learn– Fail Fast

• Travel– Start Small, Local, Short Term– Test Methods: Group, Friends, Solo– Test Destinations: Rural, Remote, Urban

• Platform / Method– Rent and Learn– Fail Fast


Fail FastFail Fast

• New Pharmaceutical Cost $500m-$1b

• Sailing Cost … Lots

• New Pharmaceutical Cost $500m-$1b

• Sailing Cost … Lots

$$ $$TimeTime

Cost of FailureCost of FailureCost of FailureCost of Failure


Put The Moose On The TablePut The Moose On The Table

• Get The Issues Out And On The Table Before You Depart

• Keep The Issues On The Table While Underway– Old– New

• Fears Are The Most Important Thing To Put On The Table

• Get The Issues Out And On The Table Before You Depart

• Keep The Issues On The Table While Underway– Old– New

• Fears Are The Most Important Thing To Put On The Table


The Mission / PurposeThe Mission / Purpose

• Why are we doing this?

• Revisit This Question Regularly

• Start At 40,000 Feet And Work Down From There

• Don’t Be Afraid Of Changing The Answer

• Why are we doing this?

• Revisit This Question Regularly

• Start At 40,000 Feet And Work Down From There

• Don’t Be Afraid Of Changing The Answer

The Mission Does Not Define You The Mission Does Not Define You You Define The MissionYou Define The Mission


Define RolesDefine Roles

• Discuss Prior To Departure

• Test During Trial

• Revisit Regularly

• Be Adaptable And Flexible

• Respect Each Other’s Roles

• Discuss Prior To Departure

• Test During Trial

• Revisit Regularly

• Be Adaptable And Flexible

• Respect Each Other’s Roles


Lexicon / TaxonomyLexicon / Taxonomy

Mutual understandings

+

Mutual definitions

-----------------------------

Mutual Expectations

Mutual understandings

+

Mutual definitions

-----------------------------

Mutual Expectations


Lexicon ExamplesLexicon Examples

• Shelter– Him: Wild/Dry Camp – 70%– Her: Hotel to Hotel – 70%

• Route to Shelter Location– Him: Go Where No Overland Expedition

Vehicle Has Gone Before– Her: No Roll Angle Greater Than 3 Degrees

• Shelter– Him: Wild/Dry Camp – 70%– Her: Hotel to Hotel – 70%

• Route to Shelter Location– Him: Go Where No Overland Expedition

Vehicle Has Gone Before– Her: No Roll Angle Greater Than 3 Degrees


Different GearsDifferent Gears

• Individual styles of travel– Slow down, you move too fast– Go, See, Do

• Common styles of travel

• Compromise styles of travel

• Individual styles of travel– Slow down, you move too fast– Go, See, Do

• Common styles of travel

• Compromise styles of travel


Get Out of Jail Free CardGet Out of Jail Free Card

• Prior To Departure– Establish And Agree On Concept– Define And Agree On Criteria– Define And Agree On Method(s)

• If The Bell Rings– No Debate– No Questions– No Regrets

• Prior To Departure– Establish And Agree On Concept– Define And Agree On Criteria– Define And Agree On Method(s)

• If The Bell Rings– No Debate– No Questions– No Regrets


Personal Keys To SuccessPersonal Keys To Success

• Personal Space

• Personal Time

• Personal Communications

• Personal Rewards

• Personal Quiet

• Personal Space

• Personal Time

• Personal Communications

• Personal Rewards

• Personal Quiet


ProcessesProcesses

• Talk Through Scenarios– Separation– Ditch Bag / Bug Out– Medical Stabilize to Extraction– Daily Life: Markets, ATM, etc.

• Practice Scenarios– Satellite Phone, EPIRB, etc.– Know Your Gear

• Talk Through Scenarios– Separation– Ditch Bag / Bug Out– Medical Stabilize to Extraction– Daily Life: Markets, ATM, etc.

• Practice Scenarios– Satellite Phone, EPIRB, etc.– Know Your Gear


FlexibilityFlexibility

• Expectations

• Goals

• Time

• Destinations

• Priorities

• Commitments

• And that’s just the beginning…

• Expectations

• Goals

• Time

• Destinations

• Priorities

• Commitments

• And that’s just the beginning…


Common Goals for Segments/CountriesCommon Goals for

Segments/Countries• Establish Couple Priorities

• Establish Individual Priorities

• Rack ‘n Stack Within Available Resources

• Prime Territory For Simmering Resentments

• Maintain Flexibility

• Establish Couple Priorities

• Establish Individual Priorities

• Rack ‘n Stack Within Available Resources

• Prime Territory For Simmering Resentments

• Maintain Flexibility


Tourism vs. Travel vs. LifeTourism vs. Travel vs. Life

• Very Important To Discuss And Understand Your Perceptions Of These Concepts

• Tourism Is Not Travel

• Travel Is Not Life– Living In An Area For Some Time Is Not The

Same As Traveling Through It

• Each Has Different Goals And Outcomes

• Very Important To Discuss And Understand Your Perceptions Of These Concepts

• Tourism Is Not Travel

• Travel Is Not Life– Living In An Area For Some Time Is Not The

Same As Traveling Through It

• Each Has Different Goals And Outcomes


Being The EverythingBeing The Everything

• Special challenge for both parties

• All Roles are often assumed and/or required– Friend– Confidant– Peer– Lover– Booster

• Special challenge for both parties

• All Roles are often assumed and/or required– Friend– Confidant– Peer– Lover– Booster

– Spouse– Family– Hero/Heroine– Admirer– Champion

– Spouse– Family– Hero/Heroine– Admirer– Champion

– Doctor– Therapist– Fixer– Devil’s Advocate– Playmate

– Doctor– Therapist– Fixer– Devil’s Advocate– Playmate


Permission to ChangePermission to Change

• Yourself

• As A Couple

• Your Journey

• Your Methods

• Your Platform

• Your Goals

• Your Rewards

• Yourself

• As A Couple

• Your Journey

• Your Methods

• Your Platform

• Your Goals

• Your Rewards

• Your Destination

• Your Fears

• Your Timeline

• Your Location

• Your Friends

• Your Tribe

• Your Interests

• Your Destination

• Your Fears

• Your Timeline

• Your Location

• Your Friends

• Your Tribe

• Your Interests


Manage ExpectationsManage Expectations

• Be Honest

• Be Fair

• Be Open

• Communicate

• Be Honest

• Be Fair

• Be Open

• Communicate


HealthHealth

• Health Issues For One Affect Both

• Be Realistic About Health Impacts On Proposed Destinations / Methods / Timelines

• Be Honest About And Aware Of The Stress Health Issues Place On Each Of You And Your Relationship

• Health Issues For One Affect Both

• Be Realistic About Health Impacts On Proposed Destinations / Methods / Timelines

• Be Honest About And Aware Of The Stress Health Issues Place On Each Of You And Your Relationship


NeedsNeeds

• Unique needs for each Individual

• Common needs

• Compromise needs

• Unique needs for each Individual

• Common needs

• Compromise needs

Unmet Needs Will Sabotage Your Unmet Needs Will Sabotage Your JourneyJourney


The Simple ThingsThe Simple Things

• Learn From Others

• Take Time Off

• Celebrate

• Rituals

• Be Nice To Each Other

• Learn From Others

• Take Time Off

• Celebrate

• Rituals

• Be Nice To Each Other


Re-entryRe-entry

• The Ship Will Come Ashore

• When It Does, You Will Both Be Different People– Individually– As A Couple

• When It Does, Everyone Else Will Be Different Too– The World Keeps On Turning

• The Ship Will Come Ashore

• When It Does, You Will Both Be Different People– Individually– As A Couple

• When It Does, Everyone Else Will Be Different Too– The World Keeps On Turning




Douglas & Stephanie HackneyDouglas & Stephanie Hackney

Documents

Www.hackneys.com/travelCopyright © 2009, Douglas & Stephanie Hackney 1 A Couple’s Survival Guide To Overlanding Douglas & Stephanie Hackney