Yangon Full Moon

Yangon Full Moon (or any other moon)

Hash House Harriers

16 March 2018 – Run #160

Utterly mismanaged by:

GM JM RA. HASH WEBMISTRESS HASH CASH HASH BASH

Le Pimp Six Dirty Tongues Assylum Seeker Virginal Discharge Little Boy Gigolo Joe

HASHERDABBER HASH SCRIBE HASH FLASH HASH PISS TRAILMASTE GM Emeritus

Six Dirty Tongues Comatose Dr. No (if he shows up) Vacant El Puerco BoBo

HASH HOTLINE:– DON’T HAVE ONE. (In case of Emergency call Le Pimp on 09 250 864 126)

RECEDING HARELINE:

159 23 February 2018 Cock In Cock Out and Blah Blah

160 16 March 2018 Bio Cock

161 ?? April 2018 Blah Blah

162 ?? May 2018 Ain’t Ze Bush

163 ?? June 2018 El Puerco

164 ?? July 2018 Maria Phallus

Members participate at their own mental,

physical and any other risk!

----------------------------------------------

HASH FEE: K 15,000 (give or take a little) ----------------------------------------------

YFMH3 160 Page 2 of 6 16

th March 2018

ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON

YANGON FULL MOON (OR ANY OTHER MOON) HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Who/What are we?

We are euphemistically known as a Drinking Club with a

Running Problem!

The YFMH3 meets whenever the mood takes

it (the Full Moon being optional) and completes a

Hash Run at a location chosen by the Hare. The main objective is to work up a thirst.

After the Run, the Hashers enjoy a round or two of well-chilled beers where the perpetrators of noteworthy misdeeds are recognised (this is known as the “Circle”).

The evening is completed with a scrumptious dinner party (known as the “On On On”) held at a venue that is also chosen

by the Hare, where more beers are drunk and drunk is how most people end up.

The YFMH3 is open to everyone. Costs are usually kept down to K 15,000, which is inclusive of all drinks and food but fees may be increased whenever the GM sees fit!

Hashing is an inherently stupid and occasionally dangerous pastime but some people don’t like to take responsibility for their own decisions. To protect our flabby arses from such selfish idiots the YFMH3 Kennel has a simple premise:

“You hash at your own risk. All hospital and funeral expenses are your own responsibility. If you get lost, hurt, or too tired to go on, deal with it and don’t annoy anyone.”

On On!!

Full Moon Hash Re-Run #160

Hare: Blah Blah Rabbit: Cock In Cock Out

Venue: Park in triangle at junction of Pyay and Insein Roads, Kamaryut Township

Runners: 19½ (Yap Yap only joined in at Beer Stop)

Weather: Starting to feel warm and humid, 30° C

Time/Distance: 1 h 22 min / 8.0 km incorporating one lengthy Beer Stop.

The Run This Re-Run report was provided by Six Dirty Tongues. Any resemblance between it and what actually happened is pure luck and is a result of years of rigorous training of the mind to remember historical details even when viewed through the thickest fog of alcoholic haze. The editor had not made any attempt to correct spelling, syntax or grammar on the grounds that this would interfere with the author’s creative process and would be far too much work for the editor.

I was assigned (of course against my will and of course I could not object) [Ed’s note: The Mismanagement of the Yangon Full Moon (or any moon) Hash House Harriers categorically refute that anyone is made to do anything against their will. Participation is entirely voluntary and all acts committed during Hash proceedings are entirely consensual] to write the hash trash at the very end of the circle after the alcohol level in my blood was too high and all the memories related to the run were washed away. So, this script is the result of great efforts trying to reconstruct the past.

The running trail was set by Blah Blah who accepted to hare after a very short notice (two days earlier) because CICO switched from a hare to a rabbit as he preferred to walk and drink instead of running.

The hashers met at Hledan park- a very small and nice park. As they started enjoying chilled beers,

they were kicked out of the park- obviously due to their outrageous behavior of drinking in public wearing revealing clothes.

The Full-Moon Hash started with a short circle and a shot of some strong liquor- just to stay hydrated. On On we head to the west side of Insein road taking the footbridge and then to the back streets of Hledan. The trail took us a local night market where the FRB Gigolo Joe, created terror and confusion in the souls of the local shoppers by screaming “Running hash” “On On.” His legs were too fast that he went pushing and walking into people in front of him.

The trail was marked in chalk. Some parts were not clearly marked and some others were too marked. This made the Hashers complain for different reasons including reasons that made no sense.


th March 2018


The run continued in a maze of small alleys that took us Kan Street where some hashers went intimidating people at the local gym by laughing and running in place in front of the gym glass door.

While we thought we lost Comatose, someone explained that she left the runners and joined the walkers in the middle of the trail, hoping to reach the beer stop sooner and keep drinking.

The runners reached the beer stop, after 5km, thirsty and desperate for a drink. To their surprise they found the walkers busy buying glowing bunny ears and drinking water. Runners started complaining about the beer stop with no beer. Blah Blah ordered two beer towers and the hasher started smiling again.

The approximate route of Run 159 [Scale: 1: 20,000 or 5 cm ≡ 1 km]


th March 2018


The beer stop was at the Blue Galaxy where there was a local band playing nice music. However the hashers could not care less. They were busy taking a series of photos with glowing bunny ears illustrating a south Koran-like version of the hash

While drinking only water, Monsieur L’Pimpe managed to entertain himself by making everyone else drink another shot of whiskey/Rhum.

The second half of the run continued on Inya road then to University road. A couple of hundred

meters from the intersection there was another check where we found out that Lufer and Polar Bear have shortcut the trail form the beer stop and got there in their own car with the driver.

At that check, the FRBs; Gigolo Joe and 6 Dirty Tongues knew where they were going and decided to run as fast they could ignoring all the signs until they got the end point at OT and CICO’s house.

The On-Down

Le Pimp called for a Circle as the Hare-in-chief called his local Pizza Hut for ten pizzas. The reckoning was that the Circle would take roughly the same time to complete as it would take for the delivery driver to find Cock In Cock Out’s house and deliver the food.

The GM Emeritus recalls things as follows but his memory is somewhat hazy and, even at the time, he wasn’t always too clear about the charges!

The Hares were, of course the first to be recognised: Cock In Cock Out and his emergency helper Blah Blah.

The latecomer was noted: El Puerco was not present at the start and neither was he present at the Beer Stop but he appeared mysteriously at the end when he smelled food and drink. He was joined by Sister Belinda who had trouble staying upright on the run when she ran into some sleeping policemen.

There were several Virgins to the art of Full Moon Hashing: Laura Skidmore and Susan Omernik plus the duo of Digital Shite and Widuri Mustakim. Laura did not appreciate the finer qualities of her Down Down and threw the contents away. This mightily offended the sensibilities of the GM who recalled her to have a second attempt. She claimed not to be able to drink beer and so he offered her a shot of Jägermeister instead. However, that also did not seem to meet her approval [Ed’s note: What on earth was she doing on the Full Moon Hash?]. Le Pimp offered to find her a sexy champion to drink the Down Down on her behalf and so chose BoBo.

FRBs were honoured next: Six Dirty Tongues and Gigolo Joe were out in front the whole way but El Puerco technically arrived at the finish point ahead of them and so he was also included.

Mee Grob charged the Hares for not announcing the start point in advance on the website but was roundly shouted down to cries

of “False Charge.” He obviously cannot navigate his way around the ether as well as the younger members of the pack.

Comatose charged Loofer for his Valentine’s Day gift to Polar Bear; instead of taking her on a private date at the first opportunity that they had to be without the kids, he took her instead to the Full Moon Run. A true Hasher indeed!

Cock In Cock Out celebrated his 15th Run of the YFMH3 … and if one Hare drinks …

Comatose pipped him and was recognised for running 20 runs since 7 Oct 2014 (48%).

Who’s Fucking Alex doubled her and did a Down Down on his 40th Run since 22 May 2011 (49%).

Gigolo Joe hit the stratospheric heights of completing his 75th Run since 10 Nov 2003 (73%). And if one bare-chested Full Mooner drinks … and so Loofer joined him. That then morphed into a lack of Hasherdabbery in the Circle and so they were joined by El Puerco, Maria Phallus, Digital Shite, Widuri, Polar Bear and Bio Cock.

However, king of the Full Moon Run survivors was BoBo by a long way — he ran his 130th Run since his first on the night of 9 Dec 1998 (87%).

Comatose charged Yap Yap for her superb navigation after she managed to find her way from Mandalay to the Blue Galaxy (Beer Stop location) after she missed the start and without knowing where the Beer Stop was going to be in advance. El Puerco charged Blah Blah for divulging privileged information and if one Hare drinks … Blah Blah then charged himself and his co-Hare for being Aussies and if one Aussie drinks so too does Maria Phallus, Digital Shite and Oral Titillation.

Le Pimp honoured Cock In Cock Out and Oral Titillation for agreeing to provide their palatial residence as a venue for the On On On.


th March 2018


Hash Postscript:

The Circle was closed with a resounding rendition of Swing Low led by Six Dirty Tongues and Blah Blah just in time to serve umpteen large pizzas while they were still hot. Post run hydration continued until well past midnight. Thank you Cock In Cock Out and Oral Titillation for hosting the On On On and apologies to the big cheese with the armed guards who lives opposite! But, since you were about to move house, you probably did not give much of a shit.

Announcement

The inaugural Yangon Hash Ball will be held on 24 March. Cost will be K 45,000 for food and free flow beers. Dress code is Hash formal. Further details will be released in due course.

Negst Hash: Negst Hare:

TBA Blah Blah

Future Hash Events:

Interhash 2018 Nadi, Fiji 25 to 27 May 2018 80th Birthday of Mother Hash Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 14 to 16 Sep 2018 Mekong Indochina Hash XX Nha Trang, Vietnam 21 to 23 Sep 2018

ANY NOMINATIONS??? In order keep the Full Moon Hash humming along in its usual well-oiled-machine type fashion, the Yangon Full Moon Hash Mismanagement Committee desires to recruit several outstanding, responsible and enthusiastic Hashers to fulfil a plethora of responsibilities. Barring that, we will take anyone who is semi-coherent, who can occasionally stand upright and doesn’t drool too much. OK we’ll take anybody. Nominate your friend or enemy at the next Circle.

Hash Paparazzo’s Section as recorded by Blah Blah

I am a crane

I am drunk


th March 2018


HASH HUMOUR

Hash mailing list If you would like to be placed on the Hash mailing list for occasional updates of Hash and various other social activities in Yangon, please send e-mails to both:

[email protected] and

[email protected]

Three guys were hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks

it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms, “You have finally freed me after all these

years so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes!”

The first guy immediately blurts out, “I want a billion dollars!” *POOF* he's holding a

printout that shows his account balance is now in fact $ 1,000,000,003.50.

The second man thinks for a bit and then says, “I want to be the richest man alive.”

*POOF* he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over $ 100 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish and then says, “I want my left arm to

rotate clockwise for the rest of my life.” *POOF* his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.

First guy says, “I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth.” *POOF*

a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

Second guy says, “I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl

I want.” *POOF* his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting

with him.

Third guy says, “I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die.” *POOF*

now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

First guy does and after a while says, “I never want to become sick or injured; I want

to stay healthy until I die.” *POOF* his complexion improves, his acne disappears and

his knees don't bother him anymore.

Second guy says, “I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever.” *POOF* he

looks younger already.

Third guy smiles triumphantly and says, “My last wish is for my head to nod back and

forth.” *POOF* he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate

ways. Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.

First guy is ecstatic, “I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so I

and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a

freak in the sheets and I've never caught so much as a cold in all these years.”

Second guy smiles and says, “Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my

wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't

aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed.”

Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head and says, “Guys, I

think I fucked up.”

mailto:[email protected]

Documents

Yangon Full Moon