Year 9 Advanced English Creative writing-description · PDF fileE9D1 e9d1 Year 9 Advanced English Creative writing-description week 1, term 2

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Year 9 Advanced English Creative writing-description

week 1, term 2

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week 1, term 2

Creative writing-description • Year 9 Advanced English

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week 1, term 2


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Describing people

You can readily breathe life into your characters and make them interesting by describing their

appearance, the way they dress and how they behave.

Features such as hair, mouth, nose, eyes, ears and complexion can become very important in

your description. Your character's hair may be coppery, greying, sandy, streaked, bushy, bouncy,

greasy or even strawberry blond. Her mouth may be smiling, cruel, curving, sulky or thin-lipped,

while her eyes may be sparkling, brooding, cold, haunted or soft. If he's a dancer he may glide,

swivel, twist, whirl, gyrate or leap. Of course, you'll probably need to say something about your

characters' feelings: are they joyful, despondent, ecstatic, optimistic or flustered? The details and

the choices are yours to make as the story teller.

Now have a look at how successful novelists have created real-life characters. Then, by

responding to the questions, you will gain a deeper understanding of their techniques.

Description

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Exercise 1

Picture 1: Darcy in Australians Rules, the film adaptation of Deadly Unna?

Darcy

Old Darcy was a little bloke, jockey size, with a big nose, like a beak. He always wore the same

clothes, no matter what the weather—long khaki trousers, a long-sleeved khaki shirt buttoned at the

wrists, and sandshoes. We thought he was mad, dressed like that in the middle of summer when we

spent all day with just our bathers on ...

He always wore an old army hat with a seagull feather stuck in the band. There were hooks

and swivels and lures and little coils of fishing gut as well. He was a walking tackle shop, old Darcy.

Every day, without fail, Darcy would be up the jetty, in his favourite spot—right at the end,

sitting on his tackle box, a rod in his hands. He had a boat, a little runabout, and sometimes you’d

see him in it, turning the motor over, pumping out the bilge. But that was it, I’d never seen it leave

the mornings, and Darcy always seemed to be in a big hurry to get back onto the jetty…

His house was full of stuff he'd found washed up on the rocks—twisted pieces of wood,

glass buoys, scraps of net, shells, whales' teeth, old bottles. I turned a crate on its side and sat down.

from Deadly Unna? by Phillip Gwynne

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Responding to the text

1. Adjectives are very important in the description of Darcy's physical appearance. Write

down the adjectives used in the first sentence.

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2. What is unusual about Darcy's nose?

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3. What kind of clothing does Darcy wear? What does it show about his character?

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4. What is unusual about Darcy's hat? What does Darcy's hat suggest about his character?

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5. What does the final paragraph reveal about Darcy's character?

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6. 'He had a boat.' What is unusual about Darcy's attitude to his boat?

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7. Why is Darcy a unique character?

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8. What techniques has the author used to make Darcy come to life as a character?

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Exercise 2 This description is taken from Roald Dahl's Going Solo, which is the second part of his autobiography describing his amazing experiences working in East Africa and later as a Hurricane pilot during World War 11,

Picture 2: ‘Going Solo’ by Roald Dahl’s

The snake-man

The snake-man got out of the car. The snake-man was small and very old, probably over seventy.

He wore Leather boots made of thick cowhide and he had Long gauntlet-type gloves on his hands

made of the same stuff. The gloves reached above his elbows. In his right hand he carried an

extraordinary implement, an eight-foot-long wooden pole with a forked end. The two prongs of the

fork were made, so it seemed, of black rubber, about an inch thick and quite flexible, and it was

clear that if the fork was pressed against the ground the two prongs would bend outwards, allowing

the neck of the fork to go down as close to the ground as necessary. In his left hand he carried an

ordinary brown sack.

Donald Macfarlane, the snake-man, may have been old and small but he was an impressive-

looking character. His eyes were pale blue, deep-set in a face round and dark and wrinkled as a

walnut. Above the blue eyes, the eyebrows were thick

and startlingly white but the hair on his head was almost black. In spite of the thick leather boots, he

moved like a leopard, with soft slow cat-like strides.

from Going Solo by Roald Dahl

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1. What is Roald Dahl's purpose in this passage?

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2. In the first paragraph, what details does the writer give about the snake-man's size and age?

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3. What does the writer reveal about the snake-man's boots and gloves?

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4. What details does he give about the snake-man's equipment that suggest it would be ideal

for catching a snake?

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5. What contrast is there between the snake-man's eyebrows and the hair on his head?

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6. Identify the two similes used in the passage and explain what they show about the snake-

man.

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Exercise 3 For Whom the Bell Tolls, a novel by Ernest Hemingway, describes the exploits of a guerilla band during the Spanish Civil War. In this passage, Robert Jordan, an American volunteer, meets Maria, one of the partisans. Through Robert's eyes, we are given a detailed description of Maria.

Picture 3: ‘For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway

Maria

She set down the flat iron platter in front of him and he noticed her handsome brown hands. Now

she looked him full in the face and smiled. Her teeth were white in her brown face and her skin and

her eyes were the same golden tawny brown. She had high cheekbones, merry eyes, and a straight

mouth with full Lips. Her hair was the golden brown of a grain field that has been burned dark in

the sun, but it was cut short all over her head so that it was but little longer than the fur on a beaver

pelt. She smiled in Robert Jordan's face and put her brown hand up and ran it over her head,

flattening the hair which rose again as her hand passed. She has a beautiful face, Robert Jordan

thought. She'd be beautiful if they hadn't cropped her hair.

'That is the way I comb it" she said to Robert Jordan and laughed. 'Go ahead and eat. Don't

stare at me. They gave me this haircut in Valladolid. It's almost grown out now:

She sat down opposite him and looked at him. He looked back at her and she smiled and

folded her hands together over her knees. Her legs slanted long and clean from the open cuffs of the

trousers as she sat with her hands across her knees.

from For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway

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1. In this description, what is the first thing that Robert notices about Maria?

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2. What does Robert notice about Maria's eyes?

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3. What is the colour of Maria's hair? What is the colour likened to?

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4. What comparison does the writer use to emphasise the shortness of Maria's hair?

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5. How do you know that Maria is self-conscious about her short hair?

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6. What is Robert's reaction to Maria's physical appearance?

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7. What do you think Maria's attitude is to Robert?

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8. What techniques has Hemingway used to bring the character of Maria

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Describing places

When describing places, you need to be specific. Provide as many details as you can to make the

place you are describing memorable for the reader. Notice in the following descriptions how the

authors have built a graphic word picture from the details.

Exercise 4

Charles Dickens was an author who was concerned with the problems of the society in which he lived. In this description from his novel Hard Times, he gives a detailed description of a typical industrial town in nineteenth-century England and the lives of the townspeople.

The town

It was a town of machinery and tall chimneys, out of

which interminable serpents of smoke trailed

themselves for ever and ever, and never got uncoiled. It

had a Mack canal in it, and a river that ran purple with

ill-smelling dye, and vast piles of buildings full of

windows where there was a rattling and a trembling all

day Long, and where the piston of the steam-engine

worked monotonously up and down, like the head of an

elephant in a state of melancholy madness. It contained

several Large streets all very like one another, and

many small streets still more Like one another,

inhabited by people equally like one another, who all

went in and out at the same hours, with the same sound

upon the same pavements, to do the same work, and to

whom every day was the same as yesterday and

tomorrow, and every year the counterpart of the Last

and the next.

from Hard Times by Charles Dickens

Picture 4: ‘Hard Times’ by Charles Dickens

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1. What is Dickens making the reader aware of when he says 'interminable serpents of smoke'?

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2. 'It had a black canal in it, and a river that ran purple..' What has happened to cause this?

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3. What smell does Dickens identify?

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4. What sounds does Dickens make the reader aware of?

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5. What does Dickens compare the pistons of the steam engine to? Why does he use this

comparison?

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6. Dickens keeps repeating the phrases 'like one another' and 'the same. What is he suggesting

about in this description?

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7. What is Dickens’ purpose in this description?

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Exercise 4

Camelot was the legendary site of King Arthur's palace and court in sixth-century England. King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table are important in English folklore.

Picture 5: ‘The Light Beyond the Forest’ by Rosemary sutcliff

Camelot

On every side, Camelot climbed, roof above coloured roof, up the steep slopes of the hill. About the

foot of the hill the river cast its shining silver noose; and at the highest heart of the town rose the

palace of King Arthur. And in the Great Hall of Arthur's palace stood the Round Table, which could

seat a hundred and fifty knights, each with his name written in fairest gold on the high back of his

chair behind him: the Knights of the Fellowship of the Round Table, which had been formed long

ago when Arthur was new and young to his kingship, for the spreading of justice and mercy and

chivalry and the upholding of right against might throughout the land.

from The Light Beyond the Forest by Rosemary Sutcliff

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1. What picture of Camelot does the author give in the first sentence?

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2. What words convey the beauty of the river?

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3. Where is King Arthur's palace?

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4. What do the words 'with his name written in fairest gold' suggest about the hundred and fifty

knights'?

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5. What impression of King Arthur and his knights is presented in the passage?

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6. How does the tone of this description differ from Dickens' tone in the extract from Hard

Times?

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Describing emotions

It is important to be able to describe emotions when you are writing. Poets, especially, present

emotions through their language for their audience to share. In autobiographies, writers describe

their emotions during times of success and failure. The characters in a play, novel or short story

often reveal their innermost feelings in times of conflict or stress. Shakespeare used soliloquies to

great effect to show the workings of the mind of his principal characters.

Read through the following passage from Quite Early One Morning by Dylan Thomas,

respond to the questions and then try your hand at describing emotions in various situations.

Exercise 5

Dylan Thomas was a Welsh writer whose most famous work is the play Under Milkwood. His descriptions of people, places and feelings are full of verve and vitality. Here is an example of his exuberant writing.

Feeling great!

And on one occasion, in this long dissolving year, I

remember that I boarded a London bus from a

district I have forgotten, and where I certainly

could have been up to little good, to an

appointment that I did not want to keep.

It was a shooting green spring morning ...

The sun shrilled, the buses gambolled, policemen

and daffodils bowed in the breeze that tasted of

buttermilk. Delicate carousal plashed and babbled

from the public-houses which were not yet open. I

felt like a young god. I removed my collar-studs

and opened my shirt. I tossed back my hair. There

was an aviary in my heart, but without any owls or

eagles. My cheeks were cherried warm. I smelt, I

thought, of sea-pinks. To the sound of madrigals

sung by slim sopranos in waterfalled valleys where

I was the only tenor, I leapt on to a bus. The bus

was full. Carefree, open-collared, my eyes alight,

my veins full of the spring as a dancers shoes

should be full of champagne, I stood, in love and at

ease and always young, on the packed lower deck.

And a man of exactly my own age—or perhaps he

was a little older—got up and offered me his seat.

Picture 6: ‘Quite Early One Morning He said, in a respectful voice, as though to an

by Dylan Thomas old justice of the peace, 'Please, won't you take my

seat?' and then he added— ‘Sir’

from Quite Early One Morning by Dylan Thomas

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1. Write down a phrase that shows the time of year when the writer experienced these feelings.

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2. 'The sun shrilled, the buses gambolled' are examples of personification. What human

qualities does the writer give the sun and the buses? What does this show about the feelings

of the writer?

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3. 'There was an aviary in my heart, but without any owls or eagles., What is the meaning of

this sentence?

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4. How does the writer feel as he stands on the lower deck of the bus?

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5. Why does the writer mention the offer of a seat?

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6. Give two examples of exaggeration and explain the effect achieved.

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7. Write down two examples of onomatopoeia. What sounds are being echoed?

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8. What is the writer's purpose?

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Describing the five senses

Good writers actively use the five senses—sight, sound, touch, taste and smell—in their writing.

This is particularly important in descriptive writing. Sometimes we focus on just the sense of sight,

so we describe how things look without thinking about the other senses. John Marsden has this to

say about using all the senses in your writing:

If you're describing a storm, we want to know how the thunder actually sounded,

what the rain smelt like, how it felt on your skin, and how the mist tasted on your

tongue.

In each of the passages that follow, the novelists have used two or three of the senses to give their

writing greater vitality. For each of the given senses—sight, sound, touch, taste or smell—write

down examples from the descriptions and their effects.

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Exercise 6

Picture 6: ‘Jurassic Park’ by Michael Crichton

Rain

The tropical, rain fell in drenching sheets, hammering the corrugated roof of the clinic building,

roaring down the metal gutters, splashing on the ground in a torrent. Roberta Carter sighed, and

stared out the window. From the clinic, she could hardly see the beach of the ocean beyond, cloaked

in low fog. This wasn't what she had expected when she had come to the fishing village of Bahia

Anasco, on the west coast of Costa Rica, to spend two months as a visiting physician.

from Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

Sound: ………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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Sight: ………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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Touch: ………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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Picture 7: ‘Cry, the Beloved Country’ by Alan Patron

The wood

From the moment he entered it the wood seemed full of noises. There was a smell of damp leaves

and moss, and everywhere the splash of water went whispering about. Just inside, the brook made a

little fall into a pool and the sound, enclosed among the trees, echoed as though in a cave. Roosting

birds rustled overhead; the night breeze stirred the leaves; here and there a dead twig fell. And there

were more sinister, unidentified sounds, from further away; sounds of movement.

from Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton

Sound: ………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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Sight: ………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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Smell: ………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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Taste: ………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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Year 9 Advanced English Creative writing-description · PDF fileE9D1 e9d1 Year 9 Advanced English Creative writing-description week 1, term 2