7/28/2019 Yes..and?

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YES... AND?

Written by

Adam Boyer

4513 University Way NE #306Seattle, WA 98105(907) 441-7118Whiteyak41@gmail.com

7/28/2019 Yes..and?

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EPISODE ONE

FADE IN:

INT. COLLEGE HALLWAY - DAY

A bulletin board. Above the school updates and want ads forlocal bands is a FLIER that reads: IMPROV: TUESDAY ANDFRIDAYS. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY.

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - DAY

SAMANTHA(20, hair tied up, all business) paces around thestage, reading over her notes. She checks her watch and turnsto the audience.

SAMANTHAOK. Looks like people are stillturning in, but lets get started.

In the audience are a handful of students. They shuffle onstage. MARK(20s, beard) enters through the door.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)Mark! Glad you could make it, werejust about to start stretching.

Mark runs up on stage where BECKY(18, attractive, blonde, andwearing lots of pink) is busy playing with her phone.

BECKYAbout that, do we HAVE to stretch?

Because I dont really do that.

SAMANTHAIts sort of important.

Becky lets out a sigh of epic proportions while STEWART(20s,dweeby, poorly dressed), stretches with the intensity of aninsane man.

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - LATER

The group is in a circle led by Samantha.

SAMANTHAOk, so for this game were going passaround a ball, say who we are, TWOTRUE things about ourselves and ONELIE. Ok? Ill start. My name isSamantha, Im in the theatre program,Im a big Doctor Who fan, and Ivenever been on an airplane.

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Samantha passes the imaginary ball across the room toANNABETH(20s, homely, reserved).

ANNABETH(cheery)

Hi! Im Annabeth, I uh...

I uh... I dont know what to say.

SAMANTHAIt can be anything.

ANNABETHIm, uh...

SAMANTHAAnything at all.

ANNABETH(getting nervous)

I once was...

SAMANTHAJust say something.

ANNABETHI...

Annabeth panics and passes the ball to Becky.

BECKY(annoyed)

Hey, Im Becky, Ive never done improv

before, I was Homecoming Queen in HighSchool, and I really like stretching.

Becky glares at Samantha while she lazily passes the ball toStewart, who DIVES to catch it.

STEWARTHows it going, my name is Stewart.Im also in the theatre program, Ihave a pretty large rock collection,and Im also a WIZARD.

Stewart passes the ball to Mark.SAMANTHA

Good, lets just try to keep thingsrealistic, the idea of the game isthat anything could be true.

STEWARTBut is true, I AM a wizard. BEEEWWW!!

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Mark mimes shooting lightning out of his fingertips. No onefinds it amusing.

SAMANTHAMark, you want to go?

MARKOK. My name is Mark. Ive been doingimprov for about 3 years now, I wentto Hawaii over the break, and I thinkmy wife is having an affair.

Everyone is stunned.

ANNABETH(nervous)

How was Hawaii?

Mark breaks down CRYING.

SAMANTHALets try a new game.

MARK(normal)

Ooh, can we play freeze tag?

CUT TO BLACK:

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EPISODE TWO

EXT. COLLEGE THEATRE - DAY

On the theatre door a sign reads: IMPROV IN PROGRESS

SAMANTHA (PRE-LAP)The game is pretty simple.

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - CONTINUOUS

Samantha and Mark are on stage demonstrating while the restof the group waits below.

SAMANTHATwo people act out a scene, thensomeone yells FREEZE, goes up, TAGSthem out of the scene, takes theirposition, and starts a completely NEW

SCENE. Make sense? Mark and I willstart. Can we get a location?

STEWARTIce cream shop!

BECKYMorgue.

SAMANTHAI heard ice cream shop.

Samantha mimes scooping a cone and passes it to Mark.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)(in character)

Here you go, sir.

Mark THROWS the cone to the ground.

MARKHow could you do this to me?

SAMANTHA

Im sorry, I thought you asked forchocolate.

MARKThree years. After three years youdecide to just throw everything wevebuilt away for what? Some richasshole?

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SAMANTHAUm, I dont know what youre talking,sir. But-

MARKYou know damn well what you did, you

little bi-

STEWARTFreeze!

Stewart taps Samantha out.

STEWART (CONTD)(in character)

Boy it sure is tough carrying allthese space lasers.

MARK

(playing along)Tell me about it, youd think spacelasers would be lighter by now.

Mark aims his gun at the distance.

MARK (CONTD)What was that?

ANNABETHFreeze!

Mark gets tagged out and sits down next to Samantha.

SAMANTHAMark, are you OK?

MARKYeah, why?

SAMANTHAYou seemed a little intense in ourscene. Are you sure that maybe youarent just using improv as a way tovent your issues with your wife?

MARKThats just where I saw the scenegoing.

SAMANTHAOkay...

Meanwhile, on stage Stewart stands over a kneeling Annabeth:

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STEWARTTell me, whats your name, littlegirl?

ANNABETHMy name? Its uh... My name is...

STEWARTDo you not have a name?

ANNABETHNo, its um...

STEWARTSeriously?

ANNABETH(breaking character)

Shut up, Ive got this.

(in character)My name is De-

BECKYFREEZE.

Becky tags Annabeth out and stands in her place.

BECKY (CONTD)(dry)

Im a princess, worship me.

STEWART

Yes, your majesty.

SAMANTHABecky, youre supposed to start thescene in the position Annabeth was in.

BECKYUm, I dont really feel like mycharacter would be kneeling, sinceshes royalty.

SAMANTHA

Youre supposed to base the characteryou play on how the other person waspositioned. Thats the game.

BECKY(not getting it)

Agree to disagree or whatever.

Samantha is at a loss for words.

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EXT. COLLEGE THEATRE - LATER

The group walks out, all miserable except for Stewart, who isexcited and Becky, who is indifferent. Samantha particularlyis disappointed with the first practice.

SAMANTHASee you guys next Tuesday?

ALLYeah/Sure/See you then.

Samantha smiles.

FADE TO BLACK:

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EPISODE THREE

INT. JET CITY IMPROV - NIGHT

The folks at JET CITY IMPROV perform a brief scene (if theydbe so kind as to let us film them) while Samantha watches

from the audience.

INT. JET CITY IMPROV LOBBY - LATER

A couple of the PERFORMERS file out into the lobby whereSamantha is eagerly waiting.

SAMANTHAHey, guys. Great show. Really funnystuff.

PERFORMER #1(dismissive)

Yeah, thanks.

They try to get out, but Samantha steps in front of the exit.

SAMANTHAI come here a lot.

PERFORMER #2Yeah, I think Ive seen you before.

SAMANTHAI give suggestions sometimes.Samantha, my names Samantha.

PERFORMER #1Cool, well it was nice meeting you.

SAMANTHA(desperate)

Ive actually got my own improvtroupe.

PERFORMER #2Really?

SAMANTHAWere a little wet behind the ears,but, and I dont want to get ahead ofmyself, or hoist my own pitard or tootmy own horn, but lets just say itwont too long before youll see theus up on the stage.

The performers look at each other confused for a beat.

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SAMANTHA (CONTD)Were pretty good.

STEWART (PRE-LAP)And I will smite down upon thee...

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - DAY

Stewart, Becky, and Annabeth perform on stage.

STEWART (CONTD)With GREAT VENGEANCE and FURIOUS ANGER-

SAMANTHAStewart, Im just going to stop youright there. What did we say aboutquoting movies in scenes?

STEWART

Avoid it?

SAMANTHADont do it. And Becky, you reallyneed to commit to the scene, changeyour voice, your body language. Yourcharacter was supposed to be aSouthern Sheriff and you didnt evendo an accent.

BECKYYeah I did.

SAMANTHAFine. Lets hear it then.

BECKY(no accent)

Yall. Howdy. Friday Night Lights.

SAMANTHAAnnabeth.

Annabeth looks up, terrified.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)Youve got to say something.

ANNABETHI kn-

SAMANTHADont interrupt me. And Mark?

Samantha turns to Mark, whos on his phone, oblivious.

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MARK(on phone)

I dont know what Im going to do, Icant get divorced AGAIN.

SAMANTHA

Mark?

MARK(on phone)

Ive got to go, Mom. Im at improv.(hangs up)

Yeah?

SAMANTHAI know youre going though some stuffright now, but I need you toparticipate. You were only in onescene today and you spent most of it

calling Annabeth a harlet.

Samantha turns to address everyone.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)Guys, I need you to bring your A-Game,OK? This isnt just an excuse to goofoff after class. This is improv. Itsserious.

STEWARTIt didnt seem so serious last week.

SAMANTHAWell theres been a new developmentsince last week.

BECKYAnd whats that?

SAMANTHAWere putting on a show.

MARKWhere?

SAMANTHAAt Jet City.

Theres a beat as everyone takes this information in.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)In 12 days.

CUT TO BLACK:

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EPISODE FOUR

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Annabeth and Samantha walk through a mostly empty bar.

ANNABETHHowd you do it?

SAMANTHADo what?

ANNABETHGet us the show at Jet City? I mean,thats like a big deal.

SAMANTHAIve got connections, you know? I knowpeople. Networking...

They take a seat in front of an OPEN MIC comedy stage when acomedian, HAROLD(20s, balding, rough around the edges)approaches the microphone.

HAROLDHows everybody doing tonight? Haveyou ever noticed that when youremasturbating...

ANNABETH(whispering)

So why are we here then?

SAMANTHAWe need to be 110 percent before theshow, and to do that we need a ringer.

ANNABETHA what?

SAMANTHAA ringer. Somebody not from our worldto come join the team, give us aunique advantage. Havent you ever

seen The Mighty Ducks?

HAROLDAnd then theres just fluideverywhere...

SAMANTHAAlso Ive figured out a way to helpyou get over your fear of performing.

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ANNABETHNo.

SAMANTHAYes.

HAROLDYada, yada, yada... Fingerbanging.Thanks, Ive been Harold Steinberg. Upnext weve got a very funny comedianperforming for the first time, give itup for ANNABETH WILLIAMS!

A smattering of applause. Annabeth goes catatonic. Samanthapushes her upstage.

SAMANTHAYAY! GO ANNA!

The applause dies down, Annabeth is alone on stage. The onlysounds are her nervous breathing and clinking glasses.

ANNABETHHe-hey. How...

Samantha quickly realizes this was a terrible idea. Shegestures Annabeth to come off stage. Annabeth shakes herhead, seemingly unable to move.

Samantha gets up to pry Annabeth from the stage.

ANNABETH (CONTD)

Thh-thank you.

Annabeth runs away. There is confused applause.

EXT. BAR - LATER

Annabeth hyperventilates while Samantha gives her moralsupport.

SAMANTHAIm sorry. Maybe that wasnt the bestplan. But were going to have to do

something about you freezing up allthe time. The shows only in a fewdays.

ANNABETHI know.

Harold exits the bar, spots the girls, and lights acigarette.

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HAROLDOh, man. That was hilarious. The wholefake clamming up on stage? Solid. Alittle over done, but still very wellexecuted.

ANNABETHThanks. Im Annabeth.

She extends her hand, they shake. Samantha follows suit.

HAROLDHarold.

SAMANTHASamantha.

HAROLDNice to meet you.

SAMANTHATell me Harold, how would you like tobe part of an improv troupe?

HAROLDSure. What are you guys called?

SAMANTHAUm...

Samantha looks to Annabeth for support.

ANNABETHWere called...

SAMANTHAUh...

CUT TO BLACK:

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EPISODE FIVE

EXT. COLLEGE THEATRE - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT

BECKY (PRE-LAP)Why do we need a name?

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - DAY

The group stretches and gets ready for practice.

SAMANTHABecause. Were an improv troupe, andimprov troupes have names.

BECKYThats stupid.

ANNABETH

Youre stupid.

Becky is taken aback by Annabeths out of character remarks.So is Annabeth.

SAMANTHA(keeping the peace)

Just start thinking of some names.

The group ad-lib troupe names as Harold enters.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)Oh, hey everyone, this is Harold, hes

going to be doing some scenes with ustoday. Hes a really funny comedian,so yeah, it should be great.

CUT TO:

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - LATER

The group are in the middle of a game, Samantha suppressesher frustration from the sidelines.

SAMANTHA

And scene! Harold, can I talk to youfor a second? You guys keep going.

Samantha takes Harold aside.

HAROLDWhats up?

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SAMANTHAFirst off, great job out there, reallyfunny stuff. Im just worried, thatyoure making every scene about sex.

HAROLD

Really? I dont think so.

SAMANTHAYou remember during Questions?

FLASH TO:

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - EARLIER

The group is in a line playing Questions, a game where theperformers can only answer a question with another question.

MARK

Why would you do this to me?!

HAROLDWHY do you have a dildo on your head?

MARKI... dont. Damn it!

Mark goes back to the end of the line. Harold smiles.

CUT TO:

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - PRESENT

HAROLDSo?

SAMANTHAAnd during Props?

FLASH TO:

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - EARLIER

The group are playing Props, a game in which 2 performers

act out a scene by using 2 other performers as inanimateobjects.

Stewart points his prop(Annabeth) like a gun at Harold.

STEWARTFreeze, sucka!

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HAROLD(unimpressed)

Please, that thing is no match formy... DILDO GUN! PEW, PEW!

SAMANTHA (V.O.)

And during Gansta Rap?

FLASH TO:

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - EARLIER

The group is in a circle rapping.

SAMANTHAThere once was a cat, his name was BO.

BECKYHe would sometimes get lost in the

SNOW.

HAROLDWhen he was looking for his large Dil-

CUT TO:

INT. COLLEGE THEATRE - PRESENT

SAMANTHAAnyway, you get the idea.

HAROLD

What can I say? Dildos are funny.

SAMANTHAI know they are, Harold. You just cantmake them the subject of every scene,OK?

HAROLDI understand. Wont happen again.

STEWART (O.S.)We need 3 performers.

Harold jogs on stage.

STEWART (CONTD)Can we get a suggestion for alocation?

MARKMars!

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STEWARTI heard Mars.

Stewart mimes walking out of a spaceship.

STEWART (CONTD)

I cant believe we crash landed again!

HAROLDI know, that old bucket of scrap metalis useless.

Samantha watches the scene with pride.

HAROLD (CONTD)Oh, no! Captain! Look: BOOB MONSTERS!

SAMANTHAGod. Damn it.

CUT TO BLACK:

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EPISODE SIX

EXT. JET CITY IMPROV - NIGHT

A few customers buy tickets and walk inside the theatre.

INT. JET CITY - BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

The group, minus Becky and Mark, wait nervously.

Harold and Stewart bicker over the troupes name.

SAMANTHAGuys, forget about the name, were onin 5 minutes.

STEWARTExactly. How are we going to introduceourselves?

ANNABETHI cant do this.

Annabeth runs away.

SAMANTHAAnnabeth! Great.

Howard suggests another name. Everyone shoots it down.

INT. JET CITY - BAR - NIGHT

Annabeth walks up to the bar.

ANNABETHTequila. Lots of tequila.

The clubs MANAGER(40s) walks up to her.

MANAGERNervous?

Annabeth nods in the affirmative while downing a shot.

MANAGER (CONTD)Hey, thanks again for filling in, Iknow it was really short notice.

ANNABETHFilling in? Filling in for whom?

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INT. JET CITY - THEATRE - NIGHT

Mark walks his WIFE(20s) to her seat. Shes cold anddisinterested, but Mark tries to remain optimistic.

MARK

Should be fun, right? First big showwith the new group?

MARKS WIFEYeah. Sure.

MARKOk. Well, I better get going.

(desperate)I love you.

MARKS WIFEMhm.

Mark suppresses tears and heads backstage.

INT. JET CITY - BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

Becky joins the group, barely looking from her phone.

SAMANTHAWhere the hell have you been?

BECKY(flat)

Out.

Mark walks up, looking miserable.

MARK(depressed)

Alright. Lets do this. Yaaay improv.

Annabeth stumbles backstage.

SAMANTHAThank God, I thought you were bailing.

ANNABETHI was. Then I had some tequila. Now Ifeel pretty good.

Harold and Stewart propose one last name before:

ANNABETH (CONTD)So, funny story. Turns out we werenever scheduled to perform tonight.

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STEWARTWhat?

ANNABETHWere just here filling in for theregular performers who are all got

food poisoning.

SAMANTHADoes it really matter HOW we got thegig?

HAROLDWait, how would you know to scheduleus the day they were all sick?

SAMANTHAI certainly didnt poison them ifthats what youre implying.

The lights drop and the music starts. The group looks at eachother, horrified.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)OK everybody. Its showtime!

CUT TO BLACK:

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EPISODE SEVEN

INT. JET CITY - THEATRE - NIGHT

Samantha runs out on stage to address the small crowd.

SAMANTHAHows everybody doing here tonight?!

The rest of the group reluctantly follows.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)We are...

Samantha looks at Harold and Stewart hoping they had decidedon a name. They hadnt.

SAMANTHA (CONTD)So glad to be here! Whos ready for

some outrageous improvised comedy?Were going to need a suggestion fromthe crowd. Can we get a location.

AUDIENCEStarbucks! Mos Eisley! Dildo Factory!

HAROLDI heard dildo factory!

Samantha glares at Harold.

SAMANTHA

Starbucks it is.

The group gets in place for the scene. Mark spots anATTRACTIVE MAN sitting next to his wife.

Becky pretends to work the register. Mark lazily mimesworking the espresso machine, his focus entirely on his wife.

BECKY(bored)

Welcome to Starbucks, what do youwant.

SAMANTHAHi! Can I get a soy-mocha-non-fat-triple-whip-venti-chai-frappacino?

BECKYNo. Were out of coffee.

SAMANTHAWhat? Hows that possible?

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BECKYI dont know what to tell you, lady.

Mark spots the attractive man whisper something to his wife.

STEWART

(desperate for attention)Oh, no! There are Transformersattacking the city!

SAMANTHA(annoyed)

What?!

Mark is shell-shocked. Annabeth sneaks a DRINK offstage.

STEWARTZombie-Transformers everywhere! Quick,throw scones at them!

HAROLDAim for their robot-penises!

Mark gains a sudden calm and walks over to Becky.

MARKI cant take it anymore. Ive beenworking here for three years and everyday Ive wanted to tell you how Ifeel. But seeing as how the worldsending. I cant wait any longer.

Mark grabs Becky and KISSES her. Everyone takes notice. Beckyshoves him off.

BECKYWhat the hell? Sam? Arent you gonnado something?

Mark turns to the audience.

MARKYou see how it feels, Mary?! I knowyou two have been screwing behind my

back. Im done keeping quiet. Itsover between us.

Samantha doesnt know what to do. Annabeth drunk-shuffles onstage, with a fresh drink in her hand.

ANNABETHHey! Audience. Im not scared of youno more. Because of the alcohol.

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We used to be like GRRR but now webuddies.

SAMANTHAUh...

ANNABETHWanna hear something crazy? Thisgirl..

(points to Samantha)This broad, freaking POISONED all thepeople who were supposed to be onstage tonight. Just so we could put ona show. Isnt that just banana-nuts?!Im gonna sit down.

The room is dead quiet. No one has the slightest idea what tosay.

SAMANTHAAaaand scene!

CUT TO BLACK:

THE END

23.

ANNABETH (CONT'D)