SticksandStonesAdvisorGuide

You Should Have: 1) AGuidefortheSquare,X,andCobraweaves2) 15-20TongueDepressors/Craftsticksperparticipant

a. Ideally,eachgroupmembershouldhaveadifferentcolor

Instructions: 1) SplitupNCSYersintogroupof4-6withanadvisorortwotofacilitateandhelpwiththeactivity.

Oneadvisorshouldpresentthescenarios,whiletheothershouldhelptherole-plays/conversationsgetstartedandkeepthemgoing.

2) EachNCSYershouldchooseacolor,andreceive3stickstostartoffwith.3) Explainthattheyearnmoresticksbyprovidingexamplesofpositiveverbalinteractions-each

PVIisworth1stick.You’llbethejudgeofwhat’sconsideredpositive-a. PositiveVerbalInteractions(PVI)shouldcontainpositivewordsandpositivemessages.

“That’snotsostupid”doesnotcountasapositivestatement.4) Usetheprovidedlistofscenarios(seebelow)aspromptsforthemtobeginearningsticksand

sharingPVI’s.Itisrecommendedtosetitupasarole-play/FREEZEgamesothattheybecomeconversationswithmultipleopportunitiesforPVI’s,insteadofone-and-dones.

5) BesuretogivethemsticksforPVI’swhilebuildingthestickbombs,orwhencomingupwithotherPVI’s!

6) Theteenscandecidewhichweavetousefortheirbombs-thecobraisharderbutmorepowerful,whilethesquareismucheasierbutlesspowerfulwhensetoff.

Debrief: Rightbeforesettingoffthebomb,gathertheteaminforadebrief.AsuccessfulformatforadebriefisWHATàSOWHATàNOWWHAT.Validatetheresponsesyoureceivebysuccinctlyrepeatingtheidea;keepeveryoneinvolvedbyaskinggroupmemberstorepeatideasorcommentonsuggestions.

1) What-Whatdidwedo?Keepitsimple,verybasic-weearnedsticksbycomingupwithPVI’swhilerespondingtofakescenariosandbuildingourbomb.Ifitwashardinthebeginning,oritexplodedacoupleoftimestooearly,ortheyfiguredouttouseteamworktostopitfromexploding-that’sallgreat,andshouldbementionedinthisstep,butitwon’tbethefocusofyourdebrief.

2) SoWhat-Whathappenedduringtheactivity;whatdidyounoticewhilewewerecomingupwithPVI’s.Thisiswhereyoupushtheteenstogoalittledeeper-ratherthanjustreportingonthefactsofwhathappened,you’reaskingthemtomakeastatementaboutwhatwasgoingoninternallyorbehindthescenes,soyoumayhavetogivethemalittlemoretimetocomeupwithresponses.Inthisactivity,we’relookingforcommentsrelatingeithertocomingupwithPVI’sforthescenario(itwashardforme;somescenarioswereeasierthanothers;InoticedthatwestartedusingPVI’sinreallifewhileworkingonthemforthescenarios;personAwasreallycreativeincomingupwithPVI’s).Spendsometimeonthisstep,reflectingonresponsesandpushingforalittlebitmorethoughtwitheachone(somescenarioswereeasierthanothers-didotherpeoplefeelthesameway(validation)?Whydoyouthinkthatwas?Whattypewaseasy

andwhattypewasdifficult).Youmaywanttoaskforfeelings-howdiditfeeltogiveaPVI?HowdiditfeeltoreceiveaPVI?

3) NowWhat-Takesomeofthepointsmentionedandlookforwards-whatdidwelearn?Trytoconcretizesomeofthelessons,andconnectitto“Sticksandstonesmaybreakmybonesbutwordswillneverhurtme.”Whatdotheythinkaboutthatphrase-arewordsreallysoharmless?Thisactivityhighlightedthebenefitsofpositivespeech.Whatwouldtheirrelationships(family,friends)looklikeiftheymadethispartoftheirpersonality?

4) Beforesettingoffthestickbomb,invitetheteenstolookatthefinishedbombandfindtheirsticks.Noticehowthey’respreadthroughoutthebomb-istheremoreofonecolorinthefrontorback?Isonecolorclearlyspreadthroughout,isacolorclearlylacking?Recognizepeoplewhohaveaclearspreadthroughout,asthatdemonstratestheirinvolvementandabilitytocomeupwithPVI’s,agreatwaytomakepeoplefeelappreciatedandincluded.

5) HLHtheexplosion!

Scenarios-Eachtime,afewteenswillbedesignatedtostartthingsoff,andotherscanjoininwhentheyhaveeitheraPVItoaddorsomethingtocontributetotheconversation.ExamplesofPVI’sordirectionstheconversationcouldgo,iftheteensneedalittlehelp

Variation:First,asktheNCSYerstobeasNEGATIVEaspossibleineachscenario,followedbyaskingforPVI’s.Inthedebrief,discussthedifference.

1) Afriendcomestoyouwithanartprojectthey’vebeenworkingonforawhile,andwantstoknowyourthoughts(assignoneteentocomeupwithanartprojectandanothertobethefrienditsbeingshownto).Thatlooksreallynice,howlonghaveyoubeenworkingonit/You’resodedicated/youmustbereallytalented,howlonghaveyoubeendrawing/Ilikethetechniqueyouusedinthissection,howdidyoudothat/Gorgeous,youshouldframeitandhangit!

2) You’vebeenassignedagroupprojectinAPUSHistory,andaretossingaroundideasastohowtogetstarted(assignoneteentostartastheoneproposinganidea,andtwoorthreeothertoconsideritbeforesuggestingtheirownideas).That’sagoodidea/youclearlyknowthisstuffreallywell/that’saninterestingidea,butisitfeasible/

3) YourlittlesisterwantstoplayagameofSuperMarioBro’sagainstyou(assignoneteentobetheoldersiblingandtheothertheyoungersister).I’dlovetoplaywithyou/You’vegottenreallygood,haveyoubeenpracticing?/Goodmove!/Ahh,yougotme,niceshot/wouldyoulikemetoshowyouhowIdidthat?/Icanseeyoutriedreallyhardthatgame/Wow,youtotallydestroyedmethatround!

4) You’replayingwithsomeofyourfriendsinyourschool’sintramuralbasketballleague,andoneofthemhashiteverythreehe’stakensofar-somethinghe’sneverdonebefore(assignoneteentobethenewphenomandthreeoffourotherstobethefriendsplaying).You’reonfire/you’rereallycarryingyourteamtoday/niceshot/wow,beautifulform/I’msoimpressedathowgoodyou’vegotten/keepitup!

5) You’rehavingagreattimeplayingtheFallRegionalFridayNightprogramgame,calledSticksandStones,andtryingtocomeupwithpositiveverbalresponsestodifferentscenarios(designateoneteenasparticularlygoodatbuildingthebomb,anotherascreativewiththeirPVI’s,andathirdasgoodwithcontinuingscenarios).You’resocarefulwhenyouaddsticks,Icouldneverdo

that!/it’slookingreallygoodsofar/you’rereallygoodatthis,canyoushowmehowyoudoit/greatPVI,ifyouhadsaidthattomeI’dhavereallyappreciatedit/Lol,you’rehilarious!

6) You’rearguingwithyourfriendaboutwhichMarvelsuperheroisthebestonebasedonboththecomicsandmovies(assigntwoteenstobegintheargument).That’sagoodpoint/youclearlyknowthisstuffreallywell/you’rereallyconvincing/nicelysaid/wow,Iwouldn’thavethoughtofthat/IseeyourpointeventhoughIdon’tagreewithit/Icanseeyou’vethoughtthisthroughbefore

7) AfriendofyourspreparesanddeliversaDvarTorahduringcircletimeonRegional.Youknowthatshewasreallynervousaboutspeakinginpublicleadinguptoit,andsheendedupdoingagreatjob.

8) RegionalBoardhasbeenworkingonanewprogramcalledSundaeFundae,aimedatgivingnewteensalow-stakes,funwaytoseewhatNCSYisabout,aswellassetupanawesomehangoutineachchapteroffofShabbatonim.You’reparticipatinginthefirsteventandareinvolvedinano-holds-barredgameofSettlerswhenthelocalReBomembercomesovertoseehowthingsaregoing.

9) You’rearguingwithyouradvisorduringaYeshivabyPhonesessionaboutwhetherevolutionworkswiththeTorah.You’rebothdrawingoneverythingyouknowaboutbothTorahandscienceandgooglingtofindoutifthestuffyou’rebeingtoldistrue.

10) AnadvisorgetsupattheMelavaMalkaPoetrySlamandslamsoutaverysolidpoem/songaboutthepaceoflifeandrivertrips.