Young Folks

YOUNG FOLKS

By

Benjamin Anderson

[email protected]

The Pixies song "Debaser" PLAYS over the first few scenes.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DYLANS ROOM - MORNING

The song plays from speakers on the dresser.

DYLAN CAMDEN (20) lies on his bed smoking a joint. He wearsa t-shirt which proudly displays the face of a pug.

EXT/INT. GREGS TRUCK ON HIGHWAY - DAY

"Debaser" BLASTS AT AN INSANE VOLUME from the stereo.

GREG CAMDEN (18) is at the wheel. Hes clean-cut. His friendNATE sits in the passenger seat. They are deeply into themusic. They thrash around. Each of their faces is a deepcrimson as they scream the lyrics...

GREG/NATEGOT ME A MOVIE/ I WANT YOU TO KNOW/SLICIN UP EYEBALLS/ I WANT YOU TOKNOW/ GIRLIE SO GROOVY/ I WANT YOUTO KNOW/ DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU/ BUTI AM UN CHIEN ANDALUSIA/ I AM UNCHIEN ANDALUSIA/ I AM UN CHIENANDALUSIA/ WANNA GROW/ UP TO BE/ BEA DEBASER.

INT. ABC STORE - DAY

The music lowers. It becomes the the background music of thestore.

A KINDLY ELDERLY WOMAN mans the counter. A handsome,middle-aged man approaches. Worn and tired. Five-oclockshadow. He carries a large paper bag filled with liquorbottles. This is LOWELL CAMDEN (45).

LOWELLAnd how are you today, Rose?

ROSEIm fantastic.

LOWELLAnd hows the hip?

ROSETowing little Jason around hasnthelped, but you know.

2.

LOWELLYeah? Hes getting big on you?

ROSESoon hes going to be running thestore!

LOWELL(smiling)

Well, lets hope not.

INT. GREGS TRUCK ON THE HIGHWAY - DAY

The music swells and the boys cant contain themselves.WERE AT FULL VOLUME. Things are getting a little nutty.Nate POUNDS THE ROOF. He air-guitars. Greg POUNDS ON THESTORAGE SPACE next to his cup-holders. He does his best toplay air-drums without crashing the vehicle.

GREG/NATEGOT ME A MOVIE/ HA HA HA HO/SLICIN UP EYEBALLS/ HA HA HA HO/GIRLIE SO GROOVY/ HA HA HA HO/DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU/ BUT I AM UNCHIEN ANDALUSIA/ I AM UN CHIENANDALUSIA/ I AM UN CHIEN ANDALUSIA/I AM UN CHIEN ANDALUSIA.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DINING ROOM - DAY

A picturesque room. Straight out of "Good Housekeeping."

KIM CAMDEN (44). Beautiful. Well-put together. Gives offstrong vibes of Stepford-Wivery.

She sets the table with extreme precision. She chews on ahealth bar.

Music fades as we...

FADE TO:

EXT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DUSK

The building is a massive Spanish Colonial Revival. It restsbeside a lake.

3.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DINING ROOM

The Camden family sits around a long table. They hold handsas Kim prays...

KIMAmen.

They begin to fill their plates.

KIMSo, Greg. When are we planning onshopping for school?

GREGI dont know. I thought you coulddo it.

KIMI dont know what you need.

GREGI dont either.

KIMSo, were just going in blind?

GREGTheyll mail us a syllabus in a fewweeks.

KIMWhat about college applications?

GREGThats not until November.

KIMThats the deadline. You can startbefore then.

Kim realizes shes completely lost Gregs interest.

KIMSo, Dylan. What do you have plannedfor the school year?

DYLANUh, I think Im taking the semesteroff.

4.

KIMYou took last semester off.

DYLANTechnically, I was on bereavementleave.

KIMWhat? For What?

DYLANI told the Dean you have leprosy.

KIMJesus, Dylan.

A beat.

DYLANBy the way, I claimed on my FAFSAthat you no longer have toes.

KIMJesus Christ!

LOWELLIs that even part of FAFSA?

DYLANTheres a write-in section forparents with disabilities.

KIMWhy would you write that I donthave toes?

A beat.

DYLANDo you really not know the symptomsof leprosy?

Lowell laughs.

KIMIs this funny?

LOWELLI guess, a little.

KIMYeah, OK. What if he went aroundsaying you have cancer?

5.

LOWELLI dont know. I guess I wouldntmind.

KIMYou would.

DYLAN(to Lowell)

Whats your Make-A-Wish?

LOWELLI want to spar Helen Hunt in theoctagon.

The boys laugh.

DYLANShe would win.

LOWELLIm banking on it.

KIMThis is repulsive.

DYLANSo, mom. Hows life as a trophywife?

KIMDont be condescending, you littleshit.

DYLANIm curious.

KIMYoure being a little shit.

Dylan smirks. Several awkward beats.

DYLANSo, diddy. Hows work?

LOWELLIm counting the days toretirement.

DYLANWhy dont you just retire?

6.

LOWELLI have to pay for your bereavementleave.

DYLANDont guilt me, pops.

LOWELLYou need guilt.

DYLANWhy you have to do me dirty?

KIMWhat the hell does that mean?

DYLANIts slang. Its hood-rat.

KIMThis isnt the hood. Speak English.

DYLANIt is English. No, its better thanEnglish. Its Ebonics.

KIMWhat are you doing?

DYLANWhat?

KIMYou are a wealthy, white male.

DYLANWhat about it?

KIMYou look like Harry Potter, but youtry to talk like Ice Cube.

DYLANThis is hatred boiling up.

KIMI just dont want a ghetto-personrunning around my house. Snortingcoke and writing rap songs.

DYLANMy rap-game is pretty solid.

7.

KIMWhat could you even rap about?

DYLANI rap about bitches... and hoes.

(a beat)Mostly bitches.

INT. NATES HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT

The room is lit by candles.

Nate and Greg play basketball on a small hoop hanging fromNates door. August: Osage County plays on the TV.

NATEWe have to get bitches over here.You know what these little two-manrendezvouss look like to a thirdparty? The jokes make themselves.

GREGWere watching fuckin August:Osage County by candlelight.

NATEWhats wrong with candlelight?

GREGIts romantic.

NATEThat is a virtue.

GREGIn this context, its also gay ashell.

NATEI cant believe youre talking likethis.

GREGWell, I didnt start theconversation.

NATEYoure being demeaning.

ANGLE ON: TV

Violet lays down her "Im just truth tellin!" line.

8.

GREG(mimicking)

Im just truth tellin!NATE

Stop.

Violet continues a profanity-laden diatribe.

GREG(channeling Violet)

I got the mouth cancer! And maybeTourettes!

NATEIt really wasnt that gay until youstarted quoting theater.

EXT. CAMDEN AUTO - DAY

A central showroom surrounded by a parking lot full of everytype of vehicle imaginable.

A sign reads: "End of Summer Sale!"

Lowell smokes a cigarette. He wears a suit and a name-tag.He looks like hell.

A CUSTOMER approaches him.

CUSTOMERHey. Im looking for a car for mydaughter.

LOWELLOK.

CUSTOMERCould you show me your inventory?

LOWELLI dont work here.

CUSTOMERYoure wearing a name-tag.

LOWELLIm a stray.

CUSTOMERI want to talk to your manager.

Lowell directs a shout toward the showroom.

9.

LOWELLThomas!

THOMAS (45) emerges. This is Lowells second-in-command. Hiswhipping-boy.

THOMASYeah?

LOWELLThis man needs you.

CUSTOMERHe is refusing to give me service.

THOMASIm sorry. I can show you around.

CUSTOMERI want an apology.

LOWELLNot today.

Lowell throws his cigarette on the ground and enters thebuilding.

INT. CAMDEN AUTO - LOWELLS OFFICE - LATER

Lowell repeatedly BOUNCES A BALL against the wall. Thomasenters.

THOMASI dont mean to tell you how to runyour business, but this is gettingridiculous.

Lowell opens his desk drawer and takes out a bottle ofJameson. He pours two glasses each half-full.

THOMASLowell, its the morning.

Lowell uses Thomas glass to top-off his own. He takes asip. He closes his eyes, relishing every drop.

THOMASWe cant coast off the name of thisplace forever. This trend isntsustainable.

Lowell takes a long draw.

10.

LOWELLIm thinking about getting a boat.

EXT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DAY

Lowell tows a trailer holding a boat behind his truck.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Lowell reclines in his chair. He sips his favorite brand ofbeer -- BUFFALO HEART. He watches a baseball game.

Kim enters.

KIMSo, are you going to explain the30-foot boat?

LOWELLI bought a boat.

KIMBrand new?

LOWELLA little bit.

KIMHow much?

LOWELLFifty-Thousand.

KIMGod fucking damn it, Lowell.

LOWELLWhat? We have the money.

KIMIn our savings. It isnt a fuckingrainy-day fund.

LOWELLI wanted a boat.

KIMI can see that. The question is: doyou want your sons to go tocollege?

Lowell thinks.

11.

LOWELLHome-school?

KIMYou are hamstringing our childrenover frivolous bullshit.

LOWELLIm sorry.

KIMIf youre sorry, youll take theboat back.

Lowell contemplates.

LOWELLNo.

KIMFuck you, Lowell.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MORNING

Lowell sleeps on the couch. Greg enters wearing hisbackpack. Lowell wakes up.

LOWELL(half-asleep)

What are you doing up?

GREGI have school.

Greg leaves.

LOWELLToo bad.

EXT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - PARKING LOT - MORNING

Greg pulls into his spot. He drives a newish pickup.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - HALLWAY

Greg walks to class with Nate.

NATEI dont know if this is frownedupon, but I watched Mean Girls, andIll be damned if I didnt love it.

12.

GREGTina Fey is a goddess.

NATEIt makes me think -- what otherovertly feminine things have Imissed out on? I bet Michael Bublputs on a hell-of-a-show.

GREGI think thats the secret toleading a fulfilled life --disregard the random-ass genderroles.

NATEI started using my sistersbody-wash last Tuesday. And yes, Ismell like Meredith Vieira, but Ilike it, and Ive gottencompliments.

A couple of athletic types pass. They are --

RHETT: A lanyard hangs from his pocket. Need I say more?Dickhead.

BOBBY: Rhetts minion. Dickhead.

RHETT...And like -- it looked like adick.

Bobby laughs so hard he snorts.

NATESo then I put down the shotgun andI approached the beast I had justslain --

Rhett and Bobby walk out of earshot.

NATEGod damn it, I hate them. Alwaystalking about dicks, dicks, dicks.

GREGWhen did it become macho to lovedicks?

NATEIts like not just sociallyacceptable, now its expected. I

(MORE)

13.

NATE (contd)seriously get judged for nottalking about dicks.

GREGWeve been peer-pressured so badlythat in our efforts to not talkabout dicks, were exclusivelytalking about dicks.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - CLASSROOM

The room is already mostly full. In each corner lies adifferent segment of the school population.

Rhett sits with Bobby.

The popular girls have the corner closest to the door. Theyare:

ERICA -- The queen of the school. Beautiful and smart with atouch of bitchy.

TONI -- Out of your league.

HALEY -- Physically immaculate but no personality.

The teacher enters. Hes young and handsome. This is ROBEVERETT. He sets his bag on the desk at the front of theroom. Toni approaches him.

TONIHey, Mr. Everett.

EVERETTHey, Toni.

TONISo, have you found someone to beyour TA?

EVERETTI havent.

TONIThats good, because I have PEfourth block and I dont need it. Iwas thinking maybe I would drop itand find someone to TA for.

14.

EVERETTCouldnt you just get earlyrelease?

TONIThats against school policy sinceIm a student-athlete.

EVERETTIs it?

TONIThats what I was told.

EVERETTWell, I was just really thinking myTA should be a dude.

TONIOh.

EVERETTIts just, a young male teacherhanging out with high school girls.It looks bad.

TONII understand.

EVERETTAnd I know that you are not thattype of girl, but there are alwayspeople talking.

TONII understand.

EVERETTMaybe you could TA for Ms. Swales?

TONIYeah, maybe.

EVERETTDont take this as a statement onyou. This has nothing to do withyou personally.

Toni forces a smile and returns to her seat.

ANGLE ON: The popular girls.

15.

TONII dont know what Im supposed todo. Im not even being subtle.

ERICAMaybe you should shoot for guys ourage.

TONIId rather die.

Greg passes them. He takes a seat in the back.

ANGLE ON: Greg and Nate.

NATEThe things I would do to ToniAkerman. Shes fuckin flawless.

GREGYeah, yeah. Shes gorgeous.

NATEI have had a crush on her sincefirst grade. And shes just toonice to put me out of my misery.

EVERETTAlright, alright. I know youhavent seen each other in a whilebut we have to settle down.

NATEMr. Everett, youre too damn prettyto be a teacher.

EVERETTYoure working on a write-up,buddy.

NATEI do not apologize. Everyone inthis room is objectifying you.

EVERETT(to the class)

Yall are seniors, right?

The class confirms.

EVERETTAlright great. Youre gonna get ataste of big-boy literature this

(MORE)

16.

EVERETT (contd)year. Were starting with OedipusRex tomorrow.

RANDOM STUDENTYes!

NATEIncest!

TONIWhat are we doing today?

EVERETTWere taking a test that coversyour summer reading.

BOBBYOh, dont be a dick.

EVERETTIll act like I didnt hear that.

GREGWhat summer reading?

EVERETTHamlet, Gatsby, Wuthering Heights?

GREGI didnt -- no.

EVERETTWell, youre starting off on thewrong foot.

GREGI cant start this class with azero.

RHETTLooks like little Geeky Gregorsgonna flunk.

INT. CAMDEN AUTO - LOWELLS OFFICE

Lowell pours whiskey into a large paper cup.

17.

EXT. CAMDEN AUTO - DAY

He loiters outside sipping from the cup. He watches a salebeing closed across the street:

EXT. DENTON AUTO

The OWNER OF THE RIVAL COMPANY shakes hands with thecustomer. He hands him the keys.

EXT. CAMDEN AUTO

He approaches Lowell. This is HUGH DENTON.

DENTONI hear you guys are losingbusiness.

LOWELLEat a dick, Denton.

DENTONHey, do you guys have any extrabills of sale? Cause were runninglow over here.

LOWELLNope. Just extra dicks to eat.

DENTONWhats wrong? Low sales got youdown?

LOWELLYour presence has me down.

DENTONSo, my prosperity is causing you tohit the bottle?

LOWELLMy alcoholism is completely bychoice.


The class acts out Oedipus Rex...

18.

EVERETTSay to what should I hold consent?

GREG/NATERespect a man whose probity andtroth/ Are known to all and nowconfirmed by oath.

The BELL RINGS. The students file out. Greg passes Everettsdesk.

EVERETTHey, bro. How do I know you? I knowyour face.

GREGNo idea.

EVERETTWhats your name again?

GREGGreg Camden.

Everett thinks for a beat.

EVERETTCamden Auto, right? You work there.

GREGNah. My dad owns it.

EVERETTThats right. Thats right. Youfavor your old man.

GREGThats what people say.

EVERETTI like your father. He alwaysseemed like the only car dealer whowouldnt steal my kidneys if he gotthe chance.

GREGYeah. Hes not into organharvesting.

EVERETTGlad to hear it.

19.

GREGWell, I have to get off to Ms.Swales room.

EVERETTWait a minute, Greg, we need totalk about your test.

GREGYou graded them?

EVERETTTheyre awful.

GREGNo one read.

EVERETTI didnt when I was your age,either. Having said that, I stillhave to report the grades.

GREGYeah? So what did I make?

EVERETTYou were in the 90th percentile ofthe class.

GREGSweet.

EVERETTYou made a seven.

GREGShit.

EVERETTYeah, now Ill probably curve thatup to a thirty or so, but thatsstill got you in the shit-house.

GREGA thirty?

EVERETTYeah. Now, you do have options.

GREGYeah?

20.

EVERETTIm very busy this semester -- gradschool, girlfriend.

GREGWhat are you saying?

EVERETTPoint is, I dont have time foreverything, and I could use anassistant.

GREGYou want me to be your assistant?

EVERETTI want you to come in here lunchperiods. Hang-out, help me gradepapers -- stuff like that. Reallyeasy, and if you can help me outthere, Ill bump your grade up toan "A."

GREGIs this ethical?

EVERETTLook, the county demanding a testbe administered the first day ofschool isnt ethical, either. Imjust trying to help out. Anyway,there will be a ton of cute girlsin here during lunch. Illintroduce you, Ill talk you up --Im a hell of a wing-man.

GREGAlright. Alright.

EVERETTYoure the man.

The two shake hands.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - MS. SWALES CLASSROOM

MS. SWALES holds a model of a human skeleton. She teachesabout the skeletal system.

MS. SWALES...below that youll find thecoccyx...

21.

Greg writes on a piece of paper titled: "Revive William." Heglances at Toni. Shes absorbed in the lesson. He writes abit. He glances back up at Toni.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Kim chats with her mother on the phone.

KIMI hate it for the kids, but I dontthink we can hold it together muchlonger.

MOTHER (O.S.)Dont make a rash decision.

KIMWhat do you suppose I should do?

MOTHER (O.S.)Your father and I went on acouples retreat to save ourmarriage.

KIMThat stuff works?

MOTHER (O.S.)It worked well enough that we hadyou.

Kim is taken aback.

INT/EXT. CAMDEN FAMILY SUV ON A BRIDGE - DAY

Kim drives. Lowell holds a bag in the passengers seat.

KIMI want you to take this seriously.I want you to give it a chance.

LOWELLIm a serious person. Do I come offotherwise?

KIMI know you. Youre going to mockeveryone.

22.

LOWELLPlease.

KIMAnd by the way, its adry-facility.

LOWELLAs in?

KIMNo alcohol.

Lowell unzips the bag to reveal a stash of booze.

LOWELLWhat am I supposed to do with allthis shit I just bought?

KIMPitch it.

LOWELLYou know what, Ive got thesolution.

Lowell CRACKS OPEN A BEER and takes a sip.

KIMNo! That is illegal!

Lowell takes one more sip and puts the can in thecup-holder.

LOWELLOK! How long until we get there?

KIMTwo hours.

LOWELLA twelve-pack in two hours.

Lowell does the mental-math.

LOWELLYeah, Ive done more impressivethings.

He slams the beer.

23.

KIMJesus Christ!

LOWELLWhat would you rather me do?

KIMThrow it out!

LOWELLLitter?

KIMSure!

Lowell throws the case into the water.

LOWELLYou hear that?

KIMNo.

LOWELLThats silence. Thats the soundthat dead sea turtles make.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Greg types on a laptop. Dylan enters and PEGS HIM with aNerf ball.

GREGJesus, what?

DYLANIm having a party tonight.

GREGHere?

DYLANNo shit.

GREGWhat do you want me to do?

DYLANI want you not to be a buzz-kill.

24.

GREGOK.

DYLANYou cant tell mom.

GREGI wouldnt have anyway.

DYLANAlright, deal is, Im in charge ofbitches and bud. Youre in chargeof booze.

GREGHow am I supposed to get alcohol?

DYLANFigure it out, man.

GREGWhy am I getting alcohol for yourparty?

DYLANIm doing you a solid, man. Youreabout to be in a sea of dimesbecause of me.

GREGI can get girls without your help.

DYLANReally? Cause you havent yet.

GREGYeah, really.

DYLANIf youre such a poon-magnet, howabout you invite some high-schoolgirls?

GREGMaybe I will.


Erica, Toni, and Haley have lunch in their corner.

Toni half-listens to the girls, but her attention is onsomething else...

25.

ANGLE ON:

EVERETTS DESK

Everett eats a salad. Greg grades a stack of papers.

GREGAlright, Rhetts test. On one hand,his work is pretty solid. Deservesprobably a "B." On the other hand,hes a total cunt.

EVERETTFail him. I hate that kid.

Greg writes: "45" on the paper in red ink. He circles it.

EVERETTSo, why arent you over theretalking to the girls?

GREGUh, you know. Id make an ass ofmyself.

EVERETTCome on, thats a shitty mindset tolive with.

GREGWell aware.

EVERETTIf you dont introduce yourselfsoon, Im doing it for you. It willbe very awkward.

GREGPlease dont. Just give me time.

EVERETTTwo days.

GREGThats not enough.

EVERETTToo much in my opinion.

A beat.

26.

GREGI have a really big favor to ask.

EVERETTYeah?

GREGMy brother is throwing a partytonight --

EVERETTOh shit.

GREGIm in charge of the booze.

EVERETTYou want me to buy you alcohol?

GREGYes.

EVERETTDo you know how quickly I would getfired for something like that?

EXT. ABC STORE - DAY

Greg stands by his truck. He looks nervous.

Everett emerges from the store carting-out dozens of bottlesof liquor.

GREGThank you so much, man.

EVERETTDont mention it.

Greg loads his truck with booze.

EVERETTIm serious. Ill get arrested ifyou do.

GREGI wont!

EVERETTOh, and I did you another favor.

27.

GREGWhat?

EVERETTI told the girls about your party.

GREGTonis friends?

EVERETTI couldnt help myself.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE

THUG RAP PULSES.

Hundreds of people fill the house.

LIVING ROOM

Dylan sits on the couch with Rhett and Bobby. They aresurrounded by beautiful girls. Dylan takes a rip from abong.

EXT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DECK - BACKYARD

Greg smokes a pipe. Hes alone.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - ENTRY WAY

Erica, Toni, and Haley enter. Bobby and Rhett meet them atthe door.

RHETTHello, ladies.

BOBBYNeed a drink?

ERICAWhat are we talking here?

Toni walks off, picking through the packed house.

28.

EXT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DECK - BACKYARD

The song changes. The speakers blast A BLUESY SONG. Tonifinds Greg.

TONIMind if I join you?

GREGHey, Toni.

TONIA partys going on inside, andyoure just out hittin thecrack-pipe. Not even sharing.

GREGIts not crack.

Greg offers Toni the pipe.

TONIIn that case, Im not interested.

GREGSuit yourself.

TONIWhats in the pipe, anyway?

GREGTobacco.

TONIYou know thats bad for you. Unlikecrack.

Greg laughs.

GREGYeah.

TONIWhats the deal man? Just sittingoutside all sullen and isolated.

GREGI dont like parties.

TONIWhy did you host one?

29.

GREGIt was my brothers idea. I wentalong with it. But then Iremembered that Im antisocial.

TONIYoure talking now.

GREGTrue.

TONIGive me the crack pipe.

Toni takes a draw. She coughs.

TONIThought about filtering this thing?

GREGI like it raw!

She takes another draw.

TONIYou know, truth is I dont reallylike parties either.

GREGHow come youre here?

TONIErica needed a driver. Knowing her,if I didnt come she would havedriven home drunk. Probably killeda soccer mom.

GREGWhat kind of soccer mom drivesaround at four A.M.?

TONIThe kind that moonlights as astripper to pay for her kidscleats.

GREGThats a selfish kid. "Mom, go showyour tits to strange men! I wantnew shoes!"

Toni guffaws.

30.

TONIIts real life!

Greg takes a drag.

GREGI always thought you were cute ashell.

TONISo, you had to go there.

GREGIm sorry. I made it weird.

Toni laughs.

TONINo, its cool. I get hit on prettyregularly.

GREGHow is that? I always hear girlscomplaining about guys"objectifying" them. Id love to beobjectified. It sounds like atreat.

TONIYeah.

GREGMy theory is, if its someiron-jawed asshole with huge bicepsdoing the objectifying, itswell-received. Its all aboutphysical attraction, and thatswhere I see hypocrisy in girls.

TONII guess.

GREGSee, when its me objectifying you-- this creepy, quiet, little guyfrom school -- its weird. You hateit.

TONII didnt hate it.

31.

GREGIt sounded like you did.

TONII didnt. Why do you think Im outhere talking to you?

GREGYou said you dont like parties.

TONII was trying to relate.

GREGYou were trying to impress me?

Toni laughs.


Toni digs a binder out of her locker. Greg approaches her.

GREGHey.

TONIHey, Greg.

GREGLook, Everett wants to know if wewanted hang out at his place afterschool.

TONIOh, Im sorry. I would but Ive got-- theres a thing.

GREGOh, its alright.

TONIMaybe some other time?

GREGIll just tell him we cant makeit.

32.

INT. MS. SWALES CLASS ROOM

Erica and Haley gossip in a corner. Nate sits a few seatsbehind them within earshot.

ERICAFuck Goebbels. Marry Hitler. KillGoering.

HALEYWhat the fuck?

ERICADont ask weird questions if youdont want weird answers.

Toni enters...

TONII found my in with Everett.

HALEYWhat?

TONIIm hanging out with him today.

ERICAHow the hell?

Nate listens in as the girls giggle at Tonis dastardlyscheme.

EXT. EVERETTS HOUSE - PORCH - DAY

A moderately-sized plain ranch. Toni knocks on the door.After a few beats, the door opens. Everett stands at thedoorway wearing a robe.

EVERETTOh, hey! I didnt think you werecoming.

TONIOh, Im sorry.

EVERETTOh, no. Come on. Come in. Sit onthe couch. Ill be right back.

Toni enters.

LIVING ROOM

33.

Toni sits on the couch. Everett runs out of the room. Hecomes back moments later wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM

Everett stirs a pot.

TONIWhat are you cooking?

EVERETTJust a little meth.

TONIOh yeah?

EVERETTTeachers salary, you know?

TONII do.

EVERETTWheres Greg?

TONIHe couldnt come.

EVERETTWhy?

TONIUh -- hes grounded, I think.

EVERETTFor what?

TONIDidnt say.

EVERETTToo bad. You want something todrink?

TONIIm fine.

EVERETTHave you tried "Old Rasputin?"

TONINever heard of it.

34.

EVERETTOh my God. Youre trying one rightnow.

Everett grabs a beer out of the fridge and carries it toToni. He sits beside her. She sips it.

EVERETTYou like it?

TONIIm not a beer-person.

She hands it back to Everett. He sips it.

TONIWheres your girlfriend?

EVERETTPortland.

TONIWhats she doing in Portland?

EVERETTWho knows? You smoke?

Everett takes out a pack of cigarettes. He hands one toToni.

TONII like smoking.

(Everett lights her cigarette)I think its the coolest way ofgetting cancer.

EVERETTI dont know. Fuckin everythinggives you cancer. The sun, thewater -- hell, half of thetreatments for cancer give youcancer. Fuckin cellphones give youcancer. Michael Douglas got cancerjust from being an unselfish lover.

The pot BOILS OVER.

EVERETTShit, shit, shit!

Everett turns off the stove and blows on the boiling water.He gets it under control. He strains the noodles. He stirscheese in. He dishes the macaroni into two bowls. He carriesone bowl to Toni. She takes a bite.

35.

EVERETTYou like it?

TONILove it.

EVERETTThank you. Some times I mix baconin. If my friends are reallyhungover --

Toni leans into Everett.

EVERETTWhat are you doing?

She kisses him. He draws back.

TONIIm sorry.

EVERETTWhat was that?

TONII thought youd like it.

EVERETTArent you with Greg?

TONINo.

EVERETTAre you leading him on?

TONII dont know.

Everett walks into the kitchen and leans on the sink.

EVERETTThis can never happen. Me and you.It just cant. Alright?

TONII know.

EVERETTWhy cant you just give guys yourown age a shot?

36.

TONITheyre not mature.

EVERETTGreg is. Hes a good guy.

TONII know.

EVERETTWell, then why arent giving him asnowballs chance?

TONII dont know.

EVERETTGive him a chance, Toni. Do thatfor me.

Toni gathers her things and heads for the door.

EVERETTHey, Toni. If you could keep thiswhole thing between us --

TONISure.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - EVERETTS CLASSROOM

Haley and Erica occupy their corner.

HALEYFuck Raphael. Marry Donatello. KillMichelangelo.

ERICAHow can you kill the man whopainted the Sistine Chapel?

HALEYOh, you meant the artists?

ERICANot the turtles.

HALEYNo. Gross. I dont fuck old men.

37.

ERICAYou do fuck turtles?

A beat.

HALEYNinja turtles.

Toni joins them.ERICA

Hey, sweetie.

HALEYHow did it go?

TONIIt was weird.

Greg approaches Toni.

GREGHey, uh, Toni.

TONIHey.

GREGUm, Im going to Pisgah thisSaturday.

TONICool.

GREGYeah, uh, I was wondering if youwanted to go too. Like hangout.

Haley and Erica cant help but giggle at his awkwardproposal.

Greg turns to leave, red-faced and defeated.

GREGIm sorry.

TONIGreg.

He turns to Toni.

38.

TONIId like to go.

Haley and Erica shoot Toni confused looks.

GREGOh, OK. Sweet.

TONIYeah.

GREGOK. Well, Ill see you then.

Greg leaves.

HALEYWhat happened to you angling forEveretts dick?

TONIGregs a sweet guy. Im not goingto blow him off.

ERICAYou are a weird fucking person.

EXT. TRAIL - DAY

Greg and Toni hike along. On each side of the trail is denseforest.

GREGMy parents used to bring us up hereon vacation.

TONIWhat is this place?

GREGCourthouse Falls.

TONII really like it. Its -- rustic.

GREGYou havent seen anything yet.

39.

EXT. COURTHOUSE FALLS - DAY

A 50-foot waterfall. The surrounding area is mostly rockscovered in the greenest of vegetation. The falls rests in asecluded cove. No people or signs of people. Pristinenature.

Greg sloshes into the pool of water. He submerges himself upto his chest.

GREGCome on.

TONIIs it cold?

Toni dips her toe in.

TONIYes. Holy shit, yes.

Greg laughs.

GREGJust dive in. Youll get used toit.

TONINo.

GREGCome on.

TONINo.

GREGIts no fun watching me enjoy thewater.

TONIIts no fun contractinghypothermia.

Greg backstrokes towards the cascading water. We focus onhim. Toni drifts out of shot. Greg relaxes. He closes hiseyes. His is the face of tranquility.

Toni leaps in from a rock. She displaces a great deal ofwater. The WATER SPLASHES Greg. His eyes open. He laughs.

40.

TONIYep, I cant breathe so good.

Toni treads water.

GREGYoull warm up.

Greg swims toward the base of the falls. Toni follows. Theycrawl behind the waterfall.

BEHIND THE WATERFALL

Greg sticks his arm through. Toni copies.

SIDE-PATH

Greg and Toni follow a path to the top of the falls.

They cross a stream. Toni slips and falls to a knee. Greggrabs her hand. He holds it as they inch to the other side.

They reach a ledge which overlooks the base of thewaterfall. They walk out on it. They survey the area below.

TONIIts beautiful.

Greg jumps off the ledge. Toni screams.He lands in the water with a great SPLASH.

He floats on his back and smiles at Toni. He closes his eyesand returns to his trance of tranquility.

He is jarred conscious by a SPLASH. Toni emerges, smiling.She pecks him on the cheek and walks out of the water. Gregwatches with a mix of awe and attraction.

INT. GREGS TRUCK ON THE ROAD - NIGHT

Toni smokes a cigarette as Greg drives.

TONII feel like I didnt know you untillike -- very recently. When did youstart talking?

GREGUh, I havent really.

41.

TONISo, its just me youre talking to?

GREGDo you feel special?

TONII dont get it. Youre like --funny. Why do you keep to yourself?

GREGI dont know.

TONIYou should share you with theworld.

(half-joking)And you know, now that were dating--

GREGDating?

TONIYou took me on a family fuckingvacation. Dating.

GREGTo be fair, I dont even like myfamily.

TONIThat sucks.

GREGOne time when we were little, Istabbed my brother with apitchfork.

TONIWhy?

GREGNo good reason. Cause he wasthere.

TONIThats some We Need to Talk AboutKevin shit.

42.

GREGWe were boys. It was horseplay.

TONIHorses dont assault each otherwith deadly weapons.

Greg chuckles.

GREGI want you to listen to something.

Greg presses a button on his stereo. "King of Carrot FlowersPt. 1" plays.

TONI(re: King of Carrot Flowers)

What is that?

GREGNeutral Milk Hotel.

TONIWhat the hell is that?

GREGIts an indie band.

TONII kinda like it.

GREGYeah?

TONIThe lyrics are a littleoff-putting.

GREGA lot of it deals with depression.

TONIWhere do you find music like this?

GREGI dont know.

TONIBurn me a copy.

The truck pulls to the curb outside...

TONIS HOUSE

43.

Greg ejects the CD and hands it to Toni.GREG

You can have it.

TONIThanks.

MONTAGE:

INT. NEW HORIZONS FAMILY COUNSELING - SUITE - MORNING

Kim walks through the suite, brushing her teeth. She findsLowell passed-out on the couch. He clutches a bottle ofAbsolut.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - RAILROAD TRACKS - DAY

Toni tip-toes on the tracks as if shes on the high-beam.Greg walks beside her, holding her hand to help maintain herbalance.


Kim and Lowell eat alone in silence.

EXT. DECREPIT LITTLE LEAGUE FIELD - DAY

All grown over with grass and weeds. Only small patches ofdirt remain. The four bases stick-out from the grass. Spentbeer cans pepper the field.

Toni tosses a beer can at Greg. Some beer splashes on him.He wipes it away, laughing


Lowell sits passively in his chair. Kim barks at him.

EXT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DOCK - NIGHT

Erica and Dylan smoke pot out of Gregs pipe. Greg and Toniuntie the boat.

44.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - STUDY - DAY

Kim pours over divorce papers. She stuffs them into herpurse.

EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY

A small town. Law practices, drug stores, and barber shops.

Greg and Toni cruise through. Tonis feet dangle out thewindow.

EXT. BOAT ON THE LAKE - DAY

A shirtless Lowell wears a beer-helmet. He presses thevessel for all its worth.

EXT. ANTIQUE STORE - DAY

Greg browses a section of records. Beside him rests adisplay of china.

Toni sneaks up and grabs him. Startled, he nearly knocksover the china.

She wraps him up and kisses his cheek. Greg returns thefavor to her lips.

He smiles and returns to the records.

Behind him, Toni herself cracks a smile.

INT. CAMDEN AUTO - LOWELLS OFFICE

Thomas speaks to Lowell, but Lowells mind is elsewhere.

EXT. FIELD - NIGHT

A bonfire rages. Greg sits on the bed of his truck, armdraped around Toni.

Erica and Dylan stand by the fire.

DYLANWanna see something?

45.

ERICAPlease.

Dylan grabs several cans of bug-spray out of the truck andtosses them in the fire.

DYLANJust wait.

GREGDylan, what did you throw in thefire?

DYLANBug spray.

Greg sprints over and pulls Erica and Dylan away from thefire.

The cans of bug-spray EXPLODE VIOLENTLY in quick succession.

END MONTAGE.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - KITCHEN - 3 AM

Kim wears a robe and slippers. She runs a glass under thetap.

Greg stumbles in, eyes red as a sunburn.

KIMWhere have you been?

GREGI was with Toni.

KIMWhos he?

Greg belly-laughs.

GREGA woman.

KIM(studying Gregs demeanor)

Whats wrong with you?

GREGI asked you first.

46.

KIMNo, you didnt.

Greg chuckles idiotically at her words.

KIMAre you --

Greg forces a high-five upon Kim.

GREGGood game.

He stumbles out of the room.

Kim places her water on the counter, horrified by thebehavior of her golden child.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - GREGS ROOM - NIGHT

Toni, Greg and Nate play Guitar Hero. Nates phone RINGS.The ring-tone is Nessun Dorma.

NATEIts Nana. Probably urgent.

(answering)Yes, Nana? OK. Alright. Ill beright over.

GREGWhats wrong?

NATEShes seeing the ghost of PaulyShore again.

GREGIs he dead?

TONII dont think so.

NATEAre you shitting me?

GREGNo.

NATEThen whos walking around Nanashouse?

47.

GREGId probably go find that out.

NATEShit!

Nate sprints out of the room. Greg laughs.

TONIJesus Christ, hes so weird.

GREGI know.

TONIIm serious. How do you toleratehim?

GREGI love Nate.

TONII know you do. But hes just not --normal, I guess.

GREGWho is "normal?"

TONIThe normal people.

GREGOh, you mean like Rhett and Bobby?

TONIIts just -- youre a really coolguy, and hes just kinda -- not.

GREGHes funny.

TONINo.

GREGHe is. Hes got that goofy,charming thing going on.

TONIHe does not.

48.

GREGI think hes great.

TONIThere is nothing redeeming abouthim.

GREGThats not true.

TONIName one thing.

GREGI just named two.

TONIThey were untrue.

GREGLook, I cant make you like him.You cant make me not like him.

TONII dont mean to come off assuperficial or snotty, but I cantbe seen with Nate. It would throwoff the whole social hierarchy ofschool. That sounded so bitchy --

GREGNo, no. I mean, I wish you feltdifferently, but theres nothingsaying my friends have to beyours.

TONII dont know if you realize what Igetting at exactly. I want you tobe around me a lot. Like at alltimes during school.

GREGI know.

TONIThat means youre not going to bearound him.

GREGYeah, but well still chill outsideof school.

49.

TONIGood. I really dont want to messup your friendship.

GREGI know.


Nate grabs a binder out of his locker. He closes the door.Greg stands beside him.

NATEWhats up, man?

GREGHey. Uh, Toni and I were talkingthe other night.

NATEYeah?

GREGYeah, um, shes just really wantingmore one-on-one time with me.

NATEUh-huh.

GREGLike, when you arent there.

NATEI understand.

GREGLike at all times during school.And weekends. And holidays.

NATEThats pretty much all the time wehang out.

GREGWell still chill after school.

NATEYoure ditching me, man.

GREGNo. Toni just wants some spaceevery once in while.

50.

NATEBro-Code. Bros before hoes.

GREGI want both. A bro and a hoe.

NATEYoure fucking ditching me for agirl who wouldnt talk to you threemonths ago.

GREGDude, its not personal.

NATEI have stuck with you your wholelife. Ive never cared if you werepopular or if your face wasattractive. I have stuck with you.And youre throwing that awaybecause some hot girl picked you asthe flavor-of-the-month?

GREGYoure my best-friend, Nate. Idont want to ruin that.

NATEWhy are you letting a girl comebetween us?

GREGShes not coming between us.

NATESo, youre saying this was youridea?

GREGNo.

NATEThen what? Why are you fuckingcasting me out?

GREGToni is worried about herreputation.

NATEOh my fucking God! Youre soconcerned with protecting herfragile ego that youre justpushing me aside?

51.

GREGIm not pushing you aside. I stillwant to be friends.

NATEOnly in a way thats convenient forToni.

GREGNot true.

NATEShes not even into you.

GREGCome on, Nate.

NATEShes using you to get to Everett.

GREGI know youre upset, but this isbeneath you, Nate.

NATEI heard her talking to her friends.Shes bad news, man.

Rhett and Bobby approach them.

RHETTLook, dude. Look. Its gay Nate.Its Gate!

They CHUCKLE idiotically. A mob of students laugh with them.

NATEHello to you, handsome.

RHETTDid you hear what that faggotcalled me? He called me "handsome."Fuckin fag.

NATEIt was a compliment. Take it.

RHETTI bet you take it.

Bobby is puzzled by the remark. No one laughs. Rhettrecovers.

52.

RHETT(to the mob )

Penis -- in his ass. Thats what Imeant.

(to Nate)You get butt-fucked. Because youregay.

Bobby CHORTLES.

NATEThank you for spelling that out.

RHETTI didnt do it for you.

NATEThis was a constructive chat. Maybenext time we can do more than chat.

Rhett PUNCHES Nate. He CRASHES INTO THE LOCKER.

RHETTYou calling me queer, you fuckinfaggot --

Greg charges Rhett. He grabs him and SLAMS HIS HEAD into thelocker repeatedly. He PUNCHES Rhett several times. Bloodpours from Rhetts nose.

GREGPick on fags your own size.

Nate leaves without a word.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - PRINCIPALS OFFICE

A placard on the desk reads: "Dr. Raymond Terrence Young."

The walls are adorned with sports medals and pictures ofgymnastics. A shelf holds a half-dozen trophies.

Behind the desk sits the good doctor, RAY YOUNG. He readsthe incident report. Greg sits in front him.

RAYDid you really say that? "Pick onfags your own size."

GREGYes.

53.

RAYTypically, I dont condoneviolence. But thats bad-ass. Idhigh-five you if there werent astudent-faculty six-inch rule.

GREGThank you.

RAYUnfortunately, we do have azero-tolerance policy towardsfighting, and the best I can do isten-days detention.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - KITCHEN

Toni sits at the table, drawing on a legal pad. Greg craftsa sandwich. He pauses.

GREGYou know what I forgot? The Cajun.I left the Cajun in my truck. Howdo I forget the Cajun?

TONIAre we talking like an actualCajun?

GREGNo. Were talking seasoning.

(leaving the room)Though, I do also have JamesCarville ball-gagged in my truck.

A few beats later, Kim enters, towing a few grocery bags.

TONIHey, I dont think weve met. ImToni.

KIMI thought so.

Kim places down the bags and begins restocking the shelves.

TONIIts nice to meet you.

KIMHe talks about you some.

54.

TONIYeah?

KIMIm surprised it took this long toput a name to a face.

TONI(smiling)

I guess hes ashamed of me.

KIMCan I ask you a question?

TONISure.

KIMWhere do you see this relationshipgoing?

TONIExcuse me?

KIMYou and my son. What are youintentions?

TONIUh... I guess I havent thoughtabout it.

KIMYoure a very pretty girl, Toni.

TONIThank you.

KIMWhy did you pick my son?

TONIGreg is a great guy.

KIMSure. Yeah. Yeah, he is. But youdont strike me as the type thatslooking for a good guy.

TONIIm sorry. I dont if Im following--

55.

KIMI was your age -- not too long ago.And being a good guy sure as hellwasnt a selling point to me backthen.

TONII think youre misjudging me.

KIMYeah?

TONIYeah.

KIMLook, I know youre not reallyinterested in my boy.

TONIThats not true.

KIMYeah, it is. I can see it all overyou. Youre using him. For whatpurpose, I dont know. But heresthe thing, hes not interest inyou, either. You know what you meanto him? You mean drugs. You meanalcohol. And you probably mean sex.But thats it. Everythingtemporary. He doesnt really thinkyoure smart or funny, he likesyour hair.

Greg enters, holding a can of Cajun seasoning.GREG

(setting down the seasoning)James says "Hi."

(a beat)So, what are you two talking about?

KIMYou know girls. Always gossiping.

GREGWell, I hope not about me.

56.

INT. TONIS CAR ON THE ROAD - NIGHT

Greg sits in the passenger seat.

TONII want you to hear something.

Toni selects a song on her iPod. A Mumford and Sons songplays softly on the speakers.

GREG(laughing)

Mumford and Sons.

TONII thought youd like it.

Greg sighs.

GREGIts just -- they only have onesong.

TONIWhat?

GREGEvery single one of their songssounds the same. Its just somefucker whaling on a banjo andscreaming.

TONIHow come they win Grammys?

GREGThe Grammys are a joke. Mumfordand Sons is good music for peoplewho like bad music.

TONIYou think I like bad music?

GREGNot intentionally.

TONISo, youre saying I listen to badmusic because Im too stupid tounderstand good music.

57.

GREGNo.

TONI(Bohn Eye-Vuhr)

Im sorry I dont listen to BonIver.

GREG(correcting)

Bon Iver.

TONIYoure so God damned smug.

GREGIm sorry that I offended you.

TONITake the high ground.

GREGTheres no high ground.

TONIYouve taken it.

GREGWere on the same level.

TONIThen how come your opinion is factand mine is dumb.

GREGIts not my opinion.

TONISo, just objectively I am fuckingretarded?

GREGToni, I never said you were stupid.

A beat.

TONIWas she right?

GREGWho?

58.

TONIWhy do you want to be with me?

GREGWhat?

TONIWhy? If you think Im so stupid,what do you like about me?

GREGI dont think youre stupid and Ihavent over-thought it.

TONIYoure like all the rest of theguys our age. Trying to collecttrophies.

GREGI dont know what youre talkingabout.

TONIYour mother warned me about this. Ishould have known. But you trickedme, Greg.

GREGWhat did I do?

TONIYoure a little boy. And I wish youwould grow the fuck up.

Toni pulls into her driveway. She takes out a pair oftickets and places them on the dash.

Toni climbs out of the car. Greg grabs and examines thetickets. They read: "Mumford and Sons: Heart of Stone Tour."Greg gets out and follows Toni.

EXT. TONIS HOUSE - FRONT STEPS - NIGHT

Toni fumbles for her keys.

GREGWait, Toni. I want to go.

TONINo, you dont.

Toni unlocks the door.

59.

GREGYes, I do.

TONIGo home, Greg. And please, dontcall. I dont want to talk.

GREGCome on, Toni.

TONIYou lied to me.

GREGHow?

TONIEverything you did was a lie. Youmade me believe you were differentfrom all the other immatureassholes. When really, youre justthe same.

Toni enters her house and shuts the door.

GREGThis is ridiculous, Toni.

Greg slides the tickets through the mail-slot.


Kim prepares vegetables. Greg enters.

GREGWhat did you say to Toni?

KIMExcuse me?

GREGShe just lost her fuckin mindthanks to you. Now, what did yousay?

KIMIt wasnt bad.

GREGShe took it pretty bad.

60.

KIMI told her youre not good for eachother.

GREGWhat the fuck?

KIMShes using you, Greg.

GREGOh, Im sure you think that.

KIMShes bad for you.

GREGHow?

KIMYoure running around drinking,smoking dope --

GREGShe isnt holding a gun to my head--

KIMShes influencing you. Thats tentimes worse. She makes you thinkthese are your decisions.

GREGThey are.

KIMYou are not your brother. And Iwont stand by and let you becomehim.

GREGIm eighteen fuckin years old. Youhave to let me start makingdecisions. You keep trying tocontrol me, Im gonna turn intoNorman Bates.

KIMIs that a threat?

GREGIt is. Im going to kill you andwear your hair around the house.

61.

Greg storms out.

KIMYou dont mock me, boy.

INT. CAMDEN AUTO - LOWELLS OFFICE - DAY

Lowell spikes his coffee with Jameson. Thomas enters.

THOMASGuess how many cars weve sold thisquarter?

LOWELLUh, seven?

THOMASEighty-two.

LOWELLSee, its better than we thought.

THOMASThat fuckin sucks. Dentons salesare quadruple that. What do youthink is causing this?

LOWELLUh, I dont know. Dentons probablyjust suckin a lotta dick.

THOMASHes not the problem. His numbersare average. Our numbers aresagging. Any other guesses? Any atall?

Lowell dumps in more Jameson.

LOWELLIm stumped.

THOMASYou think you might be the problem?

LOWELL(faux shocked)

Me?

THOMASYou.

62.

LOWELLI cant see how.

THOMASI dont know. It just seems thatpeople might not want to buy carsfrom a casual alcoholic.

LOWELLI thought that too, and thats whyI became a very serious alcoholic.

THOMASI mean, youre such a fuck-up. AndI knew that before, but now thatits affecting me -- now thatyoure fucking it up for me -- Ifind it unacceptable.

Lowell takes a long gulp.

LOWELLI see your point.

THOMASI say that to say this -- I dontwant to see you at work tomorrow. Idont want to see you at work thenext day. I dont want to see youat work until you get your shittogether and stop repellingcustomers.

LOWELLDont you think youre speaking outof turn?

THOMASLook, I was here before you whenyour daddy ran the show. Andwatching you come in and fuck it upthe best you can, itsdisheartening. And Ive let a lotof shit slide in your time here,but Im stopping you before youtotally demolish what greater menthan you built.

Lowell leaves.

63.


Greg sips a glass of scotch. Lowell enters.

LOWELLHey, are you OK?

GREGIm fine.

LOWELLUsually, I wouldnt allow theliquor. You seem to need it,though.

GREGToni dumped me. With -- like --reverse psychology that made mefeel guilty. Like I dumped her.

LOWELLAnd you didnt do anything wrong?

GREGShe blew up over something -- itwas nothing. It was stupid.

LOWELLWell, I dont want to burst yourbubble here, but I have probablyseen this before.

GREGWhat?

LOWELLSounds to me like she was hidingsomething. Shifting the blame offon you.

GREGI dont know about that.

A beat.

LOWELLLook, Im not very good with stufflike this. But, I will say -- thereare more fish in the -- fish...bowl.

64.

GREGThe sea.

LOWELLThat.

GREGThank you for trying.

LOWELLListen man, I know Im not afountain of wisdom. But if you needto talk about anything, Im here.

GREGOK.

Lowell stands.

LOWELLYou can finish that glass ofscotch, but Im going to take thebottle.

Greg offers the glass.

GREGTake it. It tastes likechemotherapy.

Lowell retrieves a beer.

LOWELLThis is probably more your speed.

Greg accepts the offering.


Lowell reclines on his chair. He drinks from his beerhelmet. He watches Myth Busters. Kim enters, purse slungaround her shoulder.

KIMWhy arent you at work? You knowwhat, dont answer that.

LOWELLGladly.

Kim walks out the door.

65.

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

Barren dry-erase boards line the walls of the small room.Empty desks fill the room. COACH BRADY sits at his desk.

Greg enters.

BRADYWhat got you sent?

GREGI punched someone.

BRADYWho?

GREGRhett Bullock.

BRADYWell, good for you. How long you inhere?

GREGTen days.

BRADYI like you, son. Sit where ever.

Greg sits in the back. He takes out a binder and writes.

A TEACHER enters. A STUDENT follows.

BRADYWhats the matter?

TEACHERHe drew a Stalin mustache on myWeird Al poster.

(to the student)He already had a mustache! It isntright!

BRADYThat aint right, son. Ill takehim off your hands. You dontworry.

The teacher leaves.

BRADYI wont endorse your activities,but Stalin was a prudent choice.

66.

STUDENTMost people would have gone withthe Hitler stache.

BRADYIts a cliche.

STUDENTExactly.

BRADYI like you, son. Sit where ever.

The student takes the seat beside Greg.

BRADYWhat are your names?

GREGGreg Camden.

Brady writes on a legal pad.

BRADYAnd you?

STUDENTWally Townsend.

Brady writes again. He stands and walks to the door.

BRADYAlright, fellas. Im gonna go drinkdiet Dew and flirt with the lunchladies. Behave yourselves.

They seat in silence for a few beats. Greg focuses on thepage. Wally glances over at him.

WALLYYou like writing?

GREGIt passes the time.

WALLYWhat do you write?

GREGThis is a parody.

67.

WALLYNo shit. I love parodies. You mindif I read what youve got so far?

GREGYeah, I kinda do.

WALLYOK. Fine.

GREGIts just not finished yet. Itwont make sense.

WALLYYou should come to Drama.

GREGIm not an actor.

WALLYWeve got all kinds of people inDrama -- actors, writers,directors. People who do thelights. People who build the sets,paint the backdrops.

GREGIm just not really into the wholetheater thing.

WALLYItll help your writing. Believeme.

GREGIm just -- I dont think so.

WALLYOK. Alright. If you change yourmind, we meet every day lunch A.Were doing casting for CATStomorrow.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - LUNCH ROOM

Greg walks out holding a tray.

68.

HALLWAY

He passes Everetts classroom.

ANGLE ON: Classroom

Everett grades papers.

Toni and her friends sit in their corner.

Greg spots them and walks by.

GYM

He looks in the window. Nate plays basketball by himself.

AUDITORIUM

An ACTOR stands on stage. The drama teacher, a big, white,sassy bear of man, looks on. This is CAL. Wally sits besidehim.

CALNow give me your best "meow."

ACTORMeeeeooow.

CALAwful. Get off my stage. You arethe worst thing for theater sinceJohn Wilkes Booth. Next.

WALLYThere is no one else. Youveinsulted them all.

CALThere has to be someone.

WALLYNo.

Greg enters. Cal locks eyes on him.

CAL(to Greg)

Do you sing?

69.

GREGWhat?

CALDo you sing?

WALLYHes a writer.

CALI dont care what hes labeled.

(to Greg)Can you carry a tune, kid?

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - SIDELINES - NIGHT

Greg, Wally, and a few girls are dressed as cats.

BLEACHERS

Kim and Lowell sit together. The stands are packed.

KIMI cant watch. If he screws up,Ill feel like dying.

Kim hurries away.

ON THE FIELD

Rhett makes a tackle.

BLEACHERS

A man stands, clapping. He is clearly inebriated. This isRhetts father -- DONALD BULLOCK.

DONALDThats my boy!

The clock expires. Its half-time.

DONALDWoo! Go Paaaantheeers!

The football team shuffles off the field.

The Cats take center.

Donald laughs.

70.

CAL (O.S.)(over PA system)

And now an exclusive preview ofCATS -- as performed by TheEmmanuel Lewis High SchoolRapscallions.

A FEMALE CAT sings "Memory."

DONALDWhat the -- boo! Get the fairiesoff the field! Boooooooo!

LOWELLWhy dont you shut up, Donald?

DONALDTheyre fairies. You used to beatthe shit outta kids like that.

LOWELLHow about my son is out there?

Donald guffaws.

DONALDLowell Camdens son does theater.No, worse. He does theater anddresses like a gay.

LOWELLYeah, well, it didnt stop him frombeating your boys ass, did it?

DONALDYou fuckin watch it, Lowell.

LOWELLWhat do you plan on doing?

DONALDIll bruise you up one-side anddown the other.

LOWELLYoure so full of shit.

DONALDI mean it.

LOWELLI know you mean it. Youre just toostupid to realize you cant do it.

71.

DONALDLook, I dont want to do this righthere. Im liable to miss and hit atoddler.

LOWELLIm planning on making a run to theconcession stand when my boys doneperforming. Youre welcome to come.

DONALDIll put you in a coma, Lowell.

EXT. BEHIND BLEACHERS

Kim walks, digging through purse for her keys.

The sound of a fight. Kim follows her ears.

EXT. CONCESSION STAND - NIGHT

Donald charges Lowell. Lowell side-steps. Donald runs intothe stand. He bounces off.

LOWELLStop. Youre going to hurtyourself.

Kim arrives.

KIMStop it Lowell. Hes drunk.

LOWELLAnd Im not?

Ray sprays the men with a hose.

Donald charges Lowell again. This time he grabs Lowell bythe waist and attempts to body-slam him. Lowell deliversseveral blows to Donalds face. Donald is bloodied. Hebreaks his hold and stays down.

Lowell walks off.

72.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - ENTRY WAY

Greg enters. He looks out the window...

DRIVEWAY

Kim tosses a suitcase into her car.

ENTRY WAY

Lowell enters and stands beside Greg.

LOWELLShes going to grandmas for alittle while.

GREGWhat for?

A beat.

LOWELLTough to say.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - LIVING - NIGHT

Lowell sits in the recliner. He watches TV. He is surroundedby spent beer cans. He sips one. He finishes it. He crushesthe can and throws it on the ground. He reaches for another.Hes out.

MASTER BEDROOM

Lowell grabs the bottle of scotch out of the closet. Itsempty.

KITCHEN

He searches the cupboards, the drawers, the china cabinetfor alcohol. Nothing. He grabs his keys off the counter.

EXT. ABC STORE - NIGHT

Lowell parks on the curb. He approaches the store. Itsclosed.

LOWELLGod damn it!

73.

He grabs a rock and throws it at the glass door. A crackforms. Lowell examines the crack. He wraps his hand in acloth and PUNCHES THE DOOR. It SHATTERS after several blows.Lowell cuts his hand. The darkness obscures the extent ofthe injury.Lowell reaches in and turns the knob. He grabs a case ofbeer and leaves.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - ENTRY WAY - NIGHT

Lowell drops the case of beer.

BATHROOM

He flicks on the light. Blood is smeared all over his whiteshirt. He examines his wound. Its a nasty laceration, buthes too drunk to take it seriously. He wraps his hand in atowel.

MASTER BEDROOM

Lowell lies down on the bed.

MORNING

He wakes. A bloody pool has amassed around his hand. Heunwraps the towel and discovers the wound. He winces at theseverity.

BATHROOM

He pours rubbing alcohol on the wound. He wraps it in gauze.

LIVING ROOM

He enters with his newly and impressively wrapped hand. Hefinds the case of beer.

KITCHEN

He empties the cans into the drain.

74.

BATHROOM

Lowell showers. He wraps himself in a towel. He walks overand wipes the condensation from the mirror. He takes amoment to admire his motley appearance.

He grabs scissors and trims his beard. He shaves theremaining stubble with a razor.

He combs his hair.

He irons a pair of slacks.

MASTER BEDROOM

Lowell puts the finishing touches on a Windsor knot. He isdressed neatly.

INT. CAMDEN AUTO - SHOWROOM - DAY

Thomas makes a sales pitch to a family. The family iscomprised of the FATHER, MOTHER, and FOUR YOUNG BOYS. Themother is pregnant.

THOMASAnd its really great on gas. Getsabout 25 miles to the gallon.

FATHERReally?

THOMAS(re: Mothers baby bump)

It comfortably seats seven -- and Isee thats about to be a necessity.

The father and mother politely laugh.

LOWELL (O.S.)Youre forgetting the warranty.Three years, 36,000 miles?

Lowell observes the pitch at a safe distance.

THOMASHes right. Thats the basicwarranty. So, how are you feelingabout it?

75.

MOTHERIts a very attractive machine.

Thomas smiles.

THOMASThat it is. Now, you guys talk itover. Make a decision. And ifyoure interested, give me a call.

Thomas shakes hands with the father and mother. The familyleaves.

THOMAS(to Lowell)

You dont look like shit.

LOWELLThank you.

THOMASWhat happened?

LOWELLI dont know.

THOMASDoes this mean youre back?

LOWELLI guess it does.

Thomas considers his next move for a beat.

THOMASYoure on probation. The first timeI catch you sippin Germ-X in thecorner --

LOWELLI get it.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The Rapscallions partially fill the room. Greg, Wally, andWallys friend SAM sit together. Cal stands on stage,addressing the room.

CALAnd that, my friends, is the beautyof Shakespearean wit.

76.

SAMI make a fart joke and you call mejuvenile, Shakespeare makes a fartjoke and its "wit." Thatsbullshit.

CALDo you make them in iambicpentameter?

SAMReally? You want me to write asonnet about shredding ass?

CALYes.

Cals phone RINGS.

CAL(On the phone)

Hello? ... What? ... The AndrewLloyd Webber? ... God damn it!

Cal throws his phone against the wall. It shatters.

CALAndrew Lloyd Webber filed acease-and-desist against us.

WALLYWhy?

CALCause hes a fuckin asshole!

SAMWhat are we going to do?

CALI dont know. Anybody got a sparemusical lying around?

A GIRL raises her hand.

CAL(re: girl)

Meredith, you cant even sing.

MEREDITHYes I can.

77.

CALYou cant.

MEREDITHI have a beautiful voice.

CALYour voice is the worst thing formusic since John Hinckley Jr.

MEREDITHAsshole!

CALHomophobe.

MEREDITHAm not!

CALYou could have chosen any body-partto insult! You chose the gayestone!

MEREDITHI meant youre an asshole whohappens to be gay.

CALLeave now or I will write you upfor hate speech.

Meredith walks out.

MEREDITH (O.S.)ASSHOLE!

CALNO TALENT!

(to the remainingRapscallions)

If anyone asks, she called me then-word.

Cal collects himself.

CALSo, does anyone have an idea?

WALLYGreg is writing something.

78.

CAL(to Greg)

Is this true, Greg?

GREGUh, yeah.

CALWhat is it?

GREGIts kind of a parody of likecrime-dramas.

CALWhats it about?

STAGE - LATER

Greg and Wally and Sam act out the piece. They wear suitsand point fake guns at one another. They are in a Mexicanstand-off.

WALLYEveryone just calm the "f" down!Were going to have an extendedconversation about a trivialsubject --

SAMI oughta shoot --

WALLYHey! An extended conversation abouta trivial subject which will formthe basis for my monologue whichwill immediately precede gratuitousgun violence.

The boys looks at Cal who sits with the rest of theRapscallions.

CALWell, its not a musical. But it issnarky as hell. I like it.

MONTAGE:

79.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - STUDY - DAY

Lowell stuffs an envelope with several thousand dollars.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - AUDITORIUM - STAGE - DAY

Greg points a prop gun at Wally. They are both dressed in20s gangster clothing. Gregs face is red. He screams atWally maniacally. He pulls the trigger several times. Squibsin Wallys chest burst -- blood seeps out. Wally crumples.Cal rushes in.

CALNo, no, no!

INT. TONIS BEDROOM

Toni drops down and grabs a box from under her bed.

Its filled with miscellaneous junk -- barbies, CDs,diaries, etc.

She comes across the CD Greg gave her.

She places into a player.

She leans back on her bed and listens.

INT. CAMDEN AUTO - SHOWROOM - DAY

Lowell hands the family from before the keys to their newvehicle. Smiles all around as Lowell shakes hands with thefather.


Sam paints the backdrop. It reads: "REVIVE WILLIAM."

EXT. TOWNHOUSE - PORCH - DAY

Lowell places down a package. It holds a bundle of toys andthe envelope. It reads: "To Rose and Jason." He knocks onthe door and leaves.

A few moments later, Rose answers the door. She examines thepackage and smiles.

80.


Greg and Wally point prop guns at each other. They yell ateach other. They exchange a VOLLEY OF GUNFIRE. Blood burstsfrom their chests -- significantly more blood than before.They dramatically fall.

Cal shakes his head.

CALNo, no, no, no!

AUDITORIUM ENTRANCE.

Toni peers through the window, watching the rehearsal.

INT. STORE - DAY

Lowell places a dozen candles in a shopping cart.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - HALLWAY - DAY

HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS pass through. Sam holds a stack offliers. He hands one to a girl. She immediately throws itinto the waste-bin.

The hall is littered with discarded fliers.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - AUDITORIUM - STAGE

Greg, Wally, and Sam all point prop guns at each other, eachscreaming unintelligibly. They pull their triggers wildly.Torrents of blood gush from each of their chests. Theygloriously fall.

They look at Cal. He claps.

END MONTAGE.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - AUDITORIUM

Opening night. Only a dozen or so parents and grandparentsoccupy the hundreds of seats.

Neither Kim nor Lowell are present.

STAGE

The climax of the play:

81.

Greg, Wally, and Sam empty their pistols into each other.The Mexican-Standoff from hell.

The crowd has no idea what theyre seeing. They clap out ofconfusion.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

A cavernous, half-full room.

The students are separated into their respective socialgroups.

Haley and Erica sit in the center of the room, bordered byall those who wish to be them.

Nate sits alone, working through a sandwich.

Toni enters, towing a lunch-bag. She spots Nate, isolated inthe corner.

Haley and Erica beckon her. Toni walks toward the girls.

CORNER

Rhett approaches Nate.

RHETTHello, Nathan. Wheres yourfuck-boy?

Nate gives no response. Rhett grabs the sandwich out ofNates hand.

RHETTYou want to acknowledge me,asshole?

A tray slaps down on the table.

Rhett turns his head.

Toni stands over the tray.

RHETTHey, Toni --

TONILeave him alone.

82.

RHETTCome on, Toni. You know --

TONIGet the fuck out of here.

Rhett freezes up in embarrassment and disgust. He drops thesandwich and leaves.

NATEExpecting a "thank you?"

TONII just thought you might want somecompany.

NATE(gathering his things)

That Im not looking for.

Nate stands and starts to leave.

TONII told him I wanted you to stayfriends.

NATEThat why you cracked the whip onhim?

A beat. Toni looks at the ground out of shame, not able tomuster words.

NATEYou know -- Im not mad at you. Notat all. Thank God for you. I neededyou.

TONIOK. Fine. I deserve that.

Toni starts to leave.

NATEIm not being sarcastic. Am Icoming off sarcastic?

TONILike a dick. Youre coming off likea dick.

Nate laughs.

83.

NATEIm serious. Im thankful for you.Somebody had to bring out Gregscolors.

TONIThose werent his colors.

NATENo, youre right. He doesnt havecolors. He bears other peoplescolors. Anybodys colors. Cause hethinks it makes him nice.

Nate leaves.

INT. DINER - DAY

Lowell and Kim share a table.

KIMYou look good, Lowell.

LOWELLThank you.

KIMHow are the boys?

LOWELLGregs keeping busy. Broke it offwith that little girl he wasseeing.

KIMGood for him.

LOWELLYou not like her?

KIMShe was bad for him.

LOWELLSeemed nice enough to me.

KIMHows Dylan?

LOWELLDylan is -- Dylan.

84.

KIMI assumed.

LOWELLI miss you, Kimbo.

KIMOK.

LOWELLThe house doesnt feel rightwithout you.

KIMYou really think you can do this,Lowell? Snake your way back in.

LOWELLWhat?

KIMYoure not gonna sweet talk me.

LOWELLIm being honest with you.

KIMAnd I appreciate that, but really,what good is it gonna do?

LOWELLWell, I guess none.

KIMLook, this will be easier if wekeep emotions out of it.

LOWELLWhat are you talking about?

Kim takes a long draw of water.

KIMI want a divorce, Lowell.

LOWELLYou want a divorce?

KIMYes.

85.

LOWELLWell, God damn. Dropping that bombin a fuckin diner. You are aclassy woman.

KIMLowell, please.

LOWELLWhat? Should I be calm?

KIMBe civil.

LOWELLWhat does Joy Behar say to do intimes like these?

KIMStop it. Be civil.

LOWELLI gave it a hell of an effort.

Lowell stands to leave. He throws a wad of cash onto thetable.

KIMCome on.

LOWELLWhat? You want me to wait for thefood? Kids in Africa, right?

KIMI gave you every chance in theworld. And you ran through all ofthem. And I cant let you bring medown any further.

LOWELLYou -- you are a fucking bitch.

Lowell leaves.

INT. LOWELL AND KIMS BEDROOM

A semi-circle of unlit candles wraps around the bed.

Lowell enters. He steps over the candles and sits on thebed. He surveys his work with a look of disappointment.

86.

INT. CAMDEN AUTO - THOMAS OFFICE

Thomas talks into a phone. Hes chipper. Lowell enters.

THOMASWere looking good.

LOWELLYeah?

THOMASWe arent back, but were gettingthere.

LOWELLLets celebrate.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Thomas and Lowell sit at a high-top table. Several emptymugs with remnants of froth dot the surface.

Lowell sips a beer. Hes visibly inebriated.

LOWELLYou know whats so great aboutalcohol?

THOMASGets you drunk?

LOWELLNope.

THOMASThe taste? I dont know.

LOWELLWithout it, Im like a woman. Ihave emotions. Its gross. A grownman should not have emotions.

THOMASI dont know about that.

LOWELLThats the difference between menand women. Theyre so open abouteverything. Men can easily takeadvantage of it. I mean, theyrenot over taking advantage of useither, they just get fewer

(MORE)

87.

LOWELL (contd)opportunities. Thats why we havedominion.

THOMASYou sound like the grand wizard.

LOWELLWhat is that? Like Dumbledore?

THOMASIts a leadership position in theKKK.

LOWELLA leadership position? Like theyorganize the luncheons?

Thomas laughs.

THOMASForget it.

LOWELLNo. I want to know why you have anintimate knowledge of a racial-hategroup.

THOMASAre you going to drive me home?

LOWELLYou trying to be my rebound?

THOMASNo.

LOWELLCause at most the sex will bemeaningless.

EXT. BAR - PARKING LOT

Lowell and Thomas walk to their cars.

THOMASTell me something.

LOWELLWhat?

88.

THOMASAre you serious about all this?

LOWELLAbout what?

A beat as Thomas chooses his words.

THOMASThe company. Your drinking.

LOWELLJesus.

THOMASHonest to God.

LOWELLWe went to a fucking bar. Im notsneaking sips on the showroomfloor.

THOMASWell. You aint far removed.

Lowell lets out a dismissive laugh.

LOWELLThomas, its Friday. Everybodysdrinking. At least we have areason.

Lowell climbs into his truck.

COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

Lowell cruises along, boozed up. He struggles to keep hiseyes open.

He turns up the radio. It works for a while before itbecomes white noise as his eyes close and he drifts tothe...

CUT TO BLACK.

FADE IN:

89.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING

Lowell lay asleep on the bed. A bruise marks his foreheadand a few deep scratches line his face.

Thomas sits in the chair beside him.

Lowells eyes crack open. He holds his head and moans.

LOWELLWhat the fuck happened?

THOMASYou hit a tree.

LOWELLIn a car?

THOMASYoure lucky.

LOWELLWhat? I could have been on a moped?

THOMASI got Harlan to keep it out of thepaper that you were drunk as a Jew.

Lowell massages his temples.

LOWELLWhy does it feel like Buddhassitting on my head?

THOMASYou have a concussion.

LOWELLIm feeling it.

THOMASCould be worse. The papers aresaying youre in a coma.

LOWELLOh yeah?

THOMASGod bless em.

LOWELLShould we set em straight? Orshould we watch the circle-jerkimplode?

90.

THOMASWell, its your health, yourdecision. But I will say, this"coma" aint hurtin business.

LOWELLWe got the sympathy demo?

THOMASEverybody wants a car from thecomatose king. Dentons taking abutt-fucking.

LOWELLUsually, Id say we ought to clearthe air. But Id also say thatDenton deserves a goodbutt-fucking.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - HALLWAY - DAY

The walls are adorned with pictures of Lowell bearinginspirational messages.

They hang beside advertisements for the play.

Greg enters. He is immediately enveloped in a MOB OFSTUDENTS.

MOB 1Hey, Greg. I love your work.

MOB 2Your father is a great man.

MOB 3Is your play a metaphor for yourfathers condition?

Greg passes a STUDENT he has never seen before beinginterviewed by a REPORTER.

STUDENTGreg and I have a spiritualconnection. Best friends? Wehavent exactly put a label on it,but if I had to, Id describe us as-- life companions.

The reporter spots Greg.

91.

REPORTERGreg! Do you have a comment?

Cal arrives and grabs Greg. He removes him from the crowd.

CALGive him space. Go to class.

INT. CALS OFFICE - DAY

Cal pulls Greg into the room. A few STUDENTS try to followGreg in. Cal stops them.

CALNo. Were having a private meeting.For theater.

Cal closes the door.

CALI swear to God those posters werenot my doing.

GREGI believe you.

CALI got a call from the paper. Theywant to interview me. Are you OKwith that?

GREGSure.

CALYou shouldnt be.

GREGI dont care.

A beat. Cal studies Gregs face.

CALYes, you do. I can see it.

GREGI dont.

CALIts OK, Greg. You should be angry.

92.

GREGIm fine. Im serious.

CALAre you not aware that you aresurrounded by people who are tryingto benefit from your situation.

GREGMaybe theyre trying to help.

CALBy lying about being your bestfriend? By whoring themselves outfor fifteen minutes on TV? Its soclear what is happening. And themost disturbing thing to me is thatyoure OK with it.

GREGHes not even hurt.

CALWhat?

GREGMy dad is fine. Hes got aconcussion. All that "coma"bullshit is just that.

CALLook, whatever your situation is, Iwont take advantage of it. Butthere are a lot of people who willif you let them.

GREGCal, Im good.

CALDo you still want to do the showtonight? I understand if you backout.

GREGOf course I want to. Are we donehere?

Greg walks over to the door.

CALGreg, Im not trying to hurt you.

93.

GREGI know. I know. Im just not insome fragile mental state likeyoure implying.

INT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The house is packed. Standing room only. Shirts reading: "WELOVE LOWELL" clothe many in the crowd.

Several cameras from multiple local news stations pepper theroom.

Nate looks on from the back. He attempts to obscure himselfwith a hat. He succeeds only in looking creepy.

The crowd is riveted by the play. They look on intently.

STAGE

Sam, Greg, and Wally perform the blood-drenched grandfinale.

SILENCE. A beat. MORE SILENCE. Another beat.

The crowd ERUPTS.

The entire cast fills the stage. They bow. Each membershakes hands with Greg. Eventually, Greg and Cal are theonly two left. Cal shakes Gregs hand.

Greg flees backstage.

STAGE

A MAN IN A BLACK SUIT emerges holding a microphone and aplaque.

MAN IN BLACKOn behalf of the New York CityTheatrical Association, and inrespect to his extraordinary skilland potential as a new artist, Iwould like to extend the offer ofthe Nelson-Ridgemont Scholarship toGregory Lowell Camden.

The crowd CHEERS.

BACK STAGE

Greg and Cal stand.

94.

CALYou dont have to do this, kid.

GREGI can do it.

Greg straightens up and moves toward the stage.

STAGE

Greg emerges. The crowd ROARS. The man in black hands Gregthe plaque and the microphone.

GREGIve been a writer for a long time.But this was my first play. Aparody of Quentin Tarantinos bodyof work. As if Im good enough tolick the dirt off his shoes.

The crowd laughs. Greg spots Nate in the back. He quicklyexits.

GREGUh, contrary to popular belief, theplay is not about my father.

A beat.

GREGHes not in a coma. Hes just anasshole.

The crowd falls silent in shock.

Greg exits the stage.

EXT. EMMANUEL LEWIS HIGH - PARKING LOT

Toni leans against Gregs truck, smoking a cigarette.

Greg emerges from the building, holding a bag.

TONII thought you might want your CDback.

She hands Greg the Neutral Milk Hotel disc.

Greg opens the truck and tosses his bag onto the passengerseat. He tosses the disc on top of that.

95.

TONII liked your show.

Greg climbs into the truck.

TONIYou gonna talk to me?

GREGCan I ask you something? I want youto be truthful.

TONIOK.

GREGWhat were we?

TONIWhat?

GREGWere we together? Were you seriousabout it?

TONII was serious.

GREGWere there other guys? Was it justme?

TONII liked you, Greg.

GREGThen why did you make damn sure itdidnt work?

TONIIm not sure about a lot.

GREGI heard some things. I chose toignore em. And I burned somebridges because of it. And Id liketo know exactly what that was allfor.

TONIWhat did you hear?

96.

GREGWere you trying to get to Everettthrough me?

TONIWho told you that?

GREGWhats the truth?

TONIOK. Alright. I used you, Greg. Idid.

GREGWhat did I mean to you?

TONIWhat did you mean to me?

GREGYeah.

TONIWell, not a whole lot at first.First time I met you, I didnt seeyou as much more than a pawn.

GREG(cranking the truck)

Well, its comforting to know yousaw me as something.

TONIIm trying to be honest with you.

GREGIts the least you could do.

TONIDo you want me to keep telling youthe parts that are just gonna burnyou? Or should I tell you why Imhere right now?

GREGI dont know. I suppose Everettssomewhere close.

TONIGreg, I cant justify what I did inthe past. It was shit. And as muchas I want to, I cant take it back.

97.

GREGNo, you cannot.

TONIBut Ive had some time to myself.And Ive done a lot of thinking.And I realized, as much as Iignored it, there was somethingbetween us. And it gnaws at meevery day not having it.

GREGIts not fair you saying thesethings.

Greg cranks the truck and drives away.


Greg opens the fridge and grabs a case of Buffalo Heart.

GREGS ROOM

He pounds a beer.

EXT. UPTOWN - GREGS TRUCK - 1 AM

Greg sits at a stoplight, visibly drunk. He holds a can ofBuffalo Heart.

The rest of the case rests on the floor.

He fumbles with the radio. The song changes to "Debaser."

EXT. NATES HOUSE - FRONT YARD

A two-story upscale Victorian.

Gregs truck is parked on the curb. Greg stands outsideNates window. He pelts the window with rocks.

After several hits, Nate opens his window.

NATEWhat the fuck are you doing?

GREGIm trying to get your attention.

98.

NATEYoure supposed to use pebbles. Nothail.

GREGIm sorry.

NATEWhat do you want?

GREGI want to say Im sorry abouteverything.

NATEThats nice.

GREGI seriously fucked you over, man.

NATEYeah, you did.

GREGYou didnt deserve that. And I justreally wish you could forgive me.

NATEYou abandoned me for someone youbarely knew. Thats hard to forget.

GREGI dont want you to forget.

NATEIts the same thing for me.

GREGCan I come up to your room? Can wetalk about this face-to-face?

NATEI dont want to wake up my parents.

GREGWe have to talk.

NATEIm sorry man.

Greg wobbles to the truck. He opens the door.

99.

NATEAre you drunk?

GREGNo.

NATEYoure drunk.

GREGWhat can I do? I cant come in. Icant leave.

NATEWait.

Nate steps away from the window. A few beats later the frontdoor of the house opens. Nate steps out and approaches Greg.He moves Greg away from the truck and closes the door.

GREGI missed you.

NATECome on.

They enter the house.

INT. NATES HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Nate guides Greg to the sofa. He fetches a blanket.

GREGYou have no idea. You were the onlyone who stuck with me. And I tookit for granted.

NATEI know.

Nate steps out of the room.

KITCHEN

Nate starts a batch of coffee.

GREG (O.S.)Never again. I love you.

NATEIm glad you had that epiphany.

Nate returns to the...

100.

LIVING ROOM

He grabs a pillow and hands it to Greg.

GREGAll I want is for you to forgiveme.

NATEYou just dont realize.

GREGWhat?

NATEEverything you hate -- you becomeit. I dont know -- it happens toyou. Probably, you let it happen.But then when it stings you, youtake it out on the people who carefor you.

(a beat)I dont hate you, Greg. I pity you.

MORNING

Greg lies on the couch, blanket draped over half of hisbody.

He wakes. He has no idea where he is.

He spots a picture on the mantle -- Nate posed with themembers of his family.

He checks his phone.

EXT. NATES HOUSE - DRIVEWAY - GREGS TRUCK

Greg opens the door.

The case of Buffalo Heart he nursed the night before stillrests on the floorboard.

QUICK FLASHES:

*Lowell handing Greg the beer.

*Lowell and Greg watching Kim leave.

*Lowell clutching a coozy and piloting his boat.

WE FADE from Lowells face to Gregs, studying the case ofbeer.

101.

He realizes that Nate fucking nailed it.


Lowell and Kim sit at opposite ends of the table, each withpapers in from of them.

Between them sits an ARBITRATOR. He taps away at a laptop.

Through the window, we see the boat perched atop a trailer,hitched to Lowells truck.

ARBITRATORAs there is no prenuptial agreementon record, liquid assets will bedivided equally between bothparties.

Kim and the arbitrator look at Lowell.

LOWELLFine.

ARBITRATORThe house shall be sold and profitsdivided equally between bothparties.

Lowell nods.

ARBITRATORThe boat shall also be sold andprofits divided.

LOWELLNow that -- I -- no. The boat ismine.

ARBITRATORNot legally, Mr. Camden.

LOWELLFuck legally. Thats my boat. Shehates it.

ARBITRATORIts common property. Either itshall be sold and profits divided,or you will have to compensate Kimfor her share.

102.

KIMNo. No compensation. I want theboat to be sold.

LOWELLFuck that. No fucking way. Irefuse.

ARBITRATORIf you choose not to accept thevalidity of this contract, youralternative is a court hearing.Which will cost you at least themarket price of the boat.

LOWELLFuck that too. Its my fuckin boat.Did I mention her infidelity? Shesan infidel.

Greg enters.

GREGWhats going on?

KIMHey, Greg.

GREGWhat is this?

A long silence. It seems neither Kim nor Lowell wants tobreak the news...

KIMWere dividing our property.

GREGWhat?

A beat.

LOWELLGreg, were getting a divorce.

GREGWhen were you going to tell me?

KIMWe thought you had a decent idea.

103.

ARBITRATORUh -- I dont mean to interrupthere. But youre paying me hourly.

Lowell shoots the arbitrator a nasty look.

KIMGreg, can we talk about this afterwere done here?

GREGSure.

ARBITRATOROK. So, what about the boat?

LOWELLIm not giving up the boat.

ARBITRATOROK. Fine. In that case, Im donehere.

The arbitrator gathers the files and returns them to hisbrief-case.

ARBITRATORYou can file for a court appearanceand hand the government an obsceneamount of money. Thats fine.

The arbitrator starts for his laptop...

LOWELLWait.

ARBITRATOROh, do I matter now?

LOWELLWhy dont we deed the boat to Greg?let him decide what to do? Is thatOK?

ARBITRATORDo you agree, Kim?

KIMSure.

ARBITRATOR(typing into the contract)

Well, congratulations, kid. Yourea boat owner.

104.

A shit-eating grin overtakes Lowells face.

LOWELLYall are too easy. Hes gonna letme use it whenever I want. It mightas well be mine.

KIMNo. Greg, I forbid that. You sellthe boat. And put it towardcollege. Thats at least two yearsat a state school.

LOWELLAnd I forbid that. As the personwho bought the boat.

Greg smiles but his eyes betray his deep frustration.

KIMThat has no bearings. As yourmother, Greg, you sell that boat.Thats forty-grand. Thats asemester at a private college.

LOWELLAs your father, I say fuck that.You know whose boat it is.

Greg cant stand the bullshit any longer. He leaves theroom.

Lowell and Kim are too caught up in their verbal sparring tonotice Gregs absence.

LOWELLWhat are you fighting this for,Kim? I gave you fifty-percent ofeverything I own. And you cantjust let me keep the boat? You area gold-digging whore.

KIMI thought I was a gold-digging"infidel", you fuckin retard.

EXT. CAMDEN HOUSE

Greg walks along the side of the house. He heads to the...

BACKYARD

He looks at the boat sitting high on the trailer.

105.

He walks to the...

UTILITY CLOSET

...and opens the door.

He grabs an axe.

INT. CAMDEN HOUSE - DINING ROOM

Kim and Lowell continue their bickering. The arbitratortries to reason with them to no avail.

Through the window, we see Greg clutching the axe with bothhands. He deliberately approaches the boat.

BACKYARD - BOAT

He draws back with the axe and buries it into the side ofthe boat.

DINING ROOM

The argument pauses as Lowell receives a call.

LOWELLYep? ... Greg did what? ... Shit.

(Lowell glances out thewindow)

Shit!

Lowell runs out of the room.

ANGLE ON: Backyard

A large hole in the side of the boat.

Greg now stands atop the boat, attacking the interior.

KITCHEN

Kim looks outside and follows Lowell out.

BACKYARD

Lowell sprints toward the axe-wielding Greg.

Kim follows several yards behind.

Lowell tries to scale the side of the boat.

Gregs rabid assault on the Captains chair startles Lowelland he falls onto his back.

106.

Kim grabs a hose and sprays Greg. No effect.

DINING ROOM

Dylan stumbles in.

He watches through the window as Greg rages against theboat. As Kim sprays him with the hose in vain. As Lowellsits on the bare ground, resigned to the fact that his mostbeloved possession is wrecked.

A look of pride fills Dylans eyes.

DYLANFuck yeah, brother.

BACKYARD

Greg drops the axe and hops down from the boat.

He rips a bundle of flowers from the garden and starts forhis truck.

EXT. TONIS HOUSE

Greg stands on the lawn. His truck rests behind him on thecurb.

He cuts down the path leading to the...

FRONT STEPS

He raps his knuckles on the door.

No response.

He gives a few more knocks.

Nothing.

He slides the flowers through the mail slot and returns tohis...

TRUCK

He drives off as...

FRONT STEPS

The door opens. Toni stands, holding the ghetto bouquet. Sherecognizes the fleeing truck.

She smiles as we...

107.

FADE TO BLACK.

THE END.

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Young Folks