For COURTSHIP
ByLeah Solmerin Corpuz, Ph.D.
09173127132
ccept yourself
ccept yourself
So…You are ready to get into a relationship?
But, First…Know that your most
important relationship is that with yourself.
Having wrong attitudes about ourselves affect every other relationship in our life.
- Bill Gothard
ccept yourself
Some evidence of self-rejection• Excessive shyness• Over-attention on clothes• Neglect of personal care• Bullying• Self-criticism• Attempting to imitate someone
admired• Awkward attempts to hide
unchangeable defects• Extravagance (or wanting to
have what others have)• Flirting with the opposite sex
ccept yourself
ccept yourself
ow to your authority
ow to your authority
Activity: “People in my Life”
Objective: To make the student appreciate the people that play vital role in his/her life.
Rationale: The student has to understand that before getting into a new relationship, he/she needs to value the people that are already in his/her life.
Procedure:1. Student folds a whole sheet of paper into ten boxes, and writes in each box the name of the top-ten persons in his/her life. Jose-Father Maria-mother Anna-Sister Liza-Best
friendEtc.
etc etc etc etc etc
ow to your authority
Abnormal Social Development in Teen-agers
Communication breakdown
Stubbornness
Open rebellion
Wrong friends
Ungratefulness
search for excitement
or suicidal depression
Condemnation
of others
Defense ofsensuality
ow to your authority
The way a girl responded to theauthority of her father tends to be the way
she will respond to the authority of her husband.
The way a boy treated his mother tends to be the way he will treat his wife.
ow to your authority
ccept yourself
ow to your authorityombat boredom
ombat boredom
Boredom
curiosity experimentation
Sensual focus
violation of
conscience
rationaliza
tion
Moral Impurity
Redefiningmorality
Lasciviousnessdefrauding your dateunwanted pregnancy
no preparation in starting a familymarital conflicts
separation
=
rebellion
ombat boredom
Journey to a Healthy/Lasting
RelationshipAcquaintanc
eship
Casual Friendship
Close Friendship
DatingCourtshipIntimate
Friendship
Marriage
ombat boredom
Based on occasional contacts
Step 1: Acquaintanceship
Can ask general questions: public information
Conversation, makes the rhythm
Conversation now begins
(my number – other’s number)
Activity/Icebreaker: CONVERSATION
A healthy relationship starts from a friendly
conversation…
That comes as a result ofattentive listening
through turn-taking skills.
Value to teach:
Based on common interest, activities, and concerns
Can ask specific questions: opinions, ideas, wishes, and
goals.
Step 2: Casual Friendship
Teacher distributes bingo sheets.
Activity/Icebreaker: Human Bingo
Do you enjoy reading novels?_______________
Do you like sports/ball games?________________
Have you been to another country?________________
etc etc Etc
etc etc etc
Instructions:1. Student goes around, asks ONE QUESTION to ONE CLASSMATE. 2. If the classmate’s answer is YES, he/she writes the name of that classmate
below the question.3. A student who is able to form a line (vertical, horizontal, diagonal) shouts
bingo.
1. A strong relationship is based on honesty/truthfulness.
2. There are no shortcuts in lasting relationships.
Value to teach:
Based on mutual life goals
Has the freedom to suggest mutual projects toward
reaching life goals.
Step 3: Close Friendship
Done at the right time and right circumstances
Dating (from among your close friends)
This is not just about a boy and a girl meeting at a certain
place.
Initially, should be a group date.
Basic purpose: for a person to discover his/her own personality, and to discover how to deal with
peopleof different personalities.
Dating (from among your close friends)
From the group dates, a person can discern who among his/her friends does
he/she feel most comfortable with.
Group date is not the same as dating around.
Only then can that person have an exclusive dating with another.
Some activities in group dates:1. Ball games, word/board games2. Cook-out3. Eating out together4. Other activities that will bring
out your true self, and the best in you
Dating (from among your close friends)
How old should a person bebefore starting to date exclusively?
Exclusive Dating
1. When you are aware of both the benefits and dangers of dating.
2. When you have both worked out a set of dating standards.
3. When you have purposed that you will not lower these standards, even if it means losing dates.
Benefits:1. Helps you discover your
own likes, dislikes, interests, etc.
2. Helps you discern the kind of person whom you enjoy to be with (fits your own personality)
3. Can develop genuine friendships
Dangers1. When either (or both) is self-
centered and has no genuine concern for the other
2. When one (or both) is pushy and manipulative
3. When physical attraction and sensuality have become the primary reasons for dating
Basic standards1. Respect for each other's
thoughts and feelings2. Knowledge and permission
of parents/guardian3. Activities that will bring
out the best in both of you4. Never in dark and
secluded places where you will be tempted to defraud each other.
To evaluate dating standards, we must
determine how they will affect a future marriage--
to build or destroy it.
Exclusive Dating
is when a male and a female feel that from all their close friends (and the people they have dated in the past), there is one he/she likes to
get to know more on another level.
Courtship
Ideally, two people who decide to go on to the courtship stage should have had a friendship that
is tested by time and trials.
this stage in a couple's relationship usually precedes engagement.
Based on commitment to thedevelopment of each other's character
Intimate Friendship
Freedom to correct each other-- in honesty but with discretion
BUT, this is not the same as physical intimacythat must only happen after marriage
TRUE LOVE WAITS.
For COURTSHIP
ByLeah Solmerin Corpuz, Ph.D.
09173127132