F O U N D E D IN 1949 NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
If you require a flat for
next year, want someone to
share with, have places to
spare in your digs, or want
info on flats in general
contact the Flat share '76
scheme being run by I C U .
Forms are available from
I C U , the Residence office,
and the Haldane L i b . The
scheme runs throught the
summer.
NO. 425 F r i d a y 25 June 1976 F R E E !
Fromone
to another OVERSEAS
STUDENTS FEES
T H E J O I N T W O R K I N G P a r t y
of the C V C P and U G C has come
out f i rmly aga ins t fee
d i f f e ren t i a l s between home and
o v e r s e a s s tudents (OS) in i t s
f ina l report p u b l i s h e d th is
week. I ns tead , they c a l l for
a fee d i f fe ren t ia l between
fu l l - t ime pos tg radua tes and
undergraduates.
On the b a s i s of th i s
p r o p o s a l , t u i t i on fees for
fu l l - t ime un ive rs i t y s tudents
wou ld be l e v i e d at £250 for
undergraduates and £450 for
pos tgraduates in 1 9 7 7 / 7 8 .
T h e reports a l s o c a l l s on
u n i v e r s i t i e s to c o n t a i n , by
vo lun ta ry agreement , the
present open-ended commitment
on O S . T h e l im i t a t i on o f OS
wou ld be made between a
un i ve rs i t y and the U G C
accord ing to the u n i v e r s i t y ' s
need .
T h i s wou ld in e f fec t s top
u n i v e r s i t i e s from making up
their numbers w i th O S . C o l l e g e s
such as I C w h i c h had large
numbers of O S would keep to
thei r present l e v e l s of OS
intake and wou ld therefore
not suffer under th i s p r o p o s a l .
The c h o i c e of d i s c r i m i n a t i o n i s d e s c r i b e d by S i r B r i a n F l o w e r s as " r e a s o n a b l e and ce r ta i n l y u n d e n i a b l e " .
S i r B r i a n went to comment: " O v e r s e a s s tudents are a s t ra in on the taxpayers and a heavy one at the moment. G i v e n the present c i r c u m s t a n c e s , we ought to accept vo luntary rest ra in t and run the r i s k of d i s c r i m i n a t i o n between undergraduates and pos t g r a d u a t e s " .
" I f one comp la ins too much then the c h o i c e i s between h igher f ees for pos tgraduates and someth ing much w o r s e " , he added.
F o r those P G s who are a l s o ove rseas s tudents the Working P a r t y ' s fees p roposa l means that a l though they w i l l not be much bet ter off , they ce r ta in l y w i l l not be -much worse off.
R a i s e your h a t s , b l o w yo ur t r u m p e t s , ' c a u s e E n t s
l o s t £ 7 0 0 o n l a s t S a t u r d a y ' s G - B a n d c o n c e r t . '
J u d g i n g from the e x p r e s s i o n s of t h e s e two p e o p l e
(above) at the c o n c e r t , t h e y c o u l d n ' t g i v e a d amn . '
College tuition fees F O L L O W I N G the 30% inc rease
i n tu i t i on f ees for c o l l e g e s in
h igher and further educa t i on
announced by the Secre tary
of State for E d u c a t i o n l as t
December , the C o l l e g e i s to
impose s e s s i o n a l fees of
£ 2 1 1 , £426 for home and
ove rseas under graduates
r es pec t i v e l y and £ 2 0 1 , £416
for home and ove rseas pos t
g radua tes .
T h e Hardsh ip F u n d set up
by the U n i v e r s i t y Gran ts
Commi t tee ( U G C ) w i l l operate
for the s e s s i o n 1976 /77 .
In a d d i t i o n , the U G C has
w idened the a p p l i c a t i o n of the
fund to cove r a l l s tudents who
were in a t tendance in 1975 /76
and not on ly those who were
he lped from the 1975/76
fund.
T h e a v a i l a b l e funds w i l l
a l s o be used to a l l e v i a t e
next s e s s i o n s 30% i n c r e a s e as
w e l l a s t h i s s e s s i o n ' s £70
i n c r e a s e .
He lp w i th the h igher l e v e l
o f f e e s w i l l be res t r i c ted to
s tudents who pay thei r own
fees and had a l ready begun
the i r s tud ies at I C i n 1975 /76
or who had made the d e c i s i o n
to enter the I C before March
1975. C l a i m s by I C students
for r e m i s s i o n in 1976/77 w i l l
be cons ide red by a s p e c i a l
pane l of academic staf f set up
by the Boa rd of S t u d i e s .
A p p l i c a t i o n forms are
ob ta inab le from Mr J B e v a n ,
R o o m 344 Sher f i e ld B u i l d i n g .
Flowers on power
IN A MAJOR speech, at
Tuesday's National Energy
Conference in London, the
Rector, Sir Brian Flowers,
expressed considerable anxiety
about proposals to develop a
fast breeder reactor system
as the basis for Britain's
nuclear power stations.
Si r B r i a n , who i s C h a i r m a n
of the R o y a l C o m m i s s i o n on
Env i ronmen ta l P r o t e c t i o n , w a s
speak ing pr ior to the p u b l i c a t i o n
of the C o m m i s s i o n ' s report on
the env i ronmenta l haza rds o f
the nuc lea r power indus t ry .
In h i s opening remarks the
Rec to r s a i d that the C o m m i s s i o n
accep ted that nuc lear power
of fered the p o s s i b i l i t y of much
l e s s po l l u t i on than conven t i ona l
power s t a t i o n s . However they
feH'that nobody should rely for
something as basic as energy
on a process that produces in
quantity a by-product as
dangerous as plutonium unless
he is absolutely convinced
that there is no reasonable
alternative course of action.
I am bound to say that we have
not been wholly convinced that
this is the case by the
evidence sumbitted to us'
T h e R e c t o r then ou t l i ned the
awkward d i s p o s a l p rob lems o f
P l u t o n i u m a r i s i n g because of
i t s l ong rad io -ac t i ve l i f e .
17% for PGs A V E R A G E I N C R E A S E S of 17% in the postgraduate grants for the next s e s s i o n were announced by Secretary of State for E d u c a t i o n , Mr M u l l e y , on Monday i n the H o u s e of Commons . T h e new grant l e v e l s (wi th l a s t y e a r ' s i n b racke ts ) are £1,380 (£1,180) for those ou ts ide London and £925 (£790) for s tudents l i v i n g at home.
t mm.
Extremist thoughts on Union Management I N C L U D E D B E L O W are a c o l l e c t i o n
of v i e w s , and q u e s t i o n s , w h i c h cou ld make people th ink what they want from thei r U n i o n . Chang ing the current Un ion P o l i c y cou ld lead to a better d e m o c r a c y .
T h e Student Union
No matter how e f fec t i ve the P res iden t of a U n i o n , i s , it Is a lmos t Inev i tab le that there w i l l often on ly be a s m a l l number of s tudents in terested in In te rna l / ex terna l p o l i t i c s . A t Imperial C o l l e g e , w i th about 40% post -graduates and about 40% Overseas s tuden t s , the re l evance of the Un ion unfor tunately tends to be even less than at other U n i v e r s i t i e s . Un ion meet ings appear to draw a regu lar , s m a l l percentage of p o l i t i c a l l y mot ivated members . F o r many more s tuden ts , the Un ion only he lps fund the i r a c t i v i t i e s . Perhaps the major i ty make l i t t l e use of the f a c i l i t i e s , and s o prov ide a large pool of resources for the in terested few.
One Interest ing phenomenon in th is ins t i tu t ion is that i ts members are conse rva t i ve (smal l ' c ' ) . T h u s , when an 'ex t rem is t ' motion Is put to a Un ion Meet ing it is l i ke l y to be h e a v i l y d e f e a t e d .
Union Meetings
Bear ing in mind the comments in the f i rs t s e c t i o n , it is very d i f f i c u l t to see how the U n i o n ' s a c t i v i t i e s c a n be open ly shown to a f fec t the qua l i t y of l i fe! on c a m p u s . If the matters d i c u s s e d cou ld be
T h e impef ta! C o l l e g e Or ien tee r ing
C l u b has on ly been i n e x i s t e n c e s i n c e
las t Oc tober , and i t was o f f i c i a l l y
r ecogn i zed by the A t h l e t i c s C l u b
Commit tee in January of th is year .
S ince i t s i n c e p t i o n , c l u b members have
been compet ing i n Or ien tee r i ng ' E v e n t s '
on most S u n d a y s , i n fo res ts a l l over
South of E n g l a n d . In t o t a l , members
have competed in ove r 20 di f ferent
even ts and T O C ' i s now a w e l l know
name in o r ien te r r ing c i r c l e s .
The c l u b has a l s o o rgan i sed i t s
own even ts on Wednesday af ternoons
for members of I C and other L o n d o n
C o l l e g e s . T h e s e have been he ld on
Hampstead H e a t h , R i c h m o n d P a r k and
Wimbledon Common. The c l u b owns 10
wh is t lds7
* w h i c h are u s e d for in t roduc ing
newcomers to the spor t . It is a group
member of the B r i t i s h Or ien teer ing
F e d e r a t i o n , and four of the c l u b are
i n d i v i d u a l members o f B O F .
O n l y two members o f the c l u b , A l a n
L e a k e y and D a v i d R o s e n , ' h a d had any
s ign i f i can t o r ien teer ing exper ience
before the c l u b w a s formed. However ,
many of the newcomers are a l ready
p roduc ing good resu l t s and R o b A l l i n s o n
i s w e l l on the way to a c h i e v i n g a
go ld s tandard . A l a n L e a k e y has been
running very c o n s i s t e n t l y , rare ly
m i s s i n g a ' g o l d ' t ime. D a v i d R o s e n has
been hav ing h i s most s u c c e s s f u l
s e a s o n , and i s cur ren t ly c l e a r leader
of the South E a s t ' G a l l o p p e n ' , hav ing
won three of the four e v e n t s .
Members have a l s o competed for the
U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n Or ien tee r ing C l u b
i n seve ra l major c h a m p i o n s h i p s i nc l ud i n g
the. M i d l a n d , Southern and S c o t t i s h .
F o u r from I C were at the J a n K j e l l s t r o i m
In ternat ional Or ien tee r ing weekend in
s e e n to be Immediately re levan t , the at tendance f igures might d rama t i ca l l y change .
Union C o u n c i l
The 'management ' of Imperial C o l l e g e Un ion Is ves ted in a commit tee of about 40 s tudents ( ICU C o u n c i l ) . T h i s may appear to be . d e m o c r a t i c , but C o u n c i l cannot c l a i m to be representa t i ve of Un ion Members (Members represent the bodies who e l e c t them). In many i ns t anc e s C o u n c i l erupts into e x p l o s i o n s of f l ippancy , w h i c h are unbecoming to the management commi t tee .
D e c i s i o n s made by a large group of people (who have not a l w a y s cons ide red the fu l l Impl icat ion of the i r vot ing) may s u p e r f i c i a l l y be democra t i c , but may not be in the best in terests of the U n i o n .
It is d l f fucu l t for people to hold their concent ra t ion for longer than 2 hours , and c a n resul t in incorrect d e c i s i o n s be ing made, w h i c h wou ld put C o u n c i l into d i s r e p u t e . Y e t , meet ings las t about 5 hours , and have occured roughly every 3, weeks dur ing th is s e s s i o n . In a d d i t i o n , the large t ime committment to a t tend ing the meet ing may unfor tunate ly d i scou rage some s tudents from he lp ing the U n i o n , and may a l s o not a l l ow C o u n c i l Members to adequate ly read d i s c u s s i o n papers re levant to i s s u e s be ing cons ide red at the M e e t i n g .
the L a k e d i s t r i c t at E a s t e r , and a week
la te r , f i ve from the C o l l e g e took part
in the B U S F Champ ions h ip s at S t i r l i ng .
Here , D a v i d R o s e n won the Ind iv idua l
r ace , and the next day was a member
of the w inn ing U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n
Team in the r e l a y .
F o r the next yea r , the c l u b hopes to
cont inue to grow and there i s
a l ready news of a keen or ien teer coming
to the C o l l e g e next term. L a s t term, we
were fortunate to be able to use the
A C C min ibus on three o c c a s i o n s and
there w a s a no t i ceab le improvement i n
c l u b sp i r i t when we were a l l ab le to
t rave l together. It i s hoped that we w i l l
be ab le to u s e the min ibus e v e n more
regu lar ly in future. We have been
fortunate in ga in ing a lot o f support
from members o f the c ross -coun t ry
c l u b and P e t e Johnson i s a member of
both commi t tees . Nex t year we w i l l
a l s o try to encourage regular p a r t i c i
pa t ion by peop le who are l e s s a t h l e t i c a l l y
minded but who jus t en joy a s t ro l l i n
the count ry . We have had very l i t t l e
response from the women at C o l l e g e
and th is i s another group that we w i l l
be v igo rous ly encou rag ing .
Colours for 1975— 76 were awarded to:-
Full: Alan Leakey
Half: Rob Allinson
John G ibbins
Pete Johnson
Steve Webb
Mike Welford
The Committee for 1975— 76 was
Captain : David Rosen
Secretary : Alan Leakey
Treasurer : John Gibbins
Transport Officer: Mike Welford
D a v i d R o s e n
S l i gh t mis-management of a Un ion may be cons ide red democra t i c , but the rea l danger Is that the resu l t can be that the who le Un ion management is ignored by the par t ies wh i ch it s e e k s to he lp and that is not democracy . Reduc t i on of the s i z e of C o u n c i l a n d / o r an even s t r i c te r cont ro l on reports to C o u n c i l (more Work ing P a r t i e s , w i th reports being taken as read) cou ld great ly improve a s i t ua t i on w h i c h has s e v e r a l t imes been c h a o t i c dur ing the last three y e a r s !
Committeee Management
I somet imes ponder on a q u e s t i o n : "Why do Intelligent people resort to the use of Standing Orders to conduct meetings?" Is th is rea l l y good democracy , when some members are d i s t rac ted through boredom?
Shou ld a cha i rman a l w a y s remain s i l e n t ? Is there supposed to be some element of d i s c r e t i o n s o that the bus iness can be e x p e d i t e d . Of c o u r s e , the Cha i rman runs the r i sk of be ing c h a l l e n g e d , provided that the Commi t tee is a l e r t , w h i c h it shou ld be !
E x e c u t i v e or sub-Commi t tee d e c i s i o n s shou ld be a c c e p t e d , not d i s c u s s e d a g a i n . Howeve r , the power to over-ru le a d e c i s i o n must a l w a y s be ves ted in the super io r body.
G o r d o n J a c k s o n
Parker's Piece
T H E N E W postgraduate grants for
1976/77 were announced to the Commons
by Mr M u l l e y , Secretary of State for
E d u c a t i o n , on Monday . T h e s e br ing the
va lue of a L o n d o n s tudentsh ip to £1,380
(p rev ious ly £1,180) . F o r s tudents ou ts ide
L o n d o n the new figure is £1,270 (£1,085)
and for t? bse l i v i n g at home £^25 (£790) .
In the light, of recent wage res t ra in ts
by the Government and the U n i o n s , a
r i se of 17% might, at f i rs t s ight seem
qu i te reasonab le . It is only when one
looks more deep ly into these f igures that
one r e a l i s e s how c r i m i n a l l y l ow they a r e .
L a s t month, new undergraduate ( U G )
f igures were announced w h i c h gave them
a grant for the next academic year of
£955 for L o n d o n , an 18% r i s e . T h i s i s
1% more than the percentage P G r i s e .
T h i s i s an insu l t in i t se l f , but even more
so when one c o n s i d e r s that the U G
grant is a l ready h igher than a P G grant
i n terms of " r e a l " week l y a l l o w a n c e .
Some reshuf f l i ng of U G a l l o w a n c e s has
been made so that it w i l l not be wor thwh i le
to c l a i m S o c i a l Secur i ty dur ing the
Chr i s tmas and E a s t e r v a c a t i o n s .
E v e n w i th th is taken into accoun t , the
real va l ue of an .UG grant for the 31
week statutory term time w i l l be £27.90
per week . A P G w i l l rece ive £26.53
over the who le year . When one adds to
this the a v a i l a b i l i t y of demonstrat ing
w h i c h i s r e s t r i c t e d , and the fact that
U G s have an opportuni ty to earn large
amounts dur ing the summer v a c a t i o n ,
the new f igu res appear even more absurd .
F o r L o n d o n s tudents there are ex t ra
d i f f i c u l t i e s as the vaSue o f the L o n d o n
we igh t ing in percen tage terms has
a c t y a l l y been reduced .
One can on ly conc lude from these
f igures that the Goverment puts l e s s
Continued on page 6
Well known after
only a year
X
De IF Only Collum ONCE AGIN, despite de end o' teim fateeg I'am reachin' fo' de crayon box an' gittin' de Big Boys book o' Adjectives f'om under de short table leg. Trouble wid dishin' out de amazin' prose an' politerkal comment (showin' great unnerstandin') each week is de studes commin' roun' de fron' door ev'ry Friday pm yellin' fo' de nex masterpiece. I not falliri' into de overproduction trap. If I can't manage to cobble together de 'maculate english fo' de Felics then de life aint worth .botherin' 'bout. De TP collum de only thin' wot am makin' de kew fo' de squash corts tollerable on de Friday mornin's. I noticin' aftah mah comments on de efforts bein' printed f'om de IF chicks dat de standard o' de aforesaid artikal risin' dramatically as de truth sinkin' in dwon in Cromwell Mews. De fear o' de great Pres commin' roun' t' sort dem out 'avin' mirakeruless effects on de outputs. Trouble am, not
I enouff emphersis bein' put on de correc' an' proper use o' english dese days. Po' a starters, even I noticin de mix up wid de odd english word croppin' up in de coloquial froggy. As fo' de 'Pee Ess' bit tacked on de end, I 'avin' to send it down de interperators to git de translation, only to find out it some comment 'bout me. Strikin' me it a bit. to much like de dreaded contempt. Time to git de Presidential Luger out o' de safe deposit box an' arrestin' de affendin' items wid de NUS thu gs. Any more o' dis an we goin' t' 'ave to re-instate de special tribunerals run by de reliable druncks font de Union Bar, issued wid de card sayin', 'Good mornin' miss, I see yo' am pleadin' guilty. De penalty am death, but seein' as yo' f'om de famous IF I willin' to here de excuses an' special circumstances roun' de back o' de Gym aftah de hearin'. Alterertaverly, we bustin' in on de amazin' Julia Ross while she soakin' in de sunken bath o' asses milk an' chuckin' de fan heater in an' turnin' de whole schmozzle into de giant size milk shake. I not normally in de habit o' reply in' to de critics on account o' de fac' dat it beneaf de diggernity o' us low creative talents to ascend to de high level o' de oppersition wot am racked wid de jealosy over de crappy artikals wot I gen'rally issue each week.
Not dat de IF got all de visual talent roun' de college RCS got de Chesty Morral wid de inderpendant fron' suspension, Mines got de H Matress, an' de Guilds got de prize winnin' rag collecter wid de bum yo' can stand de tea cup on.
Back to business. I noticin' your Union thinkin' o' rebellin' an' pullin' outta de LSO, not dat it worry in' de Andrew Previn an' his banjo band, but some o' us needin' de cash, not f mention de prestigue o' controllin' de IC Union an' de ULU at de same time, also de numerous other colleges in de orchestrah. De P Teague am to tight wid de cash fo' de LSO suberscriptions, wot ensurin' a years free f'om lef wing subversion an' visitin' rugby teams puttin' de boot in. It called protection in de trade. Anyway, wot five hunered softees to a big rich union like yo's. On de other hand, by de time all de different committees discussed it, like de UFG, ICU UGM, de RCC, SCAB, ACC, SCC, CCU, AAC, UFO, an' such like I not Surprised yo' reluctant to give it to me. Judgin' by de amounts o' alcohol consumed at de all-night Counsel meetin's, it am
a wunder to me dat yo' can come to any descissions at all, even wid holdin' de vote in de khazi.
Thinkin' o' takin' de holiday to get away f'om all de tension but I y'am wunderin' 'bout de reliability o' de NUF Travel Service. I would feel happier if dey'd let me on de flight deck pussonly to check dat de navegater got de AA continental handbook open at de right page fo' sunny Barcerlona an' a newly magnitized nittin' needal in de compass. Also dat de pilot got de handbook open de right way up. Las' year I aimin' to Trinidad but endin' up in Prestwick aftah de good engin' packin' up on de NUS Charter Dakota. De Stewerdess stuff not much good either, we not gittin' de tastefull Martinis an' de prawn salads served at de beck an' call, all dey managin' is de pile o' ready wrapped sarnies tossed out o' de cardbord box. I dunno. Might be better stickin' to de Coconut Airways aftah all.
I hearin' nasty rumours bein' put roun' by people wid moufs wot am so big as to be hazerdous to de healf. Dey sayin' de revoltin' Rick Perker am churnin' out dese gramatical goodies, well, he can't sharpen his pencel widdout causin' multiple lasserations to de fingers, an as fo* suggestions dat de P Teague writin' it, I sayin' cobblers, he could n't even keep de Peters Patter collum goin' fo' more dan 2 weeks. De controversy am over. De mighty lips am sealed an' it likely dat dis am de lars' artikal wot I cobblin' together fo' de Felics. It never really 'predated. D E Pong an' D Susss guy always missin' out de vital lines an 'addin' de misprints an' such like. I thinkin' de proof readers
Trevor Phillips: ICU President 1974-7?
only bo ther in ' w i d de head l i n e s a n ' de
page numbers. I s i c k a n ' t i red o ' d i s h i n '
out de threats to improve de s tandard o '
v a r i - t y p i n ' . T h i s time it am fo ' r e a l . I
commin ' roun ' de F e l i c s o f f i c e s nex
T u e s d a y to do a few i r repa i rab le
ad justments to de of f set l i tho an '
t ie a few knots in de proof readers
f i nge rs .
We l l , I o f f fo ' de quiet game o ' darts
in de U n i o n B a r , den back on de 14
bus fo ' downtown H o l b o r n , now where
am de b lowp ipe?
T P
<7 F Only?. Alice through the E E C
. ONE DAY ALICE happened, just to be climbing up a steep, steep wooded mountainside. She took out her pocket television set and saw that Mr Wilson (ie Callaghan) was about to hold a referendum on the Eurovision Song Contest — could we bear the excrutiating pain of it each year anTi could Cliff Richard still go on representing us now that he is an OAP?
Alice realised this would have a direct bearing on the Marche Commun, in which, she felt, we must remain. However, she came across Le Tigre Presque Mort and was very concerned, seeing as she had campaigned vehemently to stop the IC1 from giving dogs cigarettes to smoke! She wept'buckets and tears and asked the Tigre why he was nearly dead. He managed to stutter a few words "The c . . c... Contest., .c... cruelty", of course Alice immediately linked this with the subject of the Referendum and rang up the RSPCA to enquire whether such singing could have such a drastic effect on animals. She used a trunk call, naturally, because she was in a forest — the line was engaged.
A few steps further on she began to hear music "How sweet", she thought, "A Christmas carol". But soon, soon the
dreadfu l truth f i l t e red through. It was the
German team f l e x i n g the i r v o c a l chords
for the con tes t w i t h 'O T a n n e n b a u m ' .
Horror upon horrors in true song con tes t
s t y l e each team had d e c i d e d to copy
each other, hence the F r e n c h v e r s i o n
'Mon B e a u S a p i n ' . The who le wood
resounded w i th the dreadfu l cacophony , so
A l i c e sang the ' R e d F l a g ' l i k e a good
S o c i a l i s t and a l s o because it happens to
be the same tune.
She then t r ied the st ra ight l i ne test
wh i ch i n d i c a t e s whether one has l os t
o n e ' s equ i l i b r i um due to horrendous
n o i s e s — she f a i l e d m i s e r a b l y . L e t there
be a moral there.
A s you have probably g u e s s e d , the
mountain w a s an E E C But te r mountain and
so it w i l l not surp r i se you that soon she
came upon an E E C Wine L a k e . What will
surpr ise you i s that there was a R e d
Indian s a i l i n g or c anoe in g on i t ! E x p l a n a
t ions wered needed . " B i g . c h i e f - j a m - b u t t y -
say-much-b i t te r - fo r -bu t t i s - in -european-
b u t t y - c i u b " ( E E C to i n t e l l e c t u a l s ) . E e k
by G u m ! e x c l a i m e d A l i c e , as she learnt
that everyone w a s now i n the E E C .
E x c e p t L e T i g r e P r e s q u e Mort , who had
jus t d e c i d e d to s top p l a y i n g s i l l y - b i l l i e s .
Continued on page 11
4 una
we daren't print
at the time :
About Mooney Food? Union officials S i r , - A s I left the Un ion
Lower Refec to ry last Thursday
(27th May, 3.35pm approx.)
w i t h , in one hand, my (late)
d inner , w h i c h I had just
purchased, to go into the
Lower Lounge where a f r iend
was wa i t ing for me, I no t i ced
a pool of water on the foyer
f loor. To my amazement I
found that I w a s s tand ing in
it, and it w a s growing larger
by the s e c o n d , being supp l i ed
by a f i re hose . The one end of
th is hose was connec ted to
the water s u p p l y ; at the other
was a member of the G u i l d s
Union( ! ) Na tu ra l l y , my food
became rather dampened by
th is not too p leasan t expe r ience ;
and I, not f ind ing the
re fec to ry ' s cu l i na ry s ta tus the
peak of a gourmet 's de l igh t
at the best of t imes , ce r ta in l y
was not go ing to eat i ts
produce after the whole
bloody p late had been
water logged.
I requested that the person
d i rec t l y r espons ib l e for the
aquat i c even ts buy me another
plate of sausage and c h i p s .
He re fused . I pointed out
that the o r i g i na l s were now a
good deal mois ter and about
60 degrees co lde r than
p r e v i o u s l y . H e s t i l l r e fused ,
but s a i d that, and I quote ,
" t h e y look a l r igh t to m e . "
H e then, a long w i th other
members of h i s company,
proceeded to eat some of the
c h i p s , and the s a u s a g e ,
ma in ta in ing that they were
" O . K . " .
Amongst h i s con federa tes
at the t ime were M e s s r s
A h l e r s , H o y l e , and D e a r i n g ,
to name the most r ecogn i sab le
ones , the three p res iden ts
(past , present , and future,
so to speak) of the i l l u s t r i ous
G u i l d s U n i o n , who a l l seemed
to v i e w the inc iden t as
be ing humourous. N o doubt I
too wou ld have found it
funny if I had been p i s s e d out
of my head .
I, however , was sober
and hungry and wet . And not
be ing in the leas t bit keen on
wet , c o l d refectory c h i p s ,
was merely p i s s e d off.
I remain, hungr i l y , you rs ,
I V O R P L A T O R - S O G G Y C H I P S
Re: FELIX DINNER
Dear Moron ,
I dont mind not get t ing a
compl imentary to your annual
abor t i on , but I do ob jec t to
being referred to a s " Y o u r
H e n c h m a n " e s p e c i a l l y as
it w a s on ly through me that
you got a b loody guest speaker
in the f i rs t b loody p l a c e . 1
hope you get an unexp loded
frankfurter in your bloody mea l .
And if you th ink for one moment
that th i s error can be a l l e v i a t e d
by your coming wh in ing to my
door c rav ing f o r g i v e n e s s ,
you ' ve got another th ing
c o m i n g .
I fart in your genera l
d i r e c t i o n .
Y o u r s ,
L U I G I .
Re: ICU Elections notice printea
on the front cover of FELIX No.
411 with the incorrect date as to
when nominations closed.
Dear P i n g - P o n g
Y O U IDIOT - Y O U M O R O N
- Y O U C R E T I N . Y O U H A V E
A B O U T A S M U C H I N T E L L
I G E N C E A S A S U P R I S E P E A !
A s your l i the supp le brain
w i l l have grasped by now you
rea l l y c o c k e d up the e l e c t i o n s
bit on the front page last
F r i d a y . I respec t fu l l y request ,
and if you don ' t comp ly , I
s h a l l remove some parts of
your anatomy, that you put
that right - IN L A R G E
L E T T E R S next F r i d a y .
Y o u rea l l y rocketed to new
he igh ts of mediocr i ty w i th
that A B O M I N A T I O N !
I hope you can read th is -
if you c a n ' t , I'll send over a
copy in b r a i l l e .
John (annoyed).
THANKS
C o l i n Gr imshaw of the A u d i o — V i s u a l A i d s sec t i on in E l e c Eng wou ld l i k e to convey h i s s incere thanks to IC U n i o n for award ing him Honorary L i f e Membersh ip of the Un ion and s o c i a l c o l o u r s .
NOTICE
Pos tg radua tes p l e a s e note
that there w i l l be an i s s u e
of F E L I X pub l i shed on
F r i day Ju ly 16th. A l l
cont r ibu t ions for th is i s s u e
must reach the F E L I X o f f i ce
by 12 noon on F r i d a y 9th
J u l y .
F R E E
Desk — to whoever wants
it . R i n g 837 8375.
Clje Creeb I B e l i e v e in Schrodinger, the Physicist Almighty.
Equator of Eigenfunctions and waves,
And in his only equation incorporating Del squared P s i ,
Which was conceived in the bath, borne onto virgin paper,
Suffered under differential Calculus, was formulated, equated, and solved,
It failed under relativity; but on the third day it rose again,
And transcended Classical Mechanics,
And sitteth at the centre of Atomic Physics with solutions weighty.
From whence it will come to fox the quick and the slow.
I Believe in the Royal Society, the Royal College of Science, the commutation of observable.
The analyses of four vectors, the radiation of a Black Body and the functions everlasting
Amen
From the "Author" of ' T H E C R E E D ' Comes:
A silly Soliloquy of Shakespeare, for Tired and Torpid Followers of Physics.
Hamlet:
Div D or not Div D — that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The reflections and translations of outrageous lattices,
Or to take ions against a cell of atoms,
And by transposing end them? to ionize, to excite —
No more; and by an excitation to say we add
The energies and the thousand thermal shocks
That matter is heir to. ' T i s a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To Ionize, to excite;
To excite, perchance to plasma. Ay there's the rub;
For in that excitation of ions what plasmas may form,
When we have shuffled off this magnet's coi l , Gerald Taranto II
Must give us 'Gauss' . Soc Sec 'GAD Soc'.
It's A Caribbean
Connection
on Friday 2nd July
8.00pm till 2.00am
with
T H E C I M A R O N S , T H E
M E L T O N E S , C A R I B E S
L I M B O D U O . R A P H A E L
C H E R R I E C A f Y P S O B A N D .
DJ: S T E V E B A R N A R D , of
RadioLondon
Car i bbean food , late bars
and d i s c o .
T i c k e t s : £1 from Student
U n i o n O f f i c e , R C A .
X 5
Quotes of
the Year
/����� �� ����
P h i l Dean ( F E L I X �� � ���� ��� ���� ��� ����� � � ���� ����� � — Two
C h r i s Morre l l
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( R C S P r e s i d e n t - e l e c t )
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R e : Photography �=�� ������ A���' 3$4 %& �������� ���� ���� > ! ��'��?@AB ( ����'�� 5������ ����� � - a we l l - known co l l ege admin is t ra tor
R e : Typography (of cou rse ! ) �C�� "�� �� D �����/ ��/����� ����� E� ��"��� � > G i l l McConway
( F e l i x staf f )
R e : Danci ng C lub
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R e : F E L I X �=��� ��������� �S S$ ������ $3 ����Sub-Ed i to r )
R e : R C S Elections A: e$M fghij k l���/ �� �������� � �"����� �11 m ��� �� �� ���� ������ nopnq ��wel l -known R C S p e r s o n a l i t i e s
R e : (dubious) �2 �� �$� ������ �� ���/ ��/����r �R e : C a p i t a l i s m
7 stuv \w x^ yz{| \ww} - Mary At tenborough ( IC Communis t
Soc ie ty )
R e : I l is g i r l - f r i end ' s room-mate
7 ~��� � S(J K4 ��"� �� K# U (5 ������� ����I ULK ��'�� (S�� �]^ ����� x^ ��� �� x^�} — Ter ry Westoby ( F E L I X A r t s Ed i to r )
R e : N U S Con fe rence �C�� ��� �$� � ���� �$ ��'� �����'� �'� nopn� 5������� 3$4��� \]^ ����� ��� �^\ �w� ' — Sue S l ipman ( N l i S Secretary)
R e : Ter ry -Thomas in terv iew �!� US �$� ���/ �$ ����� ���� ( %(� ����� ����� ���� ( U TMark C a l d w e l l
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P u b l i c a t i o n s Dept . )
R e : The F E L I X E d i t o r
' e$M '��� JK& ¤ K ������ S$ ��"� ���� �� �K ����"�6 K¥¦§ ¨© �^\ ]�� ª«¬ w�\® } d Dave Hopk ins ( F E L I X N e w s - E d i t o r )
R e : G u i l d s D inner and Dance �=��/ ¯���� M° 3$4 �� � (� !± U — P a u l Ekpenyong
Re: (dubious) ²³´µ¶· ���� � "������� 3$4 ( ���� 3$4 %U T L i n d a R o u s s e l
( C o l l e g e B l o c k P u b l i c a t i o n s dept.)
R e : ( l u i l ds P r e s i d e n t s ¸¹º»¼½̧ �K �� �¾ ��� $3 ( ¿�� ��(Subwarden T i za rd H a l l )
R e : A ce r ta in young lady U!� �� / ��'�� 5 ������� �& ÀÁÂà ÄB u s i n e s s Manager)
R e : the ed i tor of a ce r ta in U n i o n p u b l i c a t i o n
7���� �K ������� ������ �� K�S $J� ������
( F E L I X staff)
R e : C l i v e D e w e y , who asked him i f he wanted tea ÅÆÇÈÉÊ ����r ! UË $� ������/ �������� �$ ÌÍÎÏÐ-Paul Ekpenyong
R e : (dubious) �C�� ���� �$� �"��� % 3$4 ( ÑÒÓÔÕ — P a u l Ekpenyong
7 ��� � �$� �"��� &$M 3$4 ( �(�!! U — Duncan S u s s
R e : (dubious) cÖc× � x�\ w� � \�\Ø bÙt ` Ú̀ c Û P a u l E k p e n y o n g
R e : Dave C h a n c e (see last w e e k ' s iront page) �H��� � JK$ ��� �� � ����" � ������ ���� �� �� ����� ���� � TSteve Br ightman
R e : Jo int C o u n c i l �� ������ ������ �$ �������� K�S ������ � T N i c k B r a y s h a w
(in the cha i r )
H��������Þ � Ron K i l l
Duncan Suss ( F E L I X
— Ian Morse
Chemical Arson-
The Truth (See F E L I X No . 408 about the story of the truant who t r ied to
burn down the Chemis t r y B u i l d i n g . )
L a s t week s attempt to burn down the Harwood l ab w a s
greeted w i th wav e s o f apathy from the occupan ts of the lab .
The would-be f ire bug was roundly condemned, the fo l l ow ing
comments are t y p i c a l —
" W e shou ld have let the whole bloody thing burn d o w n . "
" H e shou ldn ' t have set f i re to i t , he c o u l d have pushed
it d o w n . "
I c a n now revea l that the man beh ind the arson attempt
was none other than Dr 'Godfa ther ' K i r kb r i gh t , the top man
in ana l y t i ca l chemis t r y .
The doctor gave the fo l l ow ing statements at va r ious
t imes —
" M a k e an appo in tmen t . "
' 'Sorry must r u s h . "
" I ' m due at a m e e t i n g . "
" N o I'm not the 'Mr B i g ' behind th is arson attempt, even
though we have .run out of money for the new chemis t ry
b l o c k . "
" N o that was not me moving an op to -acous t i c spectrometer
back into the bu i l d ing after Dr F l e e t had fo i l ed the arson
a t tempt . "
The youth r espons ib l e was of course Dr A d a m s , d i s g u i s e d
in dark g l a s s e s . Dr Adams is N o . 2 in the K i rkb r igh t 'B ro ther
hood ' (or shou ld it be the Pe rsonhood? )
W I L L T H E R E B E F U R T H E R A T T E M P T S T O D E M O L I S H
T H E H A R W O O D L A B ?
Dr K i rkb r igh t i s cur rent ly work ing on the a n a l y s i s o f
n i t rog lycer ine by atomic absorp t ion . Dr F l e e t is cove r ing
g l a s s y carbon e l ec t r odes wi th mercury fu lm ina te . .
A . H .
Monster hunt at
Loch Morar Students who attended T i m
D i n s d a l e ' s talk on }ß]^5��� 3$4 �K à�"� á���âãäå æçè é (IC Natura l H is to ry
S o c ) , w i l l r e c a l l that he lp
i s needed for th is yea r ' s
hunt. L o c h Morar has a s im i l a r
'mons te r ' t rad i t ion to L o c h
N e s s , and a l s o has the
advantage of c r ys ta l c l e a r
water for much improved
underwater work . The 1976
L o c h Morar E x p e d i t i o n i s
be ing run by members of
R o y a l Ho l l oway C o l l e g e ,
a s s i s t e d by students from
E a l i n g T e c h , and e l s e w h e r e .
More par t i c ipan ts are requi red
for the e x p e d i t i o n , w h i c h w i l l
run through June , J u l y , and
Augus t . Whatever your pe rsona l
v i e w s on the p resence or
absence o f 'mons te rs ' i n
S c o t t i s h l o c h s , you may be
at t racted by the idea of
spend ing a week or two i n
the h igh lands th is year . M i k e
P a r s o n s of R o y a l Ho l l oway i s
o rgan i s ing student membership
in L o n d o n , and I have r ece i ve d
c o p i e s of the e x p e d i t i o n ' s
a p p l i c a t i o n forms and 1975
report for d i s t r i bu t i on amongst
in terested pa r t i es . T h e s e can
be ob ta ined from myse l f —
Dept o f Z o o l o g y , room 2.4
( in te rna l phone, 2481).
J im Brock
(P res iden t Nat H i s t Soc)
W E L F A R E W A F F L E I s h a l l be keep ing the
Welfare Cent re open one day
a week dur ing the summer
h o l i d a y s . T h i s w i l l be every
Wednesday from 12.30 —
1.30pm in the usua l p l a c e : at
the top of the Un ion B u i l d i n g .
If you want to contact me at
any other t ime, r ing the
Un ion O f f i c e .
Do not forget that you can
c l a i m s o c i a l secur i t y a s
before th is summer. T h e new
regu la t ions do not come into
e f fec t un t i l Oc tober . L e a f l e t s
exp la i n i n g the procedure and
con ta in ing add resse s of l o c a l
employment and s o c i a l
secur i ty o f f i c e s are a v a i l a b l e
at the centre as w e l l as
informat ion on l e g a l , accom
modat ion , consumer p rob lems,
e t c .
P l e a s e a l s o come to the
Cen t re or leave a message at
the U n i o n O f f i c e i f you are a
w i l l i n g babys i t te r or wou ld
l i ke to help out once a week
at the Centre next yea r .
T h a n k s muchly
S U E K A L I C I N S K I
u n a
The long hard year The end of a l ong , hard year looms
p l e a s i n g l y ahead as I put pen to paper for
the l a s t ed i tor ia l o f the s e s s i o n . It i s not
w i th sobs and s n i f f l e s that I look forward
to my imminent departure a s ed i tor of
th i s paper, but w i th a s i g h of re l i e f .
U n l i k e my p redecesso r I do not w i s h
to ep i logue at l eng th . I hope that my
s u c c e s s o r has , or i f he has not yet done
s o , w i l l l ea rn from the m i s t a k e s I made .
F E L I X I b e l i e v e i s now f i rmly e s t a b l i s h e d
in i t s present form and I hope it con t inues
to p lay i t s important role w i t h i n the
U n i o n i n a respons ib l e and c o n s t r u c t i v e
manner.
Tha t off my ches t I shou ld l i k e to
thank a l l those peop le who have he lped
me throughout the year e s p e c i a l l y J e n
Hardy-Smi th , R i z Shak i r , P e t e r T e a g u e ,
John Downs (desp i te h i s i n s u l t s ) and
the P u b l i c a t i o n s department of c o l l e g e .
I cannot depart however , wi thout a few
comments about the F E L I X s ta f f who
have worked s o l i d l y throughout the year
w i th almost Spar tan- l i ke fervour . T h e y are:
Ian Morse (offset l i tho operator) , for
whom women are o b s t a c l e s to be sur»
mounted and who th inks Q P R are the
bes t footba l l team around; G i l l M c C o n w a y
a sports fanat ic whose pet hates are
Mooney food and bad handwr i t i ng ; P h i l
D e a n , who l i v e s more i n B e x h i l l and
d i d not of ten get pas t the o f f i ce on the
way to the P h y s i c s dept ; Ter ry Westoby,
our A r t s E d i t o r who swears he never
ed i t ed any th ing ; Duncan S u s s , a Mancun ian
w i t h a wry s e n s e of humour and c o u l d
sc rew money out of Scrooge; N i g e l
W i l l i a m s , whose grey photos a l w a y s sent
P h i l and Ian up the w a l l ; D a v e K n i g h t s ,
who t a l k s and laughs in s e v e n d i f ferent
o c t a v e s ; Dave F o x a l l , who p o s s e s s e s
the most e x t e n s i v e vocabu la ry of abuse
I've ever come a c r o s s and ea ts l i ke a
horse ; John M c C l o s k e y , an Abbot t a le
freak whose ambi t ion i s to own a motorb ike
shop and th inks that puk ing i s therapeut ic ;
C l i v e D e w e y , who has a penchant for
C o l l e g e admin b i rds and has a very
spr ingy head ; T o m S tevenson , who can
make F E L I X sound l i k e The Times
over the phone and hates me head l i n i ng
h i s reviews; Andrew H a l l , l i te ra ry Sports
E d i t o r who never seemed to qui te
understand how I became edi tor ;
C h r i s S imester (a l i as H i e ) , who coughed
up a lot of rev iews a g a i n th is year ; and
f i na l l y Dave H o p k i n s , our Welsh N e w s
E d i t o r who i s somet imes found s i ng ing
crude rugby songs over the internal-
ex tens ions in the F E L I X o f f i c e .
L a s t but by no means l e a s t , a very
s p e c i a l thank you to my C R I T I C S — may
they l i ve long and w e l l .
P a u l Ekpenyong
Continued from page .2
Parkers Piece y a l u e on P G educat ion than on U G
educa t i on . A f te r three y e a r s on a U G
grant P G s are expec ted to take a further
cut in l i v i n g s tandards f a a further
three or more y e a r s . It wou ld not be
su rp r i s i ng i f the demand for research
p l a c e s dropped and s t i l l l e s s so i f the
Government used th is as an e x c u s e
for further c u t s . I am sure no P G expec ts
nor needs a f i n a n c i a l i ncen t i ve to do the
work he or she d o e s , but the f i n a n c i a l
deterrent of the present l e v e l of f i nanc ing
requi res a lot of en thus iasm and d e d i c a t i o n
to beat i t . In future, th is l e v e l of sub
s i s t e n c e w i l l be to le ra ted by an ever
d i m i s h i n g , if ded i ca ted , f ew .
It i s hard ly su rp r i s ing that many
good graduates opt for industry where
they c a n earn £2,500 to £3,500 or more
in their f i r s t year , of ten hav ing the
opportuni ty to ob ta in hgher q u a l i f i c a t i o n s
and"degrees at the same t ime.
T h e 17% r i se in grants represents on ly
an 11% r ise in the expendi ture on
s tuden t sh ips . T h e tota l i s a l ready low at
£24 m i l l i o n s , l e s s than the amount any
good na t i ona l i sed industry can l o s e in a
week .
R e s e a r c h and post degree educa t ion
are the core of our educa t ion s y s t e m . We
rely on these sec to rs to t ra in our
lec turers and those researchers who
cons tan t l y re f resh and advance the
body of knowledge a v a i l a b l e . T h e
Government is res t r i c t i ng the f low to the
core . Soon the educat ion sys tem w i l l be
a ho l l ow s h e l l f o l l ow ing stagnant
pa t te rns .
STOP THE ROT NOW!
R I C K P A R K E R
I C P G G Cha i rman
IMPERIAL COLLEGE STUDENTS UNION.
L O O K I N G F O R FLATS?
TEMPORARY ROOMS
will be available in Southside at the end of the summer vacation.
18-25 September 50p per night. COME TO T H E UNION OFFICE
10am-5pm on these days as
ROOMS ARE TO BE LET ON A CASUAL BASIS.
BRING A •
SLEEPING BAG
O D C K 1976 DO NOT BRING LARGE AMOUNTS OF LUGGAGE
FILIX 7
P R O F I L E S :
Paul Ekpenyong I ' V E B E E N teas ing P a u l a l l week tha t l ' d leave th is space
b lank , as a momento to h i s many spoof p a g e s . Tha t , though,
wou ld be too unk ind a gesture to someone w h o ' s put a tremendous
amount of work into the U n i o n ' s hardest sabba t i ca l j ob . So
here goes !
B e l i e v e it or not P a u l E s i e n Inang Uko reb i E k p e n y o n g (phew!)
was born in E a s t L o n d o n in 1953. Af ter va r i ous ' l i be ra l s t u d i e s '
at Tot tenham T e c h n i c a l C o l l e g e , P a u l came to I C in 1973,
supposed l y to study Ma themat i cs . H e soon r e a l i s e d th i s m is take
and reso l ved to make a big impact on the IC s o c i a l l i f e and the
a c t i v i t i e s of IC U n i o n . Three y e a r ' s later he can j u s t i f i a b l y
say he has s u c c e e d e d (even S i r B r i a n ' s secretary knows him
as P ingpong ) .
T o c a l l P a u l an a l c o h o l i c and a gourmet wou ld ce r ta in l y be
true, but that in i t se l f wou ld g l o s s over many a humerous o c c a s i o n .
A f te r a l l how wou ld you go about ce leb ra t i ng the fact that you
never get a hangover , however much booze you consumed?
P a u l ' s a l c o h o l i c in take has at t imes g iven r ise to many a
p recar ious s i t ua t i on , p a r t i c u l a r l y dur ing h i s year as F E L I X
E d i t o r . N e v e r t h e l e s s , d e s p i t e w a l k i n g a long and a c r o s s the tube
l i nes at West K e n s i n g t o n s ta t ion (after one too many g l a s s e s of
Abbot ) , and desp i te a rather arrogant encounter w i th a tax i
dr iver in Soho Square, w h i c h was on ly r e s o l v e d when P ingpon g
jumped onto the t a x i - c a b bonnet sc reaming ' take me to Soho '
(even he c a n ' t remember how much he ' d had to dr ink that n ight ) ,
P a u l has managed to su rv i ve h is year a s ed i tor .
One notable inc ident happened at the end of h is f i rs t term as
F E L I X Ed i t o r at a party g iven by R i c k y Graham and f r i ends .
P ingpong ar r i ved rather drunk, to put it p o l i t e l y , and proceeded
to down ha l f a bott le of w h i s k e y in two gu lps . M inu tes later he
was seen cha t t ing to John D o w n s and J u l i a R o s s . Apparen t l y he
managed to talk i n te l l i gen t l y for ha l f an hour before p a s s i n g out,
c l u t ch i ng a pint of lager ! Af ter be ing ca r r i ed home he dec ided to
wa lk into a shower f u l l y c l o t h e d .
O n o c c a s i o n s he has been s e e n sober, a l though he s t i l l
ma in ta ins frequent appearances in the Un ion B a r , desp i te the
fact that the bar staf f once d e c i d e d to s t r ip him after hours , and
desp i te frequent threats from h i s bank manager.
H i s ea t ing hab i ts are p robab ly l e s s w e l l - k n o w n , a l though
many students w i l l have g u e s s e d them after h is frequent journalist ic
a t tacks on Mr Mooney 's c a t e r i n g . Many res tauran ts , e s p e c i a l l y
the Great A m e r i c a n S u c c e s s , have a l s o expe r i enced the by
products of P a u l ' s gas t ronomic d i s s a t i s f a c t i o n . In fact h e ' s
a l w a y s comp la in ing about the hamburgers at G A S . He heated ly
bangs h i s f i s t on the tab le v a i n l y t ry ing to get the b i l l reduced .
He doesn ' t l i k e thei r m i l k shakes e i ther .
S loppy wa i te r s e r v i c e i s another source of annoyance to
P i n g p o n g , who at t imes has had to be fo rc ib ly res t ra ined from
a s s a u l t i n g w a i t e r s . Res tau ran ts aren ' t the only p l a c e s that
P a u l ' s got e v i c t e d from. Many o f h i s f r iends remember a ce r ta i n
event that took p lace at a West End C i n e m a . A spur ious comment
to an ex t remely vo luptuous doorg i r l saw P a u l and h i s f r iends
(who 'd a l ready pa id for thei r t i c ke t s ) promptly e v i c t e d from the
b u i l d i n g .
So far I haven ' t s a i d much about P a u l as an ed i to r , a l though
Tony Jones doesn ' t seem to have lef t me much room for manoeuvre .
P i n g p o n g has a great capac i t y for work, sure ly fos tered by h i s
unique a b i l i t y to go wi thout s leep for long p e r i o d s . He rare ly
d i s p l a y s any after e f f ec t s , a l though recent ly he has looked a
bit haggered (I don ' t th ink h e ' s learnt judo yet ) .
A s an ed i to r he ' s been a great source of insp i ra t ion to h i s
fe l low staf f members of the las t two years and has encouraged a
de lega t ion of r e s p o n s i b i l i t y (from copyreaders onwards) . H e ' s a
p l e a s a n t , humerous charac ter who gets on w e l l w i th p e o p l e . A
f r iend who ' s never a f ra id to make a fool of h imse l f i n the in te res ts
of h i s job ( just look at the quotes f i l e ) .
In h i s year as ed i to r , P a u l has done much to iron-out the
remain ing t e c h n i c a l d i f f i c u l t i e s of o f f se t - l i t ho , as w e l l as
ex tend ing the role that F E L I X p l a y s at I C . It is perhaps unfortunate
that he w i l l be remembered for the m is takes he has made
rather than the s tab i l i t y he has g i ven the paper .
U n l i k e the p redecesso r , who P a u l desc r i bes a s a ' n o s t a l g i c
s e n t i m e n t a l i s t ' , P i ngpon g i s a s e l f - c o n f e s s e d c y n i c , whose
intermit tent d is regard of women has often fou led up h i s
re l a t i onsh ips w i th the same. T h i s term h e ' s f i na l l y got h i s sex
l i f e sor ted out , a l though there was a time when he was f r a n t i c a l l y
wr i t i ng out programmes for the C D C computer i n an effort to get
h i s con fused ob jec t i ves s t ra igh tened out. So now you know why
the C D C ' s been 'go ing down ' recen t l y , i t ' s P a u l ' s l o v e - l i f e
s t re tch ing i ts f a c i l i t i e s !
Af ter 700 words I th ink I 've s a i d enough to dest roy P a u l ' s
c r e d i b i l i t y , and g iven y o u a c l e a r i dea of the man h imse l f . A l l
that remains to be done i s to gather together the remnants of th i s
yea r ' s staff and s i f t through the books that P a u l sugges ts I read
T h e la t ter inc lude How to get your bum^bitten ( tw ice) by an IF
President and Sensual Massage. Bo th are a v a i l a b l e from your
l o c a l C romwe l l Mews bookshop .
P S P a u l doesn ' t wr i te the T P co lumn .
C l i v e Dewey
(PPS: Really Clive, I wish you'de left this space blank or at least
presented me with an air ticket to Brazil (one way) — Paul.)
Mark
Caldwell " P L E A S E P A U L , C A N I H A V E T H E
F R O N T P A G E " i s a cry that I have
heard many a time th is year . It i nva r i ab l y
comes from no l e s s e r a person than
Mark C a l d w e l l , who h a s , for the pas t
two yea rs been the Cha i rman of S T O I C .
He is u s u a l l y trying to get one o f h i s
now famous "Film Talk" programmes
b lazened a c r o s s the front page of
F E L I X .
Mark i s the sort of chap that o l d
l ad i es refer to a s "Wha t a po l i t e young
m a n " , for he is po l i t e and ext remely
modest . A trai t >ne might not expec t to
f ind i n ' a media man.
Of ten seen strut t ing be tween the
S T O I C s tud ios and the U n i o n — l i n e s of
communica t ion are very tenuous these
days — Mark p resen ts the t y p i c a l image
of a p u b l i c s c h o o l boy . ( H e ' l l p robab ly
shoot me for say ing that because h is
opiniotv of these bas t ions of upper c l a s s
educa t i on is ext remely low. )
A l t hough he came here to s tudy
P h y s i c s , a sub jec t he does not f i nd
pa r t i cu l a r l y f a s c i n a t i n g , he has spent a
subs tan t i a l part of h is time i n v o l v e d
w i th S T O I C . F i r s t prompted by a S T O I C
not ice i n T o p i c w h i c h he found l y i n g
around in Keogh H a l l , he went one
produc t ion meet ing af ter another and has
not l ooked back s i n c e . Ne i the r has S T O I C .
H i s f i rs t in te rv iew proved abor t ive
when, after swe l te r ing under s tud io
l i gh ts for ha l f an hour, h i s i n te rv iewees
d idn ' t show up. H i s second in te rv iew
w i th Don Monro was i n h i s own words
" b l o o d y a w f u l " . S ince then h i s inter
v i ew ing techn ic has improved a l though
he has made inev i tab le s l i p s now and
then. O n c e , i n te rv iew ing P r o f L a i t h w a i t e
he muffed h i s th i rd ques t ion on the
fourth or f i f th re- take. P r o f L a i t h w a i t e
was "quite cutting" about the whole
a f fa i r .
Mark has s h i e d away in te rv iew ing
a c a d e m i c s s i n c e then and f inds l e s s of
a problem ta l k i ng to f i lm s ta rs a l though
they too can get out of h a n d . In te rv iewing
Barry Humphreys of Bar ry M c K e n z i e
fame, he had tea sp i l t on h i s notes by
Bar ry , who turned up d ressed in drag as
Dame E d n a E v e r i d g e . M a r k ' s comment
la te r was "How do you talk to a man
who pretends to be a woman?"
H i s many in te rv iewes inc lude M e l
B r o o k s who took off M a r k ' s g l a s s e s as
he was about to introduce a f i lm c l i p ,
Chr i s topher L e e who threatened to wa l k
off the in te rv iew if D r a c u l a w a s brought
into the conve rsa t i on and G l e n d a J a c k s o n
who threatened to poke h i s e y e s out w i th
the women 's l i b f l agpo le ! However , says
Mark , th i s la t ter i n te rv iew was h is most
en joyab le .
T h e " F i l m T a l k " s e r i e s , of w h i c h
these in te rv iews are a par t , has a c h i e v e d
a great d e a l of s u c c e s s and most of them
are made ou ts ide the C o l l e g e . T h e y are
broadcas t of f the I L E A ' S C h a n n e l 7
network and rep laced a rather s i m i l a r
but in fer ior programme they used to put
out.
A s w i th other med ia men, Mark i s
a lways worr ied about h i s a u d i e n c e .
A u d i e n c e ra t ings are a y a r d s t i c k by
wh ich a programme i s adjudged
s u c c e s s f u l . The formula that he has
found that works i s " n o i s y or d i r ty f i lm
c l i p s and b ig n a m e s " — the p r e c i s e
ingred ients of "Film Talk", he was
qui te chuf fed to f ind w e l l over 100
peop le s i t t i ng qu ie t l y i n the J C R watch ing
the re-run of the T i m Cur ry i n te r v i ew .
The s u c c e s s of S T O I C w i th "Film
Talk and the "Lunchbreak" magaz ine
programme has brought i t s rewards . T h e
Rec to r has taken a keen in te res t in
S T O I C s i nce be ing in te rv iewed and
the resu l t , af ter many le t te rs from Mark ,
i s that S T O I C now have use of ed i t i ng
f a c i l i t i e s cos t i ng about £6,000. In
add i t i on , "Film Talk" i s now an
"industry approved" programme; t h i s
f a c i l i t a t e s procurement of c l i p s for the
programmes.
H a s he en joyed be ing S T O I C C h a i r m a n .
Y e s . H e has been i n te rv iewed by B B C
R a d i o L o n d o n , ment ioned i n the E v e n i n g
N e w s and has a g low ing job re ference
from Bar ry B r o w n , producer of B B C ' s
F i l m N igh t . He i s current ly t ry ing to get
into one of the independent T V compan ies
— " a n y o n e w h i c h ' l l take m e " . I'm sure
that d e s p i t e h is l a c k of luck at the
moment he w i l l even tua l l y breakthrough
and F E L I X w i s h e s h im the bes t for the
future.
P a u l Ekpenyong
M U X
C R O S S W O R D No. 4 1 \ k. 3 • 7 4
M •i
a «3
IS B »
t*
•
IX
%• 5 »/
Si.
! [ 34-
!
A C R O S S
I. C 2 4 H 4 0 0 5 from b i l e
9. Sounds i f you are a l l ab le
to hear
I I . Great and form idable hobbi t
12. R e s u l t if 32 done
13. Not for drunken d r i v ing?
14. B a c k up g i r l (not qui te
on horse)
15. P u t extreme in c i r c u l a t i o n
17. G o back drunk
1 9 . T e n or a m i xed baroque
feature
21 . Annoy k i l l e r s ta tus of
B o n d ' s y e l l o w bi rd
25. Near l y h i l l hes i t a t i on seed
sca r .
27. T a r spencer
28 . P o n idge const i tuent
30. A l t e rna t i ve to s c i e n t i f i c
management
31. P r e f i x bad ly
32. R e s u l t i s 12
33. See boat but not qu i te
a t tack
3 4 . 6 tuts C a t h o l i c s , but makes it
Sorry f o l k s , rso p r i ze for t h i s
las t mind bender ! T h e so lu t i on
w i l l be p u b l i s h e d in the f i rs t
i s s u e of the autumn term.
Have a n i c e h o l i d a y !
No correct s o l u t i o n s were
r ec e i v e d for C r o s s w o r d N o . 40 .
So lu t ion to C r o s s w o r d N o . 40
DOWN
1. Take out a m i l . w i th c ry
of pain for ind ia- rubber
2. C h a s e s and more than s tun
3. F i s h eggs, to i ron sou rce
4. Is G u i n e s s a N i g e r i a n
ve r s i on of th is
5. A l e s s e r exam
6. K n o w but fool
7 . A n o i d e r o f p i l l a r
8. Dra t , h e l l , short of court
of s e s s i o n for s lu t s
10. A house god in large house
11. Speak something
16. A i d from loot
18. E q u a l looks c l o s e l y
20. Qu ie t instrument
22. T h e smal les t o f l i t te rs
23 . Go up in same o l d way
24. I t i s in 27, a feature, you
might say
26. More, or l e s s
27. P u t up wi th 24 i n i t i a l l y
29 .Me ta l from egg
31. G o up r iver through F e n
P o l y
It kU
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A < e IT b
F E L I X Published by the Editor on
behalf of I .C.Union Publication Board, printed Off-set Litho on the premises.
Fel ix Office,PrinceConsort Rd,
London SW7 2BB-
T e l . 01 589 S i l l ext 1048,1042
© F E L I X , 1976
E D I T O R : Paul Ekpenyong
Many thanks to G i l l McConway, Ian Morse, Phi l Dean, Duncan Suss, Dave Knights, Dave Hopkins, Terry Westoby, Dave Foxa l l . John McCloskey and Cl ive Dewey.
FOR SALE One 5ft x 6'4ft s l e e p e e z e e
Beauty res t D i v a n . T e n
years o l d . Any of fer
c o n s i d e r e d . Phone Dr M
St reat , int 3770.
The Academic
Hierarchy
A VICE CHANCELLOR
Leaps t a l l buildings ir. a single bound,
is more powerful than a locomotive,
is faster than a speeding b u l l e t ,
walks on water,
gives policy to God.
A HEAD OF DEPARTMENT
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
is more powerful than a shunting engine,
is just as fast as a speeding b u l l e t ,
walks on water i f sea is calm,
talks with God.
A PROFESSOR
Leaps short buildings with a running start
and favourable winds,
is almost as powerful as a shunting engine,
is faster than a speeding b u l l e t ,
walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
talks with God i f special request is approved.
A READER OR SENIOR LECTURER
Barely clears a prefabricated hut,
loses a tug of war with locomotive,
can f i r e a speeding b u l l e t ,
swims well,
i s occasionally addressed by God.
A LECTURER
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to clear
t a l l buildings,
i s run over by locomotive,
can someties handle a gun without injuring
himself,
dog paddles,
talks to animals.
A GRADUATE STUDENT
runs into buildings,
recognizes locomotives two times out of three,
i s not issued ammunition,
can stay afloat with a l i f e jacket,
talks to walls.
AN UNDERGRADUATE
Fa l l s over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
says look at the choo-choo,
wets himself with a water p i s t o l ,
plays in mud puddles,
mumbles to himself.
A DEPARTMENTAL SECRETARY
L i f t s buildings and walks under them,
kicks locomotives off the tracks,
catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them,
freezes water with a single glance,
she i s God.
M U X 9
Music
R e v i e w s
Your Mother
wouldn't like it... Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias
(Transatlantic)
T H E D E B U T A L B U M from e v e r y b o d y ' s
favour i te perver ts has so far had much
pub l i c i t y for i ts supposed ou t rageousness ,
not l e a s t by those guard ians of pub l i c
mora l i t y the News of the World and
Sunday People. L e t me keep you in
s u s p e n s e no longer — every th ing you
have read about the a lbum (that h a s
al ready been banned from WH Smi ths and
Boo ts ) i s true — w e l l a lmost . Y e s , there
are p lenty of four let ter wo rds , y e s the
songs are about s a d i s m , debauchery ,
bondage — you name i t , the A lbe r tos
cover it (a l l over ) .
C o u l d it be that the nat iona l p ress
have f i na l l y tw igged to the fact that
rock ' n ' r o l l mus i c has gone beyond the
the sweet s i x teen syndrome? O b v i o u s l y
they can ' t be aware that F rank Z a p p a
sa id it a l l over a decade ago wi th
p r i c e l e s s l i t t l e d i t t i e s l i ke 'Brown
Shoes Don't Make It', and as far as
four- let ter words go , he l l L e n n y Bruce
was l ay ing them down on v i ny l a good
Back Street Crawler - Second Street
(Atlantic)
IT W O U L D be n i c e to say that before
dy ing so t r ag i ca l l y on 18th May th is
year , P a u l K o s s o f f left us wi th a record
that was a monument to R o c k ' n ' R o l l .
S a d l y . th i s i s not so , w h i c h is not to
say th is i s a bad a lbum. In fact i t s an
album wh ich I found qui te en joyab le ,
a l though l ac k i n g any sort of o r i g i n a l i t y ,
(the band hav ing strong l ean ings toward
sy t le of B a d Company , w h i c h is i nev i t ab l e
I suppose) it con ta ins p lenty of h igh
octane energy and f e e l i n g , two super
l a t i v e s that become mandatory when
desc r ib ing any work P a u l K o s s o f f was
invo l ved i n .
T h e band i t s e l f i s t ight 'n 'hot w i th
Ter ry Wi l son on bass and Tony PI tunagel
on drums lay ing down a f i rm rhythm on
w h i c h John ' R a b b i t ' Bundr i ck bu i lds h i s
f ine keyboard work. T h e n the re ' s ' K o s s '
of c o u r s e , do ing what comes na fu ra l l y ,
Joe Cocker - Stingray
(A&M)
A F T E R T H E sup r i s i ng l y up-tempo
approach of the man 's last ef for t , Jamaica
Say You Will, on h is la test reco rd ing ,
C o c k e r returns to the more fam i l i a r , l a i d
back mood of / Can Stand A Little Rain.
Reco rded in K i n g s t o n , w i th just about
the most imp ress i ve l ine-up any R & B
s inger has eve r used — the i n i t i a l band
be ing C o r n e l l Dupree , E r i c G a l e , R i c h a r d
T e e , Steve G a d d and Gordon E d w a r d s ,
wi th the l i k e s of E r i c C l a p t o n and B o n n i e
Bramlet t thrown in for good measure , the
album has that d i s t i n c t i v e reggae
undercurrent , that seems to infect most
a r t i s t ' s work when they record in
J a m a i c a .
The album opens w i th Bobby C h a r l e s
'The Jealous Heart' w h i c h C o c k e r s i ngs
wh i l e before F rank .
What the na t iona ls f a i l ed to grasp
however , i s the main point of A l b e r t o ' s
ex i s t ence — Sat i re , the bands pa r t i cu la r
fo l l y being ' to take the p i s s out of the
mus ic b u s i n e s s , and more s p e c i f i c a l l y
the m u s i c i a n s who keep it a l i v e . Thev
ach ieve th is w i t h outrageous p a r o d i e s ,
incorporat ing the above ment ioned
l y r i c a l over tones .
I he f i rs t track i s 'Tortue You' w i th i ts
spade - l i ke heavy breath ing , complete wi th
sensous l y r i c s l i ke ' g i ve me a whip and
a j e l l i e d e e l ' , a l l good c l e a n fun . L o u
R e e d comes under the A l b e r t o ' s hammer
w i th 'Anadin', need less to say a spoof
of the V e l v e t s 'Heroin'. "Dread Jaws",
the bands reluctant Top T e n shot , g i v e s
Bob Mar ley the once over , (subst i tu te
'No Women No C r y ' wi th — no l egs he
c r y ' ) . 'Pavlov' i s a p i e c e of punk- rock
that wou ld do even the Romones j u s t i c e .
S ide T w o opens w i th the utter ly
s i c k 'Dead Meat' w h i m s i c a l ta le about a
lad who yearns to be a butcher and rub
and f i na l l y Ter ry Wi lson S l e s s e r s ing ing
up a storm w i th h i s R o d S t e w a r t / F r a n k i e
M i l l e resqu e v o c a l s .
Second Street opens power fu l l y wi th
'Selfish Lover' the strong drumming of
B raunage l s tand ing out here. K o s s o f f s
gui tar is c l e a r and c r i s p in the t yp i ca l
K o s s o f f manner; and the whole band
rea l l y works up some heat. 'Blue Soul',
the next cu t , is a me lod ic b lues w i th
tas te fu l p iano and a c o u s t i c gui tar ,
tak ing the song a long unt i l the band
bursts ' b a c k , wi th the v o c a l i s t baw l i ng
out the l y r i c s w i t h a lot o f energy.
Unfor tunate ly the album nose d i v e s
wi th the next two songs — 'Stop What
Your Doing' and 'Raging River', w h i c h
are s t ra ight rockers w i th l i t t le to say
for them, but the las t t rack on the f i rs t
s i d e . "Some Kind of Happy" i s a rea l
in a re l a t i ve l y res t ra ined manner,
compared wi th sonie of the v o c a l f renzy
that appears on other parts of th is
record . T h e next o f fe r ing i s one of three
Matthew Moore songs i nc l uded . 7 broke
down' w h i c h p roves to be the albums so le
t rack w h i c h shu f f les a long w i th any sort
of u rgency , the rest be ing the moody
h i id i lv emo t i ona l , of ten unbearably
poignant in terpretat ions that have become
the C o c k e r ha l lmark .
Inev i tab ly , B o b D y l a n is represented
on St ingray , he p rov id ing two of the
c o m p o s i t i o n s . One o f w h i c h , the p rev i ous l y
unrecorded 'Catfish' p rov ing to be the
albums f i nes t p i e c e , w i th Joe i n f ine
v o i c e , and making the most of the
sh i ve r i ng , i c e - c o l d arrangement g i ven to
rawmeat i n h is f a c e .
The A lbe r t os reckon " m o s t m u s i c i a n s
s u c k " it s a y s on the press handout , and
the band leave the l i s t ene r in no doubt
as to whom they think suck the most ,
those bas t i ons of moronic musak Hawk-
wind and P i n k F l o y d . Dur ing 'Mandrax
Variations — Parts', the band make
d i rect reference to the mus i c of " w i n d and
F l o y d , w i th parts of S i l v e r Machine and
E c h o e s , g iven new arrangements , and
F o l l o w the G u r u ' is a d isa rming step
back into Ba r re t i an F l o y d p s y c h e d e l i a .
I cou ld go o n , but I guess you ' ve got a
p ic tu re of what th is a l bum 's a l l about .
My on ly d isappointment w i th the
record is the sad o m i s s i o n of the a l l
time p i s s - t a k e that a l w a y s proves a
k i l l e r i n thei r s tage act — the immortal
C a p t a i n B e e f c a k e rout ine, comple te w i th
fart ing saxophone. The A l b e r t o s are
rea l l y a band to see , but th is album i s
the next bes t th ing , y o u ' l l p robab ly get
in to it — but your mother wou ldn ' t l i ke i t .
I A N M O R S E
c rease r , and once a g a i n , W i l s o n - S l e s s e r is on top form, backed up by a g i r l chorus who make th is the cut of the whole a lbum.
The second s ide opens wi th 'Sweet
Beauty' — another ba l l ad w h i c h i s g i ven added momentum by the gui tar p l a y i n g of K o s s .
The remain ing t racks - 'Just for You'.
'On Your Life' and 'Leaves in the wind'
are good, but fa l l into the same catagory
as so many F r e e and B a d Company songs .
N e v e r t h e l e s s , desp i te i t s fau l ts th i s
record i s an e s s e n t i a l add i t ion to any
c o l l e c t i o n that c on t a i n s work by e i ther
(or both) of the aforement ioned bands , as
it is the las t statement by someone who
had more than a p a s s i n g in f l uence on
both F r ee and B a d Company , and for that
matter B r i t i sh rock as a w h o l e .
the song by the band. T h i s is the fourth
track i n , and from now on C o c k e r s i n g s
w i th the rasp ing , raging in tens i ty that
on ly th is man can g ive to seeming ly
romant ic s o n g s . A s the second s ide
p rog resses , the in tens i t y l e v e l gets
h igher , * unt i l w i th 'Worrier' and 'Born
thru Indifference', C o c k e r sounds as
to ta l l y was ted as he l ooks on the
group's cover photo. No wonder Joe i s a
forerunner in the rock casua l t y s t a k e s .
If you l i ke Joe C o c k e r a lo t then y o u ' l l p robab ly get into th is a lbum, but i f yours i s jus t a p a s s i n g in te res t , t ry some of the l e s s in tense reco rd ings , l i k e
' Jama i ca ' .
I A N M O R S E
The Last Record Album
Rock casualty hangs on
FIIIX
Music
Catherine Howe: Silent Mother
Nature (RCA)
When I f i r s t l i s t e n e d to th is a lbum I
must admit that i t made very l i t t l e
impress ion on me and I tended to d i s m i s s
as ye t another p i e c e of v i n y l . However , I
am rap id ly r e v i s i n g my op in i on after
l i s t e n i n g to it a coup le of more t i m e s .
A l l the songs on the album are wr i t ten
and sung by Ms Howe and a l l credi t to her
for put t ing down such marve l l ous l y r i c s .
She a l s o s i n g s them beaut i fu l l y and i ndeed
the album is very we j l p roduced .
She has a s t y l e that i s somewhat
ak in to that of C a r l y S imon a l though she
is p o s s i b l y not as powerfu l *a s inge r a s
M s S imon.
O f the ac tua l t r acks on the a lbum,
"Freedom Enough", "It Took My Breath
Away" and the t i t le t rack "Silent
Nature" are outs tand ing on s i d e one .
T h e f i rs t h a s a very ca t chy rythm and
Ms Howe s i n g s w i t h de l igh t and gay
abondon; her concer t p iano p l a y i n g
together w i t h P a u l K e o g h ' s e l e c t r i c
gui tar combine to g i ve a good ef fect in
match ing w i th her v o c a l s .
Her v o c a l ta lent are, however , not
rea l ly r e v e a l e d unt i l the t i t l e t rack i n
w h i c h she c o v e r s the f u l l range of cho rds .
T h e second s ide of the a lbum con t inues
i n the same p l e a s a n t ve in as s ide one
w i th "All The Music In Me" the bes t
t rack . A g a i n , a lot of rythm i s e x p r e s s e d
in th is tune and there i s a c r i s p , c l e a r
f lu te s o l o by P e t e r Z o r n . The rythm
changes and p i c k s up ha l f way through
the t rack — another f lu te so lo backed by
a fas t p e r c u s s i o n that t r a i l s of f at the end
of the t rack.
Whether Ms Howe w i l l get the
recogn i t i on she d e s e r v e s remains to be
seen w i t h C a p i t a l R a d i o ' s M ike A l l e n
p lugg ing her , she wou ld appear to be i n
wi th a c h a n c e . A n y w a y , I l i k e d the a lbum
and i f you are l ook ing for some easy
l i s t en i ng then th is album i s recommended.
Kool and The Gang - Love
and Understanding
(Polydor) K o o l and The Gang are a band that
have c o n s i s t e n t l y f a i l e d to impress me
w i th the i r s t y le of m u s i c . I t ' s not that I
don ' t l i k e the pa r t i cu la r m u s i c a l genre to
wh ich the i r m u s i c be longs . I t ' s jus t the
a w f u i j n e s s they make of the whole th ing .
O n the other hand th is c r i t i c i s m might
seem unfa i r s i n c e the apparent ly r ece i ve d
no m u s i c a l t ra in ing wha tsoever . A l l I
can say i s , tough bananas .
A n y w a y , on to the album i t se l f . It
k i c k s off w i t h the t i t l e t rack "Love and
Understanding" wh i ch desp i te i ts good
p i e c e s manages to be too long and
s l i gh t l y overbear ing —. i t ' s near ly ten
minutes l o n g . B u t , t y p i c a l l y of the band ,
the next t rack , "Sugar", i s a beau t i fu l
combina t ion of the band ls m u s i c a l
ta len t . T h e b a c k i n g v o c a l s by Tomor row 's
E d i t i o n and Something Sweet rea l l y set
off th i s t rack b e a u t i f u l l y . It a l s o con ta ins
a rather n i ce a l to sax so lo by D e n n i s
T h o m a s .
T h i s t rack i s f o l l owed by "Do It Right
Now", a b r a s s y sounding tune w h i c h i s
fo l l owed by a equa l l y cheap sound ing
t rack c a l l e d "Cosmic Energy". " C o s m i c
. E n e r g y " i s the sort of mus ic that C a p i t a l
RadTo 's G r e i g E d w a r d s de l i gh ts i n
p lay ing w i th a gusto that I a lways f ind
a b i t nausea t i ng .
T h e on ly t rack on s ide two - worth
m e n t i o n i n g i s "Summer Madness" w h i c h ,
as w i t h the t rack preced ing and that
f o l l o w i n g i t , was recorded l i ve at the
Ra inbow T h e a t r e . It i s a beau t i fu l l y
me lod i c tune t i nged w i t h a l igh t d e l i c a t e
p e r c u s s i o n . It features a good p i e c e of
arp p l a y i n g by R o n a l d B e l l . A l l in a l l ,
though, a rather d i sappo in t i ng album
from the G a n g . I l ook forward w i t h
an t i c i pa t i o n to a t ime when they rea l l y
get and produce an album worth l i s t e n i n g
to i n i t s en t i r i t y .
The Steve Gibbons Band - Any
Road Up (Polydor).
L e d by Steve G i b b o n s , a man the
pub l i c i t y bumph d e s c r i b e as a " p o e t ,
story te l l e r and th i rd generat ion r o c k ' n '
r o l l e r " , the Steve G i b b o n s Band are a
f i ve -p iece band who have been around
for about three yea rs now. T h e y p lay
what I c a n on ly d e s c r i b e a s a g r e s s i v e
rock but not in s u c h a way as to be
os ten ta t ions or g r o s s .
The c l e a r , p r e c i s e v o c a l s of G ibbons
is supoor ted by the twin l ead gu i tars o f
ex—Move man T r e v o r .JBIuxton and the
drums of B o b L a m b .
T h i s i s the band ' s f i rs t a lbum and
quite f rank ly for a debut a l bum , it is
a s t o n i s h i n g l y good . The a lbum moves
from a l l rock time "Take Me Home"
thorough a b a l l a d type rock "Johnny
Cqpl" to the more c o n v e n t i o n a l , s l i gh t l y
commerc ia l tune "Spark of Love".
They are a band w i th o r i g i na l i t y and
s ty le of the i r own . The bes t compar ison
one c o u l d make wou ld be to say that
m u s i c a l l y , they were somewhere between
the Who and B a d Company . T h e y are not
as loud and heavy as B a d Company but
tend, in my o p i n i o n , have to the Who
al though in the same m u s i c a l s t y l e . It i s
in te res t ing to note that the a lbum i s
re leased on Roger D a l t r ey ' s G o l d h a w k e
L a b e l .
Ye t desp i te the in f luence that the
Who might exert on them, the i nd i v i dua l i t y
of the band s t i l l ho lds f irm and sh ines
through in the pe rsona l i t y of Steve
G i b b o n s .
I s h a l l go on about how good the
t racks on s ide two are because that wou ld
take pages and pages — i f you want to
enjoy some b loody good m u s i c don' t jus t
s i t there are read t h i s , go out and buy the
album now and d i s c o v e r for you rse l f the
new phenomenon in rock known as the
Steve G ibbons B a n d . p M J L E K P E N Y O N G
C A R P E N T E R S : ' T h e r e ' s a K i n d of Hush*
( A & M R e c o r d s A M L K 64581)
T h e r e ' s a rumour going around record
company c i r c l e s that the p ro f i t s on the
Carpen te rs ' records pay for A & M ' s
ent i re U K opera t ions . True or f a l s e , the
Carpen te rs s t i l l s e l l a lot of records and
no doubt their new album w i l l prove to
be no e x c e p t i o n .
Y e s g i r l s and boys you can get your
h a n k i e s out , the Carpen te rs are i n town
aga in w i th a soppy sent imenta l and
romant ic a lbum that mummy d e f i n i t e l y ,
would approve of.
The Ca rpen te r s , whose mode of
unpretent ious Middle of the Road mus i c
appea ls to a l l and sundry , have produced
another f ine effort that exudes beaut i fu l
harmon ies , exce l l en t o rches t ra t ion and
arrangement (by R i c h a r d Carpenter") and
al l - round t echn i ca l pe r fec t i on . ' H u s h '
i s c e r t a i n not to d i sappo in t many, yet
compared to some of thei r p rev ious
ef for ts , notab ly ' N o w and T h e n ' , the
album l a c k s some of that cha r i sma that
I've come to expec t from R i c h a r d and
K a r e n .
In short ' H u s h ' is l i k e l y to appea l to
an a v i d Carpen te rs fan who al ready has
many of the d u o ' s part o f fe r ings , whereas
the newcomer wou ld be bes t a d v i s e d to
purchase one of the Ca rpen te r s ' p rev ious
o f fe r ings .
One point that does bug me wi th
' H u s h ' i s why the Carpen te rs don ' t
song more o f the i r own c o m p o s i t i o n s .
Out of the ten songs on the a lbum only
three, 7 Need to be in Love, Sandy, and
/ Have You are penned by R i c h a r d
Carpen te r and l y r i c i s t John B e t t i s .
Y e t the Carpente rs e x c e l much more on
their own mater ia l than they do on other
p e o p l e s . A n d they don ' t make bad
ve rs ions of the latter! F o r star ters you
have a s p l e n d i d rework ing of N e i l
S e d a k a ' s Breaking Up is Hard to do in a
happy 50 ' s rend i t ion set aga ins t a
marve l lous st r ing arrangement . J a c k i e
De Shannon ' s Boat to Sail and Randy
E d e l m a n ' s Y.ou a ren ' t far beh ind e i ther !
In a l l then a rather moody, somet imes
p e n s i v e , album that won' t d i sappo in t ,
but i s more for Carpen te rs fans than
newcomers to the i r wo r ld .
C L I V E D E W E Y
Cinema " S A T U R D A Y N I G H T A T T H E B A T H S " ,
d i rec ted by D a v i d B u c k l e y ; s tarr ing
Rober t Abe rdeen , E l l e n Sheppard and
Don Scot t i .
W H A T E V E R T H E o r i g i na l in ten t ions were
wi th regard to the mak ing of th is f i l m ,
the end resu l t i s a badly made soft core
porno. Y o u know, the sort of porn , • l i ke
L a s t T a n g o in P a r i s or Emmanue l le where
the deep s i g n i f i c a n c e of what is t ry ing
to be s a i d i s submerged by techn ica l
meander ings and hazy and unnecessary
d i ve rs ionary s ide p lo ts of very l i t t le
v a l u e .
M i c h a e l (Rober t Aberdeen) i s an out
of work p ian i s t who even tua l l y f i nds a
job in c lub run for homosexua ls and
l e s b i a n s . Sco t t i (Don Scot t i ) i s the
compere at the c l u b and n e e d l e s s to say ,
i s a homosexua l and T r a c y ( E l l e n
Sheppard) i s M i c h a e l ' s photographer
g i r l f r i end . .
O n h i s open ing n ight , M i c h a e l re fuses
to a l l o w T r a c y to at tend the show. When
the show is f i na l l y over he goes out for
a s t ro l l w i th Scot t i and hey pres to , they
are i n bed mak ing iove — the way in
wh ich the whole thing is p resen ted
suf fers from the f l ippant at t i tude of "I
to ld you so (re homosexua l t endenc ies ) ,
d idn ' t I".
He then goes to meet h i s g i r l f r iend
at her s tudio ' and in not so many words
she f i nds out that he made i t w i th S c o t t i .
J u s t at the point when one wou ld
expect the story to rea l l y begin to
deve lop it s t ops . I t 's f i n i shed . The
di rector has f i n a l l y exhaus ted h imse l f
after 90 minu tes .
If Mr B u c k l e y was try ing to te l l us
how h y p o c r i t i c a l about sex peop le a re ,
even the se l f p roc la imed l i b e r a l s , then
it w a s not h i s faul t that the message
seeped through. A n y w a y , do we not know
th is a l ready? Surely the fu l l import o f a
guy mak ing love to h i s g i r l f r iend and
then to a homosexua l i s that he can love
both the male and female of h is s p e c i e s .
T h i s ted ious f i lm has on ly one
moment of spark le in i t . Tha t i s when
the " s t r a i g h t s " meet the " g a y s " i n a
footba l l match (Amer ican f oo tba l l , of
course ! ) I s h a l l l eave the game to
your imag ina t ion .
P A U L E K P E N Y O N G
FELIX 1
STOIC: Review of the year's activities I A M J U S T A S W E E T t ransves t i t e from
T r a n s e x u a l T r a n s y l v a n i a . So sang T i m
Curry i n a c l i p from the "Rocky Horror
Show" w h i c h opened the f i rs t 'Film Talk'
of the s e s s i o n . T h i s was the f i rs t
programme i n the s e r i e s to be recorded i n
the near b roadcast qua l i t y s tud ios of the
I L E A ' S E d u c a t i o n a l T e l e v i s o n C e n t r e .
Nex t came D i r k Boga rde . H e was i n thee
country to promote h is la tes t f i lm
'Permission to Kill' and as w e l l as
appear ing on S T O I C , he was in te rv iewed
by C a p i t a l and R u s s e l Har t y .
H a v i n g recorded the in te rv iew , c l i p s
from h i s many f i lms had to be acqu i r ed .
T h e r e i n lay a prob lem. If you want a c l i p
f rom a f i lm wh ich i s no longer on re lease
you have to pay £270 for each minute
of f i lm used to the K inematograph
R e n t e r ' s Soc ie t y , a body w h i c h l ooks af ter
the i n te res ts of the d is t r i bu to rs . Fur ther
i nves t i ga t i on revea led that i f your
programme i s indust ry approved you
don' t have to pay any th ing . F i l m T a l k i s
now an industry approved programme.
N e x t , T e r r y - T h o m a s , who had come from
I b i z a to premote 'Spanish Fly'. Severa l
c r i t i c s vehement ly e x p r e s s e d thei r doubts
as to the qua l i t y of th is f i lm . T h i s
Theatre
When the new Na t i ona l Theat re
bu i l d ing was be ing p lanned it was
d e c i d e d that b e s i d e s the two conven t i ona l
aud i to r ia there shou ld be s s m a l l s tud io
theate w i th f l ex ib le sea t i ng ar rangements ,
to be known as the C o t t e s l o e . B e c a u s e
the C o t t e s l o e i s not yet ready, the
N a t i o n a l Theat re Company has taken
over the Y o u n g V i c , in the cu t by
Water loo S ta t ion , for a s e a s o n l a s t i n g
through the summer. T h e f i rs t p roduc t ion ,
Shakespea re ' s Troilus and Cressida
opened l as t week and runs un t i l Ju l y
22nd in repertory.
Troilus and Cressida was wr i t ten at
about the same time as Hamle t and th is
product ion con ta ins many of the fam i l i a r
f aces from the N a t i o n a l ' s " A l b e r t
F i n n e y " Hamlet, thus he lp ing those of
us who de l i gh t in spot t ing the parts that
Shakespeare wrote for the same ac tor ;
for example F e s t e , T o u c h s t o n e and the
Por te r i n Macbeth, or here , P o l o n i u s
Agamemnon, O s r i c and A j e x .
The aud ience i s g ree ted , on a m v a l , by
an impos ing c i r c u s r ing sur rounded by a
four foot h igh w a l l and su r faced w i th
neat ly raked damp sawdus t . A t one
moment I was almost sorry that the
des igner had forgotten the l ion tamer ' s
c a g e , a l though the sma l l space ensured
that the bat t les never got out of hand .
Instead of L i be r t y H o r s e s and per forming
s e a l s we have a lot of ve rba l c l a w i n g ,
some w a i l i n g and a bit of s u l k i n g before
the long p lay reaches it c l i m a x in the
f ight between Hec to r and A c h i l l i e s ,
a ided by h i s hymidons , unp leasan t
l ook ing men wi th masks and a var ie ty of
nasty w e a p o n s , who d i s p a t c h Hec to r i n
a number of w a y s .
The p lay is the only one that S h a k e s
peare wrote about the G r e e k s (un less
you i nc l ude A Midsummer Night's Dream)
and takes p lace dur ing the s i ege of
T roy . Whi ls t the t i t t le might suggest a
momenta! love match in the s t y l e of
in te rv iew took p lace in December and
the s tud io was f r eez ing . Te r r y -Thomas
s t rengthened h is cof fee w i th the contents
of h i s brandy f l a s k .
Another s tar of Span ish F l y , L e s l i e
P h i l l i p s was in te rv iewed at the C o l l e g e
shor t ly af ter . He was making a f i lm
c a l l e d 'Not now comrade' ou ts ide the
A lber t H a l l .
In the las t lunchbreak of the Spr ing
Term Barry Humphr ies made a second
v i s i t to the T V Stud io . T h i s t ime,
i ns tead of the ub iqu i tous A u s t r a l i a n
Housew i fe Dame E d n a E v e r a g e , we
we lcomed the man h imse l f . A t the t ime
Dame E d n a w a s , and s t i l l : i s s tar r ing in
" H o u s e w i f e S u p e r s t a r " i n the West E n d .
T h i s programme w h i c h was t ransmi t ted
l i ve was the las t to be made i n Room
306, E l e c E n g , the home of the T V s tud io
s i n c e i t s i ncep t i on near ly 7 years ago .
T h e studio i s now be ing rebu i l t in Room
208.
Apar t f rom ' F i l m T a l k ' th i s y e a r ' s
other main product ions have been week l y
ed i t i ons o f 'LUNCHBREAK' our w e e k l y
magaz ine programme. M ichae l W i l l i a m s '
p resence as anchor man lent the
programme authori ty w i t h i n the C o l l e g e
Troilus Cressida at the Young Vic
Romeo and Juliet the plot conce rns
more, at leas t i n th is p roduc t ion , the
cha l l enge of Hector to the G r e e k s ,
taken up by A j a x wh i l s t A c h i l l e s i s
su l k ing in h i s tent w i th h i s boy f r iend
P a t r o c l u s . The re i s a wea l th of minor
cha rac te rs , not least amongst whom
are T r o i l u s , a son of P r i a m , K i n g of
T r o y , who l o v e s C r e s s i d a , at a d i s t a n c e ,
and C r e s s i d a , who th inks it might be fun
to encourage h i m . Af te r the i r night of
buss i t i s announced that, in an exchange
w i t h the G r e e k s , C r e s s i d a w i l l be
handed over to be wi th her father,
C a l c h a s . w h o h a s d e f e c t e d . She immedia te ly
turns her at tent ions to D i o n e d e s the
Greek commander who c a r r i e s out the
exchange ; unfor tunately T o i l u s sees
these advances and the two su i to rs
meet in ba t t le ; what happened next I
found it hard to d i s c e r n !
Robert E d d i s o n p l a y s , the engaging
Pandarus matchmaker between T r o i l u s
and C r e s s i d a , h i s n i e c e . In a de l i gh t f u l
scene he po in ts out to her the heroes as
they pass by in p r o c e s s i o n . T h e r s i t e s
c o u l d be s a i d to be the Touchs tone of the
p l a y ; P h i l i p Stone draws a f ine portra i t
of th is j o l l y tapster , cu t t i ng h is teeth on
some f ine w i t w i th A c h i l l e s and A j a x .
Y o u wou ld be w e l l a d v i s e d to read
up your A e n e i d before you go; a p laygoer
near me had to have the p lo t e x p l a i n e d
in loud w h i s p e r s . Fo r tuna te l y the
cos tumes do d i s t i n g u i s h T r o j a n from
Greek but it i s he lp fu l to know w h o ' s
who beforehand as a P l e t h o r a of fam i l i a r
names p a s s before y o u . T h e programme
does g i ve a short legendary b iography of
the cha rac te rs . What marred the e v e n i n g
most was the la te a r r i va l of about f i f ty
peop le — the Y o u n g V i c i s nolr w e l l
des igned for the accommodat ion o f
la tecomers — p l e a s e ar r ive e a r l y .
T h e N a t i o n a l Student Drama F e s t i v a l
b r ings f i ve award w i n n i n g produc t ions to
the Roundhouse from 27Ju l y to 7 Augus t .
w h i c h i t had l a c k e d dur ing p rev ious
y e a r s . E d i t i o n s of note i nc lude our
coverage of rag week and a memorable
streak round the A lber t H a l l . The U n i o n
H u s t i n g s and E l e c t i o n s were cove red
l i v e w i t h cons ide rab le s u c c e s s . " D e s p i t e
t e c h n i c a l l i m i t a t i o n s , our coverage
doub led the number o f peop le w i t n e s s i n g
both e v e n t s . "
L U N C H B R E A K IS R E C O R D E D i s
every Wednesday e v e n i n g . One t e c h n i c a l
prob lem w h i c h confronted us las t year
was the l ack of ed i t i ng f a c i l i t i e s . F o r
examp le , when cut t ing from one item to
the next , the p ic tu re wou ld ro l l f u r i o u s l y
for about ten s e c o n d s . T h e C o l l e g e has
recent ly acqu i red ed i t i ng f a c i l i t i e s and
these w i l l improve the t e c h n i c a l qua l i t y
o f our p roduc t i ons , pa r t i cu la r i l y L U N C H !
B R E A K , c o n s i d e r a b l y . Programmes for
next year ; w e l l there w i l l be in te rv iews
w i th G l e n d a J a c k s o n , P e t e r C u s h i n g ,
M e l v i n F rank (d i rector of " A T o u c h of
C l a s s , " " D u c h e s s and Di r twater F o x " ) .
There w i l l a l s o be a documentary on the
mak ing of A T V ' s S P A C E 999 inc lud ing
in te rv iews w i th Gerry A n d e r s o n (of
' T h u n d e r b i r d s ' fame), Mar t in L a n d a u and
Barba ra B a i n i n her d ress ing room and a
look at the s p e c i a l e f f ec t s .
M A R K C A L D W E L L
A t l a s t I s h a l l see G a s , L e e d s U n i v e r s i t y ' s
product ion w h i c h was so h i gh l y p r a i s e d
in Ed inburgh in A p r i l . T h e other p roduc t ions
to be seen are Carp d'Etat ( K e e l e ) ,
G a l a t e a (St Andrews) , The Key ( R o s e
Bruford) and England October 30th
1975 (Cent ra l Schoo l o f A r t and D e s i g n ) .
T H O M A S S T E V E N S O N
Continued from page 3
IF Only... H e w a s now angry because no one had
to ld h im that everyone was j o i n ing up._He
too was keen to j o i n so that he c o u l d
take advantage of the Honey H i l l s and
Ice-cream m i n e s . A l i c e s a i d he c o u l d
j o i n the c l u b .
A l i c e then came out o f the wood and
sudden ly r e a l i s e d that everyone had
forgotten about the dreadfu l songs they
must put up wi th in the E E C . A l i c e ,
however , a great l ove r of E E C M and S
crus ty l oaves mused that a ha l f baked
song i s better than no bread at a l l .
Which j us t goes to show that Marks and
Spencer are expand ing a l l over the
con t inen t .
In ac tua l fact everyone l i v e d in comple te
E E C harmony a ter P a t r i c k Moore had
inven ted the an t i -eu ro -sc reech-ea r -p lugs .
H U M T
FARNBOROUGH 76
INTERNATIONAL AIR SHOtf,
If y o u are go ing to Farnborough
Sept 10th, I l t h , 12th — be sure to
v i s i t the E u r o a v i a s t and , Nor th H a l l
A . 15. Say hi to the I C s tudents who
w i l l be running the s tand .
Or ienteer ing
» o r t
C r o s s Country
Wet going O N A W E T mise rab le summers
day l a s t Saturday, f i ve I C
post -graduate c r o s s country
runners descended on H a m w e l l
to see the soggy remains of a
c a r n i v a l p r o c e s s i o n p a s s by .
Someone qu ie t l y b l e w a
w h i s t l e w h i c h s tar ted the
H a n w e l l C a r n i v a l ' 5 ' , l e a v i n g
P e t e Johnson and A l a n L e a k e y
s tand ing cha t t i ng on the s ta r t ing
l i n e . Down to the c a n a l ,
m ind ing the r ight angle bend
onto a three foot w ide br idge
w i t h no handra i l s over a
backwa te r , a long the tow
pa th , pas t some rea l l y fou l
s m e l l i n g factory fumes w h i c h
wou ld have brought tears to
M o o n e y ' s eyes had he been
running th is t ime, up over s i x
l o c k gates to a main road w i t h
a l l that beaut i fu l ca rbon
monoxide w h i c h makes running
so en joyab le , back down to the
c a n a l , pas t ' S o u t h s i d e ' aga in
and up to the f i n i s h ; a good
f ive m i l e s ! Rob A l l i n s o n as
a l w a y s was f i r s t home i n
4th p l a c e in a very good t ime
of 24 .41 . Steve Webb running
" a b l i n d e r " was 8 th , not qu i te
b reak ing the 5 minute m i le
barr ier w i th 25.08. P a u l
C l a r k e jus t recover ing from
injury was 38th i n 27 .30 .
P e t e Johnso n jus t broke the
s i x minute m i le barr ier w i t h
29.18 for 58th p l a c e c l o s e l y
f o l l owed by A l a n L e a k e y 30.38
i n 65th p l a c e . The team was a
ve ry c red i t ab le 4 th , j us t
m i s s i n g medals by 10 point 's.
It w a s fe l t that some L o n d o n
P r i d e w a s needed to se t t l e
our s tomachs — so the Dove
was v i s i t e d a f te rwards. If you
have a th i rs t and need some
e x e r c i s e there i s the Horsham
10 fo l l owed by the K i n g and
B a r n e s 10 in the even ing on
J u l y 19th; see our U n i o n
no t i ce board for d e t a i l s .
Stop P r e s s
I C ' s D a v e West won the 400
metre hu rd les in the Southern
Champ ions h ip s l a s t Saturday
at C r y s t a l P a l a c e in the very
fas t t ime of 52 .5 s e c . T h e
weekend before he was 4th
in the O l y m p i c T r i a l s for the
same event .
Control 9 takes
its toll O N S U N D A Y a s m a l l party of
three t r a v e l l e d to Thorndon P a r k ,
near B ren twood to take part in
a re lay o rgan i sed by Have r i ng
Or ien tee r ing C l u b (usua l l y
referred to as H A V O C ) .
T r a d i t i o n a l l y , re lay teams
competeunder s i l l y pseudonyms ,
and IC have taken th is one
stage further by enter ing the
i n d i v i d u a l members of the teams
in a s i m i l a r manner. Thus the
E m p i r i c a l Ove rshoo te rs team
aga in featured s u c h s tars as
R B r a u n s c h u l t z and L K S e l t z e r .
Un fo r tuna te ly no-one c o u l d
th ink up a name w h i c h , in th is
c l e a n fami ly sport , was su i t ab le
for A l a n L e a k e y ; he thus ran
under h i s own name, w h i c h
was c o n s i d e r e d to be s i l l y
enough anyway .
The nav iga t i on was not
unduly c o m p l i c a t e d , a good
network o f pa ths , a l l o w i n g one
to f o l l ow ones progress on the
map by running a long a path
and coun t ing the number of
other pa ths w h i c h one c r o s s e s .
T h i s c a u s e d problems for R o b
A l l i n s o n , who is incapab le of
count ing h igher than three
wh i l e runn ing . A s a resu l t he
spent some time l ook ing for
cont ro l s e v e n about 150
metres too far to the north before
r e a l i s i n g h i s m i s t a k e . Some
areas of the woods were
cove red i n knee-deep ferns and
b r a c k e n , w h i c h o w i n g to the
morning ra in were abso lu te l y
sa tu ra ted : Con t ro l n ine , in a
s m a l l d e p r e s s i o n in one o f
these a reas , w a s par t i cu la r l y
d i f f i cu l t to f i nd , and A l a n
L e a k e y los t near ly 10 minutes
f ind ing t h i s con t ro l . The other
team members were more
fortunate here , R o b A l l i n s o n
f a l l i ng into the d e p r e s s i o n
wh i le - wander ing a i m l e s s l y
through the b racken , and Ian
Isherwood, o n s e e i n g another
or ienteer apparent ly r i s i n g
v e r t i c a l l y out of the ground,
co r rec t l y deduced that th i s
person must have been v i s i t i n g
the c o n t r o l .
The I C team even tua l l y
f i n i s he d *5th out o f about 20
teams in the C l a s s ' A ' re lay .
R o b A l l i n s o n brought them in
6th on the f i rs t l e g w i t h a
time o f about 39 mins for h i s
5km c o u r s e ; 5 minutes down on
the l e a d e r s . S tead i l y improv ing
Ian Isherwood p u l l e d the
team up to 5th, w i th a t ime of
around 50 m ins . A l a n L e a k e y
s tar ted off w e l l , and had
moved up to 3rd at one po in t ,
but unfor tunate ly los t both
these p l a c e s at con t ro l 9.
He even tua l l y f i n i s h e d wi th a
t ime of 44 m i n s , on ly a few
yards beh ind the 4th p laced
team.
Hullo dere brudders an' \ As you all knows, dis is
sisters'. Dis is yore Fehcks am Last Felicks wot
(3HC
(nates de great
oration to de
peeptes ofc> de
Imperial College
... Like de filliri-up
ob de êëìíî Wid ïðspoofs ñòó cause ïðô õ ö ÷ ø ù ú û ü ý ú ûþ ÿ�����ïð ������� ...
e d i t o r speakm' -from d e
editorial harem in de
print'm' palace . •.
ah is edit/'n', an' is am
ah-deal occosbun to revoo
moh 3 real accomplishments •'•
:•• Like de p h a s i n ' o u t o b de
s e.y<j discriminasbun b y de
removal ob de P a g e 3 birds
i v i d d e big tits woe de
Mike WiLlums begun...
... Like de encourogemint
obde free think inde
originolitij an'
creabiveness inde
sp^iLin'...
... but espesbaU-ij de
maintenance ob dc
Worl' - famous
Q remstralincj cartoon.
... cos widdout de BremstroUnc
an' Kwork, jouse dam'
buggers Wouidna ei/eo
Look at de Fei/cks (