40thANNIVERSARY
SPECIAL!“THE ORIGIN OF JG!”
BY JOHN GARRETThypertransitory.com
OUR SON WON’T PERISH
WHEN OUR DOOMED WORLD
EXPLODES. THIS ROCKET
WILL TAKE BABY
JG TO A SAFE WORLD
--EARTH!
AT LEAST
OUR SON WILL OUTLIVE HIS
WORLD!
I HOPE HE FINDS A GOOD
HOME ON
EARTH!
GOODBYE, MY
SON...AND GOOD LUCK!
DON’T WORRY,DEAR. ALTHOUGH WE WON’T
SURVIVE, OUR LOVE WILL...
“...AND IT WILL TRAVEL ALONG WITH OUR SON, NO
MATTER WHERE HE MAY GO...”
“...THROUGHOUT ALL TIME AND SPACE...”
“...FOREVER.”
“UNLESS...”
...UNLESS FOR SOME REASON
HE BECOMES A CARTOONIST, OR
SOME KIND OF COMIC ARTIST...OR
STARTS A BLOG OF SOME SORT!
IN THAT CASE WE WILL
WITHOUT QUESTION DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY,
CATEGORICALLY, UNEQUIVOCALLY
NOT LOVE HIM, AND HE WILL BE ON HIS OWN!!!
BUT I DON’T THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THAT.HOLD ME.
I LOVE YOU, BLACK LARA. I LOVE YOU,
BLACK JOR-EL.
40 YEARS LATER
PLANET EARTH.
MILWAUK�, WI, USA.
OH, JE�Y MAGUIRE...YOU FINA�Y FOUND
LOVE.
YOU COMPLETE
ME.
YOU HAD ME AT
HE�O.
SO BEAUTIFUL...I CAN’T STAND
IT!
HONK!
HONK!HONK!
SNORT!!!SNORT!!!SNORT!!!
QUICKLY, TO THE
INTERNET!
THE PUBLIC WI� BE INTERESTED IN MY THOUGHTS ON THIS 15 YEAR OLD
MOVIE!
WHAT THE..!?!
FWASH!!!FWASH!!!
WHO THE HECK ARE
YOU?!?
WE’RE THE 3 VI�AINS FROM BLACK KRYPTON!
I’M BLACK GENERAL ZOD, THIS IS BLACK
NON...
AND I’M BLACK
URSA!
FWASH!!!FWASH!!!
W-WHAT DO YOU WANT??
YOUR FATHER SENTENCED US TO
AN ETERNITY IN THE PHANTOM ZONE, AND NOW WE’RE HERE FOR
REVENGE!
SO KN�L, SON OF BLACK
JOR-EL! KN�L BEFORE...BEFORE
UH...
...sAY, IS THIS YOUR PLACE??
YEAH. WHAT ABOUT
IT?
WHA�ADUMP!
AND WHAT’S THAT AWFUL STENCH??
WE�, I MAY BE A BIT BEHIND IN MY
LAUNDRY, BUT I HARDLY think “AWFUL STENCH”
IS FAIR...
�E�!
L�K AT THIS PLACE!
IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO FOR
YOURSELF?!?
WE�, I --
TRUE,BUT --
IT’S B�N 40 YEARS!!
THIS PLACE IS A
SHIT-HOLE!
SHIT!
HOLE!
WE�, THESE ARE TRYING ECONOMIC TIMES FOR EVERYONE
AND --
--AND EVERYONE’SHAD TO MAKE DO WITH
LE� THESE DAYS!
TO MAKE EXTRA CASH I
A�ED A BUNCH MORE G�GLE ADS TO MY
BLOG --
A BLOG??! TH-THAT’S
RIDICULOUS!
you n�d to get o� your a�
and get a job!
G�GLE ADS?! WHAT!?!
G�GLE ADS AREN’T A
RELIABLE SOURCE OF INCOME!
what HA�ENS WHEN
THE NEXT G�GLE UPDATE HITS??
DO YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH TRA�IC YOU HAVE TO PUSH TO
GET DECENT MONEY..???
HAVE YOU TRIED A�ILIATE
MARKETING?!
A BLOG ISN’T A
BUSINE�!
HEY, GUYS!HEY, GUYS!
LISTEN CHUMPS, DON’T COME AROUND HERE TALKING A�
THIS TRASH --
--YOU’RE STARTING TO
MAKE ME MAD!
I’D LIKE TO
S� ANY ONE OF YOU DO BE�ER..!!
I CAN DAMN WE� DO BE�ER THAN
THIS!!
WE’RE RIGHT HERE, PUNK!
SO WHAT? GET MAD,
THEN!DO
SOMETHING, THEN!
OR WHAT, HUH??
WHAT’S GO�A HA�EN?
GUYS!GUYS!
HEY, GUYS!
ENO�UGH!!ENO�UGH!!
IT’S 2 IN THE FREAKIN’
MORNING!!
NOW WHAT’S GOING ON?
I’M TRYIN’ TA GET SOME SL�P
HERE!!!
WE�?!?? I DON’T HAVE A� DAMN NIGHT!
SOMEBODY SPEAK UP!
WHAT’S THIS A� ABOUT??
THESE 3 VI�AINS FROM BLACK KRYPTON SHOWED
UP TALKING A LOT OF TRASH AND I REA�Y DON'T A�RECIATE IT!!!!
HE THINKS A BLOG IS GOING
TO..!!
EVERYONE HAS B�N ADVERSELY A�ECTED
BY THE RECE�ION and --!!!
HIS FATHER IMPRISONED US IN THE PHANTOM ZONE AND NOW
WE'RE HERE FOR REVENGE!!
and anotherThing, THIS PLACE
SME�S LIKEF�T!!
IT'S CA�ED TAKING PERSONAL
RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FATE!!!!!
AWRIGHT, AWRIGHT! SO�Y
I ASKED!
YO JG, YOU GOT THAT
RENT? YOU’RE ALREADY 2 MONTHS BEHIND.
ER...I DON’T HAVE IT RIGHT
NOW.
BUT I PUT SOME MORE G�GLE ADS ON MY SITE SO MAYBE IN A COUPLE
OF MONTHS...
���H! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT THE G�GLE ADS WITH
YOU, AIN’T IT?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HIT THE BRICKS, KID. YOU’RE EVICTED!
NOW SINCE I’M UP, I GUE� I’� STEP OUT ON THE TOWN.
ANYONE WHO’S NAME
AIN’T ON THE LEASE HAD BE�ER GET GHOST BY THE TIME I COME
BACK...
...OR I’M CA�ING THE
COPS!!
SLAM!!SLAM!!
WE CAME HERETO DESTROY YOU,
BUT OBVIOUSLY LIFE HAS ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF
THAT S���O...
W�������...I GUE� WE’� BE
GOING NOW.
HEY, WOULDYOU MIND K�PING AN
EYE OUT FOR ANY PLACES WITH CHEAP RENT? I’M
GO�A N�D IT!
NOW THATYOU MENTION
IT, WE DO KNOW OF
ONE PLACE...
5 SECONDS LATER...
Stupid black krypton vi�ains!stupid phantom
zone!
everyone and everything in
the entire universeis stupid except
for me!!
Stupid rat landlord!
WHENI GET OU�A
HERE. . !
HEY, JG! FANCY M�TIN’ YOU HERE,
BU�Y!
WHA..??OH, NO! IT
CAN’T BE...NOT...
YOU?!?
YEAH, IT’S US, THE STUPID CLOWNS! REMEMBER US? FROM
YOUR EB�K??
BOY ARE WE GLAD TO S� YOU!
WE FORGIVE YOU
FOR REVEALING OUR I�ERMOST SECRETS
TO THE WORLD!
CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYTHING BE�ER THAN
SPENDING A� OF ETERNITY WITH US??
E��.WHATEVER.
IT COULD BE WORSE.
NOT MUCH WORSE, BUT
STI�. . .
...SO WHAT’S THERE TO DO AROUND
HERE?
WE JUST TE� STORIES TO PA� THE
TIME!
HEY! DID I EVER
TE� YOU GUYS ABOUT THE TIME I HAD CORNED B�F
FOR DI�ER??NOT A LOT!
YES, I’M PRE�Y SURE YOU TOLD ME
THAT ONE BEFORE...
YOU DEFINITELY
TOLD THIS STORY BEFORE!
WHAT’S THAT? TE� IT AGAIN?
NO, SOUNDS
EXCITING! TE� US A� ABOUT IT!
�H! I NEVER HEARD
THAT ONE BEFORE! LET’S HEAR IT! WE�
I’� START AT THE ENDING - IT TURNS
OUT THE CORNED B�F ISN’T SU�OSED TO BE
GR�N OR HAIRY AT A�!
NO! I SAID YOU ALREADY TOLD THIS
STORY!
G��H!
WE� I’D LIKE TO
KNOW WHAT HA�ENED IN
THE END!
YEAH, TE� IT AGAIN! SO WHERE
WAS I? OH YEAH, THE
END..!
YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? THIS GIVES ME AN IDEA
FOR ANOTHER E-B�K!
WHAT??
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
THE ENDhypertransitory.com
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