Wordiness
For example:Alyssa is of the opinion that
marijuana should be made legal.
can be rewritten more clearly andprecisely:
Alyssa supports the legalization of marijuana.
Here’s another example:
I would like to say that my subject
in this paper will be the kind ofgenerous person my father was.
can be rewritten more clear and concisely:
My father was a generous person.
or even more concisely:My father was generous.
Seven Specific Strategiesto help you write more concisely
1. Eliminate redundancies:
Redundant phrases such ascooperate together,close proximity,basic essentials andtrue facts
are a common source of wordiness.
Seven Specific Strategies
2. Delete words that don’t add meaning to the sentence:
The town of Monmouth, located in Oregon, was founded as a religious community.
Monmouth, Oregon was founded as a religious community.
Seven Specific Strategies
3. Cut wordy expressions, or replace with a single word:
due to the fact that becauseregardless of the fact that althoughconcerning the matter of regardingthere is a need for should, musthas the ability to canfor the purpose of to
Seven Specific Strategies
4. Cut “There is” or “There are” constructions:
There is another videotape that shows the robbery of a convenience store.
Another videotape shows the robbery of a convenience store.
Seven Specific Strategies
5. Eliminate unnecessary intensifiers or hedges; find a stronger adjective:
The plot of Matrix is really very good, at least I think so.
The plot of Matrix is excellent.
Seven Specific Strategies
6. Use strong active verbs.
Active verbs express meaning more vigorously than to be verbs or passive voice verbs.
Forms of to be (am, is, are, was, were, being, and been) seem weak because they convey no action.
Passive verbs lack strength because their subjects receive action instead of doing it.
For example:Form of to be:
A power surge was responsible forthe destruction of my strawberry iMac.
Passive:
My strawberry iMac was destroyed by apower surge.
Active:A power surge destroyed my strawberry iMac.
Seven Specific Strategies7. Use clear, simple nouns and strong, active verbs.
Minimize words between subject and verb and between verb and object.
I have a preference for Ferraris. I prefer Ferraris.Please make a decision today. Please decide
today.We need to have a discussion about the problem.
We need to discuss the problem.I have just come to the realization that I was
mistaken.I made a mistake.
Sample Sentences
Make these sentences more concise by simplifying nouns, using strong verbs, and by clearing out the clutter words:
1. Tree pruning may be done during any time of the year.