Lights, Camera, Otter
Written by Christian Bajusz
Fade In: Mayor Jeff’s Boat EXT.
(The title appears)
Flick: (OS) Lights, Camera, Otter.
(Noise can be heard coming from inside Mayor Jeff’s boat)
Zoom in: Mayor Jeff’s boat
Cut to: Mayor Jeff’s boat INT.
(Inside the boat, the kids are watching a film strip of “Mallard Man Saves the Day” as it is being projected onto a bed sheet)
Pan: (slowly, to create suspense) The line of the kids watching the movie
SFX: “Help!”
Mallard Man: (OS) Sounds like a cry for help.
SFX: Woosh!
Mallard Man: (CNT’D) What seems to be the problem, Ma’am?
(The movie is now visible to the camera)
Woman in distress: There’s an alien in my boat!
(A figure with a fake-looking alien head comes into view)
Mallard Man: (pulls mask of the alleged alien) Why, that’s no alien. That’s your son with his mask from last Halloween!
Son: (giggles)
Woman in distress: So it is! Thank you, Mallard Man!
Mallard Man: (flies away) All in a day’s work, Ma’am.
Cut to: Flick next to Peanut
Flick: (loudly) Yeah! Mallard Man did it again!
Peanut: Shhh! We’re trying to watch the movie, Flick.
Flick: (quietly) Oh, right. Sorry. (He and Peanut go back to watching the movie)
Mallard Man: (OS) Oh no! Could it be? Is that the—
(Mayor Jeff stops the film strip)
Mayor Jeff: (comes into view) Sorry, y’all. But it’s getting to be lunch time.
(All the kids go “Aww…”)
Mayor Jeff: But I’ll show you the rest of it tomorrow, okay?
(The kids’ attitude changes)
All kids: Yeah! Yay! All right! Yes... (Etc.)
Wipe to: PB&J’s house INT.
(The Kitchen table)
Opal: So, how’d you kids like Mayor Jeff’s movie?
Jelly: It was great!
Peanut: It was super!
Butter: (giggles) Super duper!
Peanut: (in a disappointed voice) But we didn’t get to finish it.
Jelly: Mayor Jeff said he’d show us the rest of it tomorrow, though.
Ernest: You kids are pretty excited about it, right?
Peanut & Jelly: (at the same time) You betcha!
Wipe to: Mayor Jeff’s boat EXT.
(PB&J are there with Mayor Jeff)
Mayor Jeff: I’m sorry kids, but I can’t show you the rest of the film tomorrow.
Jelly: How come, Mayor Jeff?
Mayor Jeff: Well, my boat’s so full of sinks... (Peanut nods) …and toilet seats… (Jelly nods) …and pompaloafers…and many other things, that I lost it. I’m really sorry.
Peanut: Oh well.
Jelly: Thanks anyway.
Mayor Jeff: (calling out to PB&J as they leave) I’ll let y’all know if I find it, okay?
Peanut: Okay.
Cut to: PB&J in their sand box the next day
(The rest of the kids who don’t know about Mayor Jeff losing the film walk by PB&J’s house)
Flick: (realizes PB&J aren’t coming) Wait, everyone! (walks over to PB&J) Hey, aren’t y’all coming?
Jelly: Mayor Jeff lost the film in his mess of junk.
Peanut: We can’t come.
(The rest of the gang comes over to where PB&J and Flick are)
Pinch: Wow. That’s really disappointing.
Munchy: Yeah. (Chewing on nearby tree) I was really looking forward to it.
Jelly: You know, we should do the Noodle Dance to figure out what we’re going to do now.
Peanut: I’ll noodle, but I don’t think dancing will be necessary.
Noodle Dance
(Peanut joins in 2 seconds after the start)
Noodle, use your noodleNoodle, do the Noodle Dance
Solve a problem That’s no strainUse your noodleThat’s your brainUse your noodleUse your brainNoodle, do the Noodle Dance
Peanut: I’ve got it! (his idea is displayed on screen) We could help Mayor Jeff clean up his boat. Then, he could find the film faster! (His idea disappears)
Jelly: Great idea, Peanut. (beat) But Mayor Jeff didn’t sound like he wanted us to help.
Peanut: Oh, right.
Munchy: How about this? (idea is displayed on screen) We could use a metal detector to find where the film is. (the kids, in Munchy’s idea, find the film)
Peanut: (OS) I don’t think films are magnetic, Munchy. (the film disappears again in Munchy’s idea)
Munchy: No. What I meant was we could use it to detect the metal casing the film is in. (same idea at beginning is shown)
Peanut: That’s a great idea. (beat) But the only ones on Lake Hoohaw with a working metal detector are Ootsie and Bootsie. (Ootsie and Bootsie are shown with a metal detector in Peanut’s vision) I don’t think they’ll want to share it with us. (Peanut’s idea of Ootsie and Bootsie slamming the door on them is shown)
Munchy: Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Flick: Aw, cheese and quackers! I’d rather make my own movie than think about how I’m going to find a film!
Peanut: (pause) What was that, Flick?
Flick: I said, “I’d rather make my own movie than think about—”
Peanut: That’s it! We’ll make a movie! (Everyone cheers at the idea)
Song:
“Gonna Make a Movie”
Jelly: Better grab a camera.
Peanut: Better write a story.
Peanut and Jelly: (together) ‘Cause nothing’s gonna take away from our movie making glory.
Munchy: Get some film, get some stars…
Flick: When we’re famous, we get limo cars!
Flick and Munchy: (together) There’s nothing better that we like…
Everyone: …than making a movie…
Pinch: (talking) Don’t forget the mike!
Everyone: A movie, a movie. When we’re done, it’ll be so much fun to see. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today.
Pinch: There are so many things that we could do.
Everyone: A guy whose favorite color’s blue…
Peanut: A mouse who sneezes…Ahh choo! (falls backwards and quickly gets up)
Everyone: Every idea is something new. But there’s nothing better that we like then making a movie…
Flick: (looking at a script; speaking) Wait—who’s “Spike?”
Everyone: A movie, a movie. When we’re done it’ll be so much fun to see. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today.
Munchy: If we don’t want to stop, we will need props.
Peanut: I’ve got your props. Some old flip flops…
Jelly: A helmet that takes you to the moon…
Flick: Don’t forget the red balloon.
Pinch: A hero’s cape should not escape.
Munchy: We even have some window drapes.
Everyone: But there’s nothing better that we like than making a movie…
Peanut: (talking) I broke my bike.
Everyone: A movie, a movie. When we’re done, it’ll be so much fun to see. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today!
End of Song
Wipe to: Peanut bringing out props
(Peanut is carrying a large box with various items inside)
Peanut: Hey, y’all. I got the props.
(Everyone runs over to where Peanut puts down the box)
Pinch: (reaches into box and pulls out a crown) Let’s make a fairy princess movie. (dances around)
Flick: Are you kidding? Mallard Man is perfect movie material compared to a movie about dancing princesses and their (mimicking voice) magic little wands!
Pinch: Princess!
Flick: Mallard Man!
Pinch: Princess!
Flick: Mallard Man!
Peanut: Hey, y’all. Calm down. We can all come up with an idea together.
Flick: I still think Mallard Man is a good idea!
(Pinch groans at Flick)
Wipe to: Everyone standing in a circle
Jelly: What can we do that everyone will like?
Munchy: I know! Bucky Spacebeaver and the Wooden Warriors!
(A thought balloon appears over Munchy where his idea is shown. Peanut, Flick, and Scootch are the wooden warriors)
Wooden Warriors: It is us, the Wooden Warriors!
Bucky / Munchy: Oh no! What will I—did you say wooden?
Warrior Peanut: Yes, but—
Bucky / Munchy: (pulls out a fork and knife) Chow time!
(The Wooden Warriors run away screaming as Munchy chases them)
Dissolve to: Reality
Peanut: I don’t want to be wooden, thank you very much!
Butter: Party!
(Butter’s vision of her movie idea is shown. It consists of the kids dressed up as stuffed animals dancing around Butter, who is standing on a table set for a tea party.)
Flick: Aaah! Get that away! (pops Butter’s thought balloon)
Jelly: This is going to be harder than I thought.
Scootch: (pulls out megaphone from box)
Pinch: Scootch, no! The volume is—
Scootch: (causing a loud screeching sound as he speaks) Testing, testing.
Pinch: --too high.
Scootch: Sorry. Sorry. My fault. My fault.
Peanut: Why don’t we just get ready and go along with what we’ve got? It’ll be a cinch.
Munchy: Great idea, Peanut! Let’s do it!
Wipe to: Ootsie and Bootsie coming to where the kids are setting up the equipment for their movie
Ootsie: (referring to noise Scootch made earlier with megaphone) What was…
Bootsie: …that loud… (with Ootsie) …noise?
Ootsie: And just what are you doing?
Jelly: We’re getting ready to make a movie.
Ootsie: You?
Bootsie: Make a movie?
Peanut: Yeah! You want to make one with us?
Ootsie & Bootsie: (laugh together)
(Ootsie and Bootsie exit OS, still laughing; when they do, water splashes up onto the kids from out of nowhere)
Peanut: How did they do that?
Jelly: I don’t know.
Flick: Cheese and quackers! Let’s stop worrying about that and start making our movie!
Wipe to: The kids about to make their movie
(Ernest is the camera man. The kids’ set consists of a sheet of paper with medieval scenery drawn on it in a childish type of style as the background, along with a castle made out of cardboard.)
Peanut: (poking his head out from behind their background) Thanks for being our camera man, Dad.
Ernest: Thanks for asking, Peanut. (to the whole group) Okay. Places, everybody. And…action! (starts recording)
(Peanut and Munchy walk out dressed as knights)
Peanut: Oh, Knight Munchy, we cannot go on our journey any longer.
Munchy: Why, Knight Peanut?
Peanut: A dragon guards the path to the princess.
(Scootch comes out dressed like a dragon but the most harmless looking one you can imagine)
Scootch: (Running across the set) Yaaaah! (runs into and knocks over a cardboard tree which is part of the set) Sorry. Sorry.
Munchy: The dragon apologizes. Clearly a change of heart, am I right, Knight Peanut?
Peanut: You are! On to save the princess! (marches with Munchy towards the castle part of the set)
Cut to: Flick, Jelly, and Pinch behind the set
(Jelly and Pinch are trying to get Flick to go out wearing a princess costume)
Flick: No! I’m not going out there!
Jelly: But you have to.
Pinch: You’re the star!
Flick: Forget it! I’m not going out there wearing a dress! It’ll be recorded!
(Pinch puts the dress on Flick)
Jelly: (gently pushing him in a way to tell him to go out there) Just go. You’ll be great.
Cut to: The front of the set
Peanut: Hark! The princess is here!
Flick: (annoyed) Give me a break. (in a girlish sort of voice) Oh help me, young knights! Save me from the tower!
Munchy: Onward we move!
Peanut: We must save the princess!
Cut to: The Cranes observing the kids making the movie
Cap’n Crane: Watchbird alert! Watchbird alert! The kids are playing with swords, Connie!
Connie Crane: (clearly not paying much attention) What’s that, dear?
Cap’n Crane: I said, ‘The kids are playing with swords!’
Connie Crane: (looks over the balcony and sees Peanut and Munchy holding cardboard swords; she walks back and sits back down in the chair she was sitting in) Cap’n, the ‘swords’ the kids are playing with are made of cardboard.
Cap’n Crane: Cardboard? Oh. Heh, heh. I knew that.
Cut to: The set where the kids are making the movie
Flick: (to Ernest) Annnd cut!
Ernest: (stops recording) What’s the matter, Flick?
Flick: If I have to be a princess, then I might as well just make my own movie.
Peanut: Don’t say that, Flick. We’ll be able to work this out…I hope.
Commercial Break
(episode resumes)
Ernest: I have an idea, kids. (pulls a hat out of the prop box) Y’all write down your movie ideas (pulls a pad of paper out of his “pocket”), and I’ll draw one from this hat. (tears off and hands paper to each kid) Whichever one I pick, we do. (hands everyone a pencil)
Flick: Please, Mr. Otter. Whatever you do, please don’t draw a girly idea from the hat.
(Everyone writes down their ideas in 3 seconds and hands them to Ernest)
Ernest: Okay, everyone. I’m drawing an idea from the hat. (reaches in and pulls a piece of paper out of the hat) And the movie y’all will do is…
Flick: Please don’t be girly…please don’t be girly…
Ernest: …“The Beautiful Ballet.”
Flick: Cheese and quackers, no! Whose idea was that, anyway?
Pinch: (laughs nervously while blushing)
Jelly: There’s got to be some way that we can agree on a movie to make.
Pinch: The only question is, “What?”
Jelly: I know! Let’s do the Noodle Dance! That should help us!
Peanut: I’ll noodle, but I don’t feel like dancing.
(Noodle Dance music starts)
Noodle, use your noodleNoodle, do the Noodle DanceSolve a problemThat’s no strainUse your noodleThat’s your brainUse your noodleUse your brainDo the Noodle DanceIn a bindJust use your mindUse your noodle
Munchy: I’ve got it!Peanut: What? What happened? What?
Munchy: (his idea is shown) We can get an Agrument Solver 2000 and have that find an idea for us to agree on!
Peanut: Great idea, Munch. Do you know where we can find an Argument Solver 2000?
Munchy: No. I thought you had one.
Peanut: Nope. Man, this is one hard problem to solve.
Ernest: Not really. I think I may have found your solution.
Everyone but Ernest: What? What is it? (Etc.)
Ernest: Y’all remember that Mallard Man movie that Mayor Jeff showed you, right?
Flick: What’s that got to do with anything?
Ernest: I was thinking…perhaps you could make your own ending for the movie!
Peanut: Great idea, Dad! Come on, y’all! Let’s make a movie!
Wipe to: The background and props set up
Ernest: Places, everyone! Lights…camera…action! (starts recording)
Flick: Oh no! Could it be the rampaging robots?
Peanut: (in a robotic voice) Take me to your leader.
Munchy: (in a robotic voice) We are not aliens, remember?
Peanut: (in a robotic voice) Oh, right.
Flick: What are you doing? What have you done?
Munchy: (in a robotic voice) We have captured a girl.
(Camera pans over to reveal Pinch who is behind bars made out of cardboard)
Pinch: (with a tad too much pep) Oh, save me! Somebody!
Flick: Not to worry! Mallard Man is here! I will use my x-ray vision to free you. (tries to do so) Hmm…must have blown a fuse.
(Jelly, Butter, and Scootch come dressed in a superhero-ish way)
Jelly: Don’t worry, Mallard Man! Jammin’ Jelly and the Brave Babies will help you!
Butter and Scootch: (giggle)
Jelly: Have you tried bending the bars?
Flick: No. As a matter of fact, I haven’t.
Peanut: (in a robotic voice) You’re not planning to…?
Jelly: Come on, Mallard Man. I and the Brave Babies will bend the bars with you!
Flick: Sounds like a plan to me.
(Flick, Jelly, Butter, and Scootch walk up to where Pinch is “behind bars”)
Munchy: (in a robotic voice) Wait…don’t…
Jelly: On the count of three. (the four of them grab the bars) One…two…three!
(They rip off the parts of the bars that they were grabbing onto)
Scootch: (in the background of the above mentioned action) Yaaah!
Pinch: I’m free! (runs through the hole in the bars) Thank you, Mallard Man! (gives Flick a hug)
Flick: (disgusted) Eww! Gross!
Ernest: (stops recording) Cut! And that’s a wrap! Great job, everyone! You all did great!
All of the Kids: Yay! Yeah! Hooray! Yes! (they laugh)
(Mayor Jeff comes and interrupts the laughter)
Mayor Jeff: Hey, y’all! I have great news!
Peanut: (taking a couple seconds to stop his laughter) What is it, Mayor Jeff?
Mayor Jeff: You won’t believe this, but I found the film!
Everyone: Yay!
Mayor Jeff: I can show you the rest of it now. (notices Ernest) Why don’t you come too, Ernest?
Ernest: Thanks, Mayor Jeff. I’d be more than happy to.
(Everyone goes towards Mayor Jeff’s house-boat)
Fade to: Nightime; the Otter family is sitting at their dock
Opal: So, how was the movie, everyone?
Peanut: It was great!
Jelly: I loved it!
Opal: That’s great that you kids liked it. How about you, Ernest?
Ernest: I had a great time too, Opal.
Jelly: But you know, the ending wasn’t as good as what we did.
Opal: So you kids finally agreed on something?
Peanut: Yeah. It really is much more fun when you do something everyone wants to do.
Opal: (laughs)
Ernest: Well, kids. It’s about time for you to brush your teeth and get to bed.
Jelly: Aw, Dad.
Peanut: Let’s try doing something everyone wants to do.
Ernest: Nice try, kids.
(Everyone laughs as we all zoom out and see most of Lake Hoohaw)
End