Asleep In the bedroom of his rent-controlled apartment, Leon Lash, unemployed writer, sleeps the sleep
of the just. But what is that strange, human-shaped lump lying in bed next to him? And what will Leon do when he
wakes to find he is not alone?
I’m pretty sure I went to bed alone. I think I would’ve
noticed if someone else was there. I’m usually good about
not going to bed with strangers. Did I drink last
night? When was the last time I drank? Maybe I picked up a girl in a drunken fugue and brought her back for gin-
soaked fondlings. Except I’m sure I didn’t drink last night. Probably. Maybe I got so drunk that I forgot I was drinking? Is that a thing? Does alcohol give you shadow memories? I remember watching TV and
reading Internet and going to bed alone. Could this all have
been a lie, ginned up by overindulgence? Did I consume the night itself along with shots of rum and rye? Fuck.
Knowing that his uninvited bedmate will be roused eventually, if not by his own action then by the hands of the
clock and the rosy fingers of dawn, Leon Lash pulls back the sheets to gaze upon the lump's true form...
Knowing that his uninvited bedmate will be roused eventually, if not by his own action then by the hands of the
clock and the rosy fingers of dawn, Leon Lash pulls back the sheets to gaze upon the lump's true form...
Hi!
Leon Lash sees that the lump is a very beautiful woman, except that she is a humanoid ant monster, with skin the color of fresh blood, antennae
extending from her flowing raven hair, and pincers on either side of her
beautiful smile. As a result, Leon Lash screams effeminately and struggles
to get away.
Leon Lash sees that the lump is a very beautiful woman, except that she is a humanoid ant monster, with skin the color of fresh blood, antennae
extending from her flowing raven hair, and pincers on either side of her
beautiful smile. As a result, Leon Lash screams effeminately and struggles
to get away.
Why do you run, darling? Calm yourself!!
Who...what are you?I am The Ant Queen
of Formica 6!!
Are you going to eat me? Eat you? Your comedy
is humorous. You and I shall be lovers.
Who...what are you?I am The Ant Queen
of Formica 6!!
Are you going to eat me?
Uh, excuse me?
Eat you? Your comedy is humorous. You and
I shall be lovers.
Who...what are you?I am The Ant Queen
of Formica 6!!
Are you going to eat me?
Uh, excuse me?
Eat you? Your comedy is humorous. You and
I shall be lovers.
Do your ears lack virtue? We shall be wed in the manner of impregnated teenagers, you and I. I
have come from far away, all the way from Formica
6, to be with you.
OhAre you not Leon Lash?
Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the
only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of
Formica 6.
OhAre you not Leon Lash?
Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the
only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of
Formica 6.
That’s very flattering.
OhAre you not Leon Lash?
Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the
only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of
Formica 6.
That’s very flattering. Silence!
You do not seem veryexcited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news.
Yet you are unhappy.
OhAre you not Leon Lash?
Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the
only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of
Formica 6.
That’s very flattering.
Why do you say that?
Silence!You do not seem very
excited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news.
Yet you are unhappy.
OhAre you not Leon Lash?
Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the
only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of
Formica 6.
That’s very flattering.
Why do you say that?
Silence!You do not seem very
excited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news.
Yet you are unhappy.
You are making a face.
OhAre you not Leon Lash?
Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the
only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of
Formica 6.
That’s very flattering.
Why do you say that?
Silence!You do not seem very
excited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news.
Yet you are unhappy.
You are making a face. JERK.
Lies! I have seen your face many times on your blog-drip. This is not the face of Leon
Lash. This is the face of discontent.
This is just what my face looks like.
I HAVE KIND OF A WEIRD FACE.
It’s just...I don’t really know you. I don’t really marry people
unless I know them. I'M KINDOF ROMANTIC AND...
It’s just...I don’t really know you. I don’t really marry people
unless I know them. I'M KINDOF ROMANTIC AND
Silence!
You do not wish to know The Ant Queen of Formica 6 in a sexual manner?
It’s just...I don’t really know you. I don’t really marry people
unless I know them. I'M KINDOF ROMANTIC AND
Silence!
You do not wish to know The Ant Queen of Formica 6 in a sexual manner?
Am I not bountiful?
Uh, do you want breakfast? I think we should just talk.
I will consume your breakfasts. We will talk much so. Very much so.”
In his tastefully-appointed kitchen, Leon Lash prepares a delicious
breakfast of sausage and eggs for himself and a piece of bread covered in heaping spoonfuls of sugar for The Ant Queen of Formica 6, as that seems like the kind of thing that an ant would
like.
In his tastefully-appointed kitchen, Leon Lash prepares a delicious
breakfast of sausage and eggs for himself and a piece of bread covered in heaping spoonfuls of sugar for The Ant Queen of Formica 6, as that seems like the kind of thing that an ant would
like.
In conclusion, I think we should just be friends. I don't think our lifestyles or genitals would be
compatible.
In conclusion, I think we should just be friends. I don't think our lifestyles or genitals
would really be compatible.
In conclusion, I think we should just be friends. I
don't think our lifestyles or genitals would be compatible.
Friends?!!The Ant Queen of Formica 6 did
not swim the stars to be friends. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 already has many friends, each more amicable
than the last.
In conclusion, I think we should just be friends. I don't think our lifestyles or genitals
would really compatible.
In conclusion, I think we should just be friends. I don't think our lifestyles or genitals
would really be compatible.
I don't know what else to tell you. It's just
not going to happen. Please don't kill me.
I will let this fool believe that The Ant Queen of Formica 6 intends
only to be “friends” with his tender flesh, then I will ensnare him with my feminine wiles when he least
expects it!!
I don't know what else to tell you. It's just
not going to happen. Please don't kill me.
I don't know what else to tell you. It's just
not going to happen. Please don't kill me.
Yes then. Friends. Weshall be very good
friends.
I don't know what else to tell you. It's just
not going to happen. Please don't kill me.
And so, The ant queen of formica 6 moved into leon lash's apartment, sleeping every night on his lavish
couch. Leon lash was not particularly comfortable with this, but he is too
afraid too confront the ant queen of formica 6 about her living situation.
In his tastefully-appointed kitchen, Leon Lash prepares a delicious
breakfast of sausage and eggs for himself and a piece of bread covered in heaping spoonfuls of sugar for The Ant Queen of Formica 6, as that seems like the kind of thing that an ant would
like.
Throughout this convivial period, Leon Lash and the ant queen of formica 6 share many exciting
adventures, adventures like...
And so, The ant queen of formica 6 moved into leon lash's apartment, sleeping every night on his lavish
couch. Leon lash was not particularly comfortable with this, but he is too
afraid too confront the ant queen of formica 6 about her living situation.
DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK
IN THE FRIDGE?!
THE hoary HORROR OF THE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!
DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK
IN THE FRIDGE?!
THE hoary HORROR OF THE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!
The ant Queen of formica 6 would never do such
things.
DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK
IN THE FRIDGE?!
THE hoary HORROR OF THE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!
It's cool. You just have to tell me when we're out of milk so I can go to the
store and get more.
The ant Queen of formica 6 would never do such
things.
Perhaps I may have suckled from the udder of the bovine. I shall
make amends via oil massages!
DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK
IN THE FRIDGE?!
THE hoary HORROR OF THE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!
It's cool. You just have to tell me when we're out of milk so I can go to the
store and get more.
The ant Queen of formica 6 would never do such
things.
I know youknow how to speak English. What are
you trying to say?!
The Spectacular Syntactical struggle!!!
I know youknow how to speak English. Why don't you just speak
right?!
The Spectacular Syntactical struggle!!!
Your ugly tongues
simply cannot bear the poesis of the
Ant Queen's soul!!
I know youknow how to speak English. What are
you trying to say?!
I know youknow how to speak English. Why don't you just speak
right?!
The Spectacular Syntactical struggle!!!
What does that even mean? Seriously, I have no
idea what that is supposed to mean.
Your ugly tongues
simply cannot bear the poesis of the
Ant Queen's soul!!
I know youknow how to speak English. What are
you trying to say?!
Your face is mean.
I know youknow how to speak English. Why don't you just speak
right?!
The Spectacular Syntactical struggle!!!
What does that even mean? Seriously, I have no
idea what that is supposed to mean.
Your ugly tongues
simply cannot bear the poesis of the
Ant Queen's soul!!
I know youknow how to speak English. What are
you trying to say?!
What do you want to do tonight?
Movie? TV? Scrabble?
The Hapless Humor of the Ant Queen's heart!!!
Perhaps we should finally
formicate!!
What do you want to do tonight?
Movie? TV? Scrabble?
The Hapless Humor of the Ant Queen's heart!!!
What?
Perhaps we should finally
formicate!!
Perhaps we should finally
formicate!!
What do you want to do tonight?
Movie? TV? Scrabble?
The Hapless Humor of the Ant Queen's heart!!!
What?
dsI am made of hilarious jokes! It is
funny because we are friends! Right? We would never have coitus, right?
So funny!
Perhaps we should finally
formicate!!
Perhaps we should finally
formicate!!
What do you want to do tonight?
Movie? TV? Scrabble?
The Hapless Humor of the Ant Queen's heart!!!
What?
dsI am made of hilarious jokes! It is
funny because we are friends! Right? We would never have coitus, right?
So funny!
Perhaps we should finally
formicate!!
Jumpin' Joe sez!-Formicus is the latin word for ant! Ant Queen is using it to
make a pun about fucking!
Perhaps we should finally
formicate!!
I like to thinkthat it's like waking up,
you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we
wake up.
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!
I like to thinkthat it's like waking up,
you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we
wake up.
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!
On formica 6, it is believed that
death is the shadow of life, dark and empty,
but a necessary consequence of the
light.
I like to thinkthat it's like waking up,
you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we
wake up.
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!
Do youBelievethat?
On formica 6, it is believed that
death is the shadow of life, dark and empty,
but a necessary consequence of the
light.
I like to thinkthat it's like waking up,
you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we
wake up.
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!
Do youBelievethat?
dsThe Ant-queen of
Formica 6 does not believe.
On formica 6, it is believed that
death is the shadow of life, dark and empty,
but a necessary consequence of the
light.
I like to thinkthat it's like waking up,
you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we
wake up.
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!
Do youBelievethat?
dsThe Ant-queen of Formica 6...hopes.
On formica 6, it is believed that
death is the shadow of life, dark and empty,
but a necessary consequence of the
light.
With each passing day, the friendship of Leon Lash and The Ant Queen of
Formica 6 grows stronger and with it, the ant queen of formica 6's hopes that her love will soon be requited. It is not until one fateful evening, several months after her first appearance, that
the moment of truth must come.
Oh my god!! What happened to you?
The ant queen of choke< > formica 6 consumed the
remainder of the milk. she... sought to replenish it in the
store and was assaulted.
Oh my god!! What happened to you?
The ant queen of choke< > formica 6 consumed the
remainder of the milk. she... sought to replenish it in the
store and was assaulted.
Lie down. I'm goingto go get some paper towels
for the blood. I told you not to leave during the day. People are
fucking crazy.
Okay. I'm here. It'sI'm here. Don't worry.
You'll be okay.
Do not leave me now, Leon lash. Please,
do not leave me.
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