Part 2:How to Nail Your Essay

November 17, 2009

Today

1. Essay Workshop: Part 22. Jeopardy Quotation Selection (time

permitting)

Review from Part 1

1. Read comments from earlier2. Talk to your instructor3. Start early4. Brainstorming5. Outlining6. Concession-refutation thesis7. Paragraph mechanics8. Quote integration

4. Brainstorming/Outlining

Is Gertrude a good mother?

Topic

•Wants him to get out of his funk (1.2.68)•Unaware of Hamlet’s digs (1.2.75)•Wants him to stay at Elsinore (1.2.119)•More interested in R&G as Hamlet’s friends, not using him (2.2.19)

Evidence

Major Point 1

Major Point 3

Major Point 2

Thesis

Part 2

1. Introduction2. Topic sentences relating back to thesis3. Quote integration (yes, again)4. Citations5. Avoiding plagiarism6. Grammar/Punctuation7. Low-content and wordiness8. Conclusion

1. Introduction

1. Gripping first sentence2. Background/context3. Narrow thesis

No low-content spots No diving into details yet Write this last

Attention-Grabber First Sentence Significance of your subject Well-phrased quotation Startling statement Ask a question Begin with a generalization (be careful!) Challenge a common opinion Begin with a definition Describe an interesting

incident/anecdote

1. Introduction

Task 1: 1. Add an attention-grabbing first sentence2. Make the background/context more

specific3. Eliminate low-content spots

2. Topic Sentences

All topic sentences should relate back to the thesis

Use key words from the introduction to remind reader of the structure

Always include transitions in each topic sentence

2. Topic Sentences

Task 2:

All topic sentences in the sample paper are great except one. Find it and make it better.

3. Quote Integration

1. Frame all quotes—never drop a quote on its own

2. Change the original pronouns and use present tense

3. Make it short—summarize, paraphrase, use square brackets, or use ellipses

4. Use proper punctuation: double quotations, and only a comma before a quote if replaceable by “that.”

3. Quote Integration

Claudius explains that “I have sent to seek him, and to find the body” (4.3.1).

Claudius explains that he has “sent to seek [Hamlet], and to find the body” of Polonius (4.3.1).

3. Quote Integration

Task 3:Look at paragraph 4—there are three

examples of the four quotation problems. Find these problems and fix them.

4. Citations

Cite the act, scene, and line(s)—in that order Use Arabic numerals only Put rounded brackets around the citation Put it outside the quotations with punctuation

following Use a slash mark to indicate line breaks

If I cite act 3, scene 4, line 12:

“blah blah blah” (3.4.12).

4. Citations

Task 4:Paragraph 3 has bad citations. Fix them.

5. Plagiarism

Even ripping ideas from the internet is plagiarism

Recycling an old paper/your friend’s paper is plagiarism

Go through ideas practiced in workshop part 1.

Blood-red document

6. Grammar/Punctuation

Biggest errors Comma spliceIndependent clause, independent clause FragmentDependent clause.

6. Grammar/Punctuation

Biggest errors1. Possessive apostrophe

Hamlet’s motherThe two guards’ shields

2. Semi-colonIndependent clause; independent clause

6. Grammar/Punctuation

Task:Find these grammar/punctuation errors in

the essay

7. Low Content

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

A verb that links sentence parts but does not communicate an action “To be” (is, was, were, etc.)

7.What is a Linking Verb?

                                                                                                                             

7.What is a Linking Verb?

verb

verb

Harriet was the CFO.

Harriet served as CFO.

7.Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs

Linking verb

Action verb

Linking verb:

The focus of this workshop is recent developments in computer scanning. (11 words)

Action Verb:

This workshop focuses on recent developments in computer scanning.

(9 words)

Eliminate Unnecessary Linking Verbs

Linking verb

Linking verb:

This is a difficult problem that requires further investigation. (9 words)

Action Verb:

This difficult problem requires further investigation. (6 words)

Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs“To Be” is Not the Only Linking Verb

Why is this sentence difficult to understand?

Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family

and work has become necessary in today’s corporate

environment.

Linking verb

Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs“To Be” is Not the Only Linking Verb

Why is this sentence difficult to understand?

Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family

and work has become necessary in today’s corporate

environment.

Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs“To Be” is Not the Only Linking Verb

Linking verb

Action verb Action verb

Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family

and work has become necessary in today’s corporate

environment.

Today’s corporations must recognize that most employees

struggle to meet both work and family demands.

Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs:Avoid Vague Nouns

Linking verb

Action verb Action verb

Vague nouns

Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family

and work has become necessary in today’s corporate

environment.

Today’s corporations must recognize that most employees

struggle to meet both work and family demands.

In General, Avoid Overusing Nouns The committee reached the conclusion that a great

majority of students had a preference for mail-in registration.

In General, Avoid Overusing NounsNoun Noun

Noun

The committee reached the conclusion that a great majority of

students had a preference for mail-in registration. (18 words)

Noun Noun

Noun

In General, Avoid Overusing Nouns

The committee reached the conclusion that a great majority of

students had a preference for mail-in registration. (18 words)

The committee concluded that most students preferred mail-in registration. (10 words)

Why is This Sentence Difficult to Understand?

The identification and classification of the various types of impediments to change within our company are vital steps toward the introduction of new strategies and solutions.

Why is This Sentence Difficult to Understand?

verbThe identification and classification of the

variousvarious types of impediments to change

within our company are vital steps toward

the introduction of new strategies and

solutions.

Revision

verb

We must identify and classify obstacles

to change before we can introduce

strategies and solutions.

verb

verb

7. Low-content/Wordiness

Fix the two wordy sentences in the seventh paragraph.

8. Conclusion

Restate topic sentences (using new wording)

Remind the reader of how great your paper was

Admit limitations of your study/what could also be looked at with further analysis

Write this second to last