20160126 Edanz Gunma

Trevor Lane, PhD Julian Tang, PhD

Author Success Workshop:

Effectively Communicate Your Research in Your Manuscript

Gunma University

26 January 2016

S

Be an effective communicator

Your goal is not only to be published, but also to be widely read and cited

Logically communicating your ideas in your manuscript

Making the best first impression

Developing your writing skills

Section 1

How to start writing

Coverage and Staffing Plan Prepare well

Logical, engaging, useful message

Original and novel research

Well-designed, well-reported,

transparent study News value, importance, timeliness

What editors want

High scientific & technical quality, sound

research/publication ethics

High readability & interest; clear, real-world

relevance

No plagiarism or redundancy

No fabrication or falsification

Always follow ethics guidelines

Committee on Publication Ethics, COPE


Choose your journal early!

Author guidelines • Manuscript structure • Word limits, References • Procedures, Copyright

Aims and scope • Topics • Readership • Be sure to emphasize

• Check relevant references • Check originality, importance & usefulness!


Where to start?

Your findings form the basis of your manuscript

First organize your findings

Logic, then English language

Figure 1

Figure 2

Table 1

Figure 3

Logical flow • Chronology • Most to least

important • General to

specific • Whole+parts

Is anything missing?

? Additional analyses?

Start with your illustrations

Coverage and Staffing Plan Prepare well Prepare an outline

I. Introduction A. General background B. Related studies C. Problems in the field D. Aims

II. Methods A. Subjects/Samples/Materials B. General methods C. Specific methods D. Statistical analyses

III. Results A. Key points about Figure 1 B. Key points about Table 1 C. Key points about Figure 2 D. Key points about Figure 3 E. Key points about Figure 4

IV. Discussion A. Major conclusion B. Key findings that support conclusion C. Relevance to published studies D. Limitations E. Unexpected results F. Implications G. Future directions

Write down key ideas in bullet points, as IMRaD (=Introduction, Methods, Results,

and Discussion)

Use reporting guidelines

No need for sentences or correct

English yet

Then, draft the title/abstract

List information from your reading in the appropriate section: Paraphrase with citations!

Coverage and Staffing Plan Prepare well Manuscript structure

How does your study contribute to your field?

What did you find?

What did you do?

Why did you do the study?

Title/Abstract

Introduction

Methods

Results

Discussion


Title/Abstract

Introduction

Methods

Results

Discussion

Title/Abstract

Methods

Results

Discussion

Introduction

Abstract /Title

write

The ‘write’ order

Coverage and Staffing Plan Prepare well Get feedback

Write your manuscript section-by-section – Less stressful – Get feedback after each section; set deadlines – Easier for your colleagues to review

Revise for content, overall logic, and journal style (see guidelines/past papers)

Edit for consistency, conciseness, clarity & accuracy

Get feedback from pre-submission peer review

Get language assistance

Coverage and Staffing Plan Prepare well Journal Selector

www.edanzediting.co.jp/journal_selector

Insert your proposed abstract/title or keywords


Filter/sort by: • Field of study • Impact factor • Indexed in SCI • Open access • Publishing frequency

Journal’s aims & scope, IF, and publication frequency

• Author guidelines • Journal website

Similar abstracts

Journal Selector www.edanzediting.co.jp/journal_selector


THINK Trusted and appropriate?

SUBMIT Only if OK

thinkchecksubmit.org

CHECK Do you know the journal?

Trustworthy journals

Section 2


Manuscript structure

Aim

Introduction

Current state of the field

Background information

Specific aim/approach/contents

Problem in the field

Previous studies

Current study

General

Specific Importance/hypothesis

Worldwide relevance? Broad/specialized?

Recent, International Not too many self-cites

Check journal if Results can be previewed

Why is your study needed?

Manuscript structure Introduction





Importance/hypothesis

Scaffold-based tissue engineering involves the combination of

cells, bioactive factors and structural scaffolding materials

to promote repair and regeneration of

tissues.1-3







Researchers have recently developed

many scaffold materials for specific

injury sites. These scaffolds effectively

support cell attachment and

growth….







…Integrating electrospun scaffolds

with cells remains challenging. It is often difficult for

cells that are cultured on electrospun fibers

to penetrate into pores.







…Optimizing both porous and

mechanical features of scaffolds for tissue

engineering would be a crucial step in

simulating the extracellular matrix.







…This study aimed to design and fabricate

poly(glycolic acid) scaffolds using

electrospinning to consistently allow cellular infiltration into the scaffolds.







…We report the results of five experiments

reflecting different approaches of

scaffold production and the effects on cell infiltration and

tissue development.

Manuscript structure Problem/knowledge gap

However, …an alternative approach… …a challenge …a need for clarification… …a problem/weakness with… …has not been dealt with… …remains unstudied …requires clarification …is not sufficiently (+ adjective) …is ineffective/inaccurate/inadequate/inconclusive/incorrect ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Few studies have… There is an urgent need to… There is growing concern that… Little evidence is available on… It is necessary to… Little work has been done on…

Key phrases


For lithium manganese spinel electrodes, obtaining substituted spinels of a general formula Li[LiqMn2-q]O4 and decreasing the size of particles by pyrolysis lead to better cycling ability….However, particles exhibit fast aggregation upon thermal treatment with citric acid pyrolysis in air.


Your aims must directly address the problem

Study sample

Variables Outcome

Lithium manganese spinel electrodes

Excess lithium ions Particle size

Pyrolysis conditions

Improved physical and electrochemical

properties Modified from: Potapenko et al. Mater Renew Sustain Energy. 2015; 4: 40.

Writing the Introduction


Your aims must directly address the problem

We describe the properties of Li[Li0.033Mn1.967]O4 after pyrolysis in an inert atmosphere. Its particle size is smaller, the degree of aggregation is lower, and high-rate properties are better that for its analogue pyrolyzed in air.

Study aims

Modified from: Potapenko et al. Mater Renew Sustain Energy. 2015; 4: 40.


For lithium manganese spinel electrodes, obtaining substituted spinels of a general formula Li[LiqMn2-q]O4 and decreasing the size of particles by pyrolysis lead to better cycling ability….However, particles exhibit fast aggregation upon thermal treatment with citric acid pyrolysis in air.

Writing the Introduction

Manuscript structure Methods

What was done

• Variables measured • Processes, treatments, measurements • General to specific

• Quantification; models/equations • Statistical tests (& P level) • Consult a statistician

Who/what was studied

• Tests, controls • Number of samples/sets of tests • Materials/equipment (+ maker)

Data analysis

What did you do?


Established techniques

• Cite previously published studies • Briefly state modifications • Use flow chart/table if needed

• Explain purposes; justify choices • Give enough detail for reproducibility • Use Supplementary Information

Organization • Arrange in (titled) subsections • Keep parallel to the display items • Use topic sentences to start sections

New techniques

Caution notices for dangerous substances/processes …No incidents occurred; researchers have to be qualified and trained, and use

suitable protocols, precautions, and facilities

Methods


“We used NMR spectroscopy to determine the structure of the polymers.”

We name of

technique investigate

name of property.

study

measure

confirm

determine

used to

Method------------------------------Purpose

Method – Purpose

Methods


“To determine the structure of the polymers, we used NMR spectroscopy.”

we name of

technique.

used

Purpose-----------------------------Method

Purpose – Method

Methods

investigate

name of property,

study

measure

confirm

determine

To

Manuscript structure Results

• Synthesis, characteristics • Group, subgroups • Algorithm, trial, improvement

• Each subsection relates to one figure and method

• What you found, not what it means

• Use Supplementary Information

• Data accessibility

Logical presentation

Subsections

Factual description

What did you find?


Treatment A reduced soil lead levels by 32.7% and increased soil pH by 12.3%. Treatment B reduced soil lead levels by 22.3% and increased soil pH by 15.6%. Treatment C reduced soil lead levels by 38.1% and increased soil pH by 6.9%.

Describe relationships among your results


Treatment C reduced soil lead levels (38.1%) more effectively than treatments A (32.7%) and B (22.3%). However, treatment B increased soil pH levels (15.6%) more effectively than treatments A (12.3%) and C (6.9%).

Describe relationships among your results

Manuscript structure Discussion

Summary of results

Relevance

Conclusion

Similarities/differences Unexpected/negative results Limitations (validity, reliability)

Implications

Previous studies

Current study

Future studies

Specific

General

How do you advance your field?

Manuscript structure Discussion

Summary of results

Relevance

Conclusion

Similarities/differences Unexpected/negative results Limitations (validity, reliability)

Implications

Previous studies

Current study

Future studies

Specific

General

How do you advance your field?

This study demonstrates

for the first time that…

Manuscript structure Combined Results–Discussion

Results Interpretation

Figure 1


Figure 2


Figure 3


Figure 4

Initial observation


Characterization

Application

Manuscript structure Combined Methods– Results–Discussion

Methods & Results Interpretation

Figure 1


Figure 2


Figure 3


Figure 4

Initial observation


Characterization

Application


0

10

20

30

40

50

1 2 3 4 5

Check your opinions

Over 5 days of reverse bias

reliability testing the current of

the devices increased from 32 ±

10 μA to 43 ± 17 μA (Figure 2).

This rise in current may be

explained by…

Do you agree with this interpretation?

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

1 2 3 4 5Time (days)

Cu

rren

t (μ

A)

What happens after 5 days? Is this real?


What do you want people to remember?

Writing the end of your Discussion

May be a separate section

May be a “Future work” section

In conclusion, polymeric nanoparticles could be used as a generic carrier of hydrophobic drugs for efficient delivery. Compared with drug administration alone, these nanoparticles mediated a higher and more rapid uptake of the encapsulated drug by nanoparticle-cell contact-mediated transfer. A contact-mediated mechanism of delivery into the cytosol could enable effective delivery of anticancer drugs directly to the intracellular molecular targets. Further understanding of this contact-based transfer mechanism will be important to exploit this novel delivery system for the administration of hydrophobic chemotherapeutic drugs to improve cancer therapy.

Conclusion

Key result

Implications

Importance & Future

directions

Modified from: Snipstad et al. Cancer Nanotech. 2014; 5: 8.

Manuscript structure Link your ideas

General background

Aims

Methodology

Results and figures

Summary of results

Implications for the field

Relevance of results


Current state of the field Introduction

Methods

Results

Discussion

Solution

Situation/Problem

Evaluation/Comment

Manuscript structure Avoid common peer reviewer complaints

Ideas are not logically organized; Poor presentation

Purpose and relevance are unclear

Topics in the Results/Discussion are not in the Introduction

Methods are unclear (variables, missing data)

Not discussed: Negative results, limitations, implications

Discussion has repeated results; Conclusions too general

Cited studies are not up-to-date

Activity 1

Please see Activity 1 in your workbook

Section 3


Customer Service Marketing your work Title and abstract

First impression of paper: clear/concise/convincing

Importance of your results

Validity of your conclusions

Relevance of your aims

It sells your work: Readers judge your style & credibility

Often first/only part that is read by

readers & reviewers

Your title & abstract summarize your study


Title

Important points

Only the main idea Accurate, simple Model/system Include keywords Fewer than 20 words Method/study type

Avoid

Unneeded words (A/The; A study of) Complex or sensational words Complex word order Abbreviations, jargon “New” or “novel”


Interrogative Quantifying electron transfer reactions in biological systems: what interactions

play the major role?

Indicative/ Descriptive

Highly efficient light management for perovskite solar cells

… + Method (subtitle)

Distribution of cations in FeSbO4: A computer modeling study

Assertive/ Declarative

Coral mucus fuels the sponge loop in warm- and cold-water coral reef

ecosystems / Insect stereopsis demonstrated using a 3D insect cinema

Title


Context Background, problem, aim

Results Outcomes, effects

(+ statistics and key data)

Conclusion Relevance, implications Learning points, future

Methods Materials, equipment

Treatments, measurements

No references, unusual abbreviations, figures/tables Check guidelines/samples: I or We or This study/The author, active/passive, tenses

Abstract

Customer Service Marketing your work Unstructured abstract

Three-dimensional hierarchical ternary nanostructures for high-performance Li-ion battery anodes

Silicon is considered one of the most promising anode materials for high-performance Li-ion batteries due to its 4200 mAh/g theoretical specific capacity, relative abundance, low cost, and environmental benignity. However, silicon experiences a dramatic volume change (∼300%) during full charge/discharge cycling, leading to severe capacity decay and poor cycling stability. Here, we report a three-dimensional (3D) ternary silicon nanoparticles/conducting polymer/carbon nanotubes hybrid anode material for Li-ion batteries. The hierarchical conductive hydrogel framework with carbon nanotubes as the electronic fortifier offers a continuous electron transport network and high porosity to accommodate the volume expansion of Si particles. By 3D wrapping of silicon nanoparticles/single-wall carbon nanotubes with conducting polymer nanostructures, a greatly improved cycling performance is achieved with reversible discharge capacity over 1600 mAh/g and 86% capacity retention over 1000 cycles at the current rate of 3.3 A/g. Our findings represent a new direction for using advanced nanostructured materials to fabricate robust, high-performance lithium-ion batteries with improved capacity decay and cycling stability.

Reprinted with permission from: Liu B, et al. Nano Lett. 2013, 13, 3414‒3419.

Customer Service Marketing your work Unstructured abstract

Silicon is considered one of the most promising anode materials for high-performance Li-ion batteries due to its 4200 mAh/g theoretical specific capacity, relative abundance, low cost, and environmental benignity. However, silicon experiences a dramatic volume change (∼300%) during full charge/discharge cycling, leading to severe capacity decay and poor cycling stability.

Context

Here, we report a three-dimensional ternary silicon nanoparticles/conducting polymer/carbon nanotubes hybrid anode material for Li-ion batteries. Methods

The hierarchical conductive hydrogel framework with carbon nanotubes as the electronic fortifier offers a continuous electron transport network and high porosity to accommodate the volume expansion of Si particles. By 3D wrapping of silicon nanoparticles/single-wall carbon nanotubes with conducting polymer nanostructures, a greatly improved cycling performance is achieved with reversible discharge capacity over 1600 mAh/g and 86% capacity retention over 1000 cycles at the current rate of 3.3 A/g.

Results

Our findings represent a new direction for using advanced nanostructured materials to fabricate robust, high-performance lithium-ion batteries with improved capacity decay and cycling stability.

Conclusions

Reprinted with permission from: Liu B, et al. Nano Lett. 2013, 13, 3414‒3419.

Customer Service Marketing your work

Dear Dr Struman,

Please find enclosed our manuscript entitled “Evaluation of ICT in Glasgow prognostic scoring in patients undergoing curative

resection for liver metastases,” which we would like to submit for publication as an Original Article in the International Medical

ICT Journal.

The Glasgow prognostic score (GPS) is of value for a variety of tumours. Several studies have investigated the prognostic value of the GPS in patients with metastatic breast cancer, but few studies have performed such an investigation for patients undergoing liver resection for liver metastases. Furthermore, there are currently no studies that have examined the prognostic value of the modified GPS (mGPS) using an ICT platform in these patients. The present study evaluated the mGPS using ICT in terms of its prognostic value for postoperative death in patients undergoing liver resection for breast cancer liver metastases.

A total of 318 patients with breast cancer liver metastases who underwent hepatectomy over a 15-year period were included in this study. The mGPS was calculated using ICT based on the levels of C-reactive protein and albumin, and the disease-free survival and cancer-specific survival rates were evaluated in relation to the mGPS. Prognostic significance was retrospectively analyzed by univariate and multivariate analyses. Overall, the results showed a significant association between cancer-specific survival and the mGPS and carcinoembryonic antigen level, and a higher mGPS was associated with increased aggressiveness of liver recurrence and poorer survival in these patients. This study is the first to demonstrate that the preoperative mGPS via a simple ICT tool is a useful prognostic factor for postoperative survival in cancer patients undergoing curative resection. This information is immediately clinically applicable for surgeons as well as hospital information and patient record systems and health care protocol developers. As a premier journal covering ICT in health care, we believe that the International Medical ICT Journal is the perfect platform from which to share our results with all those concerned with ICT use in cancer management.

Give the background to the research

What was done and what was found

Interest to journal’s readers

Cover letter to the editor

Editor’s name Manuscript title

Article type

Declarations on publication ethics Suggested reviewers Contact information

Customer Service Marketing your work Cover letter to the editor

This study is the first to demonstrate that the preoperative mGPS via a simple ICT tool is a useful prognostic factor for postoperative survival in cancer patients undergoing curative resection. This information is immediately clinically applicable for surgeons as well as hospital information and patient record systems and health care protocol developers. As a premier journal covering ICT in health care, we believe that the International Medical ICT Journal is the perfect platform from which to share our results with all those concerned with ICT use in cancer management.

Why interesting to the journal’s readership (para 4)

Target your journal – keywords from the Aims and Scope

Conclusion & importance

Relevance


Other important information:

Recommended reviewers Author’s contact information

We would like to recommend the following reviewers to evaluate our manuscript: 1. Reviewer 1 and contact information 2. Reviewer 2 and contact information 3. Reviewer 3 and contact information 4. Reviewer 4 and contact information Please address all correspondence to:

Reviewers

Contact information

Can also exclude reviewers


We confirm that this manuscript has not been published elsewhere and is not under consideration by another journal. All authors have approved the manuscript and agree with submission to the International Medical ICT Journal. This study was funded by the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare. The lead author is currently a consultant for the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare.

Must include:

Declarations related to publication ethics Source of funding Conflicts of interest

Ethics

Funding

Conflicts of interest

Customer Service Marketing your work The submission process

Accepted—publication!

Editor Author

Peer review

Reject

Results novel? Topic relevant? Clear English? Properly formatted?

Revision • New experiments • Improve readability • Add information

Activity 2


Developing your writing skills 1

Section 4

Coverage and Staffing Plan Writing skills Modern science writing

Keep it simple!

Use short sentences 15–20 words; one idea per sentence

Prefer simpler/shorter words

Use active voice Simpler, more direct, and easier to read

Most writing style guides and journals prefer it… “Nature journals prefer authors to write in the active voice”

(http://www.nature.com/authors/author_resources/how_write.html)

Coverage and Staffing Plan Writing skills

Journals prefer the active voice

“Use the active voice when it is less wordy and more direct than the passive”. (3rd ed., pg. 42)

“Use the active voice rather than the passive voice…”. www.apastyle.org/learn/faqs/effective-verb-use.aspx

“As a matter of style, passive voice is typically, but not always, inferior to active voice”. (15th ed., pg. 177)

“In general, authors should use the active voice…”. (10th ed., pg. 320)

ACS Style Guide

APA Style

Chicago Style Guide

AMA Manual of Style

“Nature journals prefer…the active voice…” (http://www.nature.com/authors/author_resources/how_write.html)

Nature

Coverage and Staffing Plan Writing skills Active voice

Sentences written in the active voice are:

simple direct clear easy to read

The mechanisms regulating substrate rigidity were investigated by us.

Passive

We investigated the mechanisms regulating substrate rigidity.

Active


Avoid reader confusion

Is this sentence in the active or passive voice?

In this study, a titanium dioxide nanoparticle electrode was synthesized using electrospray deposition for molecular sensing applications.



Is this sentence in the active or passive voice?

Passive voice




Tunn et al. developed electrospray methods to enhance sensitivity.3


Part of the Introduction






Who did the work in this study?

The author ? Tunn et al. ?





In this study, we synthesized a titanium dioxide nanoparticle electrode using electrospray deposition for molecular sensing applications.


Readers focus at the end of the sentence to determine what is important.

1. You deserve the funding, but the study design is not perfect.

Which sentence suggests that you

will get funding?

2. The study design is not perfect, but you deserve the funding.

Native English style


The study design is not perfect, but you deserve the

funding. The grant will be awarded in two stages.

Stress position

Topic position

The topic position introduces the idea of the current sentence

The stress position also introduces the topic of the next sentence (useful for explanations and processes)

Sentence and paragraph structure


The government of Tanzania has been striving to introduce Information and Communication Technology (ICT) in education. In teacher education, technology was introduced through the ICT-Connect-TED project. The program aimed at improving the quality of teachers through the use of ICT. ICT-Connect-TED provided computers and a networking infrastructure to all 34 teacher training colleges in Tanzania.

idea idea idea idea

Topic link

sentence

Source: Kafyulilo et al. Educ Inf Technol. 5 May 2015; DOI 10.1007/s10639-015-9398-0



One method of producing carbon fibre precursors, with the potential of commercial applicability, is electrospinning. It has previously been demonstrated that electrospinning can successfully produce precursor fibres that can be converted into high quality carbon fibres with controlled fibre diameters and morphologies. The majority of electrospun carbon fibre precursors reported in the literature are PAN-based. The high cost of PAN, depleting petroleum resources and the toxicity of its solvent, dimethylformamide, has motivated research to look into alternative electrospinnable materials to produce cheaper and more environmentally friendly carbon fibres. Because petroleum-based carbon resources exhibit negative environmental impacts and are of limited availability further motivates research towards green carbon fibres.

Recently, a wide range of renewable resource-based materials have been investigated for the fabrication of carbon materials. Among them, lignin has been looked at as a very promising candidate…

Schreiber et al. J Mater Sci. 2014; 49: 7949–7958.

Topic sentence

Stress sentence Topic sentence

Supporting sentences


Coverage and Staffing Plan Writing skills High readability

Your reader should…

Understand your logic immediately

Not have to read slowly

Only have to read once


Nature’s guide to authors:

Nature is an international journal covering all the sciences. Contributions should therefore be written clearly and simply so that they are accessible to readers in other disciplines and to readers for whom English is not their first language.

www.nature.com/nature/authors/gta/index.html#a4

“I should use complex words to make my writing more impressive.”


How can this sentence be improved?

• Too long (35 words)

• Two ideas in the same sentence

– First idea is split

Economists considered Apple Inc., a company that was founded by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak and incorporated in 1977 in Cupertino, California, to be one of the leaders in the development of modern electronic appliances.

Keep it short and simple


How can this sentence be improved?

Economists considered Apple Inc., a company that was founded by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak and incorporated in 1977 in Cupertino, California, to be one of the leaders in the development of modern electronic appliances.


• Too long (35 words)

• Two ideas in the same sentence

– First idea is split


Economists considered Apple Inc. to be one of the leaders in the development of modern electronic appliances. This company was founded by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak and incorporated in 1977 in Cupertino, California.


Two 17-word sentences

One idea per sentence

Please see Activity 3 in your Workbook

Activity 3

Developing your writing skills 2

Section 5


Write logical sentences!

Which of these are correct?

1. A is 4 times larger than B 2. A is 4-fold larger than B 3. A is 4 times as large as B

1. B is 4 times smaller than A

2. B is 75% smaller than A 3. B is 25% the size of A

A B

Avoid mistakes 1

Coverage and Staffing Plan Writing skills Avoid mistakes 2

Prefer Enough Clear Determine Begin Try Very Size Keep Enough End Use

Avoid complexity… Adequate Apparent Ascertain Commence Endeavor Exceedingly Magnitude* Retain Sufficient Terminate* Utilization *OK in certain fields (magnitude of earthquakes, to terminate gene expression)


“A number of studies have shown that the charged group...”

“...as described in our previous study.”

“...at a flow rate of 1.0 mL/min.”

“As a matter of fact, such a low-temperature reaction…”

“That is another reason why, we believe…”

“It is well known that most of the intense diffraction peaks...” “It is well known that Most of the intense diffraction peaks...”

“As a matter of fact, such a This low-temperature reaction…”

“A number of studies have shown that The charged group...”

“That is thus another reason why Therefore, we believe…”

“...as described previously in our previous study.”

“...at a flow rate of 1.0 mL/min.”

Avoid mistakes 2

Avoid complexity: delete extra words!


Avoid At a concentration of 2 g/L At a temperature of 37C In order to In the first place Four in number Green color Subsequent to Prior to Future plans; past history

Prefer At 2 g/L At 37C To First Four Green After Before Plans; history

Avoid mistakes 2


Estimate Estimation

Decide Decision

Assess Assessment

We made a/an… We conducted a/an… Extra verb

We decided… Clear, short, and direct

Avoid mistakes 3

Don’t hide verbs inside nouns!


A(n): refers to a non-specific noun (indefinite, first mention)

The: refers to a specific noun (definite, already known)

“A theory that describes economic development…” Suggests there is more than one theory

“The Big Bang theory…” Suggests there is only one theory

“A participant was chosen based on education level.

The participant was then given a questionnaire to determine…”

Avoid mistakes 4


Readers expect…

old/given/familiar information to appear first new information to appear last

An increasing number of people are relying on medical information on the Internet. Hence, governments could conduct public campaigns to promote healthy lifestyles via online media.

The Internet is being used as a source of medical information by an increasing number of people. Hence, online media campaigns could be used by governments to promote healthy lifestyles among the public. / Hence, the public could benefit greatly from government online campaigns to promote healthy lifestyles.

Avoid mistakes 5


Readers expect…

verbs to closely follow their subjects heavy ends (not starts) of clauses

Subject

The device leakage current on transistors fabricated on SiO2 with different self-assembled monolayers decreased by two orders of magnitude after annealing.

The transistors were fabricated on SiO2 with different self-assembled monolayers. The device leakage current decreased by two orders of magnitude after annealing.

Verb

Avoid mistakes 6


In this study, a titanium dioxide nanoparticle electrode for molecular sensing applications, having a high surface area and uniform porous structure, was synthesized by using electrospray deposition.

Readers become confused when the subject and verb are separated by too much content

Avoid mistakes 6


In this study, we used electrospray deposition to synthesize a titanium dioxide nanoparticle electrode for molecular sensing applications. The electrode had a high surface area and uniform porous structure.

Readers become confused when the subject and verb are separated by too much content

Active > Passive Subject-verb closeness Heavy end > heavy start Method – Purpose logic Given – New structures

Avoid mistakes 6


After considering all of the data runs after all of the computer sim tests, around 10% of all the virtual molecule designs were finally id’d.

Be accurate and concise!

After we analyzed the results from the computer simulations, 12% of the virtually designed molecules were identified. / After analyzing the results from the computer simulations, we identified 12% of the virtually designed molecules.

Avoid mistakes 7


Compared with is for saying how things are different

The accuracy of the new program was reduced

compared to the previous program.

The accuracy of the new program was reduced compared with that of the previous program.

The accuracy of the new program was lower than that of the previous program.

Avoid mistakes 8

Activity 4


Activity 5


S

Be an effective communicator

Your goal is not only to be published, but also to be widely read and cited



Developing your writing skills

Thank you!

Any questions?

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Trevor Lane: [email protected] Julian Tang: [email protected]

Education

20160126 Edanz Gunma