RevisionRe-seeing/ Re-writing

“In the first draft is the talent. In the second is the art.” —Paul Valery

Figuring out what you’ve created

Whether a piece of writing comes from a writing prompt or out-of-the-blue inspiration, the first draft should come in a burst—not from the critical side of your brain.Revision, on the other hand, is about looking at what’s happened when you wrote, and figuring it out.From there, revision becomes about consciously changing what is on the page.Use the critique to inform those decisions, not to dictate them.

Revision vs. futzingThe revision process should include checking word choice, sentence structure, grammar etc., but that is line editing, not revising.In other words, don’t give a car that needs a new engine a sparkly paint job (bad metaphor)Instead, start with the larger elements of non-fiction as points of revision

Elements of Non-FictionWe use the critique/workshop process to take a look at the largest aspects of non-fiction as they are playing out in your pieces: scene, character, voice, reflectionTake a look at the comments—are there any patterns in the responses? Do any of the issues raised coincide with concerns you had about the piece? Start where you think it needs work.

Areas for Review: SceneScene is not “scenery,” although a scene should include elements of scenery, such as place and descriptionScene = action in real timeScene vs. summary (exposition)Scene should occur when the event being described is key to the emotional and narrative arc of the story.

Scene vs. summaryThe fairy smiled. With a flick of her magic wand Cinderella found herself wearing the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. Now for your coach, said the fairy: "A real lady would never go to a ball on foot! Quick! Get me a pumpkin!. “Oh of course,” said Cinderella, rushing away.

One day, a fairy arrived and gave Cinderella a beautiful dress and a coach so she could go to the ball.

Scene vs. summaryAs with fiction (and fairy tales), Creative Nonfiction requires scenes—for the most part—for the portions of the story that make up the key events in the narrative arc.Scene is about recreating the emotional impact of the events in the story.Even if the story doesn’t follow a traditional chronological arc, it should still have key moments that create a sense of plot, crisis action and resolution.

Plot vs. storyStoryOnce upon a time, there was a king and a queen.First the king died.Then the queen died.

PlotOnce upon a time, there was a king and a queenFirst the king died.Then the queen died of heartache.

In other wordsPlot creates a framework that looks at causality in the story—it tells whyThis matters in nonfiction as much (if not more) than as fiction because it provides the “why”:Why does this story matter?What is at the heart of this story?Why does this story need to be told?What is this story really about?

Traditional Plot Structure

Aristotle basically came up with the triangle plot idea in 350 BC, which basically describes a beginning, middle and end to a story.Generally, this would follow a “chronological” narrative.Stories do not need to be told in chronological order, but regardless of the narrative structure, they need to have an emotional climax and some sort of conflict in need of resolution.

Narrative structureChronologicalFlashbackIn-media res (starts in the middle of the action)Thematic (various vignettes more linked by theme)Circular (circles back to a main event or idea)The “shape” or framework is only limited by the writer: you can choose any narrative structure you like—but there should be a sense of mounting tension and causality.

Plot

Plot is the literary element that describes the structure of a story. It shows arrangement of events and actions within a story.

Checkmark

ConflictThe danger is to assume that because the story you are telling is inherently conflicted (death, heartache, loss etc) that the piece will reflect that conflict.The piece will reflect the conflict if those key moments are rendered in scene so that the reader inhabits them as wellThis also means that the “crisis action”—the moment of reckoning—should be rendered in a scene as well.

VoiceWhen we evaluate voice in a piece, we are looking at a variety of factors:The author’s voice: the attitude expressed, the word choice, diction (to name a few)The voice of the characters in the story: how they speak, and what they say.Just as in real life, the voice of the people inhabiting a piece of nonfiction should be distinct“Point of view” is a part of voice (choosing which person, 1st, 2nd, 3rd) the story is being told from, but they are not one and the same.

The narrator’s voice is...SarcasticConfusedAcceptingAngryExuberantArrogantThat of a 5 year old

Word choiceContent of what is saidSyntax of sentencesThe way the narrator sees other people, places, objects How other people respond

Let’s do an exerciseTake a scene from your first draft (if it’s long, condense to about a paragraph for the purpose of this exercise)Set an “intention” regarding the voice of the piece (you don’t have to keep this or mean it; this is an experiment).For example: Decide that the voice is “angry”, and rewrite the scene with that intention.Now rewrite the scene again with an entirely different voice—as far away from the first intention as possible.Change the voice by changing the word choice, the rhythm of the sentences.Spend 10 minutes on each paragraph

Working with ThemeTheme in crafted non-fiction writing has similarities with fiction. It means that all the pieces—the narrator’s point of view, the metaphors, the setting, are helping to support that larger abstract idea. Over-do it, and you’re hitting the reader on the head. Ignore it, and you’re likely to end up with a piece that feels fragmented.Understanding your theme helps you create connections in the writing.Just ask yourself: What is my story about? Not what happens, but what is at stake?

The Revision ChecklistShow, don’t tell. Go through your manuscript and find the places where you’ve summarized—either dialogue or action. Are these important moments? Remember that important moments should be shown in scenes or with direct discussion.What is undeveloped? Are your people without faces? Have you worked to transform them from your memories to characters on the page? Are there scenes without locations? Even if you over-write to fill out, you can then pull it back.Revision means adding what’s missing and taking out what isn’t necessary. Kill your darlings!

Line editing tipsEliminate vague nouns and verbs:Everything from the “thing” family (something, everything, nothing, anything): find a concrete specific subject that captures what you meanVerbs from the “to be” family (is, was, will be, were). Forms of “to be” often indicate a passive sentence structure and vagueness to action.

Active VoiceOne of the greatest challenges most writers face is remembering to keep prose in active voice. This can be dealt with on revision, but it’s key to strong writing.In active voice, the subject performs the action:Julia operated the computer (active)The computer was operated by Julia (passive)

VarietyThe other “problem” with vague subjects and verbs is that writers often use them over and over again, creating a lack of vibrancy in the writing.Go through and circle each time you’ve used a form of “to be” and restructure the sentence to be more active and use a variety of verbs.

AdjectivesAdjectives are not the enemy, but when overused they detract from the goal of “showing” versus telling.A beautiful day may indeed be beautiful but it doesn’t show the reader the day in the same way that the orange sky and trees filled with lilac buds and silver-coated unicorn will (OK, OK, no unicorns in nonfiction, please)

Vary your syntaxRead a paragraph out loud. Are all the sentences the same length? Are they all short and clipped?Are the long sentences so long that you lose your breath and forget to make a point?Line editing means also looking for opportunities to vary the rhythm of your sentences, and to clean up any grammatical issues (run-ons, fragments.

Syntax ExerciseTo experiment, take a piece of writing from someone else—one paragraphRewrite one paragraph from your memoir imitating the exact sentence structure of each sentence in that paragraphNotice how changing the punctuation, the order of nouns and verbs, the length of sentences to imitate someone else’s writing changes the way your writing sounds (this is just to see the difference diction makes; don’t rewrite your whole piece imitating someone else’s sentence structure).If you’re really ambitious, use a sentence written by James Baldwin.

“The Fire Next Time”If we--and now I mean the relatively conscious whites and the relatively conscious blacks, who must, like lovers, insist on, or create, the consciousness of the others--do not falter in our duty now, we may be able, handful that we are, to end the racial nightmare, and achieve our country, and change the history of the world. —James Baldwin

More from the Revision Checklist

ALWAYS keep one copy of the original unrevised work in progress. You never know when you might want to change something back to the way it was.Try retyping sections where you are stuck.Read out loud. Tape record yourself reading out loud and listen to it. Ask a friend to read your work out loud.All of these are steps to try to help you “re-see” your work. Revision means literally re-envisioning your piece, not just trying to mend what is already there.

It’s the little thingsI have marked typos and grammatical errors. Be sure to review and correctIf you’re unclear on some basic grammar issues, this is an excellent time to review them. Don’t let grammar scare you. Everyone has little gaps in their understanding of writing rules. Face them now.Common grammar errors include: comma splices, verb tenses, pronoun/antecedent agreement.A good resource: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl

Your Memoir RevisionYour memoir revision is due in your final portfolio along with your original draftA legitimate revision may mean that you throw out most of what you wrote and start again, focusing in on one sceneIt may mean that you expand on what you haveBut the revision needs to contain a significant shift from the original piece.