Conflict Management in the Classroom

USING CONFLICT MANAGEMENTSOURCE: GUIDANCE APPROACH FOR THE ENCOURAGING CLASSROOM 4TH

ED.BY: DAN GARTRELL, ED.D.

LECTURER: MARY GRACE S. TERMULO, Ph.D.CONTACT: +639152570012; [email protected]

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Handouts will be given at the end of the session.

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FOR DISCUSSION:◦THE ESSENTIALS OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT◦DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS IN USING CONFLICT MANAGEMENT◦THE FIVE-FINGER FORMULA FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT◦TEACHING CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS◦FAMILY DIVERSITY

A. THE ESSENTIALS OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict Management

What is essential t o know about conflict management?

ConflictReal Life Learning

OpportunityDemocratic Life Skills

More Productive Learning

Environment

Teacher’s Task in the Encouraging Classroom

ILLUSTRATING THE TERMS

• SOCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING – the ability to manage potential and actual conflict in peaceable ways (e.g. Aisha’s reaction to Starre’s question)


ILLUSTRATING THE TERMS

• SOCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING – the ability to manage potential and actual conflict in peaceable ways (e.g. Aisha’s reaction to Starre’s question)

• MEDIATION – teaching verbal responsiveness in place of aggression and victimization

• IMPULSE CONTROL – a cluster of skills needed to so social problem solving

• Emotional Intelligence• Intra-personal intelligence• Interpersonal intelligence• Social competence• Democratic life skills

• CONFLICT RESOLUTION – positive response after a conflict has occurred


THE

PLAY

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LICTCLASSROOM ANECDOTE

Tracy and Matilda were busy with the yellow and blue play dough. Thomas came over to the table and asked for some.

Thomas grabbed some yellow play dough from Matilda. Matilda began to wail, Tracy tried to wrestle the play dough back from Thomas, who pushed at her with his free hand.


Matilda But you can’t have any ‘cause there isn’t any more.Thomas But you got some and you have to share.Tracy But not now ‘cause you too late.

THE

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Claire, the teacher, arrived and said, “I hear angry voices here. There is a problem we need too talk about. Tracy, please sit down. Thomas, please give me the play dough to hold or put it in front of you on the table.”Thomas put it down, but kept one hand on it.


THE

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LICT


TEACHER • CLAIRE

STUDENT 1

• MATILDA

STUDENT 2 • TRACY

STUDENT 3

• THOMAS

THE

PLAY

DOU

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CONF



Claire First, everyone take three deep breaths to cool down. Ready? One… Two… Three… That’s better. Now I need to hear from each of you what the problem is. Matilda, you first.

Matilda Thomas took my play dough when I didn’t give him any.

Claire How did that make you feel, Matilda?Matilda Sad, ‘cause he just took it.Claire Now its your turn, Tracy.Tracy He was too late ‘cause we were using it. He took

Matilda’s and I tried to get it back.Thomas I just wanted to play dough to make grass from the

ocean and sun.

THE

PLAY

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CONF



Claire What? “OK, Thomas, it is your turn.”Thomas If you mix the sun play dough and ocean play

dough, you get grass play dough.Claire You’re right, you do! Yellow and blue together make

green. Then what happened, Thomas?Thomas They wouldn’t give any so I took a little bit.Claire Well, there are three who all want to use play dough.

Is that right? (Kids nod.) How can we fix this problem so there is no fighting?

Matilda He can have the yellow, but no more.Tracy He could have some of my ocean play dough.

THE

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Claire Thanks, Tracy. Thomas, will that be enough play dough?

Thomas Well, a little more sun play dough. (Matilda tears off more and slaps it in front of Thomas.)

Claire I think we almost solved this problem, but is there something more you could say, Thomas?

Thomas Thanks, I won’t take no more.Claire Next time there is a problem what can you do so

there is no fighting?Tracy Talk about it.Matilda Get your teacher.

THE

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Claire watches as the three sit at the table, Thomas apart from the two. Before long they are talking together as all three make “grass.” Less space separates Thomas. They sit at the table till center time is over.


Claire Sharing is important, so if someone asks to share, try to talk about it. But if there is a problem, come get me. Fighting doesn’t help us get along, doesn’t it? No.

GUIDELINES FOR USING CONFLICT

MANAGEMENT

Guide1 The teacher calms down all parties

before starting.2 The teacher intervenes firmly, not as a

moral authority but as a democratic leader.

3 As mediator, the teacher shares power.4 The teacher supports the right of

personal expression and the skill of effective communication.

5 The teacher need not mediate perfectly for children to learn social problem solving skills.


B. DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS IN USING CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Using Conflict Management

How does understanding young children’s development assist in conflict management?

B. Developmental Considerations In Using Conflict Management

CHILDREN

CONFLICT

PROPERTY

TERRITORY

PRIVILEGE

How to Mediate

Acknowledge & Support Feelings

Define Problems in

Simple Terms

Reinforce: Two Sides to a Situation

See One’s Contribution to Problem

Suggest Their Own Solutions

Help Evaluate a Solution

Self Negotiation in the Future


PEACE PROPS

◦TALK-AND-LISTEN CHAIRS / PEACE TABLE

• Guidelines:• Respectful

words only• Explain,

don’t attack• Take turns

talking, etc.


PEACE PROPS

◦TALKING STICK




talking, etc.


PEACE PROPS

◦PEACE/POWER/PROBLEM PUPPETS




talking, etc.


MAIN POINTS

• Three most common source of conflict in young children

• The younger the child, the more likely the dispute is to be over property.

• Children can learn to see problems in a broader• Teaching children conflict management skills helps them to progress with an important lifelong skill.

How does understanding young children’s development assist in conflict management?


C. THE 5-FINGER FORMULA FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict Management

What is the five-finger formula for conflict management?


1. Cool down (all of you)

2. Discuss & agree what the problem is.

3. Brainstorm solutions

4. Agree on a solution & how it will work. Discuss what can be learned from the conflict.

5. Try it out, with adult monitoring and follow-up guidance as needed.

FIVE-FORMULA FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT


MED

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TEACHER

• JENNIFER

STUDENT 1 • AUSTIN

STUDENT 2 • DYLAN

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE: One morning two boys were arguing over some Lego wheels. Their faces were getting really intense and their voices were getting louder this is what happened when I tried to resolve the issue.

The boys said OK and come over.C. THE 5-FINGER FORMULA FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

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Dylan Hey, those are my wheels. You took my wheels (whining loudly).

Austin (Yells.) No, I had them first.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Jennifer Boys, I can see you are upset. Please come sit with me for a minute. I will hold the wheels just for now.Thank you. First, let’s all take a couple of deep breaths and then we will see what’s going on. Ready, 1… 2… 3… OK, now let’s talk about what happened. Dylan you can start and then we will ask Austin next.

Dylan He took my wheels that I was using yesterday and was gonna use today.

Jennifer OK, Austin now you tell me what happened.Austin He wasn’t here yet so I thought I could use the wheels.Jennifer It sounds to me like we are having trouble figuring out

who should get the wheels, huh?Boys Yeah.

1. Cool down

2. Discuss & agree what the problem is.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


MED

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Jennifer OK, let’s see if we can’t come up with a way that you will both get a chance with the wheels. Do either of you have an idea?

Dylan He should give them back to me.Jennifer Do you think that is a fair idea?Austin No, then when do I get to play with them?Jennifer Can you think of another idea, so you both will have a

chance to use the wheels?Dylan He can keep using them today and then tomorrow I will

get to use them.

3. Brainstorm solutions

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:

The boys go over and play together with the Legos. Austin uses the wheels. Dylan finds an older broken-down set but makes them work. There are not any more problems.


MED

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Jennifer Austin, what do you think of that idea?Austin OKJennifer Great, but next time something like this happens we

need to use our words and not get mad right away. Then if it is still a problem come and get me or another adult in the class. Does that sound OK to you?

Boys Yes.Jennifer OK, go play!

4. Agree on a solution & how it will work. Discuss what can be learned from the conflict.

5. Try it out, with adult monitoring and follow-up guidance as needed.

ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

1. COOL DOWN (ALL OF YOU)• Give focused acknowledgement of hurt

feelings• Separate for a “cooling down time” before

mediation• The adult must be present to assist the

calming process• It is a time to regain composure for the

purpose of talking the problem through


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

2. DISCUSS AND AGREE WHAT THE PROLEM IS• Avoid “loaded” language that find fault and

assign blame• Ask simple questions and assure each child

that he will have his turn• The teacher summarizes what the children

says


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

3. BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS ALL CAN LIVE WITH.• Since the adult “knows” the solution, he can

steer the children to the “right” solution• If the solution suggested is in the interest of

the children, ask – “Do you think the idea is fair?”


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

4. AGREE ON A SOLUTION AND HOW IT WILL WORK.• The adult should not suggest or impose a

solution• Allow the children to agree on the solution• When the teacher observes that the solution

was followed and became successful, encourage the children to come to a solution on their own in the future


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

5. TRY IT OUT, WITH THE ADULT’S MONITORING AND GUIDANCE IF NEEDED.• Young children usually comply with the

agreement and end up playing together.



TWO POTHOLES TO AVOID

Blaming the children for the conflict, rather than to focus on the mediating.

Determining the resolution for the children.

MAIN POINTS

• Be a model• Provide specific steps in high-emotion situations• The five-finger formula includes the essential steps addressed by many models.

• Avoid the two potholes in using the formula What is the five-finger formula for conflict management?


D. TEACHING CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Conflict Management

How does the adult teach conflict management skills to children?

High-Level Mediation

Low-Level Mediation

Child Negotiation

GOAL OF SOCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:

At the child care center on April 1. I had just finished reading a book to Ana. She had set it aside to hear me read another book to some more students. Charlie came up and took the book from the table that Ana and I had just finished.


HIGH

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MED

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HIGH

-LEV

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TEACHER • ZOE

STUDENT 1 • ANA

STUDENT 2

• CHARLIE

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


HIGH

-LEV

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ON

Ana Charlie, NO! Give me that back. (Ana takes the book from Charlie’s hand.)

Charlie (Screaming and crying) I wanted to look at that!Zoe Hey, girls, I think we need to work this out, but first we

need to cool down a bit. (Taking both girls on either side of me, with my arms around both of them.) Can you each take three big breaths? (Ana shakes her head and turns back to me.) Okay, Ana, you can cool down on your own however you want. (Charlie and I count out three big breaths.) Are you ready to talk yet, Ana?

Ana Yes. (She turns back toward us.)

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


HIGH

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Zoe Ana, what happened?Ana I was reading that book and…Charlie You were not. I got it from the table.Zoe Charlie, you will have your turn too, but right now we are

listening to Ana.Ana Yeah, so I was reading the book and Charlie came over

and took it from me.Zoe OK, are you done now?Ana Yes.Zoe Charlie, what do you think happened?Charlie Ana was done with the book. I was going to read it.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


HIGH

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Zoe So Ana thought she was still using the book, and Charlie thought she was done. Is that right? (Both girls nod.) How do you think we can solve this problem?

Charlie Maybe Ana can just give me the book.Zoe Would that work for both of you?Ana No, I am not done with it yet. Let me read it one more

time. Zoe One more time and then you will give it to Charlie?

Charlie, what do you think of that?Charlie OK.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


HIGH

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Zoe Thank you, Charlie. I like how you both solved the problem together. (Charlie got up to play with other toys and Ana returned to my lap with the book.) Ana, you made me sad when you took the book away from Charlie like that. What else could you have done instead of pulling and pushing?

Ana Asked her for it?Zoe I think that sounds like a good idea. How could you have

asked?Ana Charlie, I am not done yet. Give it back to me now!Zoe Could you add a friendly word on the end?Ana (Grins.) Please.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


HIGH

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Zoe You got it! (I got up to check on another group and I saw Ana look at the book cover and then get up and give it to Charlie.)

Ana Here.Charlie Thanks. (Ana then went to a different center and

continued playing.)


Low-Level Mediation

Child Negotiation



Low-Level Mediation

Child Negotiation


MAIN POINTS

• Modelling and encouragement• A “developmental timetable” does not exist• With guidance four-year-olds negotiate many conflicts themselves

• Without guidance many eight-year-olds do not. How does the adult teach conflict management skills to children?


E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

Conflict Management

What do teachers need to understand about two trends in family diversity?

FATHER AS CAREGIVER

FAMILIES

E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

GRAND-PARENTS RAISING GRAND-

CHILDREN

E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

MAIN POINTS

• Provide fathers with useful information and resources for parenting education

• Assist grandparents• Respect whatever family structure

What do teachers need to understand about two trends in family diversity?

E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

USING CONFLICT MANAGEMENTSOURCE: GUIDANCE APPROACH FOR THE ENCOURAGING CLASSROOM 4TH

ED.BY: DAN GARTRELL, ED.D.

LECTURER: MARY GRACE S. TERMULO, Ph.D.CONTACT: +639175637794; [email protected]

GOD BLESS!

Education

Conflict Management in the Classroom