God Is Not Our Parents!!Leaving a godly legacy for your children should be the goal of all Christian parenting.  Although the faith and godliness of your children is ultimately the work of the Holy Spirit, God often uses the influence of parents to make a great impact on their children.!!A great example of this is Jonathan Edwards, the Puritan Preacher from the 1700s.  Jonathan and his wife Sarah left a great godly legacy for his 11 children.!!At the turn of the 20th century, American educator and pastor A.E. Winship decided to trace out the descendants of Jonathan Edwards almost 150 years after his death.  His findings are astounding, especially when compared to a man known as Max Jukes.  Jukes’ legacy came to the forefront when the family trees of 42 different men in the New York prison system traced back to him.!!Jonathan Edwards’ godly legacy includes: 1 U.S. Vice-President, 3 U.S. Senators, 3 governors, 3 mayors, 13 college presidents, 30 judges, 65 professors, 80 public office holders, 100 lawyers and 100 missionaries.!!Max Jukes’ descendants included: 7 murderers, 60 thieves, 50 women of debauchery, 130 other convicts. 310 paupers (with over 2,300 years lived in poorhouses) 400 who were physically wrecked by indulgent living.!It was estimated that Max Juke’s descendants cost the state more than $1,250,000.!!This is a powerful example showing how a parent’s leadership can have a profound effect on their children.!!How Do Parent’s Influence their Children?"!Inherited Traits"We inherit a lot from our parents (besides their money): Many of our physical strengths and weaknesses, emotional temperaments and even spiritual traits come from our parents and ancestors. I call it our spiritual inheritance. !

God Is Not Our Parents!We tend to be spiritually strong or weak in areas our parents were strong or weak. That’s why it is good to talk to your children about your areas of greatest temptation and who you overcame them. It’s likely your children will also be tested by the enemy in those same areas. We tend to sin in the same ways our ancestors sinned, that’s why sin types runs in families: David—sexual sin. (Judah & Tamar & Rehab) Abraham—telling lies ( Jacob, his 10 sons vs. Joseph).!!In my family, we have historically been tempted to sin through beliefs that we are rejected, abandoned, not safe emotionally or physically, unforgiveness, abuse of alcohol, hypochondria, overly -self-sufficiency, addictive behavior, workaholism, mistrust of men and sexual sins. !!Even early Virginia settlers knew of these intergenerational connections:

Individuals in Virginia were stereotyped by traits that were thought to be hereditary in their extended families. Anglican Clergyman Jonathon Boucher (1738-1804) believed that 'family character, both of body and mind, may be traced thro’ many generations; as for instance, every Fitzhugh has bad eyes; every Thorton hears badly; Winslow’s and Lees talk well; Carters are proud and imperious; and Taliaferro's mean and avaricious; and Fowkeses cruel.’ Virginians often pronounced these judgments on one another. The result was a set of family

reputations which then acquired the social status of self-fulfilling prophecies.26

Note that character traits were passed down as well as physical traits. ( p. 27. Healing America’s DNA)

!Inherited Family Traits Are Greatly Influenced One of Two Kingdoms:

Satan’s of God’s Who Vie for the Allegiance of All Families

Satan’s Kingdom God’s Kingdom

No love, no peace, no joy: masked hatered God is love and His Spirit produces all three

Value based on performance. Harsh & critical Value based on God’s choice to love & bless

He pursues to use, abuse and lose Pursues to love, save, heal and glorify forever

Satan’s Kingdom

God Is Not Our Parents

When our ancestors are somehow influenced by the Kingdom of Darkness, the parents in those families are somewhat hindered from modeling biblical character and values to their children. Such children often have trouble believing that the God of the Bible is as good as the Bible says He is.

Someone wise has said that children learn more about God from the example of their parents than the kids learn in SS classes.

This is a critical issue I want to address today:

For better or worse, our parents shape our concepts and beliefs about God more than we realize.

Graham Cooke, as well-known minister with a strong prophetic gift, said a powerful truth on a video I watched recently on Youtube: “The most important thoughts you will ever think will be about Who God is.

!All Authorities are Imperfect"If we're honest almost every person and authority figure operates a mixture of good and evil values, good and evil thoughts and actions almost a daily basis. This includes parents!!Take Martin Luther: Brave leader of the Protestant Reformation and gifted theologian. Yet, he was in later life deeply anti-semitic. Because his views was never publicly rejected by the Lutheran Church for within the Lutheran Church in his native Germany, Adolf Hitler was able to claim Luther’s approval for his evil campaign against the Jews in WWII. !!Therefore we shouldn't be surprised that even the best of parents modeled the character of God to us in imperfect ways. They probably did the best they could with what they had. Critical parents probably were

Controls by fear & lies, accusation, guilt Leads and woos by kindness, truth and blessings

Sends demons to torment & trick Send angels to serve and protect

God’s KingdomSatan’s Kingdom

God Is Not Our Parentsraised by critical parents. Passive, disengaged parents probably were not given much quality time as children by their parents, etc. !!In my own life, my grandparents represented many good values. They took care of me and my brother while my dad was deployed around the world after they break up of our family in a divorce. However, I felt that I had to earn love from my grandparents. !!It was not given freely just because I was their grandchild. And I grew to believe that no mater how hard I tried, I could never really please them. !!For years, I felt a fear that God would not like me or bless me as much if I did not perform adequately for Him. I knew He loved me, but I also believed His loves was greatly dependent on how well I obeyed Him—-and I was never sure if I was being good enough to be pleasing to Him. So, I worked extra hard to please Him—just like I did with my grandparents. Without meaning to, my grandparents taught me to relate to God like that.!!Many years ago, God taught me that He loved me even when I was bad. It was a great healing to me. It set me free to love Him, others and myself more than i ever thought possible. I want all of you to have that same freedom to know God loves you wildly even when you are not perfect! "!Recently, I helped a friend of mine deal with similar misconceptions of God. One parent was overly harsh and critical of him all his life. That parent loved God a lot but was raised in a very critical, demanding household. !!He did not feel safe with that parent’s love. Consequently he did not feel safe with God's love. He loved God with all of his heart but never felt fully safe with him because he never felt emotionally safe with that parent. !!He was always “waiting for the other shoe to drop” so to speak and to be criticized harshly for minor perceived infractions of the rules.!!My friend loves God with all his heart, but he ended up believing that God was just like that parent. "!!

God Is Not Our ParentsHe was so hurt by the harsh treatment of his parent, that he struggled with anger towards that parent for decades. !!Worse, he also began to be angry at God because he thought God was just like his parent: judgmental, harsh and never satisfied with him.!!So recently we prayed about all this and I let him in a series of prayers renouncing the power and connection of those ungodly parental words and actions over him. !!He also apologized to God for judging God to be a harsh, critical God—like that parent. !!The result was a remarkable breakthrough in this person's life. He felt free more peace and more ability to believe what the Bible says about God's tender affection for him as a son. !!For the first time, he began to feel emotionally safe with God's love and to believe that God's love for him is not primarily based on his performance but on God's gracious choice of him even before the world was made—as Eph 1:4-5 declares.!!Over the years, I have come across many people who cannot accept that God really likes them or that they are good enough for God or that they can trust God all the time. They have doubts that God is as good as the Bible says because their parents could not model God’s love and discipline to them well. !!Adults who cannot get close to Father God are in bondage to the pain they experienced from their own dad’s. It’s epidemic and it’s very damaging.!!About 90% of the men in US prisons claim not to have had a good relationship with their fathers. Therefore, they have a heard time believing that God the Father could love, save, protect and provide for them as He promises to do. They cannot trust God’s love because they could not trust their father’s love. !!

God Is Not Our ParentsGod wants to set people free today from the misconceptions we have about Him that we got from our parents. !!He is ready to set us free if we are willing to be set free. Jesus came to set the captives free with the truth of how much we are loved by the Father! !!Do you wonder why you do not feel closer to God? Why you cannot get experience more of His joy and peace and pleasure? It could be that you are mistaking God for your parents. !!Here’s a list of lies you may have grown to believe about yourself from your childhood:"Not good enough, fears—never safe, rejected, unwanted, abandoned, alone, hopeless, helpless, guilty, shamed, tainted, invalidated, confused!!Pray now but may need to pray with Beth and I later. Call us. Love to help. !!