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Miscommunication Between Men and Women
A Presentation by Group 3
Michayla Dabney
John W Epps
IntroductionIn this presentation we will talk about the miscommunication between men and woman.
There are many reasons why men and woman have trouble communicating including "Genderlect", "Report Talk" vs "Rapport Talk“.Also "Do Men and Women Speak the Same Language?“
Throughout this presentation we will discuss and provide insight on these points to give a understanding of how they effect the miscommunication between men and women.
Genderlect “A variety of a language that is tied not to geography or to family background or to a role but to the speakers sexual gender". When does gender communication develop? Communication is considered learned behavior and develops through a combination of nature and nurture. Gender communication difference emerge in early childhood. Children learn to talk from their peers and parents- and will also imitate their same- sex models.
As stated on the website:
"These gender differences in ways of talking have been observed in children as young as three years of age, about the time language is developed. While little girls talk to be liked; little boys often talk to boast. Little girls make requests; little boys make demands. Little girls speak to create harmony; little boys prolong conflict. Little girls talk more indirectly; little boys talk directly. Little girls talk more with words; little boys use more actions. While boys and girls both want to get their way, they use language differently to do so.“
Michayla DabneyCommunication between Men and Women | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. (n.d.). Retrieved May 29, 2015, from http://cbmw.org/uncategorized/communication-between-men-and-women/
Report Talk vs Rapport TalkDeborah Tannen author of You Just Don’t Understand believes that men and woman differ in their focus and driving force behind their communication. According to Tannen men communicate with a focus on achieving social status and avoiding failure. Woman focus on achieving a personal connection and avoiding social isolation.
Also according to Tannen men want to report talk and woman want to rapport talk.
John Epps
Report Talk vs. Rapport Talk
Rapport Talk- connection that's established with the people you come in contact with. The reason why we feel comfortable & trust some. Way to understand a person's unconscious mind. Woman use conversation to make connections and establish intimacy (rapport talk). Conversation is more cooperative than competitive- although sometimes that's masked. More emotional. Woman show more concern and empathy.
Report Talk- Conversation as means of establishing status and power. Way to achieve higher status in the conversation. Less emotional. Men take a straight- forward approach to problem solving.
Michayla Dabney
Communication between Men and Women | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. (n.d.). Retrieved May 29, 2015, from http://cbmw.org/uncategorized/communication-between-men-and-women/
Report Talk vs Rapport Talk
“Who talks more, then, women or men? The seemingly contradictory evidence is reconciled by the difference between what I call public and private speaking. More men feel comfortable doing "public speaking," while more women feel comfortable doing "private" speaking. Another way of capturing these differences is by using the terms report-talk and rapport-talk. For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships. Emphasis is placed on displaying similarities and matching experiences. From childhood, girls criticize peers who try to stand out or appear better than others. People feel their closest connections at home, or in settings where they feel at home--with one or a few people they feel close to and comfortable with--in other words, during private speaking. But even the most public situations can be approached like private speaking. For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order. This is done by exhibiting knowledge and skill, and by holding center stage through verbal performance such as storytelling, joking, or imparting information. From childhood, men learn to use talking as a way to get and keep attention. So they are more comfortable speaking in larger groups made up of people they know less well--in the broadest sense, “public speaking." But even the most private situations can be approached like public speaking, more like giving a report than establishing rapport.” (Tannen, 1990)
John EppsTannen, D. (1991). "Put down that paper and talk to me" In You just don't understand: Women and men in conversation (Hardcover ed., Vol. 1, p. 330). New York: Ballantine Books.
Do Men and Woman speak the same language?Miscommunication between males and females. It is a problem that has been going on since the beginning of mankind. You have heard this before , Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (a best seller by John Gray) ,it is all in our minds, he just does not listen, she complains way too much and so on. There is actually scientific evidence that proves men and woman just don’t speak the same language.
John Epps
Our body language and the way we speak to each other is sometimes drastic. While communicating women seek commonalities while men are more competitive. These differences result in miscommunication. “At its most basic, what I am calling "the myth of Mars and Venus" is simply the proposition that men and women differ fundamentally in the way they use language to communicate. All versions of the myth share this basic premise; most versions, in addition, make some or all of the following claims:
1 Language and communication matter more to women than to men; women talk more than men.
2 Women are more verbally skilled than men.
3 Men's goals in using language tend to be about getting things done, whereas women's tend to be about making connections to other people. Men talk more about things and facts, whereas women talk more about people, relationships and feelings.
4 Men's way of using language is competitive, reflecting their general interest in acquiring and maintaining status; women's use of language is cooperative, reflecting their preference for equality and harmony.
5 These differences routinely lead to "miscommunication" between the sexes, with each sex misinterpreting the other's intentions. This causes problems in contexts where men and women regularly interact, and especially in heterosexual relationships." (Deborah Cameron 2007)
John Epps Cameron, D. (2007, October 1). What language barrier? Retrieved June 1, 2015, from http://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/oct/01/gender.books
In Conclusion
In conclusion, there are many reasons why men and woman have problems communicating. In our presentation we discussed "Genderlect" which is "a variety of language that is tied not to geography or to a family background or to a role but to the speakers sexual gender". There is also "Report Talk" vs "Rapport Talk". Report Talk (most common to men) is a less emotional, straight forward way of communicating. Rapport Talk (most common to woman) is a more emotional, trying to establish more of a connection with someone way to communicate. Men and woman have different body language, as well. These are all factors as to why men and woman are said to speak different languages which ultimately causes miscommunication between men and women.
Some questions for you 1) What are other reasons as to why men and woman
have trouble communicating?
2) What are some times in your life where miscommunicating with the opposite gender got you in trouble?
3)What are your thoughts on "Genderlect" or "Rapport Talk vs. Report Talk"? Why?
ReferencesCameron, D. (2007, October 1). What language barrier? Retrieved June 1, 2015, from http://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/oct/01/gender.books
Communication between Men and Women | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. (n.d.). Retrieved May 29, 2015, from http://cbmw.org/uncategorized/communication-between-men-and-women/
Communication between Men and Women | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. (n.d.). Retrieved May 29, 2015, from http://cbmw.org/uncategorized/communication-between-men-and-women/
Tannen, D. (1991). "Put down that paper and talk to me" In You just don't understand: Women and men in conversation (Hardcover ed., Vol. 1, p. 330). New York: Ballantine Books.
