Copy editing III: StructureReview interview assignments: Top bloopers

Diagnosing weak stories: confusion, incoherence and weak constitution

Story modeling and planning

In-class assignment: Save an incoherent story

Story symptoms

Unclear, unsupported or buried lead

Poorly used quotes

Straying from story topic

Poor explanation

Lack of transitions

Illogical order

Wordiness/jargon

Case studies

Forensic hospital story – confusing lead

Berry farm story – buried lead and visuals

Corn story – overuse of quotes, lack of explanation, etc.

Neighbourhood watch story – lack of transition

Prevention

Go over notes and quotes. Write an outline:

Rank new information by order of importance

Add in supportive information (specific details, quotes)

Weave in background

Add perspective

Flaherty outline

Lead: Flaherty makes statement, gets criticized

Sentence 2: Follow up on the statement and criticism

Expansion on Manley’s argument, with specifics, quotes

Context of Flaherty’s comments and background on the debate.

Expansion on Flaherty’s points, with specifics, quotes

KPMG study – relevant related news

Post-meeting follow-up from Manley, Flaherty

Perspective/look ahead to future of business

Accident story

Lead: Summarizes what witness saw

Follow-up: Witness’s statement zeroes in on community issue.

Description of accident

Background: victim’s identity, health status, police details

More witnesses/anecdotes on crosswalk

Councillor: What is being done?

Final quote brings it back to current victim. Too little too late.