INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Same Picture – Different Perspectives

Different perspectives Different attitudes

Need to have EFFECTIVE

INTERPERSONAL

COMMUNICATION

SKILLS to understand and accept differing

attitudes and each other!

BRAINSTORM!What is INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION???

Definition

• A complex process that can be described in simplified terms by a Sender and a Receiver who exchange messages containing ideas and feelings, mixed together.

The Sender • The Sender encodes the messages

using Verbal, Vocal and Visual elements.

• The words form the Verbal element.• The Vocal element includes the tone

and intensity of our voice.• The Visual element incorporates

everything the Receiver can see. The Visual, non-verbal element is the most powerful element, grabbing and holding Receiver’s attention.

The Receiver

• The Receiver takes in the messages and decode them by sorting out and interpreting the elements according to their own experiences, beliefs and needs.

Why do we need it?

• We communicate in order to:• Get acquainted• Express emotions to others• Share information• Persuade others to understand our personal views• Build relationships

WE ARE ABLE TO SEND MESSAGES FROM THE MOON, BUT WE FIND IT DIFFICULT TO RELATE TO THOSE WELOVE.

COMMUNICATION ROADBLOCKS

For the Sender….

• Different meaning of the words• Hiding thoughts and feelings

Behaviour

ThoughtsFeelings

For the Receiver…

• Hearing through own filters.• Attention filters keeps us from being overwhelmed by excess sounds

and information.• Emotional filters that block or distort our understanding.• Our expectations of others that distort our behaviour.• Easily distracted

- people can think much faster than they can talk (avg rate for speech is 125-150/min. The ear and brain can process about four times more and faster).

Reactions that block communication

• Judging the other person (criticising, name calling, diagnosing)

• Sending Solutions (ordering, threatening, moralising, advising)

• Avoiding the other’s concerns (diverting, logical argument)

How to overcome roadblocks

• LISTENING!!!• 70% of our waking time is spent in

communication (9% writing, 16% reading, 30% talking and 45% listening)

• Active listening – way of listening and responding that improves mutual understanding.

Five levels of active listening

• Basic acknowledgement: includes verbal and visual signs that let the speaker know we are listening with interest and respect.

• Attentive Silence: Keeping silent to find out more information from the speaker. During this time, observe, imagine and decide what is the best answer.

• Questions: asking in order to show the speaker interest in what is being said and their point of view. Open-ended are preferable.

• Paraphrasing: focuses on the content and clarifies correct understanding.

• Mirroring feelings: reflecting back to the speaker the emotions he/she is communicating.

ROLE PLAY TIME!

PARALANGUAGE (the VOCAL)

• Language communicates not only by what is said but also by how it is said.

• Paralanguage refers to all the non-linguistic accompaniments of speech - volume, stress, pitch, speed, tone of voice, pauses, throat clearing, grunts and sighs (Knapp, 1978; Trager, 1958).

• Timing, pitch and loudness (Argyle, 1975) are particularly important, as they can dramatically change the meaning of utterances: a rising intonation at the end of a statement transforms it into a question or communicates uncertainty, doubt or need for approval (Lakoff, 1973).

• Low pitch = sadness or boredom, while high pitch = anger, fear or surprise (Frick, 1985).

• Fast speech often communicates power and control (Ng & Bradac, 1993).

NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Communication without words

• Do you:• Use gestures on the phone?• Misunderstood/been misunderstood by the

meaning of a text?

Functions of non-verbal communication

• Collect information about feelings and intentions of others

• Regulate interactions • Express intimacy• Establish dominance or control

Type of non-verbal communication• 1) Facial Cues• The human facial expressions associated with basic

emotions appear to be relatively universal.• Ekman and his colleagues (1971) showed people a

series of photographs of faces expressing the six basic emotions (happiness, surprise, sadness, fear, disgust and anger) and had them report the emotions being expressed

• People from a variety of Western cultures (Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Germany, Greece, Italy, Scotland, the United States), Asian cultures (Hong Kong, Japan, Sumatra, Turkey) and tribal cultures (Borneo, New Guinea) were remarkably accurate in identifying the six emotions from facial expression by people from both the same and different cultures

Kinesics

• The study of the role of gestures and other body movements in non-verbal communication.

• Birdwhistell (1970) identified up to seventy basic units of body movement (e.g. flared nostrils) and described rules of combination that produce meaningful units of body communication (e.g. the combination of a shoulder shrug, raised eyebrows and upturned palms).

• There are gender differences: research by Schubert (2004) indicates that men are more likely than women to raise a clenched fist as a symbol of pride or power.

Kinesics

• Gestures are often classified as:• 1) Emblems• 2) Illustrators• 3) Adaptors• 4) Regulators

Emblems

• Gestures that substitute for words

Cross Cultural differences

Illustrators

• Gestures that accompany speech and depict what is being said

Adaptors

• Gestures that help one to cope with emotional reactions

Regulators

• Gestures that accompany speech and help to coordinate turn-taking

Touching

• Social touch is perhaps the earliest form of communication we learn.

• From an analysis of 1,500 bodily contacts between people, Jones and Yarbrough (1985) identified five discrete categories of touch:

Five categories of touch

• Positive affect - to communicate appreciation, affection, reassurance, nurturance or sexual interest.

• Playful - to communicate humour and playfulness. • Control - to draw attention or induce compliance. • Ritualistic - to satisfy ritualised requirements (e.g. greetings and

departures). • Task-related - to accomplish tasks (e.g. a nurse taking one's pulse, or

a violin teacher positioning a student's hand).

» Negative affect (gently pushing an annoying hand away) and aggressive touches (slaps, kicks, shoves, punches) were added by Burgoon, Buller & Woodall (1989).

PROXEMICS

• Study of interpersonal distance.• The closer two people are, the greater the number

of non-verbal cues that can be detected • We use interpersonal distance to regulate privacy

and intimacy: the greater the distance, the more private you can be.

Four Zones of space in social interaction: how close is comfortable?

• Anthropologist Edward Hall (1966) identified four interpersonal distance zones:

• Intimate distance• Personal distance• Social distance• Public distance

Intimate distance

• Up to 0.5m• Physical contact can take place. • Cues come from sight, sound, smell, body

temperature, and depth and pace of breathing.

Personal Distance

• 0.5-1.25m• Transitional area between intimate and formal• The norm in Western countries for everyday interactions with

friends and acquaintances.• Touching is still possible.• Many cues are still available but effects of body temperature, smell

and breathing are greatly reduced

Social Distance

• 1.25-4m• Typical for both casual and business

interactions.• Many cues are lost, but verbal contact is easily

maintained.• Furniture arrangement helps to achieve this –

a bigger desk can signal rank.

Public Distance

• 4-8m• Communication cues now lose some impact.• Common distance for public speakers, celebrities and lecturers.• Lecterns are usually placed about 3.5m back from the first row

of seats.• Courtrooms use this space to prevent easy exchanges with the

judge.

Intimacy-equilibrium theory

• Predicts that when intimacy signals are increased in one modality, they are decreased in other modalities (e.g. eye contact with approaching stranger).

• Scenario: crowded lift.• According to intimacy-equilibrium theory, we reduce

intimacy cues by staring at the numbers for each floor level.

Research

• Middlemist, Knowles and Mutter (1976) – The urinal test demonstrates how people are often stressed when their personal space is invaded.

• Can differ across age, gender and cultures.E.g. Aiello and Jones (1971) found African Americans and working class children tend to stand closer than White or non-working class children. Argyle & Dean (1965) found people in Southern Europe, the Middle East and Latin America stand closer and some tribal communities in Africa and Indonesia often touch while talking.