Sentence Style

Sentence StyleSentence Style““Let us guess that whenever we read a Let us guess that whenever we read a

sentence and like it, we unconsciously store sentence and like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; and it goes, it away in our model-chamber; and it goes,

with the myriad of its fellows, to the with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual building, brick by brick, of the eventual

edifice which we call our style.”edifice which we call our style.”-- Mark Twain-- Mark Twain

Why is sentence style important?Why is sentence style important?

Good prose must be lively, engaging, and Good prose must be lively, engaging, and interesting. Sentences full of vague words interesting. Sentences full of vague words produce blurry, boring prose and drowsy produce blurry, boring prose and drowsy readers. Bored readers are not born but readers. Bored readers are not born but made.made.

Fuzzy sentences are often the result of fuzzy Fuzzy sentences are often the result of fuzzy thinking. Ask yourself, “Are my sentences thinking. Ask yourself, “Are my sentences vague or confusing because I’m really not vague or confusing because I’m really not sure what my point is or where it’s going?”sure what my point is or where it’s going?”

Each of your sentences should give readers Each of your sentences should give readers enough clear details for them to “see” the enough clear details for them to “see” the picture you are creating.picture you are creating.

ParallelismParallelism

Repeated sentence elements such as Repeated sentence elements such as verbs, nouns, pronouns, and phrases, verbs, nouns, pronouns, and phrases, often appear in parallel form to emphasize often appear in parallel form to emphasize meaning and to promote sentence fluency.meaning and to promote sentence fluency. Faulty ParallelismFaulty Parallelism: Boa constrictors like : Boa constrictors like to to

lielie in the sun, in the sun, to hangto hang from limbs, and from limbs, and swallowingswallowing small animals. small animals.

RevisedRevised: Boa constrictors like : Boa constrictors like to lieto lie in the in the sun, sun, to hangto hang from limbs, and from limbs, and to swallowto swallow small small animals.animals.

ParallelismParallelism Balance parallel ideas in a series.Balance parallel ideas in a series. Balance parallel ideas presented as Balance parallel ideas presented as

pairs.pairs. Repeat function words to clarify Repeat function words to clarify

parallels.parallels. Faulty ParallelismFaulty Parallelism: My Aunt Clara : My Aunt Clara

swears she has seen Elvis snacking at swears she has seen Elvis snacking at the deli, browsing at the supermarket, the deli, browsing at the supermarket, munching at the pizza parlor, and in munching at the pizza parlor, and in the cookbook section of a local the cookbook section of a local bookstore.bookstore.

How would you revise this sentence?How would you revise this sentence?

Needed WordsNeeded Words

Add words needed to complete Add words needed to complete compound structures.compound structures. IncorrectIncorrect: Mayor Davis never has and : Mayor Davis never has and

never will accept a bribe from anyone.never will accept a bribe from anyone. CorrectCorrect: Mayor Davis never has : Mayor Davis never has

acceptedaccepted and never will accept a bribe and never will accept a bribe from anyone.from anyone.


Add the word Add the word thatthat if there is any if there is any danger of misreading without it.danger of misreading without it.

ConfusingConfusing: Looking out the family : Looking out the family room window, Sarah saw her room window, Sarah saw her favorite tree, which she had climbed favorite tree, which she had climbed so often as a child, was gone.so often as a child, was gone.

RevisedRevised: Looking out the family : Looking out the family room window, Sarah saw room window, Sarah saw thatthat her her favorite tree, which she had climbed favorite tree, which she had climbed so often as a child, was gone.so often as a child, was gone.


Add words needed to make Add words needed to make comparisons logical and complete.comparisons logical and complete. ConfusingConfusing: The forests of North : The forests of North

America are much more extensive than America are much more extensive than Europe.Europe.

RevisedRevised: The forests of North America : The forests of North America are much more extensive than are much more extensive than those ofthose of Europe.Europe.


Add the articles Add the articles aa, , anan, and , and thethe where necessary for grammatical where necessary for grammatical completeness.completeness. Confusing: Confusing: Blood can be drawn only by Blood can be drawn only by

doctor or by authorized person who has doctor or by authorized person who has been trained in procedure.been trained in procedure.

Revised: Revised: Blood can be drawn only by Blood can be drawn only by aa doctor or by doctor or by anan authorized person who authorized person who has been trained in has been trained in thethe procedure. procedure.

Problems with ModifiersProblems with Modifiers A modifying—or descriptive—phrase must A modifying—or descriptive—phrase must

have a logical relationship to some specific have a logical relationship to some specific words in the sentence. words in the sentence.

When those words are omitted, the phrase When those words are omitted, the phrase ““danglesdangles” without anything to modify. ” without anything to modify. Dangling modifiersDangling modifiers frequently occur at frequently occur at the beginnings of sentences and often can the beginnings of sentences and often can be corrected by adding the proper be corrected by adding the proper subjects to the main clauses.subjects to the main clauses.

Misplaced ModifiersMisplaced Modifiers occur when occur when modifying words, phrases, or clauses are modifying words, phrases, or clauses are not placed near the word they describe. not placed near the word they describe. This often results in confusion or This often results in confusion or unintentional humor.unintentional humor.

Problems with ModifiersProblems with Modifiers

Dangling ModifierDangling Modifier: Not knowing : Not knowing how to swim, buying scuba gear was how to swim, buying scuba gear was foolish.foolish.

RevisedRevised: Not knowing how to swim, : Not knowing how to swim, Jack and JillJack and Jill decided that buying decided that buying scuba gear was foolish.scuba gear was foolish.

Problems with ModifiersProblems with Modifiers

Misplaced ModifierMisplaced Modifier: Teddy swatted : Teddy swatted the fly still dressed in his pajamas.the fly still dressed in his pajamas.

RevisedRevised: Teddy, still dressed in his : Teddy, still dressed in his pajamas, swatted the fly.pajamas, swatted the fly.

ShiftsShifts

Be consistent in your use of Be consistent in your use of pronouns; don’t shift from one pronouns; don’t shift from one person to another. Make the point of person to another. Make the point of view consistent.view consistent. IncorrectIncorrect: : OneOne shouldn’t eat pudding shouldn’t eat pudding

with with youryour fingers. fingers. CorrectCorrect: : OneOne shouldn’t eat pudding shouldn’t eat pudding

with with his or herhis or her fingers. fingers.

ShiftsShifts

Maintain consistent verb tenses. Consistent Maintain consistent verb tenses. Consistent verb tenses clearly establish the time of the verb tenses clearly establish the time of the actions being described. When a passage actions being described. When a passage begins in one tense and then shifts without begins in one tense and then shifts without warning and for no reason to another, readers warning and for no reason to another, readers are distracted and confused.are distracted and confused.

IncorrectIncorrect: Big Joe : Big Joe sawsaw the police car coming the police car coming up behind, so he up behind, so he turnsturns into the next alley. into the next alley.

CorrectCorrect: Big Joe : Big Joe sawsaw the police car coming the police car coming up behind, so he up behind, so he turnedturned into the next alley. into the next alley.

Mixed ConstructionsMixed Constructions

Mixed constructions is a catchall term Mixed constructions is a catchall term that applies to a variety of sentence that applies to a variety of sentence construction errors. Usually, the term construction errors. Usually, the term refers to a sentence in which the writer refers to a sentence in which the writer begins with one kind of structure and begins with one kind of structure and then shifts to another in mid-sentence.then shifts to another in mid-sentence. Untangle the grammatical structureUntangle the grammatical structure Straighten out the logical connectionsStraighten out the logical connections Avoid Avoid is whenis when, , is whereis where, and , and reason…is reason…is

becausebecause constructions constructions


ConfusingConfusing: The novel is too confusing : The novel is too confusing for what the author meant.for what the author meant.

RevisedRevised: The novel is too confusing for : The novel is too confusing for me to understand what the author me to understand what the author meant.meant.


Confusing: Confusing: Children with messages Children with messages from their parents will be stapled to from their parents will be stapled to the bulletin board.the bulletin board.

RevisedRevised: To find messages from : To find messages from their parents, children should look at their parents, children should look at the bulletin board.the bulletin board.

Mixed ConstructionsMixed Constructions Confusing: Confusing: Anorexia nervosa Anorexia nervosa is whereis where

people, believing they are too fat, diet to people, believing they are too fat, diet to the point of starvation.the point of starvation.

RevisedRevised: Anorexia nervosa is a disorder : Anorexia nervosa is a disorder suffered by people who, believing they are suffered by people who, believing they are too fat, diet to the point of starvation.too fat, diet to the point of starvation.

ConfusingConfusing: Love : Love is whenis when you start you start rehearsing dinner-date conversation rehearsing dinner-date conversation before breakfast.before breakfast.

Revised: Revised: If you start rehearsing dinner-If you start rehearsing dinner-date conversation before breakfast, then date conversation before breakfast, then you’re in love.you’re in love.

Sentence EmphasisSentence Emphasis

Some words and phrases in your Some words and phrases in your sentences are more important than sentences are more important than others and therefore need more others and therefore need more emphasis. Three ways to vary emphasis. Three ways to vary emphasis are:emphasis are: Word OrderWord Order CoordinationCoordination SubordinationSubordination

Sentence Emphasis: Word OrderSentence Emphasis: Word Order

The arrangement of words in a sentence The arrangement of words in a sentence can determine which ideas receive the can determine which ideas receive the most emphasis. To stress a word or most emphasis. To stress a word or phrase, place it at the end of the sentence phrase, place it at the end of the sentence or at the beginning of the sentence:or at the beginning of the sentence:

MurderMurder was Colonel Mustard’s only solutionwas Colonel Mustard’s only solution..

Colonel Mustard knew only one solutionColonel Mustard knew only one solution: : MurderMurder..

Sentence Emphasis: CoordinationSentence Emphasis: Coordination

When you want to stress two closely When you want to stress two closely related ideas equally, coordinate them. In related ideas equally, coordinate them. In coordination, you join two sentences with coordination, you join two sentences with a comma and a coordinating conjunction a comma and a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS).(FANBOYS).

ChoppyChoppy: The most popular girl’s name : The most popular girl’s name today is Emily. The most popular boy’s today is Emily. The most popular boy’s name today is Jacob.name today is Jacob.

CoordinatedCoordinated: The most popular girl’s name : The most popular girl’s name today is Emilytoday is Emily, and, and the most popular the most popular boy’s name is Jacob.boy’s name is Jacob.

Sentence Emphasis: SubordinationSentence Emphasis: Subordination

Some sentences contain one main Some sentences contain one main statement and one or more less statement and one or more less emphasized elements; the less important emphasized elements; the less important ideas are subordinate to, or are dependent ideas are subordinate to, or are dependent upon, the sentence’s main idea. upon, the sentence’s main idea. Subordinating conjunctions introduce Subordinating conjunctions introduce dependent clauses.dependent clauses.

Without SubordinationWithout Subordination: Superman : Superman stopped changing his clothes. He realized stopped changing his clothes. He realized the phone booth was made of glass.the phone booth was made of glass.

With SubordinationWith Subordination: : WhenWhen he realized the he realized the phone booth was made of glass, phone booth was made of glass, Superman stopped changing his clothes.Superman stopped changing his clothes.

Sentence Emphasis: Combining Sentence Emphasis: Combining Choppy SentencesChoppy Sentences

Short sentences demand attention, so Short sentences demand attention, so you should use them primarily for you should use them primarily for emphasis. Too many short sentences, emphasis. Too many short sentences, one after the other, make for a choppy one after the other, make for a choppy style.style.

ChoppyChoppy: I have fond memories of Zilker : I have fond memories of Zilker Park. My husband and I met there.Park. My husband and I met there.

RevisedRevised: I have fond memories of Zilker : I have fond memories of Zilker Park Park becausebecause my husband and I met my husband and I met there.there.

Sentence Emphasis: Combining Sentence Emphasis: Combining Choppy SentencesChoppy Sentences

Below, a description of a popular movie has Below, a description of a popular movie has been chopped into simple sentences and been chopped into simple sentences and then combined into one complex sentence.then combined into one complex sentence.

Choppy [from Choppy [from PsychoPsycho (1960)] (1960)]: : Norman Bates manages a motel.Norman Bates manages a motel. It is remote.It is remote. It is dangerous.It is dangerous. Norman has a motherNorman has a mother She seems overly fond of knivesShe seems overly fond of knives He tries to protect his mom.He tries to protect his mom.

RevisedRevised: In a remote and dangerous motel, : In a remote and dangerous motel, manager Norman Bates tries to protect his manager Norman Bates tries to protect his mother, who seems overly fond of knives.mother, who seems overly fond of knives.

Sentence VarietySentence Variety The only torture worse than listening to The only torture worse than listening to

someone’s nails scraping across a blackboard someone’s nails scraping across a blackboard is being forced to read a paragraph (or is being forced to read a paragraph (or essay) full of identically constructed essay) full of identically constructed sentences.sentences.

Example (subject + predicate pattern): Example (subject + predicate pattern): SoccerSoccer is the most popular sport in the world. is the most popular sport in the world. SoccerSoccer exists in almost every country. exists in almost every country. SoccerSoccer players are sometimes more famous players are sometimes more famous than movie stars. than movie stars. SoccerSoccer teams compete teams compete every few years for the World Soccer Cup. every few years for the World Soccer Cup. SoccerSoccer fans often riot if their team loses. fans often riot if their team loses. SoccerSoccer is the only game in the world that is the only game in the world that makes people crazy.makes people crazy.

Sentence VarietySentence Variety

Use a variety of sentence structures. Use a variety of sentence structures. Try to achieve a mix of sentence Try to achieve a mix of sentence types (simple, compound, complex, types (simple, compound, complex, etc.)etc.)

Use a variety of sentence beginnings. Use a variety of sentence beginnings. Begin your sentences with adverbial Begin your sentences with adverbial modifiers, adjectives, participial modifiers, adjectives, participial phrases.phrases.

Try inverting sentences occasionally.Try inverting sentences occasionally.


Adverbial modifierAdverbial modifier: : EventuallyEventually, a few , a few drops of sap began to trickly from the drops of sap began to trickly from the tree into a pail.tree into a pail.

AdjectivesAdjectives: : Dejected and withdrawnDejected and withdrawn, , Edward nearly gave up his search for a Edward nearly gave up his search for a job.job.

Participial PhraseParticipial Phrase: : Anticipating a Anticipating a peaceful evening,peaceful evening, Roberto and I sat Roberto and I sat cross-legged at the campfire to brew a cross-legged at the campfire to brew a cup of coffee and plan the rest of our cup of coffee and plan the rest of our hike.hike.


InvertedInverted: Set at the top two corners : Set at the top two corners of the stage were huge lavender of the stage were huge lavender hearts outlined in bright, white lights.hearts outlined in bright, white lights.

Usual OrderUsual Order: Huge lavender hearts : Huge lavender hearts outlined in bright, white lights were outlined in bright, white lights were set at the top two corners of the set at the top two corners of the stage.stage.

Education

Sentence Style