Tausug Wedding Practices

Muslim marriage and Islamic wedding customs are traditions and practices that relate to wedding ceremonies and marriage rituals prevailing within the Muslim world. Participants in these rites belong to communities of people who have Islam as their faith.

Arranged marriagesArranged marriages although young

people are at liberty to express their preferences and state what they are looking for in a prospective partner, it is not the usual practice for them actively to seek a partner for themselves. This is mostly done by their parents or other elders within the family. In other words, it is usually an ‘arranged marriage’. Arranged marriage must fulfil the basic condition of the freely given consent of both the bride and the groom.

A ‘forced’ marriage, where consent has not been given by either the bride or the groom, or is given only under excessive pressure, is a different matter; this would be contrary to the teachings of Islam, and would immediately call into question the validity of the marriage. Arranged marriages are the general custom among Muslims as the best way to find, vet and meet potential husbands or wives within the overall context of the Islamic way of life.

Choice of partner

With regards to freedom of choice when marrying within their religion, Muslim men and women are given the right to choose who they want to marry. When marrying outside the religion, Muslim men may marry Christian or Jewish women but not other religions. Muslim women are not allowed to marry outside of Islam. In relation to women, men are encouraged to get married to religiously devoted women. Same-sex Marriage is not allowed in Islam.

What to look for in a man

According "Initiating and Upholding an Islamic Marriage", Hedaya Hartford states that there are many significant factors to consider prior to getting married. When looking for a potential spouse one should look for specific virtues- In a husband these are: Piety, A halaal (lawful) income, sufficient to support his household, basic Islamic knowledge, because Allah says in the Quran,

"Protect yourself and your family from the fire" (Qur'aan, 66:6)., contentment, ability to make mature judgments, ability to understand and think soundly, a forgiving nature, tolerance, an even temper, patience, generosity, responsibility, protectiveness, cooperation, being from a decent stable family, and good appearance and bodily cleanliness (Hartford 50).

What to look for in a woman

According "Initiating and Upholding an Islamic Marriage", Hedaya Hartford states the qualities you look for in a woman to make your wife and the mother of your children are: Piety, affectionate and easy going nature, ability to make mature judgments, ability to understand and think soundly, obedience, patience, contentment, being from a decent stable family, good appearance and bodily cleanliness (Hartford 52-53).

Dowries

At the wedding, a Muslim husband typically gives a gift, known as the Mahr or dower, to his wife. This type of dower, based on what was agreed upon by the couple, could be in the form of any item and “in any amount”. An example is a cantar or a “great amount” of gold. However, the man can also marry a woman based on the amount of knowledge he has about the Quran, even though he has no material possessions.

After the consummation of their marriage, it is customary for the male spouse to give a wedding reception, known as the Walima, to family members and friends. Such a reception serves as a celebration of the couple’s happiness.

In Islam, both husbands and wives are described to have equal duties and rights, although men are further described as having a “degree above” their wives. The Islamic rationale for this is that the husband is given authority within the household because he has received a heavier load of responsibilities, which include taking care of the woman who has become his wife, and that he also provides financial support to her. Wives are expected to respect their husbands wishes. On the other hand, men are expected to safeguard their women, because they were married to women with God’s trust.

The Philippines

Muslim communities in the Philippines include the Tausug tribe, a group of people in Jolo who practice matrimonial activities based on their own ethnic legislation and the laws of Islam. Their customary and legal matrimony is composed of negotiated arranged marriage (pagpangasawa), marriage through the “game of abduction” (pagsaggau), and elopement (pagdakup). Furthermore, although Tausug men may acquire two wives, bigamous or plural marriages are rare.

A Filipino Muslim Royal Wedding in Southern Philippines

Prior to the wedding, the bride performs a traditional Tausug bath.

Pictures of some Dowries: