Ten steps to becoming social emotional aces-short-version-

Ten Steps to Bulding

Emotional Core Strength

Written & Presented By

Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW

Therapist for Sensitive and Gifted

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Sharon M. Barnes

Therapist For Sensitive and Gifted

MSSW – Masters of Science in Social Work, SDSU

LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Colorado USA

Local Counseling/Psychotherapy

Online Distance Consultation

Presentations, PlayShops & Retreats

Professional Development

Jungian-oriented depth work to:

Release your Creativity

Heal your Past

Transform your Pain

Become Fully Alive

Find & Fulfill your True Purpose ©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Social and emotional needs are crucial to

the well-being of gifted students and

adults.

Social and emotional needs

o Low Self-esteem or confidence

o Anxiety

o Depression

Ten Steps to Building Emotional

Core Strength

(How to Become

Social-Emotional ACES)

Targeting

Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional Resilience

Self-Esteem

RESULT: Restore ability to

Create & Innovate

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC -

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Foundation Stone 1: What’s the BIG PICTURE?



GT Kids (of all ages) CAN be ACES at . . .

Asynchrony

soCial Skills


Self-esteem ©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

What’s an

ACE? Exhibit A:

o Elite baseball pitcher

o Team’s best starter

o First in the rotation

o Plays the BIG games


GT Kids (of all ages) CAN be ACES at . . .

Asynchrony

soCial Skills


Self-esteem ©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

What’s a Social-Emotional ACE?

Social –Emotional ACES =

“5 G’s”

1. Gain perspective (big picture)

2. Gain understanding and

acceptance of self & others

3. Gain skills to balance and

express emotions

4. Gain skills to meet own social-

emotional needs effectively

5. Gain skills to establish and

maintain social relationships


Top 3 Issues

o Children

o Teens

o Adults

1. Super-sensitivity

2.Anxiety

3.Depression


A Great Tragedy

o School Shootings ← GT Students

o Suicides of Gifted & Talented People

o Under –Achievement

o Alienation

o Dumbing down

o Copping out

o Dropping out

o Wasted intelligence

o Wasted talent

o Wasted lives


Something’s

wrong with me


I’m an Alien


Creative

Acutely Aware

Super- Sensitive

Intense, often Introverted and/or

Gifted

You? someone you know?

= CASIGY™ ©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com


CASIGYs More perceptive CNS

More reactive CNS


CASIGYs’ Mascot *Different*

o ridiculed

o excluded

o shunned

o shamed

o ostracized

o banished into exile

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com ©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

because of . . .


LATER … he returned from exile


Also

because of . . .


What’s YO

UR

S?


First 50 who come

to my table get a

RED NOSE!


•2 •3

•1 •4

Return

Red

Nose:

MisFit

Outcast Exile

CASIGY Cycle of Discouragement

The Hero

&

Heroine’s

Journey

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com


•2 •3

•1 •4

Creative

Contri-

bution

Creative

Coping

Creative

Healing

Creative

Transfor-

mation

CASIGY Cycle of Encouragement

The

Hero’s &

Heroine’s

Journey


Foundation Stone 2: Who am I & Where am I in this picture?





Preparation for

the Journey

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Multi-Purpose Tool:


Emotions are like Ocean Waves o natural phenomenon

o energy

o don’t ask permission

o respond to the weather, moon & earth’s movement

o Our 1st reaction is to

o When we fight them,

o Learn to READ them

o Learn to RIDE them

F IGHT THEM

WE LOSE

We can s t ay SAFE

We can have FUN








GREEN Flag = Small waves = ALL CLEAR

ORANGE Flag = Medium waves = CAUTION

RED Flag = Big waves = DANGER

BLACK Flag = Tsunami = GET OFF THE BEACH

PURPLE Flag = Something’s in the water =

BEWARE

What Color Flag is flying on Your Inner Beach?


CASIGY™ Tool #1

First

Best

Last

Use anywhere

Use anytime

BREATHE

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com/

Resources/CASIGY Tool Box/ Relaxation

Breathing Exercises


http://www.therapistforsensitiveandgifted.com/



“I’ve decided to outsource my emotional needs”

5. What do I need? How can I meet this need? ©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC - www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

How do I interpret this event or situation?

o What’s my first take on what it means?

o Things are not always as they seem – does it

REALLY mean this?

o What else might it mean?


CASIGYs Often Believe:

“I’m Different,

therefore

something’s wrong

with me; I’m

Defective, Inferior,

and Inadequate”


Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration o Emotions influence personality development

o Intelligence is not a sufficient condition for human

development

o Experience of negative emotions is essential for advanced

psychological development.

o Therefore the goal of therapy is not to eliminate negative

emotions

o When individuals are on the path of development, negative

emotions are essential companions

o Negative emotions may break apart lower levels of

development and thus prepare us for higher levels of

development

o Therefore having negative emotions may be a

harbinger of further development


Jung’s Depth Psychology: Most people can stay undeveloped psychically with

no particularly negative consequences for themselves

They are unconscious and are perfectly happy being

unconscious.

They give lots of other people trouble and pain, but

they are not pained because of their unconsciousness.

Many (especially CASIGYs) DO have a great NEED to

develop to a deeper, higher, broader level.

They develop symptoms (neuroses) that haunt them

unless and until they become more and more

conscious and more developed psychologically.

Like those who MUST explore new physical territory

(California or BUST), they MUST individuate.

Tragically, they most often misinterpret the meaning

of their symptoms, AKA neuroses.

They need to understand that their symptoms are

signs of an INVITATION WITH AN IMPERATIVE TO

GROW & DEVELOP FURTHER.


CASIGYs ─ You’re NOT

Defective;

You’re Different … by Design!


When our Waves are Out of Proportion

o More perceptive CNS

o More reactive CNS

o HALT

o Misunderstanding

o Misinterpretation

o Pull from the past (depression)

o Push to the future (anxiety)

o Complexes distort reality

7. Does the SIZE of this wave MATCH

the significance of the situation?


We all need fences

8. What are my limits?

How can I honor them?


Accept the Waves o Stop resisting & fighting the waves

o Watch the waves

o Ride the waves

9. What can I DO about this

OR how can I accept this?


CASIGYS CAN be ACES at . . . Asynchrony

soCial Skills


Self-esteem


10. Personal

Positive

Predictability

Whatever comes your way in life, you can predict that

you can (eventually) find a positive, creative,

constructive way to cope with it.



Thanks for participating!

o Your feedback, please!

o Remember, the First

50 who come to my

table get a RED NOSE!


Sources Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Person.

Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Child

Campbell, Joseph. Hero with a Thousand Faces

Jung, C.G., MD. Two Essays on Analytical Psychology.

Sal Mendaglio, PhD. Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration

James T. Webb, PhD. Searching for Meaning. Idealism, Bright

Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope

James T. Webb, PhD and Edward R. Amend, PhD. Misdiagnosis

and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD,

Bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, Depression


Education

Ten steps to becoming social emotional aces-short-version-