Hello! Welcome to my attempt at a Trailer Park Challenge! The Trailer Park Challenge was created by fuzzy_spork, and there’s a link to the rules on my LJ. This is the third of three new challenges that I had planned to start, and I hope you enjoy it.

A note on the title: The correct pronunciation of “Fuchs” is “fooks” to rhyme with “dukes,” not… well, not to rhyme with “ducks.” (I looked it up. Did you know that the name comes from the German for “fox”? Now you do!) The title is meant to be saucy, not obscene.

Please note: For purposes of this story, the Fuchs household will speak the way I do. I generally write dialog with correct grammar and all letters present, but when I speak in casual conversation, I (like most people) slur some words, sometimes leave off the final G in words that end in -ing, and use some constructions that the grammar book wouldn’t approve of. (Like that one there, for example. End a sentence with a preposition? Unthinkable!) The different speech pattern is meant to demonstrate a socioeconomic class difference, but not to make fun of people… unless you count making fun of myself. You know, since I’ll be writing down how I talk and all.

And now, let’s meet the founder of this challenge!

Say hello to Goochie Fuchs. (She’s the one in the hat.) Goochie is named after the real classy designer, you know? The one that does the shoes and handbags and stuff?* Because Goochie’s parents wanted their little girl to be classy, which is probably why she’s attracted to people in stylish hats who have never worked a day in their lives. No makeup, please.

Goochie is a Romance Sim and a Libra. Libras are hospitable (Goochie has 9 Outgoing and 7 Playful), diplomatic and peaceful (Goochie has 6 Nice). They can also be indecisive (Goochie wants 20 Simultaneous Lovers) and are sometimes described as lazy (Goochie has 1 Neat and 2 Active). So you see, astrology works.

*Gucci, the design firm, is pronounced more or less like “Goochie.”

Because I had to rebuild recently, Goochie was the first Sim created in this ’hood. I took advantage of that to use her to spawn townies, downtownies, and special NPCs. I ended up with two Mr. Bigs and no Divas, which was mildly disappointing.

On the other hand, the townies and NPCs are truly random now. Many have interesting skintones, like this Garden Club lady, and hats, glasses, and facial hair now make actual appearances*! Add in that the number of clones is minimal and that the name generator is now working properly (no more Abhijeets and only one Allyn), and you have one happy simmer!

*This required three hacks from MATY, all of which are worth downloading.

The Welcome Wagon came by promptly at noon, right after I had finished creating all the townies, strays, and special NPCs I could ever need, setting the gender preferences of the ’hood (although with the current low population of less than 100, non-straight sims make up a statistically insignificant portion of the total), and randomizing Goochie’s preference on the SimBlender (males).

Goochie started making friends pretty quickly.

However, for reasons I can’t even begin to fathom, the male member of the Welcome Wagon didn’t take kindly to being wolf-whistled at and told he had a “real cute butt.”

Just for the record: Although that is the grammatical construction I would use, I wouldn’t say that to someone I had met for the first time twenty minutes earlier.

Goochie was feeling a little down after being rejected, and rolled the Want to buy some Love Potion. Since the matchmaker had just walked on to the lot and Goochie had $542 left in her inventory, some idiot decided it would be a good idea to let her buy some.

GOOCHIE: An’ this’ll really work?

THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: Hon, your future’s so bright, I have to wear shades!

Then there was some idiot who thought that spending an additional $100+ on a date would be a good idea.

THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER (sourly): Big spender, huh?

GOOCHIE: Yes ma’am! Couldja get me one that’s maybe up f’r some woohoo on the first date?

THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: You’ll get what you pay for.

Which means a Family Sim with negative chemistry. The date seemed to go pretty well, though, all things considered, despite the presence of guests and their fights in the background.

Or maybe because of that?

But Goochie’s date was less than thrilled with the suggestion that they kiss goodbye.

GOOCHIE’S DATE: Do you see a ring on this finger?

GOOCHIE: Uh… No?

GOOCHIE’S DATE: Then no kissing!

And there was no first-date-woohoo.

This would be the point where I realized two important things:

1. Goochie’s lone Neat point is a complete and utter lie

and

2. I left out light fixtures -- I mean, Goochie didn’t pay her electric bill on time and the lights got cut off. Something like that. Not my fault.

Nope, not my fault at all.

The next morning, Goochie invited Kennedy Charvat (the fellow with the real cute butt) over. He asked if he could bring a friend, and Goochie said sure, expecting another guy, maybe also one with a cute butt and less pickiness about receiving compliments.

Unfortunately, the friend turned out to be a girl. An affectionate one. And one that Kennedy kept heartfarting.

GOOCHIE: Well, that’s no good. I c’n take him away, though, I bet.

Unfortunately for Goochie, that was a bet she’d lose.

Goochie spent a good chunk of the late afternoon trying to make good enough friends with a stray to be able to adopt it. Although she did make friends with this little guy, their relationship is not quite good enough for him to move in. I hope he comes back.

And before you tell me that little terriers are not macho enough to be part of a Trailer Park Challenge, I will just remind you that most terriers are ratters: tenacious and bred to efficiently fight and kill rats. I will also remind you that rats tend to be vicious, dirty fighters.

The next day, Goochie took another crack at the “romance” thing.

THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: Really? Eight simoleans?GOOCHIE: Uh-huh!THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: Seriously. Eight.GOOCHIE: Yup! I have $42, so that’s like a quarter of what I got.*THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: How do you even pay your bills?GOOCHIE: Oh, they give ya almost a week before they come’n take your stuff. It’ll all work out.

*Math is not Goochie’s strong suit.

GOOCHIE: Oh, come on. That one’s married.*THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: Would that really stop you?GOOCHIE: Yeah, but he’s married to like an alien. With green skin an’ all. She can prolly, I dunno, shoot me with mind lasers or somethin’. You don’t mess with alien’s husbands. Gimmie another date.THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: For $8 again?GOOCHIE: Naw, I can only afford six now.THE ALIEN MATCHMAKER: (mutters something uncomplimentary in Alien)

*He’s supposed to be married, anyhow. I messed up during the rebuild.

Goochie’s second date of the day, with Adrian Landchild, seemed to go pretty well. They got along well, and their chemistry went from negative bolts to one bolt over the course of the afternoon. Once the date was over, Adrian autonomously stuck around, playing with Goochie and doing a little gardening.

He’s quite shy, and wasn’t up for a sleepover, but when he took his leave of Goochie, he made it clear that he was up for continuing the acquaintance.

GOOCHIE: Oooooh, so romantic! Don’t you forget to call me, hear?

And that is how this rotation ends: Goochie has no job, no dogs, no man, nothing to sell at the annual yard sale, and no lights, but things are looking up. I expect everything to really take off next rotation. I hope you will join me to find out if I’m right.

Until next time, Happy Simming!