English 111

Instructor: Andrea Anderson

Unit #1 EssayCommunity Profile

Community Profile: PreparationLook at the Assignment Sheet in the Unit #1 folder on Blackboard

Community Profile: Preparation

According to The Norton Field Guide,a profile is a written portrait of a place. It presents a subject in an entertaining way that conveys its significance, showing us something that we may not have known existed or that we see everyday but don’t know much about.

GET STARTED: Read Chapter 16 -Profiles

Also read Chapters 37, 38, and 40 – Describing, Dialogue, and Narrating.

Read the example essay (On Blackboard)

Understanding the Assignment

All academic essays MUST have:

1. Introduction Paragraph with a Thesis Statement

2. Body Paragraphs

3. Conclusion Paragraph

Per the assignment sheet, your essay MUST contain the following features in the body paragraphs: Background Information

Description of firsthand observations using sensory details

Examples of community impact or use

Anecdote(s)

Dialogue

Be sure not to include too much of one feature, and not enough of another. Use a well-balanced combination of each!

Background Information This feature informs the reader of all pertinent

information about this place. This is factual information. Examples of background information include:What the place is/doesWhere the place isWhen the place was createdWhy the place was created and by whoWhy the community needs or wants this place

Remember – this is NOT a report, so don’t include too much background information.

Example(s) of Community Impact, Use, or Importance

Find a true and specific example of how this place is impacting the community, being used by the community, or of importance to the community. Examples – a specific example of how a non-profit is benefiting

people receiving services, a specific example of community use for trail systems, an example of a restaurant serving as a gathering place for community groups.

You can find this information from talking to people or from your own personal experience.

Description Using Sensory Details You MUST visit your place to gain a further understanding of

your subject. While there you should record your firsthand observations.

In your paper you must include descriptions of your firsthand observations using sensory details. Sensory details help to bring your subject to life by appealing to the different senses of the reader.

In academic writing you are typically discouraged from using the word “I.” You should refrain from using it. After all, this is a paper about a place, not you.

NO - When I walked into the office, the smell of coffee overwhelmed me.

YES - The smell of coffee overwhelms the senses immediately upon entering the office.

Dialogue You need to talk to other people about your place. Ask

them questions about your place to discover what they think about the place and what their experiences with the place are. Include quotes (both direct and indirect) from your conversation.

Be sure that the dialogue that you include helps support your angle!

Integrate the dialogue into your writing. For more information on the importance of using quotations and how to integrate them, see Chapter 38 on page 376.

Anecdote(s) An anecdote is a short and interesting story about a

specific incident, person, or place

Interesting does not necessarily mean funny. The anecdote should help define and support the angle you are taking.

The anecdote could be about the place or maybe even someone who works there.

The anecdote can be based on your own experience or that of someone else.

Did you:Read the Unit #1 Assignment SheetRead Chapter 16 in The Norton Field Guide to WritingRead the example essay (on Blackboard)

Now it is time to GET STARTED WITH THE WRITING PROCESS

Writing Process Step #1

Pre-Writing

Choose a Subject

Choose an Angle

Brainstorming/Outlining –what you already know

Research – what you need to find out

Later Writing Process Steps to Consider

Writing

Revising

Editing

Publishing

Choosing a SubjectFor this assignment, you will write a profile of an interesting place in your community that is worth talking about.

If you are having trouble getting started, any of the places on the assignment sheet would make great subjects. Or, you might as a friend and write about somewhere that is new to you!

Choose a place that you! The best wrought papers evolve from

writing about a subject that you are intrigued by.

You’ll be spending a LOT of time on this assignment over the next three weeks… don’t start the assignment bored.

Sometimes (not always) it is best to write about a place that you don’t know too much about. This allows you a fresh perspective and a

chance to research and investigate before you begin writing.

Remember – this has to be a place that anyone can visit without needing an invitation.

Choosing an Angle

A good profile captures its subject from an interesting ANGLE.

For an example, look at the next slide of a profile introduction paragraph written by an English 111 student.

When writing your profile, do NOT try to tell the reader everything about the place. You need to write on a narrow topic.

Your profile needs to be organized around ONE specific idea or theme. This idea is called your angle, and your angle will help unite the various paragraphs of your essay.

When choosing an ANGLE, consider the following question: What ONE aspect do you want to tell the reader about this place? Choose your angle before you write…it will help

you stay on subject from the very beginning.

Profile Angle ExampleTaken from Profile Essay Introduction ParagraphWritten by English 111 Student

Grey Cliffs is in danger. This unknown piece of wilderness is located fifteen miles north of Nikiski, Alaska, and land development threatens its seemingly untouched landscape. For those that know and love this little place off the beaten path, it is an important that it stays this way. There has been discussion over the past few years to extend the Kenai Spur Highway north to Moose Point where it would meet a bridge built across Turnagain Arm to Anchorage. This multi-million dollar project would create an alternative route from the Kenai Peninsula to Anchorage while simultaneously destroying Grey Cliffs. This area is worth preserving for future generations of Alaskans to enjoy. Grey Cliffs is a haven for camping and off the grid living on the bustling Kenai Peninsula.

Profile Angle ExampleTaken from Profile Essay Introduction ParagraphWritten by English 111 Student

The thesis statement for this student’s essay says, “Grey Cliffs is a haven for camping and off the grid living on the bustling Kenai Peninsula.”

The angle is made clear in the thesis statement. The rest of this essay proves that Grey Cliffs is a little known, quiet place that is great for camping and off the grid living. It is a haven on the busy Kenai Peninsula.

The angle is not about preserving Grey Cliffs. A paper arguing for the preservation of Grey Cliffs would be a totally different assignment. The body paragraphs don’t explicitly state that the place is worth preserving, but the student author re-touches on that in the conclusion. The body paragraphs prove this point by SHOWING what a haven Grey Cliffs is.

Profile Angle ExampleExample Essay (On Blackboard)

In the profile “Communicating with Art,” the author writes profiles the Alzheimer’s Resources of Alaska.

Alzheimer’s Resources of Alaska provides many resources to patients and the families of patients with Alzheimer’s disease. However, the author did NOT cover all of these aspects.

The author chose to show the reader how the Art Links program “is a creative outlet for participants experiencing cognitive and memory difficulties.” That is her angle.

Each paragraph supports the angle she chose to make a focused and convincing essay.

Just a Reminder…

DUE: Saturday, October 12

ASSIGNMENT: Submit Your Topic

You need to create a post in Unit #1 Topic Discussion that tells me and your classmates what subject you have chosen, why you chose it, and what angle you will take in your writing.

This is ESSENTIAL in getting started on a good note. I will provide you with prompt feedback regarding your topics.

Pre-Writing: Brainstorming/OutliningDon’t sit down and start writing without pre-writing. Brainstorming helps you to get your ideas flowing and outlining helps you to get organized before you start writing your paragraphs.

Brainstorming Styles Free-Writing Looping Listing Clustering Cubing Questioning

For more information on brainstorming styles, see Chapter 23, pages 219-222

Outlining Example

I. IntroductionI. Hook…get reader’s

attentionII. Thesis statement

II. BodyI. Background InformationII. Description using sensory

details.III. Example of community use,

with dialogueIV. Anecdote, with dialogueV. Anecdote #2

III. Conclusion

For more information on outlining, see Chapter 23, pages 223

Outlining: Grey CliffsThis outline is incomplete: Red Highlighting indicates where the student has more work to do.

WRITING!

Now its time to site down and write.

Be sure:

•Received feedback from the instructor on your topic and angle.

•You have done your research

•You have brainstormed and/or outlined your paper

•You have reviewed the Unit #1 Assignment Sheet

•Asked for clarification on any questions.

Peer Review The Peer Review will begin Sunday, October 20, and end on

Saturday, October 26. I will assign you peer review partners and will create a peer

review group space on Blackboard for you and your partners. Your group space allows you to share files back and forth.

TIMELINE: Sunday, October 20: Submit your finished draft to your group

space on Blackboard. Monday, October 21: I will assign you peer review partners. October 21 – 26: Read your partner’s paper, complete the peer

review questionnaire, and offer advice for improvement. Saturday, October 26: Return the completed peer review

questionnaires to your partners (and me) via email!More specific directions for this assignment will be available on

Blackboard on October 21!

Revising and Editing Revise Look at the advise that your classmates gave you during

the peer review. Make the changes that you feel will improve your paper.

Two pieces of ADVICE: #1: Give yourself plenty of time to revise. If you can, get away

from your writing for a little while. When you return refreshed, you will be more likely to catch errors and digressions.

#2: Remember to make sure that this is a reader-centered paper not a writer-centered paper. In other words, detach yourself from your paper and revise it to assure that everything is clear and belongs on the page. Just because you spent time writing it, doesn’t mean it belongs in your final draft. If it doesn’t, erase it.

Edit Check your paper for proper grammar, punctuation, and

usage.

Use your Resources…OWL @ KPC OWL is the online

writing lab at KPC. You can submit your paper to the OWL and get feedback from KPC faculty. You let them know specifically what you would like help with! http://owl.kpc.alaska.edu

Publishing For the purposes of this class, publishing means

turning the final draft of your paper in for grading!

FINAL DRAFT DUE: by Saturday, November 2 @ 11:59 pm.

Be sure to turn it in on time, otherwise it will be considered LATE. Late papers are penalized by deducting 20% of the possible points before grading.

YOU WILL SUBMIT YOUR FINAL DRAFT IN BLACKBOARD. There will be a link for you to upload your papers in the Unit #1 Folder.

The final draft is worth 115 points!

LECTURE: THE END

This is your first major writing assignment for

the semester and is designed to help you

ease (back) into academic writing.

If you have any questions regarding this assignment, please don’t hesitate to either come to my office hours or to email me. Be sure that you detail exactly what it is that you don’t understand or would like help with.

amanderson10@kpc.alaska.edu

Revising Your Graded Paper for an Improved Grade

A note about revision…you are allowed to revise the

first three papers if you are interested in improving your grade.

In addition to making significant changes to improve the paper, you are also responsible for writing an in-depth explanation of the changes you made, why you made them, and how the changes improve your paper. This is a time consuming process.

In other words, it is often easier and more time efficient to turn in your best possible work the first time.