UNIT 4: RELATIONSHIPSPART 1: WHAT IS DATING?

© Jenison International Academy

Melissa Rodgers

What do you think of when you hear the word “dating”?

Do you have positive or negative feelings?

Think about a date or a dream date, what are you looking for?

WHAT IS DATING?A prearranged planned activity between two people

Traditionally arranged by the male.

Only a date when one asks the other to share an activity.

PURPOSES OF DATING1. Socialization:

To develop appropriate social skills To practice getting along with others in different settings

2. RecreationTo have fun and enjoy the companionship of othersTo try new and different activities.

3. Mate SelectionTo see others in many different settingsTo compare the personality and characteristics of many people

DO’S ON A DATE:

1. Be concerned with your date’s comfort2. Be able to carry on a conversation3. Be able to ask questions4. Stay attentive to your date5. Show respect for the other person6. Be yourself: be genuine

DON’TS ON A DATE

1. Speaking freely of past relationships2. Be oblivious to the partner’s needs3. Be unfamiliar with the rules of etiquette4. Pointing out faults5. Dominating the topic6. Pretending to know everything

LAW OF ATTRACTIONThere is a simple explanation for why we are attracted to certain people and not to others.

We are likely to be attracted to not only people who offer us positive reinforcement, but also people who are associated with positive events or qualities (meeting someone at summer camp)

LAW OF ATTRACTIONConversely, we are not likely to feel attracted to the people who supply negative reinforcement or those associated with negative events or qualities. (you are probably not attracted to someone who criticizes you)

THERE ARE 2 THEORIES ABOUT WHY PEOPLE CHOOSE EACH

OTHER:

1. Homogamy or like attracts like. Having similar interests, backgrounds, goals, families, education, etc.

2. Complementary Needs, we are attracted to someone who is our temperamental opposite. Choosing someone who is competent in areas we are not, and weak in areas where we are strong.

BUT, trouble occurs when people are looking for their missing parts

WHAT IS PHYSICAL ATTRACTION?

1. Have you ever heard the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. It means that different people find different physical qualities attractive, giving us lots of opportunity to be attracted to others.

WHAT IS PHYSICAL ATTRACTION?

2. In the process of dating, physical attractiveness initially plays an important role. For example, researchers have found physical attractiveness is one of the most important traits related to frequency of being asked out on a first date.

WHAT IS PHYSICAL ATTRACTION?

3. Physical appearance is not everything. In the long run, physical attractiveness is not important in developing or sustaining a good relationship. It may get you a date, but it will not get you a long-term happy relationship.

LOVE VS. INFATUATION

Infatuation is based on instant desire. You are concerned with meetings your own basic needs. Couples can be happy in this stage for a long time, but the flame of infatuation can only burn for so long. Either the couple continues the relations (healthy, give and take) and they grow together or the flame burns out and they go their separate ways.

LOVE VS. INFATUATION Love is a giving relationship. Each partner

gives of themselves in many different ways, beyond the basic emotional and physical desires. Love grows steadily over time.