PART IICHAPTER 4:

TEACH SELF-CONTROL

WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGHA GUIDE TO PARENTING CHILDREN WITH RAD-REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER

BY Nancy L. Thomas

“CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCEHANDS IN YOUR LAP”

STRONG SITTING

•AN EXERCISE THAT HELPS THE BRAIN TO ‘SHIFT GEARS’•A TIME TO THINK, DREAM, PLAN OR PRAY

What is Strong Sitting?

It gives the brain an opportunity to shift in the most successful position

What

does it

do?

NEO-CORTEX

LOGIC

REASONING

SCHOOL WORK

LOVE AND ATTACHMENT

Limbic

System

It stimulates both of these parts of

the brain!

They must shift gears in their brain to

the Neo-cortex by going through

the Limbic system.

Each minute they spend doing

it correctly exercises the

logic and/or love parts of the

mind.

DONE CORRECTLY?YES

NO

YES

• Sitting Still• Back Straight• Quiet• Hands Folded• Chest/Lung Area Open

What Strong Sitting is NOT:

PunishmentThe child paying with their time for something they have done wrong

Pushing the child away

Isolation

You must get compliance on this basic level before attempting to get compliance, honesty, or any progress on any level.

It might take a long time to get it clear you are serious

You need to wait patiently until they get strong enough to do it right.

‘No Problem’ means it’s no problem for me!

* Things To Note About Strong Sitting *

HA

VE

“NO

!”P

RA

CT

ICE

The Basic Skills

•Come• Go• No• Sit• Stay

Should be mastered,

by 18 months of age.

They MUST be mastered before

a child can possibly handle more involved

tasks.

Have fun practice sessions

when you have time.

CHOICES•When you feel they may be ready: offer a choice of two items• If they pick a third choice, they are not ready for choices.

•You make the choices until they are ready

Getting The Child To Go To Their Room

•Have them practice when they are not angry•Have the therapist practice with them•Have the therapist practice ‘doing it for mom’ at the office.•Tell them to go to their room when they start to get angry, not after they are over the top•The child should not be in their room longer than 30 minutes of quiet no matter how old they are.