Women’s Writing Workshop

November 7, 2011

Let’s beat the boys again!!!

Women’s Writing Workshop

November 7, 2011• Please gather in groups of 8 – do not move

chairs. Each group should have white boards and markers, as well as a paper

towel. • Appoint two people to be recorders and

two people to be spokeswomen.• The remaining group members will be active participants by contributing ideas

and watching the time.• League members are requested to sit separately as you will be moving about the

room throughout the afternoon.

LEAGUE

GIRLS

Teacher’s Desk Area

Screen Screen

We’re going to look at some basics first – please

take notes

WHY ARE WE HERE?Georgia Eight Grade Writing

AssessmentThe purpose of the 8th Grade Writing Assessment is to assess

student achievement in the Georgia Performance

Standards in writing and to improve writing and writing instruction. The 8th Grade

Writing Assessment provides predictive information to eighth

graders about their future writing performance in advance

of taking the Georgia High School Writing Test (GHSWT)

Taken from Cobb County Schools Web Site

How is the writing exam assessed?

•Assessment is based on a scaled score.•The scale score range for the Grade 8 Writing Assessment is 100 to 350. Writing scores are also reported in the following performance levels: •Does Not Meet - (100 – 199) = 73% or less•Meets - ( 200 – 249) = 74% - 79%•Exceeds – ( 250 – 350) = 80%+

• Taken from Cobb County Schools Web Site

Does Not Meet the Standard

•Will demonstrate limited focus on the assigned topic or genre and may lack an introduction or conclusion •A controlling idea may be unclear, or the controlling idea may not address the assigned genre.

•Development of the topic is minimal, and supporting ideas are listed rather than developed.

•Ideas may not be grouped or sequenced appropriately, and transitions may be lacking.

Does Not Meet the Standard

•The writing shows little awareness of audience or reader concerns.

•Word choice and sentences are simple and/or repetitive.

•The writer’s voice is inconsistent or not apparent.

•Frequent errors in sentence formation, usage, and mechanics may interfere with or obscure meaning.

•Demonstration of competence may be limited by the brevity of the response.

Writing samples that meet the standard are generally focused on the assigned topic and genre, and contain a clear introduction, body and conclusion.

Expository compositions have a controlling idea that explains or describes the assigned topic.

Persuasive compositions have a clear position on the assigned topic.

Supporting ideas are relevant and developed with some examples

and details, but some parts of the paper may be more developed than others.

Meets the Standard

Ideas are presented in a clear sequence. Related ideas are grouped together and connected with some transitions.

Word choice is generally engaging, and there is some variation in

sentence length and structure.

The writer’s voice is clear, and the writing shows awareness of the audience.

Sentence formation, usage, and mechanics are generally correct, and errors do not interfere with meaning.

The text is of sufficient length to demonstrate effective writing skills.

Meets the Standard

Exceeds the Standard Writing samples that exceed the standard are consistently focused

on the assigned topic, genre, and audience, and have an effective introduction, body, and conclusion.

Expository compositions have a clear controlling idea that fully explains or describes the assigned topic.

Persuasive compositions have a well developed controlling idea that establishes the validity of the writer’s position.

Supporting ideas are relevant and fully elaborated with specific examples and details that address reader concerns.

Ideas are logically grouped and sequenced within paragraphs and across parts of the paper.

Exceeds the Standard Varied transitional elements are used to connect ideas.

Word choice is varied and precise throughout the response, and sentences are varied in length and structure.

The writer’s voice is distinctive, and the writer demonstrates sustained attention to the audience in the introduction, body, and conclusion.

Sentence formation, usage, and mechanics are consistently correct in a variety of contexts.

Errors are minor and infrequent.

The text is of sufficient length to demonstrate effective writing skills in a variety of contexts.

So What’s the Big Difference?Adjectives;)

DNM – Lacking, limited, inconsistent, unclear, unaware, errors

M – general, some, somewhat, generally, sufficient, minor errors

Ex- consistent, effective, well developed, fully elaborated, varied & precise, distinctive, minimal errors

Domain Scoring8th Grade Writing Exam is also scored based on individual domains. The domain scoring ranges from scores of 0-5. The domain areas are:

Ideas – controlling idea, supporting details

Organization – logical plan

Style – purpose, assigned genre, word choice

Conventions- sentence structure, grammar, punctuation.

Taken from Cobb County Schools Web Site

Don’t ask how they get from a 0 – 5 point scale to a scaled score of 100 – 350. It’s a mystery unknown to man.

Scores for 2010 Writing Exam for Lovinggood Middle School

•Total 8th grade student population taking exam•420 (211 boys) (209 girls)

•Total 8th grade student population in exceeds category•42 (14 boys) (28 girls)•6% of boys with exceeds scores•13% of girls with exceeds scores

Lovinggood Middle School Scores Cont’d

•78% of total school population scored in the Meets category.•Out of 420 students •161 of boys scored in the meets category•167of girls scored in the meets category•79% of population of girls scored in meets•76% of population of boys scored in meets•This means over ¾ of total population just does o.k.

•WE NEED EXCEEDS!

Trend data from 09 & 10

Percent in PL1

Percent in PL2

Percent in PL3

.0

10.0

20.0

30.0

40.0

50.0

60.0

70.0

80.0

90.0

Series1

Series2

Lovinggood Middle School 8th Grade Writing Scores

Series1Series2

Levels of Performance - Does Not Meet, Meets, Exceeds

Percent Totals 2009 Data

2010 Data

Projections for 2011 Writing Scores

•Total 8th grade population scheduled to take writing exam•397 (approx.) (209 boys) (188 girls)To achieve same percentage of exceeds scores, we will have to do it with 21 less girls and 4 less boys.Goal – increase exceeds percentage from 13% to 20% for girls. - increase exceeds percentage from 6% to 15% for boys.

Projections•That means……•At least 36 out of 188 girls will need to score in exceeds category on the writing exam.•At least 31 out of 209 boys will need to score in exceeds category on the writing exam.

•BUT, WE WANT MORE!

•WE CAN DO IT!

WOMANW – Write with vivid verbsO – Open with a hookM – Make it believableA – Always close with a restatementN – Note the time

Write with Vivid Verbs

Remember your brush strokes and literary devices. Don’t use the same old boring verbs. Mix it up. Remember “said is dead.”

What fabulous vocabulary can you impart?

ANNOUNCEDBABBLED

CONTINUEDDECLARED

Try this image – what verbs spring to mind?

Propelled

How about this one?

Policed

One more – but this time, let’s do descriptive words.

Sarcastic

Open With A Hook•Use a statement•Use a description•Use a statistic or fact•Use dialogue•Use a rhetorical question•Use a quotation•Use an unusual detail

Give me an H!Idling in an unending line of smog infested cars, Mrs. Brown waited to pick up Molly, once again asking herself “Why don’t I just make her ride the bus?”

Give me an O!Nose twitching, ears listening, the koala clung to the eucalyptus tree.

Give me another O!Did you know that 72 percent of Emperor Penguins dance as part of their daily exercise ritual?

Give me a K!“Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free;The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,Send these, the homeless,Tempest-tossed to meI lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Make It BelievableGrey squirrel

Red Squirrel

Make up questions to consider before you write.1. How many grey squirrels get hit by cars in suburban

neighborhoods each year?2. How far can red squirrels fly when they leave the tree

limb?3. What do the local park rangers have to say about the

grey squirrel populations at the park?4. Are red squirrels native to the USA?

Believable Answers to made up questions

1. 67.4% of all grey squirrels meet their demise by being on the business end of a motor vehicle.

2. Red squirrels are able to soar over 6 feet when they expand the skin flap

between their front and rear legs. This allows them to move through high tree tops and avoid predators on the ground.

3. Ranger Ron said in a recent interview “Grey squirrel populations have gotten so high that their existence has made it hard for patrons to enjoy the picnic areas. Something needs to be done to control them.”

4. Red squirrels are native to coniferous forests in England, Scotland and Norway, and can be found at higher elevations in Ireland.

Now you try….The big bad wolf…

How about another chance?Television violence…

Always Close with a Restatement•Remember it is just as important to end a paper strongly as it is to begin one. You can do this by

reminding the reader what the paper was about. Here are some ideas:

• Bring back some idea from your introduction • Summarize your thoughts

• Ask a question• Give a charge or Call to Action for a persuasive

Note the TimeYou will have 100 minutes. You should take all of that time. Here is the “suggested” time line, but yours can vary slightly.•Prewrite – 15 minutes (Think about the topic, brain storm ideas/supporting details, believable facts, etc).•Draft – 35 minutes (Write your first draft. Include specific information about the topic & make sure you are staying on topic).•Revise – 20 minutes (Read back through your paper to make corrections. Look at your word choice, can you make your transitions better, did you address the appropriate audience, etc).•Prepare Final Draft – 20 minutes (On the correct form, write your final draft incorporating the corrections & changes you made in your revisions).•Proof – 10 minutes (Take the last few minutes to read your final draft and do any little tweaking that needs to be done. You don’t have time to start over, so don’t make big changes).

Writing GenresExpository Writing Persuasive Writing

-Introduction -Descriptive information-Conclusion

-Introduction-Supporting reasons-Conclusion

-Introduction-Description of events in chronological order-Conclusion

-Argument-Address Counter argument-Conclusion

-Introduction-Comparison/contrast-Conclusion

-Introduction-One side of the issue-Another side of the issue-Conclusion

-Introduction-Anecdote illustrating position-Conclusion

Writing GenresDemonstrating

Awareness of the Expository Purpose

Establishes a clear controlling idea on the assigned topicProvides relevant details that explain or describe the writer’s topicDefines any technical terms the reader may not know

Demonstrating Awareness of the Persuasive Purpose

Establishes a clear position on the issueProvides relevant supporting ideasSelects convincing details and examples appropriate to the audience assigned in the writing prompt.Anticipates and addresses reader concerns and counter-arguments

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Scoring Domain

Domain Weight % of total score

Ideas 2 x raters’ scores 40%

Organization 1 x raters’ scores 20%

Style 1 x raters’ scores 20%

Conventions 1 x raters’ scores 20%

Weight of Domains

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What Expository Writing Is and Is Not

An effective expository composition . . . An effective expository composition is NOT:

Establishes a clear controlling idea Copying words or information from the writing topic

Uses clear, complete descriptions and/or explanations to develop the controlling idea

A list of facts, a story, and/or personal anecdotes that are unrelated to the topic

Contains an appropriate organizational strategy for the purpose of explanation, description, comparison and contrast, or problem and solution

A response in which ideas are not presented in logical order

Is multi-paragraph writing A single paragraph

Fully develops the controlling idea with specific details and examples

Formulaic writing or a repetitive, standard five-paragraph formula that overshadows the information instead of explaining it

Blends personal experience and knowledge to inform the reader about the topic

An encyclopedic coverage of facts or an abundance of facts that are unrelated to the topic

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An effective expository composition . . . An effective expository composition is NOT:

Uses a lively writing voice that develops the reader's interest

Flat, uninteresting writing

Uses engaging language and varied sentences

An essay that contains imprecise language and little sentence variety

Introduces the reader to the topic, fully develops the topic, and provides a sense of closure

Writing that provides information without introducing, developing, and/or concluding the topic

May contain a short narrative in the introduction to engage the audience

Writing that consists entirely of a story that does not inform the audience about the topic

Contains correct sentences, usage, grammar, and spelling that make the writer's ideas understandable

Incorrect sentences, usage, grammar, and spelling that distract the reader from the writer's ideas

What Expository Writing Is and Is Not

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What Persuasive Writing Is and Is NotAn effective persuasive composition . . . An effective persuasive composition is NOT:

Clearly establishes a position on the issue Copying words or information from the writing topic

Fully develops an argument with specific details and examples

Formulaic writing or a repetitive, standard five-paragraph formula that repeats the writer’s position and supporting reasons

Defends the writer’s position with relevant evidence that is appropriate for the audience identified in the writing topic

A list of irrelevant ideas or supporting ideas that are inappropriate for the audience identified in the writing topic

Demonstrates that the writer can anticipate and counter the audience’s position on the issue

Writing that fails to consider the audience’s position on an issue

Uses specific facts, personal experience and knowledge, and/or statistics to support the writer’s position

A list of facts, a story, and/or personal anecdotes that are unrelated to the writer’s position

Includes appeals to logic and/or emotion A chance for the writer to simply vent about a topic

Contains an organizational structure appropriate for persuasion

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An effective persuasive composition . . . An effective persuasive composition is NOT:

Contains an organizational structure appropriate for persuasion

Writing in which ideas are presented in an illogical or confusing order

Is multi-paragraph writing that supports a specific side of an issue

A single paragraph

Uses appropriate writing voice to engage the reader

Flat, uninteresting writing

Uses precise language and varied sentences

An essay that contains imprecise language and little sentence variety

Introduces the reader to the issue, fully develops a position, and provides a sense of closure

Writing that presents ideas without introducing, developing, and/or providing closure

May contain a short narrative in the introduction or a skillful extended narrative that supports the writer’s position

A story that does not address the persuasive purpose of the topic

Contains correct sentences, usage, grammar, and spelling that make the writer's ideas understandable

Incorrect sentences, usage, grammar, and spelling that distract the reader from the writer's ideas

What Persuasive Writing Is and Is Not

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Sample Expository Writing Topic

Writing Situation: In order to save money, your principal is thinking about canceling all field trips for the remainder of the year.

Directions for Writing: Write an expository essay explaining why fieldtrips are an important educational experience. Be sure to include important facts & details.

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Sample Persuasive Writing Topic

Writing Situation: In order to save money, your principal is thinking about canceling all field trips for the remainder of the year.

Directions for Writing: Write an essay persuading her to allow students to continue attending field trips. Use specific reasons and examples to support your response.

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Sample Expository Writing Topic

Writing Situation: Childhood obesity is a real problem in America. As a way to help combat this, school cafeterias are being challenged to change their menu selections to include healthier, non-processed foods.

Directions for Writing: Write an expository essay suggesting a healthy menu you would like to see offered in our cafeteria.

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Sample Persuasive Writing Topic

Writing Situation: Childhood obesity is a real problem in America. As a way to help combat this, school cafeterias are being challenged to change their menu selections to include healthier, non-processed foods.

Directions for Writing: Write an editorial for the local paper arguing whether or not school lunches should be reformed. Be sure to include specifics to support your argument.

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Sample Expository Writing Topic

Writing Situation: Your school is going to add new connections classes next year. The choices include drafting, self defense, wood shop, or dance.

Directions for Writing: Write a letter to your principal to explain which of these classes would be the best selection. Be sure to provide support for your explanation.

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Sample Persuasive Writing Topic

Writing Situation: Your school is going to add new connections classes next year. The choices include drafting, self defense, wood shop, or dance.

Directions for Writing: Write an essay persuading the committee to select a specific class. Be sure to provide statistics and evidence to support your argument.

Sample Expository Writing Topic

Writing Situation: Many of the schools in Cobb County went to required school uniforms this year. The school board is discussing whether or not to make this a county wide policy.

Directions for Writing: Write a report to the school board explaining the pros/cons of school uniforms.

Sample Persuasive Writing Topic

Writing Situation: Many of the schools in Cobb County went to required school uniforms this year. The school board is discussing whether or not to make this a county wide policy.

Directions for Writing: Write a speech to present to the school board arguing either for or against the move to uniform all students.

Let’s score some papers:Get into groups with elbow partners and talk about these papers as they appear on the screen. Decide on the four domains what score the paper would receive. To the right is the topic information.

Writing Situation: Everyone has thought about what it would be like to travel through time and visit the past or the future.  Directions for Writing: Before you begin writing, think about where and when in time you would like to travel and why you would like to go there. Now write an essay telling where you would like to go in time and explaining why you would like to visit there. Support your ideas with specific examples and details.

Let’s score some papers:Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

Let’s score some papers:

Part 1

Part 2:

Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

Let’s score some papers:Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

Let’s score some papers:

Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

Let’s score some papers:Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

Let’s score some papers:

Part 1:Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

Let’s score some papers:

Part 2:Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

Let’s score some papers:

Let’s score some papers:Part 2:Ideas:Organization:Style:Conventions:

CompetitionFor Lovinggood, one in every three men

failed the writing test, where one in every ten ladies failed.

Let’s keep up the good work! The men don’t have to fail; we just have to do better than they do! Our goal is to see more ladies in the exceeds standards group this year.

It is my challenge & expectation that every young lady sitting in this room today will exceed on the writing test.

The group that shows the greatest improvement on the writing test (moving from does not meet to meets and/or from meets to exceeds) will be rewarded in the spring after scores come back.

We are quietly going to go and join the rest of

the ladies to hear some

inspirational words and music by local talent.

Please stack chairs in stacks of 8 each before leaving. Pick up

all trash and move quietly to

the café.